Sexuality Game, Part II: Word Wizardry
This is Part II of Drexel Scott’s series on sexuality game. You can read Part I here:
Before I begin this article, I want to tell you guys about something absolutely fascinating I heard the other day. I was speaking with my coworker Brian, and he told me about this amazing book he was reading online. He was telling me that in the first paragraph, the author of the book wrote,
“As you continue to read, focus on the message and pay close attention to what I'm saying, you may… become aware of the stark contrast between the black letters and the white screen. As this contrast becomes more and more interesting, you may find yourself suddenly able to place your attention on your breathing. When you begin to pay attention to how you're breathing, notice the rise and fall of your chest as you continue to inhale and exhale. And as you notice your breath, you may begin to… feel a slight movement of your head.”
Whether you were able to notice what just happened and think about how I led you through that process, I want to make you aware of how Ericksonian language patterns work. There's a lot to them, and it can often be confusing at first. But if I were to ask you to… imagine yourself, a week from now, suddenly able to understand how they work, and looking back on this article as the beginning of that new understanding, how would it make you feel to know you had learned so much that you could begin to incorporate such patterns into the way you communicate?
Let's take this chunk-by-chunk. It's the only way to begin to make sense of what can seem like a brand-new way to think about language.
The basic idea is this: you want to capture and lead the imagination of your audience.
In order to do so, as I mentioned in my article on NLP basics, you need to have a goal in mind. You need to know where you want to lead, and want to end up, so that you can take the other person there with you.
Since the goal of being able to capture and lead a person's imagination is to elicit an emotional state, you need to first choose the state you'd like them to be in.
Step 1: Choose a State
In the quoted paragraph at the top of this article, I wanted your close attention. My desired state for you was thus, one of focus.
Having chosen my desired outcome for you, my audience, I needed a way
to get you there. Now sure, I could simply have said, “Pay attention!
But when you command people directly, while it can certainly have an effect on some, it can also cause a resistance in others - particularly those who do not respond well to direct commands. In order to get my message across to as many of you as possible, I chose to use another tool in the language pattern arsenal.
Step 2: Create and Embed Commands Which Lead to That State
If you were to scroll back to that quoted paragraph, and take a close look at the opening sentence, you might three different commands ambiguously weaved into it: “Continue to read,” “focus on the message,” and “pay close attention.” Since I hammered you with them in quick succession, and they made contextual sense in the nonsense book that my nonexistent coworker Brian never read, I was able to get you to do what I wanted, and follow my lead, without ever letting you know what I was doing.
As that paragraph continued, I led you through several more commands… about noticing a contrast, about breathing, and that Hail Mary at the end about your head moving slightly. Once I had your attention and you were following my lead, having created a state of focus in you, I knew you would continue to follow my commands and I could continue leading you through that little demonstration.
When you create commands, begin them with a “command word” or a “command phrase.” Some examples:
- Pay attention
- Begin to
- Become aware
- Continue to
- Start to
When you look back at that list, can you notice how commanding such
words and phrases are? Quite direct… are they not? As I mentioned,
can build a high chance of resistance in your intended audience. Which
is why, to soften them and lower the resistance of your audience, you
need to use…
Step 3: Weasel Phrases Before the Commands
When you put one of these in front of a command, it softens the blow, so to speak, and allows the command to “slip into” the sentence without coming across as forceful.
- As you
- If you can
- If I were to ask you to
- It's not necessary to
- If you were to
- What's it like when you
- Would you
So there's your formula thus far: knowing your desired outcome state, create commands that lead to it, front-loading them with a weasel phrase.
If I were to ask you to read this sentence twice, to look for weasel phrases and commands… you might do that right now, or maybe you'll finish this sentence first and then read it again.
Okay, I'll stop.
At this point, you may find yourself able to have a better grasp on what language patterns are made of than you did before you read this article. And that's great! You may also be wondering, “What was up with Brian and that book he read? Why did you mention that stuff?”
Step 4: Quotes
Before I continue, I want you to think back to a time when you were young and really angry at your parents. I'm talking about really angry… maybe you didn't get what you wanted, or maybe they treated you totally unfairly. Either way, you may have been so furious that you just wanted to shout “Fuck You!” at them.
But you didn't, because you knew doing so might well get you in trouble. If you were a sneaky child, and wanted to curse at your parents and still get away with it, you might have said something like,
“Hey Mom and Dad! You won't believe what Bobby down the street just said. I was riding my bike past him, and he yelled… FUCK YOU!“
See what happened? You still cursed at them, but it “wasn't really you saying it.” You were quoting someone else (though you may have made it up at the time, as I did with the opening paragraph of this article). You “said it without saying it”; you were indirect and ambiguous… and yet your audience still heard the message loud and clear, in a way that preserved your plausible deniability.
