Opening | Girls Chase

Opening

Your initial approach: how you first start talking to that girl you really like.

What Energy to Approach Girls with (High or Low?)

energy approach girls
The energy you approach a new girl with can make the difference between acceptance and rejection. So should you go in high energy or low?

Hey, guys. Today we will discuss more practical stuff that can have a tremendous effect on your game and your overall interactions with women. Many guys believe that the difference between a good seducer and a bad one is some magical technique – well, usually it is not. The devil is in the details – and the small subtleties.

That is what this post (and last week’s post about using pauses) will help you with. This post focuses more on calibration. Good seducers are smooth and tight, intermediates are less so, and beginners, well, you get the idea.

So this post is about calibration, focusing on the nature and level of “high energy” you should employ when approaching girls. This is a topic with a lot of misleading – and often contradictory – information. Some claim you have to be high energy; others claim low energy is better. They are both right and wrong at the same time – it depends on the context. Either way, this post will cover the pros and cons of each approach and give you guidelines on how to make the tightest approaches.

The following 3 factors build the foundation for calibrating your energy level for an approach:

  • The social setting

  • The girl(s)

  • The phase of the interaction

Let’s begin by discussing the crucial aspects of the social setting.

Social Proof in Nightclubs: Jumps, Momentum, and Girl Circles

social proof
Social proof is an exceptional tool to use in nightclubs, but it can be tricky. With jumps, momentum, and girl circles, you’ll woo women in no time.

After discussing some recent changes in night game over the last couple weeks (how nightlife has changed: part 1, part 2), I have decided to make another night game post. I am trying to inject some variation in my posts, providing a mix of analysis and techniques. I’ve posted a few cool routines and gambits lately, and today I will discuss more general strategies.

(And guys, do not hesitate to give me feedback and let me know what types of posts you prefer to read)

The idea of this post is to break down the idea that there is such a thing as night game. Well, yes, there is such a thing; it is all about meeting women at night, sure, but there are many VERY different night game methods and strategies you can employ to reach your goals.

Now, besides the obvious aspects, we need to consider the demographics of clubs, as in:

  • Ratio: how many men vs. women there are in the club – a larger ratio of men requires a more passive and safe approach, as more men will be hitting on the girls, which results in those girls turning up their defenses)

  • The type of people frequenting the club (the stereotype) – subcultures have different codes to which you must calibrate (think of an indie club vs. a hip hop club)

But the layout of different venues – how they’re built – allows for totally different strategies. Additionally, you can also pick up girls outside the clubs! Our dear Chase Amante has long been a fan of that!

There are many ways to approach night game, and some venues allow for certain strategies that others don’t. Some allow for multiple strategies.

Let us discuss one of the many ways you can approach the nightlife besides the typical “run in cold” and hook. Basically, that’s what I usually do; I go into a club, see a girl, try to trigger an approach invitation, and go straight for it, delivering my best game in order to hopefully get laid. Here I present a different way of doing it.

7 Reasons Why Your Approaches on Girls Don't Hook

approaches don't hook
If you approach girls but they rarely or never hook, what’s the cause? There are 7 technical reasons why women may not hook.

Whether by day or at night, sometimes you’ll approach a girl yet it just doesn’t hook. Sure, there are the girls who aren’t into you. But what about the ones who open well, and feel like it should work... yet for whatever reason you cannot make things connect?

My usual suggestion for men who have trouble getting their approaches to hook it to improve your fundamentals... things like walk, posture, fashion, eye contact, and voice. The stronger each of these are, the faster and more reliably women hook.

Nevertheless, even men with strong fundamentals can run into this “girls I approach just don’t hook” phenomenon. They approach plenty of girls. But those approaches go nowhere.

So if you feel like your approaches connect a lot less than they should, this troubleshooting article’s for you: things to tweak to make those conversations hook a whole lot better.

Below, you’ll find seven (7) technical reasons why men’s approaches often don’t work.

If you’re doing any of these wrong, you’ll want to switch it up. Fix all the issues, and you can expect a noticeable boost in the number of women you hook.

Here’s the list.

