Why Girls Like Bad Boys | Girls Chase

Why Girls Like Bad Boys

I've been pretty into TRON: Legacy lately. The visuals and audio are spectacular, so that's partly why I like it so much. Another big part of the reason though is that unlike most Hollywood movies, its hero (Sam Flynn, played by Garrett Hedlund) isn't a pushover and doesn't get sensitive and emotional about trivial stuff. He's in-control, laid back, and down-to-Earth. He cracks jokes at times other people are stressing out and losing their heads. He wins despite the circumstances. In other words, he's cool. And in other words, he's a bad boy.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

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Comments

Sam's picture

Hi Chase,

Just wanted to say thanks for all the great advice and content you post here. Some of this stuff is pure gold because I have had a few "ah ha" moments, especially about the interchangeability of value and good feelings, and this I think will take my game to a better level. More importantly though, it has greatly increased my understanding of relationships, not because you didn't know this, but you "just couldn't put it into words".

Another thing I learned here was that I was making the mistake of investment, but from what I have read here, there are a few things to fix here and there on this part. Can you please write up a comprehensive post on investment? (haven't come across one here yet) And some of the dos and don'ts of it. You did mention in one of your posts (chase framing post) your would write about "comprehensive investment / compliance post".

You probably hear a lot of praise, but I'm just putting it out there that this is indeed great stuff. I honestly do wish I had come across your site earlier. All in all, you now have a regular reader.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Howdy Sam; you're very welcome. Thanks for reading, and glad you've gotten some value out of the site.

Sure, yeah, I've been meaning to get to doing some more writing on investment; I'll look to make that the subject of my next blog post. Investment/compliance is actually a HUGE topic, so I probably couldn't do one full post to do the whole thing (unless it was like a 30,000 word post... yikes), but I'll try and zero in on the aspect of it I think it sounds like you're most interested in next (the, "How much should I invest in a girl?" part of it).

So, I'd say look for that post in a couple of days or so. I'm honored to have you as a regular reader on here; hope the upcoming post on investment doesn't disappoint!

Chase

Sam's picture

I forgot to mention one small thing in my comment. Please excuse the grammar since I typed it up in a bit of a hurry.

Ana's picture

Hello guys, I am Ana, so a girl, and I got to this topic and link, when I got a question from a friend of mine who was complaining: "why girls are wanting always the bad guys?" So, I had my own explination , asa girl, pretty close to yours, but not so elaborated. And i decided to look over the internet. Among others, I found this link, and I honestly say that I find myself as a woman in everything you say. So, I passes by to also thank you and tell you that you do a great job. Hugs from Romania.

Harry's picture

I was swiping my fathers car at 13 and driving by night. At 14 I had biceps the size of a professional middle weight boxer and thats about what I looked like, working out 3 hours a day every day. I could pin my father to the floor and I sometimes did exactly that. I was a good guy with a good heart living among neighbors who were like jackals. I was hitting clubs in SF and getting picked up on by the ladies before I was out of high school. First car: convertible sportscar; First real vacation: Europe and Greek Isles. Let me tell you what I think about nice guys. They are pack animals. They are like jackals. Check out jackals in the wild bringing down lions. They are relentless. Nice guys aren't even decent human beings but cowards hiding behind a facade. Given the opportunity they will gang rape. As long as everybodies hands are dirty they figure no one can point fingers. Bad boys go it alone and live by their own code. They typically learned early in life that they could not count on or trust others so well. Nice guys and bad guys are two different species. The nice guys are like a pack of wolves. The bad boys are like lone wolves. The pack will try to hunt down the lone wolf. Another way to look at it is like this, the bad boy is like a slow moving shark. Nice guys are like swarming pirhanna fish. They are bitter and they are full of malice and resentment. They try to hide this from girls but girls can see through it. They are not nice people.

Anonymous's picture

Hell yes. It's rare you see the truth put so succinctly. But it is true. A true nice guy, with a truly good loving heart that loves girls and all people, even if he comes across as the stereotypical "nice guy" will still do pretty well with girls. But most "nice guys" are NOT nice people inside at all. And he's right that girls see through it. I've come to understand that even when you can't bullshit a girl, they see straight through it always. A guy who acts brash may win a girls heart because she admires his bravado, but they can still see straight through any bullshit.

Anonymous's picture

Is that why so many women end up as single parents? Because they could see right through the the guy who knocked them up?

