How Much Do Looks Matter for Romantic Success? | Girls Chase

How Much Do Looks Matter for Romantic Success?

do looks matterLately, a friend of mine has been bringing up a recently acquired belief that looks are everything, and everything else is nothing, when it comes to meeting and picking up women. I've avoided being drawn into the debate as best I can, but any time I mention anything women-related, I've been hearing it from him: “Oh, I don't even listen to that, because the only thing that matters is looks.”

Disagreeing with him gets one told one is in denial, and he cites a few examples of very good looking friends of his who get better results with women than anybody else he knows as evidence that only good looking guys can get good looking girls.

I've refrained from weighing in too much on this until now, because I understand why he's thinking this way and why he's trying to convince everyone that looks are all that matters. But I felt like the topic is a good one, and that it'd make for good article fodder and be something worth addressing here. The topic being:

Do looks matter to women, and if so how much?

And the answer I've got for you here will almost certainly surprise you, no matter which side of the fence you fell on prior to reading this.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

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Comments

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase,

Found this article very interesting, great work! I just have a few questions for you, I know a girl who speaks to lots of men. I'm one of her closest friends and I just wanted to ask you this: How do you make her look forward/want to speak to you more often?

Sometimes since she gets lots of texts from different men, she probably just wants to sometimes not reply because she's not in the mood or doesn't want to continue the converstation.

How do you keep her interested and wanting to keep the conversation going over text or even just speaking to her normally.

Thanks,
Tom

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Tom-

That's tough, mainly because of what we discussed in "How to Get Girls: The Last Post You'll Ever Need." At some point, a girl's going to start seeing some guy, and usually, at that point, she loses interest in most of the other men who were chasing her... they look a little weak.

The best way I've found to maintain attraction over the long-term with a girl you're not sleeping with is:

  • Be exceptionally engaging
  • Have an outstanding but under-the-radar sense of humor
  • Don't be too available and let her do all the chasing / initiating

The men who are still putting effort into her while she's with other men she loses interest in very fast. But the men she doesn't talk to for 3 months or 4 months or 6 months, and then they trade a couple of good emails or go out and get drinks, this can still work.

In a social situation where you're around her frequently, you must keep her at the periphery of your social circle if you're not going to sleep with her any time very soon (see: "The Secret to Hooking Up with Friends"). If you let her get too close to you, and you don't sleep with her soon after, it very quickly drops into the friend zone, where it will probably not come back out from.

Chase

Kvothe's picture

This is perfect.

Anonymous's picture

Also Chase, can you post up an article on Hairstyles? I'm still not sure how it makes people see my presence different.

-Thanks

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Yes - it's on my list!

Chase

Knight's picture

I'm still recovering from the post about facial hair. Found out it could be a while longer until I can grow facial hair due to inherited genetics. I sometimes want facial hair more than some women!

Looking forward to it though Chase.

Knight

Brian48's picture

One what do u do when a girl your casually seeing gives you the ultimatum to cut off sex/stop seeing you etc. if you dont get serious w/ her and you dont really want to commit to her? Game over?
And two, would you ever consider a casual relationship with a girl that had a threesome with you and one of your male friends(I'm not bi but yeah I know I'm a wild dude, lol). And besides that if you were in an open relationship with a girl but you found out she slept with one of your male friends (threw him of course)would you quit her? Friends are of limits right? Its been my experience serious or not girls hate it when you screw their friends. It should go both ways right?

Wallflower's picture

I just had to reply to this one... Maybe you need to think about what it is that you want and consider appropriate in a relationship (casual or not) first. Like, think for a second what types of values you have and how far you are willing to stretch them. Then decide.

I think the worst thing that I have done to myself over the course of my life (I am close to Chase's age) is to think with a mentality of what others would do in my place and would they find it moral, right, appropriate. Nowdays, I am trying really hard to throw that mentality out the door. Because unless you are hurting someone there is no right or wrong way to live and I think you should define those parameters for yourself without looking at others and their views. Or, better yet, not define them at all and see what happens. If you say you are a wild dude, then maybe that's what you are and that's maybe how you should be living your life. I think as long as you are not harming anyone, you shouldn't be so concerned about whether it is moral to fuck your friends friends', etc. Does it feel wrong to you? Or is it only bothering you because others say it is wrong?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Brian-

I'm with Wallflower on this one. It sounds like everybody else here is fine with doing these things (e.g., the girl, your pal) - so, the question comes down to what do you want?

