How to Know When Women Like You

women like youYou meet a really cute girl at an event or out on the street. You know right off the bat that she’s the kind of girl who gives you butterflies in your stomach. She smiles at you. You exchange pleasantries. You vaguely reference how the two of you should get together sometime. She giggles and agrees. She gives you her number and says to contact her sometime. The two of you part ways.

You walk away with a foolish grin on your face. You feel great about the interaction. Then suddenly… the feeling starts to wear away. Doubt starts to creep into your mind.

“Wait… did she actually like me or was she just being nice. Does she know that I want to go out with her or does she just expect to meet up to talk about business stuff?”

And then you let those doubts seep into the next interaction you have with her. Maybe you come off a bit too needy when you text her. Maybe you’re too friendly and not sexy enough the next time you see her in person.

And you lose a girl who you could’ve had a great connection with… just because you didn’t know that the girl liked you. You couldn’t be sure of your ability to read the signs and you couldn’t be certain that the girl was attracted.

Has this ever happened to you before? I bet it has.

Sometimes, even when you’re pretty sure that a girl likes you, the lack of certainty can actually prevent you from making something happen. And then you end up frustrated or regretful. Maybe months or years later the girl even tells you that she liked you and was waiting for you to make the right move.

Well, I’m going to show you how to put yourself in the position to make the right move. I’m going to show you all of the things to look for so that you’ll never have to wonder whether or not she actually likes you again.

Learn the Signs

I spotted her from across the room. She was engaged with a large group of girls, but she and another friend kept looking over at me and my wingman. I briefly paused, and with bated breath waited for her to look over once more. This time I locked eyes with her and gave her a sexy smile.

She looked down and grinned, brushing a few strands of her shimmering hair behind her left ear. I told my wingman to go talk to her friend, and I strode over toward her, with purpose in each of my steps. I found myself face-to-face with her, locked into her light blue eyes. I introduced myself. She did the same. Her name was Marianne. She seemed intrigued by my presence, but still cautiously curious as to where things would lead.

Physical Indicators

In order to know when women like you or not, you first have to get a solid foundation, which we’ve covered in a few articles that I’ll reference below. You should become a master of reading her body language and deciding in less than thirty seconds if she’s giving you the signs of attraction. The signs that you need to look for are:

  • Playing with her hair. This is something that Chase covers in Signs She Likes You – a good corollary article on the more physical side of things you should look for when a girl is attracted to you. But playing with her hair is definitely a telltale sign that a girl is attracted to you. She’ll start twirling it in her fingers or running her hands through it like she’s brushing a horse’s mane.

    Girls do this subconsciously; if you call her on it (which is a funny thing to witness in its own right), she probably won’t even notice that that she’s doing it. So definitely look out for this easy-to-spot sign.

  • Looking down. There’s another great piece on this site about looking down and why you shouldn’t do it if you’re a man. Nowadays, I can pretty much tell if a girl is worth approaching based on what her eyes do. It’s actually quite interesting to see how few people in the world make a concerted effort to lock eyes with strangers. I once read that eye contact is never accidental, and I think that’s true. Eye contact can be very uncomfortable if you don’t know how to use it.

    • If I look at a girl (especially with sexual eyes) and she instantly looks down, I approach.

    • If I look at her and she looks to the side, I look for approach invitations or attraction signs. If I see some, I approach. If I see none, I’ll think about it, and approach (or not) based on my level of social momentum, time constraints, and opportunity.

    • If she looks up, then I don’t even waste my time in trying to approach.

    The reason why I follow these rules is that looking down is a sign of submission and looking to the side is a sign of uncertainty. So if a girl looks down after you gaze upon her, she’s flashing a big sign in front of you saying that she’s already attracted. If she looks to the side, that means that she hasn’t quite made up her mind yet – which is why I look for other signs. Similarly, if she looks up that means that she is dismissing you, which is why I don’t usually pay mind to these girls. But, if you really want to push your limits, try approaching a girl who looks up and see what happens.

