3 Flavors of Sexy: Brooding, Smooth, and Talkative Vibes

In my travels, I've been fortunate to have met a number of different men with different personalities who've all found success with women their own unique ways. One of the patterns I've picked up on has been that each of these men's "vibes", if you will, fall into one of three rough categories:

  • Brooding / sad
  • Smooth / charming
  • Talkative / dynamic

No one of these vibes (or airs, or auras, or whatever term you like) is better than another, though each one appeals to different subsets of women. Some are more popular at different times of life - most of the teen male heartthrobs you'll see in books and movies are brooding, for instance, while the majority of mature (30+) male sex symbols hew more closely to the "smooth" way of doing things - but each can be used successfully at any point in a guy's life; there are plenty of talkative young guys who clean up with women, and I've seen my fair share of brooding older guys who do well with the vibe despite their lack of youth.

This article is broken down into three major sections: one on each of the 3 flavors of vibe. So read on, and find out which kind of sexual vibe is best suited to you - and, how you can learn to adapt each of these vibes for your own use, where needed.

sexy vibes

First, let's talk about the brooding vibe:

sexy vibes

The brooding man is a mouth-watering mix of Byronic flaws and vulnerabilities to women; his weary nature hints at a tortured soul, making the opposite sex wonder what causes his heart to be so black and his face so gloomy and worn, while also hinting at that ever-salivating prospect for so many girls: the chance to SAVE a man.

Because, just as many men fall victim to being white knights dead-set on saving the tragic damsels in distress they meet, so too do many women fall prey to the temptations of the tragic hero who is himself in need of rescuing.

Of course, like any of these vibes, you've got to have the fundamentals to back it all up - just being sad, without also being a strong and sexually desirable man, doesn't get you very far at all. So, don't think you can go mope around without also being sexy and get a lot of women screaming for you like your name was Edward Cullen.

The Brooding Vibe: Pros and Cons

I brooded a lot when I was in high school and college, and high school and college are probably the two biggest times in a man's life for brooding. That's because these environments are the environments brooding works best in: brooding is a social circle vibe.

Why's that? Mainly because brooders don't go around approaching women all that much. If you're brooding over life's callous capriciousness, you're not going to also be chasing down women, and if you do, and you aren't perfect in your execution of it, it's going to come across incredibly incongruent. You're not the talkative type; you're not even the flirty type... so how on Earth are you going to open, for Pete's sake?

You're not. The brooder doesn't rely on opening himself... he waits for the women he wants to come and open him.

Thus, our pros of brooding:

  1. You encourage women to do the work. Approach anxiety isn't even something a brooding guy has to worry about; his women come to him. A brooding man is a lot more likely to get approached by women because he seems vulnerable (a lot less likely to reject them or make them feel bad for approaching), and also because they can tell he's never going to approach them himself in a million years - they've got to do it, or it isn't going to get done.

  2. You inspire chasing behavior more quickly than any other vibe. The women who are partial to brooding men chase them harder, longer, and more feverishly than any other women chase any other vibe. Just look at the teenaged to middle-aged female fans of whomever the latest brooding heartthrob is, whether that's an actor, boy band singer, or fictional character wearing the "most steamy, sexy, tragic, brooding guy" mantle, it doesn't matter - women do backflips for sexy, brooding men.

  3. You screen out uninterested women. If a girl's on the fence, you won't even have to worry about her - you'll probably never or almost never interact with her. Thus, any ambiguity about dating, any wasting of your time on uninterested women, and any ending up friend zoned by girls you chased after who just weren't feeling it usually end up not being problems you need spend much effort dealing with.

... and, our cons of brooding:

  1. Approaching (and control) is mostly out. Outside of some very strategic slow opening and indirect game, it's pretty hard for a brooder to walk up to and initiate with women. Street game is out; it looks totally incongruent for a sad man to approach women, and it feels weird to them and nets bad reactions, too. And in parties, bars, and clubs, you'll mostly be sitting around looking glum, hoping some girl walks up - not going crazy on the dance floor or strutting around opening any girl who looks interesting or throws approach invitations your way.

  2. Outside of social circle, you're adrift. Women rarely approach men outside of social circle; they usually need time to get comfortable with a man and decide that 1.) they want to approach him, and 2.) he's simply not going to approach them on his own, first, before they even consider being the initiators. And even if you can find a way to open, when you're coming in low energy, and the girl doesn't otherwise already know you and like you, much of the time this is just too much of a downer for her, and she'll want to get out of there. Which means if you aren't spending most or all of your time in social circles surrounded by pretty girls, you're going to have pretty slim pickings so long as you stick with this vibe.

  3. The kinds of women you meet is limited. Want to date a soft, conservative, inexperienced girl? Well, even if she's absolutely enamored with you, she'll never approach you in a million years, and even if you finagle your way into a conversation with you, she's not going to take any initiative - that's entirely on you. Most of the women you'll meet most of the time are going to be of the upbeat, talkative, dynamic variety - which may be fine so long as that's what you want, but if you decide you want some variety, you're probably going to have a long wait to find it.

You can boil up the pros and cons of brooding by noting that the brooding man gets women going nuts for him and chasing him down hard... in the right environments, and with the right kinds of women. But take him out of those environments, and put him in more anonymous places where he's less likely to run into the same women again and again, and he quickly ends up a fish out of water.

How to be Brooding and Sexy

Being the brooder is all about tapping your inner Byron... the brooder is a tortured soul, carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. But the sexiest brooding men are not soft, harmless, and sensitive... rather, they are tormented, and dangerous - or so they think, and so they'll tell you.

The sexy brooding man broods not because he is inept, but because his power is too great, and he wields it too chaotically - he is more bull in china shop than mouse in one.

The sexy man who broods is:

  1. A danger to himself and others. "Stay away from me," he tells interested women, "I'll only hurt you." And then, they swoon. The brooding man is electrifying to women not only because he is dangerous, but because he is aware enough of how dangerous he is, and doesn't try to apologize for it or cover it up - instead, he pushes women away, constructing barriers that only make them want to give chase all the more.

  2. Often going to say "no" the first time he's asked. When people ask him to do things he doesn't usually do, he usually says "no" - at least, the first time; or at least until he's had a while to think about it. Why? Because he's too busy brooding! Secretly, the brooding man sometimes hopes these others will persist; and, when they do, and they succeed, they enjoy the feeling of having achieved something special - they've gotten this individual, normally so difficult to get, to join them for once. If they don't persist, sometimes he's just got to go back to them later and say, "You know what? I thought about it - let's do it."

  3. In possession of certain "secret" skills. Could be math (Will in Good Will Hunting); could be writing (Jamal in Finding Forrester); could be music (any number of films about the brooding fellow who turns out to be an exceptionally talented musician). Whatever it is, he uses this other creative outlet as a means for expressing all the emotion he doesn't usually express with other people.

  4. Always of a sad, careful disposition. If there's one thing the brooding man does not do, it's "let go and have fun". Living it up is something that other people do, while he looks on - not him. Yet, he's often very thoughtful, because he also pays attention to and focuses on the details the others miss.

One of the more difficult things to do is to sleep with lots of women as a brooding man. The most consistent strategy seems to be creating a social circle around oneself that brings women aggressively to one's own doorstep; guys in rock bands - everyone from world famous rock stars down to backup guitarists in popular local bands - build their lives this way, bringing them a steady stream of women while not having to change their dispositions. Many artists are this way as well - many women go to art galleries and exhibition openings specifically to meet talented artist types, for instance. And in college, there's always that one frat brother or that one friend of the guys throwing the parties who just hangs around and broods, and certain women just approach him because that's their "style".

In my opinion, the brooding vibe is the most difficult one to work with to get women, because it's built on restrictions and depressive mindsets. So, while you can use it to some effect with some women, much better, in my opinion, to address any underlying depression and/or victim mentality issues, and work on conducting the attitude change that will direct you more naturally to one of the other, easier-to-work-with styles of vibe.

sexy vibes

Next up, the smooth vibe:

sexy vibes

The smooth, sexy man is dangerous in all the right ways: with neither the retreating vulnerability of the brooding man, nor the disarming verbosity of the talkative man, his laser-sharp eyes and piercing gaze seem to bore holes right through his quarry, offset only by his I-know-something-you-don't hint of amusement at everything life throws his way. While some women are frightened by his intensity, nearly all of them are excited by his powerful sense of calm and control, and intrigued to know how he can be so unshakeable in a shaky, confusing world.

The women who fall hardest for the smooth man are the ones who inhabit most deeply the worlds of status and prestige; the social status his demeanor implies catches their attention, and makes them wonder if they haven't at last found a man to equal them... or surpass them.

Same caveat as with brooding and talkative, of course: you must have your fundamentals down, and be sexy, as well as smooth. Smooth alone doesn't turn women on; it's the mixture of smoothness and sensuality that sets a girl's bells ringing.

The Smooth Vibe: Pros and Cons

Unlike brooding, smooth is a vibe you don't have to think twice about approaching with: smooth men naturally approach strangers. And a big plus over both brooding and talkative is smooth's broad appeal: smooth sexy is more attractive to a wider range of women than either brooding sexy or talkative sexy are.

Yet, smooth's biggest drawbacks are a doozy: because the smooth man is essentially announcing his power, dominance, expertise, and experience, his interactions with other people must hew to these domains perfectly. It's much easier to seem incongruent and have it all come crashing down around you with smooth than it is either of the other two vibes.

Our pros of smooth:

  1. Social pressure gets women qualifying fast. Of all three vibes, the smooth man wields social pressure the most expertly and most often, using long pauses, knowing smiles, and unmoving eyes to elicit approval-seeking responses from his conversation partners. People feel less comfortable trying to one up him or harass him (out of fear of being beaten socially and losing face); and women are more likely to start qualifying themselves and seeking to impress him early and often. He comes across as an authority, and people treat him as such.

