Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Why It Feels “Off” to Her


feels off to herI recently addressed a thread on our discussion boards where a member reported on a couple of women who seemed to initially like him, and then backed off in a big way, telling him things like, “I’m just not looking for this right now.”

He’d suspected the issue was he just wasn’t doing all that well at targeting women who were going to be receptive to him, but in this case, the actual issue was he was jumping the gun and expressing too much interest without her giving him a reason to yet.

And what happened next was the girl started feeling like something was “off”.

As soon as that feeling comes up, you’re in bad shape.

And it isn’t always caused by missing a step here or there, either.

Dance Floor Game Tips #10: Closing on the Dance Floor


This is the tenth and final post in my series on dance floor seduction. This post will of course cover how to seal the deal. We will cover the end game phase; the phase where you make things happen.

In case you are just tuning in, here are the previous nine installments:

  1. Dance game foundations
  2. Warming up on the dance floor
  3. Dance floor target selection
  4. Opening on the dance floor
  5. Building attraction on the dance floor
  6. Physical escalation on the dance floor
  7. Handling her friends
  8. What causes resistance
  9. More on handling resistance

We will not cover, however, how to escalate to sex when you are back at your place, as we already have way too many posts covering this exact topic. Secondly, we also have a lot more stuff to discuss that is relevant to dance floor seduction, which I'd rather focus on.

dance floor close

This post is broken into many parts. The reason for this is that we will cover many different topics. The things we will discuss, although all key to endgame, are too short to have their own posts. And lastly, this guide is getting long and it is time to sum it up.

So let's get started.

Hair Length and Male Attractiveness


hair length and attractivenessHow important is hair to attraction?

I didn’t pay it much mind the first few years I was out chatting up girls. I got my $12 Supercuts haircut, threw on some threadbare button-down shirts I still had from high school that were two sizes too large for me, a pair of basic jeans, and some chunky white sneakers or square-toed loafers.

And then I’d go out and talk to girls.

I got okay results. I’d get dates sometimes, and sometimes I’d sleep with a girl. Some girls really liked me. Because of this, I assumed these other things did not matter.

Later I realized I was handicapping myself though, and once I started experimenting a lot more with clothes and hair, I got better results.

How much better? It’s hard to say. Fashion and hair improved for me at the same time a bunch of other things did, which makes it tough apportioning out credit.

However, whether the difference it makes to your fundamentals is a 5% improvement or 15% one, this is a fairly straightforward 5% or 15% you can add to your attractiveness portfolio, and it’s one you shouldn’t miss.

Everything I Know About Race and Dating Girls


My friend had just told me that he saw the girl I liked with another guy.

“I don’t get it man! I know that she likes me.”

“Bro, it’s because of this,” he said, pointing to his dark skin.

I responded saying, “What are you talking about man?”

“It’s because you’re black bro; girls like her only date white guys.”

race and dating

Until that point I had not looked at dating through a racial lens. But after that day I started to become more “aware” of race and dating. I started “seeing” that white guys had it easier when it came to getting girls. It didn’t matter that I had dated many different races of girls before. It didn’t matter that I ended up dating the girl that we were talking about. That conversation had given me the ultimate excuse: that if a girl didn’t like me, it was because of my race.

It took me years to get away from that particular train of thought. It still creeps in from time to time, but as soon as I catch myself thinking like that now I cut that line of reasoning. So I will go ahead and answer the question that is on a lot of your minds right now.

Does race matter when it comes to dating? Yes.

Does it matter as much as people think it matters? No.

In this post, I will answer common questions I get from guys about race and dating; some advice for getting over racial insecurities and some stories from my journey.

4 Steps to Sleep with Women When You Travel Abroad


Being able to take home a kind, beautiful girl anywhere in the world is every man’s dream. And why wouldn’t it be? How amazing is the feeling of touching down in a completely new land, being mesmerized by a host of lights, sights, and smells, and locking eyes with a woman who had only traipsed through your dreams before that moment?

sleep with women

It’s incredible. And I want you to be able to capture the feeling as often as you possibly can. But a lot of men make tactical miscalculation when they set out for the high seas (or skies). So let me share with you what I’ve learned from visiting six continents on this planet.

Dance Floor Game Tips #9: More on Handling Resistance


dance floor resistancePreviously I discussed a few important premises and techniques that will help reduce your chances of having to face resistance when you escalate physically – or at least will minimize the impact of the resistance.

