What Does She Mean? 15 Examples Piercing the Veil of Woman-Speak | Girls Chase

What Does She Mean? 15 Examples Piercing the Veil of Woman-Speak

what does she meanSince the dawn of time, men have made the fatal mistake of taking the words of women at face value. I can’t blame our kind, as we are logical beings who say what we mean and mean what we say.

But women…women are masters of subtlety. Subtlety and subtext are their hallmarks. And until you become well-versed in the language of the female, you can easily find yourself dumbfounded and in a storm of fury.

No treacherous territory should be treaded without a map. And no reasonable man should allow himself to be saddened, deluded, or maddened by his inability to understand what a girl actually means.

So today I’m going to lay out such a road map. I’m going to outline the common phrases you’ll hear from women in various contexts and what they really mean. I hope this will prevent you from being confused, frustrated, dumbfounded, or from having to ask yourself: what does she mean?

Colt WilliamsAbout the Author: Colt Williams

Raised in the American Midwest, Colt Williams made a name for himself in dating with a style based on soulful poetic seductions and playful dance floor antics. His style is all about inspiring girls and drawing them into one’s world. You can book phone coaching with him here, or get a copy of his guide to getting laid on Tinder, the product of months of study and experimentation by him on the medium.

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Comments

Anonymous's picture

You write that "Only the foolish would dare to answer yes" on the question of "Do I look fat?". But on Chase's article on "How to be an asshole" he writes that when a girl is fishing for compliments, you should bust their stones. Reassuring her instead is something she expects and what every nice guy would do. What do you think?

Maxmilion's picture

This I agree with not letting her gish for.compliments

I have a beautiful girl in my life now and she is always like hey, am I squishing you? Ill say yes, your like the size of a whale of man it hurts... I mean if she is not confident about her body this doesn't work but these girls will be like jerk and hit me.

So I agree with this comment

Author
Colt Williams's picture

Anon and Max,

Both good points. I should have added the caveat that it'd be foolish to say yes if she means the question *sincerely*. But yes, obviously if the girl is skinny and cute, then you have license to make fun of her. I appreciate the feedback!

Cheers,
Colt

Anonymous's picture

Egad, man! I've had #10 happen to me with three different girls over the past 6 months. Two were single and one was married but found out her husband cheated on her. I just was not interested in the two single girls because they were so boring but now that I think about it, why did I ever pass up the free milk :-)? The MILF, I was tempted to be used by her for revenge sex, but backed on in the end because I was worried about getting caught in the middle.

I feel so dumb now...

I feel

xIRONCROSSx's picture

Hi Colt,
I really dig your style and the way you see things. I'm a 24 yr old graduate and have been on my journey for knowledge around women for about 7 months.

After reading so many stories on here, like your incident with Simone, I can't help but think....wow, women are purely selfish harlots who will do whatever without a second thought to make themselves feel good, especially if it means shoving guys down to elevate themselves or stringing guys along. This is a massively bitter take on the opposite sex, I know and I have read a few articles including how to dispel lingering bitterness but at the same time, I cannot help but feel like women will gladly keep guys around and knowingly use them and drain them of their self-respect and dignity to make herself happy.

Sometimes I find myself asking...are women really this ruthless? Do women really think this way and treat people this way? Why would I want to even bother when it sounds like women will jump from guy to guy without a second thought about the consequences or how it hurts someone? (Lover v Provider here)

Obviously these may seem a bit immature and truly show my newbie colors with women, but I am okay with that. However, I came from a dark past of depression, more anxiety than I have now, and hate...truly hating everyone and seeing the world as just a bleak, hopeless, dream crushing place and I have made big strides in trying to change my way of thinking...to a more positive, optimistic outlook and to think the best of people first (innocent until proven guilty), but reading things like this just kind of rocks me a little bit. It makes me feel like not a single one can be trusted, which deep down I know absolutely is incorrect but still...

I too had "that one girl" who set me on my path to learning and guidance but now I am starting to question myself and everything I've learned. If a woman opens herself up emotionally and sexually, then why would she sleep around and risk getting herself severely emotionally wounded? I know a message on GC is to take care of girls' emotions and to not toy with them, but it seems like they'll throw that to the wind?

I am hoping you or others might be able to help me see the light or good in women? Perhaps you can point me to some sort of more motivational or inspirational articles or something? Feelin a little lost...

Thanks again man,
-M

Author
Colt Williams's picture

M,

I really appreciate your sincere and thought-provoking question. The short answer to your query is no, women are not ruthless. Well, at least not to men. They can be quite ruthless to each other though, that's for sure.

But to understand my answer, let me try to have you see things from their perspective.