I don't do casual relationships anymore personally - haven't done them since I first got into actively meeting women, back in 2006. The most I'll see a girl I don't want as a girlfriend is twice. There are a bunch of reasons for that, but probably the biggest one is that you become like the people you spend time around. If she's not high caliber enough for me to make her a girlfriend, I probably don't want to be picking up too much influence from her (plus, I'd rather use my sex drive to meet new girls than spend it on seeing the same non-girlfriend caliber girl). But I want different things and think about things a little differently than most folks.

My buddies who enjoy MMF threesomes have mixed opinions on getting into casual relationships with the girls they have them with - some write them off as girls they wouldn't keep seeing under any circumstance, while others are fine with it. One word of caution, though: one of my wildest wild guy friends had a girl he was seeing casually that he double-teamed with his roommate a couple of times, and eventually he started getting more serious with the girl and stopped seeing other girls because he got comfortable and complacent with her. One night when she was out drunk, she ended up sleeping with his roommate again, and he found out later. He confided in me that this actually hurt him a good deal, and he was surprised that it would, since he'd encouraged her to do the MMF threesome with the roommate in the first place (surprised me too; I really thought dude had zero emotions toward women!). But I guess her doing it with him was one thing; her doing it without him was something else.

Just something to be aware of before you start seeing her - precedent is important in all relationships, and if you set a precedent of crazy wild sex, that's the precedent she's going to maintain with you even if your emotions change later, as they sometimes do with casual relationships that go on longer.

Chase

Brian48's picture

I also noticed you have a kinda zero tolerance for female bullshit, and I noticed that the more a guy puts up with crap and doesnt give the chick the boot the worse the bullshit gets. Looking back on the crazy spanish chick situation I was telling you about and reading the women and drama article you wrote and how your girl was talking about running out and screwing ten guys or whatever and you straight showed her the door no hesitation, I wish I had pulled the trigger too like you did before my situation got completely out of had like it did.
Also I see your not the the forgiving type when it comes to cheating in a serious relationship. I have a family member who got married in the 80's. Bout a year in wife starting cheating on him repeatedly. He kept taking her back. His solution was to to keep moving her from place to place where she was not known. Regardless she continued to cheat and cheat. Besides the the kids they had together he is now raising two she had outside the marriage, and you can tell because they are bi-racial, and they are still "together". Sad story but I guess the saying goes you give a worm or weed an inch or whatever and they take a yard.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Brian-

Yes... if you give a mouse a cookie, then he'll want a glass of milk.

The kind of girls I date go their entire lives getting their ways from everyone. They're used to commanding men and having men do whatever they want. If you're anything other than very low tolerance for drama, it becomes a shit show very quickly. They're fun to be around, and educational, but you can't give them that inch or they start walking all over you.

It helps once you really internalize the fact that people are who they are, and you aren't going to change them. Most guys seem to have this attitude of, "Okay, well, I'll just let her get away with it this time, and then she'll change and it'll never happen again!" The correct attitude is, "This is who she is and what she does. All I'm going to do is tell her she's going to cut it out or she's going to leave. So she's either going to change it - because she knows I won't tolerate it - or she's not going to change it, and she'll leave. And then I'll go find a girl who doesn't have this problem."

On cheating - I see that as a line that's crossed where how she thinks about you changes permanently, and cannot be undone. She's always going to be at least mildly undermining you, and she's always going to be a trust risk and a distraction - instead of you worrying about other important things, you've now got to be monitoring her constantly and tracking what she's up to if you care even one iota about fidelity (if you legitimately don't - and I haven't met anyone like this, but he might be out there - it may be a different story). There are SO many gorgeous, brilliant, amazing women in the world who HAVEN'T ever cheated on a partner and are disinclined to do so... I can't find any argument for staying with a woman this has happened with, other than that the guy just isn't that good with women and she's a far better catch than what he could otherwise get (in that case, sometimes it makes sense; e.g., that family member of yours, if the wife is, say, 40% better than the best he can possibly get other than her, it may make sense for him to stay with her just to have a couple of kids with her even if he has to raise some other men's kids too - biologically, he still gets to reproduce with a girl way outside his league, so he still "wins," biologically speaking).

