How to Have Safe Sex with Women You've Just Met
Sunday, 6 July 2014
In this article, I will share some advice on how to have literally safe sex. “Safe sex” does not only mean knowing how to avoid STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) or unwanted pregnancies – there are also many more risks out there to be aware of.
Now, I hope I will not scare you away from seducing women – that is not my purpose. In most cases, casual sex does not lead to any dramatic consequences, but, very rarely, they do happen. In this post I will share some advice that will reduce the risk of any negative consequences from having casual sex.
Again, most of the time, you will be fine. Serious consequences from having casual sex occur rarely, yet they do happen, and if you have forgotten to read this post, you may regret it later. Fact is, this post might not be the most exciting to read, but it will cover some simple tools that allow you to have a lot of fun without worrying.
There are different risks you take when having casual sex. Today, I will cover the different risks and give you different ways to avoid them (if not totally, at least reduce the risks drastically).
The risks are:
- Other diseases
- Unwanted pregnancies
- Women going psychotic over you
- Rape accusations
STDs can often scare people away from sex, but 90% of the time they can be cured. The STD you are most likely to catch is chlamydia or mycoplasmas (very similar to chlamydia). Both these STDs can in the long run make you sterile, so even though they are both easily curable with antibiotics, they should be taken seriously. What makes these STDs dangerous is that they often leave no symptoms.
Other STDs that are less common are gonorrhea and syphilis. These STDs are more dangerous as they can literally kill you. The good thing however about these STDs are that they leave symptoms. Genital warts (HPV) also leave symptoms.
And finally you have the two big scares: HIV and hepatitis B. It should be noted that these diseases are not curable. However, they are not categorized as deadly anymore, but instead as chronic (at least in the Western world). Either way, you are better off not to catch them.
Condoms protect you from all these diseases. Now, many men avoid using condoms on girls who seem like “innocent Madonna’s”, not looking shady. But fact is, often upper-class women who are stylish and looking innocent are more likely to have an STD such as chlamydia than a prostitute who tests themselves very often. Any girls who has casual sex risks getting an STD. So don’t let any Madonna/whore complex stand in your way, as “innocent” girls can have STDs too.
It is very good idea to test yourself for STDs four times a year. I do so myself. This way I know I cannot what so ever become sterile as a result from for example chlamydia. This allows me to sleep in peace every night without having to worry about such things. All you need to do is take a urine test. If you by any chance have any serious symptoms (like gonorrhea), you should get checked by a doctor.
Now, keep in mind that condoms do protect you against HIV and hepatitis B, but also keep in mind that these diseases are conveyed much more easily through anal sex. As we know, the anal opening does not naturally lubricate, so you risk having your condom breaking. Therefore, I highly recommend you always use a good lubricant when penetrating the “forbidden” hole. I recommend Astroglide (you can find it on Ebay). Do not use oils as lubricants, as they destroy condoms.
Also, I highly recommend taking a blood test twice a year to check yourself for HIV and hepatitis B. Keep in mind that in order to test positive for HIV, you need to wait two month for the virus to incubate. That waiting time, if you feel that you are at risk, can literally kill you – so better to just be on the safe side and protect yourself in the first place.
However, a disease you really should be concerned about is herpes. Using a condom reduces the risks of transmission, but you are still at risk. If you want to reduce the risks of getting herpes (no matter what type) do as followed: when you are about to go down on a girl, spread your fingers through her genital lips, opening them up. Not only does this stimulate her vagina and prepares her for some good oral sex, but it allows you to have a good look at her vagina. If you see anything shady, you can always back off. Remember: try to have a look into a vaginal opening, as herpes can often occur around this area.
There are probably tons of other STDs, but these are the most common
ones. Following my advice will make your life better and remove a lot
your worries. You can also check out Chase’s article “How to Avoid STDs Even If You Have Lots of
Sex” for even more on STDs.
I will now quickly talk about diseases that not are sexually transmitted: oral herpes, influenza, and throat infections, with herpes being our biggest concern.
Think about how exposed you are to getting herpes when you are hanging out in clubs having tons of make-outs (that most likely lead nowhere)? Fact is, that is probably how I caught oral herpes (cold sores) in the first place. But keep in mind, the fact that you drink alcohol makes you even more vulnerable to these diseases.
A make-out, according to my experience, only leads to sex 10% of the time (maybe even less). So you might ask yourself, “Do I always need to make out with tons of girls?”
Unless these criteria are fulfilled, I would not make out with a girl:
Her logistics are decent
Her level of interest is high
She is not too shy and lets you escalate on her (either physically or verbally with the use of sex talk)
She escalates in return (she touches you back or responds positively to your sex talk)
Your intuitions says that having sex with this girl as an outcome is a huge possibility
If these criteria hold, you can go ahead and take the risk; it will be worth it. It is still wise however to have a close look at her lips. If you see anything shady, back off; in that case, it is really not worth it!
If you are a beginner, you can allow yourself to get ill a few times in order to get some experience… but still watch out for herpes.
Not using a condom can put you at risk. Most of the time, unwanted pregnancies occur when women lie about being on the pill. This happens pretty often. There are two reasons for this:
The first one is a result of the female actually wanting a child and fooling a man to give away his semen (psychotic).
The second reason is because the female is too aroused to think logically and wants to feel you right now, without having anything between you.
The bottom line is… use a condom unless you truly know the girl. And still, even though you know the girl, you are still at risk.
Sometimes in relationships women impregnate themselves in order to keep you as their boyfriend. This happens a lot when she fears that you might leave her. In order to be safe, avoid cumming inside of her – cum somewhere else. But if you do cum inside of her, make sure you have seen her taking the morning after pill that same day and the day after, and you should be fine.
