Behind the boastful brain and flashy neocortex of humans lies something much more basic, yet not fully understood. Like all other sexual creatures, we are subject to an instinctive, animalistic sexual desire, which guides us through our day-to-day interactions with the opposite sex.
For other creatures, sex is quite simple.
One of our closest extant relatives, the Bonobo, uses sex quite frequently. They do not engage in sexual monogamy, but rather use sex in all manner of social interactions. They use sex as a greeting, for reproduction, and as a method of bond-forming between women inside a group. In short, they have sex, and they have it often.
This is a far cry from the typical human civilization. Questions of maintaining said amount of sexual activity aside, sex just doesn’t come as easily for us humans. We often place value in social status, mating with the correct people, and avoiding mating with those that would take away from our value, rather than add to it.
Even when you throw out any social status issues, sex just doesn’t come as easily for some men. Why is that?
The complexity of the thought process of sex can greatly complicate how we feel about having it. For most people out there, it’s not as simple as matching up the penis to fit in the perfectly shaped vagina; it has to mean something.
Thus, we are led to believe that we must prove something other than the desirability to have sex in order to have it. We justify that we’re having sex for reasons other than, well, just having sex.
However, taking out the physicality and emotions from sex causes us to become increasingly desensitized, forgetting that we do have a primal desire for sex.
Ignoring such sexual desires does nothing good for the human body. The truth is, we need sex, and a lack of sex takes a significant toll on our well-being. Removing our physical and emotional needs from the entire courting process makes it boring, droll, and, quite frankly, not sexual in any meaning of the word.
It’s time to reintroduce a little animal into our interactions. Not everything is social dynamics and mind games (even though those do matter); sometimes you just need to get in tune with your wild side.
Differences in the Sexes: Men and Women
It’s only natural to point out that there is a primal difference between men and women. This comes down to the sex differences in expression of the genes in our genetic codes, and those physical differences also do indeed have an impact on our primal sexual desires.
In researching this topic, I found quite an interesting study.
It concluded that men, for the most part, are simple sexual creatures. As long as they spread their seed to healthy, young, and fertile women, their sexual desires are complete.
Sounds pretty obvious to me; yeah, of course that’s what we want at the most basic sexual level. A young, fertile, and beautiful woman.
But it was the interpretation of women that had me a bit baffled. The study concluded that human females make calculated, conscious decisions about who they are going to mate with. After all, sex with the wrong man could lead to dire consequences, so a woman has to evaluate the man as a whole before having sex with him.
Yet, you’ll notice that if you spend any amount of time hanging out with women that they are very instinctual about whom they mate with. It isn’t some cold, calculated decision. Rather, she notices the behavioral cues of a dominant, prestigious man and chases him.
And that’s human physical attraction summed up for you. Each party recognizes the other as sexually desirable. Naturally, shouldn’t this automatically lead to sex?
Here’s what the study (http://public.wsu.edu/~taflinge/socsex.html) on human sexuality concludes about women:
“Women’s ability to think consciously about their sexual lives does not mean she doesn’t have instinctive desires as strong as a man’s. What it does mean is she will often subordinate that desire: she may desire a physically attractive man, but she will not actually have sex with him until he has satisfied more than physical criteria.”
I certainly believe that they are getting at something here. Women (especially young, fertile women) have a lot more on their plate than simply having sex, which can in turn lead to them doing a lot of flaking.
However, it’s certainly possible to bypass such logical cues with women. You don’t have to be Mr. Perfect to get women. Hell, it’s often the men that are viewed by society as “losers” who do the best with women, simply because they know that the logical needs are being fulfilled in her life already, and that what she really needs is a bad boy who separates himself from the pack and shows her that all that logical stuff is obsolete in the face of a strong connection.
Become the Animal
Becoming the bad boy that simply makes women want you the moment they see you is something that I’ve always aimed for.
It’s those guys who walk around, who women absolutely have their eyes on them.
He has something about him that just makes women want him, even if he has yet to pass any of her tests to satisfy more than physical criteria.
A lot of this relies on having expert fundamentals, dominant body language and voice tone, and just a strong way of carrying yourself. Being the hands down leader is a behavioral cue to women that you are a sexually desirable mate.
But, even if you look and act this way, you can still damage your interaction by partaking in incongruent frames.
Imagine, if you will, a man who is very clearly a dominant alpha male. He leads his group of friends, has pre-selection, and overall just seems like a man who would take women to bed without them questioning a thing, because he screams sexual desirability.
Then, this guy approaches a woman and starts talking about… logical stuff. When she puts up token resistance, he begins to talk to her about it; to logically figure out what the issue is, and why she is doing such a thing.
Talking about logical stuff is a major turnoff to women. Her mindset that he is simply an insanely desirable man shatters, as she begins to evaluate him on a logical level.
And whenever women ask themselves the question, “Should I have sex with him?” the answer is almost always a resounding “No”; because, as pointed out in the earlier study, she has many more criteria to consider than simple physical sexual attraction.
Therefore, it is important that she takes her time.