  2. Leading is easy. Setting up logistics, getting compliance, and leading women (and other men) is cake for the smooth man, largely because people quickly and willingly accept his leadership and defer to him - he seems to know what he's doing, and he does things so naturally and confidently that simply going along with them appears to be the path of least resistance.

  3. Sexual conversation is most comfortable for him. While all of the three vibes can be quite sexy, sexual conversation (like chase frames, sexual frames, sex talk, and sexuality game) comes across natural with the smooth man, giving him additional paths toward rapidly sexualizing an interaction. Conversely, brooding men can have a difficult time using sexual conversation (it seems incongruently forward about making things sexual, unless the girl's led the conversation aggressively there herself first), while talkative men can seem like they're pushing the envelope by launching into sexual conversation first when their demeanors are already being seen as quite pushy.

... and our cons of smooth:

  1. You must be perfect. One violation of sprezzatura, one failure to take the Law of Least Effort into consideration, and suddenly all that smoothness comes tumbling right down - she's seen through the illusion, and you are not smooth... just a good imitation of smooth. That's because smooth men don't [whatever you just did wrong]. And what happens when you were trying to seem some way, and suddenly don't seem that way? You look tryhard - and the bottom falls out from under whatever attraction you'd built. You must pull the smooth vibe off all but flawlessly to avoid throwing off those "incongruent" signals in women's heads, and you get a lot less leeway with recovering from these than either the brooding or the talkative man gets.

  2. Your angles of approach are limited. While you can absolutely cold approach with the smooth vibe, a number of subcategories of cold approach are off-limits: you don't see James Bond walking up to 20 different women in a nightclub or a shopping mall, for instance. So, even though cold approach is "unlocked" for the smooth vibe, you'll have to switch into talkative if you want to access some of the bonus levels beneath it without coming across incongruously.

  3. You don't get to feel as connected. The brooding man is all about driving women wild to peel off his layers and find out more and more about him; the talkative man is going to tell every girl he's talking to all sorts of things about himself throughout the course of conversation no matter what. But the smooth man keeps conversation about himself to the bare minimum; he hints at little, and actually reveals less. This is great for attraction; however, it's not so great for your own emotions of connectedness, which are entirely based on how well you feel others know you. When you're playing it smooth, people really just don't get to know you all that well, which leaves you yourself feeling not all that known (how the other party feels, of course, is totally dependent on how well she feels you know her - so, she may feel deeply connected to you, while you feel only the slightest of connections to her, all because she knows you know her well, while you know she hardly knows you).

An easy way of thinking about the smooth man is as a guy who sits there, chin up, slight smile playing about his lips, amused at how all those other people out there run about, scrambling to live their lives, not knowing what he knows, and occasionally reaching down to scoop up someone interesting and bring her into his life for a while. He gets all the benefits of the seeming power and authority and regalness this confers, but also suffers the drawbacks: he stays removed emotionally, he's limited in how actively he can pursue women, and he's attached at the hip to the Law of Least Effort, as any crack in his frame can make his mountain look like a house of cards, and send it tumbling down in pieces.

"Smooth" is finesse game at its finest - it gives you overall the broadest range of possibilities, but requires you to know exactly what you're doing every step along the way.

How to be Smooth and Sexy

Accessing the smooth part of your persona is about being able to lay back, smile, and trust that things will work out the way you want them to work out, because you know how to nudge them with just enough of a push from your fingertips to make them go the way you want them to go without it seeming like you're doing anything.

It is all about learning game to the utmost, and executing on what you know with subtlety and poise.

The sexy man who's smooth is:

  1. An experienced seducer. You won't be able to pull off a smooth vibe completely or convincingly without having amassed enough experience that you can run an interaction from start to finish sans cracks in your frames. Of course, often this means you've paid your dues by trying to be smooth... and coming up short, time and again, only gradually getting smoother and smoother as you see more and do more and learn how to keep your composure under pressure and deal with perplexing situations on the fly without breaking a sweat. The more veteran you are, the easier it is to switch into smooth... when you want to.

  2. Adept at minimizing his effort and maximizing his results. While the brooding man waits for others to chase after him much of the time, and the talkative man does the chasing, the smooth man straddles the line between, of doing just enough to get people pursuing - he's constantly adding feathers that tip scales. In doing this, he's able to initiate 95% of what he wants or needs without having to look like he's chasing - and then get the objects of his interest to begin to chase and invest in him right back.

  3. Constantly creating and defusing tension. The smooth man is expert at creating tension at will, and defusing it equally at will. He uses nonverbals like eye contact and body posture, paraverbals like pauses in conversation, and his skill as a conversationalist to do so. He also defuses that tension - with chase framing, sexual framing, or light banter - but only when it's too heavy; the rest of the time, he uses the tension he creates to prompt investment by the other party (to ease that tension), or to ramp up sexual interest via increased sexual tension.

  4. Always of a collected, amused disposition. Never will you catch a smooth man brooding; nor will you catch him excited or amazed. Rather, he is always in a calm, cool, and "smirking at the world" state of being - he constantly wears that "I know something you do not" look about himself. This makes the people he meets desire his approval, but fear his rejection - because he implicitly positions himself through his behavior and persona to be of high rank in the social arena.

The smooth and sexy man has little difficulty sleeping with women, though he must be extremely mindful of his attainability - as he is the most removed and least attainable of the three kinds of sexy. In fact, at the upper levels of smooth, you're likely to have a number of women who will auto-reject you very quickly if you make even the slightest of low attainability gestures toward them - mainly because they are already closely monitoring you for any hint of rejection.

Smooth takes some work to pull off, and it's virtually impossible to get right as a novice. But, with time and a bit of elbow grease, it's a powerful, versatile vibe to have, and one of the most consistent for landing higher caliber lovers and friends.

sexy vibes

Finally, our talkative vibe:

sexy vibes

The sexy talkative man is a hell of a good time. He's fun, his energy is contagious, and people are instantly comfortable around him - he's a real "let your hair down" kind of guy. Mr. Talkative doesn't sulk like the brooding man, proclaiming disinterest and depression; nor does he sit back and watch and judge and smirk and play kingmaker like the smooth man does. Instead, he's there, right in the middle of the action, throwing himself in wholeheartedly with reckless abandon, thousand-megawatt smile on full blast and gobs of happy conversation and hearty laughs streaming forth from him for all who care to sample them (and all who don't, as well).

The talkative man's women most often are quiet and submissive women; although he will also attract crafty women who like both security and to have some measure of control, and view him as a strong guy who nevertheless keeps all his cards on the table, so there's nothing to fear there. He's as well very attractive to women with low energy personalities (female brooders) who are in need of an injection of uplifting energeticness and motivation.

As with our other two vibes, it can't be stated enough: you must also be sexy, and not just talkative. Men who are talkative but not sexy can come off as funny to laugh at, but otherwise annoying (think: Adam Sandler or Jim Carrey); meanwhile, men who are talkative but sexy are an absolute ball (think: Robert Downey, Jr.).

The Talkative Vibe: Pros and Cons

If we were playing a fantasy game, and the brooding man was the mage, with his "hang back and cast magic spells" approach, and the smooth man was the rogue, with his "precision-targeted bow attacks and sneaky stealth abilities", the talkative man would be the warrior - "just walk up to the bloody thing and hit it."

The talkative man has little patience for finesse; his is the bulldozer approach: just walk up to a girl and hit her with everything you've got... she's either going to dig it, or she isn't. This makes talkative the ideal vibe for mass approaching (which is why you'll notice most of the advice in the pickup community is focused on being very talkative), and also what makes it so effective with quieter or less assertive women.

Conversely, talkative men can quickly talk themselves into corners with women skilled at controlling the flow of the conversation, and they can come off as "just another chatty guy" to women who are themselves talkative and/or experienced with life and are more interested in connecting (read: the man getting to know them) than in being wowed and awed (read: the man telling them all about his own stuff, which may or may not be impressive to them if they've already traveled somewhat and done some interesting things in their lives).

Our pros of talkative, then:

  1. You talk right past women's insecurities. Particularly with inexperienced women or women who are in bad moods or not feeling very social, taking things too slowly at the outset can mean the girl feels insecure or not interested in the conversation, and exits (or never gets going, and starts to feel uncomfortable). The talkative man plows through this and doesn't leave women time to let these feelings sink in - thus opening up for himself opportunities with women looking for an injection of positive energy who might otherwise have been closed to a less dynamic, rapidly engaging man.

  2. Approach styles and angles are unlimited. The smooth man only has so many ways he can approach without looking incongruent; and the brooding man often has to wait for women to approach him. Not so for the talkative man; street game, day game, walking straight up to a girl in a nightclub and engaging her, all are fair game. These might not be quite as high percentage approaches as the ones he'll do more subtly, but at least he can do them; he doesn't have to forego them entirely, or wait for the girl to reposition herself somewhere he can more effortlessly engage her.

  3. You can make mistakes and recover. Because the talkative man is doing so much and saying so much, he also gets the most leeway of any of our three vibes - do something moderately incongruent, and it's okay, because you can hop right back on the talkative train and wipe the memory of that mistake away. Conversation got awkward for a moment? No problem - just make it good again. You touched her and she rebuffed you? It's fine - just laugh about it and crack a joke, then move on with the conversation and try again later. Talkative rolls with the punches more easily than the other two vibes, and doesn't have smooth's need for perfect execution of all actions in the least.

