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Confidence

How confidence affects results with women, and how to get your confidence, boldness, and "inner game" tightened up and running smoothly.

Becoming the Beast, Part 5: A Suit-Wearing Wolf

suit-wearing wolf
Inside every man is a beast. Yet how to use this beast in the context of civilization? In civil society, the man must tame his beast – but not kill it.

The end is nigh.

  • In part 1 of this series, we discussed how we live in a primal and violent world that has little mercy for weakness.

  • In part 2, we talked about how you need to cultivate a primal ferocity if you want to survive in this world, let alone thrive. This ferocity helps you socially and sexually.

  • In part 3, we covered some habits and mannerisms that will help you cultivate and demonstrate your ferocity.

  • Then, in the penultimate article, we covered how to transmute this animalistic energy into the bedroom and make your girl’s bed rock like a Flintstone.

Now, for the culmination of the series, I want to cover how to be primal but civilized and how to understand the difference between cold, civilized power and primal power.

The "I've Got to Wait for Girls to Meet Me" Thing

wait for her to approach
Do you wait for girls to approach you? It may be scary to approach women yourself, but waiting for them to ask first is a losing proposition.

One of the members of our forum has talked about his strategy of waiting for girls to meet him, and then spitting game at them. It doesn't seem to work well for him, since he is perpetually single and has been hung up on the same girl for over a year, hoping every time she breaks up with a boyfriend that maybe she'll pay more attention to him.

Nevertheless though, he's committed. He ignores all the advice from every other member on there and from me that he forget this girl and go meet new ones. This is his strategy, and he's decided to stick to it.

I don't think there are a lot of guys who are 100% into this strategy of “I've just got to wait for women to come meet me”, like Neal is. But there are guys who slip into this some or a lot of the time. So we should talk about it.

Because even while objectively this is about as effective as thinking, “I've just got to wait for the money to come to me,” or, “I've just got to wait until a Ferrari shows up in my driveway,” subjectively it can feel like a valid strategy at the time when you're thinking it.

But it's not a valid strategy. It's a terrible strategy.

Becoming the Beast, Part 3: How to Act and Look Like a Beast

act like a beast
In Part 3, we get into the details of beasthood. How does a man become a beast? By uncivilizing himself, and primalizing himself.

This is Part 3 of a series (Part 1, Part 2).

We live in a primal world.

We know that we have to cultivate a ferocity through pain and asceticism.

But how do we actually act like a beast?

If you'd like, you can rewire the entire way you exist to be more primal. Women will love and respect you for it. And men will respect and fear you for it.

There are many passive and active behaviors you can embrace to unleash the inner beast.

10 Breakthrough Lessons from 10 Years Picking Up Girls

lessons from picking up girls
Non-linearity, study vs. practice, ethics, and fun... these are just 4 of 10 transformative lessons from a decade of picking up girls.

This weekend is special to me – very special to me. It was in October 2007 that I, after unfortunately catching a serious kidney infection, had a whole new world open up to me that would change my life forever.

I was 14 back then, a normal teenager who was a nobody in school. Life was not that fun; it was not special. Just an ordinary life for a teenager. There was some trauma when I was being bullied at 13, but that changed after I moved. Nevertheless, up till then, I never felt like the guy I desired to be. I saw all these popular kids having it all easy, whereas I was just a nobody.

It was in that autumn of 2007 when I caught a throat infection that spread to my kidney. I was away from school for a while. I was bored to death, could not really go out, and was even hospitalized. A good friend of mine bought me a book one day, as reading was more or less the only thing I could do at the time – I felt too weak to get up and play computer games. Back then, I considered reading to be something old people did, but this book surely caught my attention.

It was the infamous book The Game by Neil Strauss. This was just prior to the pickup artist boom, when pickup and seduction became mainstream and there was still an active ongoing community that was pretty closed off to the public. Many of these places were open to the public, sure – if you happened to discover them – but you had to play by the rules. You had to follow their strict philosophy, and there was no room for keyboard jockeying (writing about stuff you had no experience with) or whining (“I cannot get laid because of X reason”) or supplication toward a particular woman (“There is this special girl I met…”). That last one was called oneitis, to which the prescription was GFTOW, which stood for “Go find ten other women.”