Now, I know that not every guy reading this is walking around looking and acting like Leonardo DiCaprio. And the great news is that you don’t need to look or act like him to get with women as long as you know how to push the right buttons and get her to tap into that physical sexual desire – and remain in such a state.
Staying in the Physical State
One of the most common questions that I get from men who have been reading this website is, “How do men get women if they don’t know or read all this stuff?”
It’s because they are in touch with that physical state and don’t try to think their way into or out of situations. They can feel the sexual energy, and they roll with it, making everything feel like it “just happened”. Because sex isn’t planned out or calculated; desires are felt and built upon.
Thus, the topic of discussion in their mind is not “How do I show her that I am the most desirable man?” Instead, it becomes “How do I remain within the physical state of desire?”
Staying within the state is almost as easy as straying from it, especially when women start throwing logical challenges in your way. React to that and try to explain why you’re doing what you’re doing from a logical standpoint, and you’re simply going to turn her off by appearing to be this manipulative, engineering man.
Here are a few tips to help stay in touch with that wild side, even when she tries to frame you into a logical mindset:
Don’t address sexual issues from a logical standpoint. This is one of the most common mistakes that men make when talking with women (women make it as well). Women object to something, and you begin automatically justifying it. A typical conversation runs down like this:
You: “Oh yeah, I love a girl who can take good care of her body.”
Her: “If all you’re after is a sexy girl without a brain between her ears, then you can talk to every other girl at this party.”
You: “Oh, no! I just like girls who take good care of themselves, because it shows that they’re attractive.”
In such a situation, everything sounds peachy… right?
His reason sounds justified. However, not only did he qualify himself to her by explaining why he said what he said, but he tried to frame it as attractive. It may sound perfectly well and simple for a conversation between two friends, but it absolutely kills any type of sexual tension when you’re out there debating the dynamics of sexuality with a girl.
Physically act like an animal. Yes, this means to stay in touch with your physicality. This goes hand-in-hand with body language.
Men who are too focused on remaining in a logical state of mind will often appear to be very stiff, uptight, and overall not very relaxed.
However, if you look at a man who is very in-tune with himself, you’ll notice that he’s grounded and relaxed.
It’s the same with most species of animals; they typically jaunt around quite naturally, because they’re not logically thinking “What if that ape over there doesn’t think I’m sexy? I better remember that confidence is key!”
Funny as that mental image might be, it’s time to get serious. Enough of the monkey-talk.
One of my favorite methods for remaining in the natural state of mind is to simply do things. I don’t think to myself, “Should I initiate kino?” I just touch a girl wherever feels natural, and don’t pay mind to the idea that she may have found such a thing inappropriate.
Building this portfolio where you just do things takes time, especially if you’re recovering from the mindset that you must always physically act with some sort of purpose behind the touch. Clear your mind and move forward; and when you get that urge, run with it, rather than resisting and retreating back into your head.
Incorporate primal tones into your speech. Most animals communicate through voice tone, and humans are no exception.
Think about nearly any sexual creature, such as an elephant or a dolphin. For them, it’s all about frequency and rhythm of their voice to communicate the emotions that they are feeling.
People stuck in a logical mindset focus too much on the words being communicated, and this is only being accelerated by our technological age. Text-based communication takes out much of the substance from interactions, and this precisely why it is not a reliable method of conveying feelings, even with our plethora of emoticons.
Luckily, emotion still exists and is easily recognizable in humans through screams of terror or bouts of laughter – but something appears to be lost in the male sexuality. What in the world does a man sound like who is showing he’s sexually excited about a woman who is sexually excited about him?
Chase goes over this in his eBook, as well as a much more in depth look at voice tone as a whole. But, broken down, you want to look at adding something called gutturals into your voice tone, which is one of the primary mechanisms that demonstrate our sexuality.
Slight guttural sounds are much like a purr from a feline species, which is often heard when they are feeling loved through physical stimulation – also known as petting.
As for humans, it often displays that you are sexual by nature and in your communications, which instantly increases not only your sexual value, but allows for her to remain in a sexual state by remaining congruent with your voice tone.
In The Jungle…
Now that you’re fully in touch with your inner Tarzan (who, by the way, managed to make a civilized girl swoon for him even though he could hardly speak her language) you can begin implementing these steps towards becoming better with women at the most basic level.
Most guys skip right to the logical point of view on things and never manage to nail down even the basics of human sexuality. Think of this as the foundation, which is then built upon by the logical factors that accompany mating.
Logical factors aren’t something that you can indefinitely ignore, but when you are in the heat of the moment it is extremely important to stay in touch with that sexual wild side. If you need a quick refresher on what exactly the steps are to getting her to stay in the sexual mindset, here’s a quick summary:
Get her to feel physical sexual desire through strong fundamentals.
Maintain the frame of a sexually desirable mate by remaining congruent; display that you are a physical, sexual man while interacting with her.
Address her logical needs outside of a sexual interaction – not within it.
The point of it all is to make sure that you cultivate that atmosphere, and remain within it; creating the sexual world that you’ve let her take part in, fulfilling one of her most basic desires.