Anonymous's picture

Nah, that's due to another set of factors like low income, poor sex ed, poor education overall, and bad relationship role models.

For example, your (old) comment would get most college-educated women from a middle class background and good sex ed to drop you like a hot potato because your apparent bitterness increases the chances that you're going to be emotionally abusive.

Able's picture

Hey Chase,

I've been reading your articles and most of them has given my great insight but some has left me confused. There is one thing in this article that I have a question on. You mentioned that Bad Boys don't care and are unaffected by the way women act towards them, and that nice guys gets angry. What if the women act bitchy or treat you like a tool and if you still act like it doesn't bother you, she will continue this and make you a pushover. Isn't being a man means standing up for yourself and telling what you will tolerate and what you won't, as I have read in some of your other articles. So if the bad boys doesn't care at all on how he is being treated, wouldn't that make him a pushover? Also you mentioned that nice guys have unrealistic expectations, if anything I feel that nice guys settle for what they can get, where as bad boys strive for the perfect women who is going to take care of him so wouldn't that make bad boys as having unrealistic goals. If a bad boys is getting the hottest girls then, he must be setting higher goals than the nice guys in terms of dating. I am a nice guy at heart and I think most guys are even the bad ones but I do stand up for myself and does not tolerate any bullshit from women. Now I'm not saying that this article doesn't make sense but it confuses me a bit, if you can clear up of this a bit, I'll have a better understanding. Thank you

Nostrum's picture

You mentioned that Bad Boys don't care and are unaffected by the way women act towards them, and that nice guys gets angry.

What the article actually says is:

If they [women] say or do the wrong thing, a nice guy gets upset, or angry, or jealous, or defensive. But bad boys shrug off the things women say with a "girls are silly and cute" mentality …

Note that “shrug it off” entails not taking it seriously.

So to your question:

What if the women act bitchy or treat you like a tool and if you still act like it doesn't bother you, she will continue this and make you a pushover.

How did you get to be a pushover if you didn't take the nasty remarks seriously? It sounds like you've got a picture of someone actually taking the nasty remarks on board and changing the relationship.

Rather, the article is advising that you shrug it off when the woman behaves this way.

If she's not serious and you shrug it off, it will pass and you have shown her you won't obsess about every slip. If she was serious and you shrug it off, she'll press the issue. At that point, you still don't get angry; you just walk away and end the relationship.

In neither case do you get angry or upset, and in neither case are you a pushover. You're cool and in control of yourself, without trying to control her.

Anonymous's picture

There's one really bad contradiction in your article.

"Guys like Sam Flynn or James Bond. Guys like Wolverine from the X-Men."

"Bad boys don't have or do any of this. Their expectations and standards are far more realistic and much closer to the way women actually are – because they're based in real world experience rather than on television and movie portrayals of how women ought to be, like many nice guys' expectations are."

So it's bad for guys to have expectations from movies, yet girls have expectations from movies. You can't say that one is good and one is bad. It's literally the same thing.

You're entire argument is what is called the straw man, which is considered a logical fallacy. You are wording the bad boy traits as good, and the good guy traits as bad. So by beating up on the good guy it makes you seem more right.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon,

Good try! However:

1. Me stating that there are examples of attractive men in the movies is not a contradiction of me stating that the movies unrealistically portray women's relationship with nice guys. Your argument assumes I must make either a blanket acceptance or a blanket rejection of all movie representations of all disparate kinds of individuals, which is an indefensible position.

2. Nowhere in the post do I say that it's good for women to have expectations from movies. If you're wondering why I don't write, "Women: stop having expectations from movies!" it's because this is a men's dating advice website, not many women read it, and the advice on here is designed to make men better with women, not the other way around.

3. Contrasting the nice guy's performance with women with the bad boy's performance with women could be construed as a straw man - if I misrepresented either the bad boy or the nice guy or I failed to make any actual arguments stating why women are attracted to bad boys. So which is it you're proposing I misrepresented - is it that the nice guy is actually a steaming sexy turn-on for women, or is it that bad boys fail to create any stirrings in women's hearts via the points listed under the subheading "Why Girls Like Bad Boys?"

Ciao,
Chase

Sydney Woman's picture

If you think women dont read your blog, you're really uninformed.

