What to Text Girls to Get DATES


what to text girlsThere is a phase that every student of the Art of Seduction goes through... and that is the FLAKE phase. This post is about what to text girls to get yourself through that phase... as quickly as possible.

You’re already advanced enough to approach women, get them interested in you and even to get their phone numbers… but they just don’t pick up the phone, answer your text messages or come out on another date with you!

This is one of the most frustrating experiences, because while you have the numbers of twenty beautiful girls in your phone, you might as well have none. They enjoyed your approach and seemed into you, but suddenly it seems almost impossible to meet them again, and they hardly give you the time of day.

I remember when I hit this plateau in learning how to seduce women myself. Now, I’m a real enthusiast when I want to learn a new skill (some of my friends might even say “obsessive”), so if I want to figure something out, I really dig my teeth into it until I have it NAILED. And I did the same with the topic of flakes, and text- and phone game.

 

How Come the Numbers Don’t Lead Anywhere?

I spent WEEKS doing nothing but going through all my journals looking for the best text messages I had ever sent to girls, to learn what to text girls to elicit the best returns.

I went through all kinds of blogs, techniques, products and forum posts about how to text girls and how to call girls.

I talked to all my friends who are good with women about it.

I built myself a magical toolbox of text message flirting: open loops, qualification statements, buying temperature spikes, attraction pieces, funny texts, false-choice double-binds, frames… you name it.

I collected all the best texts in one big spreadsheet and tested them SYSTEMATICALLY… one by one (if you’re a girl reading this and you got one of those experimental texts, I sincerely apologize).

I eventually perfected my “text game” to a point where, if a girl was going to be texting with me, it would probably be the most interesting text interaction of her life… and I mean that.

This post is about the results of my experiments, and what I found to REALLY work.

 

The Result of Those Experiments...?

You will probably like to hear what I found: It’s all BS.

None of the above is at all necessary.

Now, I’m the first to caution students against anybody who says that getting good with women doesn’t take a lot of work, and that it’s easy… success is certainly SIMPLE, but there are no magic pills in this game.

But you also can’t trick women into sleeping with you by writing a clever text message!

what to text girls

In fact, now when I have a REALLY good SMS exchange with a girl, it’s almost a red flag for me… because many of those I’ve had in the past didn’t go anywhere. Think about it:

  • If the girl was really into you, she would just come out and meet up with you, instead of spending days and weeks texting back and forth.
  • If she WASN’T really into you… a text is not going to salvage what you weren’t able to do when you had her RIGHT THERE in front of you… IN PERSON. When you had the advantage of being able to use body language and eye contact and vocal tonality and a million other little things we can do face to face.

In fact, I’ve had SEVERAL interactions with girls that were so good, so clever and so funny, that I was thinking: “Damn, I HAVE to write these down and teach them to my students… these are brilliant!”

In none of the cases did I end up getting involved with the girl.

On the other hand, my BEST seductions, my HOTTEST affairs, my DEEPEST relationships, with the most ATTRACTIVE women… all seemed to be preceded by very SIMPLE text exchanges.

 

What to Text Girls to Get Dates

My favorite first text to send to a girl I have just met is this:

“Hi Julia, this is Ricardus… save my number.

Yup…

That’s IT!

I don’t try to make her curious about the “crazy thing that just happened to me that she will never guess”, I don’t try to make her laugh, I don’t use “callback humor” to remind her how awesome I am, I don’t write ANYTHING to impress her, and I certainly don’t try to TRICK her into a meet-up.

The point is, doing any of the above is gimmicky... and working hard for her attention.

In any social situation, whoever exerts less effort holds more power. See: sprezzatura, the Law of Least Effort.

That's why coming up with clever texts reduces your power... she KNOWS you're trying hard to get her attention. Heck, *I* know a girl is trying to “game” me when she does any of that (and they do!). It's really transparent, and only makes her position weaker.

I also can’t imagine George Clooney doing any of these things… or Brad Pitt, or Hugh Jackman.

