3 Flavors of Sexy: Brooding, Smooth, and Talkative Vibes
Wednesday, 1 January 2014
In my travels, I've been fortunate to have met a number of different men with different personalities who've all found success with women their own unique ways. One of the patterns I've picked up on has been that each of these men's "vibes", if you will, fall into one of three rough categories:
- Brooding / sad
- Smooth / charming
- Talkative / dynamic
No one of these vibes (or airs, or auras, or whatever term you like) is better than another, though each one appeals to different subsets of women. Some are more popular at different times of life - most of the teen male heartthrobs you'll see in books and movies are brooding, for instance, while the majority of mature (30+) male sex symbols hew more closely to the "smooth" way of doing things - but each can be used successfully at any point in a guy's life; there are plenty of talkative young guys who clean up with women, and I've seen my fair share of brooding older guys who do well with the vibe despite their lack of youth.
This article is broken down into three major sections: one on each of the 3 flavors of vibe. So read on, and find out which kind of sexual vibe is best suited to you - and, how you can learn to adapt each of these vibes for your own use, where needed.
First, let's talk about the brooding vibe:
The brooding man is a mouth-watering mix of Byronic flaws and vulnerabilities to women; his weary nature hints at a tortured soul, making the opposite sex wonder what causes his heart to be so black and his face so gloomy and worn, while also hinting at that ever-salivating prospect for so many girls: the chance to SAVE a man.
Because, just as many men fall victim to being white knights dead-set on saving the tragic damsels in distress they meet, so too do many women fall prey to the temptations of the tragic hero who is himself in need of rescuing.
Of course, like any of these vibes, you've got to have the fundamentals to back it all up - just being sad, without also being a strong and sexually desirable man, doesn't get you very far at all. So, don't think you can go mope around without also being sexy and get a lot of women screaming for you like your name was Edward Cullen.
The Brooding Vibe: Pros and Cons
I brooded a lot when I was in high school and college, and high school and college are probably the two biggest times in a man's life for brooding. That's because these environments are the environments brooding works best in: brooding is a social circle vibe.
Why's that? Mainly because brooders don't go around approaching women all that much. If you're brooding over life's callous capriciousness, you're not going to also be chasing down women, and if you do, and you aren't perfect in your execution of it, it's going to come across incredibly incongruent. You're not the talkative type; you're not even the flirty type... so how on Earth are you going to open, for Pete's sake?
You're not. The brooder doesn't rely on opening himself... he waits for the women he wants to come and open him.
Thus, our pros of brooding:
You encourage women to do the work. Approach anxiety isn't even something a brooding guy has to worry about; his women come to him. A brooding man is a lot more likely to get approached by women because he seems vulnerable (a lot less likely to reject them or make them feel bad for approaching), and also because they can tell he's never going to approach them himself in a million years - they've got to do it, or it isn't going to get done.
You inspire chasing behavior more quickly than any other vibe. The women who are partial to brooding men chase them harder, longer, and more feverishly than any other women chase any other vibe. Just look at the teenaged to middle-aged female fans of whomever the latest brooding heartthrob is, whether that's an actor, boy band singer, or fictional character wearing the "most steamy, sexy, tragic, brooding guy" mantle, it doesn't matter - women do backflips for sexy, brooding men.
You screen out uninterested women. If a girl's on the fence, you won't even have to worry about her - you'll probably never or almost never interact with her. Thus, any ambiguity about dating, any wasting of your time on uninterested women, and any ending up friend zoned by girls you chased after who just weren't feeling it usually end up not being problems you need spend much effort dealing with.
... and, our cons of brooding:
Approaching (and control) is mostly out. Outside of some very strategic slow opening and indirect game, it's pretty hard for a brooder to walk up to and initiate with women. Street game is out; it looks totally incongruent for a sad man to approach women, and it feels weird to them and nets bad reactions, too. And in parties, bars, and clubs, you'll mostly be sitting around looking glum, hoping some girl walks up - not going crazy on the dance floor or strutting around opening any girl who looks interesting or throws approach invitations your way.
