Confidence

How confidence affects results with women, and how to get your confidence, boldness, and "inner game" tightened up and running smoothly.

How to be Optimistic: 5 Steps (You Must Take)


Last week I wrote a post about How to be Passionate. That post was focused on becoming passionate with women, with work, and with life in general by generating an internal understanding and system in order to bring about greater awareness, curiosity, and appreciation for life.

So it’s only natural that I follow that post up with one on how to be optimistic. It seems that optimism has taken over the general zeitgeist of the West (perhaps even to a fault), and that literature, teaching, and educational/inspirational talks are all focused on the power of optimism and how to become optimistic yourself.

How to be Optimistic

Although I do not believe that optimism is a cure-all for any state of existence, it has been proven that people who are optimistic tend to be more successful in life and generally healthier in body as well. And it doesn’t really hurt to have the ability to look at a situation and learn and grow from it.

So today I want to talk about how to become optimistic. And don’t worry, this won’t be one of those “feel-good” kinds of posts where I just stroke your ego and tell you how special you are. We will discuss real practical steps and mindsets (as I always do) in order to boost your sense of optimism and general life satisfaction.

Want Dates? Then Approach Girls


I’m staying with Colt out in Denver right now, and we had an interesting conversation yesterday in which he mentioned that some of his friends read Girls Chase religiously, then go out to bars and refuse to approach girls at all.

The way he phrased this to me specifically was to ask me: “What do you do when you have friends who are trying to go the whole James Bond GC approach and look super cool but never approach?”

approach girls

So, yeah, I get this. Approaching’s no fun. It opens you up to potential public embarrassment, since you’re going to get rejected more often than not. Worse, if your ego’s feeling a little fragile, or there are people around you’d like to think well of you, that ego or that impression might take a hit if you go out there, walk up, say ‘hi’, and get shot down.

But if you want girls, you have to approach girls.

The “super suave James Bond who just chills at the bar sipping a martini and just waits for girls to open him” is a kind of funny seduction myth that it’s nice to imagine yourself inhabiting.

However, it’s a myth, and no more. Not even Bond himself does it – his approaches are cool, and smooth, but he makes them.

This is something I see guys who are newer and even guys a bit more advanced doing. Most guys fall into it sometimes. I fall into it sometimes. “I’ll just wait here until girls gravitate to me and then dating and sex will happen.”

But nothing happens if you don’t approach.

When You Should React vs. When You Should Not


Being unreactive to challenging situations is often the strongest option available to you. When a girl is testing you hard, someone is publicly belittling you, or things are just generally going crazy and spiraling out of control, the most nonplussed, nonchalant man typically wins: he shows dominance, control, and unflappability.

when to react

However, sometimes the calm of unreactiveness must be set aside, and situations simply need dealing with.

Sometimes the girl testing you needs to be set straight; sometimes person belittling you needs to be put in his place; sometimes the crazy situation requires you to place both hands on the wheel and make things sane again.

If you react in situations where remaining unreactive is ideal, you violate the Law of Least Effort and appear tryhard; yet, if you fail to react in situations where your reaction is sorely needed, you seem weak, fearful, and indecisive.

That makes things necessarily a bit trickier, because there isn’t a perfect one-size-fits-all response to every situation; sometimes it’s better to not react, other times better to react.

To know which one is called for, you must have a read on the specific situation... and you must be able not to bow to social pressure.

How to be Passionate


The big mantra in the West is “Find your passion”. Every person is constantly telling you that if you don’t live and work passionately then you will never have a truly fulfilling life. However, living a passionate life can be harder than it seems.

How to be Passionate

People who live with passion seem to have some sort of secret to vivacious living that other people do not.

But rather than this being a post on how to find the work you’re meant to do, we will instead be examining why passion is so highly valued to begin with. It’ll answer the question: why does everyone laud passion and passionate people to such a high level?

And after that we will outline how to be passionate in every area of life – especially with women.

