Does Seduction Only Work on Sluts? | Girls Chase

Does Seduction Only Work on Sluts?

seduction slutsWe recently moderated yet another comment where the comment author (a woman this time, though we get both men and women doing this) weighed in with something like, “I think this only works on women who aren’t as strict about who they sleep with or are more sexually open.”

We get comments like this sometimes.

The non-politically correct way of saying what she just said, of course, is, “This only works on sluts.”

This is a pretty common viewpoint among first-time readers of seduction-related materials, male and female alike. They read it; it grates with their belief systems; and they respond back stating that they’re pretty sure this only works on XYZ category of women that does not include them (or does not include the women that they date or want to date or have a crush on if they’re male).

And they make the statement that, “This only works on sluts,” and feel much better about themselves.

There, says the woman, now everyone knows that *I* am not a slut, and this would never work on *me*.

At last, says the man, someone has set the record straight, and shown these people that women like my precious Esmeralda would NEVER go for a man like this.

Yet, out of the black-and-white polarities of the all-text Internet, the real world is far more nuanced than those who would polarize womankind into “good girls” and “sluts” would have you (and themselves) believe.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

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Comments

Beginner's picture

Hello, this might seem obvious but I have some trouble about reengaging when I already engaged a woman in particular. For instance, if I opened a girl and didn't close; or maybe if I did, coincidentally bumped into her again without warning, then I have no idea what to say or act. Since I already used the opening and known a little about her, it's feels kind of awkward if I reengage her again. But if she sends me signals of wanting to reengage again, I have no idea how to not make it awkward and plain.

David Riley's picture

"How's your *time of day going*?" or "Still having fun" or "What are you doing after this?" These are just simple questions you could ask when you see her and you have time to talk.

You could always do my personal favorite "Hey you" said with a slight smirk running across my face. Sometimes I may even lock eyes before saying anything. Remember things are only awkward if you make them awkward. Women will very rarely walk up to you and reengage you. If they're looking, they want you to come over and say something. Women take the passive role in the mating game. As a result if you want anything to happen you have to be the one who makes things happen.

You can also walk up to her and say, "Let me show you something." Then take her away. ;)

Take care,

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

i wouldn't say that critical people are more easy, but they just stand out more because their behavior calls for attention. what someone says is independent of his/her actions. someone who thinks something won't work on him or a girl being critical of other girls doesn't change his/her "susceptibility." people in general are all susceptible, they just don't know it or have that self image. it doesn't make them easier. you didn't define what it means to be loose or easy or under what circumstances they qualify, but in my experience, girls with less partners and who are more reserved (good girls/structurists) are much more critical. they have higher standards but it doesn't make them any more or less "easy" per se. it's just, like you said, cognitive dissonance. it only reflects on her beliefs.

there is a lot of nice guy hate in this community i'm wondering where it's coming from? perhaps you could first define what is a nice guy and what is "enough" to be considered attractive and what would make someone "more" attractive. are we talking solely about sexual attraction or more? lately i've been seeing some of the most attractive women with nice guys. sure you could argue that the women are using them, will eventually leave them or cheat on them etc., but you can't speculate and the very fact that they choose nice guys over and over again and marry them over bad boys means something doesn't it? some women, and it's usually the most secure women, are attracted to more than a player with social status. wouldn't you agree? it's kind of like the loser who praises his player friend whereas another player wouldn't even care. i never read The Game, but who's to say the girl who dumped him is even a catch? a lot of girls who go for bad boys are bad girls themselves. I'm attracted to bad girls too, but aside from sex would she fulfill my happiness in any other way? probably not.

one thing i have observed is that cougars, whether it be older or more experienced women, seem to have less of a need for dominance. maybe it's because they probably have higher sex drives and therefore are attracted to more men, though?

Black Mystery's picture

Hey Chase,
I have been approaching girls recently keeping in view that I need to stay cool and make them chase me. You mentioned in one of your articles that you come to the situation where you meet her, talk to her and none of you two chase each other then instantly she starts chasing you. You didn't elaborate it much.
As I'm in same condition, I would appreciate an article what exactly makes girls chase a man, call him/text him. I call them they talk interestingly but never call themselves.

Black Mystery

Slash's picture

Hey Chase,

I know it isn't related to this article but I was reading the comments on your article on Madonna/Whore etc and you mentioned in a reply about identity.

I think an article on Identity would be really good. I have achieved a lot of confidence and my rock solid self-assurance from being very comfortable with my identity. Too many people today are not sure what their identity is, or try to have 2 opposing identities such as their day time identity, and their 'pick up' identity.

