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Your initial approach: how you first start talking to that girl you really like.

Tactics Tuesdays: Pre-Approach Screening

Chase Amante's picture
pre-approach screeningWhich girls to approach? Before you walk up, screen the girl & situation. You can learn a lot in advance… including whether she’s worth going up to or not.

One of the reasons guys psyche themselves out so much with approaching is trying to figure out in advance how an approach is going to go.

Well, you’re not going to know in advance how an approach is going to go. But you can try to form a rough general idea about what you’re signing up for before you approach a girl, to ready your game (and perhaps steel your resolve).

This is the ‘pre-approach screening’ you do: before you even walk up to a girl, you try to form a measure of who she is, what she’s about, what she’s likely to respond to, and what kind of reaction you can expect to your approach.

Every guy does this automatically to some extent. However, less experienced men are a lot vaguer in their pre-approach screening and are much less adept at reading women accurately.

So let’s arm you with a few simple tools you can use to get a measure of a girl before you make the approach. This will help you decide how to approach her… and even if she’s someone worth approaching in the first place.

Chase's 14 Basic Approaching Rules for Pickup Newbies

Chase Amante's picture
man feeling anxious about approaching woman on the streetWhen you’re new to approaching women, it can be tough to know which girls to meet. Use these 14 basic approaching rules to know when to go in and what to do.

The other day I wrote an article with a few rules on how to start doing day game.

It was clear from the reactions that there are newer guys who struggle with some of the most basic rules around approaching. I haven’t really gone into a lot of these before because:

  • I just figured these rules out naturally as I approached and I find guys who are doing the fieldwork tend to figure them out naturally too, and

  • These rules can be bent or broken as you get more experienced, so why write a list of rules that are only worth sticking to for new guys? I don’t want to give guys more rules that become constraints later on

But it occurs to me now that guys who are pretty new maybe want some constraints to better focus their approaching to get more from it coming out of the gates.

In the past I’ve talked a fair bit about having an overall process for approaching, such as in my article on how to approach a girl… but I haven’t really talked about some of the most basic rules of beginner-level approach targeting.

So I’ve conjured up the most basic approaching rules I could… and I’ve assembled together a list of 14 basic approaching maxims I recommend pickup newbies to follow.

How to Start Doing Day Game & Meet Girls by Day

Chase Amante's picture
TEXTNew to day game? It may seem scary to begin. All those girls rushing around during day… And no natural, unawkward way to meet them! Fortunately, it’s easier to begin than it seems…

We’re just about to rerelease our killer day game course “Meet Girls Everywhere” (or MGE), with expert day game coach Hector Castillo. MGE’s an awesome training course you’re sure to love if you’re at all interested in meeting girls by day.

Today I figured I’d talk a little about first starting day game, because it’s one of the common hurdles guys new to day game face: “How do I begin doing day game?”

Going to parties or nightlife is one thing. You’ll have anxiety around approaching there, but pound back a few brewskis or get your wingman to cheer you on or pull you into one of his sets and before you know it you’re talking to girls.

Day game is different. There’s no social atmosphere there. Women aren’t standing around waiting for an approach. Many of them are busy, many are distracted, and few are expecting to talk to someone. It can feel ‘wrong’ striking up a conversation with a stranger… isn’t doing so intrusive? Aren’t you supposed to not talk to strangers? You’re supposed to go to special walled environments like bars to do that, not outside in the open air!

It's a little silly when you think about it, because for millions of years of hominid evolution, we sure didn’t have rules of “you cannot talk to women outside of walled edifices serving fermented hops.” For one, we didn’t have walls… For another, we also did not have barrels of fermented anything, let alone ice cubes and little umbrellas to stick in them.

Getting started with day game is thus a bit like becoming an evolutionary throwback… One leaves aside the polite rules and unspoken strictures of modern society, and becomes a little bit of a caveman roaming the streets 10,000 years into the future.

Negative Social Proof: 9 Anti-Social Signals NOT to Send

Chase Amante's picture
woman rejecting a man at a bar, giving him negative social proofWhen you go out, look lonely, and pile up obvious rejections, people notice, especially in social places. What can you do to avoid this ‘negative social proof’ while out?

