In the vein of my last post - 15 lessons on getting girls - this post is focused on short, simple tips you can learn from and implement right away to make you better able to sleep with girls you like.
If you've been at actively meeting new women for a while, you're probably already familiar with or doing some of these... but even if so, I'm guessing there're a few new tidbits in here for you that you haven't heard elsewhere before.
And if you're new to meeting, approaching, and seducing new women, then this post is going to be great for getting you out of the starting gate... with a bang.
Without further ado...
12 Simple Tips That'll Help You Sleep with Girls
Every girl is different… and if somebody tells you that all women are sluts, you can be certain that whoever makes such a claim is both very inexperienced and very judgmental.
That said, a lot of girls are very much in touch with their own sexuality and extremely open to hooking up with guys just for fun… while others are not - no matter how tight your game is or what kinds of frames you set.
Most girls, however, will be afraid to *show* their sexual side to a guy… at least before they know whether or not *he* will hold it against them! So you need to find out quickly what kind of girl you’re dealing with, and communicate that you’re sexually open.
Throw out some subtle sexual comments early on… like:
- "Your angelic face doesn’t fool me for a second," or
- "You're dressed way too sexy to be shopping."
Little comments like this can, when you couple them with gauging women's reactions to them, very quickly help you figure out whether an individual girl is comfortable with her sexuality - and comfortable expressing her sexuality with you - or not.
At that point, you've instantly got a thermometer for the openness and attraction levels of every new woman you meet.
Sleeping with Girls in the Afternoon
I usually avoid meeting up with girls in the afternoon… or even continuing a conversation I’m having with a girl that I just picked up. Simply because the mood isn’t very sensual during the day, and it doesn’t build a lot of intrigue and mystery to have lunch in the light of day together.
There is, however, one exception to this rule: I suggest you always ask girls you meet during the day what they’re up to right now. If you find out that she’s free the rest of the day, and you happen to be near your house… go for it and spend some more time with her.
Because it is surprisingly easy to get a girl to come home with you in broad daylight! It feels very safe, and the last thing she expects is that you will make a move at 2pm and try to get into her pants… you're using the element of surprise, and dodging her preset autopilot resistance response, normally only deployed at night.
You might be shocked at the results….
Smooth Methods to Bounce Her Home Fast
Be it in the afternoon or at night – a girl can never be a conspirator in her own seduction. It simply goes against society’s rules… and, unfortunately for both you and her, a lot of girls feel like they have to live by these rules.
Here are some little means to get around that:
As you walk to a bar or coffee shop with her, you suddenly notice that you forgot your wallet… or that you have to pick up a book for a friend. Of course, the plan is to just stop by your place real quick and then immediately go out again together… but you never know ;)
Does she really not want to go to your place?
Of course she does… she just doesn’t want to feel like she’s being “easy”.
Sound too simple?
In fact, you'd be amazed how often this excuse gets you and a girl alone, right when you need it most. Have you ever wanted to sleep with girls you were out with, the moment you met up with them, and you could sense, down to the very center of you, that they wanted it to... you could absolutely feel the sexual tension bursting in the air - you could all but cut it with a knife? Except... well... there just wasn't any socially acceptable way to get her out of there and do what you both wanted to do?
That kind of sucked, right? You just continued on your way to where you were going, talked about normal everyday stuff, and eventually the tension vanished... often, never to return.
Opportunity missed, escalation window closed.
Well, now you've got an easy way to never miss another one of those windows again.
The Pool Bounce
One nice little reason you can give her to go back to your place is to talk about your house, and about something fun to do there, such as your pool table.
I’ll then drop the topic, mentioning to her that I happen to have a pool table at home, and half an hour later I’ll say: "Hey, I have a crazy idea... Let's go play pool!" I don't say that we're going to my house, but we do end up there… But she also can’t complain that I tricked her, because I *had* in fact mentioned my table.
If you don't have a pool table, you might want to get one - or at least grab a dartboard and set of darts. These make for easy, low-pressure things to do that are fun and the two of you can do together at your home - much better than the high-energy or mentally demanding or too-fun or short-attention-span things a lot of guys propose doing in their efforst to sleep with girls (think: Nintendo Wii, Jenga, etc.).
