Why Do Guys So Often Take Girlfriends Right After Major Pickup Breakthroughs? | Girls Chase

Why Do Guys So Often Take Girlfriends Right After Major Pickup Breakthroughs?

Chase Amante

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pickup breakthrough
Like clockwork, a guy makes a breakthrough in game – then gets a girlfriend. And before he solidifies his gains, the gains are gone. Why’s this happen?

I talked to Hector the other day about a phone coaching student of his. His student had just begun to break through a barrier he’d been stuck at, began to get more and hotter girls, and then... he jumped into a monogamous relationship.

It’s a trend in seduction. I’ve witnessed it innumerable times over the past dozen years. I used to hear grizzled old veterans make dire warnings against it on hoary old seduction boards: “Be careful, because right when it finally starts to come together for you, that is when you’ll take a girlfriend and drop out of the game.”

A few years in, I’d see a guy pop back onto forums after having vanished for a year or two. And you’d see him and be like, “Oh yeah... that guy! I think he was just starting to get good before, right? What happened?” Invariably, he’d explain that he’d gotten into a relationship before, just as he was peaking... but now it was over, the girl and he had split up, and he was easing back into the swing of things again... except now he had to climb back up to that barrier he’d been breaking through a year or more before. And now he had to try to break through that barrier all over again.

And I would see this happen, time and again, and say to myself, “Why don’t guys just hold out a couple more months? Why not solidify their breakthroughs and make them permanent first? Why do so many men rush off to monogamy as soon as they break through? And how exactly do all these chicks identify the guys who hit new heights and so efficiently snap them up off the market the moment these guys break through?

There are a bunch of questions here, and they’re worth looking into if you’re hard at work on your skill set with women... and want to make sure it’s a skill set you keep, rather than one you find yourself trying to recover lost ground in later on.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

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Comments

Anonymous's picture

Goddammit Chase. Now I want pizza.

Ericj55921's picture

Dude this makes sense, ive been having trouble with approaching for the past couple of years and recently girls are nice and flirty with me when I approach them, they ask me questions they continue conversations with me when I can't find anything to say, and they are more generally in a good mood, this is an awesome upgrade from last year and a couple of years ago. It's awesome. Haven't dated yet but I can make more approaches, flirt pass loving shit tests like I tried to do today, aside from the newbie assignment and asking a girl if shes single, how else can I refine my approaches so I can start dating Chase?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Eric-

Good to hear you've made steady improvement!

If women engage with you, ask you questions, etc., you should be able to get them out on dates (and back home). Reaching the hook point is one of the most vital steps - sounds like you reach it consistently.

Do you follow a process? Have you tried moving faster along that process?

I reckon at this point for you it's mostly going to come down to "Do you approach girls, follow your process, and ask them out on dates? Then once on those dates, do you escalate and invite them home?"

For gradual/incremental improvement, yes, the newbie assignment is good. Other tools:

It's also very helpful to get into an 'exploratory' mindset and set out to find your niche. Once you find a suitable niche, you start to progress much faster.

Chase

Marty 's picture

Haha I probably should have read this 3 years ago!

Sz's picture

1.Do you think that persistence leads to a break through, can you get it by just going out so much consistently? Or only if you analyze what has worked for you?

2.How long would you say it takes to reach and keep a breakthrough?

3. When you talk to a lot of girls say at the club, what are you talking about exactly? And do you use the same conversation with the other 10 girls you talk to that night, rinse and repeat? Id like to know what you talk about to many women in the club from your personal experience.

4. It seems that we should be running one sided monogamy, especially if we're beginners. I know you don't want to teach us, but it seems like it kind of is the only way to get better because I know we should have many relationships and many partners, we need both, so we have to do it.

Do we have to learn this on our own and try it out? I know that I read before when you're in a relationship you should still keep the skills sharp, but do you really want to have all those numbers go to waste?

I'd really like to know how to make this one sided monogamy work, so I don't feel like I'll never get better because I'm not sleeping with random women, but I still want that girl that I can have in a relationship.

5. Lastly, I've been trying to slow my speech down, I haven't made it super slow, but it's slow enough that I actually forget what I'm about to say. It's either I talk fast or I talk slow, but forget what to say.

Any tips?

Thanks!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

SZ-

Blind persistence often will not lead to breakthroughs. I have met men who went out religiously for years, approached thousands of women, and got no better. The formula is work smart + work hard = improvement/success. If you only have one half that formula, you will usually not succeed.

Reaching breakthroughs is wholly dependent on where you are and what you're going for. If you're going for the breakthrough of "approach my first girl cold", for instance, you might go out and do it today, or it might take you six months to work up to it. Different guys start at different places and battle different demons.