Imagine a world where from this day forward, all anyone cared about was your physical appearance. Sure, they might try to get to know you here and there, but all they really wanted you for was your body. And you knew. Your facial features and bodily structure were your meal ticket to get anything. Now imagine that 90% of the girls you saw on a daily basis wanted to have sex with you. Not only did they want to have sex with you, but all you had to do to make it happen was to express even the slightest interest. Or to just outright say that you wanted to have sex with them.

Now imagine meeting one of these thousands of girls and hitting it off with one. She's a nice girl. Not anything fantastic, but she texts you all the time, buys you gifts, tells you how great you are, and is generally...nice. You enjoyed hooking up with her and didn't mind spending time with her, but you had no interest in commitment.

Next, suppose that you met a bombshell of a woman. Not only was she incredibly attractive, but she's also funny and pretty smart. And to add on to that, say that she just kept telling you everything that you wanted to hear and was insinuating that she wanted to smash your brains out.

And here's the kicker. Here's the part that we can't imagine because we're men. But try to take yourself now -- everything you think and feel -- and have every moment affect you 10 TIMES as strongly in terms of your emotions and insecurities.

What would you do with this hot girl? What you tell the nice girl?

Well, that's the dilemma that most decently cute girls and above face on a more or less weekly basis. It's not that girls are ruthless; in fact, they are quite the opposite. Most of them hate actually hurting guys. But they have to go where the value is. They have to go where their emotions lead them.

And most guys don't get that. They take it personally when girls do this. But it's not personally malicious from the girl's point of view. And girls do feel bad, trust me. They just hate conflict, so they just run away or disappear from situations.

It's hard for men to understand women very intimately because women don't understand women a lot of the time. But once you take note of their behavior, you start to understand the patterns.

And rather than trying to use logic to coax them into seeing how valuable you are (as most guys try to do), you have to play their game. And you have to be better at their game than they are. You have to bring positive emotions. You have to be internally grounded. You have to be unfazed by their strong emotions and nonsense. You have to be play to win. You have to laugh it off when you lose early and often. You have to let go and meet the next one with just as much enthusiasm.

That's how you become a lover of women. You have to realize the kind of world that girls live in, and rather than let it frustrate you, you have to just acknowledge it and learn how to navigate it.

And when you do inevitably get burned, you just have to smile, shrug and say: "girls will be girls!"

For further reading, check out:
http://www.girlschase.com/content/most-important-thing-becoming-lover-wo...

http://www.girlschase.com/content/girls-girls-girls-how-my-view-you-has-...

http://www.girlschase.com/content/how-women-think-about-life-love-and-se...

I hope this has helped! Keep fighting the good fight M!

All the best,

Colt

C.'s picture

Colt,

I often share M's frustration over many women's unpredictability in dating (in fact this reality used to regularly depress me and make me feel resentful of women, too, but I've learnt to not let it get to me quite so much anymore). Well, this answer/explanation of yours right here in response to M's comment is one of the most helpful things in this regard that I've come across ! Thanks for that, and best regards from Germany ! :)

Anonymous's picture

I'm sorry to to tell you but it's true. I have yet to attempt at a girl with my lack of skills and had it turn out well for me because I'm just such a nice guy. Women can talk all the trash they want about men and how they don't think about women's feelings but in truth they don't think of ours either. I'm only speaking from my experience, I'm not speaking for everyone.

I'm probably the least experienced with women anyway, so don't just take my word for it. I had the courage to ask out two girls. The first was a girl from high school I knew and she pulled the "creep card" on me. I knew this girl for two years, she sat right next to me in class by HER CHOICE. I used to joke with her, play with her hair, caress her cheek, sometimes, I'd see a smile creep up on her face when I touched her. I but she rejected all of my advances like when I tried to walk with her or even talk to her outside of class.

Eventually I caught her and her friend talking about me behind my back, she accused me of following her to lunch, even though we had the same lunch period and sat on opposite ends of the lunch room. I graduated that year, she said she wanted to come see me(she was just a grade behind me). We we're still friends though, and one day we were in class alone together and when she didn't pick up her phone a single time I thought I was "wearing her down". Never did ask her out though, got her number over the summer. Talked to her a few times and she rarely texted back.

One day I decided that I'd tell her how I feel and she said " Oh, I love you....but as a firend." didn't here from her again until much later. I eventually got fed up with her blowing me off, it had been a whole other year and we'd yet to hang out once and I knew what that meant. She responded lying about me calling her a bitch one time and that's why she didn't want to hang out with me, told me she was blocking me and didn't want to talk to me again. I kept leaving her messages though, like an idiot. I just assumed she had blocked me, but it made me feel better to think maybe she was just upset and we'd be friends again if I showed her I was sincerely sorry for calling her a bitch(even though I never did). Never happened.

