Carnival of Dating Advice, 10th Edition
It's time for the 10th edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice!
Bringing you a selection of the best articles on dating, relationships,
sex, psychology, and more from across the web.
We've got eight articles for you in total this week, with an unusual
number of pieces offering more or less profound looks into human
psychology. In addition to these, we have for your sampling some hard
hitting advice against blaming others, some unconventional advice on how long
to wait before you start dating again after a breakup, some unexpected
advice on the most powerful tool in the bedroom, and a couple of tips
for women on knowing if that shy guy friend is into them and a rather
humorous way to go about knowing if that man they're seeing is "The
One."
On with the carnival...
Relationships
Foxy of The Golden Fox Girl submits a profound and thought-provoking article entitled "An Open Letter to My Ex-Husband." While it starts off sounding like a simple tale of a relationship gone awry, it turns out that's just the backstory, and where Foxy takes it is something very much worth reading.
Tamika from Tamika Lanelle - Thinking Out Loud sends us the strong piece "It's Not Them, It's You." Her message is one I've tried to get across to many friends, students, and mentees - both male and female - any number of times: that if you're having the same probelm again and again, particularly one with other people, the fault isn't theirs - it's yours.
From Vantage
Point Counseling Services, Michael Salas submits "Love
Worth Waiting For," an insight into the post-breakup behavior of
most people, and a rather surprising prescription: wait six months after a breakup before
getting into a new relationship.
Psychology
TherapyDoc of Everyone
Needs Therapy dives into what's going on in the heads of those who
stray from their relationships in "How
to Have an Affair." The article, perhaps deceptively titled, is not about the "how;" rather, it is
an exploration of the "why," instead.
Sex
On Pickup Podcast, David
Shade writes "Your
Most Powerful Tool in the Bedroom is Not Your 'Tool,'" recommending
an unconventional tool for bringing women to climax: your voice.
A Woman's Perspective
While it's a man who's doing the writing (a man named Todd
Mayfield), this article submitted by John of Fearless Men called "5 Thoughts
Women Wish Men Knew" is all about understanding things from a
female point of view. While I don't agree with all of these as being
things men should do (if they
want to actually succeed with girls), they are all things women often think men should do, and some of
them, especially listening without trying to fix things and making
confident decisions, are things you certainly ought to do.
For the Ladies
Chris from Ladies Should Know sends in a guide for women on figuring out if that shy guy they know likes them with "Tuesday Ten: How to Know If He Likes You" (although, if I catch any guys who are readers of this site doing any of this to girls, you're getting voted off the island). Good pointers for a girl who's just not sure if that guy friend of hers is into her.
Ely North from the appropriately-named Wayward Advice weighs into the
question of "Is He
the One?" with a simple but disturbing way of finding out: the fart test.
Wrapping Up
... and that wraps us up for the tenth edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice. If you're reading this and want to submit for next time, check out the guidelines here.
Hope you found these articles fun and useful. Tune in next week for more great posts from around the Internet.
Yours,
Chase Amante
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Comments
Fifty Shades of Grey & Forum Moderating
I guess this is an opportune time to say that I had a chance to plow through The Sex God Method by Daniel Rose not too long ago... and it pretty much mirrors the advice listed here by David Shade (with more detail of course).
I've already thoroughly tested this verbal game on four different girls, and I have to say, it is DEFINITELY the way to go! Three of these four girls are currently texting me regularly to "hang out," but it's pretty obvious they are already addicted, haha. With the current Fifty Shades of Grey book craze going on, you would think more men would pick up on these verbal tactics in the bedroom!
Anyway, on another note, Chase, this website has been life-changing for me in more ways than one. I would like to contribute to this website in some way, and I feel like one of the ways I could do that would be to help moderate on the forums.
I'm not sure if your team has designated forum moderators yet, but they are definitely necessary to keeping a forum in-check and on-topic. If you're looking for individuals to help moderate on the forums (and even answer user questions), I would be more than willing (at no cost) to contribute to this effort. I do have experience as a moderator on forums in the past, and I come from a Computer Science background. If you'd like me to send you more info (and maybe even a resume), I would have no problem with that either. Just let me know how you would like me to get in touch with you or your team if this interests you.
Either way, I will continue to be an active user on this website! =)
Cheers,
Franco
Re: Fifty Shades of Grey & Forum Moderating
Hey Franco,
Yeah, the voice is powerful stuff in the bedroom. I focused on my physical technique a lot myself earlier on, and got good enough in that department that I guess it robbed me of some of my motivation to keep improving there, but I still use voice as an amplifier when a woman's hitting peaks, and it does work wonders. Certainly sounds like you're accumulating a following of very hooked young ladies, so clearly you're doing something right!
I appreciate the offer to moderate, Franco; I've for sure noticed you've been commenting here frequently, and you strike me as a guy who's dedicated and ambitious in learning everything he can about seduction and socializing, and who's willing to give guidance to newer guys too ("if you want to learn, teach," goes the saying).
