Using Intrigue to Get Girls Chasing You
One big mistake I see a lot of men make when meeting new women is forgetting to allow for some mystery… a little intrigue. And a little bit goes a long way – it fascinates women, gets them thinking about you when you’re not there, gets them frustrated – in a good way! – trying to figure you out.
And as they try to figure you out, they’re all the while investing more and more time thinking about you. And as we all know, the more invested in you a woman is, the more she’ll LIKE you and the more she’ll stick by you and the more she’ll follow your lead.
Intrigue is an awesome, AWESOME way to get girls chasing you!
But hey, what do I mean, allow for some intrigue? Well, to put it in perspective, imagine this:
You meet a beautiful girl at your favorite coffees shop or bar. You end up in a conversation with her. You ask her how old she is; she says, “Old enough; how old are you?” then no matter how much you ask, she refuses to tell you. Then you ask her where she’s from, and she tells you, “A little town far away, but I’m here now, and I love it.” Again, when you press for details, she won’t give you a clear answer.
She intrigues you. She ropes you into this exciting frustration of wanting to know yet having absolutely no idea how to get the answer. And not only do you not know the answer to her question, but you also don’t know WHY she won’t tell you, and that’s the real fun in intrigue. Is she hiding something? Scared to talk about her past? What could her reasoning be???
A girl has NO IDEA what your reason is for deferring to answer. She becomes more and more intrigued, feeling more and more like you are this riddle, this puzzle she HAS to solve.
All human beings love mystery. It’s why there are so many movies about outer space – ANYTHING could be out there, we reason. It’s why the men in women’s romance novels are often mysterious, with foggy back stories and unknown origins – they could come from ANYWHERE, and thus have the ability to be ANYTHING that the woman desires.
You can become such a man – a man of mystery, of unknown intentions and unknown origins. And it’s relatively easy to do… get her interested enough to ask you questions, then dodge them with a non-answer that deflects the question by asking her something about herself or changing the topic entirely.
Remember, the steps are:
- Non-answer
- Deflection
A few examples:
Girl: Why do you XYZ?
You: Does it matter? (non-answer) Let’s just enjoy ourselves right now, in this moment. (deflection)
Girl: Are you ABC?
You: I’m really not the kind of guy you can categorize as one thing or another. (non-answer) How about you? (deflection)
Once you have intrigue generated, you must maintain it, at least for a while. She’ll start pressing harder and harder for an answer – stay strong and stay mysterious. Once a man lets the intrigue slip – by giving her too many concrete answers – he’s given up some of his power, the power of his own mystery, and made himself less interesting and mysterious. Avoid that pitfall and keep yourself shrouded in unanswered questions.
You want to MAINTAIN your power, by maintaining your mystery.
Another way you can create intrigue is by doing one thing and saying another. This is fun! For instance, tell a girl you’re talking to that you’re really shy with women, as you sit next to her, chatting her up confidently with your arm around her. Or tell her you don’t believe in alcohol, then order a drink at the bar right in front of her. Or tell her how you’re always trying to watch your weight and not eat too much, then order a gigantic pepperoni pizza all for yourself and ask her if she wants a slice.
Contradictions like that cause conflicts in people’s brains that they have trouble reconciling, and for women it makes you more intriguing, harder to figure out, and ultimately, more alluring and attractive!
So the next time you’re speaking with a woman you like, remember to intrigue her a little – it’s an old staple of many women’s flirtations (don’t reveal too much too soon), and if you want to get girls tying themselves up in knots trying to figure you out, make it a part of your repartee – today!
See you next time,
Chase Amante
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Comments
so earlier i saw it said that
so earlier i saw it said that you should press harder if a woman is being vague (like "are you just embarassed"). What if she does the same thing to you? or what if you press on a topic too personal that you had no idea about? like "i dont like talking about my dad", would you be like "that's fine, at least youre out of the house now" or "ah i see, yeah, sometimes scars stay but they heal. you still have positives ahead of you, like [reference/joke some topic talked about previously]" "yeah" "so what about [blah]"
actually, maybe that is the way to safeguard responses like that, starting off with positive, future things.
do women and men respond to this kind of intrigue differently? cause i feel like id be annoyed at dodgy answers repeatedly.