Your blog is brilliant in helping us understand what makes us tick. It's just a little embarrassing that a guy is teaching us this. There's at least 20 women I know who read your articles. Infact we are signed up to your newsletter too - I like how you refer to us as males....always wanted to be one of the guys lol

I think all articles that refer to women liking bad boys should be re-headed (is that a word) to

"Why women don't like needy insecure low value men and desire men who are confident in all aspects of his life"

I like how you wrote it's not black or white, we like something in the middle, kind but confident is the best to aim for. Almost all women who are secure in themselves (without abandonment issues, issues surrounding how they look etc) ABSOLUTELY LOVE (adore, admire and respect) a guy who 1. looks after himself physically 2 career focussed 3. extremely confident, so much so that he laughs off anything that's disrespectful towards him 4. loyalty to his woman (try not to ogle at other women and she will feel very very loved - few men know how to make a woman feel this type of loyalty and you stand out from all the other men pursuing her).

Anonymous's picture

Well Chase I totally agree I was a wimp and it didn't get me any where with women.Now that has change I woke up one day and totally change. I learnt to be the bad boy girls like, how first of all I stopped being nice and caring.So your nice that don't mean she's going to be, First thing I don't dress to give the impression I'm nice, I don't just give women attention,she has to earn it when I see a girl is pulling my leg and not being serious I stop paying attention.I also avoid being put in the friend zone how by just not being a girls friend,you have to learn to play the part. With nice guys they always make the woman to be more important than them. Never say hi to a Lady first,Never ask for her number always give yours,Never ask if she has a boyfriend she will think you want a relationship which will make her run for the hills. I'm 36 and when I go into the city I get attention from very young girls I dress the part and girls beg me not to cut my beard they like my rough looks.

Anonymous's picture

I like the bad boy thing I learnt it from my friends the way girls seem to warm up to you when she sees your not boring or trying to chase her. I found that women see bad boys as a force to reckon with. He never acts soft or afraid and don't literally wants anyone acceptance,he does his own thing instead of tying to blend in. Girls feel secure and protected around him which a lot of people don't seem to understand.He's kind of a dare devil,popular and people seem to look up to him which is a big plus to women that they are not standing next to a wuss. He is also easy to talk to and never seems to want to be in the same place for two long. I applied these things and trust me they work not only do women like warm up to me, they try to fit in my space.

Anonymous's picture

Chase I read your article on being warm and I liked it, but I am not sure how to be a warm person and a bad boy. Any thoughts?

Alex Chipenko's picture

Hey Chase,

I've been looking at your website for roughly 6-7 months now and it has made a huge difference. I am a high-school student and at this point can talk to girls easy, and bedding them is no particular challenge is this: my good friend is the most popular kid in school, and in high school, it seems as though the most popular kid gets the most sex and girls. If this is true, how exactly can I become that most popular kid in school, dethroning my friend of his status of being most popular, and how to play the high school dating game as well in order to get the most hookups.

With warm regards,
Alex Chipenko

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase,

I need your help about moving girls.
Will you please explain that "How i can move with girls INTELLIGENTLY?"

Pls reply.

Anonymous's picture

heyy chase...i seem to make a good first impression(thats what i have been told) but what i feel is i lack the skills to take things forward..your advice is much needed bro..!

Anonymous's picture

I really recommend No More Mr. Nice Guy - Robert Glover.

The "nice guys" are not boring or ordinary. The "bad boys" are not exciting or uncommon.

I am a "nice guy", and I had lots of women throwing themselves at me, only for them to realize I am not erect, thus unfuckable. Because my sexuality is MUTILATED.
I was conditioned by my mommy and my granny to repress my sexuality around women. Those cunts were married with men who had no balls. So these women were going buzurk in their lives. They were ball cutting creatures roaming the streets, with no one to keep them in check.

Your mom neutered the fuck out of you. Literally. She raised you to stay her little unspoiled angel, for life. Her little dog to keep her company. She neutered you like Paris Hilton castrated her chihuahua. The female energy, in the absence of male energy, becomes all destructive. It's an evolutionary thing. These moms, literally want to destroy the offspring of their unworthy husbands. Those farts got to fuck them only because they were broke, in deep need of money, and your pop offered your mom financial stability in exchange for her pussy.

This is the capital "sin". The offspring pays for the unholy matrimony between a woman forced to turn hooker with a man, so she can survive.

