7 Facial Expressions That Drive Women Wild


facial expressionsMost guys who want to get good with girls focus primarily what to say when they first start out.

Me? Pretty early on, I focused on facial expressions.

Ever wonder why girls go so crazy for certain Hollywood stars? Many of them are good-looking, sure... but there are plenty of good-looking men out there that women don't go gaga for.

Stars tend to have some preselection going on, and of course there's the money / power / prestige / social status there to back it all up. So that's part of it.

Yet, many great-looking men make it into Hollywood only to never achieve that legendary "sex symbol" status that certain actors do. What sifts the wheat from the chaff?

Well, acting chops, certainly... and hit movies help. But one of the topmost factors is this: charm.

And what's up there in the mix among the chief elements of this mysterious thing called "charm"? You guessed it - it's what we talk about in this post: facial expressions.

If you get the right sensual, powerful, captivating expressions down, you become someone positively mesmerizing to women.

So let's have a look at seven (7) of the best: four flirty and sexy to ramp up your sex appeal with women, and three for putting a little social pressure to good use... while of course still keeping it pretty sexy, too.


facial expressions

"He's a real charmer."

Anyone ever say this about you?

I started "collecting" cool, interesting, and sexy facial expressions back in college. I had a few of my own prior to then, but I really started paying attention to what people were doing in my early twenties as I started socializing more and tried to parse what made certain people just so much more magnetic than others.

One girl in particular I remember, who had the most charming personality and absolutely the cutest - but also sexiest - collection of little unique facial expressions I'd ever seen, I ended up spending a little too much time pursuing, getting little more than a kiss on the lips when she was drunk one night for my efforts (before being promptly cockblocked by her pretty Persian girlfriend, who despised me). Sure enough, that charming, expressive girl went on to star in a few reality television shows on VH1, but back when I knew her she really started me paying attention to what people were doing with facial expressions.


#1: The Cute and Sexy Look

Let's kick off with the one we talked about in "Sexy Body Language for Men (Learned from Hot Girls)": the cute and sexy look.

This one's something of a "bread and butter" look for interacting with women - it automatically slots you into "sexy guy" territory, and you'll want to do it as much as possible... perhaps even turn it into your default facial expression.

Cute and sex is, for a refresher (or in case you didn't read the previous article):

  • An underlook, with chin tucked down and eyes looking up

  • Lips slightly pursed and drawn into a slight, playful smile

  • Eyebrows either up or down (never just neutral)

  • A hand or object near your face to draw attention, if you like

  • Eyes peaking out from the corners of their sockets / head slightly turned if you want added sexiness

And it looks like this:

facial expressions

facial expressions

The cute and sexy look really ramps up interest from women, and causes them to view you as a curious, interesting, sexual man - and one very much worth getting to know.

This look is effective at placing you firmly into the 'lover' category - removing much of the risk of ending up in the friend zone or as an early boyfriend candidate. That's because more platonic men simply don't use it, and if you do, she knows automatically which category you go in (the bold, naughty, sexy man).

It isn't going to pick girls up for you, of course - you've still got to do that yourself.

But if you want to have an easier time of it with everything you do with women, this look contributes to that quite strongly. Test it out, if you haven't already - you'll almost certainly find it useful.


#2: The Value-Giving Smile

A friend of mine in California who's very good with women uses this facial expression a great deal - and not just with girls, either. This is his go-to smile for any time he wants to give value.

What's that mean, "give value"?

By this I mean:

  • Someone tells a joke or makes a witty comment, and you want to smile/laugh a little bit, in a high status way. The communication here is, "All right, I'll give you that one! That's funny."

  • Someone tells a story about something he or she did that is cool, different, or exciting, and you want to show them a little admiration without oozing it. Here the communication is, "Well, you don't say! That's neat."

  • You see someone you haven't seen in a while (although it's fine to use on dates too, assuming the girl isn't overly serious), and want to show them you're happy to see them in a high status way without having to use words, get up, be overly expressive, etc. In this case, the communication is, "Hey, it's you! Great to see you again, old friend."

Sean Connery does the expression well, so we'll use him as an example again:

facial expressions

You'll notice the characteristics of this one are:

  • Genuine smile, with eyes crinkled at the corners (fake smiles don't have this eye-corner crinkling; genuine smiles do)

  • Reasonably broad smile, though broader on one side of the mouth than the other

  • Some teeth showing, but not a fully open-mouth smile; this smile's a mix of the sexy smile and the warm, friendly one

  • Eyebrows slightly pulled up, almost imperceptibly so

  • Often accompanied with a slight, slow head tilt backwards (not dramatic or significant; slight), followed by a nod forward to return the head to its original position, with a bit of "bounce" as the head settles into place

This expression is great for conveying feelings of warmth and familiarity; the instant you do this with someone, they feel as though the two of you are old friends... even if it's only your first date, or you've only just met her and you're acknowledging her as she returns from the bathroom.


#3: The Sexy Pouty Look

If you thought only little girls and sultry grown up minxes pouted, think again.

The sexy pouty look is often the domain of younger men, simply because it's a more "tormented" look... and younger men tend to be the more tormented, angstier men (older men just tend to have their stuff together, and don't need / use the pouty look all that often... although you can still find Brad Pitt and Sylvester Stallone using it quite a bit, even as they grow longer in tooth).

This expression is fairly similar to the cute and sexy look, except that it lacks the latter's hints of playfulness.

