Building Equity | Girls Chase

Building Equity

How to Plan a Party that Makes You Friends and Gets You Girls

how to plan a party
The party lifestyle can pay lots of dividends in friends, fun, and women. To plan a great party requires your focus on 5 key areas: people, angle, and more.

We've had guys on Girls Chase asking me for years for a party planning guide that will help guys make awesome friends and meet beautiful girls. Most of the women I meet I meet via cold approach (i.e., I see a girl I like wherever, so I just go talk to her). And most of my friends I've met either via other friends or from forums (often private forums) I participate on.

However, there was a time I used to throw parties. Great parties, exclusive parties, with high status men and beautiful women.

Sometimes I threw big parties, with hundreds of people in attendance. And more often I threw smaller soirees with 25 to 40 people (which are generally easier to manage and better to connect with people at... and hook up at).

I didn't start off good at party planning. The first party I threw, a Halloween house party a few days before the holiday (back in 2007), saw a total of four people show up: one close friend of mine at the time, who flew down from Chicago for what he thought would be a legendary bash, and three random guys sent there by some girl I'd asked to come (she didn't come, but she sent some dudes I didn't know over. First rule of party planning: random dudes showing up = not ideal). This after I'd spent weeks preparing for the party – my decorations were awesome! – and loads of cash on drinks, candy, and other snacks. My friend, myself, and the three random dudes ended up heading to a bar after about 40 minutes when no one else showed up.

I spent the next 3.5 years going to every party I could and picking the brains of the party planners before I felt confident enough to try another party of my own. And once I did start to throw my own parties, unlike that first attempt these parties were hits.

What I learned along the way, from first flop to final bash, was how to plan a party a lot more people showed up to... for, in general, a lot less work.

This is my guide to that. And while it will be easier than what I did in 2007 for that go-nowhere bash, it'll still be some work – don't think this will be a cake walk.

It's going to be work. But if you want to build the kinds of parties that make all your wildest party dreams come true, and be the man of the hour yourself, you're going to want to build them yourself, too.

12 Things Every Man Should Have Handled by Age 35

things men should have handled
There’s a lot to focus on in life, and little guidance. Where should you concentrate your efforts? To these 12 key areas: women, money, strategy, and more.

I’ve had guys ask me over the years what areas of their lives to focus on outside of women. And younger guys have asked what they ought to have handled as they get older. Society’s grown more complex than at perhaps any other time in history, due to myriad factors. However, one of the biggest factors has been the near-total abandonment of preparing young people for what to expect in life.

In place of lessons and guidance, we give them feel-good Hollywood films and vapid platitudes. Things that for prior generations were known and expected in life are surprises for the generations now coming of age, left to their own devices to figure these things out (or not).

So I’ve worked to set out a list here of the 12 most important things for a man to have handled before he turns 35. If you’re young, these are the items in life you need to concentrate your energy on. If you’re older and you haven’t handled all these yet, it’s not too late to start. This isn’t a list designed to make you ‘feel bad’ if you haven’t accomplished these yet – this article isn’t about ‘feelings’. This article is about masculine concerns: what areas of your life can you work on that will improve your life?

The more work you do on these 12 areas, the better your life will be.

If your life is already awesome, improve these areas and it will become more awesome. If it’s less than awesome, improve these areas and you will change that too. Note that some men have some degree of natural ability in some of these areas. But no one is a natural at them all – and every man has room to improve in each.

The Single Guy's Guide to Starting Fresh in a New City

how to get started in a new city
You’ve changed towns, but you don’t know anyone. How can you get started in a new city? This guide shows you how.

You’re about to move to a completely new city... or you’ve already moved there. It’s exciting, it’s fresh, and it’s a little scary. Here is this novel metropolis where you don’t know anyone.

It could be filled with opportunity: awesome new friends, beautiful new girlfriends, delicious new food. Wondrous new places to see, riveting new activities to partake in.

Or it could be lonesome, boring, and fill you with homesickness for your old abode.

How will you know? You won’t know until you’ve been there a while. But there’s a secret most social veterans who’ve moved around a bit know: what makes a place is not so much the place itself, but the people you know there, and the things you do there.

A well-connected guy with lots of cool friends, pretty girlfriends, and fun things to do in an otherwise small and boring town will live a better, fuller, more exciting life than a lonely guy who doesn’t go out and doesn’t know anyone, even if that guy lives in the biggest, most interesting city on Earth.

So our focus is to turn you into the well-connected guy who knows lots of outstanding people and does lots of outstanding things... no matter how big or small or busy or not his new town might be.

You’re going to learn how to get started in a new city. And in particular, you’re going to learn how to do that in a way that maximizes your exposure to excellent friends, women, locations, and activities.

