How to Make Her Want You: Lessons from Marketing
Wednesday, 20 June 2012
If you're like most guys, figuring out how to make her want you can feel like a full-time job. But if you look at people who have similarly-veined full time jobs in their own right, you can make making women want you go a whole lot more smoothly, and a whole lot more easily.
Take marketers, for one. Marketers have always fascinated me…
They really have the art of persuasion and influence down to a *science*… and that’s exactly what mastery of any skill should be:
A marriage of both art and science.
By way of an example, look at picking up girls…. There is the art, the intuitive part of game… the calibration, the spontaneity and simply being creative in the moment. Your right brain does all that.
But there is also the scientific aspect of pickup. From psychology and biology, we know a lot about what women want, and a lot of behaviors can be predicted – and even triggered – quite consistently.
It’s no different with marketing.
These guys *know* that if they spend x dollars on persuading people to buy their products, then they will make y dollars in profit… and they have SCIENTIFIC ways to make sure that pays off.
At the same time, it’s also an art… marketers are creative, artistic and innovative… they have to engage our EMOTIONS.
Marketing, influence and persuasion have a LOT in common with the human mating game.
The big difference between the two, however, is that people have been taking a SYSTEMATIC approach to marketing for about 100 years longer than they have to dating!
They’re a little bit ahead of us…
So let’s see what we can learn from them!
Lure and Temptation…
I remember when I first bought a book about picking up girls. The guy who sold the book was obviously not only good at meeting women, but also at persuasion… his sales letter made the book sound really intriguing.
I just *had* to find out the secrets he promised to reveal in his book… secrets about getting women turned on, about avoiding rejection, about getting the first kiss, about making a girl want to sleep with you and even fall in love with you.
But most of all, I was thinking… heck. This guy really did a good job of making me want his stuff! If I can only learn *that* from him and nothing else, and then apply it to dating… I’ll be golden!
And that’s how this works…
Walking up to a professional model that you’ve never met before, on a street corner out of the blue… and then convincing her to have sex with you hours (or sometimes minutes) thereafter… that is the gold standard of persuasion, if you ask me.
Let me see anyone who hasn't spent hears honing his abilities persuading women pull that off.
And this is VERY doable… I have done it dozens and dozens of times… and so have many other seducers I know.
I mean hey – if a corporation can persuade people to spend a ton of money on a bunch of rolled up dried leaves that make their breath stink and kill them of cancer… surely we can persuade a girl to let us pleasure her to climax!
That is the frame you want to come from when you're mastering how to make her want you… never think about sex as something you *get*. It is something you *give* to a girl… simply because she is going to experience TEN TIMES the pleasure you are.
Or have you ever heard of a guy screaming to wake the neighbors and tearing a pillow apart during sex?
Right; didn't think so…
In fact, if you frame it right, you can even get girls to wine and dine you in exchange for the sexual pleasure you give them, and steer clear of one of the biggest dangers of dating altogether.
Marketing Your “Sexual Services”
So if that is the product we have to offer, we OWE it to the women of this world to market it well, don’t we?
We wouldn’t want them to miss out on that… it would be SELFISH of us not to give them all this pleasure.
So let’s look at pickup from that perspective…
When we talk about customers in marketing, there are essentially three things we need to do:
- Lead creation – we need to put our product in front of people in order to find those who might be interested in it
- Lead conversion – we need to get these prospects to actually buy the product
- Customer retention – we want to keep the customers coming back for more
As a rule of thumb, a customer is worth ten to fifteen times as much as a prospect. Not only that, it is also ten to fifteen times easier to create the same amount of revenue from a customer than from a new prospect.
With pickup, it is essentially the exact same thing – there are, again, three essential things we need to do:
- Lead creation – we need to go out and approach girls in order to find those who might be interested in us
- Lead conversion – we need to meet up with these girls and actually begin a sexual and/or romantic relationship
- Customer retention – we want to make a good enough impression on these ladies to keep them coming back for more
As a rule of thumb, it is ten to fifteen times easier to sleep with a girl again that you’ve already slept with, than it is to approach a stranger and get her to sleep with you … provided that you’re good in bed (that's tomorrow's article).
And while it is often more exciting to sleep with a girl you’ve never slept with before, simply because of the thrill of exploring each other and letting the sexual tension build up until you finally devour each other for the first time… it is probably a good idea to build up a little “portfolio” of your own.
A black book of phone numbers that you can call up at any time…
In fact, I would say if you’re only doing one night stands, it might pay off to become a little bit more picky and start choosing girls that are beautiful and interesting enough for you to want to see them more than once!
(By the way, for more about “customer retention” when it comes to sexy girls, check out my article about how to date multiple women)
Filling the Funnel
Have you ever had a dry spell before?
I don’t think there is any man in the world who’s never experienced that in his life… it happens.
But if you understand the laws of marketing, you can prevent it… there is a fool proof way to ALWAYS have a never ending stream of dates lined up… heck, if you have the free time for it, you could be dating a different girl every single night of the week with this method. Once you know how to make her want you and keep her moving through the process, getting a girl to come see you regularly is child's play.
What’s the secret, you ask?
Keeping your lead pipeline filled at all times!
You simply cannot rely on the one, or even two, phone numbers that you got yesterday. In fact, even if you have ten phone numbers, the ones you don’t convert to physical relationships quickly will become useless within about two weeks.
Let me walk you through my “marketing process” real quick…
Let’s say I want to ramp up my dating life, and increase my options…
I will go out several times a week. At least twice, but four times is ideal when you’re practicing, and also when you’re refilling your pipeline.
Personally, I only do day game, so I’d go out in the afternoon and talk to an average of ten beautiful girls per day. Let’s say that five of those are going to give me their numbers.