Outside of social circle, you're adrift. Women rarely approach men outside of social circle; they usually need time to get comfortable with a man and decide that 1.) they want to approach him, and 2.) he's simply not going to approach them on his own, first, before they even consider being the initiators. And even if you can find a way to open, when you're coming in low energy, and the girl doesn't otherwise already know you and like you, much of the time this is just too much of a downer for her, and she'll want to get out of there. Which means if you aren't spending most or all of your time in social circles surrounded by pretty girls, you're going to have pretty slim pickings so long as you stick with this vibe.
The kinds of women you meet is limited. Want to date a soft, conservative, inexperienced girl? Well, even if she's absolutely enamored with you, she'll never approach you in a million years, and even if you finagle your way into a conversation with you, she's not going to take any initiative - that's entirely on you. Most of the women you'll meet most of the time are going to be of the upbeat, talkative, dynamic variety - which may be fine so long as that's what you want, but if you decide you want some variety, you're probably going to have a long wait to find it.
You can boil up the pros and cons of brooding by noting that the brooding man gets women going nuts for him and chasing him down hard... in the right environments, and with the right kinds of women. But take him out of those environments, and put him in more anonymous places where he's less likely to run into the same women again and again, and he quickly ends up a fish out of water.
How to be Brooding and Sexy
Being the brooder is all about tapping your inner Byron... the brooder is a tortured soul, carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. But the sexiest brooding men are not soft, harmless, and sensitive... rather, they are tormented, and dangerous - or so they think, and so they'll tell you.
The sexy brooding man broods not because he is inept, but because his power is too great, and he wields it too chaotically - he is more bull in china shop than mouse in one.
The sexy man who broods is:
A danger to himself and others. "Stay away from me," he tells interested women, "I'll only hurt you." And then, they swoon. The brooding man is electrifying to women not only because he is dangerous, but because he is aware enough of how dangerous he is, and doesn't try to apologize for it or cover it up - instead, he pushes women away, constructing barriers that only make them want to give chase all the more.
Often going to say "no" the first time he's asked. When people ask him to do things he doesn't usually do, he usually says "no" - at least, the first time; or at least until he's had a while to think about it. Why? Because he's too busy brooding! Secretly, the brooding man sometimes hopes these others will persist; and, when they do, and they succeed, they enjoy the feeling of having achieved something special - they've gotten this individual, normally so difficult to get, to join them for once. If they don't persist, sometimes he's just got to go back to them later and say, "You know what? I thought about it - let's do it."
In possession of certain "secret" skills. Could be math (Will in Good Will Hunting); could be writing (Jamal in Finding Forrester); could be music (any number of films about the brooding fellow who turns out to be an exceptionally talented musician). Whatever it is, he uses this other creative outlet as a means for expressing all the emotion he doesn't usually express with other people.
Always of a sad, careful disposition. If there's one thing the brooding man does not do, it's "let go and have fun". Living it up is something that other people do, while he looks on - not him. Yet, he's often very thoughtful, because he also pays attention to and focuses on the details the others miss.
One of the more difficult things to do is to sleep with lots of women as a brooding man. The most consistent strategy seems to be creating a social circle around oneself that brings women aggressively to one's own doorstep; guys in rock bands - everyone from world famous rock stars down to backup guitarists in popular local bands - build their lives this way, bringing them a steady stream of women while not having to change their dispositions. Many artists are this way as well - many women go to art galleries and exhibition openings specifically to meet talented artist types, for instance. And in college, there's always that one frat brother or that one friend of the guys throwing the parties who just hangs around and broods, and certain women just approach him because that's their "style".
In my opinion, the brooding vibe is the most difficult one to work with to get women, because it's built on restrictions and depressive mindsets. So, while you can use it to some effect with some women, much better, in my opinion, to address any underlying depression and/or victim mentality issues, and work on conducting the attitude change that will direct you more naturally to one of the other, easier-to-work-with styles of vibe.