This articles divides into sections each of those four items (friends, women, locations, activities). You can jump around with the table of contents if you prefer to skim and don’t want to read the whole piece in a single sitting. But for the maximum new city experience, I suggest you go through the full article.

We’ll begin this article with a look at location: where in town you should go for fun, and where in town you should live.

Will a Nice Car and Good Job Get You Laid?

money and sex
Women are supposed to like money. So why don’t nice cars, jobs, and apartments always get men laid?

In June 2006, I graduated university and took a job. I had an important-sounding job at a prestigious corporation. Everyone knew the name of this company, and everyone knew it was a great company. At the time, I had a less nuanced notion of status more than I do now, and I figured my great job for a high status corporation would net me major points on the dating scene. After five months of grinding it out in college town nightclubs three or four nights a week as just another student trying to pick up girls, now, at last, I had the magic pass: I was a high prestige, high status, money-making machine!

My first month in my new town of Washington, D.C., I made sure every girl I met found out where I worked and what I did. I did it in a smooth way; I wasn’t socially awkward about it. I made sure the girl asked me first where I worked, before I said anything. Most seemed impressed; I’d often get raised eyebrows and a pleasant, “Oh!” And when, after a few weeks, I received my business cards, I felt confident I was about to become unstoppable with girls. I often took to handing these out to women after I’d made a great first impression, confident they’d fast get back in touch.

Yet within a month, I’d stashed my business cards away in the corner of a cabinet somewhere; not a single girl I’d given a card to had texted or called (and I’d given out a lot of cards). I quit mentioning my company or position to girls altogether. But I hadn’t learned my lesson quite yet. A year-and-a-half later, I went down the same status symbol road with my sleek Mercedes-Benz, and ended up at the same destination: after a month or so of showing it off, I soon shelved “the Mercedes approach” and began to hide my car from girls instead.

The reason why was the same both times: when women found out I had a good job, or a nice car, they didn’t put out. Dates were more awkward; sex would not happen. Sexual vibes were almost impossible to create.

These status symbols, impressed as my friends and coworkers were, worked against me with women.

That’s the paradox: make more money, buy more expensive things, and... get laid less.

But why should this be, when everything you see on TV, the commercials, and the movies says it’s supposed to work completely opposite to this?

Why Venues Go Stale (Plus: How to Still Meet Girls There)

stale venue
Why do cities and venues grow stale? It gets harder to meet new women as you settle into a place because of changes in how you approach them.

In the comment section of my article on beating learned helplessness, a reader writes:

While I have long ago achieved general abundance with women in my country, the women I really want seem still elusive. I breath action in and out, I take risks like no one in my circle, I truly believe it is my responsibility to materialise my goals, and yet my dream women seem to remain out of reach.

To do something about it, I traveled abroad to Poland last week (I will write a detailed FR in the forum with my conclusions).

With only 12 approaches in 3 days, I almost had sex with a 19-year old model-type brunette whom I approached under broad daylight in a shopping mall. The girl was extremely close to my dream girl.

Why do you think I didn’t get that close to my goals in my own city, but went so close with only 3 days abroad, in Eastern Europe? Is it some kind of placebo effect or are there real obstacles, in your opinion? If the obstacles are real, how can I overcome them?

His comment called to mind a phenomenon I’ve often noticed, and seen in other men I know as well: that after a while, places like cities and venues turn stale.

Stale as hunting grounds for new mates. Stale as places to meet girls.

You’ve doubtless seen this yourself. That new bar you discovered that you were excited to go to... But now, after months or years of going there, the excitement has worn off and it’s just some joint.

Or that new city you got to, that was so fresh and full of beautiful women and new conquests when you arrived. Now it seems like the women just keep getting fatter, older, and uglier, and all the hot girls have gone. I call this ‘old city blinders’.

The good news is, if you’ve noticed this, you’re not the only one it happens to. It’s common.

And the better news is, there’s a way around it. For the most part, anyway.

What to Do to Date Women from Different Social Scenes

women social scenes

“Why don’t these sorority girls like me?”

I asked myself that question for four years. At parties, I would see them hooking up with guys who I knew were not as attractive as me and were half as interesting, but here I was surrounded by guys who all looked, walked, and talked the same, and yet I was going home empty-handed. At first I thought it was a race thing. I am African American and Indian, the girls I was pursuing were Southern white women, but that wasn’t the case. I had black friends who were in frats that had no problems with sorority girls.

I graduated without figuring out why girls would rather go for a guy who’s just like the rest than a guy who’s different. It wasn’t until I had traveled the world and dated all types of backgrounds, did I realize what was keeping me from bedding these sorority girls.

