Secrets to Getting Girls: Better Than Jerk | Girls Chase

Secrets to Getting Girls: Better Than Jerk

Some guys are just jerks. And they’re fine with that. They think it’s the right way to get girls – it’s far better than being a nice guy, they’ll tell you. And who can argue with that? Nice guys finish last.

Me? I almost lost the most amazing woman of my life thus far before I ever got her because I was a jerk.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

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Comments

Thesecond's picture

In my experience, jerks get better results with women. They may turn off some women as you did and be annoying in polite society but there's a large subset of women who absolutely adore them.

Jerk alpha> kind alpha in terms of getting pussy.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Howdy Second,

Might be you just met objectively stronger / more dominant jerks than you did kind guys? A woman'll go for the stronger guy, all other things being equal, and what you see is that the strongest warm-hearted guys tend to thrash the strongest jerks at the upper echelons.

Can be tough to find legitimately genuine, cool guys who are also really strong guys, but the combination tends to decimate the jerks.

Example: where I went to school about 5 1/2 years ago, I happened to know two really jacked, tall linebackers for the school football team. One of the guys was a complete dick, and the other guy was pretty genuinely warm with people, though still with an air of strength and aloofness and intimidation around him. Whenever I'd run into these guys in the nightclub, the guy who was a dick would always be busy being a dick to everyone, and he'd usually be by himself (occasionally he'd have an okay-looking gal with him). The guy who was genuinely cool though would usually have somewhere between one and three stunning women on his arm, and he'd still smile and greet you and everybody he knew who was coming around and be cool and chat with you for a few minutes, before going about his business.

Anyway, when you think of "kind alpha," don't think of a guy who's kind of strong but kind of a pushover. Think instead of George Clooney, Sean Connery, etc. Genuine, warm, but still strong, charismatic, vaguely intimidating, things of that nature.

Best,
Chase

Anonymous's picture

I would go further - I would say that being a jerk, while stronger than being nice, is weaker than being a strong nice guy because NEEDING to *show off* carries with it a whiff of weakness in that you need others reactions.

Thats why you see jerks with the pretty but not great girls but never with the hottest girls. Sure, they are stronger than nice guys, but they are still kind of weak compared to the upper limits, so they never do that well.

But for guys who are genuinely weak and are terrified of reverting to their super-weak days of being a nice guy, they just cant see past jerk. Thats why youll see lots of ppl defending the jerk model.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey Anon-

This is a great insight; I hadn't actually thought of it like that, but that's the conclusion that naturally stems from looking at jerk behavior, yeah. The guys who're being jerks are doing it because they're putting on a song and dance routine for anyone who's paying attention: "Hey, look how badass I am!" they seem to say.

Shrewd observation, brother.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Hi Chase,

I been reading your blogs on/off for the past year. The one thing I noticed in some of your articles is that you do a really good job at prefacing your argument, providing examples, but at times I feel you don't finish your thought. This could possibly be a time constraint.

In this example, you presented your argument in a very logical manner. We would all agree that being a nice guy gets you nowhere, and a jerk is the polar opposite.

However, you basically told us the traits and attributes of a jerk that you shouldn't do, but you haven't highlighted the jerk qualities that should be kept.

It's very difficult for someone who doesn't always read all your articles to understand the full point you are trying to make. By the time they click the embedded links you're using for search engine optimization, your initial point could be lost already from reading all the other related articles.

We know what a nice guy is, what a jerk is, but after reading the article I can't say for sure I understand what a genuine guy entails.

James's picture

I was lead here by a series of links from another article. given your intent focus on minimal effort/ maximal efficiency throughout the site, I was wondering what lead you to make the herculean effort to turn things around with the girl mentioned at the start of the article. I would imagine you'd tell most of us not to do the same if we emailed for advice.

Not knowing the outcome, would you do it again?

Anonymous's picture

Is a genuine guy described in the How to be a Gentleman article or is the concept different?

Anonymous's picture

Trying.. so hard.. not to be a loud, pompous, self-absorbed asshole in group situations. I just can tell it makes people laugh and actually relaxes the situation when there are a lot of men who are too timid to talk. What is an alternative for a genuine man? Trying to get one of those shy dudes to speak up by asking him about himself? Just ignoring the group and deep diving with a woman at the table? This is a daily lunchroom issue.

Michael (from the boards)'s picture

Wish I could like this comment.

Michael (from the boards)'s picture

If the signature traits of the jerk are Inconsiderateness, Posturing, and Coldness; what are the signature traits of the genuine guy?

davidsto's picture

I think you got the right problem but understood it the wrong way.

My theory is that a jerk is successful because he's stinking confidence. And that a lot of people think they have to be a jerk to get girls, where the important thing really is to be confident.

When you're talking about genuine guys, it's just talks about a confident kind of guy who ditched the jerk attitude. Because yeah, you don't need to be a jerk to get girls, you just need to be confident.

You're welcome.

lucifer's picture

Hey Chase,

Good re-reading some of your old stuff :).

I was wondering two things:

1. THE JERKISH MOVE
yes, outlining what was "that jerkish thing" you had done might be irrelevant in the greater scheme of things, but still it would help people learn what a classical "jerk" action would be;

2.GROWING WITH THE AMAZING WOMAN
I know it's offtopic, but when I read you grew so much with that girl I can't help but becoming so curious: how can a woman help you so much that you couldn't have done by yourself?

Kasamani's picture

It all boils down to time, as a jerk you realise that you get women faster. It takes time to establish yourself as a genuine man. And it limits you as you can't get away with as many things. It limits your power. I call for being a jerk majorly and a genuine guy in new or foreign social circles for good first impressions. So that people have the ability to know the warmth you offer. And the power of touch. Everybody craves touch. A touch on the Shoulder as you shake someone's hand just builds subtle powerful connections
connections. I believe in order to be powerful you have to be formless. Having the ability to adapt with every situation. But then again that concept my be too complex for newbies. One needs to experience everything first.

John Fornaro's picture

I saw a few comments above, about losing one's train of thought navigating from one link to another. My technique is to use the 'back' button almost exclusively.

What this means is that I'll go 'forward' at the most three links. I read each successive article in full, then hit the 'back' button to finish the earlier article. This helps to keep the train of thought from getting derailed.

You just can't read them all in one session! I've noticed that in subsequent reading sessions, that I've already read some of the previous links. Which I think points to some learning going on in my brain.

The way these articles are linked together is masterfully done. It's really intuitive, and each article stays on topic, with each sidetrack contextually related to the main article.

Anyhow, I just felt nerdy (not needy) and had to share!

Dimitris's picture

Inconsiderateness
Posturing
Coldness

OH MY GOD! I'M A JERK!

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