Happy New Year!
I am sure many of you have set goals to become better with women and seduction in 2014.
Therefore, I’ve chosen to put together an article about the learning process. In this post, I’d like to share my personal experience learning seduction - and I’ll also share lots of tips and advice that ought to help you learn faster.
The purpose of this post is to make progress easier for you and give you some guidance along the way. I also hope this piece motivates you to keep learning about seduction!
Was It Worth It?
A question many beginners ask is whether it is worth it or not to spend lots of time (because let’s face it, it does take a few years to become good at this) learning all this stuff.
The answer is YES; it is worth it (in my opinion). Here is why:
Learning pick up and seduction is theoretically complex and practically
difficult. It’s theoretically complex because it demands knowledge in
fields including psychology, sexology, evolutionary biology,
sociology, and more.
Seduction and pick up are cross-disciplinary fields. Yet a lot of the knowledge you will learn in pick up and seduction will not only be useful when you are talking to women, but also in your everyday life in many other fields.
Learning game also makes you smarter, because it makes you reflect theoretically around SERIOUS questions and issues. This is not just a stupid hobby with a weird philosophy. The topics covered in this area of study are topics biologists, psychologists and sociologists are concerned about. There are often lots of research concerning the topics we discuss taking place in multiple institutions.
But we are not only in this for a theoretical purpose. We are in this for a practical purpose. A sociologist might (but not necessarily) give us an answer for why women have been conditioned in such-and-such a way; yet, we have practical experience with real world instances of this. We can see things on so many levels.
We gain knowledge on a question that concerns a majority of human beings – “How do I seduce other people?” People are addicted to this question. Men work their asses off to get money in order to impress women (and surpass other men), and women spend truckloads of time on their looks in order to win over men (and outcompete other women).
The topic of seduction concerns us a lot – psychologically speaking.
Further, let us not forget the importance of SEX in our lives. One of our most crucial needs is sex. It is actually one of the most important of them.
Spending time and learning seduction is absolutely worth it. It is important to satisfy, or at least learn how to satisfy, such an important human need as the one that sex presents.
But beside all this, let me tell you that this topic is REALLY interesting, and that going out, meeting women and learning is a lot of fun. Without bragging, I will consider myself good with women. Yet, often when I head out to “the field” I miss the good old days where I was still learning. I can tell you that many other experienced seducers feel the same. The learning process itself was really exciting.
It is simply exciting to experience new things, and start seeing the bigger picture.
Is Learning Pick Up and Seduction Hard?
Yes it is. If anyone tells you otherwise, they are either fakes or were simply naturally good with women before starting out. I know many dating coaches who were naturals or semi-naturals before starting with pick up.
The main reason why learning seduction is hard is because it is theoretically complex. As a matter of fact, within the circle of top seducers, there are a number of theoretical disagreements – and trust me, both sides have good points.
Like any other sciences there are a lot of different theories, with some of them being rather complex. Keep in mind that I know many seducers, and many of them are VERY smart people. I know a few seducers who have PhDs from top schools (one of them is actually quite famous); some are lawyers, some philosophers, some are doctors… some are just simply very smart.
So keep in mind that when these people discuss a topic, it will become rather complicated. Sometimes they also overcomplicate things, but in my opinion, the amounts of recent discoveries within the art of seduction are huge. The results of our little “underground” research regime have given us great results.
But beside all this, pick up and seduction is hard for more practical reasons. The first one being that pick up is very personal. For instance, your personality is directly related to its practice.
Your personality plays a crucial role when you are out there picking up women. This means that something that might work for me, might not work for you, and vice versa. This makes it difficult for many men to figure out “what really works” (or “what works for me”).
To this I have only one answer. Try out everything you know off, and experiment with different things. After a while, you will get a clearer grasp on what works for you and what doesn’t.
It’s here very important that you do not get stuck within one method or one school of thought unless you are experienced and have gotten lots of results from doing so.
I often head around different forums, just to come across posters who are dogmatic in their views, who are so confident that so-and-so way of doing things is the right one, while it is clear to me that these people never have gotten any results.
Be open-minded; try different things. What works is what is giving you results. The rest... consider it just as an interesting read.
When I started out, I started with one particular method – namely, “Mystery Method”. This is a well-known method to many of you and many of the principles within this method are very good. There is a lot of gold within this method. Sadly, I was young, and too highly energetic, and girls at my age didn’t give a damn about what the “Mystery Method” was trying to convey. I wasn’t getting laid at all; in fact, I didn’t get a single lay that year.
Then one day I read the Player’s Guide (an old school, outdated, yet good guide which I don’t believe is out there anymore), where I saw a method called “GM Style” (Grandmaster Style). Quickly explained, GM Style is about mixing humour with sexual intent – i.e., making stupid sex jokes like, “Hey wanna sit down on my lap and talk about the first thing that pops up” (hint – my dick). That night, I got a blowjob from a girl in the bathroom, which sadly was interrupted because her boyfriend showed up.
After that, I set to work at once changing my whole plan, even if I had been reading and practicing Mystery Method for the better part of a year. It really sucks changing plans, especially when you’ve invested time in doing one thing in particular. But if that thing isn’t giving you the desired results, then the benefits from sticking with it are low – let’s face reality.