Next up, the smooth vibe:
The smooth, sexy man is dangerous in all the right ways: with neither the retreating vulnerability of the brooding man, nor the disarming verbosity of the talkative man, his laser-sharp eyes and piercing gaze seem to bore holes right through his quarry, offset only by his I-know-something-you-don't hint of amusement at everything life throws his way. While some women are frightened by his intensity, nearly all of them are excited by his powerful sense of calm and control, and intrigued to know how he can be so unshakeable in a shaky, confusing world.
The women who fall hardest for the smooth man are the ones who inhabit most deeply the worlds of status and prestige; the social status his demeanor implies catches their attention, and makes them wonder if they haven't at last found a man to equal them... or surpass them.
Same caveat as with brooding and talkative, of course: you must have your fundamentals down, and be sexy, as well as smooth. Smooth alone doesn't turn women on; it's the mixture of smoothness and sensuality that sets a girl's bells ringing.
The Smooth Vibe: Pros and Cons
Unlike brooding, smooth is a vibe you don't have to think twice about approaching with: smooth men naturally approach strangers. And a big plus over both brooding and talkative is smooth's broad appeal: smooth sexy is more attractive to a wider range of women than either brooding sexy or talkative sexy are.
Yet, smooth's biggest drawbacks are a doozy: because the smooth man is essentially announcing his power, dominance, expertise, and experience, his interactions with other people must hew to these domains perfectly. It's much easier to seem incongruent and have it all come crashing down around you with smooth than it is either of the other two vibes.
Our pros of smooth:
Social pressure gets women qualifying fast. Of all three vibes, the smooth man wields social pressure the most expertly and most often, using long pauses, knowing smiles, and unmoving eyes to elicit approval-seeking responses from his conversation partners. People feel less comfortable trying to one up him or harass him (out of fear of being beaten socially and losing face); and women are more likely to start qualifying themselves and seeking to impress him early and often. He comes across as an authority, and people treat him as such.
Leading is easy. Setting up logistics, getting compliance, and leading women (and other men) is cake for the smooth man, largely because people quickly and willingly accept his leadership and defer to him - he seems to know what he's doing, and he does things so naturally and confidently that simply going along with them appears to be the path of least resistance.
Sexual conversation is most comfortable for him. While all of the three vibes can be quite sexy, sexual conversation (like chase frames, sexual frames, sex talk, and sexuality game) comes across natural with the smooth man, giving him additional paths toward rapidly sexualizing an interaction. Conversely, brooding men can have a difficult time using sexual conversation (it seems incongruently forward about making things sexual, unless the girl's led the conversation aggressively there herself first), while talkative men can seem like they're pushing the envelope by launching into sexual conversation first when their demeanors are already being seen as quite pushy.
... and our cons of smooth:
You must be perfect. One violation of sprezzatura, one failure to take the Law of Least Effort into consideration, and suddenly all that smoothness comes tumbling right down - she's seen through the illusion, and you are not smooth... just a good imitation of smooth. That's because smooth men don't [whatever you just did wrong]. And what happens when you were trying to seem some way, and suddenly don't seem that way? You look tryhard - and the bottom falls out from under whatever attraction you'd built. You must pull the smooth vibe off all but flawlessly to avoid throwing off those "incongruent" signals in women's heads, and you get a lot less leeway with recovering from these than either the brooding or the talkative man gets.
Your angles of approach are limited. While you can absolutely cold approach with the smooth vibe, a number of subcategories of cold approach are off-limits: you don't see James Bond walking up to 20 different women in a nightclub or a shopping mall, for instance. So, even though cold approach is "unlocked" for the smooth vibe, you'll have to switch into talkative if you want to access some of the bonus levels beneath it without coming across incongruously.
