Says She Has a Boyfriend? Here's Why It Doesn't Matter
Saturday, 22 September 2012
My girl looked at me with a devilish smile and said: “I can’t make it on Thursday... I’m already going on a date then… with your best friend.”
She was obviously completely off her rocker.
Like most strippers, if we’re honest.
Seriously… where do I FIND these girls?
The answer, in her case, was probably not what you’d expect… I had met her at the mall, and I had picked her up during the day.
You see, one of the things about day game or transit game or any
other form of “any-woman-anywhere-pickup” is that
it’s like a box of chocolates… you never know what you’re going to get.
One girl’s single, one says she has a
boyfriend… and the next one just throws you curve balls like this.
During the day, you’ll meet the sexy librarian whom you can have a truly interesting conversation with after sex… the girl that knows what “confabulation” is and never sets foot in a club.
She is off-limits to all the guys who have never built the confidence to approach girls without alcohol… I have those ladies all to myself. (Though the more I keep blogging, the more I’ll have to share them with you! ;) )
But you also meet the crazy, nymphomaniac club girls during the day… and pole dancers that are completely insatiable sexually and that will keep waking you up all night urging you to do it a sixth time please!
I’ll tell you more about this girl in a minute, and why she told me that she was going on a date with my friend… but first, let me introduce you to this new article series, by talking about the kinds of crazy things you’ll run into when you’re out meeting women, and why you shouldn’t put much stock in what women say one way or the other about whether they have a boyfriend or not.
It doesn’t always mean what you think it does… chicks
aren’t angels, you know.
Boots on the Ground
It has been almost a year since I started working with Chase, and if
you combined Chase’s Mastery Package with
our post archive
here, you’d be able to get yourself a pretty solid
foundation for seduction.
From there, it’s merely a matter of putting it into practice and getting feedback on the specific situations you run into and ironing out the kinks in your game that hold you back personally.
However, I do know that to many people, it is still a complete mystery what being a seducer is ACTUALLY like in the real world. Without any positive marketing hype and without any negative media distortion by feminist journalists.
Just the brutal, honest truth… a day in the life.
And for that reason, I’m starting a real-world series about some of the actual experiences I’ve had. I will tell you about girls I met and challenges I faced. I will tell you about glory and failure – because no one wins every time.
In one word – I will paint you a realistic picture of the life you can have once you get good at this stuff.
Names and places will be changed to “protect the guilty”… but factual accuracy will remain intact in all cases without embellishments. And I will make sure there are lessons to be taken away from each article that you can apply TODAY to improve your love life… and your sex life.
So let’s get back to the crazy pole dancer I mentioned above… and, before we get to what to do when she says she has a boyfriend, I want to go back first to a topic that I get a lot of questions about: typical success ratios of a good seducer.
What is a good ratio? How many girls should you be able to hook up with, once you have your game down?
There is no simple answer to this question, mostly because it is a very multi-facetted topic. I’ll give you a few examples:
- If you have enough time, you can
win the heart
of almost any woman.
I’d even go so far as to say that 90% of the women you meet you can
eventually land if you work at it hard enough and long enough. So long
as she is still talking to you and you
haven’t made such a big mistake that she won’t even pick up your calls
anymore, women can be wooed over time.
That said, this is usually a very poor use of your resources, because in the same amount of hours it takes to crack one girl for whom that initial attraction has expired and who’s now making it hard on you to get together with her, you could easily meet and seduce TEN other women like her (not even ten totally different women, but ten similar women) who happen to be more into it from the get go.
Don’t make Uncle Pareto spin in his grave… I imagine it’s already round as a cylinder as it is!
What’s more, you need to be very experienced with women to pull this off… if you’re just starting out and there’s one specific girl you have in mind, this probably won’t work.
You may need to cut your teeth on several hundred or, ideally, several thousand other women first in order to develop the level of skill where you can really get almost any girl you come into contact with, given enough time.
So let’s disregard this 90% figure for the purpose of this discussion.
