Does Seduction Only Work on Sluts?


seduction slutsWe recently moderated yet another comment where the comment author (a woman this time, though we get both men and women doing this) weighed in with something like, “I think this only works on women who aren’t as strict about who they sleep with or are more sexually open.”

We get comments like this sometimes.

The non-politically correct way of saying what she just said, of course, is, “This only works on sluts.”

This is a pretty common viewpoint among first-time readers of seduction-related materials, male and female alike. They read it; it grates with their belief systems; and they respond back stating that they’re pretty sure this only works on XYZ category of women that does not include them (or does not include the women that they date or want to date or have a crush on if they’re male).

And they make the statement that, “This only works on sluts,” and feel much better about themselves.

There, says the woman, now everyone knows that *I* am not a slut, and this would never work on *me*.

At last, says the man, someone has set the record straight, and shown these people that women like my precious Esmeralda would NEVER go for a man like this.

Yet, out of the black-and-white polarities of the all-text Internet, the real world is far more nuanced than those who would polarize womankind into “good girls” and “sluts” would have you (and themselves) believe.


seduction sluts

I come from a background in sales, and you run into this over and over again in sales. The people who tell you this would never work on them are quite often the ones most susceptible to it.

I hear the same thing about hypnosis. The smarter the individual, the more convinced he is that hypnosis will have no effect on him – and the more likely he is to fall deep under its spell.

The contradiction ties back to cognitive dissonance – the holding of two competing, and rather uncomfortable because of it, beliefs in the mind.

In the case of sales, on learning some sales technique, there are essentially three possible reactions an individual could have:

  1. Hears it, and sees how it could work: this is the person who purses his lips, nods his head, and says, “Hmm! That could indeed work quite well!” He realizes an argument like this might sway him in the right circumstances, coming from the right person, and doesn’t see any harm in admitting as much.

  2. Hears it, and doesn’t take any note at all: this is the person for whom it’s literally in one ear and out the other. He’s either the guy saying, “Oh, sure – EVERYBODY knows that! Anyway, onto the next thing,” or the one who says, “Oh really? Yawn. Anyway, so Joshua was telling me about this...” For whatever reason, it isn’t remotely interesting or insightful to him; maybe it doesn’t seem to affect him because he never deals with salespeople and never will, or maybe he’s already so experienced with salesmen that this seems like a basic, obvious truth and he doesn’t even see how anyone can bother wanting to talk about it.

  3. Hears it, and feels threatened by it: this is the person who experiences cognitive dissonance; he feels under personal assault by what he’s just read or heard, and feels the need to set the record straight. This is usually an act of reputation defense (”That doesn’t work on everybody” = “That doesn’t work on ME” = “Recognize my different-ness; and please, stop referring to me as a commoner at once”), though sometimes it can be one of belief system-preservation, as in the case of the sexually unsuccessful man clinging to the belief that there are “good girls” out there who “don’t go for that”, because he needs to believe that there are women who will be most attracted to the qualities he’s spent years curating in himself and that he hasn’t been wasting his time focusing on things women do not appreciate.

When you’re trying to teach something, you’re mostly just interested in talking to the people in group #1.

That’s because the people in group #2 are either already experienced in the thing; don’t need the thing; or don’t think they need the thing you are teaching, and the people in #3 just want to fight with you to convince you of their beliefs, and aren’t interested in having an actual discussion (they’d have to accept that you might be right first, and that’d put them in category #1).

And thus, you get a small collection of people who live an unsurprising world that works the way they expect it to (their mental models are aligned with the way of things)... while you get a much larger collection of people who find themselves constantly surprised, upset, disappointed, or sometimes elated at the way things work out in a cruel, deceptive, unpredictable world.

Yet, the universal sign that it’s time for a mental model revision – finding yourself surprised, shocked, distressed, disappointed, euphoric, or upset about how ANYTHING turns out – is dismissed by these people as one of the vagaries of life, and ignored.