This also comes with experience - the first strong-willed woman I dated I was constantly standing there with my mouth agape thinking/feeling like, "What do I do?" And the first time I had a situation where a girl I'd been seeing had been seeing another guy too without telling me, my emotions basically paralyzed - logic was saying, "You know what you need to do," while emotions were saying, "No! Cannot lose her!" That kicked off my absolute abundance kick - I realized the emotions don't quiet until you know for a fact you can easily replace even the most amazing girlfriend. Once you know THAT, you can behave calmly and rationally, and command the respect and behavior from women you want. Until you're there though, your emotions will always sabotage you, to give you a chance at reproducing with a woman you might not be able to replace (like that family member you mentioned).

Chase

Brian48's picture

Thanks Chase, Wallflower.

Balla's picture

Hey Chase, I can agree with everything you wrote to a T. What I want to ask about is this.

You say naturals are better to learn from right? What I want to know is what your teaching us is natural stuff or pick up stuff? I ask because I know you learned on your own but I know that you also did learn how to pick up from naturals and puas.

I actually want to be natural, how do I become natural? I want to be the best I can be and know I can be better than a pua. Please don't tell me it's too late to become a natural seducer. Should I just sleep with all types of girls no matter how they look?
Thanks Chase!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Balla-

Well, *I* think naturals are better to learn from, because I'm very good at breaking down what works for other people, figuring out why it works, and teaching it to myself and imitating it and iterating it. Most guys I've talked to in the pickup community consider men who are naturally good with women to have nothing to offer them, because they need someone to explain it to them, and the guy who's naturally good can't do that. He doesn't know how he gets girls, exactly; he just knows he talks to them a little, jokes with a little, and then suddenly BOOM! they're having sex.

I also put no faith in what people tell me themselves. My assumption is, most people are false-ascribing their success and thinking that one thing is causing success when it's actually something completely different. e.g., I've known naturals who'd tell you it was their muscles or their looks that got them laid, but they had the tightest verbal game I'd ever seen, and there were plenty of other guys who looked like them and/or had their physiques and weren't getting anywhere near their results. Clearly looks and muscles help, but there's more there to it that they aren't even aware makes a difference. Because most people ascribe their success to the wrong things, if you're only listening to their words and not watching the complete process of what they're doing, you'll end up being misled.

Being natural just comes from getting enough experience with women. Everyone starts off learning things bit by bit (even guys who seem naturally good); with enough experience you start reaching a point where you don't even understand much of what you're doing. Many of the things I've written on this site were not things I learned consciously first; rather, I started doing them, and then sat down and broke down what I was doing later to teach guys I was mentoring or instructing. Deep diving was like that; I just figured out a way to talk to girls that I found worked well for me, and the only thing I could tell you about it at first was, "Just keep her talking and get her talking about emotions and stuff. Talk as little as possible. Then she starts feeling really connected to you and you invite her home and you guys have sex." But guys would look at me and say, "How do I do THAT?" and I had to sit down and show it to them, and eventually I figured out how to describe it in greater detail.

Sleeping with all types of women no matter how they look: that's really tough to answer because I don't know what your standards are like right now and what your success rates and experience rates are like. I will say this: I don't know any really prolific guys who ONLY sleep with gorgeous women. I've met lots of prolific guys who CLAIM they only sleep with gorgeous women... and then you see pictures of the women they sleep with and they're actually all over the map. What happens though is as you rack up more experience, your standards change. There are lots of girls I'd consider "okay" or "cute" now because they have a good enough body and a passable face that I'd have considered below my standards many years ago... the main reason why is, when you're relatively inexperienced, your thinking is, "Well, if this girl and I hit it off, she might become my girlfriend, but is this a girl I really want as a girlfriend? Hmm... well... I don't know... I don't think she's quite cute enough," but, as you get more and more experience, your thinking is, "I'm just going to have sex with this girl once - so let's enjoy it - she's cute enough for that!" Essentially, you stop assessing every girl as a potential girlfriend, and instead assess them simply as short-term flings (meanwhile, you retain your old standards for assessing potential girlfriends).

Anyway, it's a deep topic - I'll put it in the article queue for a more in-depth treatment.

Chase

Balla's picture

OK, thanks Chase. How do you get tight verbal game? What do you say to make your game good?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Balla-

Just mentioned this in response to your other comment here; I'd say it's a combination of wit, wisdom, and probing questions.

