In Epic Movie Seductions: Part I, we discussed the movie seduction in the film “Vicky, Cristina, Barcelona”.
In that one, we looked at a smooth, confident approach a man made on two women sitting at a table, and the rock solid frame control he used to hold his own in the face of a defiant woman.
Today we’ll discuss more scenes from Hollywood movies that absolutely NAILED the perfect pickup!
They show a normal guy, approaching a hot girl, in normal, every-day situations… and KILLING it!
Watching these scenes is one of the best ways to learn, because…
Monkey see, monkey do!
Let’s jump right in.
Surely not the first movie that comes to mind for seduction… and the reason is that the one pickup scene is so SIMPLE!
Most guys mistakenly believe that they have to impress women… come up with something really clever to say to them, make them laugh or immediately prove that they are the most interesting man in the world.
Ricky walks up to the two girls and just says “Hi.”
Once he has the girls’ attention, he simply introduces himself.
“My name is Ricky, I just moved next door to you.”
Don’t overcomplicate this!
The girls are thrown off by his approach, and Jane immediately throws a curve ball at him, and calls him creepy for having filmed her the night before… but Ricky isn’t affected in the least.
It’s interesting to see what words Ricky chooses and with how much simplicity he goes about meeting the girl he likes.
Simplicity is the CORE of elegance.
But what’s even more interesting is his nonverbal communication. He’s calm and composed… he holds solid, steady eye contact. He’s also not thrown by Jane’s comment… he simply proceeds and moves the interaction forward by showing his interest more explicitly, with a compliment.
“I didn’t mean to scare you; I just think you’re interesting.”
He doesn’t call her beautiful, like most guys would when they hit on a girl… he calls her interesting.
What does that even MEAN?
You can be sure that she’s wondering… and the curiosity alone will compel her to talk to him more.
However, she’s still on the defense at this point.
Note how this is a common theme! Just like in Vicky, Cristina, Barcelona, the girls show overt disinterest at first.
Don’t let this deter you. It’s perfectly normal… in fact it’s an evolutionarily programmed mechanism. Females need to make sure that the mate they choose is physiologically and psychologically STRONG… otherwise, how is he going to protect their offspring?
In fact, if you watch documentaries on the discovery channel, you will find that in MOST animal species, women ALWAYS resist the male’s advances at first. We’re conditioned by society to take this at face value… but it is really only the first step of the mating dance.
One of the world’s foremost business consultants, Chet Holmes, recommends to always reject every prospect who’s applying for a job. No matter how good the applicant, he will tell them: “I don’t think you have what it takes.”
He doesn’t say that because he actually thinks the applicant isn’t good enough… he says it as a way of FINDING OUT whether that is the case or not.
An employee truly worth his salt will simply not accept this kind of rejection. If you want to hire star talent, it might be necessary to reject applicants at first, just to see if their own self image is one of a star or if they will simply believe you when you tell them they’re not good enough.
Women test men for this exact same psychological strength… they will give a man a hard time at first, just to see if he can take it… or if he will just FOLD.
The Second Test
Jane gives Ricky the second test… is his confidence real? He seems SO MUCH more confident than most other men that Jane’s friend Angela, the blonde, even comments later – “That can’t be real.”
So in order to find out, Jane throws him ANOTHER curve ball – she calls him a psycho, and implies that he’s obsessing over her.
Ricky’s reaction is to… just crack a SMILE!
Which is just about the perfect response in this situation.
It shows that he’s not only unaffected by Jane’s test, he also realizes that it doesn’t mean anything… and least of all does it mean that she’s not interested in him.
What’s more… his smile communicates that he finds her behavior AMUSING! The way you might find it amusing when your five year old niece is trying to tell you off.
Your own status is so much higher than hers that any attempt to dominate you is just… cute.
This is also Ricky’s frame… which sub-communicates massive status, one of THE most attractive traits to women.
While still holding unwavering eye-contact, he says:
“I’m not obsessing… I’m just curious.”
Great choice of words. She’s interesting - he’s curious. He’s not smitten by her, only intrigued. This is a very unique frame to start a romantic or sexual relationship from.
He continues to hold eye contact without saying even another word. Again, the awkwardness of the silence does not affect him… in fact, he PLAYS with it, to further increase the sexual tension.
Most men would start rattling off their mouth to fill the vacuum in this situation, because it makes them uncomfortable. In fact, they think if they don’t keep the conversation going, she will think he’s boring and lose interest in him… so they start talking more than a group of women in menopause at their tea party.
Ricky doesn’t feel the need to do any of that… he simply holds eye contact and remains silent, as he lets the tension build up even FURTHER…
She cannot help but divert her gaze downwards… and look down at the floor.
This is a submissive gesture in ALL mammals, and the nonverbal communication is very clear: Ricky has higher status than Jane in this situation. And as we know, women are attracted to men who have higher status than they do.
Now, that doesn’t mean you should stare women down or creep them out by looking at them all the time… But try to have a calm way about you. Don’t break eye contact out of nervousness… if you break it, do so deliberately. Don’t be afraid of tension, but rather, leverage it.
After this, Ricky… leaves without another word.
Just like Juan Antonio, in the scene we discussed previously, he NAILS his approach by demonstrating that he is not in the least attached to the outcome.
Watch this scene over and over… until you GET somewhere deep in your primal nervous system what’s really happening here.
Then go out and practice approaching girls with this vibe.
Another unlikely movie for dating advice… the protagonist Peter isn’t exactly the world’s greatest Casanova.
He does, however, get hypnotized into being completely carefree… completely unattached to anything that might or might not happen… and this is a very useful headspace to be in when meeting women. This is also one reason why I recommended taking up meditation in previous articles.
