Get Her to Say “Yes”: Excite Women and Beat Resistance | Girls Chase

Get Her to Say “Yes”: Excite Women and Beat Resistance

Today I want to share with a post on eliminating resistance through prevention, and freeing up the women around you to be excited by you.

excite women

I want to start out by saying... I’m the LAST person who should be writing this article on how to prevent resistance and actually excite women about saying “yes” (to everything you want them to say “yes” to) -- but the same thing that makes me the last person who should be writing it, also makes me exactly the right man for the job.

What do I mean by this?

As you may know from my previous articles (especially the one on weight loss for men), I wasn’t always exactly the most attractive guy around. I was overweight, unattractive, and the worst of it: I sucked with women.

Strangely, as I grew out of this, and started to refine my fundamentals, becoming progressively more “attractive” meant I started to have even more issues with women... not less.

I became less seductive, and had trouble getting my way. Women were flighty with me, and often trying to burst my bubble. Challenges from girls were around every corner, as if I were being given a pop quiz.. every 5 minutes. Auto-rejection was an ever-present threat, and I had my hands full trying to figure out why girls would drop off the face of the earth when they had just a day prior gave me many compliments. They were slow to move, and had trigger fingers when it came to throwing up walls of resistance to my advances.

These girls were clearly attracted to me; I knew this as the attention I was getting was nowhere near what I had prior to losing weight. Not even close.

But what’s going on here? It sounds like auto-rejection, but it isn’t really... It wasn’t so much that they were ejecting from my presence... but rather challenging it full force as if they had to. Like:

Me: Why are we having platitudes?

Her: We aren’t exchanging platitudes. Was that your word of the day? A little awkwardly used.

Erk... great job, Eric.

In this case, it wasn’t normal testing; and it wasn’t normal auto-rejection. It wasn’t either of those things.

What was it?

It was resistance, and as it turned out, I had been the one causing it. Often you’ve no doubt heard the phrase, “follow the path of least resistance.” Well, I was no stranger to the flip side of this concept... that is to say, taking things down completely the WRONG (resistance-paved) roads.

Today, I’m going to share with you my journey from unattractive, to attractive-but-failing, and then finally: suave... and I’m going to show you how to dispel resistance, not by dealing with it, but by cutting off the root of the problems that cause it to arise in the first place, so that you can excite women instead, and get them saying “yes” to you with relish and abandon.

Of course, you’ve got to be able to identify the symptoms before you can figure out what’s resistance and what isn’t - so that’s where we’ll begin today: with identifying the signs of a woman in resistance to you.

Eric ReevesAbout the Author: Eric Reeves

Eric Reeves is a member of the Girls Chase Forums and an occasional contributor to Girls Chase. His focus is on strategy, analysis, and power dynamics in social relationships.


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Comments

Hunter's picture

"Phone numbers are mysteriously disappearing after having them type it into your phone and leaving, or they seem to all have boyfriends."

So I am very curious here. I read on Postmasculine that girls who say they have a boyfriend, even if they don't have a boyfriend, are brushing you off and telling you they are not interested. That "I have a boyfriend" is not a test, it's rejection.

However, I'm seeing a girl right now who told me she had a boyfriend and yet we made out.

So what exactly is the "I have a boyfriend" line? Is it rejection, a test, a sign that you need to step up your game, a sign that you're coming off too weird or clumsy, or what?

Glad you mentioned that here. Cheers!

Author
Eric Reeves's picture

This one is hard to figure out, as it's never black and white. In general, here are a few reasons why a girl might use the boyfriend line:

1) She may be brushing you off (because she's tired, doesn't like you at the moment, doesn't have time, etc)
2) She's 'testing' the waters to see how you'll react -- not to test your social skills but to figure out your intentions (well probably both actually.. nice guys will throw their hands up in their mind and be like 'Great!!! sigh.." and it will be visible on their faces. Better guys won't be fazed)
3) She actually has a boyfriend

There are many many many other reasons for the boyfriend line, and I don't think it's too important. The more important part is results (which you've got).

For your specific case with this girl, she's probably just letting you know that she actually does have a boyfriend.