On wit - I'll get an article up. On wisdom, best resources for that are the posts on active listening and Colt's piece on how to succeed with women, where he discusses being inspirational. And on creating conversation via good questions, I linked to some articles in that other response - although I'm sure you've already read all those at this point anyway!

Chase

Anonymous's picture

I am confused as to what you mean by a sexy edgy hairstyle. Can you give some examples? How long is too long? And what constitutes a boring haircut. So far all I have to go on is what i see with male models hair. But what are specifically sexy haircuts?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

It's on my list of articles to write! Guys have been asking about it for a while - hopefully I'll have it up soon.

Chase

Knight's picture

If you are familiar with Reddit and cannot wait until Chase has his post up I recommend viewing www.reddit.com/r/malehairadvice and reading the 'sidebar'.

Knight

anonk's picture

greetings Chase.

.studies have show that in relationships where the women is more attractive then the male they relationship last longer. But if studies have also shown that relationships where the female is smarter than the male is more ideal.

bearing these two studies in mind I read your quote on the boards stating "There's some research establishing that looks and intelligence are linked; essentially, the most successful males have generally been of above average intelligence, and the position, power, and wealth achieved through their success allowed them to take mates of above average attractiveness. Since women are attracted most to signs of intelligence in men (confidence, humor, resourcefulness, ability) while men are attracted most to signs of beauty in women (youth, facial symmetry, hip-waist ratio, butt/breast size), it makes sense that more attractive women and more intelligent men tend to end up together, leading to a mixing of attractive / intelligent genes (might also be why you see a lot of ugly dumb people, but not a lot of BEAUTIFUL dumb people)."

so if women are those mean of high intelligence then how would the relationships workout?

thanks again, I look forward to more frequent post:)

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anonk-

I haven't seen the research on women being smarter than men meaning more stable relationships, but it wouldn't surprise me.

Looks and intellect are two variables that are somewhat correlated, but not completely 1:1 related. I've met plenty of brilliant women who are ugly as sin, and plenty of beautiful women dumb as a rock. On average, though, beauty and brains tend to be positively related.

If the research is correct, though, and a relationship where the woman's more attractive than the man is stabler, and a relationship where the woman's more intelligent than the man is stabler, then you'd expect a woman in a relationship with a man she's more intelligent and more attractive than to have a stabler relationship, where the man is happier to be with her. The woman's also more likely to be in control, I'd guess, though control falls most commonly to the partner with the greater social and romantic experience - so I can still envision a scenario where she's smarter and prettier than he is, but he's more experienced, and hence in control of the relationship.

Chase

NeoPrince's picture

I wish I could have read this when I was 13, along with "Reactions vs. Results". Dominance has helped me so much. Before I always believed I must be hideous when I was rejected by girls, but now I see my mistake. I was such a pushover but I'm six foot one and handsome, In retrospect many girls were excited at first and soon enough they would turn grumpy and aloof. And most men would hardly give me any respect. That common joke that "If you're ugly, then your only hope is to be funny," made me a tryhard that was never sincere in his life because I thought all people were shallow. I never realized that just because most people shared laughs, it means nothing. You don't have to have funny jokes to be close, you just have to know each other's ambitions, and share some good experiences.

I remember that you once said people project their own thoughts on how the world is, I was superficial myself and wanted to be "cool" and was disgusted with other nerds and ugly people. I wanted to tell all those awesome jokes and make others laugh because I saw it as success and never realized it was empty validation. I would hate good-looking guys that in my opinion "got it for free and don't see how hard I am trying to just please get a girl to be amused and want me. I'll do anything, PLEASE????"

Now I think I understand how you convey sincerity and It's great. To me the principles are like this:
1. Say it proudly with your head up and a relaxed, yet powerful posture. Carry yourself like your principles are unshakable
2. If people are skeptical of following you, persist and insist calmly without desperation. Someone who sincerely believes he is right will stick to his guns when his boundaries are tested and persist, but at the same time won't get emotional and can walk away because he believes he is right.
3. Keep an open mind and find both merits as well as flaws in others, rather than focusing on merits to kiss ass, or flaws to put down.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

NeoPrince-

Indeed. A sense of humor is important, but most men take it too far. Even if you were ugly (which you know now you aren't), you'd want intensity and edge more than humor alone - like Mae West (of King Kong fame) has said, “A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.”

