Confidence

How confidence affects results with women, and how to get your confidence, boldness, and "inner game" tightened up and running smoothly.

The “I Have to Get Every Girl” Insecurity

get every girl
Ever feel bad because random girls don’t like you? This is the “I have to get every girl insecurity” – and it can lose you dates and lays.

Not so long ago, I was out with a girlfriend. I’d just left a café I was working at to meet her, waiting outside. When I got there, I greeted her, and then she pointed me to a girl next to her I hadn’t met before. “This is my friend,” she said.

I glanced at the friend, and she glanced at me, and I saw a half-second automatic expression of displeasure flash across her face, before she forced a smile and said hi. I said hello. And I laughed to myself.

The friend wasn’t particularly attractive (she wasn’t ugly; just ordinary). The reaction could’ve been because she didn’t like my look / something about me, or it could’ve been because I accidentally (instinctively) checked her out quickly upon turning toward her (and she didn’t like my look / something about me). I can’t really help it, it’s just an automatic thing, and it excites girls who like me but turns off the ones who don’t.

Either way, once I excused myself to use the toilet, but before I returned, I thought about this interaction, and realized that while this did not bother me now, four or five years ago I’d have taken it personal and felt hurt. And I thought back and realized I’ve seen plenty of this (girl flashes me a look of distaste; I find it amusing), and it hasn’t bothered me in a good long while.

A girl was rejecting me – right? That’s a negative judgment.

But I got a kick out of it. So what’s changed?

Is She Too Hot? Well, Looks are Subjective

looks are subjective
Before you think she’s too hot and out of your reach, consider this: “hot” for you isn’t necessarily “hot” for the next man. Beauty is subjective.

Today we will discuss briefly the latest theories on whether or not looks are subjective. We have so far discussed a lot about women’s looks and the difficulty of picking them up. The theories covered in those earlier posts concerning the correlation between looks and difficulty of pick-up are more or less based on the premise that looks are more or less objective.

We will challenge this notion a bit – and see how the subjective aspect of looks plays out on the level of difficulty:

  • Is our perception of someone else’s looks subjective?

  • If yes, will/can it affect the level of difficulty in picking her up?

  • Is there still some objectivity left in our perception of attractiveness?

These are questions I would like to discuss in this post. Now, before I move on, I just want to make it clear to the reader that I am not a natural scientist. There will be parts of this post that biologists and other natural scientists would be able to describe more scientifically. As I do not have a lot of knowledge concerning how our DNA affects how we perceive other people, I will avoid discussing it in the first place. In other words, I will leave out the “scientific aspect”, as I believe there are better online resources on biology outside of GirlsChase.com.

I will therefore focus more on my own experiences and observations over the course of nine years in the pick-up community. The article will focus more on the seduction aspect rather than the biological aspect. The end goal of this site is, after all, to make one a better seducer.

What Gets More Girls: The Normal Guy Approach or Pickup?

normal guy approach
Pickup artists study how to get girls... But a lot of PUAs are kinda weird. Is it better to study dating, or to rely on “normal guy game”?

Prelude

This is an article I have been working on since I have started working for Girls Chase. It has been up in my head and I have struggled multiple times to explain this on paper.

Well, here is my first attempt, and my view on normal vs. pickup freak game.

This has been a concept many may find themselves shaking their heads at the pure absurdity of... That someone has broken down something this inconsequential to mere numbers on a graph.

But it is none the less something I thought would make for a good piece (if not perhaps an insufferable one for the wrong readers). So allow me to apologize in advance for my nerdiness.

Having Sex is Supposed to be Easy

sex is easy
You’ve no doubt heard it before: “It’s instinct.” So why does it seem like it’s so hard to meet girls and have sex in the world of today?

Yesterday in “How to Take Girls Off Their “Scripts””, I mentioned I intended to get an article up titled this. So here it is.

Sex isn’t supposed to be hard. It’s supposed to be easy. And it makes sense, right? The fact that you’re alive right now means every single one of your male ancestors stretching back a billion or so years got not just laid, but managed to knock up at least one chick once, and quite possibly knocked up one chick multiple times, or even multiple chicks multiple times.

It’s easy for men to stress out about sex. If you’re young and inexperienced, you might feel the fear grip you as you imagine becoming a 30-year-old male virgin, still sitting alone in his room playing video games and watching anime, lost in fantasies about fictional characters. If you’re a recent divorcé, you may look at all your nimble competitors in the fast-moving dating world of today and wonder if you’ll ever be as sharp as they are, and if any woman will want you again.

Why does sex seem so difficult to get for so many men? Is it a society-level problem, is it a problem of the women, is it a problem of competition, or is it a problem of men themselves?

I want to dig into that a little bit, and also give you a bit of different perspective you may not have considered before on how fear and instinct play into things here.

The Unicorn Hunter

unicorn hunter
Perfect 10s, unicorns, what have you – do they even exist? In particular, we look at American girls, and if you can still find a good one.

There’s a special kind of girl out there.

This kind of girl is perfect.

During the Pick Up Artist Era, she was known as the Perfect 10.

Debates raged across the PUA world as to whether ‘perfect 10s’ even really existed. Did they? Some men claimed 10s walked the Earth and were attainable. Other men claimed there were no such things as 10s. 7s, 8s, 9s, okay. But 10s? Perish the thought.

