When Your Relationship is Comfy but You Still aren't Happy

Hey Chase,

You mention that once you accumulate enough lays you will not be able to be monogamous. What is this threshold exactly, can you give me a ballpark figure? Like 100+ lays?

The thing is, I wanna get good with women. I wanna be able to get a high quality woman whenever I want to, with relative ease. But also at some point I wanna get married and raise children. I don't wanna cheat (although I cheated gfs before) my wife. Because I think sooner or later she may find out and you might get a divorce. And I don't want a dysfunctional family where the dad is a cheater, the mom is unhappy and the parents are divorced.

This might be a moot question because I'm still a long way off from my ideal level I think. Still, if you could shed light on this issue I'd be much obliged :)

Hey Chase,

Great article !

This reminds me of a question
Re: Vulnerable man vs. macho man

Most guys would think "gotta be strong and macho" but as you address in vulnerability article, it's important to have a little vulnerability (or as you say feminine) to be relatable to women and it's also intriguing.

Question is two fold, When should we switch to show our V (we can feel) and when to go M?
Second is, how does this differ in relationships (as I believe we can't m all the way) vs. "meeting, dating, and not slept yet, or slept a few times"

Re: What about in pertaining her behaviour?
In "When she's acting superior or rude", you say we flirt and escalate when they act rude and superior (but is attracted ofc) as shown in her "friend" objection example in that article.

But most guys say "I need to draw the line. Ain't taking shit like this" (aka macho).
So concept wise, when is which? If there's a good rulue of thumb for a variety of situations in seduction.

Re: A possible exception from my observation
Would love your insight if I'm onto something.

To express V instead of being M to her rudeness.
So let's say she insults you or acts rude and superior.

Generally, could we express vulernable honest emotions to certain behaviour that would be good for attraction or bringing the interaction back on track (good for attraction / bonding)? As opposed to "I'm strong, impenetrable and feel nothing from this" (aka macho)

With an specific example for exception:
She was in AR. But texts me out of nowhere after a year.
Idk what this means but I followed your article on "if she texts out of nowhere to meet" though she texted an apology "for being cold" instead of asking me out.

So I asked her what she's up to nowadays and you that, following that article
Then followed by with invite to go get coffee and warm up again (play on words with "cold").

Her: you're ded to me

I didn't see this coming. Now I know the whole macho man, high status man wouldn't be emotional sap 24/7 and that's what I did

Me: Well didn't really know you're into necrophilia but great, have a good day!

And nexted like a macho man who shrugs it off.

But in retrospect, this seems like appropriate situation to show emotions, namely V.
Not directly but maybe using a little playful improv to suggest that hurts?

Me: well if only my emotional brain remained ded after reading that text
using "ded"

You probably can come up with a better reply but do you get what I mean?
Something that suggest "Hey I'm human too" but isn't value damaging in certain situations, might be a useful tool for diffusing tough situations in seduction.

Maybe, what do you think Chase?
No macho o macho 24/7 as most guys think haha

Lawliet

Hello Chase,

Kinda didn't want to write this, but thought maybe you can help.

What is one to do when they work hard, but did not improve in life at all over many years?

I'm in a position right now, where I'm losing my mind, it's scary, I'm afraid.

My life now I haven't really envisioned much, I thought I would have a better job, and more things at least, but yet this is hard for me.

For the past few years, I've had nothing but jobs I could never make any moves with, and every time I got close, I had to quit because the bosses there treated me terrible. I've applied to who knows how many jobs, in many years I never got one. I put different keywords in my resume, I purchased big interview, I even talked to the head people of the jobs, made friends with them, and have still not have gotten the job.

I read your posts about making money, and that's all well and good, but even your one point of advice to apply to retail to just get a job, well that hasn't worked either, the past retail jobs I've had paid below anything where I could make any kind of moves, I got paid shit, and had to leave those jobs. Your advice on skills is great, but I need money now, but no one is hiring me, for years I have been going through this, I never had a full time job, and me getting older is getting to me. Things are taking way too long, and if I can't accomplish something as easy as finding a full time job, what else can I do?

I have been stuck in the same position, actually I'm in a worse position because i have a lot of debt.

