Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

What Caused the Trust Collapse Between Women and Men?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

men women trustA recent article on loneliness exploded to the top of Hacker News (the Reddit-like programming and entrepreneurship newsboard). The article clearly struck a chord. The thrust of the article was that the decline of the family has led to an epidemic of lonely people.

In the comment section below the article, a reader had this to say:

After numerous attempts to find a reasonable/semi-normal female "life-companion" I gave up at 50. I tried to overlook the hostility and conceit they had towards men in general at first, until neurosis and personality disorders would reveal themselves later - if the relationship got that far. I felt like I was in a competition and she was determined to "win".

It's many things, but the enmity and distrust that feminism has caused between men and women is by far the most significant contributor. Men are the "enemy" that must be defeated. Why are the majority of homeless white men? They surrendered.

It's a sentiment that seems to be bursting out of the stitches among more and more people. Women express similar sentiments as often as men -- this isn't a purely male issue.

At the core of it, the real center of the issue, is the cultural phenomenon of 'trust collapse'.

The great tragedy of our time is this breakdown in trust between the people... and, particular to this website's mission, the breakdown in trust between the sexes. When the sexes trust each other, anything is possible. When they do not, society comes undone at the seams.

The sexes have battled throughout history; a little tension is nothing new. Yet rarely does the fight grow as embittered as it's today become.

Today more and more women are distrustful toward men. They worry there are rapists behind every tree. They opine that women are paid less than men (and thus, implicitly undervalued). They jump when a stranger approaches, or chide men not to walk up to them in the first place. At the same time, they wonder where the good men have gone, and instruct men that now that they are ready to marry, it's time for those men to be ready too.

Just as women's trust in men has crumbled, so too has men's in women. Many men fear false accusations of harassment (described as "sometimes just a different perspective" in this article), false accusations of sexual assault, or false accusations of rape. Men with good careers walk on eggshells around female colleagues, wary not to become easy prey for unscrupulous corporate climbers (all a woman has to do is say a man did something to her, the same way the football player feigns injury to penalize his opponent and benefit his own team). Many men fear the power women wield in marriage courts, and the loss of their children and assets and lives in the event of a divorce. Some swear off marriage under current Western law; others swear off dating entirely. In a recent 'sexual harassment backlash' survey by the very feminist Lean In organization, 60% of male managers report now being uncomfortable mentoring, working alone with, or socializing outside of work with female employees.

While not everyone has caught it as bad as the more sensitive (and paranoid) among us, everyone has felt it to some extent. And plenty have felt it to large extent... between 2008 and 2018, a mere 10 year gap, the number of 18-29 year old men not having sex in America rocketed up from 10% of them to a whopping 28%.

As the relations between the sexes have increasingly frayed, more and more individuals have come out as preferring their own same sex instead. That number increased by 17% in only four years, between 2012 and 2016. Among millennials, in 2012, 5.8% were homosexual; just four years later, in 2016, a full 7.3% were out of the closet (so much for the ol' "only 1-2% of the population is gay" chestnut you used to hear, huh?). And the fertility rate in the U.S. hits new all-time lows pretty much every year.

How do make heads or tails of all this?

What is happening to the mating market in the West?

Is there any sense we can make of this at all, or is it all just a bunch of unfathomable deep civilizational processes, layers beneath layers, impossible to peel back?

Well, we're going to peel the layers back. And we'll see if we can arrive at an understanding of just what's afoot in all these tremors we've felt in the modern mating market.

Fortunately, there are white polished stones that lead the way us to follow. Let's see where those stones lead.

Tactics Tuesdays: The 'Too Distracted' Opener

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

too distracted by you opener
A simple, fun, direct opener to use on girls who are stationary and alone. "I'm too distracted by you" puts the blame on HER for being too cute.

This is a little gem from the old mASF seduction forums (credit: Lifeguard).

It goes like this: you're out somewhere and see a pretty girl, so you approach, give your name, tell her she distracted you with her cuteness, and ask her name.

Example:

You're in the café and see a girl. You approach her and tell her, "Hi, I'm Lucas. I was sitting over there trying to read my book but I am too distracted by how cute you are. What's your name?"