  • Dilated Pupils. Dilated pupils are another clear sign of attraction. The pupils always dilate when we see something that we desire. If you look at a girl’s eyes and her pupils are larger (sometimes called “anime eyes” or “doggie dinner eyes”), keeping in mind that you’re not in a super dark room and she’s not on drugs, chances are she has a good deal of attraction for you. And dilated pupils are another response that she can’t control.

  • Watch Her Feet. People’s feet – whether they like it or not – are always pointed toward their area of focus. If someone wants to leave a situation, their feet will always be pointed toward the exit. If they want to invest in a person, their feet will be pointed squarely at them. So if a girl’s feet (and body as a whole) are pointed toward you, take it as a sign of her interest.

  • Staring. This one is pretty overt and obvious, but if a girl is staring at you and you haven’t met her yet, know that she is interested and very likely checking you out. Try to approach staring girls as often as you can. If you have solid fundamentals, it’ll happen more often than you think if you learn to look for it. Approaching girls who have been staring can be some off the more low-pressure approaches you do.

  • Positioning. Sometimes you’ll notice a girl around you who appears to be getting near you for no reason. Maybe she seems to be staring at a map, or lost in her phone, or looking for something. But through her distraction, she’s subtly closing the distance between you and her. This is a girl who is making it easier for you to approach her. She’s positioning herself near you so that you have an opening to say something to her.

    Now keep in mind that she may not do this for very long, so seize the opportunity if it’s presented to you. And don’t worry, she’ll never admit that she was coming near you on purpose. She’ll chalk up your chance meeting to “fate”.

Initial Strong Attraction is Unlikely with Hot Girls

Marianne was clearly the kind of girl who got attention all of the time. How often she got approached sexually was hard to tell (because hot girls get truly hit on surprisingly rarely). But it was easy to tell that she got a lot of attention. Girls were constantly complimenting her dress, and guys may as well have been lining up to do favors for her.

To see this was not that surprising for a hot girl. But I knew that because of this fact she wouldn’t likely be strongly attracted to me right from the outset, even though I was a high value man.

women like you

And this is an important factor to understand as a man. A very hot girl may be warm toward you, or even somewhat attracted, but they won’t likely swoon over you unless you have a combination of looks, rock-solid fundamentals, fashion, and either large amounts of pre-selection or conspicuous consumption.

But that doesn’t mean that you can’t warm her up. Hot girls can get hot and heavy over you just like any other girl, but it may take some warming up. They have to shit-test you a bit to see that you’re a true man. They have to see that your masculinity isn’t just a front and that you can actually handle them. If you can pass that test, she will be putty in your hands.

This is a mistake that a lot of newer guys make. They look for reactions over results. They think that if a girl doesn’t welcome them with open arms and a warm smile that she couldn’t possibly be attracted to them. But the most seasoned men know that a girl is just as likely to act coy as she is to receive you warmly.

And the seasoned man knows that a girl who isn’t attracted to you may act warmly toward you. And that a girl who is feverishly attracted to you may act coldly. That’s why you must look for the telltale signs. She can put up a front, but she can’t fake physical things. And she won’t go along with the things that I will discuss next.

Know When Women Like You: Behaviors

There are some surefire ways to know when women like you that have nothing to do with the way she treats you or acts. You don’t pay attention to what she says, or how she acts, but what she does. All women, regardless of how they may treat you, act in more or less the same way when they are attracted to you.

These are things like:

Compliance and Favors

If you get compliance from a girl – especially multiple forms of it – you can bet your dollars that she’s attracted to you. I’ve had girls who were nasty, girls who were cold, girls who were quiet, and girls who were comically awkward: if I asked them to do something like get me a drink, or take my hand to dance, or tell me a secret about themselves, or follow me to a different location, I knew that they were either attracted or becoming attracted to me.

This certainly was without question. If you get compliance from a girl through her following, her agreeing to her requests, or from her offering to do things for you, you’ve got a girl who’s attracted to you. It’s really shocking that once you get enough reference points as a man with solid fundamentals how often girls actually offer to do things for you. I’ve had girls offer to buy me food, drinks, grab things for me, give me rides, and a whole list of other favors that someone you just met really shouldn’t be offering you.

So pay attention to these signs and take them up on it. You have to reward girls for their positive behavior if they’re giving compliance. That’s why you:

It’s all for the sake of building compliance and building attraction.