In general though, working on your 'game' let's you be hidden from these things, and more likely to unknowingly become a secret lover.

Ali's picture

Another great article that answers many questions! I actually may have a problem with being arrogant that will start working on now after reading this article. Halfway through it I got to the point where it says I should give half-ass advice. Now is this for everyone in life usually or just the girls I want to seduce( who I don't want to end up in their friendzone)?

Should I give (Less Half-ass) advices to girls who I have slept with already since the chances of getting friendzoned are much less?

Will usually giving half-ass advices bring up the social status and coolness?

Thanks a lot again Eric!
-Ali

Author
Eric Reeves's picture

Hey Ali, this one is tough.

Advice giving is a temperamental thing. On some people, giving straight up advice will push others to change, and the next time you see they'll have adopted what you taught. On others, this will likely cause resentment or resistance.

While telling one person they could lose some weight might work for that person, and they'll be motivated to change.. another might beat the crap out of you or call you an asshole.

What I mean by "half-ass" it is not the advice itself but the amount of effort given. It doesn't necessarily (directly) bring up social status, but it lets you get to the bottom of things.

Girl: I used to be fatter!
You: Fatter? Do you think you're unattractive?
Girl: Yeah I always had this insecurity *blah blah*
You: *silence*
Girl: But I'm going to change! Yeah! I'll start right now!
You: Good for you!

Directly you aren't raising your social status, but it leads to things like people trying to reach for positive reinforcement. They subconsciously figure out: okay looks like I'm not getting any positive feedback, maybe what I'm doing is wrong?

This would be much better than:

Girl: I used to be fatter!
You: You're not fat!
Girl: Thanks, you're so nice!

--- or ---

Girl: I used to be fatter!
You: Fatter? You can always lose weight.
Girl: Are you calling me fat?

You'll notice both responses to those are forms of testing, simply as a result of you commenting on her insecurity (either negatively or positively). Hence more unnecessary resistance. It also comes off more "real" and less pandering if you don't over-provide reinforcement.

There's a lot more to talk about this (maybe an article?), but generally you want people to work harder for your acceptance. Throwing around advice doesn't give them that chance, and thus isn't very powerful.

Likewise, giving out a lot of advice sets you up for expectations. This means that girl you're seeing will want you to take care of her decisions for her, and stop being independent (hello boyfriend territory). That doesn't mean you shouldn't though, and if I were in your shoes I would probably help them out (growth for my friends is more important to me than sleeping with them).

Another problem you need to be very careful with is that if you've been giving advice to a lover, and you suddenly start toning it down then she'll notice that. She'll feel like you're being cold / aloof to her so be careful.

- Eric

Jo's picture

If a woman is challenging you and you ignore it, isn't it possible that she wanted to see how strong of a man you are, and by ignoring her you "failed the test" by not putting her in her place? I sometimes get challenged by women and I personally think its because I come across as Not being too dominant too asshole mainly because i prefer to keep the peace rather than have drama. But sometimes I've found that girl has said or done something to piss me off, and I've tried ignoring their behavior and proposing something else to take our kinds off the drama, and with some girls the problem never goes away, they continue, they persist, as if to see how far the boundaries are of the bs that they can get away with. I've even tried socially graceful ways of putting some of them in their place all to no avail. Then once I get pissed then that's a different dragon to deal with. I've even told girls I see what their trying to do, and I'm not going to get upset...and they ignore and persist with bs! Why?

And I'm a blunt individual so when someone pushes me too far when I "discipline" them it comes across as being too asshole and therein lies the problem. I want peace! But some girls just don't seem to be able to keep it! A lot of this article places the responsibility of resistance on men and what we can do to head it off at the pass, but i also think that sometimes some females have endured too much pain/hurt over the years and as a result they self-sabotage romantic liaisons. Any word of advice in how to spot this kind of "resistance caused by the past" and how to defeat it or comment on if walking away is a better option?

Author
Eric Reeves's picture

Been here Jo, but it's not as it seems.

I'll address your second paragraph first, because it's rather important. I wrote a little on this about stress and stigma:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/stress-coping-techniques-stigma-stres...