Also, if your girlfriend keeps talking about children related topics, be on your watch.
Women Going Psychotic Over You
This tends to happen when a girl likes you but you are not hers
yet. Worse, it happens even more often when a girl likes you and you
don’t like her back. For example, if you had a one-night stand with a
girl, you meet up with her a few times as friends with benefits, but she
expects more. This can result in her
making your life a living hell.
She will start making a lot of serious drama. To mention a few cases: “fake dangers” (she is in danger and you need to save her), “fake pregnancies” (she claims she is pregnant but she is not), and having stuff “you need to help her with”.
A good way to avoid this is to make things very clear to her. If you just want her as a friend with benefits, make that really clear. You might risk losing her, but that is okay. It is better than facing a lot of drama, and, at the end of the day, losing her anyway.
I also do not recommend having girls who are into you emotionally as friends with benefits. Friends with benefits are people who are simply friends… who have sex. Nothing more. Anything else will disrupt that that type of relationship.
If a girl starts making a lot of drama without even being your girlfriend, you should cut all contact with her. I mean it. She will just make your life a living hell.
You can see Ricardus’s article “Dodging the Dangers of Sex (and Dating)” for more on psychotic women and other related situations.
We will first start off by talking about “false rape accusations”. This phenomenon has sadly become more common these last years due to the rape hysteria that lives within our society.
Yet there are ways to avoid becoming the victim of a “false rape accusation”. First off, it would be helpful to analyze one of its common causes.
Women often false rape accuse whenever their social reputation is at risk from having casual sex with a stranger.
For example, if she has a boyfriend and he finds out you had sex with his girlfriend, you risk getting accused falsely of rape. Women may accuse you of rape in order to prevent receiving any social sanctions (like losing her boyfriend). That is one of the reasons I don’t consciously go for girls with boyfriends.
Secondly, if a girl is very conservative or shows any signs of heavy anti-slut defense (i.e., she cares a lot about not being perceived as a slut) you should be on your guard. Avoiding prudish girls who care too much about not being perceived as a slut might be a good idea if you are just looking for casual sex.
But her friends also play a role. Now you can’t always know who her friends are, but if you by any chances get to know her friends and you see that they are very restrictive, beware.
A simple tool to avoid fake rape accusations altogether is to have low-key sex: nobody knows anything about your dirty little secret – i.e., nobody knows you really had sex. This means that you need to keep your mouth shut about who you are having sex with.
False rape accusations can also be used as a tool for vengeance.
Most of the time when women take this into use, it is for punishing men
for “using them” sexually. In other words, just having sex with them
and throwing them out. Don’t do that.
Have sex with her, and then friendly chat with her.
Keep the vibe friendly after you’ve had sex.
Eat together or play some Xbox together before you leave each other after a one-night stand.
Take all reasonable steps you can to prevent sex regret and you will be fine.
For all you know, you might have just met an amazing girl. I am not saying that you need to be a white knight or anything, just be friendly after you’ve had sex.
Let us now talk about actual rapes. Sometimes a man can actually rape a girl without knowing it. For example, if the girl is too drunk to really consent, the man she had sex with is per definition a rapist. Rule of thumb: avoid totally smashed girls. Secondly, avoid being too drunk yourself. You are less in control when you are drunk and you might not have the limits you would usually have. You might persist so much on getting to have sex with her that you might end up raping her, without it being your intention.
Also, a good way to avoid raping a girl is, whenever you face any kind of resistance from her, to only persist with your escalation three times. If she still resists after your third attempt, back off totally and only have sex with her if she suddenly starts making a move.
Obviously if you get a very clear “NO” from her, then you should back off ASAP.
Be sober and in control. If you are in doubt, better be safe and back off. It is worth it.
To Sum Up
Here we covered numerous issues that could occur when seducing women. The first one we covered was STDs, where the use of condoms was obviously the weapon of choice against them. But we pointed out that herpes (no matter the type), even though condoms reduce the risks of transmission, could be transmitted nevertheless. You best tool in such a case is your eyes.
Further, it is also recommended to keep an eye on women’s lips before making out. Random club make-outs are the easiest way to catch herpes on your lips. Further, avoid having unnecessary make-outs if you’d like to avoid catching throat infections and influenza.
But pregnancy can also be an issue. For this, use a condom – do not take for granted that the woman you are having sex with is on the pill – she might just be lying about it.
Women can also cause a lot of drama and make your life a living hell with things like acting as though they’re constantly in danger and faking pregnancies. The cause to this is pretty simple – the woman is CRAZY over you, but not necessarily in a good way. Such women are better off out of your life, so cut them out. It also helps making it clear that you are not looking for a relationship with them. Making a woman doubt such a thing can work to create attraction, but in this case, making her more attracted is simply counterproductive.
We also discussed rape accusation. Women accuse falsely as a tool of revenge – so treat her like a human being, i.e., don’t just screw her and throw her out. I am not here saying that you need to be white knight – giving her gifts and licking her arse or anything – just be friendly.
Finally, we pointed out that you better watch out for not being a rapist yourself. Sometimes, you might have the best of intentions – you just want to give her a good time – but sadly, your actions do not match. It is hard to tell whether or not the sex is always fully consensual, but give it three attempts (or less if her resistance is of a serious character) before letting her go.
My best advice for you is to always be on the watch and stay sober. That in itself will help you enjoy safe and consensual casual sex.
I hope I didn’t scare you. I haven’t ended up in trouble since I started out in 2007 and I have been with quite a few women since then, and so far, the worst thing that has happened to me is catching chlamydia once.
I hope this was useful.
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