I'll shoot you an email a little later today.
Cheers,
Chase
Sharing the wealth
Wow, Carnival of Dating Advice is a plethora of new ideas and perspective. I don't know too many people willing to throw a nod to the competition, but there's some great stuff in this blog. The Tamika Lanelle piece had me laughing, at myself...yep that was me, and Pickup Podcast is a new favorite. Man, you must be absolutely certain that your material is rock solid to pitch these other awesome sites. Thanks for keeping things open around here Chase, looking forward to the next installment. Level up.
Competition
Thanks for the feedback, Trilogy - glad you're finding the carnival good reading! Means we're getting some solid submissions :)
As far as competition, well - if you ever saw Miracle on 34th Street, you'll remember the scene where Kris Kringle, working for Macy's, advises a parent to head over to Gimbels to find the skates she's looking for. At first the top brass flips out... and then they realize that word's spread in town about how customer-focused they are over at Macy's, and suddenly the line of children and parents waiting for Kris Kringle is incredibly long, and sales at Macy's are through the roof. They end up asking for a full list of what Gimbels has in stock so they can recommend it, and the folks at Gimbels refuse to let Macy's be known as the best game in town and get a hold of a list of what Macy's carries so they can start recommending Macy's, too.
Anyway, that's sort of the philosophy around these parts - I'll try to have whatever people want, but if someone else has great stuff too, I've got no problem pointing them over there. That's what a blog carnival's all about, anyway ;)
Chase
Hi Chase and Ricardus! First
Hi Chase and Ricardus! First of all i want to thank you on this site and articles, they are awesome, second sorry for my english if i made some mistakes-not my first language.
I would like to ask you for a favour, for me big favour actually, and that is to write article about one topic ( i ll get to that ) because i think there are tons of guys in similar situation like mine and all of us would need your advice.
You can very often read and hear ( even in your articles ) that girls in their mind divide guys on :
Lovers ( edgy bad boys ) and
Providers ( cultural, educated, well mannered guys which can offer value to their lives ).
First I would like to hear your perspective on one thing – why do girls identify bad boys with great mind blowing sex, and good guys with miserable sex, and accordingly they are more than willing to hook up with bad boys but when it comes to good guys its relationship or nothing ! It is totally idiotic because someones personality has NOTHING to do with his ability in bed. I am simply saying you can have on one side some computer nerd who would fuck her brain out all night long, and on the other side some “bad boy macho” guy who doesn’t know where is clitoris and what is it for. Girl simply cant know what is behind the door until she pass thru them, its simply as that.
Second thing – I live in relatively small town, where everyone knows everyone. I am intelligent, warm, friendly guy.Also educated with well payed job ( lawyer ). My question is how to “put myself” outthere and how to behave to find girlfriend who is willing to hook up for casual sex only ( because that is the ultimate goal I think ). Only the girl who is willing to have casual sex with you and nothing more is the one you can consider to be serious relationship candidate, because she sees you as a man and a lover ( alpha ), she likes you just because of you, not your job, not your money, not values you can bring into her life, just you.And that is the type of girl all of men want in their lives. So my question – in small town ( 35.000 residents ) where nearly everybody knows me ( not of course personally but know who I am ) ) so I cant hide my job, my status or my money, how to find girl who will like you even if I didn’t had anything? I don’t want to be smart and logical choice to settle down with, I want to be lover in her eyes.
Thanks upfront
Bad Boys and Small Towns
Howdy Marco,
Some good questions here.
On the bad boys, if you haven't seen this post yet, check it out:
Why Girls Like Bad Boys
Essentially, a guy who's a bad boy is communicating to women through his confidence and lack of overvaluing of women that he is more experienced and successful with women, which connotes preselction and thus, more valuable genes. He is, in effect, a higher quality mate (for reproductive purposes) than a "nice guy," at least that's how he's read at a subconscious emotional level. Nice guys are often deeply insulted by this - everyone gets angry at the suggestion they don't have "good genes" - but it's correctable simply by gaining more exposure to women and becoming the style of man they find most attractive.
On sex in particular, it's natural to assume that someone who's all around better with women will be better with sex too. Not always correct, but a pretty natural assumption. You see a short fat guy and a tall lanky guy walking down the street, whom do you assume is better at basketball? The case may be that the short fat guy's got a hell of a jump shot, and the tall lanky guy's never touched a basketball in his life, but on average, your assumptions that the tall lanky guy can outplay the short fat guy will be correct.
On not being boyfriend material, have a look at this article:
Telling Women You're NOT Boyfriend Material
... there's a list of reasons you can use with women to convey to them that you're not on the market. Try some of those on for size - and see which women stick around, and which women don't. You'll start getting a much better read on who likes you for you, and who's only there for the cash that way.
Cheers,
Chase
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