Opening

Your initial approach: how you first start talking to that girl you really like.

6 Basic Steps Every Guy Who Wants to Pick Up Women Must Know


pickup basics

Last time, we discussed how one should proceed to learn the art of seduction; how I would do things if I were a total beginner again. Today we will discuss the things I would recommend you to focus on if you are new – these are the things I would work on if I had to do the learning process all over again.

There is loads of information on this website and it can be very confusing to many newer readers to actually figure out what should be their priorities. I will list what I consider basics – or foundations – in this post. I will briefly explain the different elements, and will also provide links to more in depth articles throughout.

Now what will be discussed in this article are BASICS, but that doesn’t mean the material provided here is “beginner material”, quite the contrary, this article covers things that:

  • Are the foundation to most other (more advanced) material out there – without many of the concepts covered in this article, pulling off more fancy stuff will not work well unless you have the foundations in check

  • Many of the concepts in this article will be enough to get you laid.

  • The concepts covered are things that most seducers (even advanced seducers) will have to apply in most situations. I will not go as far as to say the concepts apply to every scenario, but not far from it.

Now, this post will not cover elements such as style (and grooming), body language, and basic attractive attitudes. Although it is recommended to have those things in check for best results, this post will focus on “outer game” – i.e., techniques and practical elements of seduction. Again, this is NOT an in depth post about each of the concepts, just a list with some quick info.

The six basics we will cover are:

  1. Opening

  2. Hooking in

  3. Isolation

  4. Escalation

  5. Extraction

  6. Persistence

Let us begin with an obvious key element one should focus on.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Approach Lots of Girls (Without Spam Approaching)


One of the easiest ways to develop skill with women is cold approach, and one of the greatest progress accelerators when you go out is to talk to lots of girls.

spam approach

There’s a problem with talking to lots of girls, however, and the problem is that in many guys this quickly devolves into ‘spam approaching’.

Spam sucks, and it hardly works. The good email programs are effective at keeping most spam email in your spam box. On websites, the good spam filters keep most of it out of the comments sections, but some still slips through (we probably delete about 50 spam comments every day here). Despite the filtering, deleting, and quarantining, there’s still a market for it, because it still works... sometimes.

However, the volume has to be high, and the margins are slim.

This is not a practical approach to use for meeting girls.

Nevertheless, sometimes men can fall into ‘spam approaching’ to meet their volume quotas (or simply because it’s the one thing they know to do).

There is a better way, however.

Tactics Tuesdays: The Warm-Up Approach


In straightforward parlance, a ‘warm-up approach’ is an approach you make to get your social gears lubricated for a day or night meeting new women.

The warm-up approach is a simple concept to get one’s head around, but a lot of men still don’t use it. It’s one of the best tools out there though for beating approach anxiety and upping the consistency of your outings.

Want an easy way to defeat your fear of talking to strange women and work up the nerve to go say hi? Warm-up approach.

warm up approach

How about a simple way to make your days and nights out go from a range of “sometimes they’re great” to “sometimes I don’t talk to anybody at all”, to, instead, a much more consistent “they’re almost always pretty good”? Warm-up approach.

Or, a really easy way to build social momentum early on in the night at bars, lounges, nightclubs, and parties, while making early approaches you can then capitalize on later by reopening women you met before or leveraging the preselection and social proof you built earlier to meet new girls? Warm-up approach.

The warm-up approach is a terrifically handy device for nabbing all these benefits and a bunch more... and all you’ve got to do to do so is start using it.

The 4 Stages of Street Cold Approach


This is an article about the journey you will experience as you proceed from a man who never walks up to strange women to introduce himself and flirt, to a man who does so all the time, and reaps the rewards, both in terms of women and in terms of how he thinks about women.

If you have read my two previous articles on this website (here’s one and here’s two), you might have noticed that there is a word that I mention frequently (directly or indirectly): and the word is cold approach. In my case, the preference is for street cold approach, though cold approach of any kind is the key.

street cold approach

Cold approach is at the heart of my game; in fact, it is my entire game. When I say it is my “entire” game, I do not only refer to my outer game, but to my inner game as well.

The power of cold approach is so big that I cannot put limits on it. It contains a transformative power that has the ability to change your relationship with women in a dramatic way, on all levels. There is a lot of talking about “inner game”. Well, despite being the cause of your actions, your mindset will also follow the progress you make in cold approach.

Now, let’s make an important clarification: everything is mind and everything comes from the mind. As a consequence, outer game is really a reflection of your inner game. It all starts with a decision, and the decision will happen in your mind. You’ll decide that you are entitled to hot girls, so you’ll go out and talk to them, and then through consistent action you’ll start seeing evidence of your own belief.

Therefore, action is not the cause, the cause is your decision. Action simply follows your decision, and that’s why inner game always comes before outer game. And yet, action is the only way to play this game. Action is born from your inner game, and yet it is the only way to change, improve, sharpen, and expand your inner game. That’s the paradox.

Tactics Tuesdays: Attention Grabs (to Elicit Approach Invitations)


Here’s an oldie but a goodie from the bygone days of Fast Seduction: Jay’s (Formhandle’s) pre-approach invitation male approach invitation, which used the (rather exhausting) acronym ‘pAImAI’.

