Opening | Girls Chase

Opening

Your initial approach: how you first start talking to that girl you really like.

How to Meet Girls at Gay Bars, Part 3: Your Approach and Vibe

meet girls in a gay bar
In gay bars, you don’t want to be an approach machine. Instead, it’s often best to let girls come to you. Also vital here: your vibe and conversation topics.

Welcome back. This is part 3 in my series on how to meet girls in gay bars. You may read parts 1 and 2 here:

In this post, I will start getting into the whole “how to seduce in a gay club” thing, but keep in mind that this will not be a seduction guide from A to Z.

Most of the usual seduction rules still apply in gay venues. I remember the times I’ve brought skilled seducers into the gay environment, such as when Pablo Garcia visited me a few weeks back and asked me how to work these venues. I usually tell guys to do what they would normally do. Truth is, it doesn’t take much time to figure out the dynamics in these venues. You will not be seducing dudes, you will be seducing bisexual and straight women. It is not that different from what you would usually do.

It is just the environment that changes. In the case of a bar, only the crowd has changed, but you still have to deal with usual “bar vibe” related things. For instance, with clubs, you still have to deal with wildcards, noise, chaos, and all that good stuff.

Overall, things are more or less the same, with the only exception being that big chunks of the crowd will be gay.

So in this post, we will discuss the elements that are unique to the gay environment as they relate to seduction. I will cover the things you will have to keep in mind when hunting in this community.

Basically, I will cover a set of rules. In my next post, I will cover how you can work through each phase of the seduction and cover the elements that are specific to this environment.

Anyway, let us get back on point.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Handle a Bad Night at the Bar

bad night at the bar
Have a bad night at the bar and you may want to give up and go home. But it’s not over just because you’re off to a bad start.

Every time you step outside your door, you enter a world filled with different, random, unknown others. Some of those others will be delighted to meet you. Some will be indifferent to you. Some will be rude, dismissive, or flat-out hostile. And on any given outing, the proportions of each of these groups you meet will be somewhat random.

There are a variety of ways you can increase the odds you meet folks delighted to encounter you, and minimize the odds you meet folks who want nothing to do with you. Some of those ways include:

Yet, you won’t always be able to implement all these items. Sometimes you may want to check out a new venue, or you reach a preferred venue on an off night and discover the crowd is different from usual. Suddenly, you’re not tailored to the girls present and the environment is not so low competition.

And regardless the steps you take, there is always that element of randomness in the people you meet. Sometimes you’ll go out and every girl you talk to wants nothing to do with you. Other times you’ll go out and the second or third (or even the first) girl you talk to is all over you and ends up going home with you.

Each time you’ll be inclined to think “it’s you.” When the girls reject you left and right: “I must be really off my game tonight,” or, “Did I dress in a weird way or something? Am I putting out a weird vibe?” And when girls are all over you: “Damn, I’m good!”

Yet much of the time it’s pure chance. It’s often dumb (bad) luck when you get that string of girls who reject you all in a row. And more dumb (this time, good) luck when one of the first girls you talk to is the one you take home.

Today, I’m going to give you some tools to employ when you hit bad luck any given night. This post assumes you go out and talk to various (i.e., more than two or three) people with an intent to find a girl to take a number from or to take home. If this is not your style, it still might be an interesting read; in that case, read it through, file it away, and pull it out should you ever find yourself emboldened to meet enough girls to find that one you click with and can take home.

5 Effective Ways to Pick Up Girls with a Wingman

pick up girls with a wingman
Five (5) of the best ways to pick up girls with a wingman: the Two Buddies approach, the Leader-Follower approach, plus 3 more.

Six years ago I shared with you the 10 rules of great wingmanship. I covered some strategies for wingmanning there as well. But mostly stuck to dos and do nots.

However, we’ve talked about wingmanning a lot less than it deserves on Girls Chase. Going out with a wingman is fantastic for a lot of reasons:

  • It puts you in a more social mood
  • It gives you instant social proof to work with
  • A likeminded buddy will help make you more resilient
  • And a friend like this can lend you an assist (and vice versa)

One of the biggest reasons, too, is the ‘click’ advantage the two-man approach can give you. Because let’s face it, no matter how good you get, there will always be some girls you do not click with. When you’re with a wingman, you don’t have to click with every girl.

Meet a pair of girls with one girl who likes you but one who does not? It’s fine – the girl who doesn’t like you does like your friend. She’ll tolerate her friend going for you (unless she really dislikes you!), so long as your friend goes for her.

Meet a trio of girls, and one girl matches your energy, but the other two have a completely different energy? No problem – your wingman (or wingmen) matches the other girls’ energy, and gets along with them great.

