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Have you ever had a night out with a girl that really made you feel like a man?
If you are anything like me, it made you feel like you could conquer mountains. All the amazing things about being a man are amplified tenfold when a woman helps you remember that you ARE indeed a man. It is an intoxicating mix of sensations that helps you notice the contrasts of life that at other times blur together, and it releases all that dopamine and those feel-good hormones that make you feel like you have purpose.
You appreciate the fact that you are a man, and it rouses a deep sense of pride in you.
Having her on your arm, laughing, smiling and trusting, you strengthen your sense of self like nothing else.
Now imagine that all these effects also happen to a woman when you help her to feel like one. On a scale of one to ten, how likely do you think it is she will give you her number, a date, a kiss, follow you in a sexual relationship? Will she hold up limitless resistance and string you along? Forget about it! She would not waste an OUNCE of that perfect feeling. She will want to breathe you in and be intoxicated by this world of womanhood you have allowed her to enter, and she will be grateful.
Women are truly beautiful creatures, and this is never more apparent than when you are a man who can make a girl come ALIVE into her womanly whiles.
Comments
Making her feel like a woman
First off, great article Cody. The topic is original and well written.
Now, my question is this: When you are just getting to know a girl, how do you make her feel like a woman without coming off as too desperate and needy?
The reason I ask this is because I feel that in a lot of situations telling a girl that you "need her" or selflessly opening up would potentially make you look weak. Also, the attitude of taking girls emotions more seriously seems to go against chase's old mantra "girls are cute and silly" Could you shed some light on this?
Thanks,
Ryan
Cute and silly is good, but
Cute and silly is good, but there are times you can slow it down a little and give her a glimpse of feeling like a woman with you and it will deepen the connection.
Personally, I employ it during conversations, so maybe a few minutes in, so thats after you get her reasonably settled and following your lead. Mine is in the form of comments, body language and how I lead things.
Timing is always important though so you want to make sure she is not on any kind of high horse when you do it. Check for crossed arms and uptight body language because that might be a no go if you are newer to it.
Just try to feel it out, and squeeze this in when she is close to, or already has given you some credit.
But always keep that girls are silly thing handy incase she bucks you off ;)
I really like your style.
Great article, man.
Found the spinning a girl in place moment very congruent with who I am.
"I love it when you giggle like that, you're such a woman." Even more congruent...
Was interested in knowing how long you've been in the PU community, Cody?
-B
Glad this suits your style, I
Glad this suits your style, I really favor it myself as it creates a really nice atmosphere
I've been around for about 8 years-ish
Great article mate, thanks
Great article mate, thanks for insights
Thanks for the
Thanks for the props
Appreciated :)
Some help please
Hey Chase, great article as always. I have this situation with this girl that a like a lot and she is the perfect girlfriend material ( good girl, great grades, likes to party but not too much, etc.). So we we're talking by text and I thought it wasn't going very well, and last friday I went to a college party that she was going too, and she kept texting me to find me in the party and when we were together she would grind on me, we would hold hands and I managed to isolate her from her friends, however when I tried to kiss her she turned her face away, not in disgust, she wasn't ready yet. So then she had to go home and I let her go to her friends. Fast forward 4 days and we had a an awkward conversation like there was no spark at all, and I noticed that she was waiting on me to ask her for a date which I didn't. That night we were texting and I said we have to grab a coffee next week, and she replied "We'll see that", and asked if I was going to a freshmen dinner that she was going to (we met in a freshman dinner) and I replied that i didn't know if i was going and she tried to persuade me into going. The next day I texted her that I wouldn't make it to the dinner, and asked her if she wanted to grab a coffee. Today, one day later she hasn't returned my text and I'm freaking out wondering why she hasn't texted me back and what I did wrong.
Sorry for the long post and I can't wait to hearing back from you!!
P.S. I'm Portuguese so pardon me for my English.
