Does She Want You as a Boyfriend... or Something Else? | Girls Chase

Does She Want You as a Boyfriend... or Something Else?

Chase Amante

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In the piece on how to treat a woman, a reader shared a tale of having a wonderful date with a girl, ending it by holding hands with her as they walked together, her talking excitedly... only for things to fall apart and her get suddenly uncomfortable when they arrived at his place. He then commented this:

I am in my 40s, well-paid mid-level manager in a prestigious organization. Most of the women I meet are around 25. Even if I don't tell them what I am doing for a living, they just can tell where I stand. The problem I face quite often is "this guy is not in my league, therefore he must be just playing". Can't tease too much, must be careful to show not too high value, and sometimes the move fast approach back fires, as described above.

does she want a boyfriend

Thus enters the status dynamic: the man who is sufficiently high status compared to the girl that she does not want to just sleep with him quickly and one-and-done him, but who is not so high status that he can ask for whatever he wants with her and get it.

He is, in other words, ideal husband material - or, to put it differently, a whole lot more valuable to her as a long-term prospect than a simple fling.

Something I've called, for a long time, the boyfriend dilemma.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.



Damian 's picture

Hey chase ! I wanted to ask you I met this girl at a bar and had sex with her the first night. I have been seeing her ever since having sex and going on dates. I really like her and she likes me as well my question is i don't know where I stand with her and want to know the status of our relationship should I ask her to know if we are just hooking up or boyfriend girlfriend or an exclusive relationships should I bring it. Up or not ?! We've been seeing each other for 2 months ???

Jimbo's picture

Chase you said she'll almost always peg as boyfriend if you were lower-status than she was. Why? I would've thought it'd be the opposite: girls like to have relationships with high-status guys but wouldn't mind having flings with losers, janitors and the like.

Jimbo's picture

"But there are some situations where women are nearly always going to immediately peg you as a boyfriend candidate:

- When they believe they're higher social status than you are"

But why though? Doesn't really make sense. Wouldn't she rather pair up with a guy who's higher-status than she is?

Eman's picture

Hi. It really is wierd that so much years have passed since humanity was born and we still do not understand each other. Of course noone is ideal but to claim we only want bedroom stuff is extra nonsense. Woman use mind games to test man. And man has also reasons why he does this or that. If one thing science and religion teaches us - everything happens for a reason that can be explained.

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