What to Text Girls to Get DATES
Monday, 12 March 2012
There is a phase that every student of the Art of Seduction goes through... and that is the FLAKE phase. This post is about what to text girls to get yourself through that phase... as quickly as possible.
You’re already advanced enough to approach women, get them interested in you and even to get their phone numbers… but they just don’t pick up the phone, answer your text messages or come out on another date with you!
This is one of the most frustrating experiences, because while you have the numbers of twenty beautiful girls in your phone, you might as well have none. They enjoyed your approach and seemed into you, but suddenly it seems almost impossible to meet them again, and they hardly give you the time of day.
I remember when I hit this plateau in learning how to seduce women myself. Now, I’m a real enthusiast when I want to learn a new skill (some of my friends might even say “obsessive”), so if I want to figure something out, I really dig my teeth into it until I have it NAILED. And I did the same with the topic of flakes, and text- and phone game.
How Come the Numbers Don’t Lead Anywhere?
I spent WEEKS doing nothing but going through all my journals looking for the best text messages I had ever sent to girls, to learn what to text girls to elicit the best returns.
I went through all kinds of blogs, techniques, products and forum posts about how to text girls and how to call girls.
I talked to all my friends who are good with women about it.
I built myself a magical toolbox of text message flirting: open loops, qualification statements, buying temperature spikes, attraction pieces, funny texts, false-choice double-binds, frames… you name it.
I collected all the best texts in one big spreadsheet and tested them SYSTEMATICALLY… one by one (if you’re a girl reading this and you got one of those experimental texts, I sincerely apologize).
I eventually perfected my “text game” to a point where, if a girl was going to be texting with me, it would probably be the most interesting text interaction of her life… and I mean that.
This post is about the results of my experiments, and what I found to REALLY work.
The Result of Those Experiments...?
You will probably like to hear what I found: It’s all BS.
None of the above is at all necessary.
Now, I’m the first to caution students against anybody who says that getting good with women doesn’t take a lot of work, and that it’s easy… success is certainly SIMPLE, but there are no magic pills in this game.
But you also can’t trick women into sleeping with you by writing a clever text message!
In fact, now when I have a REALLY good SMS exchange with a girl, it’s almost a red flag for me… because many of those I’ve had in the past didn’t go anywhere. Think about it:
- If the girl was really into you, she would just come out and meet up with you, instead of spending days and weeks texting back and forth.
- If she WASN’T really into you… a text is not going to salvage what you weren’t able to do when you had her RIGHT THERE in front of you… IN PERSON. When you had the advantage of being able to use body language and eye contact and vocal tonality and a million other little things we can do face to face.
In fact, I’ve had SEVERAL interactions with girls that were so good, so clever and so funny, that I was thinking: “Damn, I HAVE to write these down and teach them to my students… these are brilliant!”
In none of the cases did I end up getting involved with the girl.
On the other hand, my BEST seductions, my HOTTEST affairs, my DEEPEST relationships, with the most ATTRACTIVE women… all seemed to be preceded by very SIMPLE text exchanges.
What to Text Girls to Get Dates
My favorite first text to send to a girl I have just met is this:
“Hi Julia, this is Ricardus… save my number.”
I don’t try to make her curious about the “crazy thing that just happened to me that she will never guess”, I don’t try to make her laugh, I don’t use “callback humor” to remind her how awesome I am, I don’t write ANYTHING to impress her, and I certainly don’t try to TRICK her into a meet-up.
The point is, doing any of the above is gimmicky... and working hard for her attention.
That's why coming up with clever texts reduces your power... she KNOWS you're trying hard to get her attention. Heck, *I* know a girl is trying to “game” me when she does any of that (and they do!). It's really transparent, and only makes her position weaker.
I also can’t imagine George Clooney doing any of these things… or Brad Pitt, or Hugh Jackman.
The gimmicky type of text is simply not MASCULINE. A real man is the sun that the planets had better revolve around… he doesn’t chase girls. He’s also not responsible for her entertainment.
These guys have nothing to prove… neither do I, and neither do you.
The subtext of minimalist texting is one of utter confidence. She can TELL: “Oh… there’s a guy who doesn’t feel the need to try hard, like all the other 27 guys that I gave my number and who are texting non-stop now, trying to be clever and funny.”
So what’s the difference between this minimalist approach and the boring generic regular guy?
The answer is that this is all down to your first impression.
If you’ve made a strong, masculine, solid first impression, then sending her a lot of gimmicky tricks and jokes to her phone will only serve to undermine that.
The most impressive thing to a woman is a man who isn’t trying to impress her.
Other Good Texts That Get Results
I also like to use text to set up the next meet-up with a girl.
The first rule is that you shouldn’t just take phone numbers… you should always try and agree on when and where to meet her next. If you did this right, you won’t ever have to text her, other than to confirm that the meet-up is still on.
If you weren’t able to do this, however, here’s a great second text you can send her after the one above:
“Hey Julia, what’s your schedule like this week?”
Notice I didn’t ask her to meet me on a specific time or date. If you do that and she happens to genuinely be busy then, you’ve already started chasing her through her schedule. Instead, let HER make suggestions.