Related to that, is the importance of diversifying your identity. For example, you are Chase, the self improvement guru, Chase, the pick up artist, Chase, the entrepreneur. You have diverse identities. If someones sole identity is that of a PUA, or a business man, and they start failing in that area of their life, it can lead to a very quick downward spiral.
I think I heard from a Tony Robbins conference about how this really successful investment banker lost a load of his and his friends money, and was considering suicide, and Tony Robbins asked about how his family would cope. It turns out his death would lead to a big life assurance payout for his family. Robbins noted that this man had only one identity: money earner for his family. If he couldn't do that, in his mind, he was useless.

As you can tell, that is a very dangerous mindset. Having more diverse identity means that if you fail in one aspect, you still have good things going in your life. I think if beginner PUA's knew that, they might not give up so early through discouragement.

Let me know what you think?

David Riley's picture

Hey Slash,

Chase has me monitoring comments on the site. I will be sure to let Chase and the authors writers request for that particular article.

In a response to your comment on the banker, I would say its a combination of balance and dealing with pressure. It's important for people to have more an identity and for man they're main identity is their job. When a man fails at his job or loses his job, he's lost that identity. Chase touched on identity here in this article.

http://www.girlschase.com/content/9-male-identities-and-how-they-affect-...

Let me know if this answers your question.

Just Dave

Slash's picture

Hey Dave,

The 9 male identities article is very helpful. I had read it before, but I think I scanned it just to see what the 9 identities are.

However, I do think that if any of the writers on Girls Chase are short on ideas, an article on why everyone should find their identity, and diversify it appropriately would be good, especially for beginners.

As I said in my post, knowing and being comfortable with your identity makes you a much more happy and confident person in the first place. And diversifying your identity allows you to take the pressure off yourself if you're failing in one area, but focusing on an area you do well in. Also, by diversifying your experiences, you're opening yourself up to different people, different ideas, and you're becoming a more rounded and attractive person by having an active life.

I think the diversifying it very important for newbies. Too many people discover 'seduction material' and its a revelation. Then they throw themselves in the deep end, trying to pick up women every night of 2 weeks. They think they will get results immediately, which doesn't often happen. By having other successful things going on in their life, this bad 2 weeks won't seem as bad, and they won't feel as discouraged.

Anyway, I think it would be a nice topic if any of the writers ever get a chance to look at it.

Slash

Anonymous's picture

Yo Chase, is there such a thing as sluts to you(women who lose value with higher partner counts)?

Thnaks

David Riley's picture

Hello Anon,

Chase has me answering comments on website and helping with the questions. I found an article that may very well help answer that question.

http://www.girlschase.com/content/how-many-partners-has-your-girlfriend-...

Let me know if that answers your question.

Just Dave

Danny's picture

Hey Chase i have a question.. you see, i live in a medium size town in Colombia but i still study your material since i lived in london for 13 years and learnt english and ive been cold approaching women for the last 9 months and right now im developing my process and am getting good at going direct and building rapport and bantering and all that, but pulling not so much, ive only successfully done three pulls and cold approached about 200 women or so.. and ive found myself in the situation where i approach a girl and we hit it off REALLY well but then i tell her i have to run then i catch her a few days later or i see them walking on the street around town and preening and giving me eye contact and attraction signals but im not really sure how to go over to them and finish off what i started.. like basically just going over and relight the spark and pull her in the middle of the day to my place or anywhere really.

So i guess my questions is, do i go reapproach her with a direct compliment again?? and go for the pull then and there or ask her for her number and plan a meet up in my house or something, im not really sure but im still chipping away at it anyway, i would appreciate a word of advice here. thanks man...

David Riley's picture

Hey Danny,

The best thing you could do is reengage them. A simple "Hey you" would suffice. From there I see when she's available to meet up. If she's busy or not interested, just tell her you gotta get going. Women will often try to slow you down when you're about to walk away. Tell her you really have to get going but press her for a meet up. You have to treat women with consistency otherwise they'll be really confused about your intentions. They'll think they were either right or wrong about you. So to answer you question you want to go for a pull there and press for a meet up.

Take care,

Just Dave

Dilusha's picture

Hi guys, I have commented many times but you guys never reply to me. So it feels like nobody's helping me. So please, reply at least this comment. I want to know, does the money matter. I'm a middles class man. So, will it cause any problem when it comes to seducing super rich girls? And also I've got another issue. Almost every pretty/beautiful/sexy girl don't even look at me wherever I go. I'm just 19 and a beginner. So many things to learn. Nothing wrong with my appearance. Following all your brilliant articles I've transformed myself into a sexy man. But still this happens. I'don't know what's wrong. Please reply.

David Riley's picture

Hey Dilusha,

Chase has me helping out with the comments here since a lot of people's comments like yourself have gone unanswered. I would money matters in situations if you want to take a girl out and what role you're trying to fill in her life. With that said, it all comes down to your fundamentals. You have to approach girls who want to be approach. I would recommend reading Chase latest article on using eye contact to your advantage.

http://www.girlschase.com/content/how-check-out-girl-openly-and-turn-her

There are many small things to consider when talk to certain groups of him. I would also recommend using preselection to your advantage as well.

