Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Is It Moral to Be a Hedonist?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

is hedonism moral
Many guys who learn pickup and seduction struggle with the morality of living a hedonistic lifestyle. This is a legitimate dilemma, so let’s get philosophical.

Hey guys. Welcome back. Today I will take a step away from the technical posts and share more of a reflection.

Over the years, I've seen that the philosophy of picking up women and seduction is closely related to hedonism. Both defenders and critics have used the hedonist argument to both praise and criticize pickup.

Pickup is viewed as hedonistic because the element of pleasure, or more importantly, short-term sensual pleasure is central. Some, including our own Hector Castillo, have presented some solid analysis on the main blog and the forum.

I would like to give you my take on the subject. Honestly, I doubt my opinion will differ much from Hector’s, but I may add some different perspectives.

Some questions we will try to answer are:

Whether or not you agree with my points is irrelevant. The purpose of this post is to offer another perspective that may help you evaluate your values and perhaps even challenge your ethical system so that you may come out stronger.

How to 'Evoke' Touch with Girls in Clubs

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

how to touch girls in clubs
A great way to initiate touch in a club is to make her anticipate and desire it before it happens. You can do this with your vibe, eye contact, body language, and more.

In my previous two articles, I discussed the right kind of touch and awareness you need when in a club. Today I’ll tell you how to combine these two ideas into moves so you can get physical with ease.

Here are those articles:

I’ve explained that women have an awareness radius of five meters or so and line of sight to areas like other sections of the club, walkways, bars, and entrances. Their awareness radius lets them track you (if they feel their tracking you will be interpreted positively by you and others). If you want to convey intent via subcommunication and body language cues, you need to give to her the impression that you favor the idea of her tracking you.

Combining this with the goal of touch becomes “creating an experience by evoking the sensation of touch through anticipation rather than contact.”

Interesting idea. But how is it accomplished?

Tactics Tuesdays: Interest Bait

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

interest bait
When she's just about to reject you… or she isn't, but the conversation's grown stale… or you just need a boost… break out the 'interest bait', and suck her back in.

Wanna know something you're sure to find useful with girls?

By asking an intriguing question, or making an intriguing yet unfinished statement, you can draw someone in.

You can use this 'interest bait' to prop up slumping conversations. It's also great as a boost to otherwise okay interactions that could benefit from stronger energy.

Questions and statements like these serve as a powerful tactic for transitions from one conversation topic to another, too.

Such a tactic can even let you stop in her tracks a woman who's about to walk away (as I discussed in a few examples in my article last week on women who are closed off or impossible).

This is a simple tactic to use.

It also isn't anything new. I've used plenty of such questions and statements in my examples in articles throughout the years, as have the other authors here. Alek Rolstad makes good use of interest bait in his excellent 9-part series on hooking girls in, which any serious student of seduction owes a read.

Additionally, simply by using interest bait you set yourself up as a sort of authority (which is in itself attractive).

That's because, usually, the only people who talk this way are people in authority positions. So long as it comes across congruent, interest bait is powerful to use.

Yet few men use it. You ought to be among them.

How to Win at Seduction: Maximize Strengths and Minimize Weaknesses

Tony Depp's picture

seduction success
Not all men are born lady killers. Lucky for us, the seduction community has proven time and again that even YOU can get hot girls by focusing on what you can control.

Because most guys haven’t had success "just being themselves," they think verbal game is the only essential skill in seduction. There’s no possibility that a girl may be waiting to meet a guy who looks like you, right? You’re not good looking, or tall, or rich. There’s zero chance that she may be single, bored, lonely, or horny, and you’re just her type at the right time and place?

It’s the men who don’t try often enough who are the first to cry “Only looks matter!” They have inner-game issues related to their self-image (e.g., I’m ugly). So, I get them to record audio of their approaches with their phones, and unsurprisingly, their conversations are boring: no emotion, no insights, just surface level small talk. Then they wonder why they’re getting phone numbers, but not dates. It must be because they’re so ugly, they figure.