The points on sincerity look solid. Only one I might revise as you get this down even better is instead of saying things proudly, move to more matter-of-fact. People have an even harder time challenging something said sincerely and matter-of-factly (because the intimation is, "Well, of COURSE it's this way, duh!") than they do challenging something said sincerely and proudly.

Chase

Nick's picture

Hey Chase,
So I decided to have my friends go with me to a club in a taxi together, I meet some girls there and one girl takes a particular interest in me, we decide to go get a taxi to get a nightcap(owe you for that one), all my friends see me and decide to go with me for some reason to my annoyance.
So my three friends and me and the girl squeeze into a taxi. I notice the girl hurries to sit next to me before one of my friends does. So talking with her in whispers and suddenly she grabs my hand and interlaces her fingers and pulls it to her thigh. My friends for some reason have always look to see what I am doing and they notice. They then joke around about how I am definitely hooking up tonight right in front of her. I try changing the subject but they persist. She remains quiet the whole time and breaks the hand holding.
Finally I am able to change the subject but I am sure she got too self-conscious and then said that we just passed by her friends house, says she forgot she had to help her friend out with a favor. I tell her to stay for fifteens more minutes,we are almost there, bla bla . She hugs me and hurry's out of the taxi before I could muster up my charm and convince her to stay.
So, now I know not to bring my friends along, but just in case I was ever in that immediate situation or one similar what should I have done differently when my friends brought that up?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Nick-

Ah, that sucks. Yeah, with that one, when your friends are trying to cram into the taxi you've got to put your foot down - "Sorry bros, we're just grabbing this one the two of us. I'll catch you fellas next time!" and shut the door. They'll feel awkward, but you WANT people to feel awkward when they're being awkward... it's the only way they learn to cut it out.

When you find yourself in a situation where your buddies are saying you're hooking up with some girl or whatnot, call them out on it: "Do you mind? I'm trying to have a conversation here," and, again, try to make them feel as awkward as possible. Once it's happened though, you're fighting an uphill battle - not only does the girl feel unconscious, but your friends have inadvertently painted you with negative preselection... if you got laid a lot around them, they'd be used to it and wouldn't say anything. It's an attraction killer.

Best thing to do here is as soon as the girl leaves, tell your friends that if they ever cockblock you again like that, you're going to cut their tongues out and eat them for lunch. They'll say, "Geez!" but then the seriousness of what they've just done will sink in and they won't do it again (or else, you'll just get new friends who are used to getting girls and don't behave like middle schoolers around the opposite sex).

Chase

Gem's picture

Hey Chase,

This article got me thinking about something odd that some guys have (or at least say they have) that I can't quite understand. My roommate in college and several other guys I've known in the past say they are saving their virginity for marriage. Another example of this is a close friend of mine who has been with the same girl for 5 years now (a pretty long period of time for teenagers; they had their 2 year break and then got together again and finally the girlfriend drove my friend into having sex 3+ years into the relationship).

In addition to this (the important point to add here), none of these guys were religious in the slightest and when I'd ask why they'd say it's just a pride thing. Perhaps it is something about how much potential for getting sex that contributes to this? But I really don't understand what the true underlying issue is here and feel like there's more to it than meets the eye. What's the explanation/reasoning behind the issue Chase would you happen to know? Might be an interesting topic to write about I bet because I'm sure many guys know other guys who say and do this.

Thanks,

Gem

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Gem-

I can't say I've ever heard of a non-religious man saying he intended to remain a virgin until marriage as a point of pride. I don't know any culture that makes men feel "proud" for not sleeping with women... my guess is they're asexual, and find the idea of sex gross and disturbing. You might want to refer them to AVEN with an open mind and see how they react.

Basically, people who are asexual want relationships for the emotional aspect, but they have no interest in sex and prefer to abstain. They find sex a bizarre process that they can't understand, and think everyone else is kind of silly and animalistic for engaging in it. They make up approximately 1% of the population - they're a lot more common than you might think.

Chase

Pete's picture

Do you really find this correlation to be true? I have found cute girls to be the best. They've been given enough attention to value themselves, but are not so self conceited that they become ball breaking princesses. The hot chicks i have had, I have gotten over very quickly (albeit painfully). They think looks are everything and you end up holding the relationship. If sex is all you are after, then its a fair deal i guess. But as the testosterone starts to wade as you approach 40, you need something more. Maybe its just me...
Love your articles by the way...