The Girl It Didn’t Work On

When I first discovered that there were guys who actually wrote books on picking up girls in late 2005, I started buying up every tome I could get my hands on and devouring it.

The third such book I read was called The Game, and it was by a guy named Neil Strauss.

In The Game, Strauss chronicles his (somewhat compressed and dramatized) journey in the world of seduction, discussing his growth from nerdy failure with women into dashing, debonair seducer.

The book ends, though, with Neil finally locating that one perfect girl that all his tricks and gimmicks didn’t work on: she was the girl that stuff did not affect.

Needless to say, he set it all aside, dumped his other lovers, and decided that she was without a doubt “The One” for him, and the tone at the end of the book was one of a loud and clear “And they lived happily ever after.”

Three months after the book came out, the girl dumped Neil and hooked up with a rock star, who apparently had something going on that DID work on her.

seduction sluts

And that’s the problem with the “It would never work on me” crowd – no matter how much anyone insists or postures that nothing would work on them... well, they’re human.

Which means that, unless they’re completely asexual (and truth be told, about 1% of the population IS, so there’s always that chance), then SOMETHING works on them.

And odds are, it isn’t taking things super slow and showing what a great friend or long-term provider you’d make for them that does it.


seduction sluts

We’ve discussed this here before, but it’s worth spelling out in this article.

In terms of whom you can most easily seduce, the break down is thus:

  • Sexually inexperienced men:

    • Less experienced women: HARD

    • More experienced women: MODERATE

  • Sexually experienced men:

    • Less experienced women: EASY

    • More experienced women: MODERATE

Notice that as you become more experienced with women, women who are themselves more experienced than you do not become any easier... while women who are themselves less experienced sexually than you become much, much easier.

Why’s this?


Experience Overcoming Resistance

These experience differentials exist because the more experienced you get, the more experience you accumulate creating the right situations and emotions for intimacy that less experienced women find positively intoxicating, and the more easily you learn to deflect their efforts to resist or slow things down with convincing, seductive arguments for why now, rather, is the time for unbridled passion... and not later, in some distant time in the indeterminate future.

Meanwhile, as you increase in experience, women who are more sexually experienced than you will always be more sexually than experienced than you (if they weren’t, they’d be less experienced, and then they’d be easier), and thus they will be the ones more experienced at avoiding seductive situations and deflecting your efforts to speed things up... unless they decide they want otherwise with you.

Hence, it works like this: regardless your experience level, women who are more experienced than you are always going to be able to control the pace of things.

That means, if they decide they want fast sex with you, they will set it up; if they decide they want things to progress slowly with you, there will be little you can do about this otherwise.

Conversely: when it comes to women less sexually experienced than you, you’ll be stonewalled when you yourself are inexperienced, but will leap over those walls when you’re more experienced.

When you are inexperienced with women, you won’t know how to deal with inexperienced women’s automatic seduction shut-downs, and you’ll actually have an easier time with experienced women, who won’t shut you down but will rather just redirect you to play the game on their terms.

For instance, a man who invites a woman home may get these two resistances:

  • Inexperienced woman: Do you do this with every girl? You try to go home with her on the first date?

  • Experienced woman: Hmm... why don’t we go through a walk in the park instead?

Faced with the inexperienced woman’s protestations, the inexperienced man crumbles, uncertain what to say. She sees this weakness in him and loses all interest, and he’s blown it with her. He never gets the girl. Maybe he ends up in the friend zone, if he’s lucky.

Meantime, the experienced woman has deflected his advances, and slowed things down. But, if he continues to pursue her, at some point he may still eventually get sex.

So, for him, while women more sexually experienced than him aren’t easy, they are easier than their less sexually experienced peers for him.

But what happens if the man is a bit more sexually experienced?

If he’s more sexually experienced, the relative ease of seducing each woman is flipped.

That’s because he’s still stuck in a bind with the woman more experienced than him, who is slowing down and deflecting his advances. A woman more experienced than him is about as challenging for an experienced man as a proportionately more experienced woman is for an inexperienced man, too.