The gimmicky type of text is simply not MASCULINE. A real man is the sun that the planets had better revolve around… he doesn’t chase girls. He’s also not responsible for her entertainment.

These guys have nothing to prove… neither do I, and neither do you.

The subtext of minimalist texting is one of utter confidence. She can TELL: “Oh… there’s a guy who doesn’t feel the need to try hard, like all the other 27 guys that I gave my number and who are texting non-stop now, trying to be clever and funny.”

So what’s the difference between this minimalist approach and the boring generic regular guy?

Good question!

The answer is that this is all down to your first impression.

If you’ve made a strong, masculine, solid first impression, then sending her a lot of gimmicky tricks and jokes to her phone will only serve to undermine that.

The most impressive thing to a woman is a man who isn’t trying to impress her.

 

Other Good Texts That Get Results

I also like to use text to set up the next meet-up with a girl.

The first rule is that you shouldn’t just take phone numbers… you should always try and agree on when and where to meet her next. If you did this right, you won’t ever have to text her, other than to confirm that the meet-up is still on.

If you weren’t able to do this, however, here’s a great second text you can send her after the one above:

“Hey Julia, what’s your schedule like this week?

Notice I didn’t ask her to meet me on a specific time or date. If you do that and she happens to genuinely be busy then, you’ve already started chasing her through her schedule. Instead, let HER make suggestions.

Even if you DO make a suggestion and she turns it down, it might still be one of two things… she might be blowing you off, or she might be legitimately busy. Having her suggest an alternative is a quick and reliable way to figure out which one it is.

Once you know when she’s free, suggest a meet-up. Don’t ask or whine or beg. Simply put it out there. Be a man, and take the lead… women expect it, in dating as much as on the dance floor.

“Cool, meet me on Thursday for a drink at Mandala Bar… say 7 o’clock?

The last text I would probably send to a girl would be a simple message to check in whether the date is still on or not. This could be on the day of, or a day before.

There are tricks and techniques here to trick her into not flaking… but just as before, you will make a much stronger impression if you keep it SIMPLE. Continue to be that guy who has nothing to prove and who’s not overly concerned with this whole thing… it sub-communicates that you have a lot of options and a lot going on in your life, which is one of the most attractive things

“Hey Julia, are we on for tonight?

If you live in a place where people usually follow through on what they say and show up on time just because of the culture, you probably won’t have to worry about this, but if you’re in Los Angeles or in a Southern Country, you might throw in another text just to tell her to be on time.

“Whoever is late pays the first round!

If she is late, you don’t actually have to make her pay the first round… in fact, I recommend you don’t. It’s pretty easy to pull off once you get good at dealing with women, but it’s not the smoothest thing to do and you don’t want to look like a cheapskate either.

Just pay, and tell her something like: “Okay, don’t worry about the bill - I’ll get it, but you HAVE to be on time next time.”

I’ve actually had several girls tell me to put away my wallet at this time… they’d rather have the right to be a bit late than get their dates paid for! Either way you’ve taken the lead, and demonstrated that you have standards for how you will be treated.

 

Calling Girls: Texting is Better

Okay, if you liked the above… if you also consider it GOOD NEWS that you don’t have to be overly clever and gimmicky in your texts… then you will REALLY like what I have to say about calling girls.

I don’t ever call girls anymore!

what to text girls

Just like with text game, I spent a LOT of time working on my “phone game”. I studied it, practiced it, analyzed it, and collected a TON of empirical data about it, from the first phone call to the last one.

And while I found that a minimalist approach often works best with texting, this is even more extreme with the phone: it’s often best not to talk on the phone at all.

I know some guys who are really good at talking to girls on the phone, getting them attracted by teasing them, breaking the ice and creating a nice vibe that will guarantee that the girl will meet them again… so this is a bit a matter of preference, and different things work for different people.

But for me, there’s a reason…

 

…Why I Never Call Girls

In most cases, it’s highly likely the she’s busy when you call. She might be with a friend (or a boyfriend, for that matter)… she might be sleeping, she might be at work, she might be doing one of a million things.