Here's the killer part, you know what she did instead of actually blocking me. Which the logical thing to do would've been. Like the Fake Creep one says if she really felt threatened she should have blocked me. She filed for a restraining order because I wouldn't stop, even though my last message was me saying "You won't be hearing from me again" because she replied to me saying stop messaging her or else.

The second girl I asked out was a girl I met at work. She seemed pretty nice. I actually got introuble for the two of us being "too relaxed" together at work. I knew she liked me because she laughed at all my jokes, I swear she was even dropping sexual innuendos. So I asked for her number and later called her to see if she might want to go out some time she said "no", but for some reason continued talking to me. No explanation what so ever just no.

Then later I found out she slept with some guy at work and he told everybody so they all think she's a slut. There was even a rumor going around about her sleeping with someone else she worked with, but when I asked her she said it wasn't true and she seemed really upset. After about another week I decided not to play or around, I told her she had nothing to fear with me but we obviously aren't just friends.

She ended up telling me she was already seeing someone. I asked who and she named this other guy that worked there. This nerdy guy, my first impression was someone asking if he was in the bathroom and when I said no, he said "Yea I'm here" while he was on the toilet shitting. She chose that guy over me, why? Because he seemed nice and I seemed like a player. Some how I came off playerish?! How the hell did I manage that without having slept with or even so much as flirted with a single girl at work. Anyways, that's my experience. The only two girls I tried to go out with screwed me over because they thought me as a friend. Now I've learned friendship is the last thing on their mind.

bishop's picture

Funny as everybody is technically busy. Could be an honest, forthright statement, could be a no-go, frequently means, "I'm not done having you work to get my attention." But, by the time I heard it I had already invested sufficiently for a first date. So don't get aggressive when you see me at the club with other women, because at face value it's a little insulting as I'm busy too, and if it's a no-go then why are you mad, and if it means more investment is needed then you haven't valued how much investment it took just to get your attention and work up to asking you out over a number of chance meetings. Some women (people) don't always see themselves realistically, and some women will never be appeased. In other words, "This is too much work baby!" Some will get you on a hamster wheel before you even know it, if you let them.

Author
Colt Williams's picture

Bishop,

Great point. That would've been a good one to have on the list. "I'm really busy" either means keep working to get my attention (as you rightly pointed out) or I just enjoy the attention you're giving me but have no actual intention of seeing you in person or...I'm trying to get rid of you but you just won't take a hint.

But yes hah, it is funny that no matter what the case may be, they do always seem to get jealous when they see you with other women! Ah, females.

-Colt

Anonymous's picture

What about the:

I'll let you know *anything*

Just had one say "if I'm free any other days" in the place of anything.
I think it's the same as maybe/sometime.

Maxmilion's picture

Most of these I agree to some.I do not however.

When she says in the first part im not.looking for a relationship right now. She really is. From my experience when people are upset especially they say the opposite of what they really want because they are tired of being hirt or not.finding the right one. You missed and escalation window... so many times I.have turned around and said ok and.just kept persisting her to come back to my.place just to talk. If she was on a date with you im going to say this os true in this context.

Wolf's picture

This was a good article Colt, but reading it made me get angry. I've always had this mentality of "bitches aint shit" and "fuck dat bitch". My mentality helped me out so much to not end up in the situations you posted here. Yes I've heard a few of those lines before, but I don't give a shit about these girls except for sex because girls always lie and like chase says they always have a dude. I'm not bitter and I love women, but you cannot trust these women and cut them off if they put up resistance.

Girls don't want a nice guy and love being treated like shit. For real, I've had so many girls tell me they push my buttons so they can see me get angry and put them in their place. They say it's a turn on, I don't know why, but they love being treated like shit, if they didn't, you would never hear these girls complain about their boyfriends and then going back out with him after she says he no good. They love it.

I'm very cut throat and inpatient with these girls. I don't even let them get a chance to say I like you as a friend, or I like you too much. Im cut and dry and if I don't get what I want, next!

And hearing about how your friend slept with another dude after you confessed your feelings is not right at all. It never happened to me before because I hear and have seen dudes confess their feelings and the girl they would say that to would sleep with me and tell me about it. They would laugh about how he confessed his love to her and im saying to myself, you're a fucking bitch for real. I really feel for you when you talked about simone because shit what she did was not right and she should of been honest with you.

The whole point of my comment is , why lie and lead dudes on to make yourself look like you're better than the dude that likes you? Just be honest and tell the dude straight up no. I don't want my brothers getting trapped with this "maybe" bullshit getting their hopes up and then crashing into a depression because they were lead on.

To all my brothers, don't fall for what these girls say, watch what they do, and get rid of all emotion, so you don't get your hopes up.

Sorry for the rant colt, but shit like that makes me angry. I've seen to many guys im close with; go through the ringer chasing these girls that lead them on, causing them to be depressed when they find out the love of their life has been getting dicked down the whole time.

