How to Have Public Sex (And Not Get Caught)


public sexHave you ever been walking through a park with a girl on the first date, and thought about how amazing it would be to take her right then and there… but then kept on walking?

Or, have you ever been out shopping with your girlfriend and thought about getting frisky in the dressing room… but then did nothing?

Well, what if I told you that these were only two of the handful of places that I’ve had sex out in public? And what if I also told you that you could definitely do the same?

And, what if I told you that it was easy to have public sex, without getting caught, as long as you handle your logistics?

Well, that’s exactly what I’m telling you.

Today I’m going to outline a process for having sex in public: how to have the fun, without any of the trouble (well, at least the bad kind). Let’s get to it.


public sex

For those of you who have done it out in public before, you know that public sex is some of the most exhilarating and satisfying sex you can possibly have. This is because:

  • It’s a great change of pace for a stagnant relationship

  • It’s thrilling, which biologically heightens your arousal

  • It makes for a great story

  • It can make your girl see you as unpredictable

  • It can help you if you’re not the best lover yet

Years before I stumbled upon the seduction game, I was fascinated with the prospect of public sex. My first kiss was in a room just feet away from dozens of my unsuspecting friends. My next few sexual encounters came in parks. And by the time I had a couple relatively solid girlfriends in high school, we were having sex in amphitheaters, schools, and pretty much anywhere else that seemed fun or adventurous.


Girls Fantasize About Public Sex

I’ve asked many girlfriends, casual hook-ups, female friends and complete strangers about their opinions on public sex. And what I’ve found is that no matter their level of timidity, experience, conservativeness or religion: every girl admitted that she has either fantasized about sex in public, would like to try it, or has already done it.

It’s no secret that women love sex. But why do they seem to love the idea of public sex so? In having many of these conversations, a lot of the things that I heard were statements like:

  • It would be scary

  • It would be a secret that a guy and I could keep between the two of us

  • I like the idea of avoiding getting caught

  • It would be a welcome change of pace in my sex life

  • It would be a new life experience

These statements pretty much cover the compendium of answers I’ve received over the years. Interestingly, the women aren’t particularly focused on the sex itself. Nor do these answers suggest that the sex itself would be any better than normal. But what they are focused on is the feeling associated with the sex. They are focused on:

  1. Experiencing something new,

  2. Building a bond with their lover,

  3. And, feeling the rush that comes with doing something slightly “dangerous.”

And understanding these factors will help you understand the process of public sex.


The Thrill of Danger

When I was in my last semester of college, a few of my friends and I decided that we wanted to sneak into the campus buildings and do things that could get us in serious trouble. These were things like:

  1. Bring a keg into the library (and drink it)

  2. Have sex in the art gallery or dance studio

  3. Play Beirut in a professor’s office

… and a bunch of other wonderful ideas that we threw out at the time. Now had we done each of these activities in past? Had we drank from a keg, or had sex, or played Beirut and/or other drinking games? Absolutely. But… we, like so many other people in this world, succumbed to the allure of that powerful wildcard ingredient in life: danger.

People love danger.

From a scientific standpoint, when a person is in a state of arousal, the body gives off massive amounts of adrenaline and dopamine. That’s what gives you that “rush” feeling when you’re really attracted to someone, and that’s why you feel so happily energized. Your body is rewarding you putting in the work to be in a position to have sex.

public sex

Likewise – and interestingly enough – when you’re scared, your body gives off massive amounts of adrenaline and dopamine. The adrenaline kicks in to give you the energy to run or fight as necessary. And the dopamine rewards you for acting for your own self-preservation and running that one mile it took to get away from danger.

This means: your body can’t tell the difference between a state of fear and a state of arousal. This is the reason why people love scary movies. It’s the reason why people love roller coasters. It’s the reason why people can become addicted to scary activities. And it’s the reason why people feel strangely frisky after being scared:

85 male passersby were contacted either on a fear-arousing suspension bridge or a non-fear-arousing bridge by an attractive female interviewer who asked them to fill out questionnaires containing Thematic Apperception Test (TAT) pictures. Sexual content of stories written by Ss on the fear-arousing bridge and tendency of these Ss to attempt postexperimental contact with the interviewer were both significantly greater. No significant differences between bridges were obtained on either measure for Ss contacted by a male interviewer. A 2nd study using 34 males involved a similar field setting and attempted to clarify findings of Study 1. A 3rd study in a laboratory setting manipulated anticipated shock to 80 male undergraduates and an attractive female confederate independently. Anticipation of own shock but not anticipation of shock to confederate increased sexual imagery scores on the TAT and attraction to the confederate.