When do people EVER have nothing to do other than sit waiting for a call… especially in this day and age? Pretty much never!

If she doesn’t pick up the phone, she will usually call back or send a text as soon as she’s free… unless she wasn’t attracted enough in the first place. She has SEEN your call… there is no good reason to start chasing after her like a puppy now.

But a text is non-intrusive. She can answer whenever she's free. She WILL answer if she likes you…. So there is no need to mess around with phone calls. And if you know what to text girls, you will usually get a response sooner or later. Even if you're incredible at phone calls there's no guarantee she calls back.

Phone calls with strangers can also be somewhat awkward. Sure, there are ways to consistently break the ice on the phone, or to even “script” your phone calls… but talking in person is a lot more natural.

 

The Exception to the No-Calls Rule

There are a few rare exceptions to this rule.

Sometimes it can really help to vibe with her a bit... maybe she’s on the fence about meeting you, and if she can tell over the phone that you’re a normal person and a cool dude that she can have a non-awkward conversation with, this might up your chances a lot.

But even in that case, I prefer to at least ask her in text first when a good time to call would be.

Once you have her on the phone, I recommend you still don’t resort to any gimmicks:

  • Continue to refrain from ALL convincing behavior.
  • Stay chill, speak slowly and don’t talk too much… I’ve had lots of girls tell me that some guys talk so much that you’d think they’re a more talkative version of a gossipy teenage girl
  • Focus on projecting your masculine voice, and speak with warmth, resonance and bass. (This has to be authentic… if it seems forced, it will only look lame, so record yourself and if necessary, hire a vocal coach).

Mastering What to Text Girls

what to text girlsDon’t work too hard - it will only make you look needy. Make a strong, solid first impression, and then don’t worry too much about sending her a million text messages. Try to get a meet-up instead of wasting a ton of time on calls and texts… and always be chill.

Once you get used to sending minimalist texts - and it might take a while or feel a little weird at first, especially if you fell into the habit of sending gamey or entertainer-like texts - you’ll soon start seeing, perhaps surprisingly at first, that yes, less really is more.

And you might be flummoxed at first - “That doesn’t make sense! I send girls so many amazing texts, and they don’t come out! But then I send them simple, minamilist texts and suddenly they can’t help themselves!” - but don’t be. Because any frustration you felt was frustration at yourself, for spending so much time doing extra work that didn’t work, when the effective strategy was so much simpler.

Texts that work are easy.

They’re straightforward.

They cut the fat.

Be excited instead, at this newfound power you have.

The power of knowing what to text girls to get them out on dates. Now that’s yours, too.

Onward and upward,

Ricardus

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Comments

jay's picture

Did you hear about the Bobby


Did you hear about the Bobby Rio magnetic texting? If you did tell me about it.

Hunter's picture

Great article. I've been


Great article. I've been using a minimalist, objective oriented texting style for a while now and I have to say the results are like night and day. I used to always find it stressful to think of good things to text girls and would take it hard when they didn't respond like I wanted them to (which was most of the time). Just be straightforward and to the point and it usually works.

Kevin's picture

Useing facebook


I'm using Facebook to talk to a girl using her birthday as an excuse to talk to her, and pointed out that we never hangout anymore. And she used the excuse that I'm never around anymore. We used to be good friends and we both used to like each other. She has a boyfriend now, but what I'm asking is how I should approach her. I'm aware that she probably doesn't have feeling for me. But a while back we hung out with each other and she seemed to be having a good time with me laughing and all this good stuff. I feel like shes avoiding me so she won't like me again for her boyfriend? Because we have mutual friends that I know she hangs out with all the time, but when I hangout with them she doesn't.

Geoff's picture

Move on


See more women. Move faster. If you happen to bump into her, take advantage of the situation and esculate. Make it appear like it just "happened". If she still likes you (and you do it right), you'll get somewhere. If not, she'll tell you she has a boyfriend.

