Confidence

How confidence affects results with women, and how to get your confidence, boldness, and "inner game" tightened up and running smoothly.

Perfect Just as You Are? If You Want Results, Ditch the Egotism


egotismThe vast majority of people in the world operate under the belief that they are good enough. Since birth we’ve been fed ideas that we are perfect just the way we are. Doesn’t matter if you’re skinny, fat, awkward, or have a bad temper; it’s just your personality, and you can’t just change that. After all, we’re all unique – all 9 billion of us – which leads to the conclusion that there is at least one person who will love us unconditionally: our soul mate.

But, if I’ve found you here, reading these words, it implies that you understand that love – real, passionate, sex-driven love – is not the same variety of unconditional love that you receive from your mother. There’s something different about it.

Women aren’t going to want to sleep with you because they see you as their soul mate, they are going to want to sleep with you because you are attractive. It’s because you lead them decisively towards the bedroom, not because you are her one and only special someone; not because you were destined to be together.

However, understand this as you may, there is a chance that this knowledge has fooled you into being something that you are not. Those ideas that we’re consistently fed that we are good enough are hard to let go of, and in the face of action we often would rather make up lies to make us feel as though we are that attractive man who can lead decisively.

Which, in the end, is just another way of saying you are perfect the way you are.

You bought into the idea without even meaning to.

In order to relinquish control of the little white lies that you tell yourself, you must actively wrestle control of your ego. Yes, your ego, because after all these years of messages that you are fine the way you are, you must understand that something in you has to change before you are to obtain the results you seek.

Don’t Ask For a Guarantee


Don’t Ask For a Guarantee

If only a woman just saw you better and gave you that chance to say your piece you would have the time and motivation to do your best, right?

We all like to think we are pretty handy, when push comes to shove. We think that if we throw ourselves into something head first or are given the opportunity we will knock it out of the park. Sadly, the reality is that often we choke or let the opportunity pass us by out of a fear of failure. We don’t capitalize on opportunities, and we often even discourage them, treating them like annoyances to be purged instead of chances to grow.

We enjoy thinking of ourselves as champions who will come out on top at the moment of truth, but the reality is usually much more awkward, and the solutions are somewhat unavailable to ordinary perception at first glance, so we try to bury those opportunities instead of trying to grasp them.

No one likes feeling awkward or blind, so we try to suppress our fears of failure through negotiation. It gives an illusion of sophistication or thoughtfulness that is socially accepted. In certain cultures and time periods it is extremely prevalent; arranged marriages, cultural dress, duties, etc. And it is all arranged in a way that takes certain social status away from the woman to limit her options in order to make her more pliable. We forget that it is affecting her life in a negative way to unsuccessfully enhance our own.

How Narcissism, Bad Relationships, and Other Problems May Stall Your Progress as a Seducer


Many men who learn seduction get to the level where they get laid, but very few reach their full potential. Why is that so and what can we do about it?

This article is only directly relevant for intermediates and up, but I would still recommend everyone read it. Knowledge about potential future traps enables people to avoid them in advance and do fewer stupid things to themselves and others in the future.

6 Strategic Changes to Make Your Growth Curve as a Seducer More Efficient


Note from Chase: this is our first article from Ethan Fierre, the man in charge of the editing team here at Girls Chase. You might hear ‘editor’ and imagine a nerdy, bookworm-ish type, however Ethan is anything but – he’s vibrant, dynamic, and full of crazy tales about women he’s bedded from the U.S., Russia, and more. For his first piece here, he’ll be talking about how to learn and progress with seduction faster. Here’s Ethan.


Working on any skill-set will inevitably sometimes be a grind, and seduction is no exception; sometimes you just wish there were easier ways to get to the level you want to be at. This is likely why you turn to sites like this one in the first place: you are trying to speed up you growth curve by learning from those who are at a higher level than you in the area you’re targeting.