Re: Being Dodgy
Hey again, PG-
Well, you certainly don't want to be dodgy! Mysterious is more about offering a little, but suggesting more. Like so:
You provide information, but don't go into great detail. Enough so that it sounds and feels like an answer, without spilling all your beans.
If a girl presses you, you have the right to get annoyed. When people press me on things I don't particularly care to go into (e.g., things that won't be productive for moving the interaction forward), I shrug, look off to the side into the distance, and get aloof. That's how you communicate to them that they're in the wrong.
But yeah, generally, don't be dodgy; be intriguing. You should make her want to know more, rather than annoyed at the lack of an answer. Give her some, just not all.
Chase
intrigue
how long do you keep the intrigue?
Girls are normally intrigued but I tend to spell too much by the time we get intimate.
Its cool but i'd always feel that I lost my power...which I probably did.
though normally the relationship isn't affected.I'd always be feeling a lack.
Is it me or did I lose some power?
it just don't feel fulfilling once you start feeling they know all your (details)
Am in a relationship right now where its been 10 days and I feel I made three mistakes:
1- too many details about me
2- too much contact/hang out
3- apparently too much complementing
How can the above be put back on track? ^_^
Thank you Chase,
Re: How long to keep intrigue going?
Hey Taz,
Well, the thing about intrigue is, the moment it's gone, you lose power forever, yeah.
A lot of intrigue over the long term really has to deal with how you structure your life. Like, part of the reason why I eventually decided that travel was essential for me over the long term was that I didn't think there was a way to maintain intrigue in long term relationships without being an international man of mystery.
You can run relationships without intrigue -- and many, many people do -- but they do discernibly lack something, and whenever I meet women in long term relationships who are dating men they've long since discontinued being intrigued by, there's a very palpable desire that I can feel coming from them when I meet them and begin to wrap them up in the intrigue that I've constructed around myself.
I think the best way around this if you have a relatively ordinary life is to still make sure she finds out little hidden things about you every now and then, and that she discovers sides to you she didn't know existed. It's especially important to be the strong, silent type over the long-term, so that she's gradually finding things out but only by doing the work herself.
The guys who just divulge everything up front eliminate intrigue fast, and with it a lot of the mystery and excitement of their relationships.
Chase
Next thing to say.
Hey Chase, what if a girl asks this: "Where are you from?"
Me: "Does it matter, lets just enjoy the time right now, together."
Her: "Are you ashamed of where you are from?"
What do you recommend to say after she asks me that?
I'm not Chase, but I think I
I'm not Chase, but I think I can help.
Most likely your body language and tone were telling her something different. Remember that you always have to have a sexy, confident look about you as you say this.
Looking at her out of the corner of your eyes and a little smile before saying, "Does it matter, lets just enjoy the time right now, together," said in a flirtatious voice, makes all the difference.
If it isn't your body language/tone, a proper response would be,
"-chuckle- (Non-answer). Are you?(deflection)"
You could be witty and funny,
You could be witty and funny, say something like.
"well.. maybe I'm not sure if you'd visit my family, get in their good graces and be treated to some embarrassing childhood photos."
Funny, and turns the table on her making it seem like she's the one who has enough interest in you to do such a thing.
Next thing to say
You coulded have thrown the ball back to her court yard...
Her: where you from?
You: does it matter? Tell me something i dont know... Where you from?
And ask her that last question with a big smile like you already know what shes going to say. " remember, sexy smiles dont show teeths" :)
contradicts!
Hello Chase, ive been following you for some while now and ive noticed something about intrigue. what if you say something that contradicts yourself?, like
Girl: you have sex with many girls? (but she knows! by how the confidence and tonality)
guy: Nope
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