Confidence

Last weekend I spoke at a gathering of the San Diego pickup community. One of the things I skirted over briefly, due to time constraints, but that guys asked me to spend a little more time on and seemed very interested in hearing about, was on disqualifying yourself as a boyfriend.

Even before I dove into actively learning how to improve myself with women, I knew that nice guys finished last. I mean, it’s basically a cliché at this point, right? Everyone knows it. Poor nice guys.

I was just going through a bunch of old text messages, when I found one from a girl I'd met online when I was in a different city on travel for a week and I'd posted a personals ad on Craig's List. She was one of the women who'd responded. She was borderline cute -- not a girl you'd date, but a girl you could have a quick fling with, and I got the impression that was what she wanted too. Well, okay -- I'm out of town, no plans to be back any time soon, so, yeah. I was hands down higher on the looks scale than she was, though.

Ever fumble it up with a beautiful girl? You set one eye on her and instantly were dumbstruck, or thunderstruck – or hey, you gave it a shot and just plain struck out? It’s unbelievably common. Most men are unsure how to act around a girl they consider to be really, really valuable.

Right off the bat, there are two problems there: the first is that the guy is unsure how to act. If you’ve been reading our articles here, you should have a good idea of how to act, for sure; but we’ll do a quick refresher here for convenience’s sake.

Here's a surprisingly common problem that men run into with women: showing TOO much value.

Wait, how can that be a bad thing? The more value you have, the more attractive you are -- right?

Well, yes, to an extent that's true. However, the art of communicating value has a deeper, more subtle level that most men (even the majority of men who spend years learning how best to navigate the social arena) never reach.

When I was in high school, I focused really hard on being very still and moving slowly. I thought it made me seem more dominant and powerful, so I put a lot of energy into mastering it.

Nowadays, paying more attention when I'm out and hanging with girls, I'm realizing this is a big thing, nonverbally. Women are very attuned to how still you are. Being still radiates power.

This is for reasonably experienced guys. Newer guys will struggle with making this effective, I believe – it might even backfire. But for guys who are reasonably adept with women – if girls are easily attracted to you, if you’re good at getting them to follow your lead, if you have sex with different girls on a somewhat regular basis – this is something you want to read.

Referencing scientific research here, but I’m not one to be politically correct anyway, sooo… let’s talk about objectifying women.

Had a cool discussion tonight with a buddy of mine about some cats who are fearless at closing, and close well and often. Same-Night Lays (SNLs) from clubs, bars, no problemo, on a consistent basis.

Sure, SNLs happen, but how many guys have them happen consistently? I know just a handful of dudes who have consistency in that regard.

What I've noticed in these guys, and myself when I'm successful usually, is that closing consists of two parts:

1. Intention
2. Fearlessness

I have long believed, based on my own experiences in my most primal state and what I have seen in some truly talented others, that the best and most prolific lovers in the world - the most skilled naturals and the most successful seducers - have a different way of seeing women than most men, and that that difference is one of the biggest keys to their consistent and impressive results.

Obviously, right? But I want to focus on one specific KIND of different way of seeing women - the sexual way.

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