For example:

  • A man who’s slept with 5 women and gone on dates with 15 will have a difficult time controlling the pace of the interaction with a woman who’s slept with 10 men and gone on dates with 40.

  • Similarly, a man who’s slept with 50 women and gone on dates with 90 will have just as difficult a time controlling the pace of the interaction with a woman who’s slept with 80 men and gone on dates with over 200.

seduction sluts

While the men’s experience levels change, the relative difficulty of sleeping with more experienced women than themselves does not.

However, as you become a more experienced seducer, you get better and better at overcoming less experienced women’s forms of resistance, because you’ve seen them all a hundred times and you know just how to deal with them.

So when the more experienced man gets a girl saying, “Do you do this with every girl? You try to go home with her on the first date?”

He responds with something like, “Only the ones with little roses tattooed on the smalls of their backs,” (if she showed him she had a rose tattoo on her back earlier) or he stares her in the eyes, smiles mischievously, and says, “Yes.”

And then he takes her hand and leads her back home.


Why Don’t Less Experienced Women Act More?

If you’re really thinking about this as you read, your first thought might be, “Well, if everyone in an interaction is trying to push things more in his favor – men will usually be pushing for sex to happen sooner, while women will typically be pushing for it to happen later – why wouldn’t a less experienced woman simply employ the strategies of a more experienced woman?”

That is to say, why don’t less experienced women simply do the things with men that work so well for more experienced women in controlling the pace of the interaction?

It comes down to two things:

  1. They’re too nervous / excited to, and

  2. They don’t know what more experienced women do

This website, Girls Chase, and the articles and programs available here, essentially serve as training tools to arm less experienced men with more experienced mindsets and tactics to enable them to better control the pace of the interaction with women they like and bed them more consistently and reliably.

And, there are some tools available like that for women to allow women to better control the pace of the interaction too without having to go out and rack up all that experience themselves first – website/magazines like Cosmopolitan, books like The Rules, etc.

But most women and most men don’t spend a huge amount of time consuming these materials... most people have a few tips they’ve found out from various sources, but more or less stumble around and figure things out (or don’t) for themselves.

Yet, even IF she’s an inveterate Cosmo reader, or a complete Rules junkie, if you’re clearly more socially and sexually adept she’s going to tend to be too nervous to put into action tactics she picked up in a book.

And that works both ways; you might be really good at using Girls Chase tactics you’ve studied with an average girl, but meet a stunner or a girl from that one group of girls you really want to do well with (could be bleached blonde bombshells, or Latinas, or Asian girls, or Arab girls, or whatever) and your mind goes blank and you fall back on whatever your default programming is with really high value (to you) women... and maybe you end up taking her on an expensive dinner date, paying for it, then never seeing her again and slapping your forehead because you should KNOW better than that... but you still did it anyway.

Thus, men and women can act a little more experienced than they really are from consuming a lot of dating and seduction advice, but in the end, there’s no match for raw experience.

Because even if you know material front and back, if your knees start shaking in someone’s very presence, it all goes out the window.

That’s why we focus so much on getting your fundamentals in order on this site... so you can give women butterflies in their stomachs and present yourself as one of a very select few.


So... Does Seduction Only Work on Sluts?

Of course not.

When you’re new and first starting out, you’ll often find that the easiest women for you to sleep with are the ones who are more sexually experienced – women who’ve racked up lots of partners already, and have a few or even many more than you.

That’s because these women won’t throw the clumsy blanket shut-down attempts at you that leave you flummoxed and flailing that inexperienced women do... which consequently kill any attraction they might have for you when you fail to handle these well.

More experienced women are more poised in how they deflect your advances, and do so in ways that allow you to preserve more of your value and don’t scare you off from trying to get somewhere with them.

Yet, as you grow more experienced, you get better and better at scaling the wall that is less experienced women’s resistances – to the point where nearly all forms of resistance put up by less experienced women to you is completely trivial.

