How to Go to Her Place Smoothly, Even If You Just Met | Girls Chase

How to Go to Her Place Smoothly, Even If You Just Met

go to her placeIn the post on how to pick up girls in bars and clubs, Kb asks, regarding bringing women home or going to their homes:

Cabbing works pretty well here, but it is not sustainable in my life right now. The night rates are astronomical and as a struggling college student who tries to go out and pull almost every night, I'd soon be living in the streets if I was cabbing every other night back.

So what I really need is a way to go back to HER place. I tried your "got any food at your place?" a few times and while it works with more socially attuned girls, most of the people my age(19) really aren't at that level and just see that as you trying to get free food.

I was wondering if you had any ways to suggest to her that you're going back to her place that while still subtle, will let a not so socially savvy girl know exactly what you are saying without coming out and saying it directly.

That's a great point from him on one of the downsides of the "got any food" question, and a good question. How do you go to her place?

And how do you do it... smoothly?

This article's here to answer that.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

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Comments

Balla's picture

Hey chase how does asking a girl if she wants to chill, or the nights to young to be over let's chill sound to a girl you just meet and had very little Convo with?

Thanks for the reply on my last comment but I don't think I saw a response for being a sexy friend? What I asked was basically what if you know girls from school or work? You say hi and bye to them and have convos here and there. Like your not close with them so you give them no value but you talk to them only when you see them. I can't make moves on some girls because my logistics aren't too good right now so I just keep it to hi,byes, and small talk, while being sexy and flirting. Tell me how being a sexy friend or sexy acquaintance sounds? Should I still be friendly to them or just be kinda cold and not engage with them at all until I want to strike so I won't provide value?

On the store thing... Man you have such a good memory to remember I asked that before. You have so much you do but you remember answering that while I totally forgot. My bad on my part. One thing I wanted to know about pick up in stores is if it's good to do it if you work at the store. Does that matter?

Two last quick questions. How do you pick up a girl that has her child with her?
How do you pick up with your friends are with you? I feel so much pressure to succeed and not get played in front of them. Tell me how can I get the pressure off and change my mentality? Thanks Chase!!!

Peace,
Balla

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey Balla,

If you’ve just met and haven’t talked much, I’d stay away from asking her to chill (save that for girls you’re already very comfortable and familiar with) and instead use one of the more solid proposals like grab a nightcap, cook some food together, or head to an after party.

Sexy friend – you’re okay so long as you stay away from too much deep diving and don’t over-invest your time or energy in them. Keep things light, flirty, and fun, and don’t give the girl any indication you’re about to make a move (so that she won’t get excited, then feel let down when nothing happens and go into auto-rejection and start treating you coldly). It’s fun to flirt, and nice to have some girls around who you always flirt with and never do anything with or plan to… see Moneypenny in the James Bond movies.

Stores – yeah, don’t worry about it. I’d be cautious about picking up at work – only go for it if you can tell the girl is VERY into you. Otherwise, you’re risking your paycheck, and that’s probably not worth it. You could always head over to other grocery stores (when you’re not in uniform, obviously!) and build up some experience there, and once you know what you’re doing in a store you can more confidently do some here and there in your own store.

Girls with children, treat it the same as a group – a little attention to the other person (a quick smile and a “Cute kid!”), but then back to talking to the girl. Friends… try and get excited about how impressive you’ll look to your buddies. If they don’t normally approach, even you walking up to a girl and getting shot down is going to be epically awesome to them – you’ll look like a hero.

Chase

Funman's picture

Hi Chase,

1) What is your opinion about inviting women to your place on a first date where you prepare a meal and a movie?

I am assuming a girl you met online or day-game may not be as receptive as compared to a girl you met in a bar and spent a lot of time with?

2) There is a lot of advice I have heard coaches saying tell the girls about your intent and show sexual interest, calling her sexy etc and that she is turning the guy on?
Would you verbally tell a girl that she is turning you on during the date?
Or would that make you lose the power/ frame?

3) Would you verbally ever tell a girl you want to make love to her? (some people say it shows confidence)

4) Quite often in the pick up community I hear the analogies such as if Brad Pitt invited her to his home on the first date/ or if Brad Pitt said that to her etc, would she refuse etc? The point they are trying to make is when the girl is not interested in the guy to begin with she does'nt allow him to get away with what she would allow Brad Pitt to get away with.

What are your views on that?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hi Funman,

The meal / movie date is often a very solid one. I talk about them (as “Easy Dates”) to an extent here:

Date Templates: Minimize Confusion Maximize Returns

You can set this up as a first date with any girl who’s very receptive to you and very comfortable with you. Gauge based on how she is with you, rather than the venue you met her in.