I also get these eccentric guys. They show up dressed like bums, or clowns, with nose hairs jutting out, loose, dirty clothing, or fashion from 1996 hip hop culture. They never run out of things to say, and their conversations are anything but boring. They also believe they’re the most handsome of all men. They have astronomical self-esteem. But the women don’t want anything to do with them because they feel embarrassed being seen with these guys.

So as a coach, I quickly slot men into categories:

And so forth.

Every man can improve himself. But he has to believe it’s possible and be willing to put in the effort.

seduction success

As far as these low-self-esteem cases, the one thing they have in common is that they’re “not enough.” They’re just not good enough (in their minds) to get the hot girls. They’re not good-looking enough, and they just don’t know what to say. They think if they could correct one of those issues, then everything would turn around for them.

That’s what they tell themselves, anyway. If they were better looking and had game, everything would work out. Well, isn’t that why we’re learning this stuff? Because we’re not all born handsome and witty?

It’s how I used to think, too: I wasn’t good enough for hot girls. I was too short, too fat, too skinny, too young, too old, too plain, and I had to talk myself attractive. Once I discovered the pickup community, it was like being handed a magic wand. All I had to do was practice these tactics and techniques, so I’d finally know exactly what to say to girls. Now, almost 14 years later, I still have no idea what to say to girls to get them to like me. But I’m a lot more confident, and women like that trait.

Here’s the truth about “Game.” As a science, it was made for average, frustrated chumps. Not good-looking, social geniuses.

We’ve learned:

Pickup vs. Seduction: Is There a Difference? (Yes!)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

pickup vs. seduction
Pickup: the art of finding a girl to take home. Seduction: the art of influencing her mind, to create desire and other urges. How do the two relate… and which is better?

On Tuesday I talked about succeeding with closed or 'impossible' girls... inspired by a tussle over the subject we had on the Boards.

There's another nuance I want to discuss before we wrap this subject up though. That is the distinction between pickup and seduction.

While related -- and while the two terms are often used interchangeably (including by me) -- they are in fact different.

Knowing what the difference between the two terms is will aid your thinking about both... as well as your ability to use each area in the most effective way.

How to Get Those Attention Seeking Club Girls

Alek Rolstad's picture

attention seekers
You’re in a club. A girl walks by and grabs your ass. Then she bolts and won’t talk to you. WTF? She’s an attention seeking freak, and here’s how to get her in bed.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Today I’ll respond to a question guys have asked on the forum. I assumed other men would enjoy having this question answered, too.

The question is: How do we deal with freaks in clubs?

Freakiness tends to be amped up to 11 in night club scenarios. Some of you may not be familiar with the term “freak.” It was coined by a deceased seducer called PlayerSupreme (RIP). According to him, there are three types of women:

  1. Good girls (nice, kind, affectionate girls); however, HE NEVER claimed that those girls were asexual Madonnas

  2. Hoes (the gold digger and status seeker)

  3. Freaks (weird girls who use their sexuality to gain power and get male attention; they tend to have higher sex drives than other women, but not always)

So, today’s discussion will be about how to deal with the third type of woman. For a better idea of what we are discussing, here’s an example.

Say you are at a club having fun. Out of the blue comes this girl who tells you something sexually explicit, acts in a sexually explicit way, or touches you in a sexually explicit way.

She may tell you how much she likes sucking dick, or perhaps she simply comes up to you, grinds her ass on you, or even touches your dick.

And you, happy as a clam, believe she is doing this because she is:

  • Super horny (easy prey)

  • Very sexually open, one of those “sexual women” (I have discussed this topic many times; this is usually a bias; those who seem most sexually open are not necessarily those who are)

  • Really into you

Pleased and excited, you reciprocate her move. You start showing sexual interest in return. You may touch her or make an overt move.

Only to realize that the moment you do, she walks away.

When you try to re-engage, she turns cold or starts ignoring you. It is frustrating. What the heck just happened? (I'll answer this in a bit.)

Even worse, you realize she’s now flirting with another guy, probably doing the same thing she did to you.