I was stuck in the same mindset as you for a good while, 2 years or so, when I was somehow meeting all these girls with baggage (even dating girls who fit the bill for borderline personality). When I look back though, I think.. "well that was silly".

Everyone has baggage, it's just that I was getting better at having people spill their secrets to me without realizing it. I kept thinking... how am I getting together with all these "crazy" girls? My friends would make jokes about me being a crazy magnet.

It's a silly way of thinking. Everyone has problems.

It was only when I messed up or did something silly that caused resistance, and hence me thinking they had problems managing their emotions. The reality is that they just liked me a lot, and I kept doing things that make them feel insecure about being around me.

The more attention brought to the idea that they are the ones at fault, the more you're going to get of it. You mentioned "they self-sabotage romantic liaisons", but you've got to think more like "Hey, what happened here? What did I do wrong?". It's not something you need to 'defeat', or even comment on.

Questions and deep diving are better solutions.

I was on a coffee date with a girl, and completely out of NOWHERE she holds up her arm and shows me the cuts from the past on it. I simply said "Oh. Did you not enjoy your life?", and she started to go into her past. It was no big deal. I had to go meet up with a couple other girls right after but she was calling me every day after that to setup another date (booty calls).

If anything you should be worried more about attachment than "sabotage".

----

And for the first inquiry...

It's hard to say for you specifically, but in general ignoring it is better. It's another silly trick that women use to gain power over men.

It's a war of attrition.

The SECOND a girl (read: girl, not woman. Socially savvy women DON'T do this often) gives you a label "douche" and you respond to it, expect to hear it 2x more times later on. She will break you down eventually. She might even nickname you as the thing she used that you responded to. "Oh hey kido".

The intentions behind this article is how to fix this very problem. You cannot fix the symptoms, only the cause. Working on your fundamentals and social status is the way to go.

If you've got enough time to be playing in a war of attrition with a girl(s), then you have time to meet new women. Drop them.

Jo's picture

Thanks bro. One area where I know I need work is making women feel more secure (as opposed to insecure) around me. I get a lot of nervousness from them, and it's kinda interesting because I used to be nervous around women, now I only get nervous when I've asked them home and they say no and it's time to persist and continue to ask... I've come a far way! Reading the stuff on this site and understanding the back story, cutting thru the BS, reading btwn the lines, etc had helped tremendously. You guys are a gem. I just need to figure out how to spot nervous tendencies in real time and squash them, thus making myself more attainable but doing it in a way that doesn't make me seem like a pushover.

Anonymous's picture

Nice post. Eric on your post about labels I understood about how bad labels are ,but what kind of labels if any are good to use? Thanks.

Author
Eric Reeves's picture

I'm label-averse like Chase, but I'll look into getting a write-up on this. It's hard to cover, but it's on my list (queue?) of possible subjects to write.

Anonymous's picture

If I'm in school and a girl touches my butt how should I respond?

Andres's picture

Hiya Eric. This post has helped me but ironically I encountered the content here about a week after I read it. This is my example of buyer's remorse: The other day I found myself doing something I rarely do and that is trying to pull off a one-night stand after meeting a girl from OkCupid at a bar near her home. I had just gotten dumped in November so I did as this site suggested and started talking to new girls. Well this one had messaged me and when I met up with her everything was flowing smoothly. The conversations went great, I managed to go home with her back to her place after asking if she had any food there (I couldn't believe that line I read on here actually worked). I did as this site suggested and kissed her within the first ten minutes of being at her place and then I started to hit those walls of resistance I had never encountered before. I tried and tried to hurdle them and no matter what I said she was adamant about not going further with me because she "just met me." I tried telling her it was ok and to let us get to know each other better then but nothing. The next day she texts me saying that I was great to talk to but that I was pushy and a little too much for her. This baffles me because in theory according to this website, it is suggested to move faster and escalate things or face the friend-zone. Should I stick to what i'm doing and just assume this girl was a rare event? Or should I game girls more slowly and not try to score on the first date?

mansoor's picture

very nice

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