Tactics Tuesdays: Get Approached by Women | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays: Get Approached by Women

get approachedYesterday evening I was out walking home, when I noticed a tall, thin girl with long hair and a good body in front of me, walking very carefree in heels, tight jean shorts cut off just below the butt, and a tank top, swinging her hips very sexy as she went. She turned around and looked back in my direction, then started singing in a very sweet voice. She turned around to look back a few more times - I was walking faster than her, so gaining on her and closing the distance. I thought about approaching, but then thought about what it takes to get approached by women.

Here was a girl throwing off tons of the things you'll see when girls show interest:

  • She was blatantly looking back at me (she probably knew I was there before I knew she was; even when you're very socially aware, girls are still often going to be the first to spot you before you spot them)
  • She kept looking back at me, which means there was something that was very interesting to her... or, she was trying to get my attention
  • She started singing, which you might not realize, but women will often start to sing or talk on their phones to attract male attention (you can use this same tactic yourself; we'll see that in a moment)

I didn't particularly feel like approaching - I was tired and worn out from a long day, and I wasn't dressed the best. So instead, I wanted to see if I could get approached.

And that's what I'm going to talk with you about today: how can you get women to approach you instead of you having to always approach them?

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

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Comments

Eric's picture

This post is making me realize how many women have actually approached me, and my responses have been terrible. I feel bad for the baristas, college girls, etc who have came up to me / started conversation and I didn't reward them. Or fumbling for example the other day.. when I was trying out day game and one of the girls I decided to approach opened me before I could open her (at the mall while walking alongside). I still did my opening like an idiot because I was too high energy and she backed off like crazy.

Or that one time I playfully threw a quarter at this one girl and this girl that had been eyeing me for awhile came up to me infront of my friends to give it back to me and I asked if she was jewish.

/facepalm, I should have just threw her into my lap or gotten her number

Anonymous's picture

I just got opened by a girl a couple weeks ago and it blew my mind because it the first time it had happened to me. I went to a local bar by myself and sat down. I kept busy listening to the music, sending emails on my phone, drinking my beer and glancing at the people around me every once in a while. Trying not to look to eager and completely OK with being there myself. I noticed this hot girl looking across the bar (circular bar) at me a few times and are eyes almost met, but I would not let it happen (Now i know that if i have locked eyes I would have had to approach). I just carried on and did not give into her attempts at getting me to notice her. The bartender put another beer in front of me and said it was paid for the girl who was looking for me. I had never been bought a drink out of nowhere before and it surprised me. I did not go over and say hi for a while peaking her interest even more. When I finally went over to her she had a big smile on her face and definitely wanted me. The rest worked out well.

I had not read any of the articles here before that happen but now I realize how it worked so well. I did not seem to eager to please her and in turn I had all the value. Usually I approach and I am to eager to complement or prove myself to a girl and it does not work.

Great stuff on this site and it really helps. You are doing a great service.

Bates's picture

Until recently, I have only noticed this in retrospect. Most recently, I did catch a girl trying to get my attention fairly quickly. So I am getting better. But anyway, I remember this girl once randomly approached me with her friend and mentioned something about my shirt. I did not think anything of it at the time. It was really strange to be honest. A few days later, while walking around, her friend started probing for info: if I had a girlfriend (or maybe she asked if I was single). That stuck out a bit and I am not sure if I connected it then, but I did eventually. I think there were a few other clues that I cannot remember. Unfortunately, I took too long to realize this and we parted ways (our schedules forced us apart).

Another time, this girl kept trying to talk to me despite her having a boyfriend. Maybe she was trying to make him jealous. She kept finding me, talking to me, wanted me to come with her. I didnt know what to do then and was advised by friends to not bother. Having read the relevant article on this site, I now know what to do if that ever happens again. Incidentally, they broke up within the past year and she still seems a bit flirty on facebook from time to time.

And as I write this, I can remember further back, a girl my friend introduced me to and said we should be a couple, SHE approached ME later when I was alone. I almost got that to work, but screwed some things up. The worst part is I knew I was screwing up when I was screwing up and didnt stop myself. I was just so inexperienced.

And the one common thread in all this that I have noticed is that I was not interested really in any of them and was not even really looking too hard for a girl. It just was not on my mind really. As I have inferred from the articles here, that apparently is attractive to at least some girls. Enough to do something with if you can get with the program fast enough.

Night Rider's picture

Hi Chase

I have experience on several occasions a feeling or a hunch that I was being approached by a girl, I was never sure about it. I have been too sheepish to capitalize on it.