Less experienced women find it easier and easier to say “yes” to you because YOU become more and more attractive, more and more mesmerizing, and better and better able to sidestep any efforts to deflect your advances or control the pace of the interaction as you progress. They fall into your bed more and more rapidly... and do so with big smiles on their faces.

When you talk to inexperienced women who’ve had a few partners and will talk candidly with you about them, their partner list nearly always includes another inexperienced guy or two, but then a few really experienced playboys, too. They may tell you they thought the guy was going to be a boyfriend, or maybe everything “just happened” and they kind of fell into bed with him.

If the guy was indelicate in handling them after, sometimes they feel cheated. Or, if he handled their emotions properly, they may still recall him warmly.

When you are experienced enough, you become this man – the one that women with just a handful of lovers, or none at all, fall easily into bed with... women who are the very opposite of a “slut.”

Who even uses the term “slut” or talks about “easy women”, anyway?

In my experience... it’s women who are already “easy” themselves.

I’ve found that the most judgmental women against easy women tend to be ones with high partner counts relative to their age groups and regions. That varies from place to place – e.g., a girl with 5 partners in a traditional, rural area may fear that she’s a raging slut, while a girl with 5 partners in the big city is going to feel pretty confident that she’s one of the most chaste women in town – but if she fears that relative to her area she has a high partner count, she’ll tend to rail against slutty behavior more often than not.

It’s reputation preservation. If I call everyone else a liar, no one will realize that I’m the one who’s full of lies.

In fact, it’s gotten to the point now where if I hear a woman attacking other women for being “easy” or “loose” or “such a slut”, I automatically take that as an indication that the woman tossing those words around is herself the very thing she judges other women for (or at least, she fears she is).

So... does seduction ONLY work on sluts?

Actually, once you’re reasonably good with your fundamentals and are reasonably sexually experienced, you’ll quickly find that it works BEST on inexperienced women, who don’t yet have the tools and skill sets to slow you down and control the pace to go more the way they want it to go rather than they way you do.

Although when you’re starting out, much of your success will indeed tend to come with easier women.

And if that’s not a reason to appreciate the girls who are more sexually experienced than you (for giving you that leg up into the world of success with women that inexperienced women have a very hard time giving to inexperienced men), I don’t know what is.

Always,
Chase

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Comments

Beginner's picture

Reengaging


Hello, this might seem obvious but I have some trouble about reengaging when I already engaged a woman in particular. For instance, if I opened a girl and didn't close; or maybe if I did, coincidentally bumped into her again without warning, then I have no idea what to say or act. Since I already used the opening and known a little about her, it's feels kind of awkward if I reengage her again. But if she sends me signals of wanting to reengage again, I have no idea how to not make it awkward and plain.

David Riley's picture

Keep it Simple


"How's your *time of day going*?" or "Still having fun" or "What are you doing after this?" These are just simple questions you could ask when you see her and you have time to talk.

You could always do my personal favorite "Hey you" said with a slight smirk running across my face. Sometimes I may even lock eyes before saying anything. Remember things are only awkward if you make them awkward. Women will very rarely walk up to you and reengage you. If they're looking, they want you to come over and say something. Women take the passive role in the mating game. As a result if you want anything to happen you have to be the one who makes things happen.

You can also walk up to her and say, "Let me show you something." Then take her away. ;)

Take care,

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

i wouldn't say that critical


i wouldn't say that critical people are more easy, but they just stand out more because their behavior calls for attention. what someone says is independent of his/her actions. someone who thinks something won't work on him or a girl being critical of other girls doesn't change his/her "susceptibility." people in general are all susceptible, they just don't know it or have that self image. it doesn't make them easier. you didn't define what it means to be loose or easy or under what circumstances they qualify, but in my experience, girls with less partners and who are more reserved (good girls/structurists) are much more critical. they have higher standards but it doesn't make them any more or less "easy" per se. it's just, like you said, cognitive dissonance. it only reflects on her beliefs.