You’re likely familiar with the concept of ‘social proof’.

Social proof is the principle whereby people like, trust, and feel more comfortable with people and choices that are already approved (proofed) by others (social).

Social proof is a useful advantage to have. While the concept can seem a little abstract, its real world results can be vast. Good social proof can lead to:

  • Much warmer receptions from those you approach

  • More ‘slack’ cut for you in your interactions

As good as social proof can be, it’s a double-edged sword, yet its other edge is little discussed: the woman-repulsing bane of negative social proof.

Tactics Tuesdays: Warming Up Quick When Approached

Chase Amante's picture
woman with cocktail at barWhat happens when a girl starts talking to you but you aren’t ready to talk? There must be a way to NOT blow this… well there is: with 3-step “chitchat jujutsu.”

You’ve probably had this happen:

You went out somewhere, just in your head, not in much of a social mood.

Some girl then appeared out of nowhere, trying to get your attention, smiling, tapping you, telling you, “Hey!”

And you, stuck in your head, responded with a stiff, stilted, “Oh, hey. What’s going on?”

She said, “Not much! How about you?”

You stumbled through a few more awkward phrases. You could tell she liked you and wanted to see if she could get something going with you, but you were just too out of it.

Then the moment passed. She realized you weren’t going to do much of anything. So she left.

Damn, another layup missed, you think.

There must be a way to snap yourself to attention and shift into gear when unexpected “gimmes” like this fall into your lap – right?

NEW VIDEO: Picking Up Girls in Your Day-to-Day Life, Part 7

Chase Amante's picture

The seventh and final installment in my GirlsChase.TV video series “Picking Up Girls in Your Day-to-Day Life” is here.

In this (free) video I arm you with eight (8) great tips to bolster your results as you use the daily-life pickup tips we covered in the other videos in the series.

In the video, you’ll discover:

  • How ACTIVE (or not) you have to be to pull this type of lifestyle off. Hint: you don’t have to be a “super extrovert” to make daily life pickup a reality

  • What to do to keep your day-to-day life picking up even when you’re busy (or if you’re someone who simply doesn’t like socializing a lot)

  • An important “activities” tip that lets you avoid burn out. Follow this tip to keep your daily life picking up fun & easy!

  • The “burning the candle at both ends” problem – I ran into this while “integrating” and wish I knew then the advice I have for you here…

  • Why it’s so key you actually LIKE the people you’re building your lifestyle with (you can get into “volume” lifestyle building, but the liking consideration is very important)

  • Doing your socializing in “bursts” rather than always being the social guy all the time – how to do this (without losing momentum) and who this “uneven” style is suited for

  • One thing to keep an eye out for WHILE doing your pickup and socializing… many guys overlook this, but it gives the guys who don’t a great extra “edge” and benefit!

  • A final lesson on building an integrated pickup/daily lifestyle that suits YOU, not one that is completely carbon-copied from me or someone else

This final video is a FREE installment in the series, which you can watch even if you’re not a GirlsChase.TV Premium subscriber.

Of course, you’ll still need a subscription to watch the really meaty Parts 3-6 in the series… but if you don’t have one yet you can watch this video + Parts 1 & 2.

Here’s my video on daily life pickup bonus tips & tidbits:

Picking Up Girls at Night Is Different from Day, Pt. 1: Vibe, Setting, & Energy

Alek Rolstad's picture
daytime pickup vs. nighttime pickupKnowing how to pick up girls by day doesn’t always translate to picking them up well at night – and vice versa. In this series we examine the differences. Today: setting, energy, & vibe.

Night game is not day game at night time. Many men seem to struggle with night game lately, especially since night game has gone a bit out of fashion. I hear about these issues when I read night game reports or talk to guys on the forums, in the skilledseducer.com chat, and even with my students.