Your friend,

-Geoff

Anonymous's picture

Just gave it a try. Works


Just gave it a try. Works like a charm, and now I have much more energy for the day1

Anonymous's picture

I could use some help. I know


I could use some help. I know this is kind of long but I am head over heels for a girl. How do I know if im trying to hard? Everytime I get a text I always rush into it and end up saying something I regret, nothing that offends her just would only bring me closer into either the creep zone or friendzone. Sometimes I do overthink stuff like this but it is driving me crazy. We usually just talk about how our days are going an im afraid im getting dull. I think im in the friendzone but I really don't want to drop her because we do haev a lot in common and he culd really benefit me in the future. I am worried I might be trying to hard and I still have no idea if trying is worth my time! At soem point I would like to ask her out btu could i be in a stage where it wouldn't work? "Bedding" would be great but thats not the only thing im concerned about which is ehy im a little reluctant to drop her what should i do? What do you think?

Anonymous's picture

Hey, i've recently met this


Hey, i've recently met this girl who I really like and met a couple of times about the place. We go to separate schools so I don't see her during the day. She normally smiles and touches her hair when we talk but I don't have her number so I was going to ask her out on facebook as I don't want to let the window of opportunity pass but Whenever I message her she don't respond even if I know she's there as she posts something in the next minute or two. I was wondering if there is any reason for this. Also I have no Idea if she has a boyfriend and I was just going to ask her and if not just ask her out.

Dexter's picture

facebook doesnt really get you anywhere


your comment is a bit familiar to what I did back then. a few years ago I would follow the old style (birthday wish, chatting on fb, asking for number, calling, and getting no where :P)
now I have cut back on fb and am about to kiss it a goodbye for good. Its just there for the sake of it. I dont think people having a good social life really even check fb messages.
Just ask for her number when she is playing with her hair ;)

wishing you luck :)

Nicholas's picture

This is all true. Forget


This is all true. Forget "gamey" texts. They're old hat. Now it's all about being simple and to the point. Besides, a guy should NEVER have to put a lot of effort into the early stages of dating. Just like when you're out, a simple "hey, how's it going?" is all a guy should need to do to start a conversation with a girl. With texting, keep it just as simple. Save the effort for when the girl has earned it.

Anonymous's picture

Timing


So after you got her number one random night, and then you send that text where you tell her to save the number,

Is there a time gap that you leave before sending the next text? I don't know where I got this, but between the first and second text of a new girl, I would leave a day between, then ask her out. So is it that I should do the first text, then the second with no wait (of course, SOME)?

C.W.'s picture

Girls... Biopolar? lol


Im starting to think that maybe less means more also, but the girl that hasn't text me in a while finally texts me back after 3 weeks of not talking to see how I'm doing. I'm kinda offended really because I was just getting over her, so I pretend like everything's fine but I still don't get it. Everytime I pull back girl's come running, she even implies that we should talk more often but I'm not sure if I should or not.. Advice?

Textanova's picture

If you still like the girl,


If you still like the girl, there's no reason you should ignore her. There's a lot of reasons girls go cold. Attraction is not black or white.

Get the conversation going again. Ask her out and see where it goes from there.

+inperson-intext's picture

workbook? tutoring?


Is there a workbook with many scenarios, conversations, and text responses? content here is great, but I need to "see" it in action to implement.

I can meet, greet, dance, get # - but assuming like most guys here - have difficulty a. trying too hard, and b. texting, to c. get on a date... and one that isn't boring for a college student and too focused like dinner. lame... but what else?

Anonymous's picture

Minimalist


thanks chase

i forgot how much information
little messages can give.

i got hooked into spilling my beans, and wondered why was it so hard to create any sort of tension.

you saved me a lot of time

Cara's picture

See, the whole "whoever is


See, the whole "whoever is late pays" would almost be an automatic dealbreaker for me. I am almost a little bit late for everything, and if that genuinely bothers a guy then I'd rather move on to someone else. Although, I agree with everything else.