Growth Curve as a Seducer More Efficient

In seduction there are a number of strategic changes you can make where the marginal gain per unit effort is high. That means that you put in a minimal amount of effort while gaining maximum returns.

What are these strategic changes?

That is what we’ll be talking about today: basic strategic changes that will dramatically increase your conversion rate (going from the initial meet to the bedroom and onward) for beginner and intermediate seducers.

But first, an aside: depending on where you’re at on your growth curve, your strategy will necessarily be different.

For example, someone who is just learning about seduction will probably want to be approaching a lot of people all the time, while someone who is more skilled will find less use in that practice and will instead improve faster by focusing on other things, like the relationships they already have or their reputations.

Because of this, I have organized this post into two sections:

  1. One for beginners and
  2. One for intermediate players (journeymen)

If you don’t know where you stand, you can take this test to find out.

Remember: knowing where you’re at now compared to where you were when you began and where you’re aiming to be in the future is important to keep in mind if you are to steadily make progress. You don’t want to be targeting goals that are too easy for you, but you also don’t want to be aiming for things that feel unattainable, as that will discourage instead of encourage you. So, keeping that in mind, let’s dive in.

A Rebellious Mind; or, Not Taking Anything at Face Value


rebellious mindIn “When to Throw the Ball into Her Court (and When Not To)”, a reader writes:

You have some vague guides on believing certain things as well as some articles on what you should believe. You have some important ideas like independence and having conviction spread out throughout your site. What your website really lacks though is a guide to psychological strength. What it is, how you get it, why its more important then fundamentals (or at least as important). Many of your articles peripherally address this concept. What do I mean though by psychological strength? A great question, I’m glad you asked. I love concision so I’m going to describe it in two words. Irreverence and identity. I believe that true leadership and independence only comes from uprooting everything that influenced you in your past. Deconstructing your beliefs. Consciously assessing all your beliefs and finally replacing your previously held beliefs with new ones. These new beliefs are what give you conviction in your life. You form a new belief in yourself, a self-concept, self-respect, and self-adoration. Finally leading to self-actualization. It starts with irreverence and a challenging mentality of everything and finishes with an identity.
Ciao

I have considered writing on this topic before, but shied away from it because I honestly don’t think it’s something that most people aspire to.

It’s also not something I have consciously learned to any degree, which makes me skeptical of its teachability – I don’t generally like talking about things that in my case are more natural ability than they are adopted qualities.

However, I suppose it’s at least worth having up for anyone curious for curiosity’s sake, so heck... why not talk about it.

Caveats out of the way then, allow me to present the psychological qualities of irreverence, personal conviction, and psychological independence – and how you perhaps may develop them if you choose to.

How to Have Sex When You’re New and Unsure


In your lifetime you will have many experiences. Some will be frustrating. Some will be triumphant. Some will be painful. Some will be easily forgotten.

But there are some experiences that everyone remembers. For many people in the West, for example, one of those experiences is their first car. Whenever you asked someone in the West about their first car they get this very wondrous and nostalgic look in their eyes. And you can tell that a wonderful story is about to unfold.

But for all people, one experience that people will never forget no matter what is the time they lost their virginity. Regardless if it was awkward, lackluster, or incredible, this experience will always leave an indelible mark on the storyline of every person’s life. And it will always be something they can readily account without a moment’s hesitation.

But what if you haven’t had this experience yet? What if you’ve been wondering what it would be like to cross this threshold, this rite of passage, and feel for yourself what all people have engaged in for ages past? What if you don’t know how to have sex?

The thought probably makes you feel excited. It probably makes you feel nervous. And it probably fills you with the pressure of feeling like you have to do it at the right time, in the right place, and with the right person.

So how do you know when the time is right for you? And when you do decide, how do you go about actually doing it? That’s the topic I’ll be covering today. I’m going to talk about what factors should influence your decision to have sex the first time and how to go about having sex when you’re new and a bit unsure.