You don't get to feel as connected. The brooding man is all about driving women wild to peel off his layers and find out more and more about him; the talkative man is going to tell every girl he's talking to all sorts of things about himself throughout the course of conversation no matter what. But the smooth man keeps conversation about himself to the bare minimum; he hints at little, and actually reveals less. This is great for attraction; however, it's not so great for your own emotions of connectedness, which are entirely based on how well you feel others know you. When you're playing it smooth, people really just don't get to know you all that well, which leaves you yourself feeling not all that known (how the other party feels, of course, is totally dependent on how well she feels you know her - so, she may feel deeply connected to you, while you feel only the slightest of connections to her, all because she knows you know her well, while you know she hardly knows you).
An easy way of thinking about the smooth man is as a guy who sits there, chin up, slight smile playing about his lips, amused at how all those other people out there run about, scrambling to live their lives, not knowing what he knows, and occasionally reaching down to scoop up someone interesting and bring her into his life for a while. He gets all the benefits of the seeming power and authority and regalness this confers, but also suffers the drawbacks: he stays removed emotionally, he's limited in how actively he can pursue women, and he's attached at the hip to the Law of Least Effort, as any crack in his frame can make his mountain look like a house of cards, and send it tumbling down in pieces.
"Smooth" is finesse game at its
finest - it gives you overall the
broadest range of possibilities, but requires you to know exactly what
you're doing every step along the way.
How to be Smooth and Sexy
Accessing the smooth part of your persona is about being able to lay back, smile, and trust that things will work out the way you want them to work out, because you know how to nudge them with just enough of a push from your fingertips to make them go the way you want them to go without it seeming like you're doing anything.
It is all about learning game to the utmost, and executing on what you know with subtlety and poise.
The sexy man who's smooth is:
An experienced seducer. You won't be able to pull off a smooth vibe completely or convincingly without having amassed enough experience that you can run an interaction from start to finish sans cracks in your frames. Of course, often this means you've paid your dues by trying to be smooth... and coming up short, time and again, only gradually getting smoother and smoother as you see more and do more and learn how to keep your composure under pressure and deal with perplexing situations on the fly without breaking a sweat. The more veteran you are, the easier it is to switch into smooth... when you want to.
Adept at minimizing his effort and maximizing his results. While the brooding man waits for others to chase after him much of the time, and the talkative man does the chasing, the smooth man straddles the line between, of doing just enough to get people pursuing - he's constantly adding feathers that tip scales. In doing this, he's able to initiate 95% of what he wants or needs without having to look like he's chasing - and then get the objects of his interest to begin to chase and invest in him right back.
Constantly creating and defusing tension. The smooth man is expert at creating tension at will, and defusing it equally at will. He uses nonverbals like eye contact and body posture, paraverbals like pauses in conversation, and his skill as a conversationalist to do so. He also defuses that tension - with chase framing, sexual framing, or light banter - but only when it's too heavy; the rest of the time, he uses the tension he creates to prompt investment by the other party (to ease that tension), or to ramp up sexual interest via increased sexual tension.
Always of a collected, amused disposition. Never will you catch a smooth man brooding; nor will you catch him excited or amazed. Rather, he is always in a calm, cool, and "smirking at the world" state of being - he constantly wears that "I know something you do not" look about himself. This makes the people he meets desire his approval, but fear his rejection - because he implicitly positions himself through his behavior and persona to be of high rank in the social arena.
The smooth and sexy man has little difficulty sleeping with women, though he must be extremely mindful of his attainability - as he is the most removed and least attainable of the three kinds of sexy. In fact, at the upper levels of smooth, you're likely to have a number of women who will auto-reject you very quickly if you make even the slightest of low attainability gestures toward them - mainly because they are already closely monitoring you for any hint of rejection.
Smooth takes some work to pull off, and it's virtually impossible to get right as a novice. But, with time and a bit of elbow grease, it's a powerful, versatile vibe to have, and one of the most consistent for landing higher caliber lovers and friends.
Finally, our talkative vibe:
The sexy talkative man is a hell of a good time. He's fun, his energy is contagious, and people are instantly comfortable around him - he's a real "let your hair down" kind of guy. Mr. Talkative doesn't sulk like the brooding man, proclaiming disinterest and depression; nor does he sit back and watch and judge and smirk and play kingmaker like the smooth man does. Instead, he's there, right in the middle of the action, throwing himself in wholeheartedly with reckless abandon, thousand-megawatt smile on full blast and gobs of happy conversation and hearty laughs streaming forth from him for all who care to sample them (and all who don't, as well).
