Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How Your Self-Perception Can Make or Break Your Night


Early in my “career” I noticed a rather peculiar phenomenon – when I was out with guys (and gals) who saw me as a sort of master seducer (usually due to a combination of my image, behavior, and, occasionally, seeing my previous successes), I would find myself performing much better with women. Every single part of the seduction dance would become noticeably easier without any additional conscious effort on my part.

self-perception1

Would you like to guess why this happens?

Sure, being in a good mood because you’re hanging out or meeting people you like plays a significant role, and an occasional comment like “Oh yeah, he’s very experienced in bed” said jokingly in a group setting does its job to create a reputation of someone who knows what he’s doing.

But that’s not it; the change that makes the biggest impact turns out to be in our head.

You see, when I hang out with people who already see me as someone who’s successful with women and expect me to act like that, it puts a certain positive pressure and, in a way, makes it socially okay, even expected, to act sexually.

In turn, I would find myself assuming the role of a sexy guy who pulls women left and right, which, as we’ll learn later in the article, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy – cool, right?

Note that this is happening almost exclusively in our head and, more often than not, without conscious interference – a change in self-perception based on the environment.

How to Tell Whether It’s Good Advice or Bad


You have probably read a lot of posts online where different websites share conflicting ideas. Ideas and techniques you get from one place do not match the ideas you read somewhere else. In fact, you might have even read two different theories or techniques here on girlschase.com that conflict with each other. That is not unexpected.

In this post, I will discuss how you should approach this issue when you encounter it in order to make it all less confusing for you.

conflicting-advice

3 “Basics” Women Expect But Men Take Forever to Grasp


If you are finding that selling yourself to girls is tough, this article is going to help you out.

Few men know that, at the end of the day, women’s decisions about men come back to some of their most basic concerns.

It’s not about creating massive attraction and doing every step perfectly; it is more often just about a handful of basics that are so simple, you ought to slap yourself if you haven’t figured them out yet.

Bare basics on coming across well to a woman

Here area few of the basics, raw and ready for you to sculpt into truth for yourself:

The Genuine Man, Part 7: The Introspective Man


Welcome back to the journey, gentlemen.

So far, we’ve covered:

Now I’m going to teach you the single most important tool in becoming a genuine man.

Introspection.

introspection

To make any profitable progress on this path, you gotta inspect that intro. There is no exception to this. I stress the importance of introspection from more than just personal experience; every cool guy I know in my life is extremely reflective and usually quite intelligent (read: you can train intelligence).

If you find yourself wasting mental cycles on frivolity and never dedicate your time to scanning your mind for flaws that hinder the progress of your skills, genuity will never be reached. You cannot Helen Keller your way to success with women or any other pursuit in life.

For as many constantly improving superstars I know, I can name twenty more guys with amazing intelligence, skills with women, charm, and good looks, who squander their potential. They spend years recycling unproductive mental and behavioral habits that don’t bring them anywhere close to the dreams they’ve told me about. If they instead challenged their own beliefs they would find them inefficient at best, and inhibiting at worst.

Don’t be that guy. Chew on everything I teach you, or anything you read from any other author on this site. The best way I’ve found to truly evaluate an idea?

First, accept it like it’s been bequeathed upon you from the gods of seduction and debauchery.

And then rabidly test its efficiency.

Let’s get concrete.

Easy Nutritional Tracking for Six-Pack Abs


Howdy, gents!

Pardon the hiatus, as I have been busy working very diligently on a series of articles on the subject of modern marriage that you will see here very soon. But with summer fast approaching, I figured this one needed to be written sooner rather than later.

One of our forum members recently posted some pretty astonishing before and after photos of a recent body transformation. He had purchased a fairly simple workout program, and went from “gut to cut” in a little over three months’ time.

six pack abs

It was very inspiring.

When I first started studying seduction, I too decided to put myself through the same type of physical transformation. In addition to eating a healthy diet, which is what we’re going to examine in detail in this article, I decided to start working out five days per week and get myself in tip-top shape.

