Confidence

How confidence affects results with women, and how to get your confidence, boldness, and "inner game" tightened up and running smoothly.

The Four Flavors of Swag

swagger
A studly swagger is more than just a walk. It’s an entire way of being. And you’ve got choices. There are four (4) kinds of swag you can adopt: circumstantial, jerk, and more.

A man’s swagger is his foundation. It is the gait of his being and reflects everything about him – how he sees the world, himself, and the relationship between the two.

Even when you are standing still, the way you walk is clear. Because the way you walk isn’t always the way you move one leg in front of the other.

It’s about how you stop and turn, how you grab things, the way you move your hands when you speak. It’s the way you stand. It’s the way you speak.

And in this article, we will discuss how to make your movement swagalicious.

Why? Because women pay attention.

I remember once at a party, the girlfriend of my fraternity brother told me as I walked up to her:

“Hector, I knew that was you I saw earlier!”

“How’s that?” I replied.

“I saw you walking around the party earlier. The way you walk through a crowd is unmistakable.”

“Explain.”

“You...” she paused to think. “You look like you know what you’re doing. You’ve been here before and know how it all works.”

All I could do was smile. That was one of the greatest compliments I could be given.

Now, there are many flavors of swag. Let’s begin with the most basic.

Your Sexual Anxiety and Her Sexual Anxiety: How to Beat Both

sexual anxiety
You’re gonna need a better strategy than retreat & regroup.

Today we’ll discuss three (3) ways you can make sex more relaxing and pleasing for both you and the girl you’re with, and beat sexual anxiety in both of you.

When it’s your first time to have sex with a new girl, it can often feel a bit awkward. The lack of rapport can make the whole process stiffer (in a bad way).

This, in the long run, can lead to anxiety – she may close herself off sexually, or you might experience erectile dysfunction.

In this article, you’ll get some tools you can use to ease the process of moving toward sex... So you both feel more comfortable, and you’re able to take full pleasure without the binds of sexual anxiety.

Hung Up on Her Sexual History? 3 Steps to Not Be

sexual history
It’s easy for guys to get hung up on a girlfriend’s sexual history. Yet you can get over this if you choose to. To do it, you’ll use 3 steps.

Whenever we start dating someone new, we’re bound to soon discover a few facts about who they once dated and the amount and kind of sex they enjoyed, whether we like it or not. A new girlfriend will often tell us about her past, or we’ll end up asking about it. Either way, sometimes the truth can hurt. A lot.

Learning that a partner once enjoyed threesomes, had five sex buddies on the go at once, or has slept with fifty guys... this can be a hard pill to swallow. Some men are able to just forget about it. Some don’t care. Others slip into a whirlpool of self-torment characterized by OCD-like repetitive thoughts and emotions which they find extremely hard to shift.

You may have heard of this form of anxiety-ridden obsession referred to as “retroactive jealousy” or “retrospective jealousy”. In men this tends to be an anxiety about a girlfriend’s sexual past. In women it tends to be an anxiety over who their man was once in love with. There are genetic and biological reasons for this, but in this post I’ll be focusing on the former.

Now, not all men are willing to date (let alone marry) a girl who’s “been around the block”, and this is a perfectly reasonable position to take. But what if you’ve bagged yourself a great girl who’s wonderful in every respect, except you are bothered by her promiscuous past? Should you ditch her because she once used to enjoy hooking up with guys just for sex? Or, in later years, would you regret passing up on the possible love of your life all because of her past?

These are all points worth considering, because there’s nothing stopping you from moving on if you feel you can’t handle a girlfriend’s past or that you shouldn’t have to learn about it in the first place. Many guys hold this view, and some studies have shown that the more promiscuous a woman is or has been in the past, the more likely it is she’ll cheat when she settles down.

However, if you happen to think she’s a great girl in every respect but are obsessing about her “number”, then it might be worth trying to regain control of your thoughts and emotions regarding this.

If you want to start overcoming retroactive jealousy rather than be tormented by it, keep reading; in this post I’ll show you the tools necessary to learn how to get over your girlfriend’s past. The first step is to research and discover what causes a retroactive jealousy disorder in the first place.

Tactics Tuesdays: Target One Thing at a Time to Get Good with Women

get good with women
You load a barbell one side at a time. The most effective way to improve with girls is to use the same approach: one side at a time, then the other.

There is one thing that bugged me more than anything else when going out with someone new to hit on girls, and I never realized it till a few months back, and only then did I begin to put it into words.

Odds are, if you go out to talk to women, you do this at least some of the time too. Most guys do. And it’s bad for you. I’ll tell you what the thing is in a moment, but first, let me tell you about Seneca’s Barbell.

A month ago I read Antifragile by Nassim Taleb. In it, Taleb highlights the problem I noticed guys running into when I’d go out with them to chat up girls. The solution for this problem is what Taleb terms “Seneca’s Barbell”.

The idea behind Seneca’s Barbell is that when you work on part A of a two-part project, focus just on A; when you work on part B of that project, focus just on B. Do not work half and half on A and B at the same time, because you divvy up your attention between foci and prevent yourself doing either effectively.

As Taleb puts it, think of a barbell used by a bodybuilder. When he prepares the barbell, the bodybuilder places the weights on either side of the bar, not in the middle. Engage and become fully consumed with one side, then be fully consumed with the other. Never try to do both at once. Use your focus to its fullest.

Let me explain how this idea applies to picking up women.

The “I Have to Get Every Girl” Insecurity

get every girl
Ever feel bad because random girls don’t like you? This is the “I have to get every girl insecurity” – and it can lose you dates and lays.