If you’re exceptionally good looking, your ratio will be unnaturally high as well. A friend of mine who looks like a male GQ model, and one that I mentioned in my five-part article about “How to Pick Up Girls,” learned seduction from me a couple of years ago and likes to use my technique of asking girls if they’re single as an opener.
And 90% of girls he approaches say yes!
You KNOW that at least HALF of them are lying!
Finally, even outside of the two extremes we just discussed, the answer still greatly depends on a lot of factors. The better the weather, the more open people will usually be. The more free time girls have, the easier it will be to draw them into a conversation. The friendlier the environment, the more approachable you’ll find girls to be.
In other words, your success ratio of approaching women in a rushed, seedy train station on a rainy Tuesday morning will be a heck of a lot lower than when you’re chatting up girls on a sunny Saturday afternoon at a street festival.
So not only do most single girls respond well to his advances… but even girls that are taken hide the fact because they enjoy the chance to flirt with a man as handsome and as charismatic as him. We don’t all have genes like that, so let’s disregard this 90% answer as well.
When She Says She Has a Boyfriend
In the case of the pole dancer we talked about above, it was a weekend when I met her, it was a sunny day and we were at the mall. I was out with a friend that day… I like to chat up girls on my own, I never take “wingmen” with me for the actual approach… but it’s nice to have company as you’re walking around, looking for girls you might want to meet.
On Saturday of that week, it was one of those days where nearly every girl you meet says she has a boyfriend. Not many dating coaches will want to admit that, but you’re going to have days like that. It’s simply the law of averages.
But what does it really mean when you talk to a girl and she says she’s taken?
In fact, it doesn’t always mean a girl has a boyfriend. Sometimes it does… but sometimes it doesn’t.
As so many times, the answer is that it depends… and with practice, you will be able to read from her body language exactly what you should make of her answer.
If she says she has a boyfriend and then quickly brushes you off, then it doesn’t even matter whether her statement is true or not. The bottom line is she’s saying it to get rid of you. It might be that you made a mistake… maybe your vibe was off, or you said the wrong thing… or maybe your fashion needs fixing. Or she might simply not be interested for whatever reason… that’s possible too.
If she stops with a big smile and starts twirling her hair, if she’s hesitant to even mention her boyfriend and clearly regrets that she can’t tell you she’s single, then chances are you did the right thing to the right girl at the wrong time. Some women are simply in a happy, committed relationship – and they’re not looking.
And since women will sometimes tell you that they have a boyfriend when they don’t, and at other times tell you that they’re single when they’re not, the best advice is to completely disregard anything she has to say about the topic.
Read her body language instead … the information will be at least ten times more useful, and with some practice you will become almost psychic.
It got to a point where I would approach girls and then tell them their relationship status… they hadn’t even mentioned it, their jaws would drop and they’d ask me how I knew.
But psychic abilities have very little to do with it. Once you’ve been in a certain situation several hundred times, you start to see patterns… and that’s why we send our students out to do extensive drills and exercises.
It hones your intuition - which is really nothing more than your unconscious mind’s processing of patterns you’ve seen again and again - to superhuman levels.
Sunday, Fun Day
Just like the law of averages may seem to work against you on some days, it will almost appear to hand you success on a silver platter on other days. The next day, Sunday, I was back at the mall, and this time I got onto a real roll.
I approached eight girls and got the contact information of five of them… one of which I got such a good vibe with that we immediately went to grab some ice cream together. (Not something I usually do anymore these days, but it’s worth experimenting with all kinds of different ideas… the rule is: try ANYTHING if it will teach you a lesson.)
The weather was better on Sunday, I was better rested and the girls I approached were in a better mood as well.
And then, I did my last approach… and it was my best one.
Your best approach of the day is often your last one, even if it is also your first… because you only need one really good interaction.
At any one time, you’re only ONE GOOD PICKUP away from hooking up with your dream girl!
Tell me if you can relate to this… have you ever had a day where nothing went right, and every girl you approached seemed to either be taken or not interested? Maybe like the Saturday I described above…
Well, the next time you find yourself in that kind of situation… KEEP GOING! Just remember what I wrote above: you only need ONE good interaction to make it all worth your while.