That's the whole point of speaking in multilayered language! You get your message across while reserving the possible defense that you didn't really send it in the first place.
Here are some examples of quotes you can use:
- Something another person said to you
- Something an author wrote in a book
- Something you saw on TV
- Something that happened in a dream
Now by this point, some of you may be thinking about all these little language parts and tools and realize that a female friend of yours, or your mother, or a girlfriend, has done something like this to you in the past.
You're right! Women are absolute masters of indirect communication, and they use this stuff ALL THE TIME.
Have you ever had an experience, where a woman threw a bunch of words at you, which may or may not have made logical sense… but you still found yourself doing what she wanted you to do? And then afterwards, thought to yourself, “Wait a second… how did she get me to do that?”
Guys… this is how! They are experts at multilayered, plausible deniability language and effortlessly use the tools I've described to you here!
So now that I've shared some of most important tools with you, so that you can begin to create your own language patterns based on this information, let's go through an example from start to finish. Let's say you want a woman to feel attracted to you… not only have you come to the right part of the Internet, but I'm also going to show you a way to create this feeling of attraction out of thin air that probably never occurred to you.
So we have our chosen state, right? Attraction. Since we've chosen the state of attraction, we'll need to describe what it's like, using quotes, weasel phrases, and embedded commands to create the state.
Let's start with a command. Feel. We want her to feel attraction for us, so we go with “feel attraction for me” as the command. Now, if you can imagine yourself saying to a woman, “Feel attraction for me!” If that image was ridiculous to you, well… I agree. That would never work, because that's not how emotions operate.
So let's add a weasel phrase, from my earlier list. Weasel Phrase + Embedded Command. Maybe that looks like, “If you were to feel attraction for me.” Can you notice both the weasel phrase and the embedded commands in that sentence?
Now we add our quote… let's say it was “a dream we had last night.” So we're going to create a character from that dream, who used the sentence fragment “if you were to feel attraction from me.”
Once that's all done, we'll need to describe the state as well, which is to say, we need to explain the various parts that make up an emotional state (visual, kinesthetic, auditory).
With all that in mind, we might create something like…
“You won't believe the kind of dream I had last night. Out of nowhere, this beautiful woman walked up to me, wearing a midnight-blue dress, with long, flowing blonde hair. She walked right over to where I was standing and asked me the oddest thing, in the most pleasantly soothing voice. She said, 'If you were to feel attracted to me, what's the first thing you'd notice beginning to change in your body? As you look at me and feel this attraction, you may notice that your breath is becoming more rapid… or perhaps you can feel the blood beginning to pump harder through your veins, as your vision narrows it's almost like the world around you becomes more and more blurred, as my face in front of you comes more into focus, until I'm all you can see in the picture. And as you continue to focus on my face and experience these exciting feelings, maybe you begin to get certain thoughts, images and feelings that just make you go… ..mmmmm.'”
Using some of the tools I've described in this article, I just typed that off the top of my head. I don't necessarily encourage you to use this pattern, so keep in mind it's just ONE EXAMPLE of what you COULD say. This is true for every pattern you've ever read… it's an EXAMPLE!
The real trick and test of your skill is to practice doing this so much that, like me, it becomes second-nature to you and you can just riff like this with almost anything. By the time you're done with something like this, anyone following your lead is going be tranced-out and staring at you as your commands sink deep into the unconscious, the seeds plant and practically water themselves.
I do encourage you to read this article - over and over again - because I understand that this is a TON of new information, and you've probably never thought about language quite like this before. As you re-read the article and begin to practice coming up with your own patterns, use this as a reference tool and for bonus points, post some examples in the comment section below for myself and others to comment on. Start small, and work your way up - just like learning the scales of music, or building the foundation of a house.
Notice to Bad Guys: this doesn't work the way some of you are probably thinking it might. The intention of using this type of language in seduction is to use ambiguity and linguistic skill in order to create desirable, wonderful feelings in women. They LOVE to feel good, just like we do, and this is just one option for making women feel great in a way that they will appreciate as especially skillful. This is NOT about getting people to do things they don't want to do, and again… doesn't work that way. It's not mind-control; it's leading the imagination of people who WANT and LOVE to have their imaginations stimulated in such a way.
And remember the most important rule of NLP: You go first. What you create in others, you experience in yourself. So make sure to be ethical, and you can continue to feel good while spreading that vibe to other people in a way that benefits everyone.
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