Re: Help
Hey Hugo,
Don't freak out too much, don't chase her by texting her from this point on. Give the situation some space and some time. Pursue other women in the meantime. Once there has been some time, revisit the situation. Ping her through a text like, "Hey "name", hope your week has been good. :)" Gauge her interest if she responds warmly ask her out. If she doesn't respond at all move on. By not chasing women you show them that you have more options. This as a result makes you come off as more appealing to women.
Take care,
Just Dave
Applied it
Hey, Cody,
Your style is fabulous, now I understand why girls really are intrigued by your presence. If I was a girl I would most likely have sex with you and blame you for making me pregnant to keep you near me, cause your outlook on life is unique and useful. ;)
This message got so long, but I needed to tell you this.
Once earlier I have read your article on shyness. It was about "is it fear or is it care?" kind of thing.
I always recognized my fear as weakness, but I got mentally obsessed over your idea that "fear is not weakness, it shows that you care" and this way I understood a lot.
...While I was thinking that fear to look bad in front of other students and teachers was a weakness, with your help I understood what it really was - it was the fact that I was more vigilant, cared more about stuff and got better grades because of it.
This way I learned much more from classes than others who didn't care. It was not fear, it was that I care.
...While I was thinking that fear to approach girls was weakness, now I see that it is not. It is the fact that I care to look good, so I know I need to upgrade myself and have some actionable plan on what fundamentals to work on. And I am getting better at them day by day closer to the version of me I really want to be.
This got me thinking so much that I dealt with it.
Current article about making her feel like a woman revealed me something I have been doing unconsciously. Those girls that others do call bitches are mostly warm around me cause I simply make them feel like I appreciate them for their flaws, humanity, fragile nature of a girl, but I also see those sexual beasts who want to be led in bed and they melt for this... I always thought it was some kind of my special aura that other guys simply didn't have.
With new found energy I developed bizarre at first glance, but actually working plan on developing myself. It's all about things I daily do.
...When I see some habit I want to throw out I don't go on willpower game anymore. I just see what benefits I get from it like "it makes me feel less nervous" or "it gives me pleasure X" and try to find better alternative. This way benefits stay but I get more healthy habits. And I don't go on "just don't do *that bad habit*", I focus on good habit and that bad one simply doesn't get attention and disappears, because I get the same needs met other way. I don't need social media all the time, so I decide that checking messages and replying 3 times a day (or at least not more often than with an hour gap between checking) is more than enough to get the same needs met and I have more focus left for other pursuits.
...When I see some habit I want to implement I don't pretend that I can extend my day. I know it's 24 hours and I need to make trade. One habit traded with another. So I choose what I'm about to lose temporarily to make better thing happen.
The strangest thing I noticed on forming new habits is that when I tell myself "I will read book today for 3 hours" I don't even start doing it at all. But when I say "I will be fine with 5 minutes of reading this book, If I do it I will be champion." I find myself reading it for at least an hour and after it feeling like champion who conquered five worlds. And gradually emotions get happy to read books.
We plan so big and get scared when actually all we need is to say that tiny step in correct direction will be enough:
It's not about approaching 1000 girls this year, it's about approaching that one I like today.
It's not about reading for 3 hours, it's about reading for 5 minutes (actually making yourself to read at all and feel some kind of instant gratification). When I read those 5 minutes - I congratulate myself for good job.
When I approach one girl - I tap myself for being awesome, for improving so well. This calms down my emotions and pushes me to do more of it, cause it feels so pleasurable despite rejections... Which hurt, but in a way that I get so crazy about it that I want to fix issues as soon as I can, which is good thing... When earlier I would call it a weakness.
And still I feel uncomfortable about many messy fundamentals, but I know this discomfort is useful, cause it pushes me to act on them. When earlier it would push me to hide my soul from threats of rejection and close myself from everything.
This month I see a cute girl, I may not approach her I may approach and either make her smile with compliment or open like a friend fooling people around thinking that we know each other already, but at least in every case ask myself "What could I bring to her life?" not the "She should love me for me" stuff that plagues most men...
This makes me think about the side of life I can make changes on: improving fundamentals, improving social life - getting used to hanging out with people and doing interesting stuff, so that I got some ideas for dates to make them simple but memorable.