The issue was that I wasn’t playing their game.

Think about this: these girls had invested thousands of dollars to be part of Greek life. They spent hours a week devoted to their sorority, and even more time talking about their group. Their sorority determined what they wore, how they talked, and who they dated.

So why would they choose to date a guy who wasn’t invested in that reality at all?

How to Find and Keep a Mentor in Seduction

Note from Chase: Denton Fisher has been actively approaching women for 4.5 years, with a specialty in same-night lays. He’s taught over 100 students in-field, and is a prolific seducer, posting two to five new lays a week, and juggling up to seven women in rotation at a time. His first series of articles on Girls Chase focuses on achieving mastery picking up and seducing girls. Here’s Denton.


This article is for both the game junkies and the dabblers out there, as well as those who are fighting to master your own individual fields. It is all the same. Reaching mastery in any field will have the same patterns/similarities, and one of the major ones is the quest to find a mentor.

seduction mentor

This is something I am good at and is the single biggest reason why I have developed my game to the point it is at now. With that being said, let me share with you why I have acquired half a dozen pick-up mentors of extreme skill over the course of a year.

Self-Cultivation; or, the Art of Checking Off Boxes

Over on our discussion forum, member Sneaky_Charm asks for help getting “unstuck” and making progress again:

I realize that I’m looking for an easy fix, and in a way, trying to justify my laziness. As if looking for some magic! But, at the same time, I’ve read enough books to understand that self-image is a very real thing.

Chase, I know you said in one article that you were in the same place for years, and then your life started to change. So what did you do? Did you do anything, or it just happened?

He says he knows “the biggest problem is taking action.” Yet, he’s still not taking enough. How do you stop running underwater when you’re not taking sufficient action in the first place?

self-cultivation

Well, part of it’s just internal motivation. Sometimes until you really crater, you won’t feel sufficiently motivated to really step it up. Or sometimes you catch a lucky break (or perhaps you caused that break yourself by feeling around and exploring and testing stuff out) and you get a taste of what your true potential is or could be, and that’s all the motivation you need after that.

In my case, both sides played a role: I made rock bottom my home for a good long while and finally had enough of it, and then I managed to string together a bunch of lucky breaks over a period of time that gradually gave me tastes of what was waiting for me if I busted my tail. A beautiful girl unexpectedly gives me her phone number; I see a guy who’s light years better than me with girls, and watch him work, and understand. And I say to myself, “I can do this.”

But the art of self-cultivation can be boiled down to a simpler, and different, formula than just internal motivation + luck. We can also boil it down to this: draw some boxes, then start checking them off.

Why You Absolutely Need to Commit

Every day I read questions on different forums saying things like “I love this girl so much, what should I do?” This kind of question irritates me. It irritates me because you can’t love something you aren’t committed to. I don’t care what kind of fantasy you have in your head, if you haven’t made a move on her, you don’t love her. Why? Because if you actually strongly desired her you would have made a move; you would have committed yourself to a certain course of action.

commit to getting laid

Our culture has become obsessed with thinking and not doing. We obsess over the fantasy of doing something great but rarely commit ourselves to doing great things. Invariably, every guy I’ve met who is good with women knows how to commit. I’m not talking about being exclusive, I’m talking about acting on his desires.

Many guys have passion only in the mind, but their lives are listless. This indecisiveness disgusts women. The higher the quality to the woman, the lower her tolerance will be for listlessness. The indecisiveness that plagues this generation comes from the fact that we have so much information at our disposal. Data that supports both sides of every argument. Many men look for proof before they act, and that may work well in science but it is a horrible way of going about bedding beautiful women.

This post will be part practical advice and part philosophical treatise. I will begin with the practical advice and then move to the more theoretical elements on my philosophy of commitment.

14 Ways to Use Sexual Transmutation for Fun and Profit

One of the most powerful drives a man has – perhaps, arguably, the most powerful drive he has – is his sex drive.

Your sex drive is a complicated piece of physiological machinery. It’s partly controlled by your hormones (testosterone is its primary driver in men), though also partly controlled by, of all things, your social status and sexual experience (or at least, this is the case in rhesus macaques, not too far distant from us on the primate family tree).

Various things impact your testosterone and can lower it; a messy sleep cycle, certain diets, even emotionally supportive relationships can bring it down (so you may have to choose between a raging sex drive and fulfilling relationships). See my article on the winner effect if you want to read more about testosterone.

However, the male sex drive is good for more than just sex.

sexual transmutation

Your sex drive also powers your aggression, your ambition, and your motivation.

And the more you tap into and learn to channel it, to access the power of sexual transmutation, the more you can turn yourself into whatever man you aspire to be.