Opening

Your initial approach: how you first start talking to that girl you really like.

Playful/Nonverbal Openers for Meeting New Girls


playful nonverbal openerWe had a request recently to do a few more articles on approaching and opening. There’s not really too much more I can say on opening beyond what we’ve already got on here – if you’re in need of a refresher, articles on opening include the below:

... however, one we haven’t covered much in-depth yet is the playful/nonverbal opener.

What’s playful/nonverbal? It’s essentially using body language and touch to open women in a playful, teasing, flirty way – often one that eschews any form of verbal opening altogether.

When you just want to have fun, or you’re feeling lower energy, or especially playful, or you find yourself in a bar or nightclub where the music volume is cranked so high that speech is inaudible, playful/nonverbal can be the ideal way to run your opens.

Getting Laid with Hot Girls Wherever You Are: 7 Tips


Men are nuanced beings in many ways, but there are also some very certain ways in which men are actually quite simple. And there are a few things about all men that I know to be true:

  1. Men like hot girls (whatever “hot” means to them and assuming that they’re straight)

  2. Men like getting laid (no further qualification needed here)

  3. Men (straight men, anyway) like getting laid with hot girls

getting laid

And yet, the unfortunate truth is that so few men are able to make it to step three. Some guys get laid with massive infrequency and with mediocre looking girls. Some guys are unable to bring hot girls into their lives, and if they do, are only able to do so playing the role of orbiter or solid friend zone friend. Some guys are able to sleep with a hot girl by fluke or once in a blue moon.

And then there are the few. The few men who are able to get laid with a high amount of consistency – regardless of location – with the most beautiful of women. They don’t do so all the time, but definitely often enough to keep the good times rolling. And even when they come short, they have enough core confidence to not even care anyway.

So today I want to talk to you about how to become one of the few.

How to Use Situationally Relevant Openers with Women


“I wonder if that mural is trying to tell us something,” you say to the woman nearby to you while waiting for the train, and she looks at the painting – an image of a thief being beaten by a woman with a handbag – and laughs.

“I think it’s saying, ‘Don’t rob people,’” she responds.

“Good advice,” you say. “Where you headed?”

situational opener

Situationally relevant openers are versatile, simply because they are among the most innocuous openers out there, which makes them perfect for ambiguous situations where you don’t want to convey your interest too strongly. They’re simple enough to get down – just talk about something interesting or relevant in the environment – but there’s some nuance to them, and if you learn it, you have yet another powerful tool in your toolbox for starting conversations with pretty new girls.

The Parting Shot


Something I see guys doing that always makes me want to hold up my hands and go, “Wait! Too extreme!” is getting miffed and walking away from women without giving them a properly put-together parting shot.

I was guilty of it for a long time, and when you’re still being emotionally affected by the women you’re meeting (i.e., before it’s become more or less pure process with little emotional involvement), it’s pretty easy to fall into this trap.

That is, the trap of realizing that things aren’t going your way with a given girl, getting upset, and storming off out of the interaction with a spiteful “Huh. She’ll realize what she’s lost when I’m gone!” attitude.

parting shot

Ever do this? I bet you have, and if you’re like most men I bet you sometimes still do.

Thing is, how often do those girls you abruptly cut contact with like this ever get back in touch with you and turn things around? Never, right? Occasionally they may reconnect with you, but ever notice how they treat you rather patronizingly in those cases? They know they’ve gotten to you.

At best, all you ever get out of ending things with girls this way is a psychic victory... you get to think to yourself that you “won” because you walked off and left her hanging.

But you didn’t win, not really. You didn’t get the girl.

There is a way you can though – not all the time, but a whole lot more often than you will with the “get irked and storm off” approach, in any event.

I call it “the parting shot.”

Where to Find Women That Are Single in Any Town


You arrive in a new town. Maybe you move into your new place, maybe you start to explore the city’s attractions, maybe you check outsome restaurants.

But wherever you go, you can’t seem to get away from that one dominating thought. No matter what you do, your mind keeps coming back to it: finding attractive, single women.

women that are single

It can be somewhat intimidating to go out and find single women in a new town, or even an old one. But in reality… it’s really quite easy. And today I’m going to outline exactly where to find these not-so-elusive single women, and how these places can be applied to pretty much any city.

Shotgun Opening and Reopening Women Later in the Night


Today I want to talk about two different but related kinds of opening:

  • Shotgun opening, and
  • Reopening

You'll mostly use these with women in social nighttime venues (bars and clubs, parties, networking events), but they're practical by day as well, in the right places (charity events or rallies, beach parties, barbecues and cookouts).