On some days I might get seven or eight numbers, on other days it might only be three… that will depend on a few things we discussed in the article with tips to help you sleep with girls.
But I’m always going to put a couple of new leads in my funnel… that much is a mathematical certainty once you get the fundamentals down. It’s simply the law of averages… so you better go after the most beautiful ladies you can find and get three of those, instead of three average looking ones!
I’ll then write these three to five numbers on a sheet of paper, and just keep doing that. After going out a couple of times, you will have a whole A4 sheet of paper full of phone numbers of stunning girls.
How's that for a souvenir?
Emptying the Funnel
Empty the funnel?
That’s right… you collect numbers quickly, and you eliminate numbers quickly as well.
Studies have shown that the best sales people in the world have only two traits in common: they qualify the buyer better, and they build trust faster.
We’re going to talk about trust later, but the qualification bit means that they don’t waste time on leads that are unlikely to close anyway!
Uncle Pareto is going to yell at you if you keep chasing down the 80% of girls who are currently happily in a relationship, or who are really not interested in you for whatever reason…
Sort through them quickly and find the 20% that are going to be really into you!
Again, you’ve only approached beautiful girls, right? So these 20% are all going to be stunning!
So text every girl once and ask her what her schedule is like this week.
If you don’t hear back, text her once more… if it’s still radio silence after that, you cross the number out.
You get a lot of numbers really quickly with this method, so you want to sort through them quickly as well, in order to find out which ones are likely to go somewhere.
In fact, you should burn through this whole A4 page pretty fast and sleep with at least one to two new girls per week if you do so.
That’s four to eight new girls in bed per month!
If you combine that with a solid date management system where you also focus on “customer retention”, you will be in sexual relationships with 18 girls after 3 months.
Which may sound ridiculous and hopefully fantastic, but is, like everything in nature, rather just a simple property of mathematics. Do the numbers and make it all work, and it works.
If this is not your goal, by the way, you can still use this method to achieve whatever your specific goal is for your dating life.
This method is so efficient at finding the girls that are a good match for you and getting involved with them that you could even find a wife that way if you wanted… and do it quickly.
How to Make Her Want You: Magnetic Marketing
I assume Dan Kennedy probably holds a trademark on this term, but I’m going to go ahead and use it anyway since I’m pretty sure he has never talked about it in the context of dating 18 beautiful women at the same time.
And when I say magnetic, I’m talking about a nice side effect that comes from having so much abundance…
It instantly KILLS any neediness you may have deep down in your psyche!
You know… a lot of coaching clients I take on would be able to solve a LOT of their sticking points by getting rid of the underlying CAUSE.
- Are you calling girls too often? You’re probably feeling an unconscious neediness…
- Are you nervous before the approach? Again, feeling a bit needy without even being aware of it is probably the reason.
- Are you fumbling the close… afraid to pull the trigger? Same thing.
If you keep your funnel full and then qualify your leads quickly… if you build your dating life by doing the math and playing the numbers intelligently… you will have the life of a Sex God 60 days from now.
And it will be physiologically impossible to feel needy at this point… which will automatically break the back of a lot of your supposed “outer game” sticking points as well.
And make sure you do that with beautiful girls ONLY.
When I say play the numbers, I’m not talking about whaling!
“Thar she blows!”
…not so much.
Go after the GOLD my friend!
Why's this, exactly?
Well, here's the thing about abundance mentality: you can reach the point where you feel like it's no problem getting WOMEN, but you feel like it's a HUGE problem getting QUALITY women.
And then, basically, you've just wasted a lot of your time.
So instead of going out to get just any girl - which will leave you back at square one the instant you start pursuing the women you actually want - start going for the kind of women you want off the bat.
The final element that makes an excellent salesman and marketer is that they are able to build trust QUICKLY.
Now, how could you do that?
The short answer is, if you really want to make her want you, be trustworthy! Really be authentic in your communications and interactions, and women will pick up on the fact that you’re being completely honest and open with them… and they will trust you.
If you try to lie your way into a girl’s pants, the karma goblins will bite you where it hurts while you’re still inside those pants… you can be sure of that.
But if you communicate from your core, from your true purpose and your true desire, without leading her on about your intentions, you will be surprised how many women are open for just about any ride you want to take them on…
In fact, I can’t remember how many times girls have told me that they APPRECIATE that I’m so honest with them.
It’s like a breath of fresh air to them…
They KNOW I’m not the guy to introduce to their mum… they KNOW I won’t rent a tuxedo and buy them flat-pack Ikea furniture. But they also know that they can live out their own sexual fantasies without having to worry about consequences, or about being judged by anyone.
They quickly pick up on the fact that I’m open minded… and that I don’t kiss and tell.
So honesty is the first way to build trust… it’s the royal road to better relationships, no matter whether you want to be with her for a few hours or for a few decades.
The second thing you can do to bond with girls faster, the way top sales people do with their prospects, is to share DEEPER things about yourself.
Instead of telling her about your accomplishments like she was some HR Manager interviewing you for a cubicle position, tell her something you did when you were still 5 years old.
Instead of name dropping and talking about the famous guy you met or the big shot rich dudes you hang out with, tell her a bit about your family, your siblings and even your grand-parents.
And instead of talking about cars and computers… two topics girls really care as much about as you do about lipstick and eye liner… talk about the dog you took care of when your neighbor went on vacation.
These topics give you depth… they make you human… they make you three dimensional and real.
And that’s what we’re all starving for… even the girl on the cover of that magazine.
A real connection…
Make that mental and emotional connection with her, and SHE will make the physical connection FOR you.
And then you'll see what the best salespeople and marketers all see: once you've got it figured out how to make her want you, you can run those processes almost on autopilot - and everything gets a whole lot easier.
Onward and upward,
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