Instead, this one drips of Byronic vulnerability:

facial expressions

The features sexy pouty has in common with cute and sexy are:

  • The slightly pursed lips
  • Eyebrows either up or down, though not as exaggeratedly as in cute and sexy
  • An underlook, with chin tucked down and eyes looking up

Some of the differences include:

  • No hint of playfulness in lips, and no slight smile
  • Eyes sad and unfocused; looking slightly down (as opposed to locked onto one's conversation partner with lively incisiveness, as with the cute and sexy look)

Sexy pouty works well when you're going for "young, lost, and vulnerable," and makes you especially likely to get approached by women and opened by them. You appear alluring and vexingly interesting with this look... and also like you won't put up a fight (or turn her down) if she walks up to say 'hello'.


#4: “Come On... I Know You Want Me”

This is one of my favorite facial expressions. For me personally, this one even beats Cute and Sexy.

"Come On... I Know You Want Me" is what you give to girls:

  1. When they resist you
  2. When they try to act like they're not interested in you
  3. When they're trying to play coy
  4. When they're trying to wind down the sexual energy
  5. When they're trying to friend zone you or throw you in the boyfriend box

It's a great way of telling the girl, "Nice try, but I'm not falling for it. You want me."

Which is good for lightening the mood a bit... while at the same time, kicking the sexual tension up another notch.

It looks like this:

facial expressions

facial expressions

This look is similar to the cute and sexy look in these ways:

  • A hint of a smile and playfulness about the lips
  • Eyebrows either up or down, though not as exaggeratedly as in cute and sexy
  • An underlook, with chin tucked down and eyes looking up

... and different in these:

  • Lips are not pursed
  • Mouth is drawn slightly down in the corners, even as it overall pulls up in a smile
  • Eyes are very frequently squinted in a playfully inquisitive, "Oh really?" sort of way

Needless to say, you've got to be somewhat cocksure to pull this one off... you've really got to think you're some hot stuff.

However, when you DO think this... and you communicate it with this expression... very often, the women you use it with are inclined to think the same.


facial expressions

Pure flirty expressions out of the way, let's talk about three more "high charm" facial expressions you can put to use to communicate in powerful, socially dominant ways with other people (particularly, attractive women!).

The looks in this section are used more for putting social pressure on people, in order to better facilitate your interactions moving in the direction you want.

Two of them we've covered on this website before; the other one, this will be our first time talking about.


#5: The Bored Look

I am absolutely certain that at least SOMEtime, at SOME point in your life, a girl has given you this look after you said or did something, and held that look until you cracked:

facial expressions

... and as soon as you cracked, giving into the pressure she was putting on you that implied that whatever you'd just said or done was socially retarded, you then immediately took whatever you'd just said or done back: "I was just kidding," you said, or, "Hey - it was a joke!"

At that moment, a clear power shift happened between you and her - and instantly, the two of you both knew who was in charge here.

She was.

And you'd better not forget it.

That look was the bored look, a facial expression we first talked about here: "The Bored Look: Use It to Get Women Engaged."

The good news is that men can use this look just the same as women can. All you've got to do to pull it off is:

  • Put a slight smile on your face, pull back one end of that smile dramatically up into your cheek, while turning the smile down at the edges

  • Raise one of your eyebrows in an inquisitive position

  • Open up your eyes and stare at her wide-eyed

facial expressionsThe overall message is, "Really? You're really going to say that? Really?"

Then, once you've got the face in place... hold it.

Hold it until she cracks.

She will. This expression communicates that whatever the person it's being used on said or did was socially unintelligent.

In other words, that she's just embarrassed herself socially.

It's an aggressive move. It's wielding some heavy social firepower... and as such, you only want to use it when someone steps out of line.

That is to say, she:

  • Says something rude or insulting
  • Tries to have a laugh at your expense
  • Implies that you'd make a great platonic friend
  • Does something boneheaded and offensive

Don't do this if a girl says or does something boneheaded that isn't insulting or hurtful or demeaning to your social status, otherwise it feels like you're just criticizing her for not being perfect... and she'll start circling the drain toward auto-rejection if she likes you.

Do do it if a girl says or does something that potentially elevates her position above yours - e.g., implying that you are chasing after her, or that you'd invest heavily in her:

Her: You'd buy me a new phone if you were my boyfriend and I needed one, wouldn't you?

You: [bored look]

Remember, when you do this, do it and hold.

If she doesn't say or do something to alleviate the pressure after 5 or 6 seconds, you can just blink and look slightly away, as if to say, "Well... anyway."


#6: The Skeptical Look

The skeptical look is another one we discussed on here, this one back in 2010's aptly named article "The Skeptical Look."

This look functions as the subtle man's bored look - doing the same thing that look does, but with subtlety.

Think of the bored look as the look you'll use when:

  • You're not yet that good at making subtle facial expressions, or

  • You're interacting with a girl who's socially inexperienced and hasn't yet learned to pick up on (and value) subtlety

Generally that means with girls who are in their late teens and the first few years of their twenties, you'll want to stick to the bored look. With women older than 22 or 23, you'll use the skeptical look.

There are exceptions - the 18 year old girl who's mature beyond her years and recognizes and is attracted to subtlety, or the 27 year old who acts like a little party girl and on whom the subtle is lost.

Think of it this way: if she seems poised and socially well-attuned, go subtle. If not, go obvious.

The risk of subtle is if you use it with a girl who doesn't pick up on it, the message isn't conveyed; the risk of obvious is if you use it with a girl who's socially experienced enough to prefer subtlety over obviousness, you look a little goofy and less socially experienced.

Here's our more subtle skeptical look:

facial expressions

You'll notice a few differences between Will Smith's expression on the left and Tom Hiddleston's on the right... namely, that Smith's is a bit more playful and disarming, while Hiddleston's is a bit more "disappointed."

