Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

What Gay Bars Teach You About Women, Dating, and Sex

gay bar meet girls
Gay bars are wonderful places to meet girls. But more than this, they teach you about women’s true nature – and sexuality.

Reading Hector’s fantastic piece on why women like homoerotic men, I must say that I agree with his points. I found his theory on how bi-sexual and homoerotic men can come across as more dominant very interesting.

I am personally not that bi-curious. That said, I am very comfortable with physical contact; I don’t mind if a gay guy touches me, even on intimate areas. It is “just touching,” after all. Some women find homoerotism hot – but not all. However, every woman does find men who are comfortable with their sexuality hot. If a man is comfortable with a dude touching him, one can easily conclude that he is not only a very sexual guy, but also very confident.

It also displays that one does not have stuck-up beliefs related to sex and that one is most likely not homophobic (women find homophobia very unsexy). It conveys non-judgmental attitudes in regards to sex, which helps women allow themselves to open up sexually to you.

So I decided to write a follow up with my own thoughts on this topic. Since 2011, after doing a sociology assessment with a lesbian girl in senior high school regarding the gay-environment, I have not only been fascinated by gay clubs, but I have also become a regular in them. There are a few reasons for this:

  • Many gay clubs have a better women/men ratio than straight clubs

  • Hotter women

  • More sexual vibe

  • Less bullshit (less “bitchshield”) – women have their guards down

Based on all this, gay clubs can seem like a paradise... but there are some downsides, too:

  • They can sometimes become sausage fests (for obvious reasons)

  • Gay guys can be serious cockblocks – directly messing things up for you (especially if they are into you)

  • Gay guys can oftentimes be ultra annoying – i.e., constantly popping up and wanting to drink/dance with your girl while you’re trying to seduce

  • Gay clubs can be chaotic

  • You never get “freebies” (as in ovulating horny girls); those usually go to places they are most likely to meet someone (not gay clubs) – in other words, in gay clubs, it is all about skills

  • You need to pass the “are you gay” test all the time – and believe me, women will test you hard on this one

  • You need to have a good response to the “why are you in a gay bar” question

But apart from all this, I find gay clubs interesting. The vibe is uniquely good and sexual in very intriguing way.

I can write many guides on meeting women in gay bars/clubs if so desired (let me know in the comments section).

I think it is pretty niche. However, there are valuable lessons I learned in gay bars that helped me tremendously in becoming better in all venues.

But the Girls in My Country are Different

girls in my country are different
You might think your countrywomen are different. But women are women, whether you meet them in the U.S., Jordan, India, or Saudi Arabia.

Some years ago – never mind how long precisely – a 9th-grade biology book fell into my hands. With my limited reading ability and understanding, combined with my weird curiosity, I skimmed through its pages. I discovered the nervous system, cardiovascular system, lymphatic system... and then the reproductive system.

It was shocking to first learn about the weird things we do in order to produce little people in such detailed, clinical fashion. What is even more shocking was to realize that in my (at the time) few years on this Earth, I had not once stopped to wonder where babies came from. I saw them popping up here and there all the time, seemingly out of nowhere, and that did not bother me at all!

Because I was so unfamiliar with sex, the entire act was a mystery to me. Almost mystical to me. Babies seemed to just spontaneously pop out of nowhere; I could not imagine a man and a woman undressing and doing what men and women do to make babies.

Even after my big realization, the “kids popping out of nowhere” theory still made more sense to me than the reality of two people getting all naked and going at it. My culture was too strict, imposing too many complications, too many taboos to actually allow such a thing to ever happen. The picture of an innocent couple all naked and banging was too farfetched to actualize. Not surprisingly, I adopted the mentality that maybe the girls in my country are just different!

Since coming to this realization many years ago, I have learned the truths about human sexuality. And I have learned that there is so much sex happening everywhere. Yes, EVERYWHERE! In fact, the amount of sex that happens everywhere happens on a much higher frequency than the number of babies popping out. And much of this sex that happens everywhere is instigated by women – everywhere. The things I’ve learned by personal experience have completely changed my paradigm.

20 Things to Talk About on Dates With Girls

what to talk about on dates
Not sure what to talk about on dates? No problem. These 20 topics take your date from start to finish with pizzazz.

Ever find yourself wondering what to talk about on dates?

Sure, you probably know some of the basics, and you might even be able to get past small talk, but what then?

Do you know how to hit the right topics to progress the date, connect with her, and lay the groundwork for taking her home?

For most guys, the answer is NO. They go with the flow and perhaps occasionally hit some of the right topics by accident. But the “go with the flow” mentality won’t help you get consistent success on dates.

It’s better to take a more deliberate approach by first understanding which topics are the most powerful on your dates.

