Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Tactics Tuesdays: Leave Her Alone 2 Minutes

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

leave her come back
If you run into resistance with a girl, instead of plow through, step away a moment... to let her fix her resistance herself.

Usually when you meet a girl, you don't want to leave her. If you leave her, she might leave herself! Some other guy might dash in to steal her away. Her emotions toward you may cool. There's no telling what could happen.

So, you will tend to be with her straight through. Straight to the point you take her contact info, then say farewell. Or straight to the point you invite her home (then take her there).

Once she's home with you, you'll be at her side the whole time too. You want her to get comfortable with you, after all. She can't get comfortable with you when you're not there.

Thus, this tactic might seem a smidge counterintuitive.

Yet if you want to solidify her commitment to you, and get her to value you more, this one'll do that.

And all you have to do to use it is (at the proper moment) leave her alone for two (2) minutes.

3 Potent Frame Control Tips to Supercharge Your Game

Daniel Adebayo's picture

By: Daniel Adebayo

seduction frame control
The ability to set frames and get women to qualify to them is a powerful seduction tool. Here are 3 frame control techniques to accomplish just that.

When you become a great conversationalist, the women you meet consistently view you as exciting and interesting to talk to. You’ll have little to no trouble reaching the hook point with the gorgeous girls you’d like to take to bed. And since most men aren’t willing to put in the work to master the art of conversation, you will stand out.

Another advantage of maximizing your conversation skills is attaining the intuitive ability to set strong frames in your seductions. You won’t miss a beat or even pause to think about what you’re going to say next. Once you become a great conversationalist, you’ll find that sexually persuasive frames – like frames to accelerate a progression toward intimacy – will roll off your tongue effortlessly.

Setting the right kinds of frames is an essential part of mastering the art of seductive conversation.

In this article, we’ll discuss three very persuasive and versatile frame control techniques you can add to your arsenal. Read on, and you can start using them today to give your seductions an extra layer of persuasive power!

Before You Can Learn, First You Must Deprogram Unhelpful Beliefs

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

deprogramming bad beliefs
Before you can put new beliefs in, first you must push past old bad beliefs that conflict. But what if you don’t even know you have them?

There are two sides to learning.

On the one hand, there's learning something new. This side is important. You need to learn new strategies to get what you want. You need new techniques. You must give yourself new mindsets, new behaviors, and new mental models. All this is vital.

There's another side though that's a lot more overlooked. This side is in many ways even more important than the first side (learning), because without it, the first side is tough or impossible. This second side is that of unlearning. It is the art of deprogramming.

Everyone knows when a cult member makes it out of a cult, he has to go through a long period of deprogramming. This is worst for children raised within that cult, where the cult is all they've ever known. People raised in a religion who reject that religion go through it. People raised outside religion who later embrace it go through it too. The unlearning -- the deprogramming -- is as crucial as and in many ways more crucial than the learning. Until a man deprograms himself of old beliefs, he doesn't have the room to take on much in the way of new ones.

Deprogramming lies at the heart of switching from an ineffective way of trying to get what you want to an effective way.

Yet, sometimes, some men are wholly resistant to deprogramming.

And when you can't deprogram a man, you can't reprogram him either.

Which is bad for all sorts of reasons, if his old program is not a good, useful, helpful one for him.

Get People to Like You and Be Cool: Use the Spotlight! (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

Being the center of attention is an amazing feeling. Everyone enjoys it, even if they don’t want to admit it.

It feels good for everyone to be paying attention to you and to laugh, smile, and stare at your performance as a social being.

I don’t care how introverted you are or how “too cool for groups” you are – you love attention. We all do.

So this is how you GET the spotlight and how you USE it.

It is a tool like everything.

So let’s learn how to use this tool.

Female State Control (FSC): Preemptive Measures

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

female state control
In our continuing study of Female State Control, we consider methods to avoid it entirely, including better calibration and focusing more on frame control than arousal.