We’ve seen an increase in popularity of day game, with more and more men focusing on this form. Day gamers often assume that their day game knowledge will apply in night game. Obviously, some theories and techniques are relevant in both night and day game, and of course, being a good day gamer will help you in night game and vice versa. But there are major differences, and you need to be aware of them to succeed in day and night game.

And that’s what we will cover today: the major differences between night and day game, and more importantly, how night game is NOT day game at night time.

This is part one of a two-part series. Part one focuses on the major differences with calibrating to the vibe, environment, and setting. Next week’s article will focus on strategic choices that differ between night and day game.

NEW VIDEO: Picking Up Girls in Your Day-to-Day Life, Part 2

Chase Amante's picture

In Part 2 of my series on Picking Up Girls in Your Day-to-Day Life, I go over the five (5) most COMMON mistakes men make trying to make daily pickups a part of their routine.

These mistakes are easy to make, but they’ll sabotage you quick if you make them, due to the “mental effect”: you do things wrong, it doesn’t work, and you soon conclude, “Well, I guess it just can’t work for me,” and give up.

Or – perhaps worse still – you just keep doing it wrong, and keep not getting good results from it at all, sucking up time you could’ve used to meet heaps of desirable women instead.

In this video I cover:

  • The mistake of not changing your habits… plus why this is so detrimental for pickup-daily life integration, and WHAT habits you need to change to integrate

  • Lacking a NATURAL way to interact with lots of people (i.e., having a large “social net”, like we talk about in Part 5), limiting their abilities to meet others

  • The problem of “over-pickiness.” Guys with the fewest women in their lives tend to be the pickiest daters… but this pickiness doesn’t help you pick better; over-picky guys often don’t date anyone at all!

  • Too-passive behavior when it comes to proposing things, getting contact info, or following up (and exactly why this condemns your day-to-day pickup efforts)

  • Hoping (or expecting) to “magically run into” women like in the movies… yet an integrated lifestyle that reliably funnels you women requires FORESIGHT to construct!

Watch it here:

Meeting Women in Noisy Nightlife Venues, Part 1: Avoiding Noise

Alek Rolstad's picture
people partying in a crowded nightclubHow do you meet women in noisy venues? Step 1: avoid the noisiest venues, if at all possible. Step 2: if not possible, look for islands of (relative) quiet within them.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Today we will discuss night game.

One of the most common issues in night game is the noise level. Bars and especially clubs can be noisy. For this reason, many tend to favor other ways of meeting women, such as day game.

Those who prefer night game often ask me how to deal with the noise. Most asking me are beginners and are frustrated that they cannot run their game as they want because noise hinders them. More experienced seducers know how to handle the noise and likely use the tricks and advice I will share with you next. Yet they also wonder about how they can tackle this issue better and find more useful ways to navigate the noise level.

I plan to split this guide into two parts. Today we will go over how to avoid the noise as much as possible. Next week I will share tips on handling the problem head-on. Combining these two aspects will result in fewer problems meeting and seducing girls in a loud environment. So I consider both articles to be equally important.

You may think that all you need are a few tools to deal with noise by using your voice, tonality, and pace differently. Even though this will help, it only addresses part of the problem. Because there is no way to remove the noise completely, we need to apply several tools to lessen the problem.

This post is for players of all levels, beginners and masters alike.

NEW VIDEO: Picking Up Girls in Your Day-to-Day Life, Part 1

Chase Amante's picture

For many years guys have asked me, “How do I integrate meeting women into my day-to-day life?”

It’s one of the biggest head-scratchers for guys who’ve been into seduction for a while. Once you’re past that initial hump of basics, where you’re going out often and getting the skill set down, you kind of want to start having approaching women be more a normal part of your life (rather than something you go out expressly to do).

How do you make that transition though? How do you reach the point where you are “on” and able to approach women as you see them throughout the day (and not have it be weird)?

I have at long last gotten around to answering this question – and I did it in customary deep, comprehensive, yet still concrete and tactical form.

Allow me to introduce you to “Picking Up Girls in Your Day-to-Day Life,” a seven-part video series exclusively on GirlsChase.TV.

Part 1, just released today, is here: