Confidence

How confidence affects results with women, and how to get your confidence, boldness, and "inner game" tightened up and running smoothly.

The Beginning is the Hardest Part


beginning is hardest part
Why’s it have to be so hard to start something new? The truth is, whether it’s sports, art, business, or dating, the hardest part is at the start.

In 2005, the tire company I worked for considered me one of the best salesman in the district. Back in 2001 though, the first customer I ever served as a salesman had so little confidence in me (as a result of my obvious slowness, jitters, and uncertainty) that at one point she stopped me cold, looked me dead in the eye, and told me: “You’d better not fuck up my car.”

In 2006, I’d perform my music for people and they would flip out and tell me I should be on the radio. But in 2002, when I first began to make music, most of what I got was a barrage of hate, telling me my music sucked, I sucked, and (probably the most oft-repeated phrase I got), “Kill yourself, faggot.”

And in 2010, I was doing well enough with girls that I reached a point where my ideal girlfriend-quality girls became a breeze for me to get, and I knew if I went out and picked up hard enough, I could probably find a girl to take home (it might not necessarily be easy – a lot of that is down to luck... but doable). Yet, when I made my first real efforts to meet girls via cold approach in 2001, I failed so hard that I didn’t even try again for another 3.5 years.

I’ve watched a lot of guys get good with girls over the years, and most don’t suck as hard as I did at the beginning, or for nearly as long. Nevertheless, I share these examples to introduce a concept it’s important you get: that the beginning is the hardest part.

If you can get past this part, it gets easier and easier from there.

What to Do When a Girl Rebuffs You


girl rebuffs you
What do you do when she rolls her eyes or sticks her hand in you face? How you handle it is down to if it’s a soft rebuff or a hard one.

Three girls in a nightclub, dressed flashy, keeping to themselves. The redhead was in a shiny, sexy beige dress. The blonde was in tight jean shorts and a white top with no bra. They had an older gal with them, perhaps late 30s, curly black hair and defiant.

I watched one man walk up to them, get spurned, roll off.

Another guy approached; snubbed, and he left.

So, I waited. And after a time, I saw my opening: we’d all moved out to a quieter part of the venue, and at some point the three girls moved out into the same area, out of the loud dance club part.

I was with a few friends who were good with girls but weren’t habitual cold approachers, and they debated whether to make an approach or not. I was just there to spend time with my friends, not to meet girls per se. But I set down my glass and walked over to them.

The girls saw me coming and closed ranks; another sad man to reject. When I reached them, the older gal gave me a half second of eye contact before she put her hand up in my face dismissively and turned away; the blonde wouldn’t look, and the redhead stared off, a bitchy look on her face.

A minute later, I had all three girls laughing and smiling with me. And when after I chatted with my friend, who’d watched the whole thing, all he could ask me was, “What did you say to them?”

A Few Thoughts on MGTOW: Men Going Their Own Ways


MGTOW
What is the MGTOW movement all about? Do MGTOWs reject women, love, sex, and society? Or is the phenomenon about something else...?

On my article “Quit Letting Girls Off the Hook So Much”, Jimbo asks for my take on the MGTOW movement:

That whole MGTOW movement. It seems to have gained steam lately. Their two main talking points are: – Women want to spend their prime years screwing around bad boys and then when they become less desirable they want to settle down with a good man to provide for them. So screw it, I’m not gonna be neither! – Marriage is a trap wherein in a woman grabs her man by the nuts because of all the divorce laws that favor her hugely nowadays and also because of her greedy nature. So screw it, no marriage from this guy!

Yeah, the whole MGTOW thing is an interesting phenomenon.

I’ve clashed with MGTOWs on occasion when they get into the whole ‘rah rah join our cause’ routine... I’m not really the club-joining sort.

But the rah rah MGTOWs aren’t necessarily representative of the movement overall. So what I’d like to do today is take a look at the ‘men going their own way’ movement and share some thoughts on it from a somewhat broader perspective.

24 Ways to be a (Lovable) Dick to Girls


lovable dick
Girls will tell you they don’t like guys who are dicks. But they do. They really do. And with these 24 ways to be a dick to them, they will LOVE you.

Welcome back.

In the Part I of my "lovable dick" series, I explained a very important paradigm:

That being nice to a girl isn't always the nicest thing to do. In fact, sometimes she wants you to be a prick.

Why? Because she needs to know you have standards of behavior. And also, because she wants you to treat her like a little girl and not take her too seriously.

Now that I've thoroughly explained why being a dick is so attractive to women, and in what scenarios, here're 24 ways to make sure she knows that you're ACTUALLY a nice guy (i.e., you'll give her what she wants).

How Dominant Men Approach Business, Pleasure, and Life


dominant men
A dominant man is one who wins. He’s one who holds sway over his dominion. And he does it with his aims, responsibility, interdependence, and victory.