... and our cons of talkative:

  1. You'll meet lots of resistance. Unlike brooding, in which more or less the only women talking to you are women who are already chasing after you, and unlike smooth, in which you use intrigue, baiting, and social pressure to inspire chasing behavior, talkative men are doing the chasing themselves, which puts women in a different mental state; rather than being the ones who are pursuing, they are the judges, leaning back and deciding if they are sufficiently satisfied with what you have on offer to move to the next step. That means that many of your efforts to move girls, change venues, invite women home, and otherwise escalate things will be met with heavy testing prior to a woman "deciding" for you (e.g., "Okay - I'm sleeping with this guy tonight") - which may not even happen at all until you're already getting intimate.

  2. Not every girl is excited or impressed. The talkative vibe is based around being exciting, engaging, and/or impressive... only, not every girl is excited, engaged, and/or impressed by this. Women who think of themselves as more impressive will tend to maintain haughty airs around a talkative man, while women who are "free spirits" themselves are generally more looking for men they can free their spirits around, rather than men who are free spirits themselves, around whom their spirits would be caged... there's only so much space between two people, and when both of those people have a lot to put out there, they're headed for conflict.

  3. It's difficult to screen. Arguably the biggest difficulty of the talkative vibe, to my mind, is the difficulty of screening out women who are only socially interested in you, not sexually interested. While the mantra of old school pickup was "any woman can be won", what ends up happening with too much over-the-top mass approaching is that you can waste a lot of time with women who are excited to talk to you because you bring so much energy... only, they have zero sexual or romantic intent with you, and when you try to make things happen with them later on, you run into a brick wall. As always here, the trick is to be constantly moving things forward - you'll screen out the uninterested women pretty quickly. However, as the talkative man, you will continue to meet more women only interested in you for the fun you provide, and totally uninterested in anything else you might provide - it's something you just can't get away from.

In essence, the talkative man is a bundle of energy, enthusiasm, and optimism who can steamroll many women into adoring him with his bullish charm. Particularly with quieter women, or women who "aren't in the mood", this can be an invaluable asset, as it allows you to quickly bypass early awkward feelings and get right to the meat of the interaction - good feelings, enjoyment, and escalating the vibe. On the downside, some women view the relatively uncomplicated talkative man as "one dimensional", uninteresting, unchallenging, or unimpressive; women who are on the fence will resist him much more and he faces greater difficulty getting them to chase; and it can be a rough time trying to figure out which girls love him because they want to go to bed with him, and which girls love him because he's just so much FUN and would make a fantastic fun friend.

Talkative is the big gun with a big area of effect but less laser-targeted precision; it's most effective when dealing with quantity (lots of approaches; lots of different girls) and where subtlety is most likely to be missed (quieter / less experienced / less social women).

How to be Talkative and Sexy

Tapping talkative means taking your sex energy and redirecting it strongly outward. It's a mistake to think you don't need to be focused with a talkative vibe; you still need the piercing sexuality of the smooth, sexy man and the brooding, sexy man too. You just need to be good at maintaining that focused sexuality as you switch from talking to one person to another, and from talking about one topic to another, and not allow it to drown in all your enthusiasm.

When you hear most people talk about being "in state", they're talking about talkative state; they're talking about being able to go out, speak a mile a minute, flow like crazy, and emit wave after wave of overwhelming positivity. For people who aren't naturally talkative types, this can be difficult to achieve; but in this case, it's all about building up enough social momentum that talkative is a natural thing to be.

The sexy man who's talkative is:

  1. Always in a sociable mood. He loves talking; he's excited about talking! He's always got some new thing to share that he can't wait to tell you about. Whenever he reads or hears something, the first thing he thinks is, "Wow, I've GOT to tell people about THIS!" The focus of the talkative man is on people, rather than things - he's eager to communicate, to connect, and to bond, and he's often very eager to impress. He lives for other people, and is happiest when he's right smack in the middle of a good conversation, telling a story.

  2. Not afraid to direct the conversation. Because he's so excited about talking, some people may mistake his eagerness to connect for an eagerness to connect with anybody. He knows what he wants and he's comfortable being in charge of the conversation, though; if someone butts into a conversation he's running, he'll very quickly and naturally tell him, "Hey, that's awesome; we're talking here, but I'll check in with you in a few minutes," and then cut the person back out again, to resume (or not) later on when it's convenient for him.

  3. Adept at keeping things energetic. Even if you tell him the saddest, most tragic sob story in the world, he's going to (loudly and dramatically) commiserate for a moment ("Damn! That's a sad story, man. ... that is sad"), and then he's going to transition from the unenergetic tragic vibe to an energetic one - like anger ("But you know what? You know why that keeps happening? It's because of [some reason]! They're ALWAYS trying to [whatever it is]!!!") or inspiration ("But you know what? You came out on the other side of it a whole lot stronger, didn't you? You hung in there, took those licks, and came out saying, 'Look at me, world - I can take whatever you can dish out'"). He will never allow anyone in conversation with him keep things on a low energy vibe for long - he's too impatient to get back to the good vibes - and if they try to stick to some lengthy, low energy story, he'll interrupt them to make his energetic point and get things moving again that much sooner.

  4. Has a twinkle in his eye, a sly grin, and a propensity to tease. One of the major differentiators between a talkative man who isn't sexy and a talkative man who is is the impishness and propensity to tease of the sexy talkative man. He enjoys teasing girls with all manner of nudge-you-in-the-ribs smile-and-wink type humor, of the "But you and I both know that's true - [nudge] - huh? [smile] Don't we know it's true? [knowing smile]" variety. His style of humor isn't the brooding man's tragic comedy, nor is it the smooth man's under the radar subtlety; instead, it's a bludgeon-you-over-the-head style that makes no apologies for stating directly what it means, and smiles and winks with you and assumes you're every bit along for the ride.

Like smooth and sexy, the talkative and sexy man also doesn't have much difficulty sleeping with women, although the women he sleeps with and the women the smooth man sleeps with tend to be different sorts of women: he gets the quieter girls who are more willing to accept overt frame control, while the smooth man gets the more dynamic girls who are more titillated by a man who can control the frame without telling them he's controlling it (meanwhile, the brooding man gets the women who want to feel like they're in control of the frame, calling the shots and doing the mate selection and chasing and escalation). However, he must be mindful that he is constantly trying to move things forward with women, because he has no other defense against women who are taking up his time only because they enjoy bantering with him, dancing with him, or basking in his energy.

Talkative is the natural vibe for most men starting off with women to slip into, and it's the one that unlocks the widest possible array of approach styles and opportunities (that is, all of them, just about). What most newer guys get wrong, though, is forgetting to incorporate that crucial element of sexiness into their talkative styles - it's what's needed to move the talkative man from being an enjoyable conversation partner into a sexually arousing one.

sexy vibes

The vibe you choose to inhabit most of the time is going to be whichever one best fits your natural personality at the moment. Will you be:

  • The sexy, brooding man (the heartthrob - Brad Pitt)?
  • The sexy, smooth man (the seducer - George Clooney)?
  • The sexy, talkative man (the salesman - Robert Downey, Jr.)?

You do also need some ability to switch vibes based on the context you're meeting women in, if you want the greatest range of approaches and women to remain open to you, similar to what we recommend with Social Styles. For instance:

  • If you're in a very low energy mood in a social circle environment with a number of high energy women, your best bet can be putting on the brooding vibe and letting those women come to you

  • If you're in a laid-back lounge with well-dressed, aloof women who are posing for social status, your best bet is adopting the smooth vibe and creating the impression you are higher status than they are so that they chase and pursue you once you're in conversation with them

  • If you're going to be doing some street game, with busy, hurried women who are not in a social mood to meet new strangers whatsoever, your best bet is to adopt a talkative vibe and plow your way through the first few minutes of awkward conversation into something good

You'll find that typically, most men's default means of meeting new women correspond with their preferred vibes - my very talkative friends are all huge fans of day game or big loud nightclubs, while my smooth friends prefer lounges and dive bars, and my brooding friends stick closely to their social circles, where women give them chase.

But I'd advise you to cultivate all three slices of the pie for your own self, so that you might switch from one into the other or the third whenever it's called for. Many circumstances can accommodate any vibe - once you're in a conversation with a girl already, for instance, you can be brooding, smooth, or talkative, and you'll succeed based on how well that vibe complements the girl's own vibe, though you can sometimes succeed with a not-that-complementary vibe if your fundamentals are sufficiently solid.

Yet, for granting yourself the broadest set of options - I'd say, don't ignore any of these... they're all lots of fun.

Chase Amante

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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Anonymous's picture

Could u have the brooding vibe without having byronic characteristics or being hard to comply with? I cant necessarily put myself in one of these catagories, but ithink im more of the brooding type than the others even though im not self destructive or dismissive towards everyone. I generally am a generous person, but i always have a intense edgy look on my face all the time and im generally on my own most of the time. Would i be classified as having a brooding vibe?

Chase Amante's picture


You can have a brooding vibe without Byronic characteristics or being a challenge to be won, but then you will be brooding and unsexy... basically, the negative characteristics of brooding must be offset by something enticing to women, or else you just end up being "that guy who's always sulking, but I don't really care why."

If you go this route, you want to be "that guy who's always sulking... and oh my God do I want to know why soooo bad!! <3 <3"

The brooding itself is only half the battle. There must also be sexiness there, too.