Great article Colt, keep putting these dudes on game.

Author
Colt Williams's picture

Wolf,

I appreciate your passionate comment. A lot of girls can't be straight with men because they hate conflict. Most girls will do anything in the world to avoiding having to be in any kind of confrontation or emotionally difficult situation.

And of lot of them cover up their own insecurities or potential vulnerabilities by making fun of men who put themselves out there.

Finding a girl who will tell you like it is is like stumbling upon a diamond in the dirt. Not impossible, but probably not going to happen in this country. I agree that it is tricky to put your full trust in most women. But there are some gems out there.

With Simone, it was really hard at the time, but it's so funny how little I think about it these days and how it basically doesn't affect me anymore. Like I said, it was probably one of the most valuable experiences of my entire life.

As long as you keep loving women and keep putting yourself out there in the right places -- you'll find em. Try not to be frustrated with them!

Keep Keepin On,

Colt

blogster's picture

Yes, think I've heard every one of these over the journey. Colt, do you believe that it rests with their biology? I.e., being the weaker sex evolutionary and tending to home in female circles, their survival depended on their place in the circle?

Author
Colt Williams's picture

Blogster,

Women can do nothing else besides what's programmed in their biology. Just as we men have to follow our own biological imperatives.

Women just have different social responsibilities (i.e. reputation is king, or queen, as it were) and they are much more affected by their emotions. So as I said to M, they don't intend to malicious.

It's like the story of the scorpion and the frog. Everything they do is their nature. And as you point out, part of their nature is to maintain status and get the most worthy male.

So if that means quietly excusing themselves from the lives of lesser men...that's what it means unfortunately. That's why you have to keep working to be the best you can be.

-Colt

Xander's picture

When I sometimes ask girl to go out with me she answer: "I don't know", or "I'll consider". Does that mean same as maybe/sometime, or should I be more persistent because she really can't decide in that moment?
Thanks again,
Alex

Author
Colt Williams's picture

Xander,

Unfortunately "I don't know" usually means "no" or "I'm not interested enough to say yes." So I'd say persist hard one more time. If it doesn't go anywhere after that, let it go.

-Colt

Anonymous's picture

Hey, great article, loved it!
So, if a girl was texting you #10 out of nowhere, what would be, in your opinion, the best texts to answer back, so it can quickly and smoothly leads to sexting?

Thanks!

Author
Colt Williams's picture

Anon,

To be honest, as long as you respond at all and say that you aren't busy, things should be fine.

You can literally say anything. But personally, I like to play coy. I know what she's doing, but I like to make her say it outright. I'll say things like "why, what's on your mind?" or "what are you thinking about at this hour?" And things like that.

But that's just me. Honestly, if you say you're free and just ask her what she's doing, it she lead to sexting or sexting without the "ting".

Cheers!

A.S.'s picture

I get this one, or a close variation on it, a lot: "You seem high-energy. What do you do?" (Or "You've got a lot of energy" or "you're really high-energy.") What's it mean?

Tone it down? Turn that energy on me? Or something else entirely?

Anonymous's picture

She is communicating that you got her interest and now she`s probing and flirting a little.
She would possibly like to find out if you can carry her to orgasm, or if you will lose your drive on the way. Also she`s probably trying to find out if you are trustworthy.
It`s kind of a frame-test, or "shittest" as some call it.

To answer these my personal strategy is to say the first thing that comes to my mind. You will lose a few girls this way, but you learn a lot about yourself and women in the process. And in my experience theres no alternativ to spontanious answers, because the speed of your answer will subcommunicate that you are trustworthy and preselected.

The reason why you get these "tests" is possibly that men who provide orgasms on a regular basis can afford to use less effort in their interactions with women.

My advice is to just proceed as you do and with more success you will get a bit lazier and cooler naturally.

Anonymous's picture

Hi ,
I've been trying to figure out this girl at work I'm interested in and not having much success. First time I saw her outside work she had invited me to her place for a drink and it seemed she was interested until she brings up the subject of dating and says "I've just started seeing someone " Not what I had expected to hear....
So I figure I'll chat to her at work and keep it friendly for a while texting occasionally and see what happens.
A few weeks go by and by her conversation I had guessed she wasn't seeing anyone now so I invited her to my place for a drink as I had just had surgery and couldn't go out [ or get intimate sadly].
So she comes over and again brings up dating saying she isn't ready to see anyone as she has left over issues from a previous marriage and was seeing a doctor about it.
I've held back from doing anything because of this and now am wondering if what she says is true or it was as you've said above
" I'm not ready to date you ".
She is still friendly at work but doesn't always respond to texts but I'm keeping those to a minimum so as not to seem needy.
I know there are no absolutes but any advice would be appreciated

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