You see a really cute girl in a bar/club, on the bus, or even on the street. There’s some really greasy guy all over her, and you can tell she’s really uncomfortable and wants nothing to do with him. “I’m a good guy. If only I could go over her and have her meet a guy who’s actually quality”, you think to yourself.
But you’re not sure what to do. You don’t want to make the situation worse by introducing another guy into the scenario and potentially have things blow up in your face. Yet, you also know that it could go well... if you got this creepy guy out of the picture and were able to save the girl.
Today I’m going to show you why I see the opportunity to save a girl
one of the greatest and most fun opportunities for seduction. I’m going
to show how to be suave, playful and will teach you to never doubt
yourself when you have the opportunity to save a girl from a creepy
Being the hero and saving a girl does a lot of positive things for you in the eyes of your girl before you even open your mouth to address her. It:
Rids her of an aggressive, creepy or potentially dangerous guy (which she may have not been able to do alone)
It has you come off as dominant, socially adroit, and completely in-control
It makes her instantly invest in you
It creates a memorable, bonding experience between the two of you
It becomes a strong anchoring point that she will reference to you, her friends, and any other important people in her life.
Not long ago, I was out at a bar during one of my nights out alone. I was feeling pretty good; the energy in the bar was high, and my social momentum was already up and running... I had been talking to pretty much everyone.
As I was walking around the bar and projecting my presence and seeing the room, I saw a stunning brunette who was passing out shot samples to patrons at the bar. Everyone was enjoying their free drinks, but I could tell that she was having a terrible time.
Something about her just communicated that she wasn’t the kind of girl who should’ve been working at a bar. It was clear that she was just going through the motions, and probably just picked up a gig where she could take advantage of her looks and earn a little extra cash.
She approached a pair of guys standing near the back of the bar – a very tall and large black guy, with an equally large white guy – and offered them a drink. They accepted the shots. But then they began running their hands all over her breasts and butt, and yanked her toward them by her arm and chin.
Even for someone who encourages firmness and persistence in seduction, this entire display was very uncomfortable to watch. It actually reminded me of Brazilian hunting – but Brazil’s the only place where it would have been even remotely appropriate. She wanted to resist, but it seemed like she was paralyzed by how imposing and large these men were.
So I decided to take action. At that moment there was a bouncer walking by, and I stopped him and asked what the name of the girl giving out samples was.
Identify the Right Situations
Before you can set yourself up to save a girl, you have to be able to identify the situations where it’s appropriate. I’ve seen plenty of guys who have tried to “save a girl” during a situation in which she is perfectly happy, and just simply embarrass themselves.
This is because if you misidentify a situation:
You’re putting yourself up directly against a man she is interested in. So unless you have superior game or a superior frame to him, one or both of them will throw you under the bus
- You’ll come off as a white knight, socially awkward, or even creepy yourself
So how do you know when it’s the right time to try and save a girl?
Option 1: Always Have a Stronger Frame
Some men, despite the fact that they are dominant, liked and have good fashion, simply have little to no social awareness or social perception skills. It’s these men who should primarily focus on always having a stronger frame.
And in terms of both of the options that I will lay out, this one is the more ideal because it won’t matter what the situation is. What that means is, if you have a superior frame, it doesn’t matter whether or not the girl actually needs “saving” because you’ll come off from the frame that you’re the prize: you are providing her the privilege of meeting you. So no matter what the situation, you are saving her from whichever inferior guy is trying to seduce her.
If you want to learn to have a stronger frame, you must first and foremost never come off as a creepy guy. If you ever have girls tell you that you’re creepy or that you “come on too strong,” then you need to turn down the intensity and learn how you’re coming off to women.
To learn how to not be creepy, you should read Chase’s post: “How to Not be the Creepy Guy.” It’s a great primer on how to come off as confident rather than creepy.
Coming from a stronger frame on the next level involves having full confidence in yourself. It comes from an unshakeable belief that you are the best option for a woman in any situation. The only way to get this unshakeable frame is to approach seduction from a perspective of the desire for mastery. Some guys read this site and only implement the things we write about here and there – and there’s no problem with that – but dabbling is no way to get a consistently stronger frame.
Getting a stronger frame involves taking everything on this site, and pushing it to the highest level:
Having phenomenal fashion all of the time
Always having a stylish haircut and sharp facial hair
Approaching tons of women: dozens and dozens more than most guys would dream of approaching
Truly examining yourself and learning to overcome your fears
Learning the mechanics to outframe anyone
Only when you become the best option (or at least are on the way to doing so) can you approach a girl who is talking to a guy and know that you are a superior option. When you do so, you don’t have to worry about her being in distress.
Option 2: Learn the Signs
This option requires a small amount of social perception. But if you’ve seen men and women interact at least somewhat you should be fine. The signs are usually pretty clear-cut in most cases.
Signs she doesn’t need saving:
- She’s laughing and smiling with a guy
- She’s touching him
- She’s relaxed and has open body language
- She has focused eye contact and attention on him
- The guy just seems generally likable or suave
Signs she does need saving:
- She is looking around and fidgeting
- She is retreating from the guy when he moves in closer
- She is pushing him away
- If she’s in earshot, she’s talking about how she has a boyfriend, needs to go to the bathroom, or needs to find her friend
- She has crossed arms or other signs of closed body language
- She’s turned away and trying to ignore him but he’s still persistent
- The guy socially unaware and is talking her to her abrasively
- He’s a loud, false alpha male
- He just has that air of awkwardness and “sketchiness” that any classy man can identify
These are all pretty clear signs that differentiate the times when it’s right to go and save a girl from a creepy guy, versus when she’s talking to confident guy whom you would only have to compete with.