The main features of this look are:

  • Sharp eye contact

  • Eyebrow in a slightly (more serious) or very (more playful) raised, inquisitive position

  • Mouth closed somewhat tightly, showing just the slightest hint of a smirk

The overall message is either, "Are you kidding me?" (playful) or, "Finished?" (disappointed), and the pressure it puts on a girl to knock off whatever rudeness or silliness she's getting up to is quite effective (with any girl socially savvy enough to be able to read its subtlety).

This one's especially useful when a girl is trying to go backwards in a seduction, like moving back from deep conversation to playful banter. Flash her this look and hold it for a few seconds, and she'll recognize that she's being a bit of a goof and get back with the program again.


#7: The Intense Look

When I was a boy, I had an English teacher who told us that there was a rare ability a select few people possessed to look at someone a certain way and just fill that other person with fear by the sheer ferocity of the look. I felt a surge of pride when I heard this, because I knew I had that talent - I'd been told by many people that when I got angry, I looked scary.

But the intense look isn't just for making other people quake in their boots - otherwise, it wouldn't be all that worth putting up here, unless you plan to spend a lot of time in dangerous areas and would like another way to become a walking crime deterrent.

The intense look is used for communicating something else, too: I am a powerful dude.

It looks like this:

facial expressions

facial expressions

The way it does this is by putting on your intense face, and then making and holding eye contact. Usually when people wear a face like this, it's because they're angry or upset... and they divert their eyes away from other people, seeking to avoid confrontation.

By instead maintaining eye contact, your communication is, "I know I look intense, and I know I look threatening. And I'm going to look you dead in the eye, because I want you to see me."

Doing this with men is typically a challenge. But doing it with women... if she knows you're a cool guy, you're socially savvy, and you possess self-control, she knows you're not challenging her. Instead, she just feels a surge of power... your power.

The keys to this look are:

  • Furrowed brow (eyebrows down), but only somewhat so... not furiously so

  • Eye contact from the corner of the eyes ("sexy" eye contact)

  • An underlook, with the chin tucked slightly down

  • A slight flaring of the nostrils... you should barely be able to feel doing this. If you can easily detect it staring in the mirror, you're overdoing it

  • Corners of the mouth pulled back just enough that there is some compression in the cheeks, but it isn't clear if the mouth is headed toward a smile or a frown if it continues to grow

One difference you might pick up from the feel of the images above is the difference between Tom Cruise's facial expression (on the bottom right) and the other two expressions. That difference is caused by the shadow covering the right half of Cruise's face and, thus, one of Cruise's eyes; when viewing the picture, you only look into one of his eyes, which makes the image feel more confrontational (next time you talk to someone, try focusing on just one of the person's eyes; it will feel quite aggressive to you and him both - the left eye is particularly confrontational when stared at exclusively, and that's the eye that this photograph of Cruise puts your focus on).


Facial Expressions Bonus: The Head Tilt

Bet you didn't realize it, but in nearly every one of those pictures above (the bored look being the notable exception here), the man in the photograph tilts his head to one side or the other. Sometimes a little; sometimes a lot; but almost invariably, at least some.

Why's he do this? Head tilting makes you stand out. It causes people to pay attention to you.

Normal people tilt their heads when asking a question; it's a sign of inquisitiveness. Charismatic people will tend to tilt their heads anytime they're doing something that demands a little attention. It's a quick and easy way of saying, "I'm intrigued - I'm trying to figure something out about you." It makes you feel at once much closer to this charming individual you're speaking to, as he indicates his interest in you and his desire to find out more about you.

If you want to add a dash more charm and personality to any of your facial expressions, just tilt your head.


Putting It All to Use

facial expressionsWho should you use these facial expressions with?

Pretty girls only?

All girls you talk to, regardless of your interest levels?

EVERYBODY you talk to, man or woman, young or old?

My personal recommendation is that you use most of them with everyone. "Cute and Sexy' and "Come On... I Know You Want Me" you probably want to reserve solely for women, although I'd suggest you do this with ALL women, and not only the ones you want to go to bed with.

Why this recommendation? Because your facial expressions are habitual. They become your defaults.

Search for photographs for most of the actors in these photographs, and what do you see? Ryan Reynolds with that same expression on his face in every picture. Sean Connery with one of several different expressions... in every picture.

Charming, sexy facial expressions do not come with an on-off switch. If you learn to use them all the time, you will use them all the time, even when you talk to beautiful women. If you don't use them all the time, and then try to use them when you run into the girl of your dreams... well, don't count on doing anything different then. You might get yourself doing them for a few minutes, but as soon as you stop paying attention to what your face is doing, it'll go right back to its normal mode of expressing itself.

If you really want to unlock the power of these for use in your seductions (and anywhere else you might need them), start using them all the time.

Use them with friends.

Use them with colleagues.

Use them with waitresses and clerks you wouldn't otherwise flirt with normally.

Use them anywhere and everywhere, until they become your default faces.

Then, those expressions will be there when you need them. And you won't be acting anymore... it will just be you: a real charmer.

Adios,
Chase

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Comments

Anonymous's picture

Looking down


Hi Chase,

I've read before about not looking down when talking to women because it shows submissiveness.

However, my Facebook profile pic shows me looking on an angle and slightly downward. It's a great photo of me but I just happen to be looking down at about 45 degrees.

I have the pouty look going in the photo and it really accents my facial lines.

Now does this show submissiveness? Even though I am not looking at the camera nor am I in conversation with a woman (it's a Facebook profile pic after all)?