there is a lot of nice guy hate in this community i'm wondering where it's coming from? perhaps you could first define what is a nice guy and what is "enough" to be considered attractive and what would make someone "more" attractive. are we talking solely about sexual attraction or more? lately i've been seeing some of the most attractive women with nice guys. sure you could argue that the women are using them, will eventually leave them or cheat on them etc., but you can't speculate and the very fact that they choose nice guys over and over again and marry them over bad boys means something doesn't it? some women, and it's usually the most secure women, are attracted to more than a player with social status. wouldn't you agree? it's kind of like the loser who praises his player friend whereas another player wouldn't even care. i never read The Game, but who's to say the girl who dumped him is even a catch? a lot of girls who go for bad boys are bad girls themselves. I'm attracted to bad girls too, but aside from sex would she fulfill my happiness in any other way? probably not.

one thing i have observed is that cougars, whether it be older or more experienced women, seem to have less of a need for dominance. maybe it's because they probably have higher sex drives and therefore are attracted to more men, though?

Black Mystery's picture

What makes them chase..


Hey Chase,
I have been approaching girls recently keeping in view that I need to stay cool and make them chase me. You mentioned in one of your articles that you come to the situation where you meet her, talk to her and none of you two chase each other then instantly she starts chasing you. You didn't elaborate it much.
As I'm in same condition, I would appreciate an article what exactly makes girls chase a man, call him/text him. I call them they talk interestingly but never call themselves.

Black Mystery

Slash's picture

Article Idea


Hey Chase,

I know it isn't related to this article but I was reading the comments on your article on Madonna/Whore etc and you mentioned in a reply about identity.

I think an article on Identity would be really good. I have achieved a lot of confidence and my rock solid self-assurance from being very comfortable with my identity. Too many people today are not sure what their identity is, or try to have 2 opposing identities such as their day time identity, and their 'pick up' identity.

Related to that, is the importance of diversifying your identity. For example, you are Chase, the self improvement guru, Chase, the pick up artist, Chase, the entrepreneur. You have diverse identities. If someones sole identity is that of a PUA, or a business man, and they start failing in that area of their life, it can lead to a very quick downward spiral.
I think I heard from a Tony Robbins conference about how this really successful investment banker lost a load of his and his friends money, and was considering suicide, and Tony Robbins asked about how his family would cope. It turns out his death would lead to a big life assurance payout for his family. Robbins noted that this man had only one identity: money earner for his family. If he couldn't do that, in his mind, he was useless.

As you can tell, that is a very dangerous mindset. Having more diverse identity means that if you fail in one aspect, you still have good things going in your life. I think if beginner PUA's knew that, they might not give up so early through discouragement.

Let me know what you think?

David Riley's picture

Let them know


Hey Slash,

Chase has me monitoring comments on the site. I will be sure to let Chase and the authors writers request for that particular article.

In a response to your comment on the banker, I would say its a combination of balance and dealing with pressure. It's important for people to have more an identity and for man they're main identity is their job. When a man fails at his job or loses his job, he's lost that identity. Chase touched on identity here in this article.

http://www.girlschase.com/content/9-male-identities-and-how-they-affect-...

Let me know if this answers your question.

Just Dave

Slash's picture

Identity


Hey Dave,

The 9 male identities article is very helpful. I had read it before, but I think I scanned it just to see what the 9 identities are.

However, I do think that if any of the writers on Girls Chase are short on ideas, an article on why everyone should find their identity, and diversify it appropriately would be good, especially for beginners.

As I said in my post, knowing and being comfortable with your identity makes you a much more happy and confident person in the first place. And diversifying your identity allows you to take the pressure off yourself if you're failing in one area, but focusing on an area you do well in. Also, by diversifying your experiences, you're opening yourself up to different people, different ideas, and you're becoming a more rounded and attractive person by having an active life.

