Mutual Escalation

Mutual EscalationToday I am going to discuss a very simple concept that will make your physical escalation smoother, more efficient, and much more powerful.

I am sure the concept won’t sound like rocket science. And I am sure that some experienced players here at Girls Chase probably do this unconsciously, but I’d still recommend they read this post, in order to become aware of what they’re doing.

Others have probably thought about this concept but have only rarely used it in practice, as I seldom see it used by men out there.

Either way, this concept is VERY simple. Beginners, intermediates, and pros will all benefit from learning about it, and I also believe most men will be able to pull it off (as long as you manage to “simply escalate”).

I will call this concept “mutual escalation”.

Mutual Escalation

Well, here’s the thing; it’s very simple to explain:

Once you escalate physically with a girl (e.g. touching her), instead of only focusing on her, you make sure she focuses on you as well.

This basically means that instead of you only touching her, you need to make sure she is touching you just as much.

In other words, she needs to touch you as much as you touch her.

Most of the time, when I see men out there interacting with women, it’s all about her. The man only focuses on her, trying to win her over, escalating by touching her everywhere.

If you ask me, this just sounds needy. Doesn’t it sound much smoother for two people to be touching each other, rather than “him touching her” only?

Now, for the one million dollar question: “how do I make her touch me?” Or, another way of putting it, “how do I make her escalate on me?”

A little later, I will further explain why this works and all the benefits of following a pattern of mutual escalation instead of following a one-sided one.

How Do I Make Her Touch Me?

I am sorry to disappoint you, but there is no fancy magic trick to make a women touch you and go crazy on you.

Sometimes it happens, and you’re lucky – and cheers for that.

Yet, most of the time, women will not make a move on you. You, as a male, are supposed to be the dominant one. In other words, you are the one who is supposed to make things happen. That is part of who you are, and that is what women find attractive about you.

Mutual Escalation

Women, on the other hand, are known to be the submissive ones. They are passive and sexually receptive, unlike us men, who are active and sexually aggressive.

So women are, biologically speaking, not likely to make a move. It does happen, of course there are exceptions to the rules (and what I just said about men and women are generalizations of course) and women can also become very sexually aggressive when they are ovulating, but usually it’s not likely they make a move.

But on the other hand, as we have covered multiple times, women don’t feel allowed to be sexually aggressive because, whenever they are, they can be perceived as promiscuous, i.e., loose. In such situations they might even risk being slut-shamed, which basically scares them away from acting out their true sexual natures in public. This phenomenon of concealing their true natures to avoid social shaming is often referred to as women’s “anti-slut defence”.

So, in other words, not only are most women not built to make a physical move, they also lack the permission by society to do so.

However, we can still make women touch us. How?

It is very simple:

You take a girl’s hand and make her touch you. It is really as simple as that.

Basically, you grab her hand and put it somewhere on your body. The ideal thing to do is to make her escalation on you work in parallel with your escalation on her.

This means that whenever you touch her shoulders she should touch your shoulders (in other words, you grab her hand and put it on your shoulder), and when you touch her legs you make her touch yours.

The purpose here is to make your touch synchronized with hers.

Why Does This Work?

Well, first of all, you are leading her. It is you who grabs her hand and puts it somewhere on your body. In this case, you are truly leading the interaction forward. Dominance is an attractive trait.

Further, it removes the guilt from her, as you are being persistent.

Women, as we know, feel a lot of guilt for being sexual toward men (“what if I am being seen as a slut?”). By “forcing” her to escalate on you (which you are somewhat doing as you grab her hand and put it on your body), she will feel and be telling herself that it isn't her fault for anything sexual happening between you and her. The reason being is that you made it happen, you were the one putting her hand on your shoulder, knee, belly, cock… she wouldn't do it unless you made her do it, which you did.

Interestingly, women, as we know, fearing the “slut” label (ASD – Anti Slut Defence), still can rationalize their way into acting sexually as long as they aren’t the guilty ones. At its most extreme, this can lead women to make fake rape accusations. So again, the rule of thumb here is to keep your eyes open and look out for her limits – better safe than sorry.

Important note: Do not just grab her hand and put it on your crotch. As mentioned earlier, you need to mirror her touches with the ones you give her. In other words, the escalation she does on you (her touching you) must still follow an escalation ladder, exactly like you do on her.

Using this Technique to Test for Compliance

Another cool thing about this technique is that you can use it to test for compliance. If you put her hand somewhere on your body and you release it, and she keeps escalating on her own, you will find out that she is willing to invest in winning you over. She is willing to cooperate, which is a strong sign of attraction.

If she doesn’t, on the other hand, she might not feel ready yet. In such a case, do not worry, you can take a step back and try again later! You can read more about this in my earlier posts about escalation.

Why Mutual Escalation?

There are a few reasons this is to be preferred over the one-sided standard escalation:

#1: It Enhances the Escalation

Mutual EscalationObviously you will escalate more efficiently if you are both touching each other instead of only you touching her. Cooperating with someone for a simple task will make you finish it much faster (and oftentimes the work will be better done) than had you worked alone.

Not only do you get horny from touching her, but this is enhanced by her touching you, which makes you even hornier. Being horny is good as it puts you in a sexual state, which women more or less will sense, as it will affect your vibe (behaviour) toward them.

It will affect them in a good way – they might get horny too. This is called “state transfer”.

Further, not only does she get hornier from your touch, but the fact that she is touching you will also make her very horny.

In other words, it makes the escalation far more efficient.