Christian's picture

The Next Move


Love the article,

Ive currently been seeing this girl over past few weeks. I have been trying to get her out for a third date this week but both of us have been busy. We were texting back and forth so see if we could arrange a day but to no luck this week. I feel it was me doing the work trying to sort out a day etc. My question is now, do i wait it out now for her to get in contact and arrange a date or do i wait until next week and make the move myself to try and arrange it?

Thanks!

Mathew Zuzu's picture

What do you do next if she doesn't respond to


“Hi Julia, this is Ricardus… save my number.”?

Penguin's picture

That text does not need a


That text does not need a reply from her. Proceed to send the text inviting her on the date.

Anonymous's picture

how long


Does one wait before proceeding with invitation for the date.

Anonymouse's picture

Is there any way back?


Hi Ricardus, is there any way back after making some of these mistakes? I got a number one night out, she later rang me that night. I'm usually not one to send a lot of texts but she text me the following day so I felt rude not to start speaking to her.. However, after a lot of flirty texting it seemed to go off the boil. I'm away for a while so should I just ignore her totally until I'm back and try again with minimal texts? Or have I already set myself up to fail?

Thanks

dtd43210's picture

There is a girl I hooked up


There is a girl I hooked up with about a month ago and I have kept sporadic contact with her through text. One thing I am not sure of though is whether or not my approaches that I have picked up from here (being straightforward and to the point in setting up meetings) are scaring her off, and whether or not she'd rather me 'get to know her' more through text messaging which seems to be where she feels most comfortable. I know that she doesn't want a man who only wants her for sex but she wants a man who will talk to her more, but I would rather get to know her more by actually being with her in PERSON, because I don't think anyone new to each other can get to know each other through text messaging. The problem is I think she might be misinterpreting my text messages (for example, tonight I sent the one: "What is your schedule for this week?" and she did not reply) as me being too pushy to set up a meeting for sex, which makes it seem like I am screwing it up...

Any perspectives on this would be great.Thanks.

Chris O's picture

Did you ever leave her with a...


As i'm well aware of the date you posted this, if you haven't corrected the problem, maybe I can help.

Did you ever leave her with a parting warmth text message after you hooked up? There's an article on here about building a relationship with a woman (check it out, it might help with some of those things).
You have to remember to do this if you want the chance at something more with her (assuming she wasn't just in it for the same thing). To prevent a woman from getting the infamous feeling of regret of sleeping with you is to show them that it wasn't just a "smash and a 'thank you'", text them 3 to 6 hours after the encounter with something like "Had a great time last night. Hope you're not too sore for work ;)" but don't get all bubbly and "butterflies in your stomach" with her after sex at all, remain calm. But reaffirming her decision for choosing you to court her to the bedroom will keep her from thinking you were just in it to hit it and quit it. Once you've allowed her to contemplate her decision, it's extremely difficult to get her to reassess. I believe that once she feels you stuffed it then dumped it, if you try to make things better, it puts the power in her court (which never is a good side to be on, especially in the beginning). As well as leaving a trust gap you might have to fill at some point. I know it can be done because I've seen many do it but usually it's just for a chance at smashing again. As the woman is usually highly nieve.

upgradingmygame's picture

Truth!


Thanks for the article man!

If girls are crazy about you or they like you very much it's pretty much a walk in the park. However that's not the case when you try to go out with a random girl whose phone you picked last night and she's not sure at all about you.

Great advice right here.

Good hunting!

Anonymous's picture

Texting


This girl I like recently stop texting me and I always have to initiate the conversation. She also knows I like her, we want out before but I haven't be able to get her to go out with me again. We used to hanging out everyday now she acting different and I always have to do the chasing.

Trym's picture

I met this girl at a party.


So I met this girl at a party. She was sexy and charming, exacly my type.. So walked up to her and started talking with her. We talked for a long time about loads of things. Importantly i had her talking about herself all the time while i barely told anything about me. I'm pretty new at talking to girls so I didnt quiet know how to escalate things and eventually she and her friends had to leave. So I followed her outside, told her how pretty she was and that i would love to get her number. She smiled and gave it to me.