Chase &#039;em 's picture

As always good article chase, but i have to say that i dont agree completely. In my humble opinion talkative men often gets women in all ranges, not just the more submissive ones. Take a gander at Russell Brand or Craig Ferguson. I also know this from own experience, as i have sampled the 3 variaties of men you mention. The talkative man is the clear winner if you use him right, and he will get you the broadest range of women. There might be 3 major personality types, but within each lies a hundred more. My talkative man is most likely a lot different than your talkative man, hence i get different results. I actually have a harder time getting the more quit and submissive ones being the talker, instead i have to tone it down. My talkative man is very witty, and always has something to say that catches the other person by suprise. If the other person is nice he comes up with a clever compliment. If the other person is rude he dodges gracefully and counters, making the other person look socially inept etc.... This is very hard because your mind has to be sharp, your spine has to be rank and your improv and social skills has to be polished to perfection. This is different from a lot of what you write about, but it has yielded me great results. I think social arts are like martial arts, two men dont have to fight the same way to get the same results, therefore i like to offer a different perspective on the subject, a second opinion if you wish.

Anonymous's picture

The way your wit plays, catching people by surprise, countering: that's more smooth than talkative, at least that's what I get from what the article is about.

Chase Amante's picture

Chase 'Em-

Absolutely! ANY of these types can be used extremely effectively. Many of the guys I learned from myself were very advanced talkative types, and of course - social aptitude plays a big role here, as with all of these. The most successful talkative men I've known have, like you, been very witty, and easily dodged and parried and made anyone trying to talk over them look like fools without so much as batting an eyelash.

My experience has been that talkative types can run into problems with ego depletion with women less prone to following / more experienced / more certain women, mainly because they come on with such forceful frames that the girl will momentarily comply, only to reject the frame hard once she gets some breathing room, or to create space to give herself breathing room. Of course, that isn't all girls, and if the guy's frame matches the girl's frame, there's nothing to be rejected or overcome. They're always very charismatic and engaging during the middle game; I give the edge to the smooth guy during the end game, as it's been my observation in numerous pulls with talkative wings that the girls end up looking to smooth guy to decide whether or not to go along with the talkative guy's invitations / demands / commands / requests, and if the smooth wingman isn't there the talkative guy's end game becomes much more volatile (when I'm talking about what kinds of women they get, I'm talking more about in bed than liking them or responding to them; talkative women engage very well with talkative men, but it's a rare day when I see the two pair off together behind closed doors).

Personally, talkative types are my favorite types as wingmen, and I'm drawn to talkative women myself most, because they very nicely complement my own style. So I've certainly got nothing against them! If anything, the biggest advantage of talkative in my mind is the quantity / volume approach… it can be very hard to get rolling doing volumes of approaches in one of the other two types, but it's a snap of the fingers natural-as-anything thing to do for talkatives. For them, it's second nature.

It's a great personality type, and the really engaging talkatives are unfortunately rather rare (but always exceptional and extremely likable individuals when you meet them).


Moonrayarc's picture

I can see how being high-energy talkative can be seen as effortless if it is perceived natural, but
1) it violates the sprezzatura : in the sense that there are no nonchalance, slowness and stillness, which are to my mind, and through GC are ones of the fundamentals of sexiness
2) By being talkative, especially about oneself, normally it is hard to bond with the girl, as the conversation revolves about the guy or some topics not related to the girl.
3)by being talkative (telling stories, achievement, travels...), the guy spills all his beans and stories killing all intrigue and mystere.

Nonetheless, I aknowledge that i've seen a plethora of talkative guys getting laid, but mainly because they proved very impressive through what they had told

Chase &#039;em's picture

I dont know if you where replying to me, but now i am replying to you.
Being talkative doesn't necessarily mean high energy. You can be medium, heck even low-energy talkative.
1) Yes it kills some of the nonchalance and slowness, but it does not have to violate sprezzatura. You can be talkative and intriguing at the same time. Sprezzatura, in my book at least, is mainly about not giving chase. I think James Bond and his stillness, dare i say it, is overrated. From what i have seen Bond is more of a male fantasy than women. The "Bond" types does indeed get a lot of women, but to my experience it is the more free and talkative man that really cleans up. It is not the stillness but the confidence and boldness that is sexy, to qoute Batman: "It is the will to act".
2) You should be talking about you and the girl, if its only about you or some other topic that is not related to her, you are doing it wrong. Also the talkative type should not be talking a mile a minute, of course he also has to listen and the girl should get equal face-time.
3) The talkative man doesn´t really have to spill a lot of his beans. There are many ways of talking whitout really telling all that much about yourself.

It is always good to be impressive. But i dont think being impressive is always about the things you have experienced, the stories you can tell, etc... but rather how well you handle the surroundings with your words and actions. Confidence and wit is a good recipe for that.

Chase Amante's picture


To expand on what Chase 'Em noted on sprezzatura, I'd add that the way talkative maintains sprezzatura is being focused on directing his energy into a passionate, animated discussion of what interests him, while extremely effortlessly shrugging off others' attempts to dominate, interrupt, or redirect the conversation, and taking the conversation wherever he wants it to go. For example:

Talkative: ... so then I yelled at the guy, and told him, "C'mon man, I paid you 20 dollars for that parking space and now you're telling me I've got to be out of here in 30 minutes?"

Interruptor: I thought you were going to tell us how you ended up in Tijuana?

Talkative: [turning quickly to interruptor] Yeah, yeah, I'm getting to that, hold your horses. [excitedly turning back to girl] So I told the guy, I paid to park here for 4 hours, and this guy, you know what he said to me?

Girl: What?

Talkative: He said, "Well I paid 20 THOUSAND dollars to go to goddamn community college to learn how to manage parking garages, and they still won't listen to me in this damn place. 30 minutes - that's what it says on your ticket, that's all they let me give you."

Girl: Oh my God, that is SO ridiculous, I...

The talkative type basically steamrolls any opposition to his frame, which some very noticeable social dominance over others in the conversation, and does it all in animated but otherwise pretty effortless ways. Everyone else gets left scratching their heads at how quickly he redirected control of the conversation the way he wanted it to go (which is something I recommend everyone learn how to do, but you see it most prominently with talkative types, who tend to get challenged a lot, so put down more of these challenges, and do it more emphatically and more obviously for others to see).

On bonding, talkative types tend to rely on heavy use of cold reading to go off into tangents about women - you'll hear them say things like, "Oh, look at that pendant... I bet you [blank]," and then the girl will confirm or deny; from there they launch into, "... so you must [cold read about the girl, depending on her answer to the previous read]." From there, he can go into a story about a girl he knew who was just like her, or get upset about something about her life that strikes him as unfair, etc. The hilarious thing is to watch the girl several reads in going along with and agreeing to a read that isn't entirely accurate, but the guy has her believing it is because he's just so convincing and he's already captured her undivided attention. If they use any deep diving, it's usually to set up more cold reads.

Re: spilling beans, the way skilled talkatives work is that they direct the conversation so powerfully that they never end up in "spill your beans" situations, because the girl is never in charge long enough to ask them boring questions and collect answers that tell her he's just some boring guy. Instead, he's constantly the one on the initative in the interaction, and the girl is just sitting there receiving and responding. If he's doing things properly, he's keeping her off-balanced enough that she feels both attracted AND intimidated and is being forced to run her mind a lot to process everything that's happening (which deep diving also does for you; being a skilled talkative is another way of disengaging her autopilot and forcing her to start spending mental cycles on you).


Anonymous's picture

As expected a fantastic article as usual Chase, I do have a question however. From what I have read from other articles I have gathered that it is best to get her talking in a conversation, not speaking a ton. How does this fit into the talkative type, do you simply throw that rule away? I am quite curious about this and would appreciate your opinion.

Chase Amante's picture


Yep, in this case, you do throw that one out the window. You do still want her talking, but only enough to get the details you need to go off of in order to tailor your conversation as a talkative to the girl. i.e., you don't want to be the guy who just goes on rants about anything without getting feedback throughout the conversation and assessing what the girl's interested in and not interested in - you want to be actively course correcting as you go based on her responses.

If you're a talkative guy naturally but you're not "elite" yet, I'd still recommend you let girls do more of the talking so you can learn to listen better and build up better mental models of who the different kinds of women you meet are, what they're like, and WHAT they like more quickly. As your cold reads become more accurate and you can more accurately spring off onto tangents that perfectly speak to the girl you're talking to, you can let go of the leash on your talkativeness more and more.


Troy's picture


Great article on the vibes we present but information overload. God! I didnt expect the social arts to seem 10 times more work than becoming a lawyer or austronaut. Its a new year and i want to just stop reading, get out my head and just go for social success and get girls. This article just puts another great imformational puzzle piece but the puzzle seems to get larger EVERYDAY THE MORE I GET SOCIAL SKILLS ADVICE. VERY GOOD BUT STRESSFUL ON MY YOUNG MIND.

I have a different perspective on things from before that a man with any of these vibes can attract any women ( sometimes a love at first sight) but it mainly depends on what a woman likes and sometimes she just does something incongrent with her usual behaviour like going after men she never goes for.

My questions are:

1) I am deeply on the brooding side of personality. i have a lot of girls in my social circle who seem to like me but it never turns into anything and the talkative guys are the ones i see get the girl EVERYTIME OVER ME. How do i gradually become more talkative without talking like an idiot?

2) All change happens with gradual exposure so how do i gradually change without going too far and burning out myself?

3) I set 1 of my 4 2014 resolutions to start doing cold approaching. There is a large bus park, nice shops and plaza to go to where thousands of young girls my age go to. Chase, forget the fact that i go to high school and you dont have experience to guide me in this area PLEASE. Any advice based on what you know should be able to be tailored for my age group. So my question is:
I plan to do cold approaching here outside of my social circle but i would have to be more of the talkative type of guy. I dont talk much naturally (unfortunately) but i want to be able to get out of this natural state of mine. Since i show the brooding vibe, how do i get girls with this vibe by cold approaching?