#2: It Creates an “On the Same Team” Vibe

Also referred to as the “it’s on moment”, which basically means that you are creating a vibe between you and her that says there is something going on between you. In other words, it creates a form of sexual tension (it takes two to create sexual tension).

This is a very strong form of rapport, where she will be more comfortable around you because the frame isn’t: “you are the creepy man making us touch each another,” but instead “the sexy dominant man who I am having something going on with.”

Chances that she will object and resist your escalation attempts will decrease drastically, as she is also escalating on you. She is no longer challenging you; you no longer have to work your way around to get her, because you are both working on each other. She will be less defensive because she feels that special connection between you and her. In other words, she will feel far more comfortable.

#3: You’re Viewed Less Needy

This last point, that I have so far only indirectly mentioned, needs some attention.

Escalation is, most of time, if not always, required in order to get a women from attracted to wanting to have sex with you. It is a requirement for making things happen between you two.

Yet escalation is also tricky because you often reveal a lot of your interest to her, which might risk (especially when it comes to young women) giving her a sentiment of power, leading her to, sometimes, start to tool you.

We know that women do enjoy the chase; that, in other words, they enjoy wondering whether that hot guy they are interacting with is into them or not. It creates a sense of mystery, as you become a mysterious man who they can’t exactly figure out. Which again, is attractive.

Also, there is a risk that you become perceived as needy when you start escalating. What if she gives you resistance? Then you start escalating even more and you end up becoming yet another needy man hitting on her.

This problem does not get fully solved by mutual escalation (I have covered on earlier occasions how to handle situations where you meet resistance), yet it helps you out a little.

It first of all minimizes the chances for such resistance, and when resistance does occur, it tends to become less heavy than if you would have escalated the “classical way”.

The reason being that you aren’t the only one chasing (i.e. showing interest), in fact, now you are both chasing each other, which is good because, though you are touching her, she is touching you back, so neither of you becomes the prize or the chaser. You are both on the same page and the power balance becomes equal between you and her. This is also a good thing.

Mutual Escalation Recap

In this article we have covered that mutual escalation is more powerful than standard one-sided escalation.

The reason being that it not only creates a vibe of mutual attraction (the “it’s on moment”/ “we are on the same team” vibe) but it also enhances the power of your escalation.

Your escalation will become smoother and more efficient.

But beside all this, it also makes you come across as dominant and some of her anti-slut defence (her defence mechanism again being labelled as a slut) will be reduced because you are being persistent, i.e., taking the guilt away from her, as you are the one making her move.

This form of escalation can also be used to test compliance as you can put her hand somewhere on your body. If she keeps it there and starts escalating on her own, then you know she is in for the kill.

Now, I will recap how you make her touch you:

- You take her hand and put it somewhere on your body.

Mutual Escalation

It’s that easy!

Until next,


Alek RolstadAbout the Author: Alek Rolstad

Alek Rolstad launched his pickup career at age 14, an early starter and seduction savant. His unique style of game focuses on “sex talk”: a way to make sex the primary topic of conversation. Sex talk lets the user excite girls rapidly, and filter for girls open to fast, raunchy, kinky one-night stands and sex. Alek plans to offer phone coaching to students of Girls Chase soon… Just as soon as he can find somewhere to hold phone calls on sex talk and threesomes where he won’t be shocking his roommates.

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Sam2's picture

Nice article, Alek!

I have been using mutual touch without being aware of it whenever I felt that the girl was not participating enough in the escalation process.

However, whenever I took her hand to place it on my neck, head, or face I felt that I was becoming needy.... As if I was begging for her touch. The girl would keep her hand there for a minute or so and then pull it away.

My question is...could the girl think "what a loser, he makes me touch him because I don't touch him myself" or is this just a mind game in my head?

Keithcid's picture

Obviously, I'm not aleck, so you can take my word with a grain of salt.
I think, like everything on this site, it's all about balance and limits. You can't go up the escalation window--mutual or otherwise--unless she is comfortable on a "lower level escalation". Likewise, if there is resistance, then simply pull back, then rinse and repeat.

The reason I jacked your question though was to amend it a bit.. In hopes that aleck might chip in, too.
Is there a limit to where this should be done; or rather is there a certain point in mutual escalation in which you should not be directing her hands where you want it to go, but she starts automatically mirroring you? If there is, then can you share your experience about it, and what the most efficient way for you to get there is? And likewise, if it is permissible to keep directing the girls hands (I.e. a passive girl) as long as you don't see resistance even though some time has passed and she is not taking innitiative? I hope this one gets a part 2..

Anonymous's picture

I think the techniques here work with only a certain level of experience on the woman's part. If she is experienced, she won't need or ask for help. She knows what she wants and how to get it. Try a married woman, you'll see what I mean.

If she has no experience, she may or may not be comfortable touching a guy no matter what, but it doesn't mean she doesn't like to be touched. It may be that she doesn't know what she is "supposed" to do. If that is the case, give her some leeway to be comfortable so she is not self conscience. For a zero experience girl, it is all about making her comfortable, and some will really tighten up in a bad way if they are not. In any event, the guy is still dominate! She is about to discover a new part of herself and she needs help to do that. The sex will be lousy anyway until she releases her inhibitions and gets the hang of it.

It is the minimally experienced girls where this technique will come into play because they are seeking permission.

Marty's picture


Very simple question.

Would you do all this only in a totally secluded location (e.g., your place)?

Or could you start it already in the date location (e.g. a cafe)?


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