After I found out what the sample girl’s name was, I approached her and the two men. As I approached, I could hear both of the guys crudely telling her all of the sexual things that they wanted to do with her.
I walked in between the guys and the girl, and I placed my arm around her.
Me: “Maddie! It’s so good to see you. I’m sorry it took me so long to get here.”
Guy #1: “Oh. Do you know this girl. Cuz we were kinda talking to her.”
Me: “Hmm. If by know her you mean that she is my girlfriend…then yes you could say that I know her” [I said with a sly, confident smile].
Her: [Throwing her arms around me] “Yup, this is my boyfriend. Sorry to disappoint, boys.”
Me: “Let’s get out of here babe.”
I then led her away, and she looked at me with a bright and beaming smile spread across her face.
Her: “How do you know my name? Do I know you?”
Me: “Hah, don’t worry about it. Just know that my name is Colt, and you should remember that.”
Her: “I definitely will! I have to get back to work, but it was really nice meeting you. Thanks again for that. I’ll see you around.”
Me: “Maddie, hold on a sec. You seem like a really interesting girl. And you could continue your night by working a job that you clearly hate, with nothing to look forward to… or you could give me your number and look forward to hanging out with me.”
Her: “Haha, I’m not supposed to give my number out at work…”
Me: “Well, we’ll never see each other again if you don’t. And I think that would be a tragedy. Don’t you?”
Her: “Haha… okay; only because you just saved me! Here it is.”
Me: “Fantastic. I look forward to seeing you later.”
Her: “Same here. See you soon Colt!”
I saw her soon after, and she had already told all of her friends about how we had met each other. Her friends were all excited to meet me, and after a fantastic night of learning that her mind was as high-level as her looks, she soon became an important person in my life.
And this is one of the many times that I’ve saved a girl from a creepy guy. And the fun part is that I know there is almost no way that it’s not going to work out when I separate a girl from an overzealous, shady guy.
So how do you do it? Here are the steps…
Step 1: Spot a Girl Who Needs Saving
This step is pretty straightforward and was covered in detail in the previous section.
Step 2: Approach Confidently as Her Significant Other
The thing about creepy guys is that they are not easily deterred. They have no sense of social calibration or social shame, so they will be skeptical of guys “claiming” to be a girl’s boyfriend and just assume that the guy is just some white knight.
That’s why you must approach confidently. You must absolutely own the role of her boyfriend or significant other. If a guy were hitting on your girl, would you walk over and have your hands in your pockets and timidly ask if everything is okay?
No. You’d walk over with gusto and tell the guy to get the heck away from your girl. Or, you would just pull her away and give him a sly, confident smile that says: “Nice try.”
If you confidently approach her, and you already have strong fundamentals, you open the door for a positive reaction on her end.
Step 3: Tell Her That You’re Happy You Found Her
As you approach, smile and tell her that you’re happy you found her in some way or another. And make sure you say this loud enough so that the creepy suitor gets the message.
“Sarah, there you are! I thought I lost you for a second there.”
“Jasmine, sorry it took me so long to get here, I got held up with traffic. How’s your night been so far?”
Step 4: Put Your Arm Around Her Shoulder or Waist
With your confident approach and solid frame, you communicate your dominance and control to both her and the creepy guy by using the power of body language and touch. Use strong nonverbals and put your arm around her shoulder or waist.
As you tell her that you’re happy you found her (or immediately after), make sure you use this arm move, or at least grab her hand.
Step 5: Tell the Creepy Guy that You’re the Boyfriend
Maintain strong eye contact, and tell the creepy guy that you’re the girl’s boyfriend. How you communicate this is up to you. You can say:
“Sorry man, this girl is taken. Have a good night though.”
“Hope you’ve had fun keeping her company. We’ll see you later.”
Or anything else that communicates this clear message
Step 6: Pull Her Away and Engage Her
Now it’s time to lead her away and reap the benefits of your efforts.
You can say things like:
“Wow, that was weird. Hi, I’m Colt. You are?”
“Don’t worry. You can thank me later. What’s your name?”
She will very likely thank you - and she will be very receptive to your advances.
Alternative: Keep Role Playing
There’s a simple fact about females: women love role-playing. They love being part of an exclusive experience that only involves them and another person, and allows them to step out of their normal life routine.
So, a great way to up the connection with a girl is to continue the boyfriend/girlfriend role. Say things like:
“So honey, where are we headed?” or “Babe, I’m so happy we’re finally alone. Where should we go on that vacation we’ve been talking about?”
And in the case where the girl keeps getting hit on by various guys, if she’s invested in you: she will keep playing into the frame.
I had a girl a couple of weeks ago whom I saved from a very creepy guy who was hitting on her in a club. I went through the process that I just outlined, and pulled her in at the end and said “You’re my girl” in the sexiest voice I could possibly muster up. And she absolutely loved it.
Since she was an especially attractive girl, six or seven more guys must’ve hit on her throughout the night.
And every single time a guy hit on her, she pointed at me or called me over and told the guy that I was her boyfriend. And in the vein of preselection, every time that a girl tried to flirt with me, she would come over and stonewall the girl.
Role playing can be a very powerful to up attraction and create an “us vs. them” mentality with the girl.
Saving a girl can be a really fun way to pull off a seduction in a new way, and it’s a great way to create instant attraction and investment with a girl – no matter how good looking she may be.
That makes this one of the rare times I can say: go be her knight in shining armor.