Chase Amante's picture

Re: Looking down

Author

Anon-

Looking down is only something to be avoided while in conversation. Even then, there are exceptions; if you have a very strong presence, looking down, then back up is normally interpreted as a strong indicator of sexual interest. The rest of the time, and except for the right moments in conversation to be doing it, it's something you want to steer clear of, however.

When you're looking down in a photograph, however, it's not perceived as submissive because you weren't talking to the girl. In fact, in the article on meeting girls on Plenty of Fish, this is mentioned as the ideal pose for your online profile pictures.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Friends With Benefits


Dear chase, there was this girl that i was quite persistent and resilient with, she was a tough case due to the fact that she thought of me as a player, we attended classes together everyday, and seemed to spend alot of time getting to know each other, I then asked her to be my girlfriend blindly due to the fact that she was a virgin an that seemed to be the only option, she told me to await an answer on a cruise that we planned on taking together (where i planned to make her my lover) after she arrived i immediately proceeded to take her to bed, although she did not allow intercourse, she was quite inexperienced but an extremely beautiful woman. after we were done with passionate kissing and such for about 2 hour i asked her about her decision and she told me " she wasnt ready for a relationship" i opted for a more casual Friends with benefits sort of thing and she agreed, we havent seen each other after the cruise, she started texting and calling m alot because my phone was off for 3 days, we eventually skyped for 2 hours and now she seems to be chasing after me because im not acting in the boyfriend role wich i began to act in, im giving her less attention and such. the next we meet is in 3 weeks, so my problem ishow does one act as "friends with benefits" im allready working on detaching myself on her emotionally so i know I'll be casual with it, but how often must I stay in contact? how should i talk to her? how hould i act around her? please help! thanx

Chase Amante's picture

Re: Friends With Benefits

Author

Anon-

The normal way you'd act having her as a friend with benefits is not talking / texting / instant messaging except to arrange your next (sexual) encounter. It doesn't sound like this is really that, though - she's investing a lot more time in you than she would in a casual relationship, as you are in her. It sounds as if both of you are fairly young and still trying to figure the whole dating thing out.

If you stick to the rule of "invest a bit less in her than she invests in me; be a bit more scarce for her than she is for me," you should be fine. Don't go overboard and invest so little or be so scarce that she goes into auto-rejection (or decides that you're consciously trying to be scarce, and then starts playing games with you back), but if you vary it a bit (sometimes very scarce, sometimes very available, etc.), with the overall thrust being toward being slightly less available to her than she is to you, you'll get it working properly.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

I'm looking forward to


I'm looking forward to putting these to use. I work as a barman in a restaurant as I'm saving before I move to pursue a career in sales so I've beenusing the time to work on my fundamentals - posture, walk etc and I'm noticing a differemce when I go out.

Thisnis unrelated to pickup but I remember reading that you said you hadn't watced tv in years. Did you gradually phase it out or was it never something that really interested you. I feel like I'm wasting my life in front of the boob tube amd would like to really like to cut down drastically. Any advice?

Chase Amante's picture

Television

Author

Anon-

Great to hear on the fundamentals.

On TV - no phasing out for me. I used to watch hours of television every night back in high school. I just realized when I got to university that I'd sit down and turn it on and I couldn't think of a single valuable thing I got out of it. "Am I just throwing my time away and getting nothing in return?" I asked myself one day. The answer I came up with was "yes," so I just quit watching it. I was at a natural break where all my favorite shows had either ended, or started boring me, so it was easier to let go than, say, had there been a really gripping, engaging show I loved watching still on TV... made it easier to simply go cold turkey.

I only had a small television with me in college, that I would use to watch my city's football game on Sunday, and eventually I stopped bringing a TV with me at all and would watch the football game at a bar or just not watch it. I was fortunate to have roommates who didn't own televisions either - some would watch TV shows on their computers; some just didn't watch TV either because it wasn't available.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

man fired best friend


What post contained the link about a man who was working for his best friends dad business .then when the best friends dad died.the best friend called the man into a room and fires him.I think was from around 19 something.

Chase Amante's picture

Quit Being so Accomodating

Author

Anon-

That was this one, on the boards:

1922: Why I Quit Being So Accomodating

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Breathing


Interesting article. I realized lately that I've been watching many James Bond movies simple to see their movements, facial expressions included. However, I haven't been able to pin down how they breath. If it's through the nose or mouth (thinking it's the nose) and if there is some sexy way to breath? I'd like to know your take on the situation because I know shortness of breath can lead to your voice not being as clear and sexy and being overly loud with your breathing at highly sexual points can ramp-up the sexuality (if used properly).

Always a pleasure,
Luke

Chase Amante's picture

Re: Breathing

Author

Anon-

Breathing's done through the nose there, though you'll often note Bond's nostrils flaring if he's been doing any heavy running / gunning / etc. For heavy exercise, it's recommended you inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth.

Nose / nostril flares tend to be a sign of arousal, just like eyebrow raising, and you'll see Bond do this with women he's sexually interested in as well. Flared nostrils signal increased heart rates and heavier breathing... you'll tend to feel the sexual energy get kicked up a notch when you start throwing these in in intimate conversation with a girl. Obviously, don't flare ALL the way, or it just looks silly, but a partial flare ups the ante a fair bit.

Chase

Flames's picture

Head tilt


Well spotted on the head tilt, it's works like a charm. I've started doing this a lot recently. I think I've picked it up off someone else but I've no idea who.

I feel it works at its best when your a guy who has trouble with auto-rejection, it seems to convey warmth and interest and slight vulnerability.

Regards
Flames

Chase Amante's picture

Re: Head tilt

Author

Good observations, Flames.