That's awesome when you finally feel that you can make a change, that you don't need to wait for destiny to fix your life. And it's not some fleeting feeling, it's awareness of this fact.
This way I got meaning in my life and in every tiny action I ask myself "Why are you doing THIS?"... And then either I do thing that benefits me more or get more efficient and effective at what I do :)
And I have one question: How do you think how much of "sweetness" man should have? When you're completely rude you push people away and while working on willpower you run out of gas and get angry..., but when you're absolutely nice guy you make them disrespect you and get lazy quickly waiting for life to give you what you want.
What is the proper balance there in your opinion?
Firstly, it was a delight to
Firstly, it was a delight to get to hear about your progress. You are hitting all the right cues, and progressing in a wise way that will enable you deeper connections in the end, of the kind I've found most valuable. Girls that love and respect you, as much as find you appealing, in your life is something I'd never trade for quicker results etc.
So when it comes to your question, I'll absolutely give you what I can.
"And I have one question: How do you think how much of "sweetness" man should have? When you're completely rude you push people away and while working on willpower you run out of gas and get angry..., but when you're absolutely nice guy you make them disrespect you and get lazy quickly waiting for life to give you what you want.
What is the proper balance there in your opinion?"
I know what you are talking about, and there are two possible answers.
1) Authenticity - Sweet is great when it comes with substance, but not so great when it is left by itself. In this way you never want to use it as a crutch but rather apply it SECOND and in a controlled way, so you can keep an eye on if its healthy for the girl. Giving her too much for nothing can actually limit your ability to strengthen her self esteem. I CAN be ultra sweet at the start but I never do, because I know it won't last so I come in with just a twist of it, enough to make her smile. Then later I try to construct things with a kind of neutral and "darker sexier" tone, more masculinity, steadiness etc. And then as she requests, I give her some sweetness that I see as healthy, but I keep an eye on it.
2) I expose my willpower and its weakness (with girls I trust only)
Rather than try to cover it up, I let a girl see when I try and why.
A girl said to me recently "you can't hide it anyways" and I agree.
I'm open, but I also know I can control my emotions and do the dirty work.
I'm a bit of a benevolent ruler, I help as long as that is the premice we have.
But I will not stand by if it is abused. I never lash out, I just direct my generosity to someone else that needs it.
So... I guess what I'm saying is, vulnerability gives you gravity if you utilise it authentically.
So, the sweetness should really come from authentic vulnerabilities, rather than built up defensiveness that you use sweetness as a compensation for.
Example:
When I was young, a girl is interested in me and gives me a hug, thinking it will get me inspired to ask her out. But behind this hug, I felt like if I asked her out she would get all "mothering" and possessive.
So even though I really liked hanging out with her, where she was pulling me was not so great.
Where if she had been more vulnerable about really needing a guy like me around, and that it would help her, and she REDUCED the sweetness she was lathering over me, I could have proposed a compromise.
It is a similar thing in reverse, most guys sweeten up a girl to pull her into a regime. The regimes are NOT intentional, they are always just oversights, impatience, zeal...
And women are highly aware of this impatience and zeal, and THEY WANT to help guys out, BUT guys get all defensive and try to kill them with kindness, RATHER than lower the kindness, be a bit more vulnerable, and to show appropriate firmness and decisiveness to her CHOSEN reactions.
Example2:
Making actual friends with girls is actually almost harder than having sex with them etc etc. Because they start with the sex stuff and you have to balance in such a way that they don't "need" you to fill the sexual void, while you are also ABOVE their sexual standards enough to let you in.
What I do with my girl friends (which is great for shy game) is I open the dialogue sexually, without relating it to her, and slowly ease her down, and help her with her other guys.
She'll value me helping with her other guys, and will value that I don't DIG into her emotional space (that happens when you are setting standards for lovers).
I make it clear, I'm not judging her as a lover. And that takes her hand off the trigger.
The point of this example is Vulnerability. Because I share with the girl that YES I have sexual and emotional needs, but ONLY while we are not gaming each other and digging in.