Not so long ago, I was out with a girlfriend. I’d just left a café I was working at to meet her, waiting outside. When I got there, I greeted her, and then she pointed me to a girl next to her I hadn’t met before. “This is my friend,” she said.

I glanced at the friend, and she glanced at me, and I saw a half-second automatic expression of displeasure flash across her face, before she forced a smile and said hi. I said hello. And I laughed to myself.

The friend wasn’t particularly attractive (she wasn’t ugly; just ordinary). The reaction could’ve been because she didn’t like my look / something about me, or it could’ve been because I accidentally (instinctively) checked her out quickly upon turning toward her (and she didn’t like my look / something about me). I can’t really help it, it’s just an automatic thing, and it excites girls who like me but turns off the ones who don’t.

Either way, once I excused myself to use the toilet, but before I returned, I thought about this interaction, and realized that while this did not bother me now, four or five years ago I’d have taken it personal and felt hurt. And I thought back and realized I’ve seen plenty of this (girl flashes me a look of distaste; I find it amusing), and it hasn’t bothered me in a good long while.

A girl was rejecting me – right? That’s a negative judgment.

But I got a kick out of it. So what’s changed?

Is She Too Hot? Well, Looks are Subjective

looks are subjective
Before you think she’s too hot and out of your reach, consider this: “hot” for you isn’t necessarily “hot” for the next man. Beauty is subjective.

Today we will discuss briefly the latest theories on whether or not looks are subjective. We have so far discussed a lot about women’s looks and the difficulty of picking them up. The theories covered in those earlier posts concerning the correlation between looks and difficulty of pick-up are more or less based on the premise that looks are more or less objective.

We will challenge this notion a bit – and see how the subjective aspect of looks plays out on the level of difficulty:

  • Is our perception of someone else’s looks subjective?

  • If yes, will/can it affect the level of difficulty in picking her up?

  • Is there still some objectivity left in our perception of attractiveness?

These are questions I would like to discuss in this post. Now, before I move on, I just want to make it clear to the reader that I am not a natural scientist. There will be parts of this post that biologists and other natural scientists would be able to describe more scientifically. As I do not have a lot of knowledge concerning how our DNA affects how we perceive other people, I will avoid discussing it in the first place. In other words, I will leave out the “scientific aspect”, as I believe there are better online resources on biology outside of GirlsChase.com.

I will therefore focus more on my own experiences and observations over the course of nine years in the pick-up community. The article will focus more on the seduction aspect rather than the biological aspect. The end goal of this site is, after all, to make one a better seducer.

What Gets More Girls: The Normal Guy Approach or Pickup?

normal guy approach
Pickup artists study how to get girls... But a lot of PUAs are kinda weird. Is it better to study dating, or to rely on “normal guy game”?

Prelude

This is an article I have been working on since I have started working for Girls Chase. It has been up in my head and I have struggled multiple times to explain this on paper.

Well, here is my first attempt, and my view on normal vs. pickup freak game.

This has been a concept many may find themselves shaking their heads at the pure absurdity of... That someone has broken down something this inconsequential to mere numbers on a graph.

But it is none the less something I thought would make for a good piece (if not perhaps an insufferable one for the wrong readers). So allow me to apologize in advance for my nerdiness.

Having Sex is Supposed to be Easy

sex is easy
You’ve no doubt heard it before: “It’s instinct.” So why does it seem like it’s so hard to meet girls and have sex in the world of today?

Yesterday in “How to Take Girls Off Their “Scripts””, I mentioned I intended to get an article up titled this. So here it is.

Sex isn’t supposed to be hard. It’s supposed to be easy. And it makes sense, right? The fact that you’re alive right now means every single one of your male ancestors stretching back a billion or so years got not just laid, but managed to knock up at least one chick once, and quite possibly knocked up one chick multiple times, or even multiple chicks multiple times.

It’s easy for men to stress out about sex. If you’re young and inexperienced, you might feel the fear grip you as you imagine becoming a 30-year-old male virgin, still sitting alone in his room playing video games and watching anime, lost in fantasies about fictional characters. If you’re a recent divorcé, you may look at all your nimble competitors in the fast-moving dating world of today and wonder if you’ll ever be as sharp as they are, and if any woman will want you again.

Why does sex seem so difficult to get for so many men? Is it a society-level problem, is it a problem of the women, is it a problem of competition, or is it a problem of men themselves?

I want to dig into that a little bit, and also give you a bit of different perspective you may not have considered before on how fear and instinct play into things here.

The Unicorn Hunter

unicorn hunter
Perfect 10s, unicorns, what have you – do they even exist? In particular, we look at American girls, and if you can still find a good one.

There’s a special kind of girl out there.

This kind of girl is perfect.

During the Pick Up Artist Era, she was known as the Perfect 10.

Debates raged across the PUA world as to whether ‘perfect 10s’ even really existed. Did they? Some men claimed 10s walked the Earth and were attainable. Other men claimed there were no such things as 10s. 7s, 8s, 9s, okay. But 10s? Perish the thought.

Now, in the Manosphere Era, they call such a girl the Unicorn.

In the Manosphere, now, we see the same debate rage as previously raged among the PUAs: do unicorns exist? Are they obtainable? Or are they but a figment of man’s imagination: the ideal woman, dreamed up yet unrealized? The female human analogue to Plato’s perfect forms, perhaps.

To answer this question of whether these ‘unicorns’ exist and whether they are obtainable, though, first we need to figure out exactly how we’re defining them, and agree on a definition... Because every man defines these ‘perfect girls’ a little bit different.

And before we do that, we should talk about why we’re even talking about unicorns in the first place.