Ideas like this:
- Pool (billiards)
- Beer pong (I know Chase is a fan of strip beer pong, but I think girls usually need to be a little drunk first before they go for that one)
Remember, girls *want* to be seduced… heck, they enjoy sex more than we do… I get jealous every single time I see a girl orgasm. But they want you to make it all work out in a way where it seems like “it just happened.”
The Bad News About Online Dating
So, all the above is practical in just about any pick up or date kind of situation.
But what about online dating? That's a pretty good place to look if you want to sleep with girls pretty quickly, right?
Here's the thing: by the time women look on the internet, they’re often pretty desperate which makes some of these websites a bit of a leftover-buffet, and many of the girls aren’t going to be centerfold candidates.
A true beauty usually doesn’t need to get on dating websites – she gets 10 to 20 new dating options per day.
If very attractive women log on anyway, they often do so because they got burnt in real life and want to finally find something serious for a change… you will need to frame control things hard.
You will also have more competition online – a stunning girl may well get approached dozens of times daily in real life, but, well, guess what – on the Internet, she gets approached hundreds or even thousands of times... because there is no fear of the approach. Men online have nothing to lose... so there's nothing there to stop them from doing what they only wish they could do in real life.
Every idiot and his brother is writing her… and that’s why a picture is so supremely important in online dating. If she’s getting 100 emails per day, she *has* to pre-filter what she even opens and what gets deleted unread… and most girls will make a snap decision based on your picture.
The Good News About Online Dating
If you get professional pictures taken, the above rule works in your favor… it’s easy to stand out that way because most guys don’t post really good pictures of themselves.
Online game is also one of the easiest ways to sleep with girls… it’s very easy to approach them (hey, she’s just a click of your mouse away), and if she’s willing to meet up with you, she’s interested… so you just need to smoothly move things toward the bedroom.
If you focus on girls who have a *new* profile, they haven’t been spammed as much yet by the masses of fearless Internet Romeos waiting to bombard them with boring, super-long, and/or offensive messages, so you have a *much* better chance of standing out.
And one final piece of advice on online: wait a little while before you go sexual… everybody dares to make sexual comments on the internet.
So while women often perceive you to be very ballsy if you tell them in person that they’re fucking sexy, she’s getting a lot of these kinds of messages online… so in that context, they will only make you look sleazy (unless, of course, you’re hot… in that case, a lot of the usual rules go out the window).
So Now You’re at Your Place…
I mentioned above that you often need to maintain plausible deniability when you ask a girl to come back home with you… and that often involves the pretext of “only stopping by your place for a minute.”
So how do you get the two of you to stay in, and sleep together?
Glad you asked…
As soon as you’re in the door, tell her you’re thirsty and make yourself a drink… then offer her one too. Stay *far away* from her, so that she can relax in your place and not feel like you’re going to pounce on her.
Then just keep talking to her, bring up some interesting topic that you have pictures of on your laptop, put on some music or show her some videos… and most importantly, don’t have any chairs in your room. The only place where you guys can sit down should be your bed…
You’ve heard this before… don’t be too NICE! You know that girls like bad boys… or at least guys who have that SIDE to them. Can you put a little evil, selfish, conceited, arrogant, reckless, rebel in there? Just a little bit of asshole.
Have you seen that movie Heat from 1997?
Watch it... And notice that every single last one of the male characters in that movie has EDGE. Even Al Pacino, who's a good guy at heart… he cares about his step daughter and is trying to make the world a better place – but even his character is one hell of a badass.
Start modeling some of those guys. Notice how they're not sweet or nice or friendly. Notice how they're still very likable though.
See how they speak… how they look at people… notice their facial expressions and voice tone. Pay attention when they are silent, and how they move.
Don't change yourself completely to be like them, but ADD that edge to what you have already. It'll go leagues toward making it easier for you to sleep with girls with less resistance or fanfare... because you'll be the kind of guy women sleep with quickly and effortlessly.
I'd even go so far as to say if you're yellow and blue now and those guys are bright blazing red, go ahead and make yourself be completely red for a few months.
Then after a while it will fade and integrate with your other colors… and then you'll be yellow, blue AND red.