Now... Women will always push on your boundaries. They'll always play "what if" a little bit. But you need to respect that it is just THOUGHTS not actual wants.
Once you can do this balance with women, where you tread water, but don't swim anywhere, it trains you in vulnerability.
Example3:
I meet a sweet girl, she's kind of hitting on all guys in eye shot (casting her net), and she does the sweet "hey" thing to me too.
I don't react with sweetness, I instead try to go off her radar a bit, to get her off "drama" mode (which kicks in with all direct sexual interests). Then I later talk to her calmly, almost dryly, until she thinks I'm a bit of a dick because I'm not responding to her lures.
Then I get her engaged in sharing stuff on my terms, and when she dips out of drama mode, I give her a little sweetness.
This lets her know that if she EARNS it, I can open up and be a cool guy.
Example 4:
A girl is in a club and gives me the eye. I come up to her in a near professional manner and pull her off to the side for a moment and in a low tone of voice, set an EVEN keel, where I talk and she talks, before we get down to any flirting
The point I'm making here, is that the way you introduce vulnerability is by subduing the courtship dance. You don't REMOVE it, you just dim it way down, and this allows defences to lower.
You can then take things ONE authentic step at a time.
If you seduce at full speed, defences will be at full height and sweetness won't DO what you really want it to.
You need to pull it back a natural neutrality, and apply it lightly, with vulnerability and direction (paying careful attention that you keep her respect and she doesn't jerk and flinch) and by doing this you allow the full amount of effort and work to be authentic.
And when the work is authentic, you'll find that an INCH takes a lot of work, but that the inch forges strength into the relationship and creates value that way.
Its kinda like...
You can't be friendly to a warship, but you can to the captain.
And this is what shy game is all about, you strengthen the person, so that the army is directed better, and THEN you start to play games with the army when ready, and its more syncronised and less random.
I apply this game because it allows me to line things up.
Rather than chase my meals (though I can and do), I also play it fair enough, that there is a thread of cooperation beyond just the sexual.
Once you create that thread, the sweetness becomes more intuitive.
Girls "up front" persona might be forcing your sweetness to be inauthentic, so you have to, prep the girl and get her out of her aggressive sexual mode tactfully.
Just be very responsible with it. And non manipulative to an extreme.
I use it to better my personal character and grow as the women around me do.
My only intention is to deepen my understanding of equality and reduce any subconscious bullshit.
Girls will be much gentler with you sexually, with this, so its good if you are the type that they REALLY aggressively want to possess. It chills them out first. (good looking guys or appealling guys can do much better with shy game, cuz full on warship game can see women attacking on all cylinders, so maybe you choose your style for a reason)
Amazing
Cool answer. But what about other side where sweetness is not a part of social calibration, but rather a trait. How you should view yourself? Treat with sweetness or see yourself as your slave.
For example "Oh it's only 6am, I wanna sleep, but I should be going to do morning exercise, it would benefit me more, but let's sleep more" or "Oh, it's only 6am, I wanna sleep, but I should be doing morning exercise so I'm getting up, because I decided so! It will be hard at first, but next day I will go to bed earlier, so it will be okay".
What attitude you should have about yourself? Sweet to yourself or harsh? It's kinda situation relative thing maybe, but what is general attitude of a man of treating himself in his inner self talk when no one sees it...
And I'm glad you revealed my what my fear really was. I was doing so good at school because I would be instant disgratification when teachers would find out that "YOU didn't do your homework". So I recognized fear can be pushing me towards better life. Also now I see most of stuff I do as the results of process, not the event that just happens... There's always a process, we may not be so aware of. While my classmates always said "You are lucky". And I kinda considered myself lucky, not even relating that twang of fear was the source of my good performance, I thought teachers are overrating me... I always would feel like I'm so wrong for having that fear, but this fear was what pushed me through hard times to get results! Classmates were feeling okay to watch movies so they ended up worse than me. The same continues after school :).
Fear to not get my short youth years wasted also pushes me to get better use of time. It feels uncomfortable, but at least I go for results.