“But she was such easy prey; she showed so much interest in me.” You are a bit dumbfounded and creeped out.

The truth is, you have been played. And I will tell you how and why.

Choose Your Battlefield: Day Game, Night Game, or Cross Game

Daniel Adebayo's picture

types of pickup
Which pickup style should you specialize in, day game or night game? Or both? Each has its own skill set and takes considerable effort to learn. Here’s what to consider.

We all know cold approach is the best way to meet women.

But when you’re new to seduction, it can be difficult to decide. Day game or night game? Where should you focus your efforts? And where should you apply the advice you read here on Girls Chase?

While there are distinct strengths you will develop while making progress on each path, as well as specific weaknesses that students of each often struggle with, most seducers who get really good at socializing become adept at just half of the full cold approach experience.

So it’s quite natural even for experienced players to feel curious about the other side of seduction.

Now, just like the age-old debate on whether night game or day game is better, the answer to whether or not you should train yourself in the full cold approach experience will vary from person to person.

There are indisputable benefits to cross gaming, and if you’ve read my primer on this subject, you already have a clear picture of where I stand and why I arrived at this decision. It’s not required reading for today’s discussion, so if you haven’t read the primer, worry not.

Club Game: Get Noticed and Make the Right Impression with Girls

Cody Lyans's picture

pickup girls in clubs
Clubs are pits of sexual chaos, but nothing goes unnoticed. To position yourself as a guy who is destined to get laid, you’ve got to manage how you’re perceived.

So you are amid all the lights and the hammering bass, girls are in revealing outfits, and lots of alcohol is flowing. You want to get physical, but what do you do to make it happen?

In theory, everything is just right for mingling and getting things started, but in reality, most guys are hovering around the edges, and girls are self-isolating in their groups defending against the crass approaches that will inevitably be flung their way.

As a perceptive guy, you feel stuck in the middle, between the guys hovering around the edges and the girls who are assuming all incoming guys are missiles they ought to deflect.

You don’t want to be seen and rejected as one of “those guys,” but even worse, you don't want to just stand back and do nothing!

So how do you get physical in a club? By being observant and becoming skilled at reading and communicating body language.

Let's dive in.

How to Get Girls Who Seem Closed Off or Impossible

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

impossible girls
Some girls are closed off when you approach them. Some reject you – HARD! Some might even seem impossible to get. Is there a way to get these girls… or is there not?

Over on the discussion boards, we have of late had a dustup where a collection of several of our experienced members along with some other members led a small 'insurrection' against the most senior, experienced of us on there.

The gist of the insurrection was guys claiming, in effect, "You cannot get certain girls, now you old hands just admit it!"

This thinking seemed to stem from a few things, including (perhaps) my frequent suggestions to readers that most of the time, they should focus on screening for the women most receptive to them and their game.

This screening for receptive women is just an efficient, practical step. It is one every experienced guy employs.

Yet, just because you will usually do this, does not mean you treat non-receptive women as impossibly closed off.

Over the years, in addition to my "screen for girls who are receptive to you" posts, I have also authored many other pieces about getting girls who seem disinterested, or like hard cases, lost causes, or otherwise impossible to get.

The key is to be able to hold both concepts in the mind at once: most of the time, it is simply more efficient to focus on the women most receptive to you. Yet, also available to you are those women who are not at first into you, but whom you are nevertheless able to seduce.

Note before we begin: this article is a guide for advanced players, and should not be used by beginners (or probably intermediates either). HOWEVER... I strongly suggest beginners and intermediates read it, so that it is clear that even while we are suggesting you usually move on from disinterested girls, these girls are not actually totally out of reach, and there will come a time, if you continue down the road to seduction mastery, where these girls enter into your circle.

16 Awesome Texting Tips Few Men Know

Tony Depp's picture

texting a girl

For many of you sorry bastards, texting a girl can be an awful, anxiety-inducing journey of existential despair. What to text? When? How long should the text be? Should I be funny? What do I do?

Just chillax, brother. Let uncle Tony guide you through the mysterious world of women, texting a girl, and making sense of it all.