Now, in the Manosphere Era, they call such a girl the Unicorn.

In the Manosphere, now, we see the same debate rage as previously raged among the PUAs: do unicorns exist? Are they obtainable? Or are they but a figment of man’s imagination: the ideal woman, dreamed up yet unrealized? The female human analogue to Plato’s perfect forms, perhaps.

To answer this question of whether these ‘unicorns’ exist and whether they are obtainable, though, first we need to figure out exactly how we’re defining them, and agree on a definition... Because every man defines these ‘perfect girls’ a little bit different.

And before we do that, we should talk about why we’re even talking about unicorns in the first place.

The Beginning is the Hardest Part

beginning is hardest part
Why’s it have to be so hard to start something new? The truth is, whether it’s sports, art, business, or dating, the hardest part is at the start.

In 2005, the tire company I worked for considered me one of the best salesman in the district. Back in 2001 though, the first customer I ever served as a salesman had so little confidence in me (as a result of my obvious slowness, jitters, and uncertainty) that at one point she stopped me cold, looked me dead in the eye, and told me: “You’d better not fuck up my car.”

In 2006, I’d perform my music for people and they would flip out and tell me I should be on the radio. But in 2002, when I first began to make music, most of what I got was a barrage of hate, telling me my music sucked, I sucked, and (probably the most oft-repeated phrase I got), “Kill yourself, faggot.”

And in 2010, I was doing well enough with girls that I reached a point where my ideal girlfriend-quality girls became a breeze for me to get, and I knew if I went out and picked up hard enough, I could probably find a girl to take home (it might not necessarily be easy – a lot of that is down to luck... but doable). Yet, when I made my first real efforts to meet girls via cold approach in 2001, I failed so hard that I didn’t even try again for another 3.5 years.

I’ve watched a lot of guys get good with girls over the years, and most don’t suck as hard as I did at the beginning, or for nearly as long. Nevertheless, I share these examples to introduce a concept it’s important you get: that the beginning is the hardest part.

If you can get past this part, it gets easier and easier from there.

What to Do When a Girl Rebuffs You

girl rebuffs you
What do you do when she rolls her eyes or sticks her hand in you face? How you handle it is down to if it’s a soft rebuff or a hard one.

Three girls in a nightclub, dressed flashy, keeping to themselves. The redhead was in a shiny, sexy beige dress. The blonde was in tight jean shorts and a white top with no bra. They had an older gal with them, perhaps late 30s, curly black hair and defiant.

I watched one man walk up to them, get spurned, roll off.

Another guy approached; snubbed, and he left.

So, I waited. And after a time, I saw my opening: we’d all moved out to a quieter part of the venue, and at some point the three girls moved out into the same area, out of the loud dance club part.

I was with a few friends who were good with girls but weren’t habitual cold approachers, and they debated whether to make an approach or not. I was just there to spend time with my friends, not to meet girls per se. But I set down my glass and walked over to them.

The girls saw me coming and closed ranks; another sad man to reject. When I reached them, the older gal gave me a half second of eye contact before she put her hand up in my face dismissively and turned away; the blonde wouldn’t look, and the redhead stared off, a bitchy look on her face.

A minute later, I had all three girls laughing and smiling with me. And when after I chatted with my friend, who’d watched the whole thing, all he could ask me was, “What did you say to them?”

A Few Thoughts on MGTOW: Men Going Their Own Ways

MGTOW
What is the MGTOW movement all about? Do MGTOWs reject women, love, sex, and society? Or is the phenomenon about something else...?

On my article “Quit Letting Girls Off the Hook So Much”, Jimbo asks for my take on the MGTOW movement:

That whole MGTOW movement. It seems to have gained steam lately. Their two main talking points are: – Women want to spend their prime years screwing around bad boys and then when they become less desirable they want to settle down with a good man to provide for them. So screw it, I’m not gonna be neither! – Marriage is a trap wherein in a woman grabs her man by the nuts because of all the divorce laws that favor her hugely nowadays and also because of her greedy nature. So screw it, no marriage from this guy!

Yeah, the whole MGTOW thing is an interesting phenomenon.

I’ve clashed with MGTOWs on occasion when they get into the whole ‘rah rah join our cause’ routine... I’m not really the club-joining sort.

But the rah rah MGTOWs aren’t necessarily representative of the movement overall. So what I’d like to do today is take a look at the ‘men going their own way’ movement and share some thoughts on it from a somewhat broader perspective.

24 Ways to be a (Lovable) Dick to Girls

lovable dick
Girls will tell you they don’t like guys who are dicks. But they do. They really do. And with these 24 ways to be a dick to them, they will LOVE you.

Welcome back.

In the Part I of my "lovable dick" series, I explained a very important paradigm:

That being nice to a girl isn't always the nicest thing to do. In fact, sometimes she wants you to be a prick.

Why? Because she needs to know you have standards of behavior. And also, because she wants you to treat her like a little girl and not take her too seriously.

Now that I've thoroughly explained why being a dick is so attractive to women, and in what scenarios, here're 24 ways to make sure she knows that you're ACTUALLY a nice guy (i.e., you'll give her what she wants).