Maybe there's even another way? Somehow downplay fear and chase better results while feeling well about it?... I don't really know.
Cause fear has it's element of feeling exhaustive over time. Couldn't I just concentrate on stuff without feeling too fearful?
Well, I find that people as a
Well, I find that people as a rule both push themselves too hard and go overboard on others due to their own defensiveness.
So I think that the ultimate work ethic is one that
- keeps the tension on when it makes a big impact (professionalism)
- gives people a break when piling on more tasks is ineffective (common sense)
- treats you with respect whether you sink or swim (unconditional)
- uses softer encouragement to get you over the line (supportive)
It is way too easy to abuse yourself when you don't have "success" either in your eyes or successfully communicated to others. So what you need to do is be able to stay firm in your own process by making sure that what can be done within reason is being addressed.
That is hard, and it takes a responsibility, but at the end of the day, a good work ethic SHOULD protect you and others from paranoia and going overboard.
So sweetness as a trait should come after you have established clarity, and have a presence in how you shape things, but not be ALL you apply.
mmm
This is awesome :)
Virgin girls
Does ever this "move faster" stuff work on virgins? Those girls are more than anything concerned with their first time to be great, so do you expect ever get same week or even same day lay with them?
Getting first day lay with virgin girl seems as impossible as expecting to spend your whole time wandering around and getting message that "you are billionaire". :D
Virgin girls
Well I might not be chase or any of the writers on this site but I am a practicioner of pickup and girlschase as well. In fact I'm currently in the same situation with a virgin girl. To me it depends on a mirage of factors like her views on sex,her upbringing,your skill in making her comfortable and opening up among other things. For me I just make her extremely comfortable,take the time to lavish and drown her in foreplay and teasing then steadily work towards penetration.I also make it known that if she's uncomfortable we can stop or she can leave whenever she might want. I've also been escalating mutually with her(THAT IS IMPORTANT) which gives her the feeling that we're making progress but all in all it's 2 steps forward,1 step back. While some guys might find it not worth the trouble I find it very aprrecitive when a girl wants me to be her first and I unlock that hidden sex fiend that society has repressed. Oh I also forgot that being and communicating desrection is Soooo important because she'll be plagued by the thoughts of others finding out about any sexual escapades especially if she comes from a religious sheltered background. Good Luck ;) Hope this helps because while it might be complicated it's certainly rewarding to bring such an amazing thing into a virgin's life
Article Link
Hey Anon,
Check out the following article.
Inexperienced Women
Just Dave
Finer points of texting -- any advice u might give?
I recently met a girl online -- after agreeing where to meet up, she gave me her number, i texted her saying, "This is Jason, save my number :)", to which she replied,
"no, i think ill lose it somewhere",
to which was followed up by ";) just kiddin".
afterwards, I just texted, "hahaha". in cases like this, I don't know what the right response would be. If I do respond, but with a weak/lousy joke to play along with it, it would cause her to think of me as less dominant, or bad at humor.
however, if i dont respond at all until I see her, some girls from my experience actually get offended here and might cancel the date. do you have any suggestions as to what you would do? I personally felt that writing "hahaha" back made it seem like a copout of sorts, but have no idea how to handle something like this and didn't remember chase ever addressing this before. thank you!!!!
The girl is telling you --
The girl is telling you
-- Hey backup on telling me to do x because of your insecurity --
Girls are really perceptive, she knows you feel insecure and that it will come back at her if you don't check yourself.
Its better to just not worry about that small stuff and focus on important stuff, like how to make a meet later really spontaneous, fun and cool.
Girls tend not to hold grudges as it is counter productive to them, so just, swallow the pill and move past it.
My response might be "ok, :)"
The reson being I acknowledge the conflict, and that I don't mean to intrude (kept it short to not annoy her further and let her work it out)
Then later I'll come back with an appreciative attitude, and be calm, "oh hey, I'm doing x with abc cool stuff, it'll be fun you should come.
With the intention of just getting her past dwelling on little muckups and get her refocused on cool stuff coming.