Meet More Girls: 5 Keys to a Great First Approach

meet more girls
There’s a lot to remember about meeting new girls. So what are the most important parts? Remember these 5 keys and you’re off to the races.

I hear it from so many different directions, so much advice littering the internet from the great to the terrible. I myself struggled for years with a plethora of different advice, good and bad, going day after day with seemingly no progress in the way I was approaching girls.

I felt like I was going through a haze. I struggled to see my mistakes and understand my wrongs. Women seemingly ran from me every chance they got, especially when it came down to the simple task of approaching a girl successfully.

Then, as time went on, I got better. I started seeing certain things work and others fall flat. Girls started chasing me off the open, giggling and blushing even.

In this article, I want to clear up the one topic everyone is constantly asking about. How do I approach a girl, get her attention, and get her liking me off the bat?

I have personally approached tens of thousands of women over the years, and I hope to clear up this topic for everyone once and for all. I will start with three common misconceptions. Then we are going to cover the five most important elements to a great first approach.

21 Signs She's a Psycho You Should Ghost on at the Bar

signs she's psycho
How do you know a girl is crazy, and best avoided when you meet her at the bar? Look for these 21 signs... and keep your distance!

Talking about my article “8 Red Flags She’s a Crazy Girl You Should Stay Away From”, reader SZ comments:

I read the how to tell if a chicks crazy article, but it looks like if you kind of know her already, so if it’s a same night lay or a fast lay, no way to tell.

How can you tell a chick will be a problem from the first interaction, so you know she’s crazy right off the bat? How do you tell upfront ?

Good question. How do you know right away... when you meet her on the street, in a party, or at a bar? How do you know if she’s a potential danger to you? How can you identify the psychos – so you can weed them out?

As fun and liberating as hookup culture may be, there are plenty of folks who are off their rockers – and if you go out enough, you will meet them. Psycho men you need to avoid to stay out of fights. Psycho women you need to avoid for that reason... and for many more reasons. Psycho women may:

  • Manipulate you into fighting another man – psycho chicks often like to see men battle each other for their hands

  • Stalk you and harass you after sex – if you’ve never had a female stalker, you might think, “Eh, how bad can that be?” If you have had a female stalker though, you know it’s both kinda scary (you don’t have to be a big, burly man to sneak up on someone and plunge a knife in their throat; petite women can do this too), and it cramps your style in a major way (try keeping a high quality girlfriend while some psycho chick hounds you everywhere and contacts any woman she sees interacting with you to tell her made-up things to try and scare her off)

  • Slap you with a false rape accusationbetween 45% and 55% of men accused of rape are falsely accused by women; it’s an enormous problem in the West, and nobody talks about it (or is allowed to). While the odds are good her story will fall apart under police interrogation, and you will win the case, that won’t stop you from losing $10,000 to $100,000 on attorney and court fees, getting suspended or expelled from school, getting suspended or fired from work, and losing some or most of your friends. You don’t even need to have penetrative sex to get hit with an FRA; men who’ve no more than fingered a girl get hit with these, and sometimes a guy who’s never even touched a girl will get FRA’d

  • Just generally be an un-fun time – even if she’s not psycho enough to sick some meathead on you, follow you around and scare off other girls you date, or file a false police report claiming you raped her, psycho chicks are a lot of drama and can lead to some really draining nights out. Random crying fits, accusations followed by apologies, jealousy plotlines where she makes out with other men in front of you then gets angry if you try to leave, pulling you along somewhere you don’t want to go and then ditching you when you get there... these are just a few of the things I’ve seen psycho women do in nightlife

Caveat for the people who take things completely literally at all times: I’m using the term ‘psycho’ here in the colloquial sense of the word. I’m not focused on the clinical definition of psychosis. Though you’ll encounter some of that among women who exhibit these signs too. Instead, we are talking about crazy, nutty, outré behavior from broken people.

There is no reason to tolerate psychotic behavior from a woman. Unless you’re wildly desperate. Then I guess you may not be able to help yourself. But I hope if you’re someone who’s read this site for a little while, you are not wildly desperate.