When reading this i got dampered in spirit because i dont want to live a boring young life but the main way to success is through cold approaching but in this article you stated that for the brooding man, a girl wont want to talk to this man, and mass approaching wont be congruent with his personality. I often have fears that even if i find a great girl who frequents that bus park and plaza, that she will be too hippy for me and ill come off too tame and weird to her friends. How do i get over this?

Its a new year and with my natural brooding, i dont think ill be able to do mass approaching and improve if i never get a fair chance to even talk to girls. I tried cold approaching girls last year but with my boring vibe compared to the girls (most of them i see are hippy since they all gather to go home but wait long on buses and socialize a lot) most of them just look at me in convo for 2 minutes then they are looking for an exit and most times just walk away. 1 issue is that i dont talk much so my voice is low in noisy environments and they cant hear me.

How do i talk louder and sound normal?

I dont think its my fundamentals like fashion and looks that need improvement why girls walk away from me as i stated in my last comment on "The Wrapping and the Present" Article.

I have good looks, fashion and a whole heck of byronic flaws. My biggest problem that im putting my main focus on this year is improving my conversational skills, getting people to stick around me early on and maintain friendships and beating my anxiety.

So to sum up everything i show more wrapping than present qualities and im a brooding guy.

Chase, any advice would help make this new year a changing point in my life. thanks in advance.


Chase Amante's picture


When you start hitting information overload, that's usually a sign you need to put down pen and paper and get out and just do for a while. The mind can only hold so much abstraction at one time; and, once you're racking up experience, instead of looking at this site as a collection of tons of separate pieces to memorize, you'll be able to tie all the underlying foundations back to your own experiences and say, "Ah, yes, that makes perfect sense; I can see that now," and you'll be able to upgrade yourself much faster and more naturally than trying to memorize and repeat.

Becoming talkative is all about just talking more and more. Talk with everyone you can: bus drivers, convenience store clerks, people waiting in line with you in the cafeteria, janitors sweeping up the floor near where you're standing… everyone. The more you talk, the more comfortable you get talking, and the more feedback you get on your talking so you know what's working and what isn't.

Not burning out on changes is all about bite-sized chunks: target 3 things to change. Don't add more until you're satisfied with those. Make them somewhat challenging to do, but not epic. Small things - thinks you can complete in a week or a month. Don't aim for anything too far off - you'll never hit it. Also, check out Drexel's new post on New Year's resolutions - it's extremely solid: "How to Achieve Your Goals for 2014."

Cold approaching for a high schooler / brooder - brooding, again, very difficult to approach that way - I'd recommend just start faking it as talkative until you make it (you will, eventually - takes time). I would strongly suggest reading Richard's and Asian Persuasion's field reports on the boards, for nuances on approaching as high schoolers - one of the things I see them doing that I would never think to recommend doing (because it's just outside my range of experience) is talking to teenage girls out shopping with their mothers - they have entire processes down for how they address the parents and flirt with the daughters, and how they get the daughters away from parents, get numbers, and set up dates. Use those as your model, and start off copying what they do, adjusting it as you go.

Talking louder without raising your voices is about drawing out your vowels and really annunciating on your consonants. Instead of "Draw out your vowels," you'd say, "Draaaw oouT ya-ORE vv-OWL-wels" (not quite that dramatically, but that's the idea). It should take you about twice as long to say something as you would not doing this. It makes you much clearer, allowing you to be understood without having to speak any louder. Think of how you'd speak to someone who's going deaf, and just do a less dramatic version of that. Also make sure they're looking at you so they can read your lips - aids the mind in understanding what it's hearing.

Main thing - just get out there and do it. All these things you're worrying about will start sorting themselves out very quickly once you begin accumulating more and more experience.


Anonymous's picture

Hey chase I was wondering is brooding easy to master compared to tge other vibes? Should I use indirect game or use indirect-direct? Also I was wondering what vibe to use in high school or a youth shelter and are there a lot of articles that help with brooding? Because there doesn't seem to be.

Wes's picture

Hey Chase,
what kind of things do you have in store for 2014?

Also, which vibe is good for stores, malls, college campuses, and bookstores?

Chase Amante's picture


I'd recommend talkative for walking around on campus and in stores / malls, and smooth for bookstores. Girls who are standing around inspecting things they're thinking about buying in stores / malls are a bit of a toss up; in that case, go with whichever vibe more naturally suits your personality.

And as for 2014... you'll just have to stay tuned!


George Montague's picture

Excellent piece of writing.

I'm wandering if you have any advice for a guy like me, who has been raised with a religious background (much like yourself), has decided to leave the religion, and how I ought to go about removing hindering mindsets.

I already believe that women are indeed sexual creatures, but somewhere toward the latter stages of my seductions, I start to have these feelings that something's not right, and that I should put off the sex (I'm guessing from religious idea that sex should wait before marriage). This happens despite not wanting to feel this way, and I would imagine that it starts to show up in my character during the deeper stages of an interaction, making myself appear incongruous.

Any tips as to how to defeat and utterly eliminate this blocking-mindset would be appreciated.

Chase Amante's picture


The best advice I have for combatting undesirable emotions of all sorts is simply fighting through them until your experience reaches the point where it disproves whatever beliefs you'd been conditioned to hold before you started having experiences. Understanding the root fear (any sort of resistance, pushing back, or disgust to any degree is rooted in some kind of fear) is big for tackling it emotionally and figuring out what the root you need to work on is - e.g., perhaps you fear that having sex too early will scare girls off, or make them think you don't respect them, or will damage them and transform them from "good girls" into "bad" ones. If you can figure out the underlying fear, you'll have a much easier time addressing it.

Another tool you can employ is visualization; if you visualize the point just before sex, then going through it, engaging in it, and feeling wonderful the entire time, you can train your mind this way to stop reacting the way it previously had been. More on that in this article: "How to Visualize: 5 Steps to Massive Success."


Anonymous's picture

Chase, out of the most successful seducers out there, I noticed two different types where there is the composed, strong confident guy which is probably the epitome of the guy with strong fundamentals and uses little effort. Then there are guys who use more effort and approach more, but the thing about these guys is I noticed is they try to act very "hard" or think they are "hard." It's not about being a bad boy or not but more about TRYING to be a bad boy. Many guys might come across as bad boys but they indulge in tattoos or motorcycles etc. because they actually like them, not because they're trying to make a statement or appear "hard." But these hard guys they wear big necklaces, try to appear very intimidating and try to appear as players by talking about and approaching girls all the time and posting pictures of themselves with girls in a very obvious way. I think there are some similarities with the "smooth" and "talkative" types you refer to, but i'm wondering if these hard guys i'm describing are secretly insecure? I just get the impression that there's significance behind all that behavior and yes they could come across as more "wild," but I would disagree that these guys are equally as attractive as the first type (not that this is what the article was addressing). Like you said, they might attract a different type of girl, but would you say the girls are much lower quality women (especially the dumb, bad judgment ones)? Sorry for offending anyone, I didn't know how else to write this comment.

Chase Amante's picture


Yep, you're not crazy - there are a lot of guys out there who don't quite "get it", or are somewhere along the road TO getting it, but aren't quite there yet. If you want to understand people doing that specifically, I talk about it in depth here: "Are You Trying Too Hard? Stop Trying. Start Succeeding."


lucifer's picture

"however, it's not so great for your *own* emotions of connectedness"

Damn nailed Chase!

Sometimes I lose some respect for women that ask nothing about me and "use" me as a dumping ground for their stories and feelings.

And on the other hand I value much much higher those girls that actually push for a real conversation and value/ideas exchange.

As a note, it's on average tougher being smooth when you don't have a good social circle, because you feel more pushed to find a connection or some "equal" you can talk to.

lucifer's picture

Chase, would you say it's possible to start talkative and then transition to smooth without being too in congruent?

Chase Amante's picture


It is, but it's challenging - it's easiest to do it between venues (e.g., you meet a girl in a nightclub in talkative mode, then switch to smooth during the pull to a little dive bar near your house before inviting her home with you), and it runs the risk of the girl feeling like she didn't get what she signed up for - e.g., the girls who like talkative you may not be so enamored of smooth you, while the girls who would've liked smooth you were all turned off earlier by talkative you.

For my money, if you must start off as talkative then move to smooth later, it's better to just switch earlier on into the interaction pre-venue change, risk the chance of any incongruence, and just use it to screen out the girls who won't appreciate that switch. When I've run things this way, I've often found that girls who were only lukewarm to talkative me suddenly became entranced with smooth me, and those are the ones that usually work out best when you switch styles mid-interaction.

Another way of going about it is combining baiting with Byronic vulnerabilities to get a girls to peel off your "talkative mask" and reveal the smooth or brooding you on the inside - this is one of the more effective ways to make this switch. Downside is, you generally need a calmer environment more conducive to deep connection to do this (e.g., the wind down period after a wild party, when most of the folks have gone home, and you're still trying to land that girl who's been resistant to your talkative style, so now you want to let her see another side of you in the hopes that that's what she needs to push her over the edge).


Wolf's picture

I really think fundamentals doesn't solve everything, I think at certain times your fundamentals won't prevail. I know chase that plenty of times you've talked about how black is the epitome of sexy and all, but im not getting the good side of being black when it comes to girls outside my race.

I will give you two scenarios of how different races treat black people that im apart of and I'd like for you to explain is it the fundamentals or is it the area and the fact the want to stay with their race?

1. In my social circle all the girls go for are mostly white guys and a few Spanish guys, and pretty much not black guys. The area where I work is mostly white so I can see why black people don't get love.

I've slept with a few girls from work, but they really liked black guys or the girls were black, other girls I tried to get either white or Spanish they'd chase the white boys.