Its ok to get a girl to rear up at you, just take it simple and don't aggitate it.
The best thing is prevention though, by just choosing the prank each others phones way of getting numbers.
Just remember though, numbers aren't contracts, your actions have to sell her on you every moment.
versus
great article. Been reading A lots of articles on the site. Sometimes i just think some of them just overrides eachother or they talk about the same thing but different point of views. Or how you see things. I try to always keep in mind that golden middle road. and what can you use in your arsenal at any given moment. girls are silly and cute. but they are so much much more. and its very hard sometimes to coup with the situation or try to read women right. Or get into they´re head. maybe its just me. or not enough experience. just trying to adapt. been thinking this logic-emotion article that´s in the site. i just cant get my head around how different women think. how their brain works :D And why the fu** it´s sometimes so hard with them. even when they wan´t you lovers. and more. Yeah i know information is here. but how do you remember all this stuff at any given moment ?
Ha, yeah, I remember how
Ha, yeah, I remember how aggravating it is to learn. You keep the right bits and pieces together with duct tape, while untangling it all with your own brand of common sense and insight.
Its tough, because, no ones advice is ever EXACTLY encompassing of all things at once because all the information is actually kind of chaotic.
The skill is being able to figure out the CONTEXT of each piece of advice and relating to it on those terms in order to get a sense of it more broadly.
Every piece of advice extends into the whole, but in different contexts certain things are more important than others. And it takes a keen "feel" on things to differentiate those transitions.
Its actually very strange but ONCE you learn to deal with those transitions is almost like your brain REFUSES to talk about them in logical terms, because they all hold a kernal of choice between them.
You can choose once piece of advice over another, but maybe you screw up the way they ideally interact.
It gets frustrating to manage if you do it directly, so you kinda have to just "take the hit" and learn how to manage that stuff somewhat abstractly by trial and error.
I'm so passive
Hey Cody,
I appreciate your insights and wanna ask on this:
I live with my parents, I'm in my early 20s and it's kinda frustrating to realize that they always take care of pretty much all my stuff: what to eat, what to dress and so on, that I don't need to mind about it, but this way with girls... I'm kinda frightened because I rarely do decisions myself that people usually do themselves and any normal girl would recognize as my immaturity. How to deal with it?
I got so complacent about it that I don't need to do anything myself, but this way I say to life "I am just watching you"... And this is really frustrating.
I may act as a man but then girls would see me for what I am after a few days when I don't even know what to get for a meal as my parents take care for it.
I even feel "someday I will fix it" kind of feeling is deep in me as I always get something done without doing it.
It's kinda horrible for a man, because man should lead and I end up as some victim of life feeding myself with excuses, but I don't need excuses I need to be able to live and live myself.
People can be overbearing if
People can be overbearing if you never get around to setting some firm boundaries.
Your parents really have no right to interfere in your life unless you are allowing it in some form. Set up what you want and why on a piece of paper.
- Buy my own clothes
- Pay my own rent
- Have more personal time and less interferences in my choices
etc
Then take a look at why your parents might be taking their "giving nature" too far, and suggest healthier alternatives so that you are not FORCED to move out and find your way alone (which you should do at some point, the question is when).
Be realistic about the pluses and minuses of their behaviour by setting out pros and cons
Pro
When you select my clothes I don't have to work
Con
I don't earn it or understand its value
I get improper perspective on something that is my responsibility
Try not to make it all in your favor, like this is some one side horrible thing, look at the tradeoffs you are getting, and try to organise it better, so you are clear on what parts need to change and what parts you like that you would be giving up if you do.
Then you need to go ahead and make the choice.
Don't wait for your parents to take the spoon out of your mouth, when you really can do it yourself.
You have to go from asking permission to being reasonable all on your own, parents can't guide that transition, you have to be willing to do it.
Don't rush at it with anger, just work on it when you have time with some pro and cons lists and size up the actual situation as best you can
Sometimes you can't
That's great in theory, and in practice, but sometimes you can't.
Sometimes you may be so exhausted that you don't feel like it to really appreciate her feminine beauty, but you can override this.