Have you ever heard of behavior modification theory? It’s a simple theory that explains a counter-intuitive, yet profound, truth: you don’t change a behavior by punishing it… you change it by ignoring it.
Why? Because when you put a girl in her place because she’s being a brat, you’re giving her attention… and that is, in itself, a reward. Especially for bratty girls – many of them are true attention junkies.
It’s like patting a dog to calm it down when it barks in order to make it be quiet… it doesn’t work, because the strokes reward the dog and reinforce the behavior.
Of course you need to draw the line at some point, but if a girl is doing something that doesn’t help you to get her into bed, simply ignore it and pretend like it never even happened at all… and it will usually go away.
Acknowledging something means strengthening it.
So, most of the time, ignore it instead - and it’ll be a lot more likely to up and go away.
I like to always keep my seductions one-on-one… for two reasons. First, because if I’m alone with her it will be *much* easier for her to buy into sexual frames… if there are other people around, she has to worry about being judged for that.
The second reason is that as soon as you have three or more people in a group, the entire interaction becomes much more about status games and mutual emotional state pumping…. And often the loudest person ends up getting all the attention.
This emotional effect is multiplied in clubs, where everybody is bouncing off the walls. Club girls are *not* ADD girls, as you will hear so many guys complain… no, they’re getting in state… and that’s what the club is for.
If you think they’re ADD you’re missing the *point*…
…but if you don’t like that kind of emotional hyper interaction, day game might be your niche. You’ll meet the girls one-on-one, and they won’t be in this hyperactive mode.
Modes are crucial to being able to sleep with girls you want to sleep with - pay close attention to this, and choose your venues to present you with women in the kinds of modes you want to meet them in.
How to Get a "10"
This next piece of advice is so simple but it has turned the lives of more guys I've coached more completely around than any other thing I have taught them: what do perfect "10" girls really want?
I dated my first ten 9 years ago, and I still remember exactly what she told me about the reason why she was with me instead of the other 793 guys who would kill for a chance to be with her:
“Because you know exactly what you want out of life and you go after it.”
That’s the trait!
Sure, there are other things she looks for… a lot of the things that other women look for as well, and you’ll find them all over the blog. But that is the one thing that a woman with literally *infinite* choice in men looks for.
I told this to one student of mine and he became a successful photographer and music producer as a result… and his dating life exploded as a mere side-effect. Think long and hard about this… what does your ideal life look like?
Then go create it... and the women will follow.
Know Your Stats
I have stressed time and time again how important it is to talk to a lot of girls… here’s another good reason to play the numbers.
Once you’ve collected a couple of hundred phone numbers, you will know your stats! And once you know your stats, you have a sure-fire way to get laid AT WILL…
Let’s say for example that one out of three girls you approach gives you her number… it might be 4 out of 5 girls, if you approach them in a well-lit mall on a Saturday, or 1 out of 5 if you hit on them in a rushed, dark train station on a Tuesday morning… but let’s just go with 33% for the sake of easy math.
Now, let’s say that out of every six phone numbers you get, one girl ends up sleeping with you… again, these numbers might be a lot higher if you meet them in a venue where you have a lot of time with them, or if you get introduced to them… but just for the sake of math, let’s say one in six.
So that means that you end up having sex with one out of every 18 girls you approach… How easy is it to get laid now? Just go out and talk to 18 girls… and you will end up sleeping with one guaranteed. It’s a statistical certainty (so long as you keep approaching, of course - maybe you're 0 for 18 on the first set, but 2 for 18 on the next set of 18 girls. That's just kind of how statistics goes).
Another big benefit of knowing your stats is that you can then stop going out with the goal of seducing the very next girl you approach… rather, your goal is now to FIND OUT whether or not the next girl you approach is the ONE out of the 18 that will be game… or not.
This takes all the pressure of the approach and allows you to relax… which will, in turn, improve your stats. In fact, there are a million ways to improve your stats… and this blog is chalk full of them… so keep reading.
But whatever you do, talk to a lot of girls, count the approaches, the phone numbers and the hook-ups and calculate your “conversion rate” toward sleeping with girls… it will be invaluable.
And it'll make getting yourself up off the couch and out the door approaching a lot easier, and a lot less of a chore.
Onward and upward,