Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Tactics Tuesdays: Destroy Your Own Learned Helplessness

learned helplessness
Our society trains men to be helpless, for several of its own reasons. But it’s important you know helplessness is learned... not inborn.

Learned helplessness is the behavior shift that occurs when an animal or individual decides its situation is impossible to change. At this point, the individual decides he is helpless to affect the outcome, and simply gives up trying.

Some of the most tragic stories of crushed spirits come when you discuss learned helplessness. Animals who’ve been caged so long they won’t try to leave even if you leave their cage doors open. Prisoners who aren’t able to operate outside the penal system, so commit crimes to go back to the familiar comfort of the prison yard. And men who’ve been unsuccessful with women so long they don’t even try to meet them.

In a recent popular thread on our Beginners’ Forum, a forum member starts off by asking why women like dominant men and men who take the lead. But it quickly becomes clear his real issue is not a philosophical question of why women prefer dominant men, but an exploration of his desire for women, yet lack of motivation to take steps to meet, date, and sleep with them.

This article will not be about why girls desire dominance and leadership, per se. If you’d like more on those topics, see these articles:

Rather, this article will be about the phenomenon of learned helplessness in the modern male – where it comes from, who’s responsible for it, and what you can do to shake it off.

6 Signs a Girl Is Cheating on You and How to Handle It

signs a girl is cheating
How do you know if a girl is cheating on you? With the 6 signs: decline, blow-ups, changed plans, furtiveness, jealousy, and admission.

I was about to spend a weekend with my girlfriend up at her cabin. We had been together for three months, and I was stoked. The morning we were supposed to leave, I got an odd text: “Hey, I am going to have to change plans. My mentor is taking me to Colorado for a business trip for the weekend.”

At the time I did not think anything of it. This was a girl who could not possibly cheat. It was not until a couple days later when I saw her in a snap with some other guy traveling around in what did not look like a very platonic relationship. Even then I could not believe it.

That night I texted her something mild asking her how she was doing. She blew up at me as if from out of nowhere – I was confused. Suspicions rising, I sat down and made myself a chart of all the possibilities of what could be happening, and what the chances were she could be cheating. It quickly became clear she was fooling around. I broke it off with her. It was very painful.

As it turned out, an old lover she broke it off with to be with me was in town and wanted to whisk her away to Colorado. I personally was having severe financial issues, and I let it affect my game in terms of masculinity; it was my fault as much as hers.

To Make Her Desire You, Give Her Permission To

make her desire
It’s as important to make a woman feel allowed to desire you as it is to cause that desire. Unless she feels allowed, she’ll quash her desire for you.

Hi everyone. Today I will get more theoretical. My theoretical posts are to serve a purpose and provide a framework to not only help you better understand your successful interactions with women, but also create a foundation for a better understanding of seduction as a whole.

These frameworks and models are just mere representations of the real world, and should only be used for explanatory purposes - i.e., to help you make sense of things, not necessarily to give true explanations of how things are. I will spend two posts on explaining two different frameworks, which will synergistically add to your overall understanding.

In this post I will discuss two aspects of seduction that are key to creating her willingness to have sex with you - namely building her desire for you and letting her feel allowed. My next post will be about the two levels of leading: leading her emotionally and leading her logistically. Both concepts require both levels (all being forms of generating desire or leading) and are equally important in every seduction. Ideally, both should be applied during real life encounters.

The concepts that I am about to share in this post have been covered in my detailed lay report from Bulgaria. If you have been looking for a real life example in which those concepts are applied, I really recommend you read that report. It also has a lot of other great material.

Anyway, enough chitchat, let us get right into it.

How to Use Donald Trump-Style Persuasion

Donald Trump persuasion
Donald Trump used masterful persuasion in his dark horse candidacy for U.S. President. Six (6) powerful persuasion tactics underpin his success.

A reader asks:

it’s been a year now since donald trump has been succesfully running his campaign.

Love him or hate him, the guy is a master persuader, really alpha, entertaining and never boring. He’s also extremely concise and repetitive in the way he speaks.