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Pete-

Depends on whether you're looking for natural beauty or made up "hotness." I find that generally the hottest girls are not the most beautiful girls... e.g., the girls who are the best at making themselves have that "wow" factor and have really dove into mastering hair and makeup and nails and clothes aren't the most beautiful girls without all that, but rather usually somewhat cute but put in the effort perfecting their appearance as a means to upgrade the caliber of man they can get. I spent a fair bit of time training myself to ignore hotness and assess a woman's attractiveness purely on facial features plus body shape... it's hard. Your biology doesn't want to listen. But fashion you can teach or encourage. Hairstyles you can train. A prettier face or a larger bust size, however... nothing you can do about those except pick a girl who's got what you want even when you wake up the next morning and her clothes are on the floor and makeup's on the pillow instead of her face.

You'll also find that "hot" girls usually have personality flaws that make them somewhat undesirable as companions. Those are the ones you'll see become "ball-breaking princesses"; they get drunk on the power their learned looks give them and don't know how to handle it. There's also a self-esteem part to it; they tend to have grown up being subpar in looks, and always carry a chip on their shoulder around trying to prove themselves and their power and beauty.

Girls who are naturally beautiful on the other hand are tough in relationships, but they're usually often fairly stable mentally. For me, that's the ideal, tough + stable - girls who are too soft do not do very well in relationships with me, and girls who are too unstable crack very early on and are far more drama than they're worth.

I also select for education in girlfriends - I won't date a girl who doesn't have a master's degree or isn't in the process of getting one. A one-two punch of "must be naturally beautiful, and must have or be getting her master's" allows me to screen out all of the softer / less ambitious girls, and most of the loonies.

It depends a lot on a guy's disposition though - if you're more affectionate naturally, a tougher woman isn't going to cut it - it'll be too hard getting what you want from her and you'll always feel like you're chasing something you can't quite get.

If you're more like me and you're usually more occupied with whatever projects or endeavors you have going on, to the point of ignoring the people around you, then you need a tough-minded woman who's going to fight to get more time with you... the ones who don't do that end up sitting in a corner somewhere weeping over how neglected they are.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

How much can acne/skin condition affect your looks level?For example if. Your an 8 in the looks department,does having acne and scars drop you down to to a 5?Ive had people tell me that acne scars can make you look more masculine,is this true?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

I didn't have any knowledge on this myself, so I dug this interesting bit of research up. From "Facial scarring enhances men’s attractiveness for short-term relationships," published in Personality and Individual Differences:

It is widely thought in Western societies that facial scarring has a negative impact on attractiveness. However, the specific effects of non-severe facial posttraumatic scarring on third party perceptions of attractiveness are currently unknown. Here we show that non-severe facial scarring can enhance perceptions of attractiveness in men but not in women. We report the results of asking 147 female and 76 male participants to rate the attractiveness of unscarred opposite-sex faces and faces that had been manipulated to exhibit photorealistic scarring, demonstrating that scarring enhances women’s ratings of male attractiveness for short-term, but not long-term, relationships. Men’s ratings of female attractiveness were unaffected by scarring. Though the reported effect is small, our results suggest that under certain circumstances scars may advertise valued information about their bearers, and that the idea that scarring universally devalues social perceptions can no longer be assumed to be true.

So, according to this research, scars will help you take girls to bed more quickly, and won't hurt or help you either way when it comes to long-term relationships.

As far as actual acne (red bumps, whiteheads, etc.), I don't know and haven't seen research on it, but if you want to reduce acne one unconventional tip (that Franco, our moderator on the discussion boards, recommended to me, actually) is to quit washing your face with soap, which clears away the oils needed to prevent your pores being clogged by dirt and other assorted grime, and only wash with water.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

I don't know if you've heard the quote:

“The attiude dictates that you don’t care whether she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean whatever happens, your toes are still tappin’. Now when you got that, then you have the attitude.”

But I'm aiming for a Devil May Care attitude. And I would appreciate some insight on your attitude as far as badboy/alpha/dominant.. Ect.

Since mindset effects your outlook which effects your actions I think it's something to definitely touch on.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

I have articles up on these and a bunch of related topics:

... though I think you're looking for more of a, "What are the thoughts going through your head / what are the actual emotions you're feeling," sort of piece, if I'm reading that right - more a "how to think" than a "how to behave" write up - that right?