That's certainly true for me - I always struggled with girls thinking I was out of their league or looking down on them. Head tilting helps mollify that somewhat.

Chase

Knight's picture

Look


Less movement of the body and more movement on the face. Got it.
I was wondering if you have adopted a certain look on your face while casually walking/sitting. I see many people with 'blank' faces when they are walking or sitting by themselves. Sometimes this can be rather off putting or is that being influenced by other factors I wonder? I make it an effort to walk slowly and aim my view above other people's heads when I'm walking and apply a somewhat intense stare to the horizon. I feel like this isn't the best when I'm walking somewhere less crowded and simply want people to take me in a positive light.

Knight

Chase Amante's picture

Re: Look

Author

Knight-

For me, when walking around, I look above heads, but tend to move my eyes around a bit, not jerky, but more like... look over here; hold eye contact for a few seconds; move eyes to over here; hold eye contact for a few seconds. Facial expression is basically a skeptical look with eyebrows raised and eyes open reasonably wide. I'll also sigh a bit if I want a girl to notice me. The look I'm going for is "eccentric dreamer searching for some kind of meaning." I find this works best for getting approached on the street, which doesn't happen that often, but gets me some approaches now and again, and more importantly a fair chunk of approach invitations from girls signaling for me to come open them.

If you're actively doing day game approaching (e.g., not waiting for signals to approach, but proactively approaching any girl who looks cute), it's better to shift into a happier of an expression on your face than this... not a huge grin (usually, although sometimes this is good, provided it's completely genuine), but more a hint of playfulness about you. That way, when she first notices you walking up to her, she feels relieved that you seem to have good intentions; when you approach with the distracted dreamer look if she hasn't signaled for you to approach, it can feel a little weird.

Chase

Balla's picture

Girls Questioning You and Are Jordans Wearable?


So Chase, ive been having a problem with girls trying to find out what my intentions are. They'll ask me the following famous questions.
(Girls I know use the word "talk" as in messing around, not really dating but having sex and chilling, or going to make them my girl.)
1. Why do I want to talk to them?
2. Why do I want to talk to them if I get so many other girls?(based off preselection they have seen) What makes them special?
3. Am I trying to be friends with benefits?
4. Do I want to be their boyfriend?
5. How many sex partners have I had?
6. What do you want from me?/what do you want me to be to you? ( girlfriend, lover, friend)

Id really appreciate if you could answer those 6 questions for me so I know how to answer them.

I usually just tell them my interest straight up and throw my cards on the table, but you told me that's not good, so how do I answer it without hiding my interest?

Chase what are good shoes for a black guy to wear? I dont want to wear cowboy boots, I want to wear sneakers. Jordans and nikes, but I feel this is more young and for casual wear. Whats good to wear if your trying to look older? Prada and gucci shoes? Can I still wear sneakers?

Chase Amante's picture

More Qualifying, Stylish Sneakers

Author

Balla-

Those questions from girls are what you get when girls have trouble understanding why you are interested in them. Basically, you haven't done a good enough job qualifying them, and it feels surprising / weird / unexplained why you would want THEM. The way around this is doing more and better deep diving; focus on diving deep and providing feedback that shows the girl is gradually winning you over as you go. See "What Does She Want? The 8 Things You Must Ask Her" for the best questions to ask.

You really don't want to be running into the "Why do you want [blank] with me??" objection; it tells you you aren't properly qualifying if you are. Women should KNOW why you want whatever you want with them; it's because they're so amazing, as they've just told you they are.

If you're telling girls you're interested straight up without them having an inkling as to why, they'll assume you're a.) desperate, or b.) REALLY not picky… and neither of those feels very good. Women want to be with a man who's picked them for THEM, because he KNOWS them and has judged them worthy of his valuable time, energy, and attentions… not because he goes for whatever he can get and they just happened to be handy. That latter feels quite demeaning (and disappointing).

On sneakers - check out Camper. See a good example of these in the article on fashion for men… they look good on damn near everybody.

Chase

Zac's picture

David Beckham, Cristiano Ronaldo, Johnny Depp


David Beckham is still popular among women, although he's 38. Cristiano has more of this edgy look, like the intense aura. Johnny Depp has one skeptical look in one of his wiki photos.

David Beckham has all of this look if i remember, but mostly in modelling photos. Guess when you a model, it is easier to do all of this in one shot.

Zac

Chase Amante's picture

Expressiveness

Author

Zac-

Indeed, those are more examples of expressive men who are, as you'd expect, pretty attractive to women.

Depp's level of expressionism, in particular, is quite good. You can learn a lot of nuanced, useful expressions just by watching a few of his flicks... he's got some range on him there.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Get Girls to pay/ Situation


I'm just asking this one question out of curiosity chase, but how do guys pimp girls? How do they get girls to fall in love with them and take their shit while being sold for money?

on me, I want to know how do I get money from girls and how do I get them to pay for me on dates?

another topic I really need help with is getting over this situation I deal with time to time. I'm not really the brightest person when it comes to schooling because im lazy and I do work better on paper when I have time to solve the problem. For example a teacher could ask me w multiplication problem and it might be simple for other people but I wont know off the bat when im asked to answer. So I go into a panic attack and say I don't know trying to play it off like its an we easy question and they should feel dumb for asking me that. But I probably don't know it. What should do Chase if I get asked an easy question a younger person should know and that's it laughable if I dont know it? Whats better than idk? Not saying a word?