Scenario 2. I've been to clubs where it's mostly one race dominant, and black guys like myself get rejected by these other races. I've seen and been apart of it, I would try to dance with a girl and she'd say no, then other black guys tried and they got rejected also, once a Spanish guy comes in they just dance with him because he's spanish, he could have horrible fundamentals but they'll dance with him because he's one of them.

I've been trying to up my game up and branch out of my comfort zone and get women out of my race, but I rarely do. I know my fundamentals are good, I get complemented all the time, they're just being stuck up hoes and don't want to look bad in front of their race.

What I want to know is it my fundamentals or is it the areas im trying to pick up in?

Because if its my fundamentals, I really don't know how I can make it better to battle against these dudes that are the same race as these bitches.

Or can a girl really deny you because of your race and the fact she might not want to look bad or disloyal to her race?

Please help me out,

Should I just try day game?

Will I have better luck with different races during day game? Instead of work and the club?

I really feel like not going to the club anymore should I do day game for a while then go back clubbing?

Thanks chase

Chase Amante's picture


At lower levels, no, fundamentals don't do anything about racism. It's only at the higher levels, where you're just a really charismatic, really attractive, really engaging, really likable guy, that race more or less becomes invisible. That's the level where people will start joking around with you about your race because they've completely forgotten that you are not "just like them", even if you act completely like your race and nothing like theirs, for instance (and maybe realize it and go, "Oh, sorry - I didn't mean to offend you, sometimes I just forget you're [whatever race you are]"). My friends of all other races do that with me, and I often do that with them - race basically becomes invisible. But you don't see that until your stuff is tight. Until then, you've got to work with what you can get (or move to an area where people aren't as racist).

So, I'd say - yes, it IS your fundamentals, from a long-term view - my most talented black friends you could plop into the most racist part of backwoods rural America and I'm almost certain some pretty little white girl could take them home to her parents and they'd be joking right along and laughing with the parents and the parents would be telling them how amazed they are that they aren't like all "them other black folks." In the short-term though, being realistic, if your fundamentals aren't elite, area's going to play a big role, and if you're in a more racially divided area, and you want more experience with women outside your race, you need to get out and go somewhere less divided so you can build up experience faster and not worry about playing the game with a handicap.

As far as day game - very hard to say; I don't know what your area is like, or what you're like in person. Try it out and see for yourself.

Re: your other comments - just getting a small buzz won't kill you; it's not going to mess up your game unless you become dependent on it. For body language when standing, see this article: "Sexy Body Language for Men (Learned from Hot Girls)." Hot girls / flashy girls - of course. It's not "just game" though; it's mostly fundamentals. The best game in the world won't fix crappy fundamentals, especially not with women whose lives revolve around making themselves look flashy - they either want mates who make themselves look the male equivalent of flashy, or mates who are just rich. Ideally both, but you can make do with just having tight fundamentals. See this article: "What’s Different When You Talk to a Hot Girl?."

Re: Justin Wayne, just meant that he uses a few too many longwinded stories and talks about himself a bit too much, and does too many over-the-top playful things with girls, instead of just coming in strongly and attractively, getting some fast compliance, and either grabbing the number or moving them along toward a same day lay. The street approaches I've seen him do take far too long, as well - you want to be grabbing phone numbers in a couple of minutes, rather than 10 to 15, and not going for a kiss before you do, if you want to maximize your odds of actually seeing the girl again. And, girls at work… man, they're just always going to be very conservative about meeting up with people outside of work. There's just too much at stake - women are experts at managing their social circles to avoid fallout where it will hurt them the most, and work is one of those places it will hurt the most. Unless you're following what's in the articles on these subjects, usually best to just leave these environments alone.


Wolf's picture

I don't drink a lot because I don't like wasting money, In the club ill have two drinks the most and feel good.

I don't even do it to get liquid courage, it just makes everything more enjoyable to me and I get more loose. I swear I almost have a perfect time when I drink, I bought a drink one time and this chick seriously came on to me dancing on me right after I bought my drink, I only had one sip.

I know not drinking alot is good, but I want to know does it mess up my game in the future because I end up getting so much more relaxed with a drink in my hand getting buzzed, I don't want it to be a crutch.

Thanks chase

P.S. what's good body language while standing in the club? And should I smile?

Anonymous's picture

You say the smooth man keeps conversation about himself to the bare minimum; he hints at little, and actually reveals less. This is great for attraction; however, it's not so great for your own emotions of connectedness, which are entirely based on how well you feel others know you.

I've found that this style of socializing is almost required for me personally here in Washington, DC. Not sure why, if it's a DC thing, but a lot of people (although not all) that I meet here have no qualms about harping about their experiences, likes dislikes, wants, needs, where they went to school, and so on. The conversation tends to flow much better the less I say about myself and the more I actively listen and tease and banter about other people and their experiences. They really open up and seem to come alive the more I talk about them and deep dive.

But the majority of the time when I interject with my own ideas, wants, needs, expectations...the result is...wait for it...crickets. No active listening, no thoughtful and reflective questions, no real advice, rarely little if ever teasing or challenging me. Little to no initiative on their part to actively listen to me the way same way I do to them. Or sometimes the things I say just trigger another memory in their heads to talk about themselves. Some girls talk about themselves so much they don't even need to know my name... I'm not white, so I don't know if this has anything to do with it or not, but this is what I find.

And because of this, this lack of real two-way connection with other people, I've found myself (after moving to USA and to DC) increasingly indifferent toward most human beings in general. It's reached to the point where sometimes I feel like I wouldn't really care all that much if I had to step over their dead bodies. Like that might sound like a a ridiculous asshole thing to say, and like I'd still call 911 (unlike what used to happen in NYC), but the growing indifference is just so huge. It's almost like being out at sea and thirsty and have all that sea water around but you can't drink a drop to quench your thirst. All these people around, and so hard for me to FEEL a connection with them.

I'm thirsty for a two-way connection. But rarely do I truly find it. The more I learn how to seduce, and the more technique I learn to stir up emotions, I just feel this growing indifference toward other people. And it's in part because when you do the hard work to learn seduction and what it really takes to excite other people, when you start to have empathy for other people, and really understand their emotions, and you become curious about other people and feeling like a detective to drill down into any inconsistencies or take off any masks they try to wear it is disappointing when people do not or cannot treat you the same way. It's sad to me when they don't seduce me too. When they don't ask the same thoughtful questions that I like to ask. When they don't possess charisma and they don't excite in return. I'm by no way yet a master conversationlist nor am I perfect at seduction, I still have a far way to go, it's a mastery process for me. But I'd still like to feel excited by others from time to time, instead of feeling a growing sense of indifference.

And sometimes I have to force myself to socialize, I'm so emotionally detached. When I was young and things were different, I had a strong emotional urge to socialize. I just had to! It was fun! It was fun, it was natural. Now, many times, I just run thru the process almost unemotionally depending the person. If I win and get what I want, meh whatever. If I don't, meh, whatever. Rarely if ever do I find someone that is FUN! EXCITING! DANGEROUS! Unafraid to stray away from the mainstream. Unafraid to voice opinions and have real-talk conversation. Confident in their sexuality.

Socializing here in DC to me is usually is just a means to an end, and it is sad because before when I lived elsewhere (NYC, Caribbean, Europe) communication was so much more two-way and more interpersonal. I felt closer to other people. I felt some level of excitement. New Yorkers have personality. Now there seems to be this big chasm... I long for a new partner in crime, like how it used to be. Ride or die together. But I rarely find that anymore. Alot of times when socializing with new people, I mainly do it just to get some kind of transactional value (ask a person a question I don't know the answer to, etc). Or I just push myself to go socialize with new people mainly for practice, to see if I can excite others, to see if I can bring the energy, if I can try out some new technique, if I can tweak my process. That's the only way I derive reward from it and keep myself going. To get better at charisma. But this is sad to me. I don't want to feel indifferent, but I cannot control it after feeling let down (aka not excited by the other person) time after time again.

Did you ever experience this? Or am I alone????

Chase Amante's picture


Yes, that's a problem you can run into - feeling starved for connection. Usually, it's easily remediable if you use all the tools at your disposal. A big part of smooth is using baiting and intrigue to make women start working to pull stuff out of you - done right, you can make them drag anything you want to tell them out of you.

However, I will say that, when I lived in D.C., that was when I was really only 6 months into going out hard to socialize a great deal, so if there was a difference with other places, I didn't much pick up on it, because I didn't really have anything to compare it against than 6 months going out in my old college town. I do remember feeling like D.C. was deeply impersonal, though at the time I attributed that to running into people I knew every time I went out back in school, vs. often being out alone among strangers in D.C. I haven't felt the same way most other places, but that might just be because I'm better at conversation and connection and generating intrigue now.

Then again, when I look back on times I've been in D.C. more recently, there has been a distinct lack of curiosity by people in things that almost everyone else I talk to is dying to dig in and find out more about - travels, lifestyle, entrepreneurship. It might be the case that because everyone is trying so hard there to be impressive along those same lines (travel, lifestyle, entrepreneurship), no one else is really impressed, and everyone is far more concerned with impressing you and winning your approval than in digging in to understand you.

When I got together with the girl in D.C. I ended up taking on as a long-term girlfriend, I was fighting the final stages of my fight with depression, but I was having a hard time vanquishing it for good because I just couldn't seem to get much human connection going on, not even with the women I was sleeping with (who, looking back, did indeed seem to have far less interest in finding out anything about me than many of the women I've slept with since; though again, hard to say if that's the city, or that's because I just wasn't very good at generating intrigue at the time, which I wasn't). That girlfriend (who was herself from South America - not D.C.) was a lifeline of vibrant energy, and she was very good at finding out everything about you - her conversation style was part of the inspiration for deep diving.