So yes, you definitely do want to follow some type of fitness plan. So if you haven’t happened across Ross Leon’s article “How to Build a Male Body That Drives Women Crazy” quite yet, you should probably go ahead and give that one a read.

Having six-pack abs is most certainly not an absolute requirement to seduce women. But it definitely helps, and if you’re one of the many guys out there who want the triple-B’s (Bleach Blonde Bombshells), then it is important for you to know that having a guy with great abs is definitely at or near the top of their wish list.

Many guys work out furiously five or six or even seven days per week and still cannot trim enough fat off of their bodies, and usually the reason for this is that they aren’t paying attention to what they are eating!

What to Do When a Girl is Late for a Date


late for a dateOn our discussion boards, a member named killerman has run into a situation where girls are changing date times last minute, or otherwise being late for a date. Here’s what he had to say about this:

right there’s one thing that’s really getting on my nerves these days, and it’s girls agreeing to a time but then trying to change it last minute, then being late. it’s really getting on my nerves, but the thing is how do I express it without coming across as an asshole? i understand that sometimes things crop up but sometimes it seems they do it just because they feel like it. i cant remember a girl turned up to a date on time so maybe it’s their way of testing out guys? like maybe they do it on purpose to piss us off then see if we’re genuine by expressing our discontent?

What killerman wants to know here is how to express your disapproval to a girl at having her change times or be late.

What I’d like to use his problem for is to answer, in addition to his own question, a slightly broader one: what do you do when a girl is late for a date?

Do you get mad... or storm off... play it cool... or hang in there and wait... or, do you do something else?

Why Sucking with Women Might be Good for You


I wonder how many of you fellow sexy men can identify with being a “hard case”? For how many of you is learning seduction, becoming a better, sexier man, and getting better with women not just a way to “have more control over your sex life”, but also a vital necessity, because otherwise “settling down” in the evening would be beyond your reach?

How many of you found this site not after a bad break-up (or several) but because you’ve never even had someone to have a bad break-up with in the first place?

When I first started on this path I was like that – completely, utterly terrible with women and seemingly beyond repair. So much so, that it took me YEARS just to get that first lay.

I remember thinking how much I hated the fact that I was struggling with something that came naturally to others.

Even though I had one friend at the time who impressed me immensely with his sexual conquests, his results were so far from my reality that even in my wildest dreams I couldn’t imagine that one day I’d be in a position where, like him, sex was just a few text messages and a drink or two away. Or that I’d compete with another natural buddy for the same women in bars (for mutual self-amusement) and be the one taking them home more often than not.

No, during those early years I would’ve sold my soul just to be “normal”; to find a nice, simple girl, who would like me (alright, who are we kidding, I would’ve settled with “tolerate me”); one who I could treat like a princess and be monogamous with. I had those fantasies despite knowing full well that it wouldn’t work long-term and that I would never feel fulfilled being monogamous; restrained.

suck with women

But for me even this “Plan B” was not in the cards.

It’s funny, but looking back, I consider myself to be very fortunate to not even have had the option to succumb to this temptation. Or, simply said, being completely terrible with women was one of the best things that happened in my life, as it pushed me not to resort to the seductive mistress that is mediocrity.

I’ll be frank – with this article my goal is not to teach you anything in particular, maybe just show a different way to look at your current circumstances.

This article is meant to motivate, to keep you going after a night out or a date when nothing really worked and you’re lying in your bed, lonely and wondering how much more wonderful life would be if only you could be “like normal guys” or if you “had a nice girlfriend” (or something similarly silly).

This article is also going to be very personal, as I will share some of the most embarrassing moments from my learning process and how “taking a beating” early resulted in disproportionate rewards later in life.

And in the same regard, I would like this article to be a sort of introduction. You’ve probably already seen my articles on becoming physically sexy (fashion, grooming), but the stories I’m about to share will set the context for some of the articles I will be writing in the future, and you’ll be able to have a better understanding of my background, my style, the way I do things, and, in turn, decide if that’s something you want for yourself or if maybe another author’s style is more suitable to you.