5 Beliefs of the Successful Player


successful playerBefore I begin, it is necessary for me to clarify what type of guy this article is intended for.

There are those on the path of wanting to learn Game to find their ideal girlfriend or wives.

Then there are those on the path of wanting to enjoy many women over the course of their lives, maybe upgrading a few to “relationship” status as time goes on.

This article is for the latter; guys with a high sex-drive who wish to indulge fully in as much sexual variety as their circumstances and skill levels allow. This won’t be about how to pick up girls in terms of things to say or do or what to wear. Rather, this is an exploration of the beliefs of the successful player: what’s going through his mind – the foundation on which rests his entire approach to seduction.

After my last article about what it means to be a Man in our society, many of you indicated that you’d like to delve deeper into that concept – that concept of reclaiming our lost masculinity. Well, part of being a Man is thinking like a Man, and successful Men share similar beliefs.

These are in no particular order, as they are each as important as all the others. Here we go…

The “Nice Guy” Problem: Negotiating from a Position of Weakness


I was just browsing a website where I came across young, sexually inexperienced men lecturing other men on how “lucky” they were to have a girl to wake up next to, and how, if they were in those men’s shoes, they would basically walk on water for such girls and do anything the girl could possibly want or ask... if they could get them.

In response, the men who actually got laid and had girlfriends laughed at them and responded with things along the lines of, “And that’s why you don’t have a girlfriend.”

In business, you find it’s of vital importance to be aware of the relative strength (or weakness) of your position walking into a negotiation – any negotiation.

Ideally, you’ll walk into a negotiation where both parties are negotiating from strong positions – you are strong, and the other party is strong. In this case, you stand the best chance at having a fair outcome for both parties (a win-win) because neither side will compromise on things that are important to them.

Also possible – but far less likely – are negotiations where both parties are weak. These will also tend to be “fair” negotiations, as they are alliances of convenience; however, they don’t happen so much because everyone wants to ally himself with someone strong, and this is especially true for the weak.

Lastly, you will encounter negotiations that are weak-strong (or strong-weak), where one party negotiates from a position of relative weakness, and the other negotiates from a position of relative strength. These negotiations tend toward being extraordinarily one-sided in their outcomes the vast majority of the time – they are net value transfers from the weak party to the strong party.

That’s because the weak party inevitably compromises far too much – he knows he has little to offer, and doesn’t know when he’ll get another shot at a deal with a stronger party, so he becomes willing to trade anything simply just to keep the stronger party around and, hopefully, give himself the chance to “prove himself” to said stronger party as someone worthy getting access to even the littlest piece of value back.

Yet these dynamics are not unique to business – they happen with people, too. And the easiest place to see them in action? “Nice guys” trying to get dates and girlfriends.

How to be Good at Decision Making


decision makingMen are supposed to be natural born leaders. They are supposed to voluntarily run into the throes of danger, protect all those who they hold dear, and, most of all, make sound decisions on a consistent basis whenever a challenge or dilemma presents itself.

But if this is what men are supposed to do naturally, why do so many men find it so hard to be good decision-makers? Shouldn’t it just come to them like second nature? Although some people may believe that decision making for a man is easy, all men know that it can be hard to make a decision – not because of the act itself – but more because we fear bringing about a negative outcome or not making the best decision we can in a given situation.

Most of the time when you ask people for advice on decision-making they just say things like: “Just do it!” But this isn’t really advice. Nor is it really useful unless you’re already decisive.

So how can we make ourselves more effective decision makers? That’s what I’m going to talk about today. I’m going to outline some important mindsets and techniques in order to make you stronger and more confident in your decisions and, more importantly, your decision process.

The Purpose of Advanced Techniques


Note from Chase: this article was written by Alek in response to questions from several commenters. It is a clarification by Alek on his style; on why his material is angled the way it is; and on the difference between his advanced material and the motivation behind it from material geared more toward beginners and intermediates. Onward.