This opener combines direct with situational relevance, so it's to-the-point but still grounded.

It's also versatile (useful in a lot of different situations), as we'll see just below.

14 Best-Ever Self-Help Books to Help You Grow as a Person

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

self-help books
The answers to life’s questions are found in the best self-help books. Want your brain to work better all-around? Want to be more interesting? Start with these.

It’s time for a list of my favorite and best self-help books for men. Because when’s the last time you read a book?

The average American reads 2.5 books per year, and 25% don’t read any. So if you’re like me and read 20 or more books a year, you’re basically a genius-level Renaissance man.

When people ask what I attribute my success to (with women and life), I tell them “BOOKS.”

Books taught me how to think, talk, and pay my way around the world. If I had a choice between a lifetime of books or easy sex – I’d choose books.

“I don’t know, Tony. I get tired when I read. I fall asleep. I prefer podcasts and audiobooks.”

I hear that a lot; men get “tired” when reading. It’s because their brains are flabby. Reading a proper book is like the fat, lazy dude going to the gym, pushing weights for five minutes then going home to “rest” because he’s “tired.”

There’s an intellectual joy from reading long-form books. I just don’t get the same feeling from audiobooks, podcasts, or YouTube. There’s nothing wrong with those mediums; they’re great, too. But something magical happens to your brain when you read books (click here for science).

You can also read at your own speed to ensure comprehension and retention.

For guys who love to read but only read non-fiction, studies have shown fiction helps with intellect, empathy, and imagination. So reading fiction will help with your game, too, as fiction lets you see (imagine) from another’s perspective.

This list of books is subjective, by the way. They’re not really the best self-help books ever. After all, there’s no such thing, really, as it depends on what you're looking to help yourself with.

Girls Who Want to Sleep with You Usually Know It Right Away

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girls know right away
When you walk up, and she looks up at you, she knows if she could go to bed with you later. What comes after is simply leading her there, and making her feel allowed to go.

There are two schools of thought when it comes to sex.

One school of thought is what you might call the 'normal guy school'. In this school, a woman will not go to bed with you until you have 'gotten her ready'. The ways a normal guy tries to make a woman want him / tries to 'get her ready' include:

  • Spending time with her
  • Connecting enough with her
  • Making her laugh
  • Showing her whom he is
  • Displaying valuable things about himself
  • Communicating to her she 'qualifies' for him

Once she has seen enough of the guy's good qualities, goes this school of thought, she will then open up to the idea of sex.

The other school of thought though is what we might call the 'lover school'. In this school, if a woman is going to go to bed with you, she knows it the moment you approach. You still will end up doing things like:

  • Spending time with her
  • Connecting enough with her
  • Making her laugh
  • Showing her whom you are
  • Displaying valuable things about yourself
  • Communicating to her she 'qualifies' for you

However, these actions serve the purpose of moving things along and getting her comfortable enough to let her guard down with you. They are not to 'make her want you'... not really.

Because she already wanted you. You're just trying to help her feel like it's okay to give into what she wants.

Although the actions are superficially the same, the intentions behind these actions are dramatically different between these two men. These intentions drive differences in how the man carries out these actions, how much of them he feels he needs, and how fast with women he thinks he can move.

The more you think like the men in the second school of thought (the lover school), the more natural, easy, and fluid you will find getting together with new women becomes.

2 Strategies for Making a Move on a Girl

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

get laid make a move
You should never wait for a girl to make a move toward sex. That’s your job. These two move-making strategies will help you get the job done in most situations.

Should I pull the trigger? Should I make a move?

It’s a hard question. A question anyone in the field asks themselves often about girls – particularly if the girl is cute and the interaction seems to be going the right way.

So, what do I mean by pulling the trigger? It is making a direct move to push the interaction toward intimacy and sex. That big step depends on the situation, the girl, and you.

Making a move could mean:

No matter which one you are dealing with, it can be the gateway to the next level in your interaction.

If you fail to make a move, you will likely not get the girl. Reread this, because it is important:

“If you do not make a move, you will not get the girl.”