Skip about 26 minutes into the movie and watch Peter ask Joanna out on a date... Are you starting to notice a common theme yet in all the movies we’ve been discussing so far?
He is very relaxed and in no rush.
He is neither being overly direct, nor does he disguise his intentions.
He’s not trying to impress her, make her laugh or prove anything. He just walks up to her and says:
Hi. I’m Peter.
After Joanna replies, he just straight up asks her out… but in a way that isn’t a REQUEST… he’s asking a question that he absolutely expects an answer to:
What are you doing for lunch today?
I’m almost hesitating to put a question mark at the end of this sentence, because the tone of his voice actually slants DOWN… it doesn’t sound like a question.
This is a very masculine way of speaking, and it easily goes unnoticed that dominant men often speak like that – even when they’re asking questions – because we get so lost in the content of WHAT is being said that we miss the real communication transmitted by tonality.
One thing that might help is to watch a movie in a foreign language… when you don’t UNDERSTAND any of the words, you are FORCED to interpret the communication much more on the level of nonverbal attraction and focus on things like pace of speech and tonality… which is where sexual communication is REALLY happening (the fourth movie we will be discussing is a foreign movie for this precise reason).
Joanna misinterprets his question completely and assumes he was asking about the menu, tells him about the foods they’re serving and walks away.
Probably the most interesting thing about this part is that she obviously wasn’t attracted to Peter in the beginning… he’s the kind of guy that is just INVISIBLE to women.
Yet… with the right approach, with just the right vibe, even this kind of guy can have a TREMENDOUS impact… even on the most beautiful girl.
Completely unimpressed, both by the failure of his first attempt to ask Joanna out and by the other waiter interrupting him, he goes straight up to Joanna again and asks more explicitly:
I was asking what YOU were doing for lunch. Would you like to have lunch with me?
Notice her reaction… she is STUNNED.
This approach totally threw her off.
And this is what happens in real life when you do this kind of approach… simply because it never happens to women.
90% of guys don’t dare to approach at all… 9.9% of guys approach in a gimmicky way, trying to impress the girl or prove how clever or funny they are (or God forbid, how rich)… and 0.1% of guys have the stones it takes to JUST BE… in the face of a stunning girl.
No emotional reactivity to the girl.
No fidgety, nervous energy.
No pickup lines, no gimmicks or tricks, and no disguised intentions.
Just crystal clear, rock solid and perfectly calm PRESENCE.
That’s the vibe… in all three movies.
Another common theme – Joanna is not going for his offer… she turns him down with an excuse.
Note, however, how her tone of voice has changed. When he first approached her, she was talking to him like to any other customer. Now, there is almost something conspiratorial about her speech.
Completely unfazed, Peter keeps moving forward and elaborates on his offer:
Oh. Okay, well I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’m gonna go next-door and get a table and if you’d like to join me, no big deal, alright.
He’s not begging… he’s not even requesting… he’s simply putting his best offer out there. Just like Juan Antonio did – no subterfuge.
And then, he nails his approach in the exact same way we had already seen in the previous two scenes: by demonstrating that he is COMPLETELY unattached to the outcome.
And if not, that’s cool too.
Do whatever you have to do to SINGE these words into your brain. Tattoo them on the inside of your eye lids. Sing them as a mantra during your meditation.
And I’m not even talking about the verbal surface level communication in these words… I’m talking about the mindset and attitude behind it.
And if not.
That’s cool too.
Repeat after me: “And if not. That’s cool too.”
This sounds like music to a seducer… and it should be your attitude with EVERY approach. EVERY phone call. EVERY text message. EVERY date.
EVEN with every relationship.
Okay, the next bit is a bit tricky. Because DOESN’T mean that you are outcome independent. You definitely have an outcome in mind, and a strong man, by definition, goes after what he wants and he gets it.
However, your outcome isn’t necessarily to be with THIS ONE girl. (Heck, you don’t even really know her yet!)
Your outcome is to have a fulfilled love- and sex-life.
And when it comes to that, you’re not outcome independent… you have your eye on the prize, and if you do everything you’re learning here, you can be SURE that you will achieve this goal.
But when it comes to the next specific girl you’re talking to… you’re completely outcome independent… because you know the magic number.
That’s how many women there are on this planet… so don’t sweat it.
The Movie Seduction in a Nutshell
You can see that each movie seduction follows the same theme:
- A masculine man approaches the woman he desires in a very calm and confident way, without being nervous, without resorting to any gimmicks and without trying to impress them in any way, shape or form… whatsoever.
- The girls resist his advances and turn him down. He realizes that this is just part of the mating dance and doesn’t take it seriously. He stays completely unaffected and continues to take the interaction forward… completely relaxed and chill.
- The girl starts to become curious, and her interest starts to become apparent. At this point, the man takes the interaction to the next level, either with a compliment or a suggestion to do something together, and then…
- He WALKS AWAY and demonstrates that he is completely unattached to the outcome.
Why does this work so well?
- The chill, relaxed approach style works because it demonstrates a great deal of confidence – it may look simple but it’s not as easy to pull off as it may appear.
- And demonstrating that you’re not attached to the outcome of any single interaction is a form of social proof: any man who’s this nonchalant about a girl MUST have other options.
And that's it for now.
Stay tuned next week for the last part of this series on Epic Movie Seductions, and learn a few more tips from some of the best examples of a seduction out there on film.
Onward and upward,
UPDATE: If you enjoyed this post, don't forget to check out the final one in this series, Epic Movie Seductions: Part III.