Social Skills 101: Pushing Past Your Comfort Zone | Girls Chase

Social Skills 101: Pushing Past Your Comfort Zone

Social SkillsA lot of you have commented on the fact that you want to see more posts about social interactions. Well, I want you to know, we hear you. This technically should’ve come before my last post, but either way, I’m officially starting a series of posts dedicated to every aspect of social interactions – our very own social skills training series.

A little more about my background, since we haven’t discussed it to much great detail before: I’ve worked in law firms, sales, have been a part of countless organizations, have studied psychology, and have spent time all over this beautiful planet of ours.

Along the way, I’ve spent countless days, weeks, and hours meeting and interacting with women from sun up to sundown (and often later) to get closer to reaching the same level of understanding and efficacy with women that Chase and Ricardus share with you every day.

As those of you who have been around this site have seen, the three of us work toward many of the same goals, but come from very different points of view.

The feeling of just starting out and getting a lot of your basic social skills down is still vivid for me, and I know how intimidating or confusing it can be to be put in a new or overwhelming social situation and still want to pick up a girl on top of that.

So get ready for the series, and let’s start off with a proper introduction.

Colt WilliamsAbout the Author: Colt Williams

Raised in the American Midwest, Colt Williams made a name for himself in dating with a style based on soulful poetic seductions and playful dance floor antics. His style is all about inspiring girls and drawing them into one’s world. You can book phone coaching with him here, or get a copy of his guide to getting laid on Tinder, the product of months of study and experimentation by him on the medium.

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Comments

Knight's picture

Hey Colt,
first time I've seen you post. Interesting article, keep up the work mate.

Anonymous's picture

you blow my mind

AJ's picture

Hey Colt just wanted to drop a line and let you know that I really enjoyed this article! I know that as a natural introvert and former loser with women, I can personally attest to pushing out of your comfort zone, feeling the fear and doing it anyways. Once you get past that hump, life starts to feel real good. It's just one of those things where the more you do it, the better you get at it.

Walls's picture

Also a former introvert. Looking forward to your series, Colt!

Swaye's picture

Hey Chase,

You know how we can apply social skills to our social circles? Also if you make one for college game!

Thanks

Jon's picture

Hey this one is actually by a new guy "colt" swaye, but I agree totally, a post on college game would be great.

Estate's picture

Hi!
As always, great advice. I really love these articles about changing attitudes towards certain things and setting frames.

Here's my sticking point though, while I "get it" in theory, I sometimes still just run out of the "right" things to say... I know, the magic bullet right? haha.

I was on a date last night and I'll admit it wasn't my best ever. But while I could actually "see" the dynamic of what was going on in terms of setting frames (which I never would have seen before), I still felt a little powerless to change the frame, or know how to with my words without it seeming weird.

I guess my question is... How did YOU learn this? I find myself adopting the mind-sets you lay out here but sometimes I still revert to my old self in the words I say. Is there any other reading or material you might recommend to translate the "mind-sets" I'm learning here into actual words or actions. I'm not loving the idea of learning off a script of material, but fake it 'til you make it I guess, when you're starting out?

Many thanks!

D's picture

Hi, Colt, and the rest of the team at that.

I felt the need to post, particularly on this blog post, as only now have I had a epiphany about half an hour ago about my fear to approaching. I've been reading this site for about 4 months now, practically having read probably every post possible, and I like to think i've got my fundamentals laid down great and can also apply MANY more of the great teachings on this site well (somehow i'm early 20's and i'm regularly sleeping with a hot, late-30 year old, def not complaining).

But I was walking out the gym today and held the door open behind me, who was walking behind me, a perfect 10, blonde, stunning, 20-something girl, on her own. She walked past me acknowledging me for holding the door and I just let her keep walking. Everything i've ever learnt off this site was rushing through my head about direct openers and law of least effort, blah blah blah, but I did nothing. She got in the car two down from me, I just smiled at her, got in my car and drove off, literally banging my head on the steering wheel.

I have just realised, I really need to grow a pair of balls. Perfect opportunity, it's just that those 10's are RARE and i cracked, majorly! I've had perfect day-game success before where I live but I really don't want to lower my standards to break my fear of approach anxiety.

Today, I realised, what have I got to lose? Nothing... What do I want to gain with my life? A ton more... What am I going to do later? Go back out and improve my life, because those chances when they come are rare, If i just sit here cooking casserole all day I'm never gonna get far... :P

Slowly i'm getting there, I feel the next chance will be great... Thanks for all you guys do!

Trilogy's picture

Great article Colt, you really nailed it with the challenges we face. My biggest hurdle was being able to look at myself objectively. There were some things about myself and my situation that I didn't want to deal with.

Realization and acceptance came slowly over a period of time, but I was committed to a positive transformation rather than the continuing downward spiral I was caught up in. There's still plenty of challenges to undertake and with the modest amount of success I've had thus far, I find myself actually looking forward facing and overcoming them.

In my experience life is about change, it can't be stopped or avoided but I believe it can be guided to reap the best possible results from any situation.

Keep moving forward.

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