I personally got pretty seduced by all this. My motivation seemed congruent with the overall philosophy of that community – to learn the techniques and master an understanding of social interaction that was almost mathematical. It was all about technicalities, sometimes down to the sickest details. And guess what? I loved it back then, and I love it even more now, because after these 10 years, it has become clear to me that those who are technical about this whole seduction thing BECOME MACHINES, or rather, weapons of mass seduction.

Want to Make Progress in the Game? Do Your Homework

do your homework
Some men practice game for years and don’t improve. When you zoom in on why, it’s almost always because they don’t do their homework.

Here’s the truth. To improve your skills with getting women, you can go all out. You can “burn a bar to the ground” night after night, approaching every girl from 4 to 10 on the scale, but if you have no direction, you will inevitably end up spinning your wheels.

And I’m surprised that I so rarely see anyone take the time to sit down and really look at things with a logical eye. Well, in this article, I am going to reveal how I myself have reached an elite level by doing what every young kid hates – homework.

I have friends who have not seen much progress despite their interest and having shared my journey from my beginning to where I am now. They still do the same openers, the same half-assed, timid approaches. Yet they keep asking me what’s wrong with them and why nothing is changing.

Their issue isn’t simply that they haven’t learned from their failures, it’s that they don’t recognize their failures. Sometimes, it’s nearly impossible to identify what is causing our own failures. It’s the same for us all; everyone has essential things they don’t know they don’t know. It can be difficult to connect a reaction or rejection with something you did wrong, even over several approaches. So how can one find the puzzle pieces that are missing?

Becoming the Beast, Part 2: Unchain the Conqueror

the conqueror
To rekindle your own raw masculinity, you must become comfortable with those most familiar of masculine friends: struggle and pain.

We live in the most perfect of all existences.

Our good deeds are always rewarded, even if we don't notice. If we truly did someone a kindness – including ourselves – it will be rewarded in that moment or in the future.

Likewise, justice is always doled out in perfect unity, even if we do not always see its consequences.

The fruits we sow always come to fruition, no matter how far we run. Even if we isolate ourselves atop a remote mountain, away from any external, hostile threat, the most dangerous judge of them all, the one within ourselves, will crawl its way out from the depths of our being and ravage us as ruthlessly as we have others.

Existence is perfect.

But it isn’t always pretty.

Becoming the Beast, Part 1: A Primal World

becoming the beast
Despite the trappings of civilization, we’re all animalistic savages at heart. In Part 1 of this series, we’ll explore just how central to humans is sex.

We live in a brave new world.

Our hunter-gatherer days came to an end with the advent of agriculture, which allowed us to settle permanently in one location and call it home. This escape from the daily struggles of travel and hunting allowed us to build and to think.

Humanity gained the time to erect tall structures and new philosophies. These ideas seeped their way into every citizen's mind, and our animalistic natures began to shift into something different.

Eventually, this cohesion of custom and habit we call culture brought us to the next great leap – the Industrial Revolution. With new forms of power in our hands, modern technology was born.

Technology quickly evolved into what it is today, granting us the power to unleash our animal instincts with the touch of a button by sending some random girl across the sea a picture of our dick.

We may live in civilization, but we are still animals.

Our entire lives still revolve around the most basic of desires – to fuck, to eat, to kill, and to survive.

Despite our evolution, we still rely on leaders. We need someone to tell us what to do and how to think. And we choose the most powerful leaders (or at least the one who makes us feel more powerful). This was Donald Trump’s trump card in the U.S. election. With slogans like “Make America Great Again” and his focus on buzzwords like “winning,” he energized his base to feel like winners. Hillary Clinton, while very popular and persuasive in her own right, relied on victim mentalities and moral superiority. These make people feel safe, but not powerful. Whether it's through fear, respect, or love, we tend to choose the more powerful force to guide us.