How to Ramp Up Social Momentum (and Meet Loads of Girls)


Hi everyone, hope you are doing well. If you haven’t seen many posts from me lately, it is not because I have been busy, but more that we have had a lot of article submissions from both new and old writers, which in itself should be good news for you.

The topic of today is social momentum.

Social Momentum

Social momentum is a mental state (hence also the reason many people in the seduction community refers to this as “state” – “being in state”) where you feel in a social mood where you don’t only feel like socializing with people, but also manage to do so smoothly.

When approaching strangers, you will feel like your openings are smooth as butter – the reactions you will be getting from your approaches will most of the time be positive, and if that is not the case, you won’t bother about it and move on to the next girl/group. When you have social momentum, not only will you feel a boost of energy, but you will feel very social and stop fearing rejections.

So there are a few nice benefits of social momentum:

  • You won’t fear rejections, so you will approach much more

  • Due to your higher level of initial confidence, your approaches will tend to be smoother and your success rate will be higher

  • You will have more fun, obviously

Compared to many other theories in pick-up and seduction, with this one there is a consensus that social momentum is a powerful factor. Everybody agrees that once you build enough social momentum, picking up women becomes much easier and smoother. You just feel on fire – you are the god of the night and nothing can stop you. We will discuss in this post how you can reach it.

However, where the opinion differs is our attitude toward it – should we depend on it or not? Should we give up and go home if we haven’t built social momentum? If not, what can we do if we don’t feel in the mood to socialize? All these questions and more will be answered in this post.

The Genuine Man, Part 6: A Lover Of Women


Welcome back to the path, folks. We’re making good progress.

So far in this series we’ve covered:

lover of women

And in the most recent article we examined a host of poisonous beliefs about women and how we knowingly or unknowingly cultivate these beliefs. It’s vital that you find any beliefs like this within yourself and, even more importantly, realize how they’re hindering your progress with women and your satisfaction in your relationships with them.

Egomania, the Blindness You Were Born Into


We are all infected.

The Walking Dead is one of the most popular TV-series in the world right now. It is a show about survivors of a zombie apocalypse and their struggle to stay alive... at least on the surface. However, underneath all the blood and gore is actually a show about egos and the stress we feel when things in life don’t go as planned (as usually is the case). One of the strongest themes underlying the show is growth of egomaniacal characters in their quest to “survive”.

egomania

The show brings up questions that draw a fine line between what it takes to survive and what it means to go too far. The show is just a fiction, but part of its appeal is that it reflects a lot of people’s concerns and struggles with the question of “what is really necessary?” and “what is egomaniacal?”

One of the main concepts of the show is “we are all infected”, which we can translate roughly to: we are all one mistake or slip away from becoming someone else’s nightmare. If we give up, quit, become a burden, choose an easy path to “survival”, we become the problem for the few left who haven’t.

Are we takers? Or do we walk the line?

Well, for those of you who don’t watch the show, don’t worry, I only bring it up because the topic of this article is egomania, and the famous line “we are all infected” is a good starting point for discussing it.

The number one problem beginners and intermediate guys have with seduction is that they believe they are immune to egomania and don’t need to address it. You think you couldn’t possibly be a bad guy and so never consider that it’s quite possible you are.

Beginners complain and whinge and cry about how THEY are special, about how THEY are the exception to every rule, because they are overwhelmed and surprised by the sheer aggressiveness of reality and how HARD it bitch slaps them into taking responsibility onto their shoulders.

Guys will resort to anything to avoid real improvement:

  • Ask a girl they only sort of like to marry them
  • Abandon responsibilities as a decent dad and become a drunk
  • Avoid women entirely and resort to a porn oasis to get by

Our mistakes often aren’t THAT drastic, normally it is a bit of cynicism here, a few nasty edged decisions there, and an indulgence on occasion that screws over someone you don’t know now and then.

You figure, “Hey? What is the harm?” and you get into the habit of sucking, until one day a responsibility is too big, and BAM, you become the bad guy you swore you never would be.

Egomania is a real thing and you START OFF infected.