You’ve met a girl, hit it off, and invited her to leave with you.
But then she tells you “I have to find my friends!” Don’t fret – there
are several ways to handle this.
One of the most bone-chilling things a girl you’ve made a lot of headway with in a bar, at a party, on a beach, or in a shopping mall can tell you when you ask her to go somewhere with you is “I have to find my friends!”
It signals a likely end to this beautiful courtship you’ve enjoyed with her. Either she is going to go and not come back... or you are going to go with her and follow her around like a puppy dog for a bit, until her friends decide it is time to go and she leaves (without you).
It totally sucks. You thought you were doing great with her. But now she “has to find her friends.”
How do you handle this obstacle with finesse, and not lose the girl?
Comments
experienced?
Hi Chase,
you wrote "If she’s inexperienced, she’s been with enough guys that leaving with a new guy is not a big deal to her."
Shouldn't that mean "if she's experienced......" or didn't I get the meaning of this paragraph?
T
Typo
Ah, right you are, T. Good eyes, and cheers for the catch - just corrected.
-Chase
1. Could you describe the
1. Could you describe the process of successfully taking a girl home I'm these situations?
I can't Imagine how to handle a girl keep talking about her friends or her friends calling her trying to find her, they might think she got kidnapped. It seems hard to be able to take a girl from her friends and back to your place or her place, while her friends are in the club.
What would the process be for a beginner ?
2. What if her friends do call looking for her and try to get her back and call her phone to make her leave you. How do you handle that?
Pulling in "I Have to Find My Friends" Scenarios; Friend Calls
SZ-
The process is as described in the post.
With the second way to handle this, you go, find her friends, smile/wave at them, make very light/minimal chat/introduce yourself if necessary (if the friend goes for the intro or your girl introduces you); don't do it if you don't need to; you don't want to get drawn into extraneous conversation. Let your girl say her piece to the friend; then, when she looks like she's done, or when the allotted time is up, just ask her "Ready?" and get her out of there when she says "Yes."
With the third option, when she comes back, you just tell her "Shall we?" or "Let's bounce."
Make sure she likes you enough to handle it.
If she gets uncertain / starts to waffle, tell her what to do (e.g., "Tell your friends you'll be back in 30 minutes"). If she can't do that, and she's on the phone, have her hand you the phone and you talk to the friends (e.g., "Hi there! This is SZ, the really fun, cool guy Lana is with") and answer any of their questions until they're satisfied their friend is in good hands (requires a certain level of phone game, of course - practice yours on women you meet if yours isn't all there yet).
Chase
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