So, if I had to hazard a guess, I'd probably say there's something about the city that makes people less interested in getting to know you as a person, though I'd probably need to spend more time there again and get a better pulse on the city with what I know now to really figure out what it is (and whether it's crackable or not).


V's picture

I've been going hard on this girlschase stuff but im not getting the results I should be getting for the time I've put into this studying this site. Im not sleeping with the girls that I find attractive, sometimes I even have girls im not attracted to tell me they want to sleep with me but it doesn't happen. Im not sleeping around like I should and would like to. Does this mean this girlschase life isn't for everybody and I happen to have the bad luck and not sleep around more than my peers that don't know shit about women? I want to sleep with girls guys go crazy over but I can't get at that level if im not getting poon on the daily and me not masturbating is driving me crazy and putting me on edge. Please tell me im wrong and that I Can sleep with multiple girls especially girls that are attractive. What can I do to get more sex? Thank you!!!!

Chase Amante's picture


I can't see what you're doing or look like over the Internet, but the first question I always ask guys when they tell me they're doing everything I tell them to do and it's still not working is, "How often are you going out?" The answer is almost always something that amounts to "nowhere near enough", and I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that's your problem too. It's very rare to meet a guy who goes out and approaches a ton and still gets nowhere after a year plus of doing that (you'll see it - occasionally - but it's rare).

If you're serious about getting good with girls, you should be going out 3+ days/nights a week, and meeting 6+ women whom you have never met before in your life on every outing (10+ is ideal, and it's a nice round number to shoot for). There are plenty of guys you see in the comments sections or on the boards who didn't have to do that to get results, but these are guys who are starting out already reasonably socially savvy and in places where they really only needed to make a few key tweaks to start doing much better. If you're starting from zero like I did, and you're in need of a major overhaul, you've GOT to be putting the time in. Not doing so is like going to a weight-lifting guy and telling him you do everything he tells you to do, and you've put no muscle on in a year, and he stops and asks you, "Well, wait - how often are you working out?" and you tell him once a week for 30 minutes. If you say that, his response is almost certainly going to be, "Well, at that rate, you should expect to start seeing your first signs of muscle growth in about 3 years."

Tweaking your fundamentals is like this too. You can read all the articles, watch all the leading Hollywood stars with electric nonverbals, but until you're out in the field testing various things and getting feedback after feedback after feedback from one new girl after another after another, you're not going to have any idea what works for you and what doesn't, and beyond what's in the articles here, I can't tell you. You have to take what's here, apply it to yourself, go test it out, play with it, and let women be the judges of what makes you sexier and what needs work.

You will know your fundamentals are improving when you detect a noticeable shift in the receptions you get when meeting new women. Social circle women are all but useless for this; they may not notice major shifts in fundamentals that new women will respond to, because they're too used to seeing you a certain way, or they may even react negatively to things that new women will be very excited about, because they fear you breaking out of friend / supporter roles they like you better in.

If you want success, you must want it, and you must go work hard to get it. No amount of asking me questions will replace so much as a week's worth of time spent out in the field, at least not when that's what you need most.


Anonymous's picture

Hi Chase!

I was reading your articles on female psychology and had a few questions. There was a girl I had chased in college about a year ago that ultimately ended up in me chasing her and her rejecting me. Afterwards, I cut off all contact and deleted her from my Facebook. Afterwards, I could tell she missed the attention I had given her and so I believe she became more friendly towards me. Fast forward 1 year later, she adds me on Facebook. I took a look at her Facebook and it appears that she recently met some guy and has been hanging out with him. I'd like to add her if her intentions were to just be for networking. However, I have an idea she may want me to try to chase her again in lieu of the "new guy". Do you have any idea how I can gauge what her intentions are? Thanks Chase!

Chase Amante's picture


Most girls will add you on Facebook just to have you in their stable of men who provide attention and validation to them. Basically, even if they'd have little interest in spending time on you in real life, it doesn't cost them any energy to spend a few seconds adding you virtually, where they are then free to enjoy you possibly commenting on their photos and status updates, liking them, and basically just helping them feel even better about themselves.

It's a poor substitute for being in the flesh - big part of the reason I advise not meeting girls on Facebook and sticking to doing things IRL instead.


Swimcito's picture

So based on this is it safe to say your book teaches us the Smooth Vibe above the others?

Chase Amante's picture


I'd say it's probably somewhat more smooth than brooding or talkative, though I don't think there's a huge bias. Much of the content is universal (and the book was designed to be more or less universal) - things like fundamentals, value, attainability, compliance; some things are better suited to some types than others (deep diving is most useful to smooth men and least useful to brooding men; storytelling is more useful to talkative men and least useful to smooth men; intrigue building is most useful to brooding men, and least useful to talkative men). There might be somewhat of a bias toward smooth, since that's my preferred mode; then again, I switch to talkative for things like street game and day game, and I will lean on brooding when going out very low energy (e.g., if I am just going to go hang in a meet market and talk to girls who come hover near me at the bar). So, when I write, I generally try to take each of these into account, under the understanding that different guys have different preferred styles, and even I myself use different styles depending on my mood and the environment / type of game I'm running.


Wolf's picture

Chase I really want to know if you can get a girl like this with just nothing but game. Type in (cyn santana) on google and look at her images please. I want to know if guys like us can get girls that look like that without all the fame and money? And if we can game those types of girls whats the best way to approach them?

On a side note, I remember you saying the Pua justin wayne was good but too "gamey" please explain what too much is and I've watched his vids and don't know if I should approach like him, honestly you're the only person I take advice from and everyone else im very careful of.


Anonymous's picture

Dear Chase,

Thank you for this awesome site! Over this past year, I have been working slowly but steadily to improve my fundamentals and have seen my rejection rates plummet with regards to getting dates.

However, I am still a bit unsure how to respond to girls that reject you. I know in your articles you say to just move on, but specifically, what do you usually text them?

For example, I had a girl in my class who I had just met and I asked her for her number. Later, I texted her asking her out for lunch (I would have done it in person but circumstances didn't allow for it to happen), but she replied:

"Hi James thanks for asking but I am very busy right now. Sorry about that :("

After this, she adds me as a friend on this chinese webchatting service.

In these cases, I usually just write: "Not a problem :)"

But, would it be better to write "Not a problem, let me know when your schedule clears up :)" ?

Thanks Chase!

Chase Amante's picture


Right - you don't want to be too accommodating. "Not a problem :)" with that smiley in there is very nice... but it's WAY too "let her off the hook and pretend you don't care when she knows you do." Very attraction-killing.

A much better alternative is, "Cool, no worries. Let me know if the schedule lightens up and you want to grab some food - you've got my number," followed by forgetting all about her. A sufficiently cool message like that makes her say - "Whoa - maybe I got this guy wrong," which won't always result in you hearing from you, but a surprising amount of the time, you'll suddenly get a text from her two to four weeks later saying, "Hey! Sorry about that with my schedule - that was super crazy! Do you still want to get lunch?" Much better than going the overly nice route ;)


Balla's picture

Whats up chase?, I know girls like men older than them, so do you think I can use that for college, im over 21 and I really don't want them to try to use me for drinks. But other than that do you think I can use my age to my advantage or should I keep it a secret?

Chase Im not working at the moment, im going to start doing the rails thing and see if I can make some cash doing that. How long does it take to start getting some income and what else can I do to get some dough without a job?

Appreciate it.

Chase Amante's picture


I'm not sure on age - it's probably an advantage, though I couldn't remark on how big - your other fundamentals are probably going to bigger; like anything, people will use you if you let them use you, so if they ask you to buy them drinks, just tell them no - "Haha, nope, a buddy of mine got a huge citation for buying a keg for under-agers… not gonna happen to me" - then change the topic.

On Rails, that entirely depends on how hard you hit the books, but I'm not an expert - all I can tell you is what I've heard from others. If you're coming in with no former programming experience (e.g., HTML, PHP, etc.), the learning curve's a bit steeper, from what I understand, so you'll have to plug through that; but if you're disciplined, and you're working on it with some real determination and putting in lots of hours, you should be able to have a marketable skill by summer, and one you can make some serious bank on by year's end. That's IF you bust your ass and learn your stuff though… if you drag it out, I don't know how long it'll take. I'd probably recommend joining a forum on the subject and learning from people who actually know what they're talking about - do a Google search for "ruby on rails forum", and a bunch pop up at you right away.

Shirts - polos might be okay, and a plain t-shirt with a sufficiently cool necklace might be okay. Unique and cool is nearly always better than plain and cool, UNLESS you are very good looking or have a great body. Otherwise, you probably want to accentuate with some cool designs / buttons / patterns / clasps on your clothes.

On losing your edge cold approaching… that might just be because you've gotten rusty, or it might be that when you started out, you were a lot more motivated, and you've since lost motivation. The biggest culprit is usually just not being in a habit of doing it… get back in the habit, and you'll quickly find it's as easy as it ever was.

As for picking up, depends on your style, what you're good at, and how well-developed (or not) your social circle is. If you have an amazing social circle with high turnover rates of sexy women where you are heavily preselected, you'll have such an easy time getting laid you'll start getting bored of it. Without that, whether you succeed more with day game or night game depends on where you've built up the most skill; however, for most guys, day game is much more consistent, and the hotness and caliber of women you get there is a bit above what you get at night, too. Re: the dance floor, my personal preference if I'm going to be near it is a section of the bar just off the dance floor, where it's easy to catch the girls just coming off the dance floor who need a break from those guys who were getting them all worked up out there - perfect position to provide them a low-key, sexual alternative.