Chase Amante's picture

Pimping, Not Knowing Answers

Author

Anon-

I don't teach pimping (getting girls to pay for stuff) simply because it's too easily abused. Even when you're trying to be careful with it, you can do a lot of damage accidentally. It also leads to rather extreme emotional attachment from the girl spending lots of money on you, which means things end up getting quite messy toward the end (and there's almost always an end).

On not knowing answers off the bat: the best way of solving it probably is forcing yourself to be ready to answer. When I was in school, I'd expect to have to answer every question a teacher asked, and the moment he asked it I'd be solving it in my head and raising my hand as soon as I got it, basically because I wanted to avoid those scenarios where you get called on and don't have an answer and feel (and possibly look) like a dunce.

The more you participate, the more you'll train yourself to start cracking on coming up with the answer as soon as the teacher starts asking the question - gets your brain to work a lot faster and under pressure, too.

The other thing you might do is if you have areas you know you're weak at, take some time to work on them on your own and try turning them into strengths instead. Some of my best memories from school were the classes where I wasn't doing so well, so I quit listening to the teacher and taught the material to myself, and did better than most of my peers.

If you want a good solution in the interim while you're still training your brain to process faster and you get called on, instead of getting out of the pressure by playing it off, consider telling the teacher, "Can you give me a minute to think about it?" and then try and solve it. If you can't get the answer, say, "I'm not sure." This will feel worse in the beginning, because you'll feel like a fool, but it'll put pressure on you to start performing. I (briefly) taught high school sometime back, and the students I had who did this at the start of the year - they'd be laughing and joking around, and I'd call on them to answer, and they'd go, "I don't know," and then I'd arrange the seating charts to separate them from their friends and stick them up front to get them paying more attention and causing me fewer headaches - a few months in they'd be raising their hands and frequently volunteering to answer, and much of the time they'd be getting the answer right.

It's really just getting into the habit of answering, and training your brain to start solving for every question the teacher asks. You can do it if you put a little effort into it.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

llooking down


If your always supposed to have your chin up doesn't that contradict the underlook you described? I'm sure you have a reason. I was just curious

Chase Amante's picture

Chins Up

Author

Anon-

Chin parallel to the ground is an attractive pose for men - you always want this when walking, and frequently when sitting, standing, yes.

However, when you're going for certain sexual looks, tucking your chin down in an underlook makes your interpersonal communication substantially more intimate and removes some of the barrier between you and the girl.

Think chin up as arrogant, haughty, and self-assured; chin down as closer, personal, and intimate. Keep your chin up when out of close conversation and when walking around, but when you're trying to foster a more intimate vibe (or, sometimes, goad women into approaching you more closely), the underlook proves quite useful here.

Chase

Bombastic's picture

Sexual Innuendo


Hi Chase, just a quick question,

I understand how certain facial expressions/body language can do a lot to set a sexual tone and develop your vibe, but can you explain to me just how important it is to also use words to set this sexy vibe.

What I mean is, I understand that sometimes using sexual innuendo in order to set chase/sex frames etc is very useful but honestly with some girls the opportunity to use innuendo etc never really arrises. Sometimes I can be talking to a girl and we'll be connecting well, deep diving well, relating well, and I believe she can TELL what I am all about purely by my body language/expressions but she never really says anything that allows me to follow up with something sexual with words. So what I am asking is, if you can't seem to find anyway to use words/innuendo etc to give off that 'sexy vibe' can body language alone be enough?

Can you get away with not using sexual innuendo/frames ? As long as you come across as sexy via body language etc and make sure you disqualify yourself as a boyfriend?

How much sexual phrases/innuendo etc would you use with a girl, or would you just use correct bodylanguage, connect, & move things forward. Do you ever have a hard time finding something sexual to imply/say etc?

Chase Amante's picture

Innuendo vs. Body Language

Author

Bombastic-

Sexual innuendo and chase frames aren't completely necessary. They're more a seasoning than they are the dish themselves. Your body language is a larger part of the main course.

If you have sexual innuendo but no sexual body language, the innuendo feels more like a funny joke than a sexy one. If you have sexual body language but no innuendo... it still feels pretty sexy. You can talk to her about riding horses or working in a cubicle or watching television and it will feel sexy.

Innuendo works best with women who are receptive to it; not all women are. It can help you supercharge things with the girls that are, provided you're already doing everything else right, though. It basically allows you to amplify the vibe you're creating with your body language: if there is no vibe, there's no amplification. If you have a strong vibe already, the amplification makes it even stronger.

There are some women though with whom all but the lightest innuendo is just too much. It's good to test with a few lighter pieces earlier on into an interaction and see how the girl reacts. If she laughs / her eyes sparkle / she banters back with you / otherwise gets really into it... then game on. If not, you probably want to leave it alone, or keep your remarks simply to something light.

Chase

anonk's picture

one minute kiss


hi chase I recently saw this video on youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=RTuBf4BrIgE

which about a guy asking any random girl 3 questions and it leads to a very manhandling kiss and also I saw this post by the naughynomad
http://naughtynomad.com/2010/09/08/the-10-second-k-close/

now is their any benefit of this is it good like curing approach anxiety?.will it lead to emotional spikes or attraction /dominance/confident/man points .and if it is good what next.

Chase Amante's picture

Fast Kissing

Author

Anonk-

I think this can help with approach anxiety, yes.

I went through a period in 2006 when I was kissing girls and sexually escalating with them as rapidly as I could in public. I'd be making out with girls in minutes, and would have my hand under the bra or down the front of their panties a few minutes after that. It was quite empowering at the time; things that I thought were IMPOSSIBLE I was suddenly doing... and girls LIKED it! And it was EASY!