Since I couldn't keep my shitty jobs because I was tested wrong, I has to go into debt in order to survive. Now I have a ton of debt, and no type of job will hire me. I cannot do anything with the low pay and part time, I was refused full time at my previous jobs, and other jobs I looked at never called me back.

I'm at the point where I don't want to have people control my life and want to be my own boss.

I'm also still in the same situation with girls as well.

So here I am it's been many years that I have been trying to get somewhere in life, but I have pretty much have lost my will, I'm beyond depressed and question my existence.

You don't know how bad it feels when you see people succeed and you are no where near there and how young they are.

Makes you feel like total shit, I question myself, am I supposed to be here, I'm just wasting my life. It's said, but I feel that way.

I never had goals of becoming some famous person, I always was told going to college and getting a good job was the way, but I realize it's not, but not until I was older.

There comes a time, where pushing for success doesn't work anymore. I've been pushing for many many years, with work and women.

It's gotten to the point where I'm broke as hell. I'm tired of it.

I honestly don't know what I can do, but I need to do something quick, it has to be quick because I've been struggling for far too long, I can't struggle anymore, I already did that. I want to change this in the next 3 months.

It's been 5 years with no improvement, I feel like giving up on myself and just not doing anything. I'm at the point where, if I couldn't do something simple in 5 years, what hope is there for me?

I'm starting to feel maybe I'm not supposed to be successful and to be a failure, tears go down my face as I say this.

I'm trying so hard to just get started, who can't get a fulltime job!? How hard is that ? I must be a failure if i can't do it.

I never had crazy dreams or anything, but I want to work from myself and never have someone control my destiny, I want cars nice cars, I want many women, I want to be successful, but it's getting to me.

I was reading one of your past articles too about settling down where you said .

"One parting note on giving up on your dreams, however: I advise that, if you’re young, you do everything in your power to have your dreams already well in motion by the time you are 30 years old. People don’t give up their dreams so much as revise their expectations downward as they grow older, and if you want to prevent yourself from doing this, you need to already be in a place by 30 that you will still feel like your dreams at 20 were realistic. Same thing for the dreams you have at 30; make sure you’re in a position by 40 for these to feel like they’re reasonably on the way toward completion, if you still want to be able to hang onto those dreams by 40 and not have to scale them back."

What if your dreams came later? Can you still succeed? Despite age?

I never knew I wanted to work for myself until this year, I always thought I would get with a company and retire, but after seeing that I can't even get a full time retail job, or keep a part time one without the bosses coming for me, I want to work for myself.

I'm no spring chicken tho, so it scares me.

I know I wrote a lot, so I'll just summarize what I said.

1. What do you do when you have been giving your hardest efforts, busting your was, but for years no matter how much you pushed through you didn't even partially succeed?

What do you do to change this if you have been dealing with this for the past many years?

2. How do you feel you're not worthless and mean something? You have a reason to live, a reason to succeed in life?

Thank you so much Chase

So my recent outing was complete shit.

There were so many guys, and not enough girls.
I know you say not to look around for girls, but I was in hunting mode, I needed me some.

So I grabbed a couple of girls whispered some things to them, rejected. Tried dancing with some rejected, fuck.

Then I saw maybe two other girls who were slightly attractive, but I could tell by their attitudes and how they played other men, that it would be a waste of time.

I'm thinking to myself, how can I get better if their aren't any chicks here? And they're nothing but thirsty lame dudes all over?

I know you said those areas are good for me, but how?

Not many cute girls, mostly unattractive girls, hella thirsty lames.

I don't know how to improve so the girls can focus on me and not them.

Should I wear more flashy stuff? I think I wouldn't because I am alone out here.

Anyway, So I left and walked around, I tired to get the girls looking at me with my fundamentals( slow walk, powerful walk, etc.) Didn't get one look or invitation.

So I have no idea how to improve fundamentals, I felt I was walking slow and strong enough, but these hoes were too occupied with themselves and they're cheap was dresses to come to me.

I didn't know what the hell I could say to get them to come over to me and give me some play, plus they were in groups.

It sucks when they don't show you any attraction, I even looked at them to get them looking at me.

Amy tips on how I can solve those two situation I went through?

I feel like I need to be a celebrity to get any of these club girls, if not tell me what can i do?