Even if you DO make a suggestion and she turns it down, it might still be one of two things… she might be blowing you off, or she might be legitimately busy. Having her suggest an alternative is a quick and reliable way to figure out which one it is.
Once you know when she’s free, suggest a meet-up. Don’t ask or whine or beg. Simply put it out there. Be a man, and take the lead… women expect it, in dating as much as on the dance floor.
“Cool, meet me on Thursday for a drink at Mandala Bar… say 7 o’clock?”
The last text I would probably send to a girl would be a simple message to check in whether the date is still on or not. This could be on the day of, or a day before.
There are tricks and techniques here to trick her into not flaking… but just as before, you will make a much stronger impression if you keep it SIMPLE. Continue to be that guy who has nothing to prove and who’s not overly concerned with this whole thing… it sub-communicates that you have a lot of options and a lot going on in your life, which is one of the most attractive things
“Hey Julia, are we on for tonight?”
If you live in a place where people usually follow through on what they say and show up on time just because of the culture, you probably won’t have to worry about this, but if you’re in Los Angeles or in a Southern Country, you might throw in another text just to tell her to be on time.
“Whoever is late pays the first round!”
If she is late, you don’t actually have to make her pay the first round… in fact, I recommend you don’t. It’s pretty easy to pull off once you get good at dealing with women, but it’s not the smoothest thing to do and you don’t want to look like a cheapskate either.
Just pay, and tell her something like: “Okay, don’t worry about the bill - I’ll get it, but you HAVE to be on time next time.”
I’ve actually had several girls tell me to put away my wallet at this time… they’d rather have the right to be a bit late than get their dates paid for! Either way you’ve taken the lead, and demonstrated that you have standards for how you will be treated.
Calling Girls: Texting is Better
Okay, if you liked the above… if you also consider it GOOD NEWS that you don’t have to be overly clever and gimmicky in your texts… then you will REALLY like what I have to say about calling girls.
I don’t ever call girls anymore!
Just like with text game, I spent a LOT of time working on my “phone game”. I studied it, practiced it, analyzed it, and collected a TON of empirical data about it, from the first phone call to the last one.
And while I found that a minimalist approach often works best with texting, this is even more extreme with the phone: it’s often best not to talk on the phone at all.
I know some guys who are really good at talking to girls on the phone, getting them attracted by teasing them, breaking the ice and creating a nice vibe that will guarantee that the girl will meet them again… so this is a bit a matter of preference, and different things work for different people.
But for me, there’s a reason…
…Why I Never Call Girls
In most cases, it’s highly likely the she’s busy when you call. She might be with a friend (or a boyfriend, for that matter)… she might be sleeping, she might be at work, she might be doing one of a million things.
When do people EVER have nothing to do other than sit waiting for a call… especially in this day and age? Pretty much never!
If she doesn’t pick up the phone, she will usually call back or send a text as soon as she’s free… unless she wasn’t attracted enough in the first place. She has SEEN your call… there is no good reason to start chasing after her like a puppy now.
But a text is non-intrusive. She can answer whenever she's free. She WILL answer if she likes you…. So there is no need to mess around with phone calls. And if you know what to text girls, you will usually get a response sooner or later. Even if you're incredible at phone calls there's no guarantee she calls back.
Phone calls with strangers can also be somewhat awkward. Sure, there are ways to consistently break the ice on the phone, or to even “script” your phone calls… but talking in person is a lot more natural.
The Exception to the No-Calls Rule
There are a few rare exceptions to this rule.
Sometimes it can really help to vibe with her a bit... maybe she’s on the fence about meeting you, and if she can tell over the phone that you’re a normal person and a cool dude that she can have a non-awkward conversation with, this might up your chances a lot.
But even in that case, I prefer to at least ask her in text first when a good time to call would be.
Once you have her on the phone, I recommend you still don’t resort to any gimmicks:
- Continue to refrain from ALL convincing behavior.
- Stay chill, speak slowly and don’t talk too much… I’ve had lots of girls tell me that some guys talk so much that you’d think they’re a more talkative version of a gossipy teenage girl
- Focus on projecting your masculine voice, and speak with warmth, resonance and bass. (This has to be authentic… if it seems forced, it will only look lame, so record yourself and if necessary, hire a vocal coach).
Mastering What to Text Girls
Don’t work too hard - it will only make you look needy. Make a strong, solid first impression, and then don’t worry too much about sending her a million text messages. Try to get a meet-up instead of wasting a ton of time on calls and texts… and always be chill.
Once you get used to sending minimalist texts - and it might take a while or feel a little weird at first, especially if you fell into the habit of sending gamey or entertainer-like texts - you’ll soon start seeing, perhaps surprisingly at first, that yes, less really is more.
And you might be flummoxed at first - “That doesn’t make sense! I send girls so many amazing texts, and they don’t come out! But then I send them simple, minamilist texts and suddenly they can’t help themselves!” - but don’t be. Because any frustration you felt was frustration at yourself, for spending so much time doing extra work that didn’t work, when the effective strategy was so much simpler.
Texts that work are easy.
They cut the fat.
Be excited instead, at this newfound power you have.
The power of knowing what to text girls to get them out on dates. Now that’s yours, too.
Onward and upward,
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