Hey, guys. Welcome back.

In my previous post, I discussed a new and different form of resistance that we labeled Female State Control (FSC). This form of resistance is very common, different from the other more well-known resistance type called anti-slut defense or ASD. The difference is that ASD deals with her defense mechanism against slut-shaming and other negative social consequences related to female promiscuity.

FSC is a biological mechanism that helps women make rational choices about sex partners. Women tend to get easily carried away in their emotions, and that is usually beneficial to their purpose of nurturing and also grants them a higher emotional intelligence (EQ) than men. Strong emotions can help her make good decisions (emotions hindering rational decision-making is not always true; often, it is quite the opposite). However, when emotions seem to be too strong (too much of the good stuff), there is a potential risk of her getting carried away, hence increasing the chance of making an irrational choice.

We must understand that women are instinctively more risk-averse than men, partly because of the higher risks they may experience during pregnancy. Therefore, it is imperative that women are more selective than men when it comes to choosing a mate.

So, whenever a woman is getting carried away, she has an underlying conscious voice that forces her to pull herself out of situations where she can get carried away, by:

  • Resisting
  • De-escalating the vibe
  • Going to the bathroom
  • Having her friend cockblock her
  • And so on

These actions allow her to gain control of her emotions and make a rational choice. This is FSC.

How to Recover when a Girl Flakes, Pt 1: Types of Flakes

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

recover from flakes
Girls flake for a variety of reasons, legitimate or otherwise. How does one figure out which and respond accordingly to maximize the odds of finally meeting up?

On the Girls Chase boards, reader Dark Knight was asking what to do and how to deal with a girl flaking – specifically how to recover. Flakes are one of the more frustrating courtship issues that guys deal with; especially for newbies who don’t yet have the skills to have a funnel of women. Quite simply, if you don't have absolute abundance, a flake can feel like a huge missed opportunity and a big failure on your end.

Dark Knight describes what confuses him about flakes:

I think most of us are familiar with Chase’s article on "What to Do When Girls Flake.” And I believe it is good advice, but there is one key ingredient missing and that’s about how to follow up on flakes. In the article the girl Chase mentions is extremely apologetic, but lots of times there are also girls who try to act like nothing happened. If you don’t call her out, it just gets “forgotten,” which of course is not true, but convenient for the girls narrative. This makes it like comparing oranges to apples. Because at this point it feels like it’s damned if you do and damned if you don’t. For this reason the article becomes confusing for a lot of guys. I have read some comments across the board but they are quite varied and spread out, which prevents it to be a coherent entity.

Suppose:

You arranged a date, girl agrees to it: then flakes out. 

*If you act like it’s not a big deal it’s fine and dandy: BUT you can kiss your scarcity goodbye. There is a big risk in being friend zoned, or put unto the backburner, because you give the girl an opportunity to postpone. In the past I even had this happen with girls who seemed very interested, but because they avoided committing since they do not like risks and maybe they hope for some kind of mythical white prince around the corner: they postponed. Of course when I next them, they fly into a rage. Yeah, that’s how it tends to go. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. The only option seems to be if we put it in context with Chase’s advice, staying warm but maybe less available? I believe however the longer things get drawn out the more they fizzle out.

*If you reschedule fast, again you kill your value and officially become chasing guy. If you don’t reschedule the girl will probably try to get some attention and you effectively move backwards, which again is bad.

*Acting butthurt: Lowers your value and attainability, good luck with giving someone a good validation boost and shooting yourself in the foot.

I think I have summarized this as best as I can. I would really love to see an article which gives some good tactical advice about how to follow this up. Because right now my default is moving on to the next girl, unless the flaking girl REALLY tries to make up again. But even then, I can be too impatient, I don't enjoy “long game.” Whatever the hell that means.