Since then, I have been open minded, and tried many different things, and, after a few years into this approach, I had the knowledge and experience to at last develop my own style.
Another difficulty that arises when learning pick up is the ego. You will have to push and challenge yourself a lot, and that can be detrimental to your ego (in other words, you may and probably will end up feeling like crap from your failures).
That is what makes it difficult. And yes, you will face a lot of failure. But the good news is that the brain remembers success stories more easily than failures. This means that if you fail on 10 women, but manage to sleep with one, your brain will easily remember that one success story, while the failures get glossed over and forgotten quite quickly. That is rather good news, if you ask me.
After a while, you will have more success stories, and the brain will remember those. This will increase you core confidence and you will just grow stronger.
It is important to just hold on in the beginning… and accept the fact that you are a beginner (if you are one) and that failure is part of the process. Accept it, and accept the fact that you are currently practicing, which is the truth, as this will make everything easier for you, yourself and your ego.
Here is the thing: learning pick up does not follow a straight learning curve. In fact it is not like football where you see more and more results everyday.
More to the point, you can practice like mad for 6 month without seeing the results. However, once you get results, you have solved the mystery, and the next results will come shortly after.
For example, in my case, I was just not getting laid at all during my first year. Then one day I managed to get laid. Do you think it took me another year to get laid again? No it didn’t; in fact, it only took me 2 months.
Once you break the code, you break the code. It is as simple as that. However, breaking the code entails that you might not get any single results until you’ve figured out what works and why it does so.
So if you are not getting your desired results so far, do not give up, you simply haven’t broken the code yet. Once you do so, you will get a lot of results.
Do note that this rule does not apply if you’ve getting laid just out of pure luck – i.e., you happen to be next to a girl who was just really horny, and the logistics were perfectly set up and all you had to do was be there.
If that is the case, you haven’t broken the code just yet. However, such events will boost your confidence, which again will increase your chances of succeeding.
Why Is “Field Experience” So Important?
Now let’s talk about experience and why it’s so important. It is important because theory alone cannot get you laid. The reason being that theories only describe how things work within a hypothetical situation.
If you head out, you will see that every girl and every situation are different. Theories are just mere generalizations of how things are. I am not saying reading stuff is a waste of time; on the contrary, it helps you understand your real life interactions with women better (and let’s face it, reading material is fun and exciting too).
Reading stuff can also inspire you to find solutions to your in-field situations, and can also help you out if you are stuck. It also has a factor of motivation that should not be left out.
However, experience teaches you how to handle different situations, and the more experience you have, the more different difficult situations you will be able to handle.
Additionally, seduction becomes a practical topic when practiced in field. If it’s results you are after, then you need to head out and practice; it’s one thing to understand how something works, but making it work requires practical training. You cannot learn to play basketball simply by watching or reading about it (even though, like pick up and seduction, doing so will help you out)... in order to learn how to play basketball (or seduction), you must practice.
On a last note, practice is important, because a theory cannot by any
means cover every small detail of a particular in-field situation, or
explain every possible use of a technique. When you’re reading about
pick up and seduction,
there will always be elements, small subtle elements, that will not be
covered. You will manage to get a grasp on these elements by going out
and practicing and seeing them for yourself. For example, it is hard to
cover stuff about body language in a written post, or our tonality, our
delivery etc.… To learn these, you must go out, try them, tweak them
run off the feedback you get in field.
Here Is a Short “How to Learn Seduction” Guide:
Practice those till you master them (it can take a year or two) before doing more fancy and advanced stuff (on another note, I know many seducers who are really good, who still only use basics).
When you are out, try to always think of what you did right and what you did wrong. If you did something wrong, try to figure out why that was the case and read some posts about those issues. Then create a solution and apply it to the field until you manage to handle that sticking point.
If you are beginner, try to post detailed field reports in our field report section. Write what happened, why things that happened actually happened, what you did in field, and why you did that exact thing – be detailed. This way you can get really good feedback and you will be able to learn a lot.
Read field and lay reports by experienced seducers. There is a lot to learn in there.
You are lucky to have the Girls Chase team with you. Chase is a very experienced seducer and his team has been hand picked by him. Everything here might not suit your personality; however, you can be sure that everything you will be reading here has been field tested a lot. Try out the advice you read here in-field and report back to the one writing the article either in the comment section or by sending an email or posting on the forum. We love helping out people who actually are out there and trying out this stuff.
Do not give up, because learning how to get laid and have a happy love and sex life is important to you. Learning how to fix this area of your life is crucial.
It is also very exciting to learn about this subject, especially once you start getting results.
Be open-minded, because there are a lot of smart guys in this community – plenty of good insights you can benefit from.
Always field-test what you read. For all you know, you might have found your personal magic bullet (i.e., it might let you break the code).
It takes time to learn all this. It took me 2,5 year with intense training (going out 3 times a week) and meeting lots of girls to get good. Was it worth it?
Yes; it was the best investment of my life.
I have been into pick up and seduction for nearly 6 years now. I am still not bored of it!
So do not give up, and have fun! Because that is what pick up and seduction is.