Balla's picture

1.Hey chase, I know you say to wear button ups but I honestly don't feel like wearing those all the time, what else can I wear and still look sexy? Its also extremely hot where im at so blazers and jackets are a no no. I was thinking of rocking polos, and plain white and black t shirts with necklace. I think wearing a plain t shirt isn't too youngish, but maybe you think different. I feel the plain shirt will make my necklace stand out. But if you disagree I won't do it, I'd just like to know if I can wear what I talked about and still pull and look sexy and mature?

2.I've noticed something, now in my life I feel it's so much harder cold approaching than when I was younger and when I had a girl I slept with on the daily. I also lived somewhere else so I guess dynamics change with girls depending where you move.

My point is I know it's easier to approach for me when I know I have something at home, but it's so much harder to cold approach now.

Besides the fact I was sleeping with a girl 24/7, why do I feel more scared about approaching now than when I did when I was younger? IM talking about even when I wasn't sleeping around. I was still kind of approaching and was more ballsy.

Why was I so ballsy 4 years ago compared to know? I over think things so hard now?

3.What's the quickest way to get a girl to sleep with on the regular? From social circle, night game, day game?

4. I know you say you avoid the dance floor like the plague chase, but when you say that do you really mean you're not on the floor? Do you just lean on the bar or a wall?

I stand in the middle of the dance floor and I want to try something different.
Should I post up at the bar, sit down, or post up on a wall, instead of standing in the middle of a dance floor?

Appreciate it Chase.

Jdolla's picture

This is such a great website with such good info, but my problem is I can't get girls! I don't know what it is, I have a nice body, a sexy walk, nice clothing, jewelry, etc. Girls love my personality but I can't get them to save my life. Im in a depression about it, I don't know if my friends are lying, but they always talk about the girls they get and I see some of them in real relationships. It sucks that I have all of these good qualities but im not getting girls! I don't know what's wrong with me but I feel like an outsider and the fact that im on a website about getting girls (great advice btw) I still suck with them. So I have great fundamentals and extreme knowledge of girls, but I don't even have one not one. And when it comes to approaching women I can't even do it, I suck with them bad enough already, how do you think ill do with some random strangers? It sucks that im so awful with women. I've read a whole lot of articles but still no luck, but the good news is im here ready to work and get girls to love me and sleep with me, pretty beautiful Girls too. Im here to learn chase please help me go from nothing to something (many somethings that is!). Just tell me what I gotta do, my lay count is very low too, im not even at 3. And im in my mid twenties. Please help me out chase.

Chase Amante's picture


You've just gotta approach. If you've been on here a bit, you've probably read these articles:

... outside of these, there's really nothing else I can say that hasn't already been said again and again in these. It boils down to you've just got to go do it; no two ways about it.

It's always hardest getting rolling on something new and intimidating, but just focus on getting past the first few weeks of putting yourself out there. The more you make it a habit and routine to go out and talk to girls, the easier it gets, and the more the intimidation falls away.


V's picture

I just got done reading your (me) article and there was a part where you say you need do upgrade your fundamentals. To a certain extent I can understand it, like buying better clothes, getting more confidence, getting bigger muscles, better hair cut, facial expressions, etc. But how do you precisely Raise them after you practice them for a while? How do you make them tighter? I've been looking at people I know and movie stars and copied they're fundamentals, but I really don't understand how to get them better. I understand with your body, you can work out more, clothes you can buy better brands, you can get different haircuts and change up facial hair. But how do you upgrade other things like non verbals and facial expressions. I mean if I copy what you post as an attractive facial expression, im going to do exactly what you say to do and I will look at the picture and do the same face they do, so upgrading that I have no idea what I can do different.

Do you think you can make an article and help me understand how I can make my fundamentals better and better and how I can notice them getting better?

I have no idea if my fundamentals are getting better, I just know they're good.

Help me understand this Chase, I really thank you for everything.

340Breeze's picture

I have a couple mindsets that I want to convey to new women but I fear my technique is off. It's all about mastery.

So first,What's a good way proposing and expressing your interest and admiration of a new woman in a manner seeming like you don't really care whether or not she feels the same way? Sometimes I truly am generally impressed by a new woman's existence but some of them (especially the online ones) seem to be looking for validation. Or perhaps they get turned off and end up thinking: "I'm no challenge" if I express my emotions too soon. (I feel like they probably say to themselves after I express warmth: "duh you like me I'm amazing!! Next"!). I can't help it, I like complimenting people and telling them good things about themselves but some girls seem to crave validation and once I give it to them by appearing overly impressed prior to the hook point I think maybe I've lost a chick or two. So How to do this both in person and online? How to seem potentially interested and not bored to tears when a chick tells you her story but also appear not all that impressed (like "you're cool but you're still a commodity, so don't get any bright ideas!")?

And the Second mindset:, What about making it appear that you have tons of preselection without seeming too much like a playboy?



Chase Amante's picture


Unless you're well into the interaction or she's showing strong genuine interest from the get-go, you usually want to stick to one or the other of verbal interest OR nonverbal interest on your part, but not both. Verbal interest without nonverbal interest would be paying her a great compliment, but with very relaxed nonverbals and an otherwise not too excited voice tone. Nonverbal interest without verbal interest might include leaning in toward her while maintaining strong eye contact with a sexy expression on your face, but not saying anything remotely complimentary. If you're talkative, you can break this rule, with excited, energetic compliments, because your raw energy about everything confuses her about whether you're expressing genuine interest or you're just excited about everything.

Online, make your compliments more relaxed: "Yeah, that's cool. You've got a nice smile - I like it. So what's your…" These are nice, but they're not so effusive the girl feels over-validated and loses interest.

As for seeming like you have lots of preselection, great fundamentals give you lots of implied preselection, but if you want actual preselection, the best relatively practical way is probably inviting a girl somewhere where there will be other attractive girls who like you present who you know will flirt with you. If you're already pretty decent with women, you can also build this yourself by starting early in the night (assuming you're in a bar, club, or party) meeting everyone, and then circulating around as the night goes on and letting some women see you with some of the other women who now know you from earlier and are quite comfortable and friendly with you.


Wolf's picture

Hey chase! I don't know if my fundamentals are horrible or im really just stuck in the friend bucket. I discreetly and Sparingly asked girls to hang out, I only talk to them at work and like 5 out of 15 hung out with me. I know you say don't ask girls out from work to much, but im just seeing how far i can go. I'd say im friend zoned, but I guess im not because they don't even want to hang out with me, at least a girl would hang out with a guy she friend zoned, we're all cool at work, so maybe they think I want to just sleep with them and they don't want to eat where they shit?

Anyway, what could be the reasons for the girls to not even want to hang out?

Of you can tell me what to work out and change ill appreciate it.


B's picture

This appears to be an interesting topic to many people. Youve clearly identified the differences between the styles but is your conclusion that these types will simply attract different women? If so, what is the reason you tend to promote smooth type behaviors over the talkative ones which is the impression i get in general from this site? These types clearly make women feel a different way and usually offer very different lifestyles so is there not much more to it than that or is there any more significance?

Chase Amante's picture


There's overlap, of course, but you can roughly divide the types of women these different types attract up into different categories, yes. The reason I generally prompt men to practice smooth over brooding or talkative is I find it the easiest middle ground between the two "extremes" of brooding (which has a very hard time approaching and ramping up compliance / taking initiative) and talkative (which has a hard time screening / closing, and is also difficult to pull off for guys who aren't naturally very talkative).

Once a guy gets good enough to start making his own tweaks and figuring out his own path, he's able to read through the site and decide what material he wants to follow and what material he doesn't need. For a guy who's starting out and wants to start getting results as quickly as possible though, I recommend smooth, because it's the easiest one to sexualize and the one that's easiest to control for and make improvements from. Talkative tends to be more stream-of-consciousness, which speeds everything up and makes it harder to make conscious changes, while brooding is just limited in how much approaching you can do and how quickly you can accumulate experience.


Lawliet's picture

Hi Chase,

Doesn't the brooding type = bitter?

Btw, what is your type?

Awesome post Chase!


SBM's picture

So I take it, from this article that the brooding guy typically gets the more talkative, optimistic, aggressive/assertive women, almost "tomboyish" women while the talkative guy typically gets the more sweet, soft, submissive women. So, I take it, I'll have to adapt to either vibe depending on which kind of woman i want. It's funny, cause ideally, I want a more submissive woman, but seem to be attracted to (and attract for that matter) the more tomboyish women due to the fact that I'm a chronic brooder. ( I tend to go through mood swings, either I'm feeling extremely happy and optimistic like I'm on top of the world, or just the opposite, im feeling depressed and fatigued, very seldomly is there a middle ground)

The question I have here is this, should I adopt the brooding vibe when I'm looking for a more tomboyish woman, but go for the talkative vibe when i m looking for a more submissive "girly" woman? Because I'll adopt either vibe in which my mood will dictate which vibe I'm gonna use.

As for the smooth vibe, it sounds cool don't get me wrong, it might work in getting the more snobby and stuck up women, but those aren't my type anyway, and I'm not naturally a smooth person, its just not part of my personality, so I would feel like a huge fake, trying to adopt the smooth vibe, and besides that, I want to feel a genuine connection with a woman (her knowing and liking my interests, and me knowing and liking her interests) so I think I'm gonna stay away from the smooth vibe, as I've tried using it a few times before with little to no success. I think I'm gonna stick to the two other vibes and use either one depending on my mood and what kind of women I'm looking for at the time.

SBM's picture

Also, could you give me an example/dialogue of the type of conversation a brooding guy would have with a girl since that really wasn't covered here yet?

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