How to Stop Overthinking It and Make a Move | Girls Chase

How to Stop Overthinking It and Make a Move

It is a common problem: you didn’t make a move and now you are stuck between a rock and a hard place where the girl loses interest and things start to fall to pieces.

make a move

So how do you keep that from happening?

Simple: you make the move.

Maybe that seems like a too-simple answer, and maybe it is, but if you can’t make your moves work when the occasion demands you do, then why sit around convincing a girl that “one day” you will be able to?

The truth of it is that if you can’t get it working at the start, you will usually be left with only one direction things can go: downhill.

If you can’t make up a good move on the spot, you probably won’t come up with a good move later... you’ll just linger around wishing you did something and get into a destructive thought loop that will stop you from making up a new move that would work.

The secret to not overthinking making the move is to realise that the action is first won in the mind before it is acted out confidently in real life. And it is won in the mind by establishing a habit of action. And if that action doesn’t exist, then it is won by having nerves of steel, and hopefully a creative spark that will take you somewhere.

Cody LyansAbout the Author: Cody Lyans

Girls Chase’s resident “man of mystery”, Cody shows shy, quiet guys how to turn these traits into assets. Girls call his style “cool and calibrated”; he’s adept at smoothly meeting girls everywhere from the beach to the dance floor. Cody prides himself on versatility, and specializes in both fast (~20 minute) hookups, and slow, sensual seductions. Book a phone coaching session with Cody today to learn from him directly.

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Comments

Anonymous's picture

Hello,
I want to share something about your writing style.

I find it really hard to read because it is full of some metaphores or unnecessary words and parables.
Whole structure seems off. You introduce some concept and then another without any real "mind bridge" and then it seems like 3 different topics. Tangibly, the trust part. Trust in what? In whom? My experience tells me that I am nervous because I am not sure. If you meant this, you had stated it very badly. Also you title this "how to stop overthinking and make a move". What is a MOVE? How do you define it? For someone, it can be saying a compliment. For somene it is showing interest, for other one it means actually moving her like getting phone number, being on date and then move her somewhere else so you can go somewhere "not public".

Also, you seem not to understand it completely or you are just unable to explain it. Because "What Makes It Hard to Make a Move?"
is overthinking - yes, but then "being uncertain about actions you should take" said hopefully in your way of saying with weird combination of unnecessary words plays its part too. And by that, I mean not only knowing what to do, but also what will happen after. Certainty can handled by preparedness, that is the "knowing what to do". Feeling in control can be done by knowing what will come next, because you have the experiences with these situations. Like if you invite her home, you know you will have to handle her "protests". But no, you mention only one part of that equation - overthinking.

Also, you lay down some 3 steps and then, you go ranting about some stuff without actually laying down it properly. On introduction of these steps you say that it is about "managing our mistakes". What mistakes? I had to read that twice to realize that for you "analyzing is a mistake" so now, you use this pronoun (mistake) and think we all understand that. A common word used so much that you give it a meaning without any acknowlegement. Then you go to your "steps": you clean the basement, and you don’t make mistakes at a million miles an hour, you slow down, and take things a step at a time – not jumping ahead into infinity where you buy a puppy together. What the heck is clear the basement? What things? This is what I meant by metaphores. The "second one" almost as horrible. Third one is basically saying in your hard-to-understand way that it is not black or white. And then some sauce around it making it less understandable again.

You dont seem to be able to explain the concept of things.

The only thing worth taking from this article is that "pace and reward" part. Not entirely but the message is more visible. Yet, you introduce it with only one general sentance with your "time packets" and then go on your example again. You dont say that you need to slice your whole interactions into parts. Like light intro part, flirtatious part, bonding part, flirt part again. And connect it with her responses (not just words but body language, mood changes) and adjust by changing these "parts".

I dont really want to waste my time on whole article, this is what came to my mind now but when I was reading I found it so badly structured ... I think you should give your articles to read to people who dont really think about these things. Maybe you assume that people understand what you mean. But as I said, you keep doing some core mistakes in all your articles. I think there was none that I felt headache after I read it. And it is the wrong, confused type of headache.

Martin

Gentle_Phrases's picture

Perfect timing here, mate. I was just thinking about a few approaches that went well or wrong thanks to this.

Nice actionable stuff!

Anonymous's picture

Hello Chase i have few question.
1.When i enter a group and dont know 70% of them what should i do? How to do a proper meeting? Also what to do next? U told in one of yours articles that a man shouldn't move to the girl first rather than make her to come to him first. So what is the best way of behaviour in the group u dont know well.How to open this girl's in a group for instance in a home party. And if i should be speaking with everyone how to do it properly.

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

Here's a couple articles on meeting girls in groups.

Meeting Girls in Messy Situations

Meeting Girls in Groups

Let me know if these help.

Take care,

Just Dave

BBJW's picture

Hey Dave,

Got a question here. Any advice on making moves on girls who are very reserved? As a highschool kid I've dated girls who have never even kissed a guy before. Generally they are less receptive to physical intamacy. Any tips?

Thanks bunches,
BBJW

David Riley's picture

Hey BBJW,

Those are actually the simple times because girls are very inexperienced at that age, but very curious. I recommend getting her use to your touch gradually like hugs and touching her during high points. When you're alone with her or more isolated, you can ask her if she's ever kissed a guy. Depending on her response you can tease that she might be a bad kisser. Now the important thing here is not to over do the teasing. If she's very reserved you will have to pace things with her, you will have to warm her up. You have to get feeling romantic feelings toward you. Look into her eyes and notice her body language.

If you notice she's tense call her out on it, say "You look kind of tense, you should relax a bit." When you call things to a girls attention you will take notice of it. Reward her, "You're a lot more interesting when you're relaxing." Another tip is talk to her about things that interest her. When you get a girl talking about something she's very passionate, she'll loosen up. When you try and make a move and she claims you only want sex just say, "I'm not that easy." You just took her fire, and now the balls in your court. She'll realize that you're the one chasing her. One of the most important tips I can recommend is not be too pushy. I remember girls telling me all about guys in my school who made a move but was too pushy. If you mess up she will tell people. No pressure though, the biggest thing to do here is if you tell she's getting uncomfortable, stop. She will respect you way more.

Take care,

Just Dave

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