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Do you go out to meet girls, but just waste time? Here are the 10
most
common ways guys twiddle thumbs instead of collect digits.
Think about the last time you went out to meet girls: did you waste any time?
Did you waste a lot of time?
Of that last outing of yours, how much time did you actually spend meeting women, versus... Not meeting women?
This isn’t to say you need to be an approach machine. And it’s perfectly fine, healthy, and normal to go out with friends just to go out with friends, or even to go to the bar just to have a drink and be around people. But if your objective is to meet women, there are a lot of ways you can waste time... And a lot of ways you can turn a promising night into a big, fat zero.
This article’s primarily aimed at picking up girls in bars and clubs, but much of the advice in here is applicable to day game as well (and I’ll use day game examples along with night game ones).
So, if you want to be more aware of things you do to procrastinate and delay, instead of meet your future naked bedmate, here are 10 of the most egregious ones guys are guilty of.
Comments
Logistics
Hey Chase,
What about girls who are in groups?
Groups of other girls, guys or mixed.
Are they wasted of time and might as well ignore them?
I remember you saying "Girls who look bored and scan around in groups are approach invitation"
Hmm, most groups I've encountered are well engaged. And well you know, in early stages, I shall plunge into death to learn! And this is what I found it this year.
I walked up, and they socially adeptly answered me politely before continuing their conversation leaving me there. As expected :) I tried it a number times to see if anything is different, girls only, guys, and mixed, but not much result.
The guy one was funny btw since one of them was her boyfriend...didn't see that one coming. ;)
Girl one is cockblocking if you hit on the wrong girl that doesn't like you in the group when the leader likes you.
But most experiences were like that, especially ones with girls I like. It feels like a "Oops, a group, can't go there" situation. Combine that with girls in groups sitting on the bus engaged and I'm already seated. Double the risk and not much win there.
Apply this to clubs with loud music and different moods. Are groups just a waste of time?
Re: A hilarious scenario
On the bus, I made eye contact with a girl who gave me a look, you know, that look.
I was just about to flirt back when some guy boards and walks in front of her view.
Then I thought, ok, let's go over and see what happens, but then...
her adjacent seats were also occupied! She was also sitting on the inside.
So I let it go.
As I got off, she looked at my direction again, and I caught it and smiled at her, then left.
Any thoughts on these dilemmas?
I just hate an opportunity wasted, but I don't want to approach it in a way that will lose the odds anyway (i.e. leaning in to chat, chatting while a person is between = awkward, and her sitting, me standing, train moving = loud noises, hence yelling).
But I don't want to give up. There has to be a way.
Perhaps it's just me making excuses like the guys in your illustrations.
Thanks,
Lawliet
p.s. I saw a sign today about "unwanted touching" warning on the train today. Should I avoid pre-opening if she's sitting next to me on the train?
Girls in Groups, Tough Bus Logistics, Pre-Opening When Seated
Lawliet-
Not wasted time at all. Well, assuming she's interested in you and available to you, of course:
You can get girls from engaged groups. I've slept with my fair share of girls who were engrossed in conversation and hadn't even noticed me when I spotted them. Usually you need a wingman to distract one or more of their friends while you go after the girl you want, though, unless it's a more subdued conversation. And it's technically more difficult - not something you should spend too much time on until you're reasonably advanced, since there's more social ninjitsu going on.
You will meet girls with boyfriends present, yes. But that happens even if you approach girls solo (especially in bars. People drink more and have to go pee, or they see their buddies and go off to say hi, or they run to the bar to fetch drinks. Girlfriend's all alone, you see a girl standing by herself and think, "Checkmate." Two minutes into the conversation, boyfriend shows up with a couple of cocktails for them).
Adjacent seats occupied: can you sit in front, then turn around and chat her up? I've done this a few times, and assuming you're cool, it's fine. You just act like you know her at first, and everyone is like, "Oh, it's okay, this guy knows her." And then you start asking her some getting-to-know-you questions, and you can see the people next to her being like, "Huh? Did he just meet her?"
Then you either trade contact info (if you're getting off or she is) or ask one of the people to move to sit next to her (if it's going well).
If there's no adjacent seats, you can take the ballsy approach: walk up, lean against the seats on the outside, and talk to her in an enthusiastic way: "Hi! Hey, I just, I had to come talk to you. Where you headed?" If you were right and it is 'on', she'll get excited. If her response is excited, then the next move is to immediately turn to one of the people next to her and say, "Hey, can I switch seats with you? Do you mind taking my seat over there so I can plop down here?" If they say yes, you sit and chat, if they say no, you chuckle and say okay, then just stand there and talk over them for a minute, make a little light chit-chat with her, and say, "Okay, I can't stand here and talk over people the whole ride. What stop are you getting off at? [wait for her answer] Okay, let's trade cells."
Pre-opening if she's next to you: yeah, usually don't pre-open girls who are already next to you. It's a little too much when she's already in your proximity. She's noticed you already. You just pre-open when she hasn't noticed you yet and doesn't know you're there so you aren't surprising her. It's to give her a chance to check you out before you say anything.
Chase
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