A good conversation topic does at least one of three things:

  1. Helps you connect with her (usually by revealing something about her)

  2. Pushes the date forward (escalates things, moves her someplace more intimate)

  3. Handles the logistics (resolve timeframes and any other issues related with things to come)

(Bonus points if the topic also shines a positive light on you, but remember: you should keep talking about yourself to a minimum.)

If you’re on a topic that doesn’t do one of these things, you should move on quickly. Otherwise, you risk the conversation stalling and the connection fading.

With this in mind, I’ll cover topics that fit into each of these three categories.

You’ll notice that many of these topics allow you to:

  • Screen her for potential relationship material (whether it be hook up, friends with benefits, or girlfriend)

  • Qualify her so that she feels like she’s winning you over little by little

  • Communicate with her on an emotional level (which is best for connecting with her)

  • Keep the conversation focused on her so she feels like you already know her well

  • And relate back to her with positive traits and stories about yourself

(Note: You shouldn’t try to cycle through all of these topics on your dates. Instead, deep dive on a few of them, and save the rest for future dates with the girl.)

Let’s cover the first set of topics – those that will help you connect with her.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Proceed When She Asks You Out

girl asks you out
When a girl asks you out, it should seem obvious what to do: say yes, right? Yet guys botch this one surprisingly often. Here’s how not to.

You’re in the classroom looking at your notebook, or you’re in the office leaned up against a cubicle wall. A girl you know stops by to say hello and makes a little light chitchat with you. You talk with her, it’s fun; at one point she laughs. And then all at once she tells you, “We should hang out sometime.”

“Yeah, totally,” you tell her.

“All right, I need to get back to work,” she says. “I’ll see you.”

“See you!” you tell her.

You spend the next week mulling over what to do. Should you walk up to her and ask her for her phone number? Should you go tell her about the date idea you cooked up? Should you wait for her to re-approach you and make something happen then?

The more time goes by, the more awkward it gets.

Finally, two weeks later, you bump into her again and tell her, “We should get some coffee or something.”

She says, “Yeah, just let me know.” Then drifts off.

Still, you don’t have her contact info.

The date never happens.

How should you have dealt with the situation?

Treat Your Woman Well, but Don't be a Doormat

don't be a doormat
If you let a woman run slipshod over you, she will. But how do you keep control without being controlling?

I treat women well.

I give them phenomenal connection, great conversation, and scream-out-loud sex. I have a good sense of humor, possess a knack for solving pretty much any problem, no matter how intractable, and I look good and present well to women’s friends and family (when it comes time for that).

I also give a woman I’m with a fair amount of autonomy – within reason. But I do require women to be good partners, and to hold to the things I hold women in relationships to.

Once I had a girlfriend who liked to probe and test ask me if I wanted to try an open relationship. “You mean, you date other people, and I date other people, and also still date each other?” I asked. She said yes. “So you mean like I could go get a really hot and loyal girlfriend, and you’d be shagging a bunch of other dudes or whatever, and we could both do that.” She said yes again. “Okay, cool. But wait, why would I continue to date you then?” I asked. She explained well this way we could still see each other but we could also see other people. “Why wouldn’t I just date other women just as pretty, fun, and awesome as you whom I do not have to share with other men?” I asked.

You might wonder what happened next. Was she forced to repress a desire she had for an open relationship? Did she secretly engage in an open relationship behind my back? Did she accept my position, submit, and become a devoted girlfriend? In this article, we’re going to talk about how women react when you put your foot down on things; when you deny requests they claim they want.

There’s nothing wrong with open relationships if that’s your thing, of course. I’m not against them for other people. I just use this as an example of a girl testing to see how far she could expand her liberties with me before I put my foot down.

Every woman will do this with you. It’s not a matter of respect or disrespect. Nor is it a matter of how free she is in the relationship – even if you give her unprecedented freedom in the relationship, she will still test you to see if she can get more freedom (or to get you to do more free stuff for her).

This is an important concept to understand with women.

What is Her Type? Deconstruct Her, and Find Out

what's her type?
If you want to know what her type is (so you may more easily date her), you’ll have to ask her a few questions, first.

“What’s her type?”

I have mixed views on the question.

In one way, you need to figure out her fantasy and then become that. You need to adapt to specific women. If she’s a fit snow bunny, it would behoove you to have spent some time at the gym (which is probably where you’d meet her anyways); also, maybe have a few tattoos, be a bit over-the-top with your masculinity, and a bit aloof.

At the same time, you can’t be every girl’s type. Even if you want to be the Übermensch of seduction, you can’t be everything at once.

But I think I’ve come up with a solution. There are three parts to this.

  1. Figure out her type

  2. Understand the difference between tokens and types

  3. Decide how far you want to go

Sexual Tension in Day Game vs. Night Game

sexual tension day game vs. night game
The way you use sexual tension differs depending on the time of day you meet her. If by day, one way; if by night, another.

Hey, guys!