Sometimes you may run into situation where you want help her out with masculine stuff like fixing car or getting her heavy stuff carried, but what if you can't. What if you don't know a single thing about fixing cars or have some physical problem about carrying stuff that weights more than several kg.
Sometimes you may run into other men challenging you, because you are with awesome girl and:
1) They are just self validating chumps who are more physically fit or in a group of 5-10 men who are all the same chumps who can't get girl so they try to probe you into fighting, like grabbing her ass, pushing you physically away from your girl when you were in heat of conversation and interfering other ways.
2) Sometimes she may have some crazy white knight chasing her like crazy and seeing you as some obstacle to overcome. Even worse when he has some influence on your social circle (important position in your workplace, knows unpleasant stuff about you you would rather not demonstrate... or something like that). And even when girl is into you and not into him (otherwise you probably should let her go with him), you get such a pressure that it's difficult to decide. Either way you lose. Maybe girl you're pretty well connected with and making her feel like you were just a weak man, or maybe get some social or even physical damage (if he is crazy enough) and still losing.
After all, does really girl biologically cares to mate with "the man she is connected with". I don't think so, biologically she needs the man who is stronger in some way.
First situations are solvable with "no big deal" attitude, but other ones seem hard to handle, even more when your life is rooted and you have social circle so pretty much anyone gets to know how the situation plays out. You may not bring your girlfriend into your social circle but some day you will need it if you keep relationships serious enough.
Tough deals? Well, you're more experienced, you could tell your ideas.
You're going too far
You seem to have other insecurities you should handle till you reach the level where you can be non-chalant about stuff you described, you're too much in scarcity mentality. Get comfortable with replacing girls at first.
bouncing back
Cody, thank you so much for these articles and lengthy responses.
I just got dumped after one year of dating and after reading your work I've realized a big part of the reason why is because i wasn't fulfilling most everything listed in this article above. I'm still new to the balance of being myself (a happy-go-lucky, funny guy) and maintaining a manly masculine aura for a woman. The first step im trying to make is noticing what a woman needs and filling those gaps with what I can offer.
I need your help!
About a week after I was dumped a girl I had met before and noticed as quite striking had asked me out to a friends movie premiere. I took it as just a friendly outing but I soon realized it was a date. We even had the conversation about it and laughed. She also didn't know I was just in a relationship and I felt as though I didn't want her to feel like a rebound so I pulled back a bit. After just two dates of friendly laughter and fun I asked her out for this years Halloween party. She called me up and told me she loved spending time with me these last two dates but just isn't feeling that attraction but has tried. I told her I understood. The next day I got ahold of her and asked her out to a play, as friends. She was so excited and thankful that I reached out.
My question to you!
I have a strong feeling that if I start implementing my masculinity now and showing her my romantic side bit by bit we can get back on track and I can ask her out for another try with a date in a couple of days. What are your thoughts? Should I bother trying or is it a lost cause. Thank you so much Cody man, I really appreciate it and think with some practice and a solid game plan on my relationships I can be more confident both in the relationship and outside. Especially after being dumped :P
Best,
Alex
This page is very interesting
This page is very interesting, but I have a weird situation I would like to ask for help with. My girlfriend has recently been telling me she doesn't feel like a woman. Instead she feels like we are just good friends together and only feels like a woman during anything sexual. What can I do to try and fix that?
Hi, I am a recently married
Hi, I am a recently married young woman and I've gotta say that this is the most beautifully written article I have ever read on this subject. One thing I can say is that women sometimes have insecurities that seem to be all but erased when a man treats her this way.
Sometimes the moment can be very easily permanently burned into to her memory when she thinks back on that insecurity. She remembers that there was someone who noticed her for who she truly is and let her know she was good enough just the way she is.
When she knows you are genuine towards her it makes her soar with confidence. You not only have her attention but you can also earn her total respect.
And to have a man to fall in love with who continually treats her this way is one of the most incredible things. Treat a woman this way and she will keep treating you in the best ways she knows how.
Thank you!
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