It’s a complicated-sounding name for a simple technique: behave in an attention-grabbing way that entices women to send you approach invitations.

pre-approach invitation male approach invitation

If you do nightlife often, you’ll likely have started doing this one on your own already.

If you don’t, and you want to make your opening easier, you’ll probably find it useful.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Pick Up Girls at the Airport


pick up a girl in the airportA month or so back, below my article “Tactics Tuesdays: Hugs, Handclasps, and Arm-on-Shoulders”, a commenter named Magenta asked about how to pick up girls at the airport:

Hi Chase,

Can you do an article on Aiport game? Such as how do I approach/connect with women who are traveling to/from, waiting at the airport lounge, waiting in line for security checks, etc....type of conversation to have and figuring out logistics of what is possible/not possible.

Thanks!!

I’m a pretty big fan of any kind of transit game, as I’ve talked about before in “Meeting Women on Buses, Trains, and Airplanes.” Transit has a lot of nice things going for it, including:

  • She’s usually going to be by herself
  • She’s in an ‘active’ or ‘alert’ mood because she’s waiting for her conveyance
  • However, she’s also sitting there with nothing to do while she waits
  • And, you have an instant social context, so speaking is low pressure

Airports offer the further plusses that she’s on a big adventure, so likely to feel excited and perked up (unless this is yet another business trip she’s made 1,000 times), and grant you an instant value boost – if you’re traveling, whether for work or pleasure, she assumes you have money and are likely somewhat ‘important’. You’re also more likely to lead an interesting life. And, you get an instant commonality – you’re both travelers, something that immediately separates you both from ‘regular people’ (you and her, against the world).

In this article, I’ll talk about my approach to picking up girls in airports: preparation, execution, logistics, and whether to grab numbers or try for something then and there.

29 Things that Make a Woman Resist or Rebuff You


woman resist youIn my article “Why Leadership is so Key to Seducing Women”, a reader asks the about what the causes are of women resisting or rebuffing you:

Howdy Chase, I would personally like to thank you for your writing. Truly inspiring and life-changing for me.

Your leadership advice has reminded me of your “Tell if her walls are up” article and its pertaining point of avoiding red flags that provoke women’s walls. However, I am clueless what triggers women’s walls. Would you mind elaborating on those landmines? Best regards!

The article he’s referring to, about women’s walls, is this one:

Tell If a Girl Likes You: Are Her Walls Up Or Down?

So what does raise a woman’s walls in the first place?

Well, we can break them down into three (3) categories:

  1. Environmental triggers (stuff not related to you or her)
  2. Her default personality (i.e., it’s her problem)
  3. Things you are doing (i.e., it’s your problem)

Below, I’ll talk about each... plus the best ways for dealing with each.

Why You Ought to Reengage Women You’ve Met Earlier


Tell me if this sounds like you. You see a girl at a bar, you approach her, it goes okay, but you don’t have enough social momentum to get her to come home with you.

After a while you bow out. You proceed to meander around the bar for a couple hours, avoiding her and her friends like a social disease. Finally, after you talk to every girl in the club you leave alone, wondering what went wrong. What you did wrong is you didn’t re-engage.

reengage

The re-engage is a powerful weapon, because it changes your mindset. It changes your mind from needing everything to happen right then, to trusting that if it doesn’t happen now it will happen later.

It will allow you to go up to girls with zero expectations, and help you have a lot more fun. It will allow you to turn the whole club into your personal party. The re-engage can be used in a variety of ways. The wisdom of the re-engage works in many circumstances, from day game at a coffee shop to getting a friend with benefits back in your life.

Falling in Love, Part II: Finding Love at First Sight


This is Part II of a 2-part series on reaching the point where you feel comfortable feeling emotion for women. You can read Part I, on ending your own fear of romance, here.

In this article, we’ll discuss how to experience love at first sight... regularly.

love at first sight

How can you train yourself to spot girls who are perfect for you, feel that connection for them, and then, ideally, act on it?

There are three (3) prerequisites for you to do this:

  1. You must live in a decent-sized city (say, population over 500,000)
  2. You must have experienced love at first sight before
  3. You must be at least a little excited by beautiful women

It might still be (probably is) possible to pull this off if you’re missing one of the requirements, but you’ll face a bit of an uphill battle getting there.

For best results, you’ll want all three.

How Naturals Meet Girls and Get Laid


One of the big mysteries for a lot of guys who are new to pickup is just how, exactly, men who are ‘naturals’ with women meet enough women to have the partner volume they do.

naturals get laid

If you’ve ever had a talented natural friend, you’ll notice it seems like he never does a cold approach, and spends most of his time just hanging around and socializing, and yet, somehow, unless you’re doing huge volumes of cold approaches yourself, he just runs laps around you lay-count-wise.

You stop by to grab him for lunch and he’s walking yet another girl out of his place, hair disheveled and a wistful look in her eye.

Where do guys who are genuine naturals with women meet all the girls they sleep with?

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