The talkative man's women most often are quiet and submissive women; although he will also attract crafty women who like both security and to have some measure of control, and view him as a strong guy who nevertheless keeps all his cards on the table, so there's nothing to fear there. He's as well very attractive to women with low energy personalities (female brooders) who are in need of an injection of uplifting energeticness and motivation.
As with our other two vibes, it can't be stated enough: you must also be sexy, and not just talkative. Men who are talkative but not sexy can come off as funny to laugh at, but otherwise annoying (think: Adam Sandler or Jim Carrey); meanwhile, men who are talkative but sexy are an absolute ball (think: Robert Downey, Jr.).
The Talkative Vibe: Pros and Cons
If we were playing a fantasy game, and the brooding man was the mage, with his "hang back and cast magic spells" approach, and the smooth man was the rogue, with his "precision-targeted bow attacks and sneaky stealth abilities", the talkative man would be the warrior - "just walk up to the bloody thing and hit it."
The talkative man has little patience for finesse; his is the bulldozer approach: just walk up to a girl and hit her with everything you've got... she's either going to dig it, or she isn't. This makes talkative the ideal vibe for mass approaching (which is why you'll notice most of the advice in the pickup community is focused on being very talkative), and also what makes it so effective with quieter or less assertive women.
Conversely, talkative men can quickly talk themselves into corners with women skilled at controlling the flow of the conversation, and they can come off as "just another chatty guy" to women who are themselves talkative and/or experienced with life and are more interested in connecting (read: the man getting to know them) than in being wowed and awed (read: the man telling them all about his own stuff, which may or may not be impressive to them if they've already traveled somewhat and done some interesting things in their lives).
Our pros of talkative, then:
You talk right past women's insecurities. Particularly with inexperienced women or women who are in bad moods or not feeling very social, taking things too slowly at the outset can mean the girl feels insecure or not interested in the conversation, and exits (or never gets going, and starts to feel uncomfortable). The talkative man plows through this and doesn't leave women time to let these feelings sink in - thus opening up for himself opportunities with women looking for an injection of positive energy who might otherwise have been closed to a less dynamic, rapidly engaging man.
Approach styles and angles are unlimited. The smooth man only has so many ways he can approach without looking incongruent; and the brooding man often has to wait for women to approach him. Not so for the talkative man; street game, day game, walking straight up to a girl in a nightclub and engaging her, all are fair game. These might not be quite as high percentage approaches as the ones he'll do more subtly, but at least he can do them; he doesn't have to forego them entirely, or wait for the girl to reposition herself somewhere he can more effortlessly engage her.
You can make mistakes and recover. Because the talkative man is doing so much and saying so much, he also gets the most leeway of any of our three vibes - do something moderately incongruent, and it's okay, because you can hop right back on the talkative train and wipe the memory of that mistake away. Conversation got awkward for a moment? No problem - just make it good again. You touched her and she rebuffed you? It's fine - just laugh about it and crack a joke, then move on with the conversation and try again later. Talkative rolls with the punches more easily than the other two vibes, and doesn't have smooth's need for perfect execution of all actions in the least.
... and our cons of talkative:
You'll meet lots of resistance. Unlike brooding, in which more or less the only women talking to you are women who are already chasing after you, and unlike smooth, in which you use intrigue, baiting, and social pressure to inspire chasing behavior, talkative men are doing the chasing themselves, which puts women in a different mental state; rather than being the ones who are pursuing, they are the judges, leaning back and deciding if they are sufficiently satisfied with what you have on offer to move to the next step. That means that many of your efforts to move girls, change venues, invite women home, and otherwise escalate things will be met with heavy testing prior to a woman "deciding" for you (e.g., "Okay - I'm sleeping with this guy tonight") - which may not even happen at all until you're already getting intimate.