I can empathize with Dark Knight. As a guy, you’re likely very excited about seeing a girl who agrees to go on a date with you. While flaking on a date might seem like a big deal, it shouldn’t be for most guys if you’ve done the attraction work correctly from the start. There are a couple situations in which girls will flake on a guy. Depending on which, you either have a good shot at seeing her again as long as you stay mentally strong, persistent, are warm, and understand her circumstances. Other times, you’ll learn that she wasn’t nearly as attracted to you as you thought she was. This may indicate a mistake somewhere else in the process of meeting her.

Flakes can be tricky to follow up on. It’s an abrupt and unexpected stop to a courtship. Unprepared guys who react in a wrong and uncalibrated manner will find that the opportunity is suddenly gone.

Approach One Thousand Women and Believe

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

pickup seduction snake oil
Is pickup just a bunch of snake oil? No, and you should take my word for it. After you’ve approached enough girls, you’ll wonder why you ever doubted.

A reader from my newsletter messaged me: “This pickup artist stuff is a scam. All women care about is looks. Pickup guys market to the insecure, selling snake oil.”

“So, how long have you been reading my blog?” I replied.

“About two years now.”

“Why?”

“For the lols.”

For the lols. Right.

It’s the old, eternal debate. Is all this pickup stuff for real, or just a huge set of lies created to sell BS e-courses to hapless, neckbeard virgins? And unless you’re 6’5” with six-pack abs, a full head of luscious hair, and are wealthy, you’ll never get anywhere.

Sorry, you short, bald, broke, fat old bastards. No love for you (unless you buy my book, link at the bottom of this post).

Usually, you should be skeptical. Skepticism is healthy and good.

Somebody is trying to sell you on a pyramid scheme with zero chance of failure? The Earth is actually flat, says your favorite YouTuber? Meth isn’t really that bad, and if you just try it once you’ll be fine?

Skepticism keeps you from wasting your time, health, and money on things that are potentially terrible for you. However, when it comes to self-improvement, skepticism won’t help you; it will hinder your progress.

That’s why so many religions and cults thrive. They depend on the true believers. But the believers also get something from the deal. They receive a community, or message, that helps them transcend or something.

You probably just want to get laid.

When I discovered the Mystery Method, I wasn’t skeptical; not at all. Why would I be? A magician in a top hat is telling me to use negs and magic tricks to sleep with Vegas supermodels. There’s absolutely nothing there to trigger skepticism.

Here’s the thing. All this information is free. Sure, Girls Chase has a subscription and paywall, and we sell an amazing course called One Date (among others), but that’s because we employ a dozen gurus, editors, programmers, video editors, and so on. These people have to eat. But if you Google “How to pick up girls,” between blogs, forums, and YouTube videos, you’ll find decades of material you can binge on for free.

The only benefit to paying for it is to support your favorite author, pinpoint specific niche material or masterful consolidations of the essentials in one beautiful package to speed up your learning process. But you don’t need to pay for it if you don’t need to save time.

Skepticism won’t help you.

You have to ask yourself, "Do I really want to learn?" Then you have to believe in the process, fully. You must let go of all doubt and embrace the path of learning game.

Secrets to Getting Girls: Unlocking Levels with a Woman

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

unlocking levels with women
Every step of the way in dating and seduction, women have 'levels' you can unlock. And once you've unlocked a level, it stays unlocked.

In the back of your head, in every courtship you have, you must aim to unlock new levels.

A woman you've slept with is far easier to sleep with again than a woman you haven't slept with yet. This is because you've 'unlocked' the sex level with her. This is just one level, but look at how big a difference there is between women you have slept with and women you haven't.

With the woman you have slept with, you've done it together. She remembers doing it with you. And she won't have nearly the resistance to doing it with you again that a woman who's never been with you will.

Every man realizes this... at least in principle. And at least with women they've already closed the deal with.

It's why men invest a lot more time and energy into booty calling ex-girlfriends and former friends-with-benefits than they do random women from social circle or work they haven't slept with. She might not be sleeping with you currently, but if she's slept with you before, she's a lot more likely to come for a shag than a girl who hasn't bedded down with you yet.