During my daily skimming of the comment section of my posts, I stumbled upon this interesting question by a reader named Kevin:

I just re-read your superb series on sexual tension, and it left me wondering on its uses in a day game setting. I mostly do day game myself, and don't yet fully understand how one can use sexual tension there.

As someone who is good at both day and night game, would you have any pointers on the use of sexual tension in day game and how it is different from night game, and maybe even share your day game strategies?

Thanks again, Kevin

I also believe that this question needs to be answered, as I haven’t really covered how sexual tension should be used in different social contexts (generally speaking: day game vs. night game). From reading my posts on sexual tension, many might believe that those posts were dedicated to night game. They would be wrong.

However, I do see why people would believe this, since I not only shared a report from a night game scenario in which sexual tension was amplified, but many of the examples in the report seem to be taken from night game. Additionally, after my last two podcasts with Varoon, it has become clear that I am a night gamer.

The truth is, I have experience in both day game and night game. That said, I have lately been focusing more on night game, simply because I find it more exciting and I tend to take days off during the weekend. I will say I am pretty clueless when it comes to online game and social circle related stuff, as those areas have never caught my interest. I am a 100% cold approacher.

Now, the concepts covered in my sexual tension series and everything else related to displaying sexual intent that I have posted in the past, such as physical escalation, sex talk, and other sexual gambits, can be applied both to day game and night game – with some adjustments. Those adjustments are the subject of this post.

Let us get to it.

Attraction is Either There, or It Isn't

attraction is there or it isn't
Attraction is there at the beginning, or it never fully shows up to the same extent. What determines attraction – and why can’t you ‘create’ it?

This is going to be a weird article for some readers.

On the one hand, I’m going to challenge some basic assumptions you may have. But on the other hand, not really.

If you’ve read here a while, you’ve seen me comment that attraction is either there or it isn’t; you cannot ‘create’ or ‘build’ attraction. Though if you read enough of my articles, you can probably find instances of me using the phrase ‘create attraction’ or ‘build attraction’ to talk about something I’m suggesting you do. This article is about what, exactly, it is you cannot ‘create’ or ‘build’... and what other thing(s) you can build/create. Along the way, as we go, I hope you will discover some new ways of looking at attraction that lets you better use it in your courtships with women.

To get away from the confusion, in this article I will divide the thing we commonly call attraction into two (2) discrete daughter elements:

  • Fascination, and
  • Excitement

How these two play off each other throughout a courtship will be our focus today.

Get Good with Girls in Just 30 Minutes a Day

get good with girls
You don’t need to go out for long outings, or make meeting women super hard. All you need to improve is a mere 30 minutes a day – every day.

For those of you who seek to truly master your skills with women and reap the benefits of those skills, how often do you go out?

Do you go out a couple days a week, once a week, once a month?

I used to slack off at times. There was a time I only had the willpower to go out and take one major blowout before calling it quits and going home for a while.

It is hard to be consistent, especially when you are new at this and you have to combat years of social conditioning telling you it’s a bad thing – or painful – to talk to strangers.

Back when I first started in the sector of learned success with women, I would only go out a few days a week, and progress was slow, if non-existent. With my mistakes so far spread out, it was hard to see patterns and make meaningful corrections. But what could I do? Go out every day? That would be insane, I thought.

Tactics Tuesdays: Don't Tell Her Why Not to Sleep with You

why not to sleep with you
If she starts trying to convince herself to go with you or sleep with you, should you correct her if she says things about you that aren’t true?

The inspiration for this post came from the exchange Davi shares of a scenario where he was just about to sleep with a girl he’d brought back home... Until he talked her out of it:

Girl: Look, I’ve got to go to work quite early in the morning...

Davi: Well, I’ll take care of it, don’t worry!

Girl: Oh yeah, you can take me with your car when you go to your regular work, right? Then, yeah I can stay.

Davi: I can call you an Uber. But no, I don’t own a car, and it’s just a student job, haha.

Girl: Really? Hmm... oh... mmm... then I think I should go home now.

At which point she left.

I’ve been here. I remember at one point a girl had asked me to swing by her friends’ place so she could pick up her cell phone. Finally, both of us in my car, she agreed to go back to my place with me, and was talking about how she’d get home in the morning. Then I said, kind of thinking out loud, “Oh wait, we still need to get your phone from your friends,” and she said oh yeah, I have to get that.

So, we drove to her friends’ house, there was an after party going on there, she ended up wandering off and making out with some other guy she knew there for a while, while I stood around awkwardly having drinks and trying to act natural and talk with her friends, until at last the girl I’d come with passed out on a couch, and I gave up and went home alone.

Shouldn’t have reminded her about the phone and just had her pick it up in the morning. Whoops.

All I had to do in that scenario – and all Davi had to do here – was keep my mouth shut.

I just couldn’t help myself though. I had to talk her out of sleeping with me.