Not every girl is excited or impressed. The talkative vibe is based around being exciting, engaging, and/or impressive... only, not every girl is excited, engaged, and/or impressed by this. Women who think of themselves as more impressive will tend to maintain haughty airs around a talkative man, while women who are "free spirits" themselves are generally more looking for men they can free their spirits around, rather than men who are free spirits themselves, around whom their spirits would be caged... there's only so much space between two people, and when both of those people have a lot to put out there, they're headed for conflict.
It's difficult to screen. Arguably the biggest difficulty of the talkative vibe, to my mind, is the difficulty of screening out women who are only socially interested in you, not sexually interested. While the mantra of old school pickup was "any woman can be won", what ends up happening with too much over-the-top mass approaching is that you can waste a lot of time with women who are excited to talk to you because you bring so much energy... only, they have zero sexual or romantic intent with you, and when you try to make things happen with them later on, you run into a brick wall. As always here, the trick is to be constantly moving things forward - you'll screen out the uninterested women pretty quickly. However, as the talkative man, you will continue to meet more women only interested in you for the fun you provide, and totally uninterested in anything else you might provide - it's something you just can't get away from.
In essence, the talkative man is a bundle of energy, enthusiasm, and optimism who can steamroll many women into adoring him with his bullish charm. Particularly with quieter women, or women who "aren't in the mood", this can be an invaluable asset, as it allows you to quickly bypass early awkward feelings and get right to the meat of the interaction - good feelings, enjoyment, and escalating the vibe. On the downside, some women view the relatively uncomplicated talkative man as "one dimensional", uninteresting, unchallenging, or unimpressive; women who are on the fence will resist him much more and he faces greater difficulty getting them to chase; and it can be a rough time trying to figure out which girls love him because they want to go to bed with him, and which girls love him because he's just so much FUN and would make a fantastic fun friend.
Talkative is the big gun with a big area of effect but less laser-targeted precision; it's most effective when dealing with quantity (lots of approaches; lots of different girls) and where subtlety is most likely to be missed (quieter / less experienced / less social women).
How to be Talkative and Sexy
Tapping talkative means taking your sex energy and redirecting it strongly outward. It's a mistake to think you don't need to be focused with a talkative vibe; you still need the piercing sexuality of the smooth, sexy man and the brooding, sexy man too. You just need to be good at maintaining that focused sexuality as you switch from talking to one person to another, and from talking about one topic to another, and not allow it to drown in all your enthusiasm.
When you hear most people talk about being "in state", they're
talking about talkative
state; they're talking about being able to go out, speak a mile a
minute, flow like crazy, and emit wave after wave of overwhelming
positivity. For people who aren't naturally talkative types, this can
be difficult to achieve; but in this case, it's all about building up
enough social momentum that talkative is a natural thing to be.
The sexy man who's talkative is:
Always in a sociable mood. He loves talking; he's excited about talking! He's always got some new thing to share that he can't wait to tell you about. Whenever he reads or hears something, the first thing he thinks is, "Wow, I've GOT to tell people about THIS!" The focus of the talkative man is on people, rather than things - he's eager to communicate, to connect, and to bond, and he's often very eager to impress. He lives for other people, and is happiest when he's right smack in the middle of a good conversation, telling a story.
Not afraid to direct the conversation. Because he's so excited about talking, some people may mistake his eagerness to connect for an eagerness to connect with anybody. He knows what he wants and he's comfortable being in charge of the conversation, though; if someone butts into a conversation he's running, he'll very quickly and naturally tell him, "Hey, that's awesome; we're talking here, but I'll check in with you in a few minutes," and then cut the person back out again, to resume (or not) later on when it's convenient for him.