Keeping a breakthrough happens once you've repeated it enough times to be sure it's replicable. How many repetitions are needed depends, again, on the man and where he's at. But it seems like for a lot of guys, once he's replicated a breakthrough three or four times, it's more or less set. e.g., if you have the "if I go hard and look for signals and keep meeting women, I will often find a girl to pick up" breakthrough, and you do ten more nights where you go out determined to pull or bust and you pull on three or four of those nights, you'll have cemented that breakthrough.

When you talk to a lot of girls say at the club, what are you talking about exactly? And do you use the same conversation with the other 10 girls you talk to that night, rinse and repeat? Id like to know what you talk about to many women in the club from your personal experience.

Usually pings. "How's your night going", "So what's the occasion", "Head anywhere interesting before you got here / going anywhere interesting later", etc. You'll get into light chitchat, small talk, find out a little about where girls are from or what they're up to, or you might ping them on sexual openness early on, whatever your angle is. And if they don't bite you move on. Maybe after trying a compliance test to see if they'll move with you or give you another big piece of investment first; if not, you move on.

You will usually not have too many in-depth conversations with girls in clubs. If you have three or four long, in-depth conversations with different girls in a club and don't pull any of them home, you're probably not moving fast enough. Uninterested women should screen themselves out fairly early on.

Lastly, I've been trying to slow my speech down, I haven't made it super slow, but it's slow enough that I actually forget what I'm about to say. It's either I talk fast or I talk slow, but forget what to say.

Any tips?

I've not dealt with this myself, but it sounds like the kind of thing you can expect will work itself out with practice.

I just want to know is there anything different id have to do because of my age, like something i should focus on more? Try something different?or am I good to just do them all normally?

The last one.

I would tell you the same thing if you were 75, too.

Chase

Sz's picture

Fuck it, I know what I want in life and I'm not gonna let it stop me no matter what.

I still want to do everything you recommend men in their 20s to do from your forum.

I want to do all of them now. Despite my age.

I just want to know is there anything different id have to do because of my age, like something i should focus on more? Try something different?or am I good to just do them all normally?

Thanks!

Bolt's picture

I notice a lot of Pick up and seduction articles based on getting with married women and girls who have boyfriends. You should write an article about the other side of the equation, what about married men or men in ltr's who want to game single women or other women. How do you screen for women who don't care. How do you manage that without having your ltr go to shit. How do you get with coworkers who you might be attracted to if you're in a ltr. That would be a decent article concept!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Bolt-

Would be an interesting topic. However, it's a little too far on the sleaze-o-meter, so far as I'm concerned.

Generally, we won't touch either:

  • How to bang married women, or
  • How to bang other women when you're already married

I realize men do it, and there are various reasons and justifications. And it is a normal or semi-normal thing. I'm not going to be the guy wagging his finger and saying "Oh, this is bad" or "This is okay."

However, I don't know there's a good way to teach it without crossing over a line I'd rather not cross. I suppose if you needed a justification, it would be that the risk we're giving guys tools that end up wrecking families is not worth the reward of guys being able to get a little extra poon. If they do that on their own, that's one thing. But if even one set of kids loses their dad to divorce because Chase wrote an article called "how to bang hotties when you've got a wife", I don't want to have contributed to that.

There'll always be guys who take the stuff here and use it for that purpose anyway. I just do not want to encourage it. If that makes sense.

Chase

SacredPhoenix's picture

I remember I had a slump before discovering girlschase. I studied the techniques and got a 9. Banged her and a month later were living together. 6 months later it was over. Took me a while to get back in sync. Do you feel as though after every slump , when you get back in the field do we have a Natural Game?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

SacredPhoenix-

Living together in a month is fast! Although if she's gorgeous and into you, can be hard to resist that, I know. Didn't last, but sounds like you've since bounced back... I assume you're in good shape now.

I think your question was supposed to be "when you get back in the field are you fully instinctive"?

If that's it, then yes... Time off from study and practice gets you out of a mechanical mindset. But anything you'd learned well enough before your break becomes engrained. It turns instinctive. If you did not learn it well enough before the break, you forget it.

So if you were studying and practicing right when the break hit, usually you'll retain whatever you'd already engrained to that point. But the most recent material you'd been working on you'll often lose (along with the latest breakthrough).

Like riding a bike. But also like riding a bike, if you learned a few tricks right before you quit riding for half a year, odds are you'll have to start learning those tricks from scratch again once you get back to it. Your older tricks, though, you ought to still remember just fine. (though occasionally something might throw you off - confidence got shaken, etc. Then it takes longer to get back into it)

Chase

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