Eventually you knock it off because you realize it isn't solid game and you almost never end up sleeping with the girls you do these things with. It's simply too easy for the mood to break before you're able to get her home with you or somewhere else private, and the moment the mood breaks and she gets logical she starts saying to herself, "Oh my God, what am I DOING with this guy? lol! Time to get a hold of myself..." and then it's done. It's better to build a sexual vibe without escalating, and use that to get her out of there because she's dying to see what happens next. Then, once in private, you start escalating - and go all the way.

That said, if you're using it purely to push the realms of possibilities, make yourself more comfortable with approaching, or even see how far you can take it (e.g, can you get good at fast escalations that then lead to sex in a bathroom stall? Can you get girls so turned on with you that they're dragging you off to a secluded corner somewhere to finish you off and have you finish them off?), this can be a lot of fun, and it certainly expands your horizons.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Stop Being Sensitive and learn patience?


HI Chase, how can I stop being sensitive and how can I stop showing it?

And how can I be patient? I have no patience at all.

Thanks!

Chase Amante's picture

Patience and Sensitivity

Author

Anon-

Both of these are largely the product of experience and exposure; the more you learn to wait for things, the more patient you become, and the more you are exposed to things, the less sensitive to them you are.

The one thing you can do to speed up your learning curve (aside from simply putting yourself in patience-testing and sensitivity-trying situations outright) is learning meditation, and learning to clear your head. When I find myself growing impatient these days, it's very helpful to meditate a bit on how little this particular shred of time is going to matter in the long run, and if I find myself reacting to something sensitively it is useful to meditate on how small an issue this really is, and to wonder how much the president of some foreign nation would care about my problem if I told him about it (answer: not at all).

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Slow Opening


Been hoping for an article like this. Great work Chase.

On a different note I recently read your Slow Opening eBook. Is Slow Opening only for Night Game? Also can it be used when going direct, or is it more for indirect-direct and situational openers?

Thanks

Chase Amante's picture

Re: Slow Opening

Author

Anon-

Not at all - you can use slow opening by day as well; you've simply got to use it in the right scenarios. e.g., using it at a café while waiting in line or while seated near a girl is one way; if you're browsing near a girl in a grocery shop or bookstore, that's another.

You can mix it in with going direct, but the direct opener needs to be delivered in an "oh, by the way" fashion, and not include your name at the end. You'll also need to use it in a somewhat different fashion than you would for something situational... i.e., for situational, you're making an offhand comment, then realizing you find her interesting, and engagine.

With direct, you're telling you find her interesting just offhand, then reengaging with her a moment later in a half-flirty, half-situational casual kind of way, until you can either ask for compliance or she starts proactively investing.

That looks like this:

You: Excuse me... I noticed your scarf and blouse as I was taking a seat, and I just wanted to tell you... your sense of style is wonderful.

Her: Oh! Thank you!

You: [nodding in acknowledgment, going back to your book]

You: [a bit later] You don't know anything about ancient Roman fortifications, do you?

Her: [laughs] Not really my strong suit!

You: Nor mine, but it doesn't hurt to ask.

You: [back to book]

You: [a bit later] Am I asking too much if I bother you for your opinion on something?

Her: Not at all! What's that?

You: Would you come here and take a look at this? Tell me what you think of this design...

Chase

VON's picture

Facial Expressions and Having A So What, Who Cares Attitude


On the article:

What expression is the Harrison Ford picture Chase?

I don't know if me raising my eyebrows looks good I have a lot of wrinkles in my forehead and it looks bad when I do that should I not do that then?

And speaking of the stare you said your teacher told you, I guess I have that trait also. People are so afraid of me, especially when I'm pissed off, but for example white people give me these looks like I'm going to hurt them or they put on this tough face like I'm going to do something to them. It kinda hurts but whatever, I try to look approachable like how you wrote in that one article but it remains the same. I'm pretty tall, muscular, and people tell me I have a strong walk that they never see, so that might be the reason. Please let me know what I can do to stop having people scared of me.

Another Topic:
Chase I want to know how do I develop a so what, who cares, careless attitude? I tend to care about a lot of things and it pisses me off.

1.I just want to do what I want to do and stop caring how people feel.
I always worry how people are going to react if I say or do something I think is going to offend them. How's that possible?

2.Another example is I care a lot about what I say and I don't want to sound like the generic guy but that stops me from saying anything at all, should I just ask generic questions and see where it goes and stop trying to be so clever?

Just want to say thanks for all the help you've given me on my road to being a better man, you really help me out and I appreciate all of it. You're a good man thanks Chase.

Chase Amante's picture

Being Affected Less

Author

Von-

Don't mention it - hope it's helping.

Ford's expression above is about halfway between a bored look and a skeptical look. It's a, "Seriously? You're joking, right?" type of nonverbal communication.

On wrinkles, best I can say is ask for people's opinions; they might not find it as unattractive as you think. And on being more approachable, perhaps try smiling a bit more. There's little cooler than a really strong, intimidating guy with a small smile on his face - you look at him and think, "Wow, he looks like he could hurt me, but I don't think he's going to."

On the attitude, see this: A Devil May Care Attitude: What It Is & How to Get It

Caring about what people say is something that will afflict you (if you're sensitive to it) until you have enough social success in your life that you've already got the kinds of women you want and the kinds of friends you want and they treat you the way you want to be treated, and you know that you're largely coming across the right way with people. Until then, there's not much way to get rid of it, because your mind is constantly searching for small mistakes that are keeping you from having the success you want, instead of accepting that you've already got your stuff handled and any problem other people have with you might mean you need something tweaked, but regardless probably isn't a big deal if you're not hearing about it from people closer to you or people you respect.