Yet if you don’t use good wingman form, it’ll all be for naught. You’ll step on your buddy’s toes, he’ll step on yours, and you’ll make each other look bad instead of good. You’ll go for the wrong girls, or accidentally go for each other’s girls when you shouldn’t, or fail to support one another when support is needed.

To make sure you don’t fall prey to wingman miscues, you need strategy – you need a way you both agree on to team up to get girls. And to that end, I’ve put together five (5) of the most effective wingman strategies I’ve used or witnessed other wingman pairs use. These approaches are guaranteed to scoop girls off the pavement (or the barroom floor) and into your respective beds.

To kick off the article, we’ll start with the approach that is, to my mind, the classic wingman model: the Two Buddies approach.

How to Meet Girls at Gay Bars, Part 1: Types of Venues

meet girls at gay bars
Part 1 of the “meeting girls in gay bars” series starts off with venue selection. Namely, the 4 best types of gay bars to meet women at.

Hey, guys. As promised, here is the first post of my series on how to game in gay venues. This will be an introductory post about the gay environment and the different venues out there. I will discuss how to pick the right venues and give some insights into the dynamics of each.

I will leave the in-depth discussion about all the dos and don’ts pertaining to seduction in these venues to future posts, because I believe an introduction to the gay environment is key. So I’ll start with that.

Also, before I begin, I have to share a disclaimer that I will include in every post in this series. You will quickly understand why I am doing this. Here is it:

Disclaimer: If you happen to find an awesome gay club or discover that gay clubs are good places to get laid, please do not tell of all your bros. Truth is, I have seen many great gay venues die because of this. They are something special for a reason, and if too many straight men come over, the vibe will be ruined and the venue will cease to be what it is. I have been hesitant to share the info related to “gay game” for this reason, and I hope you understand and keep this info for yourself.

It is in your own best interest, too.

Anyway, without further ado, let us get right into it.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Do a Street Stop

street stop
There are four (4) ways to meet girls walking on the street: the side stop, the circle stop, the wave stop, and the policeman stop.

You’ve gone out for a stroll on your city streets.

The sunshine’s shining, the birds are chirping, and you’re feeling grand.

Then, you see her: Venus incarnate. A remarkably beautiful woman headed down the street, right to you. You know you have to meet her. There is a pull inside of you that insists on it.

Yet, you can think of no good way to say hi.

She’s striding along, mind on whatever it’s on, not having noticed you one bit.

How can you reach her in a natural, attractive way?

The way you do this is with something called the ‘street stop’; that is, you will quite literally stop her on the street to meet her. There are many different street stops you can use. Today, I’ll give you the four (4) most effective stops I know of. Once you have these at your disposal (and don’t shy away from using them), you’ll be able to meet those stunning girls you see on the street... rather than let them walk on by.

Why Silent Men are Sexy Men

power of silence
Your silence speaks volumes. But you don’t just need to use it to be serious; you can use it to increase sexual tension, for better communication, for humor, and more.

It’s where everything started and it is where everything will return to.

Silence is the sweetest sound in the universe. It is the language of God in purest form.

And you aren’t using it properly.

In the past, we’ve covered how to avoid saying something stupid by talking less. We’ve also covered how to use the pregnant pause. I also intend to write some pieces on concision and replacing words with non-verbals whenever possible; but for now, I simply want to talk about how and when to be quiet, and why it is so powerful.

How to Meet Girls on Cinco De Mayo

cinco de mayo
You’ll meet 5 kinds of girls out on Cinco De Mayo. Which ones should you take home – and how? Follow these 3 steps and the girl is yours.

When you hear the words “Cinco de Mayo,” what do you picture?

Is it:

Drunk girls?

Tequila?

Cheesy sombreros and guacamole?

Most guys assume that Cinco de Mayo is one of the easiest days to meet girls; however, the reality couldn’t be further from the truth.

It’s true that more women are out and willing to go home with a guy on Cinco de Mayo, but also consider that more men are going to be out and about, too. Your competition is up, and the alcohol is going to be flowing.

These aren’t exactly perfect conditions to find a high-quality woman to take home.

However, there are a few things you can do to plan a Cinco de Mayo that ends in you getting the woman you want.

So today, I’m going to show you exactly how to have the Cinco de Mayo you want.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Proceed When She Asks You Out

girl asks you out
When a girl asks you out, it should seem obvious what to do: say yes, right? Yet guys botch this one surprisingly often. Here’s how not to.

You’re in the classroom looking at your notebook, or you’re in the office leaned up against a cubicle wall. A girl you know stops by to say hello and makes a little light chitchat with you. You talk with her, it’s fun; at one point she laughs. And then all at once she tells you, “We should hang out sometime.”