I think the diversifying it very important for newbies. Too many people discover 'seduction material' and its a revelation. Then they throw themselves in the deep end, trying to pick up women every night of 2 weeks. They think they will get results immediately, which doesn't often happen. By having other successful things going on in their life, this bad 2 weeks won't seem as bad, and they won't feel as discouraged.

Anyway, I think it would be a nice topic if any of the writers ever get a chance to look at it.

Slash

Anonymous's picture

Yo Chase, is there such a


Yo Chase, is there such a thing as sluts to you(women who lose value with higher partner counts)?

Thnaks

David Riley's picture

Article Links


Hello Anon,

Chase has me answering comments on website and helping with the questions. I found an article that may very well help answer that question.

http://www.girlschase.com/content/how-many-partners-has-your-girlfriend-...

Let me know if that answers your question.

Just Dave

Danny's picture

Pulling


Hey Chase i have a question.. you see, i live in a medium size town in Colombia but i still study your material since i lived in london for 13 years and learnt english and ive been cold approaching women for the last 9 months and right now im developing my process and am getting good at going direct and building rapport and bantering and all that, but pulling not so much, ive only successfully done three pulls and cold approached about 200 women or so.. and ive found myself in the situation where i approach a girl and we hit it off REALLY well but then i tell her i have to run then i catch her a few days later or i see them walking on the street around town and preening and giving me eye contact and attraction signals but im not really sure how to go over to them and finish off what i started.. like basically just going over and relight the spark and pull her in the middle of the day to my place or anywhere really.

So i guess my questions is, do i go reapproach her with a direct compliment again?? and go for the pull then and there or ask her for her number and plan a meet up in my house or something, im not really sure but im still chipping away at it anyway, i would appreciate a word of advice here. thanks man...

David Riley's picture

Keep it Simple


Hey Danny,

The best thing you could do is reengage them. A simple "Hey you" would suffice. From there I see when she's available to meet up. If she's busy or not interested, just tell her you gotta get going. Women will often try to slow you down when you're about to walk away. Tell her you really have to get going but press her for a meet up. You have to treat women with consistency otherwise they'll be really confused about your intentions. They'll think they were either right or wrong about you. So to answer you question you want to go for a pull there and press for a meet up.

Take care,

Just Dave

Dilusha's picture

Does the money matter?


Hi guys, I have commented many times but you guys never reply to me. So it feels like nobody's helping me. So please, reply at least this comment. I want to know, does the money matter. I'm a middles class man. So, will it cause any problem when it comes to seducing super rich girls? And also I've got another issue. Almost every pretty/beautiful/sexy girl don't even look at me wherever I go. I'm just 19 and a beginner. So many things to learn. Nothing wrong with my appearance. Following all your brilliant articles I've transformed myself into a sexy man. But still this happens. I'don't know what's wrong. Please reply.

David Riley's picture

Yes and No


Hey Dilusha,

Chase has me helping out with the comments here since a lot of people's comments like yourself have gone unanswered. I would money matters in situations if you want to take a girl out and what role you're trying to fill in her life. With that said, it all comes down to your fundamentals. You have to approach girls who want to be approach. I would recommend reading Chase latest article on using eye contact to your advantage.

http://www.girlschase.com/content/how-check-out-girl-openly-and-turn-her

There are many small things to consider when talk to certain groups of him. I would also recommend using preselection to your advantage as well.

Take care,

Just Dave

blogster's picture

"These experience


"These experience differentials exist because the more experienced you get, the more experience you accumulate creating the right situations and emotions for intimacy that less experienced women find positively intoxicating, and the more easily you learn to deflect their efforts to resist or slow things down.

Faced with the inexperienced woman’s protestations, the inexperienced man crumbles, uncertain what to say. She sees this weakness in him and loses all interest, and he’s blown it with her"

I was drawn to these sentences in particular. If you could sum up WHAT is the seduction process, would it be essentially this - escalating, building attraction and overcoming their tendency to slow down the process? I struggle 'getting' this because it seems so contradictory? Can you perhaps sum it up and explain this internal process going on in a woman during seduction? For me the confusing thing is a woman appearing to feel desire whilst simultaneously slowing things down? Can you comment on this and the apparent contradictory nature of it, including why? This would assist my mental state when facing such situations.