Asking About Your Love Life

When a girl asks about your “situation” or if a girl she sees you with is your girlfriend, she is most likely interested in your romantic situation. If she starts asking about the girls of your past – including exes and partner counts – then she is definitely interested in you.

She wants to get a beat on the kind of competition she has and would have in theory. So unless a girl asks about your love life in a “you’re my cute little brother or nice guy friend who never gets girls” way, she is definitely interested in inserting herself into it.

Putting Her Full Name into Your Phone

This is a small one that a friend turned me onto recently that I find surprisingly accurate. Though it doesn’t happen too often, if you hand a girl your phone (and you’re not at some sort of networking event) and she puts her full name into it, that is a small sign of investment and interest.

women like you

She wants to stick out. She wants you to know her. This is not a hard and fast rule, but I’ve found that most girls who I’ve followed up with in adhering to this rule have led to a romantic encounter of some sort.

She Keeps the Interaction Going

Even if the interaction is going south or is getting awkward, she puts in a concerted effort to stick around or to keep it going despite the unpleasant turn. This is definitely a surefire way of knowing that she likes you. Most girls, even if they are on the fence about you, will not hesitate to excuse themselves (or even just hightail it out of there). So a girl who stays is really putting her faith in you and your ability to turn the interaction around.

Being Genuinely Soft and Sweet

If a girl is genuinely kind to you and is investing in your overall well-being, in addition to all the aforementioned signs of attraction, then you can move into the realm of certainty that they like you.

This point is particularly relevant when a girl is cold, shit-testing you, or is generally a hard case. The moment she begins being soft and sweet with you – and it is a glorious moment with these kinds of girls – is the moment you know that you’ve fully won her over.

Ramping Things Up

After a few minutes of lively back and forth, I learned that Marianne had a spirited temperament. She was anything but a submissive woman. She was looking for a strong man who could handle her feminine energy.

I grabbed her by the hand and began to lead her in a bout of salsa. It was at that point that I could tell that she was emotionally invested. She had finally encountered a man who could lead her and who wasn’t intimidated by her beauty or by her feminine wiles.

As we were dancing, I saw a small colorful bag adorned on her waist. I told her it looked like something I once saw in the Philippines. She froze for a moment. She told me that she had just returned from the Philippines a few months prior and that it was one of her favorite places in the world.

I spun her around a couple of times and we glided around the room as she told me some of her favorite stories from her travels. We then discussed some of our favorite books and even some embarrassing moments from our childhoods. Her eyes locked onto mine. My hands began to wander down her hips and thighs and to grip all of her wonderful feminine parts. There wasn’t a single word of protest. Her lips were parted. I knew it was time.

I invited her back to my place nearby, being mindful of my logistics. She said that she would only come if her friend and my wingman would accompany us. Both were happy to oblige. A fulfilling night ensued for everyone in the house that night.

Emotional Hook Point

If you’ve read this site a decent amount or know anything about seduction theory then you’ve probably heard about hook points before. A hook point is when a girl goes from having just friendly or probing conversation with you to becoming actively interested in spending time with you and investing in you.

But I think it’s important to make a distinction between two different kinds of hook points. The emotional hook point and the sexual hook point.

An emotional hook point is when a girl becomes interested enough to find out what you’re about. In Marianne’s case, it was when I confidently took her hand and started dancing with her. It was a move that not many men pull on such an attractive girl, and it caught her attention. Whenever you can “catch a girl’s attention” and break her out of what I call “emotional auto-pilot”, you’ve hit the emotional hook point.

Usually a girl’s voice will start to inflect and her face will light up, and she’ll become actively interested in what you’re saying and doing. This is a good thing to screen for when learning to identify and know when women like you. If you can reach the emotional hook point, you know that things are progressing nicely.

Sexual Hook Point

The sexual hook point happens when a girl starts to mirror your emotions, sees you as a viable sexual option, and gets turned on herself. Usually the sexual hook point occurs because there is a strong point of relation between you and the girl. With Marianne it was my identifying that her bag was from the Philippines. Not many Americans can relate to people who travel extensively, so when I was able to identify where the bag had originated, it generated a cascade of points of relation – and caused her to hit the sexual hook point.