Exactly what robert greene would define as charismatic in his art of seduction

The funny thing though is I’ve noticed that he does a lot of things that you advocate not too do. ( explicit qualifying is the bread and butter of his persuasive effectiveness and constant repetition is another one. Plus, he’s got this essential quality of being brutal and effective when being under attack – an approach that is probably going to revolutionize politics world forever. )

Love him or not, what’s obvious is that he CAN persuade

Can u deconstruct his main strenghts and maybe reccomend some sources to how one can master verbal attack and , mainly, DEFENSE, like he does? I guess you could call that frame control.

Donald Trump is a persuasion phenomenon the likes of which the U.S. presidential election has not seen before. There are Donald Trump parallels in other civilizations and other eras; for instance, quite possibly ancient Rome’s Cato the Elder. But we haven’t seen a Donald Trump in the American presidential elections before.

In this article, I’m going to break down some of Donald Trump’s most oft-used persuasion techniques. I’ll point out what they are to you, show you how to use them, and give you plenty of examples.

If you’re reading this and you’re already bristling for political bias, I should note that I won’t be voting in this election (because I’m outside the U.S. with a Nevada citizenship, a Pennsylvania address, and a California driver license; I have no way to receive a mail-in ballot). I do not agree with all of any of the candidates’ policies, although I am a white male small business owner high in what psychologists call Traditional Masculinity Ideology, so that will necessarily bias me toward candidates offering some solutions over others. This article will be about tactics and strategies, not politics, but we’re all men and all men are inherently biased, so take that as you may. If any of my own bias leaks through, my apologies in advance; I am a (flawed) human, like you.

Disclaimers aside, let’s peel back the skin on Donald Trump-style persuasion... and see what we’ve got underneath.

The Sexual Reframe, Part I: Reprogram Her Desires

sexual reframe
The sexual reframe lets you take innocent behaviors and make them sexual. To pull this off, you need three (3) requirements in place first.

In the era we live right now – an era of rampant debauchery and staggering amounts of casual sex, in which everybody is “doing it” or at least making an effort to join in the fun – one night stands, no-strings-attached sex, and friends-with-benefits relationships are not only supported, they’re encouraged.

Especially if, like me, you’re a young man in a somewhat stressful environment like a university... let’s just say that everybody tends to start looking for a way to relieve that sexual energy every now and again. All that pent-up tension has to go somewhere.

You might wonder... in this day and age, with such “loose morals” and lowered levels of anti-slut defense, what’s the point of a sexual frame? Sure it’s a technique that has already been discussed here at length, and by default these days, you might think: “Well, if we’re both attracted to each other, then sex is on the table and will most likely happen in due course.” And you’re right. In most dating situations in North America, Europe, and beyond... there’s much less need for setting an actual “sexual frame” with a girl. More and more these days, girls will happily go to bed with you so long as you present yourself as a sexy man. But if you’d like to take things further, then this might be the article for you.

Please allow me to re-introduce a concept that my buddy Alek Rolstad wowed the seduction community with back in the late 2000’s. It’s called the sexual reframe. It’s also a technique that another master seducer, Ricardus Domino, has been using for almost a decade. And after setting aside time for intensive practice... I’ve been able to use this technique consistently.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Sidestep Unnecessary Confrontations

What do you do when a girl tests you and you’re suddenly out of your depth? Sidestep! The sidestep lets you avoid all manner of traps, snares, and pitfalls.

The sidestep: it’s an incredibly powerful move and the antidote for a lot of men’s problems when facing resistance.

When a man encounters a wall in a conversation or with a girl, his first reaction is either to give up or to push past the resistance. The flaw in giving up is obvious: neither of you win. You don’t show up to play the game, and it’s over.

The flaw with pushing past resistance is that most guys do it in a needy or overly aggressive way.

They concede to her way of thinking and find a way to please her or assuage her concern.

Or, if they do choose to face her frame head to head, they attempt to strong-arm her emotions at a much more severe emotional level than that at which she resisted. Their brute conversational force scares her off.

Instead, when a man faces resistance, he should consider sidestepping or moving around the obstacle rather than wrestling against it, which usually leaves either your two egos broken.

Parry her loving strikes.

But before we get into the how-to, allow me to illustrate how badly you can embarrass yourself when you try to outmaneuver a much more dominant and socially savvy girl... By sharing with you perhaps one of my most shameful stories.

