Tough Time Socially in College? Here's What to Change | Girls Chase

Tough Time Socially in College? Here's What to Change

There are a lot of expectations and fears clashing with each other when you reach college, and it is easy to get lost in what just comes easiest socially, romantically, and sexually.

But what is the approach you must take to open your mind and achieve some great results and memories while there?

tough time college

The most common approach to socializing, fraternizing, and dating in college is a “build it and they will come” philosophy, or “let us wait and see”, because we expect things to magically change and don’t want to rely on who we are because “like always” there is a greater risk involved in taking initiative due to the perceived separation it creates from you (the action taker) and others (the majority of people doing what the majority does, following the same wait and see approach).

And if you are separate from the people around you, “how can you capitalize on the social abundance that is talked about?” you wonder.

Cody LyansAbout the Author: Cody Lyans

Girls Chase’s resident “man of mystery”, Cody shows shy, quiet guys how to turn these traits into assets. Girls call his style “cool and calibrated”; he’s adept at smoothly meeting girls everywhere from the beach to the dance floor. Cody prides himself on versatility, and specializes in both fast (~20 minute) hookups, and slow, sensual seductions. Book a phone coaching session with Cody today to learn from him directly.

BOOK CALL WITH CODY

Get Your FREE eBook on Texting Girls

how to text girls pdf

Sign up for our email insights series and get a copy of our popular ebook "How to Text Girls" FREE. Learn more ...

Related Articles from GirlsChase.com

Comments

Anonymous's picture

Great article Cody. I am going to be a junior in college and cannot believe how fast my first few years went. Going into college at a big university, I had the wait and see mentality that you stated in the article. I thought that my success with women would change with a clean slate of my reputation of not getting with girls in high school. Silly me. I ended up not getting into the fraternity I wanted freshman year and blamed everyone but myself. I was depressed and wanted my life to be more exciting, rather than sitting in my dorm room on weekends. Luckily, I found GirlsChase after the summer of my freshman year and it is the greatest thing that has happened to me. Over the past year, I have become a completely different man. I changed to the person I have always wanted to be, which is a man who people respect and love. I decided to get involved on campus, joining a social and professional fraternity, clubs, and intramural sports teams. I did not achieve all of this by blaming others, but took the initiative to change myself while seizing numerous opportunities on campus. This summer, I have a few jobs on campus, one of them being a bouncer at a bar. My success with women has increased drastically from no girls my freshman year, to numerous dates weekly. I have followed the GirlsChase way and am learning new things about women everyday. To people unhappy in college right now, all I can say is your life is not going to change over night. You have to work hard and change your identity to the man you want to be and want others to perceive you as. I cannot wait to see what my last two years in college hold. Carpe Diem.

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

Glad you took the high road and decided to turn your situation around for yourself. It takes a very mature person to stop blaming others and learn to improve themselves. I'm very happy to hear about your success and how you managed to turn it around for yourself.

Take care,

Just Dave

ramirezs316's picture

The guy filled with self pity was me exactly. It's eerie how well you've articulated this type of person and boy did I fit it. Aside from still holding on to my old life back home, my conceptions of who I was were still based on my old life. In essence, only until college ended was I able to take a step back and become the person I had always wanted to be. Before, I sat back, wallowed in things I thought I couldn't change or would just work themselves out, and failed to pick up on this newfound freedom I had been afforded. Partying and social events were something I actively avoided. Self improvement was something I only took up academically. If I saw a cute girl in class, I had no knowledge or drive to approach her because that was just not a part of who I was. Of course, deep down I wanted to, but I allowed no growth to get me there. I've spent the last few years regaining some of the social experience I missed out on (partly because I still live in a college town) and yes, I do find myself sometimes asking "What happened?" Luckily, after a summer of growth (which involved both lots of approaching and lots of partying and socializing) last year, I feel I've gained a lot of those social experiences back, in part thanks to this site.

David Riley's picture

Hey Ramirez,

I'm glad to hear this site helped you tremendously. The thing I love most about GC is the fact that you can change yourself if you really want to. I'm glad you sought a better life, and are living a happier lifestyle.

Take care,

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

Hi guys, I have a quick question about body language.
I can't figure out this girls' attitude toward me. At the start of meeting
her at a pub (the situation is me, his guy friend and her, she knows both
Guys well but not me). She gave me the prolonged gaze during eye contact
when we first met that lets me know she finds me attractive. Also eyeballed
me a little when I was introduced. This is on top if being told she finds me
attractive.
However whenever we spoke in te interaction, either alone together or with
the others she'd break eye contact off quickly and I felt like she was
ignoring me at times. Then at the end, saying goodbye to me (from a distance
of about 3 metres as I was walking off) gave me loads of eye contact.
This isn't overly flirtatious eye contact, so I don't think she's trying to
tease me (she gets really flirty with her male friends). Im quite intense
with how I make eye contact, do you think I scared her off? I dot think she
seems amazingly confident but hardly shy either.
Cannot figure out what is going on! I met her briefly on a subway by chance when I was with a friend of hers, and her body language was the same. Not much eye contact when we had more of a chance to socialise, then a lot when I was leaving off the train saying goodbye to her (again, a few yards away). She's really flirty with her guys friends, but why is she being like this with me? I suppose I don't know her well yet and could just be overthinking,
Thank you!

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

It's possible she may have liked one of the guys you were out with. Depending how you actually engaged her during the interaction, it could have been a number of things. Maybe she just didn't vibe well with you, seeing how you didn't really get to socialize with her during the first interaction. She could actually be shy. Girls have no problem being all "flirty" with guys they "know". You didn't really get a opportunity to really socialize with her so it's kind of unclear.

Here's the piercing eye contact article: Piercing Eye Contact
Eye Contact Flirting: Eye Contact Flirting
As well as body language: Opening Body Language

Let me know if these help.

Take care,

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

Awesome article, keep up the good work!!! By the way, I'd really like to thank all the writers here on GirlsChase, my self-esteem and how girls react to me have been changing for the better ever since I found this site about a year ago. Anyway, I was just wondering if you had some good body language tips while in class, like whether I should have one arm on the table, sitting backwards,etc. Thanks again and have a nice summer with some great company ;p!

Author
Cody Lyans's picture

Sure guys, body language tips headed your way :)

Add new comment

The Latest from GirlsChase.com