Chase

Bolt's picture

Lasting Longer in Bed


Hey Chase, I think many guys would appreciate it if you wrote an article on lasting longer in bed.

Chase Amante's picture

Re: Lasting Longer in Bed

Author

Bolt-

Noted - it's in the queue.

Chase

Balla's picture

How to stop being a perfectionist


Hey chase, I want to stop being a perfectionist and drop my ego. How can one do that?

Club game: What can I be doing wrong in the club? I dont get dances with girls but I see guys who are less attractive than I am and less fashionable. But they get dances and I don't. The girls do see my face but maybe im too timid or something idk, please tell me what im doing wrong.

I was trying to find your comments about being aggressive in the club, but for the life of me I can't find it. I just wanted to know did you say to be very aggressive in the club and if you act timid you won't get any girls because they dont like that? Tell me if I'm right. THANKS

Chase Amante's picture

Perfectionism, Dance Floor, Nightclubs

Author

Balla-

On perfectionism and dropping your ego - let me know if you figure it out; I'm pretty sure this trait is inborn and you can't shake it. The best thing you can do is redefine "perfect" - e.g., is a perfect seduction running all the right steps, or is a perfect seduction one that ends up with you sleeping with a girl, and whatever you need to do to get there doesn't matter so long as it gets you there?

On dance floor, see this article: Tactics Tuesdays: Dance Floor Game. Peter also tells me he's going to write one on dance floor that he thinks can contribute a few things I didn't cover in that one.

On nightclubs - see this: How to Pick Up Girls in Bars and Clubs.

Chase

Wolf's picture

Chasing the idea of getting girls/Not being a lame


Do you think me being needy to get good with girls is making it that much harder for me? Like you say girls don't like chasing and the more you chase the more the girl wants to get further away from you. So is it like that if Im being needy on learning how to get girls? I'm chasing the idea of getting girls but the results are harder and harder to come by when im focused so much into getting girls. It's also like the saying dont look for a relationship because you wont get it with that mind set. Do I have to not be so focused on girls? How can I stop being needy for girls but still actively approach and study on how to get them? How do I reverse this chasing behavior?

P.S. Girls always say I'm lame but i can't see it, and they think that, i always hear it from girls.I feel awkward and lame. What do I do to not be a lame and awkward?

Oh I almost forgot Im new at trying to get girls at the club, I usually just chill and have girls come to me. Should I ask them if they want to dance or just come from behind and start grinding on their ass?

:) Thank You

Chase Amante's picture

Being Lame

Author

Wolf-

Hard to say what girls mean by "you're lame"; they could be using it as a term of endearment (e.g., if you use cheesy humor), or they could be using it as a put-down. They also may be using it if they want you to DO something with them but you aren't moving fast enough / are missing escalation windows... this can be a way of expressing frustration at trying to get a guy to take action but having nothing come of it.

On dancing / clubbing, see the two articles linked to in the comment just above yours here.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Hi Chase I reaching a


Hi Chase I reaching a sticking point here you see the problem is I don't know which process to follow since I'm a teen and live with my parents and me bringing a girl home would be a problem.I have to get home at a certain thing and other bull.I have a car if it's any help.

Grazie

Chase Amante's picture

Escalation with Bad Logistics

Author

Anon-

See this article - should help for your situation: Sex Logistics: How to Get Intimate in Unusual Places.

Chase

Suavios's picture

Amazing


First time commenter, love the site.

This particular page here is gold my friends. This facial expression thang work like magic.

I read everything and tried it all out in front of my ex-girlfriends left behind make up mirror (thanks babe!). I noticed my right eyebrow was more active than my left one, moving faster and more. Must be because I once trained myself to be able lift that eyebrow inquisitively, in isolation from the rest of my face, so those neural pathways where very active compared to the other eyebrow. This was making it hard to get the exact look I wanted. So I spent two weeks training all the muscles in my face to be able to move them as I wish. Also kept trying these facial epxressions A LOT till a few of them started to stick so that I can do them quite well without thinking too much. In general I gained a lot more control over my face, and tried some face yoga excersizes too. So far so good, but I hadnt had a chance to test them out.

Until today... I tried 'cute and sexy' out on a cute and sexy babe, and it was amazing. It felt like I was seducing her just by looking at her and a low level sexual energy was flowing almost instantly between us as we talked. I played it cool for the rest and would let her hang here and there without saying anything, so she had to pick up the convo, and she just started showing interest, investing and dropping IOIs all over the place. Of course, my body language game was tight due to some reading here and corretive measures taken, but my talking game was mediocre, nothing to write home about. It didnt matter what I was saying though. Getting this positive feedback from the girl had the effect that my whole demenaor became even more confident, so its got a pile on effect. This stuff can change your life if you put some effort in. Thanks Chase.

Anonymous's picture

Glasses


Hi Chase, nice article. just wondering if glasses may be a problem
when doing sexy facial expression? I wear glasses(contacts
are not an option) and they sometimes cause problems when doing eye contact. help please.

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase, I'm good at the


Hey Chase, I'm good at the intense look, it's natural for me since my face is somewhat aggresive by itself and it has worked sometimes but most of the time it scares women off, the break eye contact, they get intimidated. Is that when I should talk to them? When should I use the intense look so they see it as power?

What expression is good when crossing from girls in campus?

Also knowing my face I think I would intimidate girls with the Sexy Pouty Look, how should I use it? Thanks great article like always!

Danny's picture

mouth expressions


Hey chase how about expressions you can do with you mouth to make you look more sexy and alluring, or that could be your default mouth expression ?

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