At that point i knew basicly nothing about picking up girls, so I was like "what should i be texting her tomorrow" and started browsing the internet. I found this site and i started reading. Turns out she gave me atleast 4-5 escalation windows that i COMPLETELY missed. I also had no idea about asking for numbers on high notes etc, and if i did things right, i probably could've taken her home with me right then and there.

Anyhow, i followed your advices with texting and had a couple small texting sessions with her before i finally asked her out 4 days later, using your template :Hey (girls name). We should grab a bite soon. How is your schedule looking? As i kept reading here i figured i probably wouldnt get a response because shes probably in auto-rejection phase given how manny times i failed to escalate so i wasnt expecting an asnwear.. BUT i got one. Very wage though.. It sounds like this: My schedule is pretty packed right now. I'll see what i can squeeze in there. So what do I do now? Was it a polite no, or am i supposed to suggest times that would work for me and see if she can squeeze them in?

Excuse my english.. Im from Norway.
Also if it matters, the girl is 19.

dcl's picture

Fantastic.


Thanks Ricardus, wonderful read. This stuff works! Cheers.

Anonymous's picture

One thing I'd add is to twist


One thing I'd add is to twist this to online dating

I try to take it from the stupid online dating messages straight to text messages as soon as possible. Some girls want to chat online forever and without even their number you could waste your time.

In those initial texts treat it just like online dating, but in 5-10 texts back and forth hit it for the date. Even if she backs off of it then do another 5-10 and hit it for the date.

Some girls like the power of flirting anonymously, even over their texts. I had this one girl who had a face like a horse text me pictures of her breasts, talk about needing a stiff c**k blabla. Then when I was actually in her town and wanted to hook up she flipped to wanting me to play game, scheduling me in for a drink before a dinner date, etc. I then suggested I'll just hook up with her in two weeks when I was back and she tried pushing me out four or five weeks. I just deleted her number as I'm seeing two perfect 10s and another on the hook no need to chase a four who texts me pictures of her breasts talking about us having sex then pulls back when it's showtime.

Nail the meeting ASAP. After you've had sex with them text them all you like. To keep them interested until showtime, a simple good morning have a great day and a hope you had a good day in the evening works wonders because they all want that. Then when you're banging some other chick and cant send those texts they go nuts and set the date and give you absolute full service because they can feel in their bones your with someone else and they want to keep you roped.

Anonymous's picture

I need help, it's easy for me


I need help, it's easy for me to get a girls number, at first it goes great, I ask her to hangout later that week and a few days later the texting dies down until we barley text at all and end up not hanging out! I really need help with this so please respond ASAP! I don't blow up the girls phone and I usually take the same amount of time she does to text back! Idk what's wrong so please help a brother out!

jonathon's picture

assumptions


What about the assumption that all women aren't the same? There are at least two kinds of women that I clearly define and divide (literally and physically) in my mind. I think its helpful to identify the "type" and apply said system.

Good luck
-jonathon

Francis The seductive 's picture

This works, trust me.


Guys, this article is brilliant. Got girls number at the club, than used this article as a manual to get her on a date. IT WORKS! Of course you will need to think with your own head but main ideas are spot on. Thank you very much!

Rodimus's picture

What if the date is a week away?


While these are great tips, as all of your articles contain, I'm still left wondering about a few things... namely, what if your plans with her are a week (or more) away? I have a meet up scheduled several days away, and while I was brief, concise and properly led this girl, I feel odd not texting or talking to her until I see her. Are these feelings merely an internal struggle between what I used to (mistakenly) do, or am I missing something? No contact seems odd, but perhaps it's building suspense and tension.

I realize times have changed since this article was written, and your new How To Text eBook slightly differs - but there wasn't really a previous conversation to resume in this scenario, as she cancelled due to work and I shrugged it off because it was no big deal, which made her (at least SEEM) to go even crazier about me and rescheduled. Am I skipping an important interaction leading up to the meet up, or is this simply just the "old me" screaming as he withers away? Thanks in advance, and for everything you've shared so far... it's been invaluable.

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