In my article on having girls come join you, a commenter named Max asks the following:

Hey,

This is a totally off topic question, but in all articles regarding, being powerful, dominant and sexy, I could only pick out physical attributes such as slower body movements etc. Can you just describe his attitude and how he look at life, and how can I become one too, through day to day activities. Thanks!

This is a fun question for me. I rank dominance of his own life and sphere as a quality at the apogee of man’s cultivation. The man who holds true dominion over his endeavors is the closest man can ever get to absolute freedom. Combine this dominance with a clear moral character and you have a man who not only gets what he wants, but attracts, inspires, and leads, as well.

How you come to possess this attitude of striving toward dominion, and the kind of clarity and magnetism that surround it and intertwine with it, is what we’ll talk about today.

How to be Quirky, in an Attractive, Winning Way


how to be quirky
Strangeness, oddity, quirk: these might not sound like the traits of an attractive man. Yet, they can be very compelling – and most attractive men have their quirks.

I swear I’ve never met a man who has your knack for lack of social grace. If you weren’t naturally charming, someone would have stabbed you by now.

— Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man’s Fear

One of my closest friends sent me this quote from our favorite fantasy novel. He said that it reminded him of me.

And, although I have been likened to water by some and a lion by others, I’ve always thought of myself as a fool.

The kind of foolishness I speak of is that of the Fool card in Tarot.

He skips through the world like a child, eyes to the sky, head in the heavens, knapsack on back, and always on the precipice of a great fall (like, literally, he’s about to fall off a cliff). As a fool, I’ve always been attracted to foolish, weird, and strange people and things.

One of my earliest fascinations was with the antagonist from the video game Final Fantasy 6. His name is Kefka, and he is a nihilistic, psychopathic, murderous villain who dresses like a jester.

He begins the story as this weak mage, carrying out the orders of his emperor, laughing at everyone and everything. And then, by the end of the game, he becomes the God of Magic and literally destroys the world, all whilst laughing at everyone and everything.

Strangely, he is one of the most beloved, if not the most loved villain in all of Final Fantasy. His appeal is akin to that of DC’s The Joker (and the creators of Final Fantasy probably drew influence from him for Kefka’s personality).

Others in fiction who work off the same premise are characters like Elodin from the Kingkiller Chronicles, Wit from the Stormlight Archive, The Comedian from Watchmen, or even Rust Coehle from True Detective.

They are wild, batshit insane, and yet terribly charismatic despite having a natural inclination for ungraceful behavior.

How to Never Feel Nervous to Meet Girls Again


nervous with girls
She’s over there, but you feel so nervous about going up to meet her. Maybe she’ll reject you; maybe she won’t be nice. There are a few things to realize if you feel this way, though.

What could you achieve with women if you were fearless?

Think of all the things you could have done and said.

I myself did not start off doing this void of emotion. It used to be so bad for me that I would shake uncontrollably from just the thought of approaching a random person. Everyone has felt this way to varying levels of potency at one point in their life or another. So what is there to do?

You will never completely rid yourself of this. Over time it will dissipate more and more but it will always be there. Yet you can elevate yourself from it. I personally have come a long way from where I used to be. From my meager one approach a week to now being able to approach on command whenever I want.

How do I do this? Needless to say it is not because I conquered my fear but instead because I learned to approach in spite of it. And you can too. You can go into a venue feeling out of it and leave it feeling like a god consistently by taking on the right mindsets and actions. What are they?

How to Get into Sexual State (and Make You and Her Horny)


sexual state
Sexual state lets you project sexuality and attract girls with your vibe. To get it, you must imagine sex, quit masturbation, and get laid more.

Hi there. Today I will discuss sexual state – as in, the feeling of being horny and desiring sex – and how it can benefit you in the field. I will discuss how it works and how you can use it to its fullest potential. Sexual state is a biologically informed mental state in which you want to bond on a sexual level with someone.

So let us first discuss the masculine aspect of sexual state – how can we use sexual state in field to attract women? Then we will talk about how you can increase your chances of getting into a sexual state to begin with.

10 Years Picking Up Girls: 3 BIG Lessons


In this video, I tell you how my perspectives on women have changed over the 10 years I have been meeting and picking up women. I also point out some of the ways beginners think about picking up girls that aren’t always the most helpful, and share with you some alternate mindsets you can use when you go out to meet girls:

How to Figure Out Your Standards for Hookups and Flings


Today I will just discuss something that I have been thinking about a lot lately – namely, your hookup standards. By standards I am referring to the different elements or traits in a woman that you enjoy, making you willing to pursue her.

hookup standards

Standards are very personal, meaning that there is a subjective element to them. Remember that at the end of the day, you decide which women you want to put effort into.

This post will just be a reflection over standards and not make any claims about what is right or wrong, but rather what choices will give you the most success in the long run. It is the practical element that I am about to discuss.

The perspective of this post is to discuss how one can either:

Anyway, let us get on with it.

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