That’s from the 1974 Journal of Personality and Social Psychology paper “Some evidence for heightened sexual attraction under conditions of high anxiety.”

Basically, men who met attractive women on a scary bridge (vs. a non-scary one) had more sexual thoughts and were more likely to call her after, and men who were anticipating an electric shock to themselves were more likely to think sexy thoughts.

Future studies in this line of research (e.g., “Distinguishing arousal from novelty and challenge in initial romantic attraction between strangers”) have borne this out as holding up the same for both women and men.

So when you combine the “arousal” that you get from being scared, with the actual arousal of having sex… you get an overwhelmingly thrilling experience.

And that’s why women love the idea of having sex in public.

So if they love it… and you love it… let’s look at how to make it happen.


public sex

Just like any other kind of seduction, public sex logistics are key. You can have sex in public, but you can’t always have sex any old place you please.

But don’t worry, with proper planning, the world is your oyster.

I’ll split this process between a girl you’ve already taken to bed and a girl you have yet to take to bed.


Lover/Girlfriend Method #1: The Premeditated Approach

Public sex with a lover you’ve already taken to bed or with your girlfriend can be really exciting and relatively low stress, because the two of you can be co-conspirators and plan in advance. To make it happen, you just have to project the right energy and use your excitement to assuage any of her potential fears/hesitations.

And in terms of logistics, it helps if you already have a good place in mind to do the deed.

The conversation with your lover/girlfriend will go something like:

You: “Hey, Dominique, do you know what would be reallly fun?”

Her: “What??”

You: “I’m thinking… next time we go out…” [grab her and pull her in close] “we should have some fun in an adventurous place.” [sexy smile]

Her: “Ooohh… that’s an interesting idea.. But, what if we get caught??”

You: “Don’t worry about it. I know this great spot at the park. There are plenty of trees and people don’t really go there. Come on… I know you’ve always wanted to..” [manhandle kiss]

Once you put together your public sex plan, make sure to have all of the necessary equipment ready to go. That means if you’re going to the beach, make sure you bring a towel (don’t want any sand getting into places where the sun don’t shine) and condoms and whatever else you’ll need to make it happen. Nothing ruins the moment like a lack of preparedness.


Premeditated Approach: How to Not Get Caught

In terms of getting caught, you should first and foremost understand that the punishments are almost never severe. The fear that most people experience from the idea of having public sex has much more do to with wanting to avoid social stigma, prevent damaging their social reputation, or from them just being victims of perceived social restrictions.

When I first began my foray into public sex, I was very devil may care – so much so that I was sloppy and got caught several times. I got caught by:

  • Security guards

  • School staff

  • Store employees

  • And even police officers

And you know what happened to me? Nothing. There were never any actual consequences. Just a little bit of yelling and nothing more. Once I realized this truth, I became much more emboldened in my desire to have more public sex.

You get caught having sex in a store? They throw you out. You get caught having sex in the park? They give you a scolding a tell you to get a room. You’ll rarely be in any serious danger for public sex. So, just arm yourself with this knowledge as you look to expand your sexual storybook.

But alas, this is about not getting caught. Even though there are usually no real consequences for getting caught, it does kind of ruin the mood when you do (but also makes a great story in its own funny way). So let me discuss not getting caught in the premeditated scenario.

Out of all of the scenarios of having public sex, the premeditated approach should present the least amount of trouble in terms of getting caught. This is because you really should do your best to scope out a spot beforehand.

Want to have sex on the beach? When is the slowest time? Where is the lowest concentration of people? You should take all of these factors into account as you make your foray into public fornication.

public sex

Also, despite the fact you probably won’t get into any serious trouble, you should understand what the punishment would be for getting caught would be.

