I've been around for a while. As such, I've seen, checked out, or least been peripherally aware of most of the different companies and styles that have gained any sort of popularity over the years.
The intention of this article is not to critique or advocate any particular one, but rather to examine the two different camps that many - if not all - fall into.
Those two camps are:
- Value Game, and
- Sexuality Game
We'll kick off this article with a look at each.
Camp 1: Value Game
The core tenet of Value Game is just that - to attract a woman by displaying high value, or status. This is typically done by showing off dominant social skills, charm, charisma, and ability to make people like and respect you as an individual.
The basic idea is that women are attracted to men of high social value, and you'll get no argument from me on that. It is very much in their best genetic interest to attract the highest-value mate possible, to have the best chance of ensuring the survival of any children the two of them may have together.
Keep in mind, we've been evolving for hundreds of thousands of years as a species. A few decades of birth control have no chance of rewiring what we're built to seek out and respond to. When a man and woman feel attraction for each other, it's because each individual is giving off signs that they would make a solid pair-bond (whether it's true or not).
There are endless resources right here on this site for how to play the Value Game; you can learn to dress well, build a better body to display genetic fitness, make and maintain social circles, and so on and so forth.
It all works, certainly.
But then there is another, less-discussed type of Game that works just as well. There is certainly overlap, but for the sake of this article, let's assume they're different and work in different ways.
Camp 2: Sexuality Game
As opposed to the idea of attracting a woman who through high value and status, Sexuality Game is based on the ability to give her the feelings she wants and make her horny for you. This can exist completely independently of high value. Before I continue, allow me to draw up a comparison of two individuals on the extreme ends of the spectrum.
On the one hand, we have Value Man. He's well-connected, wealthy, well-dressed, and in great shape. He has great social skills. He attracts women by just doing his thing and letting them flock to him because they are chasing his value and dreaming of what it could add to their lives. He's not that great with flirting, and doesn't give off much of a sexual vibe - but then, he doesn't really need to. His status carries him through the game and women will chase him all the time.
On the other hand, we have Sexuality Man. For the sake of this comparison, let's say he doesn't own nice clothes, can't afford a gym, and why not - he's homeless too. He moves constantly, doesn't have a real social circle and has literally zero connections in his community. However, what he does well is use his words, voice, vibe and demeanor to literally get women wet throughout a conversation with them. For some reason women actually feel themselves getting aroused when they speak to him, and dream of what a great lover he must be. Certainly, if he can make her feel this way just with his words and vibe alone, he should be able to do a whole lot more with the rest of his body!
Women don't chase Sexuality Man per se. He approaches. He opens. But a few minutes in, women can't wait to go home with him to enjoy the kind of experience they imagine he is capable of giving them. They might not do it unless he knows how to close… but they want to.
I hope that comparison helps to show the difference between these two fundamental styles of Game. In summary, Value Man is chased for his value. Sexuality Man chases and conquers. One is chosen, the other chooses.
If you've read a lot of pick-up literature, or tried different products, you may be able to think back to some of those right now, and easily recognize which camp each piece of advice truly falls into: chooser, or chosen. Besides helping everyone put some advice they've heard into a new perspective, I also want to discuss some of my favorite ways to play the Sexuality Game.
The main idea, as I mentioned, is to get her to see you as a Sexual Prize - a guy she'd have a great sexual experience with, because he knows what he's doing. Now sure, most women are well-attuned to recognize the vibe of good lovers, by their body language, eye contact, how smooth they are, etc. In addition, a great set of verbal skills can come in quite handy when seeking to present yourself as the Sexual Prize.
This will apply more to very verbal, highly talkative guys (like me). So here are some ways to use your verbal skills to get women horny.
#1: Rich Descriptions
When I say "rich description," I mean the ability to describe things in alluring detail, full of sensory words. A man who sees all the little details, and can appreciate them, is going to be alluring to women. You can do this with pretty much anything, and I encourage guys to practice doing so with objects they may consider boring in order to expand their vocabularies and really get a sense of how to use rich descriptions.
For example, let's consider a flower.
You could simply say, "I like flowers." In this case, you are telling her something about yourself, but not really explaining why or what's appealing to you.
A man describing richly might say something like, "Have you ever seen a flower bloom under one of those slow-motion cameras? It's truly fascinating… what begins as rigid and closed, slowly begins to blossom. In those videos, we can see how as a flower begins to warm up, it becomes softer… it opens up… the petals peel back to reveal the beautiful treasure locked inside. As the heat begins to spread, the flower becomes more its true form, curling… blowing in the wind… coming into its full beauty as the dewdrops stream down the petals and bring their rich, vibrant colors to life."
While such descriptions can sound cheesy, these engage the sense of imagination - a woman's biggest sex organ. It can help to use such descriptions with "ambiguous sexual" things as well, such as the aforementioned flower. If you use the right vocal tonality while doing so, women will actually get horny listening to such things. I once did this to describe a blanket I had, and the girl I was speaking with said, "What are you doing to me?!"
I highly recommend incorporating rich description into not just your speaking style, but your text game as well. When you're sexting with a favorite lady friend, describe HER this way, her clothes, the way her body moves, etc. Be sure to engage as many senses as possible: touch, sight, smell, taste and sound if possible. The more senses, the better.
A man who can capture a woman's imagination with his words, can capture her heart and body just as easily.