If you don’t make a move, three things will happen:

  • If you are lucky, the interaction goes stale – not forward but at least not backward

  • If you are unlucky, she will get bored or think you are weak and lose attraction for you

  • If you are very unlucky, she will bail and hook up with another guy. If your night truly is crap, she will do it in front of your face. But if it makes you feel any better, let me tell you that this happens to all of us

Now let's get to the finer points.

How Self-Esteem Issues Make Women Back Out of Sex

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

self-esteem and sex
Women get self-conscious about their bodies and pussies, which is why you need to make her feel comfortable, or her insecurities can force her out of the situation.

We are in Part 3 of our exploration of sex and female self-esteem.

In Part 1, I described two examples of the seduction falling apart in the last moments of courtship – right as sex was about to happen and the girl was excited and expecting it.

In Part 2, we discussed different ways that self-esteem issues can pop up before a guy invites a girl home.

Now in Part 3, we’ll look closely at what happens in the bedroom – the most vulnerable moment for a woman’s self-esteem.

A guy should be aware of a girl’s self-esteem throughout any scenario with her – especially in the bedroom. In a dating situation, the self-esteem issue is more convoluted because it’s easy to misunderstand the difference between your game versus the girl’s self-esteem, and it's hard to know when and how to make moves.

Sometimes your best intentions to influence a girl’s self-esteem positively can backfire and send the opposite message, making her self-esteem drop in response.

9 Ways to Make the Missionary Position Explosively Good

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

missionary sex position
The missionary position has a reputation of being ‘boring’ when in fact it's the most ‘intimate’ sex position there is. To make it explosively orgasmic, use these tips.

Ah, the missionary position. The granddaddy of all bangin’ styles. Old Betsy, the reliable.

It doesn’t get the fame and love of other positions like doggy style, 69, the fire hydrant, or the twin dragon meets rabid butterfly technique (banned in the UK).

It may seem vanilla at first glance, just laying on top of a girl and thrusting – boooooring!

But I assure you, there are many ways to make missionary style mindblowing for both you and your partner.

How Abstraction Can Help You Connect Better with Women

Darwin Niwrad's picture

By: Darwin Niwrad

abstraction and women
Women can seem hopelessly complicated, but if you check off some basic ideas, you’ll display enough understanding to allow them to bring their walls down for you.

When you learn how to drive a car, you don’t need to know how to put the engine together or memorize the available horsepower at particular RPMs. You don't need to know how the cylinders are operating, or understand the function of the pistons – you just drive.

This is abstraction, the general concept that applies to things of the same nature, or in this example, of how similar machines with four wheels generally operate.

You use abstraction every day in the real world, without even realizing it. This same concept pertains to women and pickup. I’m not saying women are as simple as cars, that’s far from the point, but what I am trying to help you understand is this: there are general rules that are basic to interacting with women that apply to all women. From dating to screwing, there are core rules that can give you better results and get you further in your mission of acquiring pussy or just having women around.

We will use the concept of abstraction to take a relatively complex system like women and try to simplify our efforts to interact sexually with these beautiful creatures.

So how exactly can we apply abstraction to women?

Tactics Tuesdays: Zero Small Talk Flirtation

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

zero small talk
Don’t get stuck in boring go-nowhere conversations with girls. Ditch the small talk, and flirt with ‘small talk zero’ instead.

This is for any guy who runs into this issue:

You're in a situation, start to talk to a girl, make small talk about the setting/situation, then get trapped in a platonic conversation where you talk about boring situational things that neither you nor the girl care about. She loses interest and slips away.

If this happens to you, there's an easy tactic you can use, and that is to go 'small talk zero'. Instead of make small talk, your entire early conversation consists of flirtatious banter.

Sometimes you can make small talk work perfectly fine, especially if you are confident in how you do it and don't spend too long on it. However, if you're nervous, or don't feel in control of the situation, it's easy to fall into a small talk loop, where small talk leads to more small talk, which leads to boredom, and women leaving.

Since we don't want attractive women leaving, instead of getting trapped in an endless small talk loop, we can use 'zero small talk' flirtation instead.