As I mentioned in my article about Brazilian women, beach sex is all too common down there. And though you won’t see American beaches teeming with fornicators, I would say that a beach would present the least amount of trouble regardless of whether or not you were seen.

That being said, I thought I would compile a list of the best places to have sex in order from least to most risky.


Best Places to Have Public Sex with a Lover/Girlfriend

Since there’s already a high level of comfort between a lover/girlfriend and you, you can pretty much have public sex anywhere where the chances of getting caught are low/people won’t really care. In order of least to most risky, these are places like:

  1. The beach

  2. A concert

  3. The park/amphitheater

  4. A movie theater

  5. A campus building (for the college kids out there)

  6. A bar/club

  7. An alley/quiet street

  8. A large department store

  9. An airplane/train (getting increasingly difficult with stricter rules/smaller bathrooms. But, gotta love the mile high club)

  10. Your workplace (need a bit of preplanning or extra vigilance)

  11. The public room of a house party (only low on the list because it’s somewhere between public/private)

  12. Anywhere where you find some semblance of privacy


Lover/Girlfriend Method #2: The Surprise Approach

This is the riskier, but probably more enjoyable (for both you and her), approach to public sex. No matter where you are, this approach requires you to be attentive to your surroundings. If you’re outside, you have to see what’s around you. If you’re inside, you have to see the room.

But if you see an opening to initiate some naughty fun in public, you have to overwhelm your girlfriend/lover with raw sexual energy.

I was once at a department store doing boring clothes shopping with an ex-girlfriend. She was definitely the conservative religious type, but there was certainly a sexual animal lying beneath the surface that I got to experience when we weren’t in public. I felt like I needed to do something to spice up the afternoon. So I followed her into her dressing room. I was pretty casual for a minute or two, letting her strip down to try on new outfits.

Then I grabbed her, slammed her against the wall, and started making out with her. She protested for a few seconds, but I just upped the intensity and turned it into a much more memorable afternoon.


Surprise Approach: How to Not Get Caught

When you’re having pre-planned public sex, you can usually go all in and pull out all of the stops to have a phenomenal time. However, the surprise approach is all about subtlety. That means that you have to be prepared to pull out and go back to normal at a moment’s notice in the case that things go sour.

Keep it subtle by:

  • Keeping most of your clothes on and just sliding down any pants/sliding up any dresses or skirts

  • Making sure that she stays quiet

  • Making it a relative quickie

  • Locking a door or placing your hand/body against it (if applicable)

  • Keeping your eyes/ears out for any trouble

Taking these steps will greatly minimize your chances of getting caught, and will maximize your chances of having a great time.


Public Sex with a New Girl

Public sex is definitely easier with a lover/girlfriend simply because she will be a girl who wants and expects to have sex with you. With a new girl however, this may or may not be the case… unless you follow the right steps.

Having public sex with a girl you have yet to sleep with is all about setting the right tone. What I mean by setting the right tone is that she must absolutely see you as a sexual man. You could have the best logistics; you be trying to initiate some public sex in the smoothest way possible… but, if she doesn’t see you as a sexual man… it ain’t gonna happen. Public sex with a new girl lies entirely in the set up: in everything that happens before you try to sleep with her.

So if you want to set the right tone, you have to make sure to do things like:


You Have to Lead

public sex Another thing to keep in mind is that you absolutely must lead her. As I mentioned earlier, public sex is fun, but scary for a girl. So she’s not only looking for a guy she can have fun with, but a guy who will protect her when the chips are down. And the only way to give her confidence in that fact is to lead.

I recently sexually escalated with a girl at a park that’s great for late night extracurriculars. It was about a 15 minute walk from the place where we started our first date, and I had no intention of telling her where we were going. I just kept telling her “Follow me. We’re going somewhere fun.” Of course she was really curious and really wanted to know, but she kept following away. And when we got there, I escalated right then and there and we had a great night under the stars.

Afterward, she absolutely would not stop talking about how good of a time she had, how good of an idea that park was, and how she thoroughly enjoyed the surprise.