1. situation)
Two weeks ago I danced at the side of the dance floor or leaned towards a wall (wallflower). A cute and taller girl appeared like one meter from me and she was dancing on her own. I moved 3 meters further, she followed soon after. This happened 3 or 4 times. I looked at her face (although I could not see much because of the dark in the club) and she slowly moved her face towards me as if she was expecting me to do something (to kiss her?).
What is a chance of the hypothesis the tall girl hitting on me is incorrect? Is it not gross if tall girl is chasing the short guy? I am 170cm (5ft7in) and she was like 10cm (4in) taller .The girl was face cute and shy in the face but she was too tall. I checked if she had the high heel shoes like other girls in clubs, she didn't . I simply do not consider girls taller than me for dating or romance, even though she was face cute and kissable. If she was a head shorter (or me taller) I would kiss her, but it is awkward and technically more complicated to kiss the taller girl. I can kiss a girl who is taller than me in her high heel shoes only. I can lift the girl and put her on the floor bare. Nothing has happened with the girl at the end, she was sitting on the bench sad because of my inaction.
Am I doing right thing by screening girls for height?
Why would a taller girl be hitting on the shorter guy? Is it not gross?
Do very tall girls have limited pool of guys much like short guys have limited pool of girls?

2. situation)

The same night and club few moments later two Indian girls approached me. (Indian girls tend to be shorter.) I fancied one of them, but because of the loud music I just tried to remain cool and show interest and flirt by giving her my sun glasses to play with and smile little bit. No talk. Nothing has happened either. How was I supposed to open her over the loud music? I don't like shouting.

3. situation)

Another place and time there were two young chicks (like early twenties) in the club dancing on the 80' music face 2 face with each other holding their both hands to each other probably giving a moral support to each other to approach me and they both looked at me looking for the signs if I am going to do something, to dance both of them or any of them. I smiled at them and they looked at themselves confused who I was smiling at or who I like more. Were I supposed to dance with both of them , or pick random and dance with one of them? What would you recommend?

4. situation)
Another time and place I was sitting on the bench in the corner in the club and one girl (I didn't fancy them)
on every side of me. Another girl I fancied was little bit further on the bench. I was trying to talk to girls next to me but they very largely ignoring me, they talked to each other instead through me. (how rude??) . When a club photographer came he tried to take a picture of me and two girls next to me and we had a little bit fun . After that I leaned to the front to grab a very archaic camera of guy opposite to me to play with. and girls at my sides followed, then I realized with my peripheral vision that the girl I fancied was staring at me. I slowly moved my head left to make the eye contact with her for like 2 seconds when she suddenly moved her eyes elsewhere. What does it mean? What should I have done. Should I have sit next to her and just kiss her with no words?
That girl is my type by the way, she is educated (GP) , good age (30), good height.

5.situation)
I spotted a girl on the tube platform.
There was also a guy looking lost and confused about a message on the information panel about the train will not come, so I tried to explain to him to ignore it because the message was related to the national rail service rather than to the tube. We created a commotion by talking. We got onto the tube , the same carriage. Me and the guys were sitting opposite. The girl sat on the side of the guy having one spare seat in between, I could comfortably see her all the time and she could see me. I was generally and socially talking (very rare on the tube) to the guy about his destination, job etc and the girl was pretending to listen to music on the headphones. When we talked about his former job. I asked him if he is a good salesman. And he said yes. So I said you must be a very good liar too then. At this point the girl pulled her headphones off and said she could not bear it any longer. She said it was too strong judgement or something like this. She said she was also at sales and so on. She had a conversation with the guy only excluding/ignoring me. They had a thing in common. The salespeople. The guy left few stops after. I had an opportunity to continue talking to her, but I failed. How was I supposed to open her. To neg her, something like. " Did I upset you by implying the good salespeople are good liars?" Again I missed the opportunity. I did nothing, remained quiet, she put the headphones on and left few stops after the guy. I also noticed while we both were quiet I glanced her several times briefly and she was looking at me , my clothes or something.
Were I supposed to chase her after she got off the train. Did she show an interest in me or the guy? Did she open me or the other guy by joining our conversation (basicaly replacing me in the conversation) or it was just a social situation?

Please Give me a brief advise or comment for each of the situation.

Thanks

Anonymous's picture

Damn I was such an idiot in college. I lacked inner confidence and experience. Women used to approach me a lot back then and I guess I was doing all these things without realizing it. Because of my lack of confidence and experience I didn't give them a great response and didn't take it any further.

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