Take care,

Just Dave

blogster's picture

"These experience differentials exist because the more experienced you get, the more experience you accumulate creating the right situations and emotions for intimacy that less experienced women find positively intoxicating, and the more easily you learn to deflect their efforts to resist or slow things down.

Faced with the inexperienced woman’s protestations, the inexperienced man crumbles, uncertain what to say. She sees this weakness in him and loses all interest, and he’s blown it with her"

I was drawn to these sentences in particular. If you could sum up WHAT is the seduction process, would it be essentially this - escalating, building attraction and overcoming their tendency to slow down the process? I struggle 'getting' this because it seems so contradictory? Can you perhaps sum it up and explain this internal process going on in a woman during seduction? For me the confusing thing is a woman appearing to feel desire whilst simultaneously slowing things down? Can you comment on this and the apparent contradictory nature of it, including why? This would assist my mental state when facing such situations.

David Riley's picture

Hey Blogster,

When a girl starts slowing things down with you, and she's actually still attracted to you its because of Anti-Slut Defense. Which is a girl basically saying, "I don't want to seem easy, and make this guy lost respect for me." I've come across this many times.

Example - ASD

Girl: I don't have sex before getting into a relationship.

Me: I don't see anything wrong with women who love and enjoy having sex. I think it's one of the sexiest things a woman can do. I love when women take charge of their own sexuality.

What I did in the example above was let a girl know that just because she has sex with me on the first night doesn't make her a slut. On the contrary, I told her I approve of girls who love to have sex and go for it. Girls will slow things down for you also because they want a relationship with you.

Me: Are you single?
Girl: Girl, no how about you?
Me: I'm too busy for a relationships.
Girl: Why do you say that?
Me: My lifestyle is too demanding with projects I'm trying to do, I don't have the time to dedicate to a girlfriend right now. Now if I meet a girl who's fun and adventurous, I'll hang out with her now and then and attempt to make more time for her.

Basically in that example I'm communicating with the girl that I'm not interested in a serious relationship, I'm only making time for girls who want to have sex with me. If a girl wants to consume my time and not sex, she will not be seeing me.

You'll run into the boyfriend problem when girls see too much potential with you being a great future boyfriend. This is not the way to go because she will slow things down with you, even after you've slept with her. She will try to make you commit before she puts out. I recommend not giving into these types of agreements because it puts too much power into her hand. Now if you really want this girl as a girlfriend, you can go for it. Otherwise make your exit.

Take care,

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

the word manipulation has a bad connotation attached to it, but from everything i've read, it's almost as if one needs to manipulate in order to be successful with women given how complicated they are. it feels dishonest and fake when you're doing it, but sometimes it's only because you're consciously analyzing your actions. what is your perspective on this? naturally it would be ideal to live an attractive lifestyle but there's a difference between active and passive attraction. anything active sometimes feels phony and like i'm putting too much work in (and that I shoudn't be). the girl will likely also sense when you're putting up a front and lose attraction, much in the same way I would if i knew a girl was intentionally ignoring my calls or playing hard to get. it works when it works but it doesn't when it doesn't. there's no way be right every time and while it's important to be your most attractive self, at what point does this start having negative effects (like being insecure, overanalyzing, putting too much effort and being completely relaxed/accepting yourself)?

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

Basically what you described is first hand why people fear seducers and PUA's. The reason seducers can make people feel emotions that they consciously wouldn't want to feel. This is why we encourage guys not to learn seduction to not hurt a girl's feelings or seek vengeance for previous failed relationships. Now, I prefer to consider these interactions as "leading" women. The reason being is your leading a woman to do something for you. Read any cosmo magazine or women's advice column. They learn to manipulate men's emotions from a very young age. Now I'm not saying either party is right for their tactics to get what they want. When interacting with women, you have to know how to lead the interaction and manipulate her feelings to get her interested in you. If you don't do this you may possibly never end up with her.

When looking at my past interactions with women before coming across GC, I was very fortunate. I may have gotten played by a couple girls, but it was nothing too serious. Some girls would make out with me to make their boyfriends jealous or sleep with me to make some guy jealous. I guess you could say I was at the right spot at the right time. I've heard guys spending thousands of dollars on women and getting nothing in return. I once spent 6 dollars when I was 17 and I thought was an extreme amount. If anything I believe learning the same tactics that women use against men is just protecting yourself. I'm able to say and find out what a woman's intentions really are. I use my seduction skills to find women I'm truly interested in. I leave the other girls alone and go about my day.

Just Dave

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