When you’re getting ready to have public sex with a new girl, you have to have confidence in the fact she’s about to have an unforgettable time. When you can be certain of that, you can lead her confidently to wherever you plan to escalate with her.

Also, it helps if you’re a skilled lover. If you can have public sex with her, and show off some of your skills, your abilities will prevent any sex regret on her part and will likely have her coming back for more.


Raw Sexual Energy

I mentioned raw sexual energy with the surprise escalation. But, it’s ten times more important with new girls. When you are out with a new girl, not only will her rational instincts be telling her not to have sex in some public location, they will also be telling her not to have sex with you at all.

A girl’s emotions and sexual drive are much stronger than her logic. Yet, the only way to get the emotional override is through projecting raw sexual energy yourself. This is because you’re the leader in the situation, and she’ll be following your cues.


Where to Escalate?

In terms of escalating with a new girl, these escalations tend to be the most creative and unique. Follow the same logic as the surprise escalation. But, remember that when you’re with a new girl, anywhere could be a potential sex spot. In terms of new girl sex, some of the most creative spots I’ve heard of from people I know are:

  • A tractor

  • The window of a jewelry shop

  • A go-cart

  • A haunted house

Among many others that didn’t make the list.


New Girl: How to Not Get Caught

Sex with a new girl is definitely the most risky. This is because in most cases your brain just doesn’t care. It’s in a new place, with a new girl, and it’s sexually aroused. These situations are definitely the hardest to control.

The best policy is to follow the steps of vigilance that I outlined in surprise escalation.

However, at the end of the day, you kind of have to throw caution to the wind.

You don’t have very much time on this Earth, so why not make the most of it? Give yourself some experiences you’ll never forget.


Public Sex Doesn’t Always Have to be Sex

When you’re out in public, of course having sex with your girl is ideal. However, there have been plenty of occasions where I just did something sexual with a girl in public (like fingering her at the dinner table). Sometimes it’s just not logistically logical to have sex in public.

So if you find yourself feeling frisky out in public but don’t have a good place to have sex, try to see if you can get creative and get sexual.


Wrapping Up

Public sex can definitely be one of the most exciting experiences you and your girl ever have. The fear, the excitement, the thrill, the bond… it’s all there. It’s a great way to lead off a relationship, or bring the spice back into one that’s been stagnating.

Just remember:

  • Bring the sexual energy

  • Lead her

  • Stay vigilant

  • Stay safe

And of course…

Carpe diem,

Colt

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Comments

"Bill"'s picture

Hi Colt. As usual, I enjoyed


Hi Colt.

As usual, I enjoyed yet another great article from you!

I have a question that has been cooking on the backburner for a while that, upon reading your article, is now boiling over.

You mentioned taking lovers and having sex, even in high school. When I was in high school, my parents forbade dating, instead demanding that I concentrate on my studies. You can start dating once you graduate from college, they would say. Like dumbasses, me and many of my peers listened and followed their well-intentioned but misguided advice. (I think at this point you are correct in discerning that I come from an Asian culture.)

Now I am in my mid-thirties with very little experience in the area of seduction and dating. Reading about everyone else's experiences, decades above me, makes me realize just how far behind I am. It seems that many of my peers of the same ethnicity are still in the same boat. For example, I have a friend who is a doctor in his 40's, still unmarried and lacking experience. Another friend committed himself to the psychiatric wing of a hospital several years ago due to his extreme shyness, growing depression, and suicidal thoughts.

My question is how do guys like us get out of this rut and start getting more experience? To give perspective on how scared I am, I have been "ill" for four years now, except the doctors and specialists haven't a clue what is wrong with me. I only recently came to the epiphany that my subconscious invented this "disease" because I would rather die than put myself out there to risk embarrassment at having girls discover my inexperience!

I am far from a sad pup though. I finally pulled myself out of the victim mentality and started taking accountability for my own life. I have been working on things I have control over, such as improving my fashion sense, body language, and confidence. I even got complements from friends that remarked I have somehow changed or that I appear more confident. But when it comes to actually leading women and bedding them, my insecurities come out and my nervousness show.

Perhaps this would make for a good Girls Chase article...discussing how men like me with little experience can make small changes and tweaks to start living the life they envision?

Thanks.

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