Assuming I've got the gist of it down correctly - I'll add it to the post queue. It ought to be an interesting piece to put together.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

I've been reading your articles every day for a while now, and I notice people view me differently, in a good way. I've changed quite a bit recently as a result. We went on a school trip recently and the prettiest girl in the class started flirting with me quite vigorously and I did everything as advised on the page. This felt awesome, since the rest of the girls in my class also started seeming more attracted to me, (preselection?). The prettiest girl is however VERY popular with other guys, and she flirts a lot with others also, and I know she puts out fairly often. I really want to bed her, and graduation time is coming up, which equals a lot of partying, drinking etc. and where I live, sex is highly encouraged at this time. Do you guys have any advice on which articles I should read thoroughly to make this happen?

Thanks!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Great to hear the progress you've been making, and props on catching the pretty girl's eye! If you have her in class, you might want this article:

Cute Girls in Class? Stop Flirting and Start DATING

... though, in your case, since there are plenty of partying and drinking and what not going on, you'll probably find this one the most useful:

The Secret to Hooking Up with Friends

I'd also suggest reading this one, since it sounds like you and her are still young and you'll be partying hard - and drinking too much can be as much of a threat to you getting together as drinking too little at this point (one of you gets drunk and sloppy / passes out / etc.):

Sex and Alcohol

And... best of luck with her (oh, and don't forget about the other pretty girls in class too - while every guy is competing right along with you for #1, #s 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 are all going to be rather lonely...)!

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase, I really enjoy all of your posts and hard work to help out us guys. It has done a lot for me. I was hoping you could post an article related to taking two or more chicks to bed simultaneously (threesome, foursome, etc.). Maybe you could give a bit of insight how to go about it or list certain scenarios. If or if you have not been in a situation like that, anything would help. Thanks very much.

Austin's picture

I am extremely impressed by this article, especially your incorporation of Gladwell's theory. How much time would you say you spend in the field versus time spent looking for research? Also, what is the verdict on what looks really are? Are you saying that men's looks are only loosely a function of facial proportions? Because facial proportion is the only property of male attractiveness that you cannot change (without invasive medical procedures).

Austin

lucifer7's picture

I have to say that the part that mostly piqued my interest is the one about you going out at nighttime just trying to pick up girls at night in the streets.

How really "easy" was it?
Were you mostly moving around your neighborhood?
How did you invite them home after only a few minutes^
Were they a bit tipsy, and alone?

I've honestly rarely seen hot girls alone walking the streets at night..

lucifer's picture

Hey Chase,

Honestly, you seem to equate "looks" with just facial features but it's much more than that.

To me, the most important element in looks is actually height.

And if a pretty face doesn't count *that* much, it gets much tougher pulling "dominant" when you're smaller than the girl -though of course, not impossible, and it would even be that much more impressive when it happens-.

NX's picture

Hey chase,

Right I am an 18 year old black guy and a virgin. I'm in this situation where my friends, girls and everyone I know in general are starting to doubt me as a man. They want me to prove to them that I can get a girl (in bed) which I know I can but I subconsciously don't at least try to. I've spoke to 5 girls in the last 3 years and I got to the friend zone with most of them and the rest have been taken. In my head I see a girl and I automatically think she isn't good enough for me even though I've never had a girl in bed. I believe it's a pride thing I seem to barely talk about topics like sex around friends because I'm that guy in my social circle that a non sexual type of guy even though I know I'm not like that. What do you suggest is my cause of action. I always so I'm going to wait until I meet a perfect 10 then lose my virginity but is that the right mindset to have?
Cheers chase

Sunsol8's picture

Chase -

Thanks again for another impactful article. Not sure if this comment will be read because this article is a few years old now but I would just like to add that I do believe there is a general baseline attractiveness which i believe is having a fairly symmetrical face. All my friends who do well with girls are appealing to the eye because their face is symmetrical. I think men with setback chins/weak jaws/ perhaps even noses that are too big for their face are at a serious disadvantage in the attraction part and I think it will be much harder to get a girl enchanted or dreamy for you....having to work much harder on maintaining your physique and verbal seduction because of your facial unattractiveness. I think getting plastic surgery if your face is lacking much in symmetry might be something to seriously consider like getting a new wardrobe or haircut. Maybe worth writing a piece on as more and more guys are having it done. Keep up the good work brotha! - san diego jerry

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