The uncertainty can definitely be a little nerve-racking, but just know that you’re not alone in feeling that way.

How to be Optimistic: 5 Steps (You Must Take)


Last week I wrote a post about How to be Passionate. That post was focused on becoming passionate with women, with work, and with life in general by generating an internal understanding and system in order to bring about greater awareness, curiosity, and appreciation for life.

So it’s only natural that I follow that post up with one on how to be optimistic. It seems that optimism has taken over the general zeitgeist of the West (perhaps even to a fault), and that literature, teaching, and educational/inspirational talks are all focused on the power of optimism and how to become optimistic yourself.

How to be Optimistic

Although I do not believe that optimism is a cure-all for any state of existence, it has been proven that people who are optimistic tend to be more successful in life and generally healthier in body as well. And it doesn’t really hurt to have the ability to look at a situation and learn and grow from it.

So today I want to talk about how to become optimistic. And don’t worry, this won’t be one of those “feel-good” kinds of posts where I just stroke your ego and tell you how special you are. We will discuss real practical steps and mindsets (as I always do) in order to boost your sense of optimism and general life satisfaction.

Want Dates? Then Approach Girls


I’m staying with Colt out in Denver right now, and we had an interesting conversation yesterday in which he mentioned that some of his friends read Girls Chase religiously, then go out to bars and refuse to approach girls at all.

The way he phrased this to me specifically was to ask me: “What do you do when you have friends who are trying to go the whole James Bond GC approach and look super cool but never approach?”

approach girls

So, yeah, I get this. Approaching’s no fun. It opens you up to potential public embarrassment, since you’re going to get rejected more often than not. Worse, if your ego’s feeling a little fragile, or there are people around you’d like to think well of you, that ego or that impression might take a hit if you go out there, walk up, say ‘hi’, and get shot down.

But if you want girls, you have to approach girls.

The “super suave James Bond who just chills at the bar sipping a martini and just waits for girls to open him” is a kind of funny seduction myth that it’s nice to imagine yourself inhabiting.

However, it’s a myth, and no more. Not even Bond himself does it – his approaches are cool, and smooth, but he makes them.

This is something I see guys who are newer and even guys a bit more advanced doing. Most guys fall into it sometimes. I fall into it sometimes. “I’ll just wait here until girls gravitate to me and then dating and sex will happen.”

But nothing happens if you don’t approach.

When You Should React vs. When You Should Not


Being unreactive to challenging situations is often the strongest option available to you. When a girl is testing you hard, someone is publicly belittling you, or things are just generally going crazy and spiraling out of control, the most nonplussed, nonchalant man typically wins: he shows dominance, control, and unflappability.

when to react

However, sometimes the calm of unreactiveness must be set aside, and situations simply need dealing with.

Sometimes the girl testing you needs to be set straight; sometimes person belittling you needs to be put in his place; sometimes the crazy situation requires you to place both hands on the wheel and make things sane again.

If you react in situations where remaining unreactive is ideal, you violate the Law of Least Effort and appear tryhard; yet, if you fail to react in situations where your reaction is sorely needed, you seem weak, fearful, and indecisive.

That makes things necessarily a bit trickier, because there isn’t a perfect one-size-fits-all response to every situation; sometimes it’s better to not react, other times better to react.

To know which one is called for, you must have a read on the specific situation... and you must be able not to bow to social pressure.

How to be Passionate


The big mantra in the West is “Find your passion”. Every person is constantly telling you that if you don’t live and work passionately then you will never have a truly fulfilling life. However, living a passionate life can be harder than it seems.

How to be Passionate

People who live with passion seem to have some sort of secret to vivacious living that other people do not.

But rather than this being a post on how to find the work you’re meant to do, we will instead be examining why passion is so highly valued to begin with. It’ll answer the question: why does everyone laud passion and passionate people to such a high level?

And after that we will outline how to be passionate in every area of life – especially with women.

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