Women like to fuck! They fuck indiscriminately. If your penis can get hard, they'll fuck you.

BUT.

Women have a simple but tough inhibitor, evolved through millennia of social conditioning. They can't just jump on your dick, or they'll risk their life. Imagine you're walking on the sidewalk in a sunny day, and a woman comes to you, gets naked and starts to fuck you. Ok, you fuck her, right there on the street, then what? You'll go home, and she'll go home. Yeah, and 20 other guys will go after her to rape her, because she "deserves it".
This is a dramatic example, but the idea is that women have to act like angels, to protect themselves from stalkers, rapists, abusers, etc.

So, the women have this inhibitor of their sexuality, like a shield.

This fucking shield has to be penetrated, before fucking a woman. A male has to be erect not only physically, but also has to be erect emotionally and socially.
You have to have the strength required to thrust yourself through her bitch shield. You have to carry your message of sexuality through her defenses, to inform her of your sexual aptness, discretion, respect, all the characteristics that guarantees her social status, reputation, and at the deepest level - her physical integrity (if she gets pregnant with you, she wants to know you'll provide and protect).

So, there's no "nice guys" and "bad boys".

There's actually "ability to communicate sexual information, social information, emotional information".

There's swarms of ordinary men who fuck and have kids with swarms of ordinary women. Those guys were able to signal to those girls the right information, and so they mated.

There's also swarms of "bad boys" who don't get any pussy, exactly for being bad boys.
There's swarms of "bad boys" who successfully faked the signals to deceive swarms of inexperienced women.

The problem with guys who don't get pussy, is that they either don't know how to signal to women.
And a certain type of guys, suffering from the Nice Guy syndrome, as labeled by Robert Glover, have suppressed or repressed sexuality, through conditioning since childhood, conditioning done by fucked up mothers and grandmothers and sisters.

These are the Nice Guys - males that have been castrated since childhood. Their sexual, sexual, emotional communications are jammed.

Nice Guys like to fuck, oh how we like to fuck, like rabbits, for hours. But we behave like limp dicks, in fear of touching a girl, because in our fucked up brains, there's a fucking monster mommy or monster granny or monster sister, who begins to yell and throw stuff around and make a complete scandal, for touching a girl in a sexual way.

You have to first treat these deep infections and malware and trojans and security holes in your software.
Your mom and pop designed these exploits in your system, to control you, like you control a dog with an electronic leash. It's a fucking syndrome, that requires rewiring your fucking brain.

It's like having a skin infection. You do not "start acting like a badboy to get girls". It's like "start acting like a guy who doesn't have a skin infection, to make the skin infection disappear".
No madafaka. This is exactly what a fucking businessman wants. He sells you a medicine that doesn't work. If you tell him it doesn't work, he tells you: You have to buy more. Madafaking crooks.

For a skin infection, you need the right antibiotic, not a fucking cosmetic cream.
For a broken leg, you need a surgeon to put your bone together, not a fucking cool looking new pair of jeans.

Jeff 's picture

"He's in-control, laid back, and down-to-Earth. He cracks jokes at times other people are stressing out and losing their heads. He wins despite the circumstances. In other words, he's cool. And in other words, he's a bad boy."

That's not a bad boy!! Bad boys do bad things. Serial killers are bad boys. Other career criminals are bad boys. These women don't want bad boys. Cool, relaxed guys are nice guys. They're composed. What she's saying is that women don't want wimpy guys. They want tough guys. That is NOT the definition of a bad boy.

zenmasterk's picture

1 fictional guy whom I copied extensively is Raylan Givens in Justified played by Timothy Olyphant. He's got the whole swagger down to the T, tone of voice, body language, diction, squinting effectively. Taylor Kitsh as Tim Riggins in Friday Night Lights also an excellent example, minus the drinking and shit.

Jimbo's picture

There are the Sam Flynn types of bad boys, whom we may call 'the good bad boys,' and there are the outright thugs--the drug dealers with the shaved head and the facial piercings who have been to jail more times than Paula Deen has uttered a racial slur. And women seem to go for both of them. They just love the Byronic, fringe-of-society vibe they get from them. Their potentially scary or threatening look or reputation also make them tingle.

Jimbo's picture

Ladies and gentlemen, the Uncontested Badboy Anthem/Manifesto from no other than kid-loving, brain-eating Vennu Mallesh.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJa2kwoZ2a4

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