Shotgun opening coupled with reopening is an effective one-two punch for talking to lots of girls while not getting overly bogged down in go-nowhere conversations with women who are only interested in you socially, rather than romantically. This is how you work the crowd and build a foundation in social events that you build on later into the evening.

shotgun opening and reopening

Done right, you'll frequently find yourself with a bunch of women who already know you and are comfortable with you and who may even be actively chasing you later into the night, when their walls are up to other men just beginning to approach them fueled by liquid courage (that is, alcohol), who will be standing around wondering how you're getting such warm receptions with all these gals while they face one cold shoulder after another.

Shotgun opening + reopening is how.

Things That Show Women You’re Chasing Them (That’s Bad!)


signs you're chasingIn July's article on granting social status, I mentioned a delicate social situation as an example of a scenario where you'd unfortunately have to deal with an interruption by throwing someone under the bus. A reader asked a clarifying question, wondering if it wasn't possible to deal with that interruption more gracefully toward the interloper:

In the example from the networking event, wouldn't a socially savvy person tell the nerdy guy something like "We were in the middle of a conversation here, is it OK if I get back to you later?" as if to give the guy an out?

Would you in retrospect deal with the incident more like this, or if not, why? While the guy was rude to intrude the way he did, isn't it better to not be rude back?

My response was that, while normally you DO want to respond gracefully here, due to the specifics of this case, because of what's communicated to this new woman you've just met by you explicitly telling someone else you prioritize your just-commenced conversation with her over the one he has just commenced with you (as you would in the graceful way of letting this other individual down), you must take the haughtier tack here, unfortunately, and throw our socially awkward friend to the wolves for stepping between you and this girl and butting into your conversation.

And just what is that bad thing communicated by you telling him explicitly that you're prioritizing your conversation with her over your conversation with him that forces your hand here? Why has he left you with no choice but to dismantle him socially, rather than let him down nicely?

What's communicated to the girl in the explicit case, where she hears you tell him, "I'm in the middle of a conversation with her, please excuse me," is that you're chasing her... that's what.

Why that's communicated, and the other signs you can give off that indicate you're chasing women, is what we'll talk about here.

How to Spot a Girl Looking for Men


girl looking for menImagine yourself walking down a crowded street, teeming with people about you on every side. Or, making your way through a jam-packed bar, or a subway station crammed with people.

Somewhere in that street, bar, or station there is a girl who would love nothing more than to meet you... you, or some other attractive, savvy man who isn't going to hem and haw, but who, rather, is going to take her by the hand and lead her gallantly off on an electric, romantic, and titillating adventure.

How do you spot a girl looking for men like this?

As you're doubtless conscious of, women give off a number subtle signals that they are receptive to meeting new men - and sometimes to your advances in particular.

However, most men are terrible at reading these signals... and most women go home frustrated, empty-handed, and bothered about life's unreliability in providing men who can recognize what they want and give it to them.

But if you knew how to read these signs... if you could pick a woman out of a crowd, point to her, and easily say to yourself, "That girl wants to meet a man right now," you would have a super power few men possess, and one that many women wished men possessed.

That super power, as it were, is within your reach.

9 Terrible Excuses Men Use to Avoid Meeting Great Women


avoid meeting womenEver see a really beautiful woman that you’d love to meet, walking down the sidewalk… she looks like your ideal, and maybe you even imagine how well the two of you would probably hit it off together, and the laughter and smiles and romance and adventures you might share in an unwritten future… and then you just let her walk by, past you without a word, off into the sunset and into being no more than a memory to you, never to know what might have been?

There is an old adage in the seduction community that goes, “It’s better to be rejected than live with regret.”

Yet so many men invent what they might not even identify as excuses for saving their feelings and remaining in a state of inaction… and fear. Today I’m going to put a magnifying glass on these weak excuses and why you should throw them out the window to make substantial changes in your life.

Get Introduced to Girls and Play the Game on 'Easy Mode'


Various readers have asked variations on the following questions on this site before, and it's the question I'd like to address today:

If you want girls chasing you, how do you open? Isn't the very act of walking up to a girl and starting a conversation with her chasing itself?

The answer to that last question is "yes", you are chasing women at the outset of your interactions with them, at least a little bit, although if you know what you're doing, much of the time you can mollify the effects of this early chasing by coming in very smooth and somewhat aloof, and quickly changing the dynamic so that the girl herself is soon chasing you (which is a much more pleasant, exciting, and productive dynamic for both you and her than the alternative is).

However, there is one way to meet new women in which you can start out in the "chased" position, provided you are out with one or more friends who either know the women you want to meet already, or have a good handle on opening and being received well: that is, to get introduced.

get introduced

I've long made use of getting introduced to women both to my own advantage (to have girls falling into my lap) as well as to help out my friends or, sometimes, students, back when I used to train in-field (to throw girls into the friend's or student's lap).

This is one of those things that I rarely hear anyone talk about, and I'm not sure why, because it's like pick up on "easy mode."

And if you're not taking advantage of introductions... well, let's have a look at what you've been missing out on.

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