Telling girls they’re sexy / turning you on / you want to make love to them / etc.: this very much depends on your style and how you come across with women. The less like a guy she’d want to keep around long-term you seem, the more effective it is; the more you seem like a guy she’d want to keep around long-term, the more likely it is to not go as well. If you’re not sure where you fall, test it out, and see what kinds of results it nets you.

And re: Brad Pitt, my answer is sure, plenty of women would refuse. But many others would say “yes,” and it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with whether she likes him or not. Women who claim to dislike certain actors or musicians still sleep with them all the time anyway. Fame is a very big attraction switch that overrides a lot of logically-chosen preferences. I’d say those guys you’re listening to are making the point wrong; lots of women who don’t like Brad Pitt will sleep with him anyway if they find themselves with an opportunity to. Likewise, the best odds you’ll have of sleeping with women quickly are women who don’t really like YOU that much, too. “Liking” is far more conducive to women taking things slow with men and trying to draw them out so as to get a commitment out of them than it is to quick, speedy, throwaway sex.

Chase

Wes's picture

Hey Chase
Nice advice. I understand that it is possible to close with a girl in places other than your or her place but in the occasions when you're going to her place, a few things came to my mind about making it lead to sex. I mean its her kingdom, her place...its not like I could throw some clothes on a chair to keep her from sitting away from me. At her place how do you get the girl to get intimate with you. I'm not sure if there is a post on this specifically talking about her own place. But I can imagine more conservative girls trying to sit far from you or trying to hang out with you because they want to make you boyfriend material.
Actually, is the fact that they let you come to their place a signal that they do in fact want to have sex? I guess I kinda answered my own question...but regardless...how will you lead it. I remember the stuff about getting her a glass of water etc...

One other thing. Recently a girl in my social circle and I have been getting closer. We have all kinds of sexual tension going on between us...especially when we hug. Our hugs are wayyy longer than usual and we're squeezing each other pretty tight. With her I do these type of hugs where I have my arms around her back instead of her waist or hips and my chin rests on her head because she's shorter than me. (i love hugging short girls :D) i been wanting to kiss her forehead or something just to make the extended hugs less weird but I can't bring myself to do it (or really kiss at all) my mind starts thinking about the situation more and I just won't give in to the moment. Do you have any tips on this?
And I know kissing lets girls know that they have you but is it the same for kissing on the forehead?
Me and her are just friends with a lot of sexual tension and I don't want her getting some idea that I'm into her and want her as a girlfriend. I'd love to tap that though.

Peace,
Wes

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Howdy Wes,

You treat it exactly the same as you do at your place, in fact!

True, you can’t prepare her place to be more conducive to seduction, but you can still give her commands.

If she sits far away, you tell her to stop being weird and come sit closer.

If she’s trying to just hang out with you, tell her you want to watch a movie and lead her to her room and throw her in bed and watch it with her there.

Women coming to your place is not necessarily a signal they definitely want sex. More, it’s a signal that they’re open to it. But much of the time they still haven’t made up their minds yet – they just haven’t rejected it (in which case, they’ll refuse to come to your place / take you to theirs). You still need to convince them to have sex (by touching, kissing, being sexually arousing, etc.).

Kissing not on the mouth is okay before you’re alone, because it’s ambiguous. The girl doesn’t know if it means you want to sleep with her, or if you’re treating her like a kid sister. But you don’t kiss your kid sister on the mouth, which is why that one’s off limits.

If you’re trying to kiss her on the forehead but psyching yourself out, make it the very first thing you’re going to do – as you go in for the hug, kiss her on the forehead, then hug. When you do something right away, you have momentum behind you and it’s usually a LOT easier to do.

Chase

Wes's picture

Thanks for the reply.

That makes sense to kiss her first. I will try that from now on.
Oh, maybe i made a mistake in my question...I mean: Is that fact that she is letting you into HER place indicate that she wants to have sex? Its proably the same answer but just making sure.

studentofthegame's picture

Chase how does one handle and maintain relationships in high school.thanks

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey Student,

That's a very broad question. My answer is, it's the same as relationships everywhere else, except that things may be a little more difficult logistically (since you may both still be living with parents / may or may not have your own transportation) and emotionally (since it's new for both of you and you're likely not going to be able to control, direct, or even understand your emotions all that well yet).

Aside from that, we have a handful of younger guys on the forums who are pretty talented and experienced, and I'd expect they can give you better answers than I can, as they've actually lived it and done it (me, when I was in high school, relationships were still a pipe dream).

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase,
I read your article on how to be a sexy man and the one on facial hairstyles and a couple others. In one you say you fixed your fashion sense and the clothes you wear. Was wondering if you could share some insight on that.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hi Anon,

Yes, it's on the post queue. Don't worry, we'll get to it!

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Would love to see a post on adopting elements of the Byronic mysterious persona, too. Keep up the good stuff.

Jess's picture

Great article, very informative. I didn't even need to finish reading before I knew exactly what to say.
Cheers

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