Learning to open girls, having some conversation skills, and being able to seduce a girl with your touch and eye contact and then lead her to a seduction location and close the deal is the blueprint to getting laid. It works fine and people get results from it (including me). These basics are all you really need in order to attract and seduce women. You don’t really need advanced techniques to get laid.

advanced techniques

Some of the writers here at Girls Chase are only discussing the basics – as that is all they apply infield. For example, our dear Halvor Jannike has a more than satisfactory sex life, and when he goes out he only uses basic seduction techniques. He is not very talkative, so his seduction skills are mostly nonverbal. His style, his touch, and his eye contact are his tools. He knows how to lead an interaction from social to sexual. There’s nothing fancy about his style, but it works for what he’s looking for.

You can never work enough on your fundamentals, and that is why we will never stop posting about basic seduction concepts here, as they are your foundation. However, if you have goals that go beyond the usual, advanced techniques are often required.

How to Get Started at Picking Up Girls


In “Why Talking Less is (Usually) Best”, Anonymous asks:

Hey Chase, I’ve noticed something with me.

Well, I read most of your articles, understand your advices ( which are great) but I just can’t apply them. Let me explain :

I read an article for instance, I think “ Oh, really cool advice, I SHOULD try it out!!!!! I get like excited about it, eventually try it out but don’t stick to it as a habit so it becomes natural.

So I’m going to ask you something no probably ever did :

How to stick to all the advices available on this site so it can be... natural and it does not feel like acting anymore.

How to use your articles in the best way they can be used?? And how to put them in great practice?

I heard that a habit takes about 30 days to be implemented in someone.

Can it apply for seduction techniques?

This is a common problem, and it is actually something guys ask fairly often: how do I get started applying all this stuff?

start picking up girls

How do you actually get out there meeting girls, chatting them up, and picking them up?

There are various answers on this site, from articles on overcoming approach anxiety to those on forming new habits to those on getting motivated (and out of the house). There is the diagnostic quiz and its four eBooks tailored to your skill level, and there are programs like my tome on the subject or the Mastery package.

However, lately I’ve been catching myself falling into the trap of anyone who’s done something for a long time and telling guys things like, “Dude, just go DO it,” which isn’t much help to someone new.

So, in light of that, what this article is is a nuanced, step-by-step guide to how to get started at picking up girls – how you apply the lessons from Girls Chase, not just on things like nonverbal fundamentals (which you can practice in front of your bathroom mirror), but on things like social skills / approaching / game, which require much more oomph to do.

How to Avoid Being a “Nice Guy”


In both the seduction community and the Manosphere, the term “beta male” is the diametrical opposite of the “alpha male”. He is also a contagious meme in the popular culture, but he is, contrary to the “alpha male”, usually referred to by folk terminology.

He is known as a “nice guy”.

avoid being a nice guy

As discussed in the previous article about “alpha male” and “sigma male” strategies, the term “beta male” is used in an imprecise way in the seduction community and the Manosphere, and I will thus not use it in the rest of this article. However, the almost synonymous concept of a “nice guy” is used in a rather consistent sense in contemporary society and it thus makes sense to discuss what characterizes him.

While there is much advice around on how socially dominant men behave and how to become more socially dominant, there is the problem that the advice usually only attempts to fix superficial behavior patterns of such “nice guys” and does not treat the underlying psychological conditionings that created the “nice guy” in the first place.

This is problematic because it causes incongruence, usually in the form of dominant behavior patterns that are in conflict with the underlying “nice guy” belief system.

There is also an incongruence problem in that a player lifestyle will generate reference experiences that are often deemed as negative in the “nice guy’s” belief system. This article will discuss how the “nice guy” has been conditioned and how the “nice guy” can recondition himself on multiple levels in order to become more socially successful. But first we will discuss why all these “nice guys” are around in the first place.

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