The eyes can also be a great indicator of a sexual hook point (starting to notice a pattern here?). When a girl is ready to kiss you or step up the physicality, she’ll have what I call “alternating eyes.” Alternating eyes happen when you make eye contact with her, and her gaze constantly shifts between each of your eyes. She is quickly trying to find out what you’re going to do next, and it’s a great sign of spiking sexual excitement. If you catch her making alternating eyes at you, then it’s time to act. It’s time to go for the kiss (or even escalate to sex if it’s really on) then and there.

Final Point: Always Assume Attraction

The final point that I’ll end with is to always assume attraction.

women like you

Even if the girl isn’t initially attracted to you, oftentimes the subconscious belief that she is will emanate from you and make her attracted. But more importantly, it helps you communicate your sexy vibe and not overthink the process of getting the girl or placing her on a pedestal.

So next time you see a cute girl, think to yourself: “She wants me. She needs me in her life.”

Wrapping Up

Don’t let doubt sabotage your success ever again. I’ve given you all the tools you need to know when women like you. No more questioning. No more second-guessing. Just process.

Carpe diem,


Colt WilliamsAbout the Author: Colt Williams

Raised in the American Midwest, Colt Williams made a name for himself in dating with a style based on soulful poetic seductions and playful dance floor antics. His style is all about inspiring girls and drawing them into one’s world. You can book phone coaching with him here, or get a copy of his guide to getting laid on Tinder, the product of months of study and experimentation by him on the medium.


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Ray's picture

Really lays everything out for beginners. As I continue to grow through my seduction career, I can see how obvious some of these signs really are. It can take a while to get away from the "well what if she doesn't like me and says no?" mentality. Thinking about being rejected will lead you to doubt that she even liked you in the first place. Next thing you know, you have managed to convince yourself not to move forward at all with the girl! It starts off with a little bit of negative thinking and spirals out of control to the point where you're frozen with fear. Once you learn how to always assume attraction, you will start to see things in a more positive frame of mind.

David Riley's picture

Hey Ray,

I actually embrace rejection because it let's me know right away if a girl is truly interested in me or not. If she truly isn't interested in me, then I can move on to the next girl. It saves tons of time and resources. It's really awesome because it keeps you from overly invested in girls who have no real interest in you. Being direct with women will keep you out of the friend zone. Rejection from a stranger doesn't hurt because you didn't invest anything in her. Now getting rejection from a girl you spent months or years on that's something way worse because it feels more personal. Once guys have truly approached a good number of girls, it seems natural to walk up to them and have a natural conversation.

Take care,

Just Dave

Sam2's picture

Great article!

I would like to add something on your comment on how hot girls treat you. Not only do they not give you strong reactions, as you correctly point out, but they do not give you some flashy kind of investment either.

Once I went on 3-4 dates with a hard-case, hot girl whom I only managed to kiss and touch, but no sex. As I started to lose my nerve with her bitchy behaviour, I decided to drop it and burn bridges with her by saying:
"You know, I think you are actually looking for a friend, not a lover". To which she responded: "I do have a male friend. I don't need another one. But if I wanted one, would I be going out with you?"

This made me think that hard-case, hot girls consider their mere presence to be investment on their parts. So, we, men, need to learn to proceed with them just because they give us the time of the day.

Is she with you on a 1-on-1 date? Ignore her bitchiness and just proceed, guys!

Next Best Thing's picture

Chase, Colt, Franco, Anyone:
Let me begin by saying I'm a huge fan, learned a lot from you guys and this site so thank you! It is because of you guys that i now consider myself to be at the intermediate level (maybe advanced) but now experiencing a whole new set of problems. My main problem right now is maintaining/keeping girls around. I have no problem meeting girls, setting up dates, hooking up, keeping them for a few problem is that doing all of these things with all these girls every time we meet it gets a little exhausting. I'm losing girls because sometimes i don't feel like creating an incredible experience, or don't feel like giving them great sex, or making them feel special! It gets exhausting trying to do that with every girl that sometimes i jus wanna chill out, get my nut, and adios lol i know you guys must understand what I'm sayin, and i can't blame for girls leaving. ... but is this normal? Is there an easier way to keep girls around without providing all of these things or is this the price to be the boss? lol An answer would be greatly appreciated guys, thanks again!
- Your #1 fan

Dilusha's picture

Hey Colt,

A great article as always. But I have something to ask. There is a girl in our IT class. She is the hottest in the class. ( comparatively with other girls in the class) But she never glances at any guy in the class, including me. (Well, Don't know exactly whether she is glancing at other guys or not, but I know for sure she never glanced me, never. Not even accidently. :D) What's her type? How should I approach?