This principle of 'unlocked levels' is also why you see so many women hung up on their exes, even when they know the guy isn't what they want, even when they have seemingly better guys pursuing them they could sleep with (then date)... yet they go back to the ex anyway.

It's why women you hooked up with once back in high school or college, when you run into them 10 or 15 years later, are still significantly easier to bed than any random woman you've just met, all things being equal (e.g., commitment status, etc.).

Once you've unlocked the 'sex' level with a woman, it's permanently unlocked (more or less).

That doesn't mean just because you've slept with a girl before, you definitely can get a repeat at any point in the future. Sometimes doors close.

But it does mean it's going to be a heck of a lot easier for you with her than with a girl you haven't gotten intimate with yet. The doors you've opened are a lot more likely to stay open to you than random closed doors are to open on their own.

But it isn't just sex that works this 'unlock the levels' way.

It's everything.

Female State Control (FSC): Theoretical Causes and Effects

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

female state control (FSC)
Women have a built-in defense mechanism against losing control and screwing the wrong guy. Let’s investigate the groundbreaking theory of Female State Control (FSC).

Hey, everyone. I hope you are all doing great. Last week we discussed a key subject in pickup and seduction, namely anti-slut defense (ASD). We define ASD as the female defense mechanism against social consequences caused by perceived promiscuous behavior. In other words, a defense mechanism that protects women against the potential slut label.

ASD helps us understand some of the causes behind female resistance toward sexual advances (in addition to feeling uncomfortable with the person or situation or simply not being that attracted to a guy; the latter is more of a rejection than a form of resistance). This is why women sometimes resist your advances despite being clearly into you.

Today we’ll discuss another form of resistance. In the future, I will cover this in detail. This form is called female state control (FSC). It has been known, at least on an intuitive level by some top seducers, but it has neither been addressed publicly nor written about in much detail. It shocks me a bit that this phenomenon is never discussed, because it is a key factor with encounters and seduction. It isn’t some weird subject that only happens to top-end seducers in rare circumstances. Beginners will also face this issue, actually more often than the pros.

As mentioned, few will discuss what I mention in this article. I know of only one guy who has put words to FSC, and his article was about a different subject. And because this subject is not discussed often, little is known. I will be honest; this is the topic I talk about the most in my seducer circles, and we still have not figured it all out. I am therefore giving you the latest, cutting-edge theory. Some elements of FSC are closely related to other well-known theories from sociology, psychology, and biology.

Here at Girls Chase we normally stick to topics we know inside out. This will be an exception because it is still a theory in development. Therefore, I will only give you the basic elements here, and expound upon it later posts when we know more and have clarity. Certainly more data needs to be collected, but we're on it!

Girls Who Want You, vs. Girls Who Are Bored-but-Available

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

available women

There are, in essence, two main classes of women you can hook up with.

The first class is the women who just want you. These women find you attractive (some, even irresistible), compelling, magnetic. There's something about you they like -- or there might be many things about you they like. They're fascinated by you the moment you walk up, or they've grown attached to you over time as they've gotten to know you. They like you, and they actively want to date you, spend time with you, connect with you, be in physical contact with you.

The second class is women who aren't particularly desirous of you, but they are available to you. Many of these women are just bored. Some of them may be available because they're out to rebel, and you fit the "If I hook up with this guy, I'll really be rebelling against Mom/society/my overbearing boyfriend" idea they have in their heads. Some may be available to you for revenge. For some it might be because they want to have an experience. In each of these cases, these women don't want you or like you so much as they want some guy... and you happen to be the best guy available who makes it easy for such a girl to satisfy her mission.

We've talked about this before on Girls Chase. But I really want to dive deep in this article on the girls in the second class.

Because a lot of guys don't even recognize how many women are out there like this at any given time. The fact is though, if you're good with girls, a lot of the women you get will likely come from this class.