Girls are Some of Your Greatest Teachers

girls greatest teachers
Girls teach you a lot when you try to talk to them, date them, or pick them up. They’re among the greatest teachers you’ll have, in fact.

In Drexel’s post yesterday on the top 3 reasons to pick up sober, he discussed pickup as a crucible through which you may purge demons and unlock total masculinity.

There are a few areas of life that shape and mold boys into men in their own unique ways:

  • Group leadership (sports, clubs, politics, priesthood, military)
  • Business operation (or in particular, business ownership)
  • Teaching
  • Fatherhood
  • Cold approach pickup

None of these are guarantees. Plenty of men make it through any of these crucibles with gaping holes in their masculinity.

  • The talented seducer who sobs over yet another girlfriend who’s ditched him, or flies into a rage when some girl dares reject him.

  • The father who fails to discipline his children out of fear and instead raises dysfunctional adults.

  • The leader who’s a leader in name only, and never learns to look out for anyone more than himself.

  • The teacher who’s only in it for the paycheck, the power, or to indoctrinate and inculcate, versus the instructor who exists to challenge, spark curiosity, and open minds.

  • The business operator or owner who cuts corners and does anything for a buck, leaving a trail of burned contractors, employees, and customers in his wake.

However the man who takes his cultivation serious can grow enormously in any of these roles... Far more so than he can in any other way.

That’s because central to each of these roles are two elements as crucial to succeeding with women as they are to succeeding as a man: the social crucible, and responsibility for more than one’s self.

The Top 3 Reasons to Pick Up Girls Sober

pick up girls sober
Check the nightlife, and you’ll see almost every guy out to pick up girls is drunk or high. If you can do it sober, you give yourself a major competitive advantage.

Do you blaze, drink, or do lines when you go out and hit the club to chat up girls?

One year ago, William Gupta talked about the truth about taking drugs and hooking up.

After a decade in the Game, I've noticed something striking - almost nobody is sober. When guys learn and practice pick-up, they tend to be drunk, stoned, or both... and a lot of the guys gaming in clubs are, to put it bluntly, doing coke in the bathrooms in order to keep themselves "up" for the long haul of partying and hitting on women until 2 in the morning.

Before you think I'm just being some prude who can't have a good time, let me preface what I'm about to say by mentioning that I struggled with various forms of addiction for a full decade. I've been through the depths of that hell, I know what the demons look and sound like in your head, and I know precisely what kind of blade a man needs to sever them in half and regain his life from the abyss.

Now, before I get into my top 3 reasons to practice pick-up sober, I'll briefly explain why I think so many guys can't seem to perform this art without a little "chemical help" of some type. I believe that the primary reason so many guys do pick-up stoned or drunk... which REALLY became clear once I cleaned up my act and started living the sober life... is that pick-up is scary as hell.

Congruence, Psychology, and Taking a Girl Home 5 Minutes After Hello

congruence psychology
Congruence is a term in psychology that refers to a state where your self and your behavior align. This leads to crazy success in dating.

How many “techniques” have guys ever used to get women?

Some guys take a very smooth, suave approach – a little James Bond mixed with Danny Ocean.

Others take a “Van Wilder” approach and try to amp up a girl’s emotions, making her have so much fun that her logical, self-judging mind turns off, and sex just happens.

Others, me included, like to take a “gorilla game” approach, and just approach every girl as decisively and directly as possible, initiating physical contact as early as is appropriate.

There are a ton of different strategies when it comes to getting girls, and those are just a few. But which one is the best? Some would argue the merits of push-pull game, others claim that providing a witty and charming conversation takes the cake, while others insist that confidence is key. What I would say is this: these are all very good approaches to getting women, and they all have their merits. Some strategies will work better than others – depending on the situation.

If you’re at that posh new nightclub in LA, or at Surrender in Las Vegas for your yearly bachelor’s trip, using “James Bond” game might not be the best idea. If you’re at a high-end business networking meeting, emulating “Van Wilder” might network your ass right to the curb. But regardless of the location and style of game you prefer, there is one underlying principle that is more important than ANY strategy or technique.

That principle, of course, is congruence.