Troy's picture

Colt -

Hello to you sir. Its been a while now since i have commented on your articles. I appreciate this article. Its here right on time. I always wonder how to tell a girl likes me and now i know. Still, what if a girl likes you and everytime you talk to her, she excuses herself, or she doesnt show any signs of interest. Is there a way in conversation to realize that she actually likes you no matter how much she hides it?

I have a article request that i think you are the perfect man to ask to write on. its the topic of "The Gradual Exposure to Improving".

A lot of readers here, especially guys new to seduction will benefit from. Something that i am guilty of in the past is going too far too fast without social calibration. Things like going for the push to get a girl home without knowing how to connect with a girl.

Sometimes it makes sense to push to to save an interaction with a girl, other times it is detrimental. All improvement happens outside a mans comfort zone. Some people push too far too fast and burn out. some dont push and dont improve. Others push just right to improve but not burn out.

Take for example a situation i had one day when i went out to approach some girls. I peacocked my fashion, smelled great and went out. When i arrived at the main town plaza and transport centre, my plan that day was to approach 30 girls without ever going out and even approaching more than 2 girls in a outing. So as you might guess, i was so nervous by then that i had to go take a seat for feelings of fainting in public. Then i had a realization. my expectations were too high as to what i could manage. So right there and then, i decided to lessen my goal. Since i have never went out and had a conversation with more than 2 girls before, i decided to just ask 8 girls for the time. thats it. And to be honest, this felt like i was giving a public speech infront of 1 million people. Anyway, it was more manageable and guess what. In just 1 hour 30 minutes, i managed to ask 14 girls the time. thats almost double my goal. The reason is because i made it manageable. I felt really good to be honest. Something as simple as asking a girl the time was like a nightmare for me. Now my next goal is to approach 8 girls and give them a compliment. It might be small but it helps with my confidence, keeps me motivated, and helps me improve.

I think this is something a lot of guys struggling to improve are doing. They are burning out themselves then giving up and saying this thing was a sham when in reality they pushed miles past their comfort zone.

This might be similar to your article on pushing past your comfort zone, but an interesting one. In fact, it might get some guys in action. Instead of looking to approach 30 girls before you even have the strength to approach 1 girl use the gradual progress procedure:

... All the way to 30 and so on. Colt, could you write an article on this if it interests you in the slighest manner? Thank You



Anonymous's picture

I'm new at this HS and there's this girl who either is a 7 or 8, I don't think she though well of me well until we and two other girls did a video at my house,I used to not pay any attention to her, the first day we did the video she kinda used to give me some cold looks, second day it all changed she started showing different signs she liked me like: twirling with hair, looking at me then down or quickly to the side, she imitated me, said it was ok or fine when part of the video came out bad cause of my nephews. The next when we presented our video to the class she also imitated me one time, she tried getting close to me even when I pulled away, touched her lips and bitted them when she looked at me. Now when I see her in the hallway she tries not looking at me at all.i know she's talked to her friends about me.she now a days ha talked to this guy who approaches her till this past two days. I think she showed A.I. But I didn't do anything about it.i was either too slow to notice or to wimpy.i can't get her out of my head and I've dreamed about her about 5 times in a me know if I should approach her, or forget about her.shes said bad things about me but through her signs it makes me think she likes me and that's probably why I don't approach her.should I forget her or talk to her whenever possible or wait for an A.I. Again.let me know, I need to know what I can do before it's too late or what I shouldn't do to avoid humiliation.i also think she's said something like"ugh I know when he's alone he seems so good ugh me and my feelings" some days ago. I just can't tell how she feels about me.(:

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