We only value what is useful. If you are not creating, leading, or destroying on behalf of a culture, you are relegated to the bottom and given only the meager scraps of the resources. At the heart of all this is the “givers vs. takers” dichotomy. Those who provide value are, not so ironically, given the most in return. Powerful people are given passes for crimes and moral indignities that lower-value people are not. Whoever is useful to the herd survives. Whoever is not is left behind.

We pretend to act on logic or virtue, but this is an illusion. We act because of emotions. You cannot “logically act.” It’s an oxymoron. Logic isn’t a fuel for action, it’s the glue that binds thoughts together. You can want to do something then logically decide it’s not the optimal move – if you have good self-discipline – but even that “better, logical” decision is still based on emotion. You are sacrificing one desire that is recognized as short term or too dangerous for a long-term desire that will ultimately provide more pleasure. Nevertheless, the action is still motivated by emotion and feeling. Even the grandest philosophies and most noble virtues are inspired by emotion. We are forever animals looking for the greatest pleasure and the greatest resources of pleasure.

This is what civilization is – a big game in which we argue, fight, kill, and steal to achieve the greatest pleasures available.

There can be virtuous notions behind our killing and stealing, but it’s impossible to separate our desires from these acts.

And at the heart of this grand game we play?

Sex.

Sexual Authenticity Podcast with Daka Guy

It’s been a few months, but we’re back again with a new podcast, this time with the insightful and harmonic Daka Guy, of New York City. Daka Guy is a tantra instructor – which is another way to say women pay him to teach them sex. He’s one of the most spiritually and sexually balanced individuals I know, and I have personally attended his classes and been transformed by them.

Interest Preference Desire

interest preference desire
If you want to do something, but you never take action do it... what is that? It’s a case where you have the interest – but lack the desire.

A friend who has been consulting with me about the dating world visited me recently for a weekend – and brought some interesting stories to share. He graduated from college last year and moved to a new city, landing a prestigious job at a highly respected global firm with a six-figure starting pay and great benefits (right out of school!). Basically, he fulfilled the career dream he had since before college, and now he lives in a beautiful new apartment in a great part of town, with lots of space and lots of money.

Regarding this side of his life, he’s completely fulfilled – well, sort of. He likes his life on paper, but after actually speaking to him about the details, I discovered he feels immersed in soul-killing consumerism. He liked my tiny, modest apartment with its very human and soulful feel. Before leaving, he said my vibe had rubbed off on him – he felt sweeter and more relaxed.

Yet on the dating field, he hasn’t gone on a single date since moving to his new city. He has been following Girls Chase for almost two years and has since improved on his vibe and does cold approach occasionally. However, he has yet to ask out a girl in his new town. He tells me that he’s waiting to become more fit (he goes to the gym regularly and is still looking for new clothes) to present himself better. He’s also working on his fundamentals and is pursuing new hobbies and meet-ups where he might meet women. He also laments that there are no women in his area he really has a desire for. In other words, he doesn’t find them attractive, so they’re not even worth approaching or pursuing.

I will note that he did enjoy the look of women in my area – so location is a factor indeed!

He wanted to know what he could do to start dating women, and I told him that right now, there’s nothing he can really do, because no matter what I tell him, he’s not actually going to do it. How did I deduce this? I told him that in this moment in his life, he doesn’t want to date or learn to be with women badly enough; his focus is still on building his career, not learning to attract women.

In fact, his desire, as it was during college, remains in climbing his career and making lots of money – a big factor in his choice of city – while he merely has an interest in learning about women and dating. I told him nothing would happen for him until he actually held a real desire to be with a woman; for now, a sufficient desire doesn’t exist in him. I told him he’s waiting for a “perfect moment” that will never actually arrive.

What he actually needs to do to make any progress is to get the ball rolling, but his desire to grow career-wise suffocates that process.

I wanted to break down why things were the way they were for him, and thus came about the topic of this article. It’s a little abstract but very useful in deducing people’s intentions.

One of the great life lessons I am getting ever more acquainted with is that what people say they want or like, and what they actually, truly want – and what they actually do – are often very different things. This is what we’re going to talk about today: why these inconsistencies exist and how they show up.