David Riley's picture

Anti Slut Defense


Hey Blogster,

When a girl starts slowing things down with you, and she's actually still attracted to you its because of Anti-Slut Defense. Which is a girl basically saying, "I don't want to seem easy, and make this guy lost respect for me." I've come across this many times.

Example - ASD

Girl: I don't have sex before getting into a relationship.

Me: I don't see anything wrong with women who love and enjoy having sex. I think it's one of the sexiest things a woman can do. I love when women take charge of their own sexuality.

What I did in the example above was let a girl know that just because she has sex with me on the first night doesn't make her a slut. On the contrary, I told her I approve of girls who love to have sex and go for it. Girls will slow things down for you also because they want a relationship with you.

Me: Are you single?
Girl: Girl, no how about you?
Me: I'm too busy for a relationships.
Girl: Why do you say that?
Me: My lifestyle is too demanding with projects I'm trying to do, I don't have the time to dedicate to a girlfriend right now. Now if I meet a girl who's fun and adventurous, I'll hang out with her now and then and attempt to make more time for her.

Basically in that example I'm communicating with the girl that I'm not interested in a serious relationship, I'm only making time for girls who want to have sex with me. If a girl wants to consume my time and not sex, she will not be seeing me.

You'll run into the boyfriend problem when girls see too much potential with you being a great future boyfriend. This is not the way to go because she will slow things down with you, even after you've slept with her. She will try to make you commit before she puts out. I recommend not giving into these types of agreements because it puts too much power into her hand. Now if you really want this girl as a girlfriend, you can go for it. Otherwise make your exit.

Take care,

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

the word manipulation has a


the word manipulation has a bad connotation attached to it, but from everything i've read, it's almost as if one needs to manipulate in order to be successful with women given how complicated they are. it feels dishonest and fake when you're doing it, but sometimes it's only because you're consciously analyzing your actions. what is your perspective on this? naturally it would be ideal to live an attractive lifestyle but there's a difference between active and passive attraction. anything active sometimes feels phony and like i'm putting too much work in (and that I shoudn't be). the girl will likely also sense when you're putting up a front and lose attraction, much in the same way I would if i knew a girl was intentionally ignoring my calls or playing hard to get. it works when it works but it doesn't when it doesn't. there's no way be right every time and while it's important to be your most attractive self, at what point does this start having negative effects (like being insecure, overanalyzing, putting too much effort and being completely relaxed/accepting yourself)?

David Riley's picture

Leading


Hey Anon,

Basically what you described is first hand why people fear seducers and PUA's. The reason seducers can make people feel emotions that they consciously wouldn't want to feel. This is why we encourage guys not to learn seduction to not hurt a girl's feelings or seek vengeance for previous failed relationships. Now, I prefer to consider these interactions as "leading" women. The reason being is your leading a woman to do something for you. Read any cosmo magazine or women's advice column. They learn to manipulate men's emotions from a very young age. Now I'm not saying either party is right for their tactics to get what they want. When interacting with women, you have to know how to lead the interaction and manipulate her feelings to get her interested in you. If you don't do this you may possibly never end up with her.

When looking at my past interactions with women before coming across GC, I was very fortunate. I may have gotten played by a couple girls, but it was nothing too serious. Some girls would make out with me to make their boyfriends jealous or sleep with me to make some guy jealous. I guess you could say I was at the right spot at the right time. I've heard guys spending thousands of dollars on women and getting nothing in return. I once spent 6 dollars when I was 17 and I thought was an extreme amount. If anything I believe learning the same tactics that women use against men is just protecting yourself. I'm able to say and find out what a woman's intentions really are. I use my seduction skills to find women I'm truly interested in. I leave the other girls alone and go about my day.

Just Dave

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