“Yeah, totally,” you tell her.

“All right, I need to get back to work,” she says. “I’ll see you.”

“See you!” you tell her.

You spend the next week mulling over what to do. Should you walk up to her and ask her for her phone number? Should you go tell her about the date idea you cooked up? Should you wait for her to re-approach you and make something happen then?

The more time goes by, the more awkward it gets.

Finally, two weeks later, you bump into her again and tell her, “We should get some coffee or something.”

She says, “Yeah, just let me know.” Then drifts off.

Still, you don’t have her contact info.

The date never happens.

How should you have dealt with the situation?

Sexual Tension in Day Game vs. Night Game

sexual tension day game vs. night game
The way you use sexual tension differs depending on the time of day you meet her. If by day, one way; if by night, another.

Hey, guys!

During my daily skimming of the comment section of my posts, I stumbled upon this interesting question by a reader named Kevin:

I just re-read your superb series on sexual tension, and it left me wondering on its uses in a day game setting. I mostly do day game myself, and don't yet fully understand how one can use sexual tension there.

As someone who is good at both day and night game, would you have any pointers on the use of sexual tension in day game and how it is different from night game, and maybe even share your day game strategies?

Thanks again, Kevin

I also believe that this question needs to be answered, as I haven’t really covered how sexual tension should be used in different social contexts (generally speaking: day game vs. night game). From reading my posts on sexual tension, many might believe that those posts were dedicated to night game. They would be wrong.

However, I do see why people would believe this, since I not only shared a report from a night game scenario in which sexual tension was amplified, but many of the examples in the report seem to be taken from night game. Additionally, after my last two podcasts with Varoon, it has become clear that I am a night gamer.

The truth is, I have experience in both day game and night game. That said, I have lately been focusing more on night game, simply because I find it more exciting and I tend to take days off during the weekend. I will say I am pretty clueless when it comes to online game and social circle related stuff, as those areas have never caught my interest. I am a 100% cold approacher.

Now, the concepts covered in my sexual tension series and everything else related to displaying sexual intent that I have posted in the past, such as physical escalation, sex talk, and other sexual gambits, can be applied both to day game and night game – with some adjustments. Those adjustments are the subject of this post.

Let us get to it.

Hotter Women are Subtler (and Hook Up Less)

hot women are subtle
As a woman’s beauty increases, so too does her subtlety… while her number of sex partners falls. Do you recognize the signs beautiful women give you?

Recently I found myself in an unfamiliar part of a familiar town. Kind of on the outskirts. And something stuck out at me: the women here were, on average, less attractive than the women in the city center I usually frequent. More unattractive women, and more women who were only somewhat cute; fewer knockout stunners. But the approach invitations I received were much more blatant.

Whereas in the city center, I might sense a girl glance at me, then turn toward her and she’d already have looked away, brushing back her hair as she did... now, in the outskirts, I’d sense a girl look at me, turn toward her, and she’d keep her eyes trained right on mine. Whereas in the usual part of town, a beautiful girl might come hover somewhat near me, now cute (but not beautiful) girls would walk up and position themselves blatantly next to me. The difference was plain as a tree on a hilltop.

This is something I’ve noticed, come to think of it, on the outskirts of other familiar towns as well. The girls on the outskirts are often not quite as cute, but they are more obvious. I never expressly equated outskirts with less cute, more obvious girls before, but when I look back, it’s often been the case that a good chunk of the ‘easy venues’ I have on tap are located on the outskirts of town. These are venues where the girls you meet will be cute or pretty but not stunning, but they make up for it by being more obvious in their interest and less coy to your approach.

There are other factors likely at play on the outskirts; girls in the city center are in more of a hurry, are busier, and pay less attention to those around them, for one. They also tend to be more status conscious, which means any too-obvious signals carry more risk for them. They are also more ambitious, which means more careful screening of interested men. Girls in the outskirts are less hurried and have more time to check out and throw signals at men, and less status-risk to worry them. They’re also less interested in screening you, and more interested in whether you can provide a fun time or not.

Yet even accounting for factors like this, all other things being even, there remains a clear attractiveness-obviousness correlation; the less attractive the girl, the more obvious she makes her signals.

The less cute a girl is (or, at least, the less hot she is), the more blatant are her signals. Also, not only are more attractive women less aggressive; they’re subtler, too. The cuter a girl gets, the more coy she gets.

Which makes sense, of course... When you’re more in-demand, you can hold out for a better deal. You can play more coy. When you’re not as in-demand, you must chase down the deals yourself, and no longer have the luxury to hang back and wait for the ones you want to come to you.

But does this mean beautiful women are out of most men’s grasps?