I can’t count the times a day started poorly, but rather than giving in to the urge to go home and do something else, I simply talked to one more girl… knowing that she might be the one I’d spend the night with tonight.
And more often than not, you end up finding that one eventually… if you just stick with it.
I’m sure you’re starting to connect the dots by now… yup, the last girl I approached that day was the one I’d end up taking home. She was the pole dancer I mentioned above… the same one who told me she had a date with my best friend.
But what does a “best approach” really look like?
Everything goes perfectly, right?
Well, not exactly.
This “best approach” was still kind of bumpy… she gave me a strange look and asked me two weird questions after I approached her.
In fact, I often see how students get derailed by those kinds of questions… even many intermediate seducers would think she’s being testy and difficult and that they would have to “deal with that” in some way.
She was simply confused (as she revealed to me after we had sex for the first time).
You see… women don’t really expect to get approached doing the day.
That’s one of the biggest reasons why a woman will act off. It’s one
of the primary reasons why she seems on-guard. It may very well be why
she says she has a boyfriend.
Most guys don’t have the confidence to get to meeting girls during
the daytime… at least not without some
alcohol in their system and some wingmen to hoot and holler with for a
while to get their courage up first. And for that reason, most girls
aren’t used to it happening.
And this is another takeaway for today: when an approach doesn’t go 100% smoothly, keep in mind that she may simply be overwhelmed with an unexpected situation.
Not bitchy… confused.
Treat it as such, stay calm and just keep talking to her… and the vibe will quickly ease up and go from awkward to normal to personal to flirtatious within a mere two minutes.
False Negative Signals
This is such a huge lesson… guys often take something as a sign of disinterest that doesn’t even have anything to do with her interest level in the first place.
Especially if you grew up not getting a lot of female attention and you’re learning dating science to make up for all the experience you missed out on when you were younger, it is likely that your perception is somewhat distorted.
And just like guys who get laid at the age of 13 automatically build up a magnetic over-confidence and misinterpret anything women say to mean “she wants me,” most men who were virgins until pretty late in life often (wrongly) misinterpret things negatively.
Just another case in point – I messaged the girl from this report that evening, and got no reply. Not the same day, and not the next.
Two days later I tried to call her, but it went to voice mail and she didn’t call back.
At this point, most guys would assume that she’s not interested… and in many cases, try to win her over by sending her even more text messages that are even more clever and funny and witty.
Only a few hours later, this girl called me back… she had simply been out of prepaid credit for her phone and hadn’t found time to top up.
But if I had tried to throw a bunch of gimmicks at her, in order to win her over when there wasn’t even any need for such things, then my perception that she may have lost interest WOULD have turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy…
…and all the gamey behavior would certainly have put her off.
So simply assume she likes you, and if you’re not sure what to make of a situation, assume that she’s doing whatever she’s doing because she likes you so much… not because she lost interest.
Whether you’re right in that assumption or not, it is always a more useful frame to come from and it will always make your mind come up with better responses to anything she might throw at you.
I’ll wrap this up and say that I actually really like “crazy” girls.
This chick was certainly a wild one… I suppose you’d have to be, if you’re going to dance on a stage with no clothes on and have a few dozen guys drool over you.
But if you like open relationships and if you have the dating chops to handle real party girls with a lot of options in men, you’ll find the girls with the craziest lifestyles can often make for the most fun companions.
They are who they are because they have a real thirst for life, after all… for living life to the max, and for enjoying every single last hedonistic minute with as much passion as possible.
They usually have a high sex drive, and a great sense of humor... I told this girl teasingly that she needs to attend her next AA meeting on Thursday, which is when she told me that she can’t make it because she has a date with my best friend at that time…
…and without blinking an eye.
Talk about being quick on her feet!
Your librarian might not make you jealous if you get into a monogamous relationship with her, and she’ll understand what you mean when you talk about “Austrian Economics”… but chances are you’ll have more of a laugh with one of ‘em wild tigers!
When you approach girls during the day, you get a bit of both...
…and that’s why the day is my favorite time to meet women.
Onward and upward,
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