Previous articles in this series here:

  1. Dance game foundations

  2. Warming up on the dance floor

  3. Dance floor target selection

  4. Opening on the dance floor

  5. Building attraction on the dance floor

  6. Physical escalation on the dance floor

  7. Handling her friends

  8. What causes resistance

However, even knowing what causes it and how best to avoid it, sometimes resistance will occur anyway. It’s far from uncommon. Even good seducers face resistance – although less often than beginners.

Before I begin, please note this: just because you are getting resistance does not mean you have failed to pull off the techniques (the preventive techniques against resistance) from our last post.

Some women are just harder cases than others, and that can either be due to the situation and her current mood or her personality.

Some women are harder to get than others – that’s just life.

From Hello to Good Morning: How to Talk Your Way into Her Pants


Whether you’re talking to a girl inside a club or inside your apartment, you are going to need to be an effective communicator.

hello to good morning

Conversation is not only something you do to bond with girls, but it’s a tool to get her back to your place. Not saying the right thing at the beginning could result in her never giving you a chance. A boring conversation could have her walking away from you mid-sentence. If you can’t get her to feel comfortable at your place, you could fail right at the finish line.

So here is my hello to good morning conversation guide:

Why Aren't You Arousing the Women You Meet?


One of the most common questions that I hear from guys is:

“How do I make her want me?”

But there’s always more to this question. They go on...

“You know, like want me so bad that she just can’t wait to get back to my place and rip my clothes off and will even make plays to move the interaction forward herself! I see this happen with other guys from time to time, so I know it’s possible... How do you do that?”

arousing women

Although what you are doing is important, it’s usually the things that you either don’t do or just do incorrectly that end up being the miscreant that stalls things.

Later I’ll explain to you in detail how to not only turn a woman on, but more critically, how to do it smoothly so that you don’t make mistakes and disappoint her somewhere along the way.

But first, let me tell you why this is even more important than you think it is.

Is There Something About Girls You Just Don’t Get?


A reader named Will makes the following comment on our discussion boards about the “secret society”:

I really don’t understand this concept of a secret society. One that all women and successful seducers belong to. Any society that over 50% of the world’s population belongs to is not a secret. And I’ve been with younger, slightly (or more than) crazy girls who in no way seemed to understand much about social interactions before, during or after sex – you can find that a little too often with internet dating, but I think it kind of disproves this secret society idea.

don't get it

I myself don’t use the “secret society” term for the same reason; it’s an older pickup term a lot of guys do like, but for many guys outside the pickup world, it can confuse... and makes the whole concept sound planned-out (when it’s actually more an emergent phenomenon).

Personally, “secret society” was one turn-of-the-phrase that always makes my brain have to pause a minute. For whatever reason, at least for me, the term makes the concept it describes pretty unintuitive.

Alek has already explained the “secret society” concept in-depth in a 2013 article here: “Social Order, Sexual Restriction, and the Secret Society.”

Today, I’d like to talk a bit more about what’s going on in women’s heads when they meet a guy who “gets it” versus a guy who does not... and how they figure out who’s who.

How to Juggle Women, Projects, Habits, Career, and More


Would you like to know what was, and actually still is, my biggest struggle when it comes to seduction? And not just me - this single aspect often ends up putting even the most prolific seducers on dry-spells and is the reason why so many men's "career" in having a promiscuous lifestyle only lasts a few years.

Do I have your curiosity?

women and life

Alright, then I won't beat around the bush anymore - it is integrating seduction into your lifestyle and making it sustainable long-term.

You see,

Like many of you, I'm a man on a mission. I have great aspirations and goals for my life and, truth be told, racking up enough notches to give Jack Nicholson a run for his money is NOT one of them.

Don't get me wrong, I love our beautiful ladies as much as the next guy (maybe even more), and in this article I won't try to convince you that getting good with women is not a worthwhile goal - on the contrary, I will try to convince you that it's actually a necessary skill that will help you achieve other goals in your life more efficiently. But only if we're smart about it.

However, even that is not my main goal with this article.

Instead, I would like to share some ideas and strategies on how to incorporate meeting and sleeping with beautiful women into your life and make it sustainable. Or, if you're still struggling, how to get good with women without creating fires in other aspects of your life.

That said, as I will explain in a moment, it wouldn't be honest to say that I have it all figured out and that there's a clear-cut one-strategy-fits-all approach. The tricky part when talking about these subjects is that it takes years to really see if a particular approach worked and if it was even the optimal one to take in the first place.

Which simply means - be smart and try to critically think about what you are reading.

And now, the problem...