Otherwise, there are so many normal women out there, who are just as hot (usually hotter) than the psycho chicks, and will not ruin or seriously monkey up your life. You want to find these girls (the normal ones), and screen out the crazies.

To help you do so, I’ve prepared a list of 21 signs to keep your eyes peeled for when you hit the bar, the lounge, the nightclub, the party, or the street at night, to make sure you don’t end up with a girl who’ll sour you on dating.

Instantly Connect with Women You Meet via the Use of Pacing

connect with women
A true observation about a woman immediately makes her feel like you’re on her wavelength. Use these truisms to disarm and connect with her.

Hey guys, and welcome back. So after having written 3 very practical articles, sharing some more or less advanced techniques – the last post being particularly advanced – I decided to give you something that can benefit everyone, including fresher players.

That said, the technique I am about to share, although simpler, is still very powerful (things do not always have to be super hard and complex to work like a charm). I am sure many intermediate and advanced players will enjoy this post and benefit from it.

The topic of today is about pacing – pacing HER ongoing reality. Now, what does that mean? Pacing is all about displaying an understanding of how it feels to be in her shoes, in her world, in her body.

Allow me to demonstrate with an example (more examples to come).

Alek: You know… (pause) … there is… something I find extremely fascinating.

Her: And what is that?

Alek: What it must feel like to be out here, surrounded by weird, creepy men, almost to the point of losing all hope of finally finding someone (point to self) who can take you on that adventure that rocks your world.

Her: True.

Alek: And yet here you are, still hoping for that one chance in a million that you will finally get to experience those adventures you truly seek.

The previous example may be a bit advanced, I agree, but do not worry – here is a simpler example:

Alek: I do find it interesting how the mere fact that standing here with that goofy yet tasty cocktail in your hand must feel classy in a way, and that every sip of that cocktail reminds you of good times – of leisure and freedom.

Her: -What-ever-

Now, in that example, I did not assume too many things, but I used a lot truisms, such as her holding a drink, enjoying freedom and leisure (club bars are known to provide those experiences). How can she really disagree with me?

I will give you more examples in a bit, but let us break this down.

How to Meet Girls at Gay Bars, Part 5: Odds and Ends

meet girls in gay bars
The final article in the “meeting girls in gay bars” series: the best place to open, how to isolate in gay bars, the gay after party, and more.

Greetings!

Welcome to the 5th and final chapter (for now) on seduction in the gay environment. To date, I have shared this 5-part guide in addition to two other articles that indirectly cover relevant elements on this subject. If you haven’t read those articles yet, here they are.

And here are those related articles:

Just like our previous article, this one will focus on elements of the seduction process that are unique to the gay environment (things that are particularly awesome about it) that you should exploit. We’ll also discuss potential difficulties and other things to watch out for – and how to deal with them.

The focus of this post will be on the surroundings, the situation, and the context in which the seduction takes place. You’ll learn how to understand and properly manage the logistics, some of which are in fact different in this environment.

There are also some logistical “shortcuts” or “cheats” that I want to cover.

Let us get into it.

How to Meet Girls at Gay Bars, Part 3: Your Approach and Vibe

meet girls in a gay bar
In gay bars, you don’t want to be an approach machine. Instead, it’s often best to let girls come to you. Also vital here: your vibe and conversation topics.

Welcome back. This is part 3 in my series on how to meet girls in gay bars. You may read parts 1 and 2 here:

In this post, I will start getting into the whole “how to seduce in a gay club” thing, but keep in mind that this will not be a seduction guide from A to Z.

Most of the usual seduction rules still apply in gay venues. I remember the times I’ve brought skilled seducers into the gay environment, such as when Pablo Garcia visited me a few weeks back and asked me how to work these venues. I usually tell guys to do what they would normally do. Truth is, it doesn’t take much time to figure out the dynamics in these venues. You will not be seducing dudes, you will be seducing bisexual and straight women. It is not that different from what you would usually do.

It is just the environment that changes. In the case of a bar, only the crowd has changed, but you still have to deal with usual “bar vibe” related things. For instance, with clubs, you still have to deal with wildcards, noise, chaos, and all that good stuff.

Overall, things are more or less the same, with the only exception being that big chunks of the crowd will be gay.