#2: Sex Talk
The reason I say it applies more to social circle game, is that if you have many female friends, it is all but inevitable that at some point you will discuss sex, dating, and relationships. Having experienced opinions on things like good sex vs. bad sex, rough sex vs. soft sex, and new-partner sex vs. old-partner sex will paint a picture of you as an experienced, nuanced lover who knows what he likes and is somewhat hard to please. This is all good, and makes you the Sexual Prize.
This can be somewhat uncomfortable at first, unless you understand that women love sex and love to talk about it almost as much. I don't know if you've ever heard a group of girls talking about sex, but man, do they get graphic with it. Join the party and it actually makes you seem normal, which is also a good thing.
Remember, girls don't want to sleep with PUAs necessarily - they want to sleep with normal, masculine, confident, sexual men.
As I mentioned earlier, you can absolutely talk about sex with women you just met, and in fact I do this all the time. However, you cannot simply jump into the topic without triggering her alarms, so it's a good idea to create a conversational context in which talking about sex is OK. Some of my favorite ways to do this are to use "conversational transition points," or bring up topics which naturally lead to the topic of sex.
For example, if you're talking about books, you might ask what she's read recently. If she's holding up her end of the conversation, she'll ask you back once she's answered. At that point, it can be useful to mention that you just read the most fascinating book, which of course was 50 Shades Of Grey or What Do Women Want? or My Secret Garden. If you haven't read those books, by the way, I recommend checking out the latter two (50 Shades is unreadable for most men).
Let's say you just read My Secret Garden, by Nancy Friday. When she asks what it is, you truthfully tell her that it's a clinical collection of the secret sexual fantasies of women who are bored with their sex lives. That it's about the kinds of thing women think about it all the time, but are afraid to mention to their partners because they don't want the men to feel as if they're not enough for her.
Then, pick a favorite fantasy from that book and richly describe it to her. Not only will she need a towel under her jeans by the end of the description, but this opens up a vast array of potential conversation topics and questions, by which you not only demonstrate that you're "on the same team" as women sexually, but you can also learn about how incredibly dirty she really is. Trust me, she has fantasies. She wants to talk about them and act on them. But she's not going to do so for just any guy; she wants a guy who understands where she's coming from and above all, won't judge her for them.
Be that guy!
Or let's say you're talking about movies. Did you just see Eyes Wide Shut? If so, an understanding of the movie and subtle mentions of how real life is different in certain ways, can make you seem like a very understanding and decorated member of the Secret Society. ALL women are part of the Secret Society, and they will only discuss it with you and take off their social mask once they know that you are a part of it too. Otherwise, everything you say will be met with "I'm not that kind of girl" and "good women don't do that." It's smoke and mirrors, guys - they all know what's up.
Or maybe you saw Don Juan de Marco, the awesome Johnny Depp movie about a Spanish lover who goes around the world seducing its most beautiful women. A simple question like "Have you ever met a man like that, where it seemed like his only purpose was to satisfy women?" can open the door here. If she has, deep dive about it and get her to talk about the experience.
Before I continue, I want to explain something: I see nothing wrong with talking to women about former lovers. Making fun of bad lovers, while mean, can be a great way to paint yourself as a good one. At the same time, having her describe her experiences with fantastic lovers is another great tool. Why is that?
#3: Understand How Emotional States Work
Milton Erickson, when he lived, was the foremost hypnotherapist in the United States (and possibly the world). His entire style was indirect, with ample use of imagery and metaphor. One of his most powerful discoveries was this:
“The best way to have someone experience a certain state, is to have them remember what it was like before and vividly reimagine it.”
Those of you familiar with Speed Seduction maybe recognize this as pretty much the entire premise of the system.
So back to what I was saying earlier. When you can get a woman exploring her memories for wonderful sexual experiences, always asking questions to get her to imagine them in detail, she is going to get horny right in front of you. I'll never forget when I first started playing with this idea, and would try this on pretty much any attractive female I was having a conversation with.
I was at a friend's house, and used the Don Juan transition topic to get her thinking about great sex from her past. I could tell it was working, because her eyes were getting wet, her skin was beginning to redden, she started playing with her… all while I literally sat there and did nothing. She was just talking and turning herself on, right in front of me, while I barely said a word besides occasional prodding and asking for more details.
She got lost in it and, much like the blanket girl from years later, caught herself at one point and said "Stop it! Why are you making me so horny?"
I wasn't. She was making her so horny.
Because I had set up the conversation properly, introduced the right topics, and asked the right questions, now I had a girl wetting herself in my presence. Who do you think is now anchored to those feelings and sensations? The guy from her past? Or the guy whom she's looking at, whose voice she's listening to, as those feeling get so strong they overwhelm her?
As you can see from examples like these, this is the polar opposite to Value Game. I offered these girls nothing. No social status. No fun parties to invite them to. No cool car to drive them around in. Just me and my words, displaying an understanding of female sexuality and then its application by doing it to them (or having them do it to themselves).
This is what pure Sexuality Game looks like. It's just you and her, sitting by yourselves, having a conversation in which she gets progressively more aroused. That's it. You focus on her feelings and pay close attention to her responses, in order to guide her to where you want her to go.
Now sell your Ferrari, and start making women wet instead.
The series continues in “Sexuality Game, Part II: Word Wizardry.”