Adept at keeping things energetic. Even if you tell him the saddest, most tragic sob story in the world, he's going to (loudly and dramatically) commiserate for a moment ("Damn! That's a sad story, man. ... that is sad"), and then he's going to transition from the unenergetic tragic vibe to an energetic one - like anger ("But you know what? You know why that keeps happening? It's because of [some reason]! They're ALWAYS trying to [whatever it is]!!!") or inspiration ("But you know what? You came out on the other side of it a whole lot stronger, didn't you? You hung in there, took those licks, and came out saying, 'Look at me, world - I can take whatever you can dish out'"). He will never allow anyone in conversation with him keep things on a low energy vibe for long - he's too impatient to get back to the good vibes - and if they try to stick to some lengthy, low energy story, he'll interrupt them to make his energetic point and get things moving again that much sooner.
Has a twinkle in his eye, a sly grin, and a propensity to tease. One of the major differentiators between a talkative man who isn't sexy and a talkative man who is is the impishness and propensity to tease of the sexy talkative man. He enjoys teasing girls with all manner of nudge-you-in-the-ribs smile-and-wink type humor, of the "But you and I both know that's true - [nudge] - huh? [smile] Don't we know it's true? [knowing smile]" variety. His style of humor isn't the brooding man's tragic comedy, nor is it the smooth man's under the radar subtlety; instead, it's a bludgeon-you-over-the-head style that makes no apologies for stating directly what it means, and smiles and winks with you and assumes you're every bit along for the ride.
Like smooth and sexy, the talkative and sexy man also doesn't have much difficulty sleeping with women, although the women he sleeps with and the women the smooth man sleeps with tend to be different sorts of women: he gets the quieter girls who are more willing to accept overt frame control, while the smooth man gets the more dynamic girls who are more titillated by a man who can control the frame without telling them he's controlling it (meanwhile, the brooding man gets the women who want to feel like they're in control of the frame, calling the shots and doing the mate selection and chasing and escalation). However, he must be mindful that he is constantly trying to move things forward with women, because he has no other defense against women who are taking up his time only because they enjoy bantering with him, dancing with him, or basking in his energy.
Talkative is the natural vibe for most men starting off with women to slip into, and it's the one that unlocks the widest possible array of approach styles and opportunities (that is, all of them, just about). What most newer guys get wrong, though, is forgetting to incorporate that crucial element of sexiness into their talkative styles - it's what's needed to move the talkative man from being an enjoyable conversation partner into a sexually arousing one.
The vibe you choose to inhabit most of the time is going to be whichever one best fits your natural personality at the moment. Will you be:
- The sexy, brooding man (the heartthrob - Brad Pitt)?
- The sexy, smooth man (the seducer - George Clooney)?
- The sexy, talkative man (the salesman - Robert Downey, Jr.)?
You do also need some ability to switch vibes based on the context you're meeting women in, if you want the greatest range of approaches and women to remain open to you, similar to what we recommend with Social Styles. For instance:
If you're in a very low energy mood in a social circle environment with a number of high energy women, your best bet can be putting on the brooding vibe and letting those women come to you
If you're in a laid-back lounge with well-dressed, aloof women who are posing for social status, your best bet is adopting the smooth vibe and creating the impression you are higher status than they are so that they chase and pursue you once you're in conversation with them
If you're going to be doing some street game, with busy, hurried women who are not in a social mood to meet new strangers whatsoever, your best bet is to adopt a talkative vibe and plow your way through the first few minutes of awkward conversation into something good
You'll find that typically, most men's default means of meeting new women correspond with their preferred vibes - my very talkative friends are all huge fans of day game or big loud nightclubs, while my smooth friends prefer lounges and dive bars, and my brooding friends stick closely to their social circles, where women give them chase.
But I'd advise you to cultivate all three slices of the pie for your own self, so that you might switch from one into the other or the third whenever it's called for. Many circumstances can accommodate any vibe - once you're in a conversation with a girl already, for instance, you can be brooding, smooth, or talkative, and you'll succeed based on how well that vibe complements the girl's own vibe, though you can sometimes succeed with a not-that-complementary vibe if your fundamentals are sufficiently solid.
Yet, for granting yourself the broadest set of options - I'd say, don't ignore any of these... they're all lots of fun.
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