So in this post, we will discuss the elements that are unique to the gay environment as they relate to seduction. I will cover the things you will have to keep in mind when hunting in this community.

Basically, I will cover a set of rules. In my next post, I will cover how you can work through each phase of the seduction and cover the elements that are specific to this environment.

Anyway, let us get back on point.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Handle a Bad Night at the Bar

bad night at the bar
Have a bad night at the bar and you may want to give up and go home. But it’s not over just because you’re off to a bad start.

Every time you step outside your door, you enter a world filled with different, random, unknown others. Some of those others will be delighted to meet you. Some will be indifferent to you. Some will be rude, dismissive, or flat-out hostile. And on any given outing, the proportions of each of these groups you meet will be somewhat random.

There are a variety of ways you can increase the odds you meet folks delighted to encounter you, and minimize the odds you meet folks who want nothing to do with you. Some of those ways include:

Yet, you won’t always be able to implement all these items. Sometimes you may want to check out a new venue, or you reach a preferred venue on an off night and discover the crowd is different from usual. Suddenly, you’re not tailored to the girls present and the environment is not so low competition.

And regardless the steps you take, there is always that element of randomness in the people you meet. Sometimes you’ll go out and every girl you talk to wants nothing to do with you. Other times you’ll go out and the second or third (or even the first) girl you talk to is all over you and ends up going home with you.

Each time you’ll be inclined to think “it’s you.” When the girls reject you left and right: “I must be really off my game tonight,” or, “Did I dress in a weird way or something? Am I putting out a weird vibe?” And when girls are all over you: “Damn, I’m good!”

Yet much of the time it’s pure chance. It’s often dumb (bad) luck when you get that string of girls who reject you all in a row. And more dumb (this time, good) luck when one of the first girls you talk to is the one you take home.

Today, I’m going to give you some tools to employ when you hit bad luck any given night. This post assumes you go out and talk to various (i.e., more than two or three) people with an intent to find a girl to take a number from or to take home. If this is not your style, it still might be an interesting read; in that case, read it through, file it away, and pull it out should you ever find yourself emboldened to meet enough girls to find that one you click with and can take home.

5 Effective Ways to Pick Up Girls with a Wingman

pick up girls with a wingman
Five (5) of the best ways to pick up girls with a wingman: the Two Buddies approach, the Leader-Follower approach, plus 3 more.

Six years ago I shared with you the 10 rules of great wingmanship. I covered some strategies for wingmanning there as well. But mostly stuck to dos and do nots.

However, we’ve talked about wingmanning a lot less than it deserves on Girls Chase. Going out with a wingman is fantastic for a lot of reasons:

  • It puts you in a more social mood
  • It gives you instant social proof to work with
  • A likeminded buddy will help make you more resilient
  • And a friend like this can lend you an assist (and vice versa)

One of the biggest reasons, too, is the ‘click’ advantage the two-man approach can give you. Because let’s face it, no matter how good you get, there will always be some girls you do not click with. When you’re with a wingman, you don’t have to click with every girl.

Meet a pair of girls with one girl who likes you but one who does not? It’s fine – the girl who doesn’t like you does like your friend. She’ll tolerate her friend going for you (unless she really dislikes you!), so long as your friend goes for her.

Meet a trio of girls, and one girl matches your energy, but the other two have a completely different energy? No problem – your wingman (or wingmen) matches the other girls’ energy, and gets along with them great.

Yet if you don’t use good wingman form, it’ll all be for naught. You’ll step on your buddy’s toes, he’ll step on yours, and you’ll make each other look bad instead of good. You’ll go for the wrong girls, or accidentally go for each other’s girls when you shouldn’t, or fail to support one another when support is needed.

To make sure you don’t fall prey to wingman miscues, you need strategy – you need a way you both agree on to team up to get girls. And to that end, I’ve put together five (5) of the most effective wingman strategies I’ve used or witnessed other wingman pairs use. These approaches are guaranteed to scoop girls off the pavement (or the barroom floor) and into your respective beds.

To kick off the article, we’ll start with the approach that is, to my mind, the classic wingman model: the Two Buddies approach.