Building Equity

How to Juggle Women, Projects, Habits, Career, and More


Would you like to know what was, and actually still is, my biggest struggle when it comes to seduction? And not just me - this single aspect often ends up putting even the most prolific seducers on dry-spells and is the reason why so many men's "career" in having a promiscuous lifestyle only lasts a few years.

Do I have your curiosity?

women and life

Alright, then I won't beat around the bush anymore - it is integrating seduction into your lifestyle and making it sustainable long-term.

You see,

Like many of you, I'm a man on a mission. I have great aspirations and goals for my life and, truth be told, racking up enough notches to give Jack Nicholson a run for his money is NOT one of them.

Don't get me wrong, I love our beautiful ladies as much as the next guy (maybe even more), and in this article I won't try to convince you that getting good with women is not a worthwhile goal - on the contrary, I will try to convince you that it's actually a necessary skill that will help you achieve other goals in your life more efficiently. But only if we're smart about it.

However, even that is not my main goal with this article.

Instead, I would like to share some ideas and strategies on how to incorporate meeting and sleeping with beautiful women into your life and make it sustainable. Or, if you're still struggling, how to get good with women without creating fires in other aspects of your life.

That said, as I will explain in a moment, it wouldn't be honest to say that I have it all figured out and that there's a clear-cut one-strategy-fits-all approach. The tricky part when talking about these subjects is that it takes years to really see if a particular approach worked and if it was even the optimal one to take in the first place.

Which simply means - be smart and try to critically think about what you are reading.

And now, the problem...

Starting Quick but Getting Stuck? Here’s Why


If you are a technically oriented kind of guy who wants to succeed as fast as possible, here are a few tips on how to avoid getting stuck in a dead-end. Taking things slow and gaining wisdom can sound great in theory, but what if learning slow just agitates you too much and you can’t learn that way? Does it mean you are broken or need to learn another way of thinking and feeling?

Personal Standards for the Moral Seducer


One of the most destructive limiting beliefs that holds back many men is that having a promiscuous lifestyle in which one sleeps with beautiful women seems somehow morally wrong. To them, it seems that there’s something wrong with being attracted to someone and desiring passionate sex with them.

personal standards

It sounds silly when I put it like this, yet, unfortunately, in our minds this limiting belief rarely takes form as a simple, straightforward statement like this. If it did, getting rid of it would be easy.

No, instead it’s usually much more deceptive, and the result is that we find ourselves ashamed of our desires... we restrain ourselves from openly hitting on her and being sexual because we are afraid of public scrutiny, and when things don’t go our way, like she doesn’t reciprocate the attraction, just like a child who did something wrong, we feel the need to run back to our safe place.

The reasons why so many of us developed this unconscious belief that being sexual is wrong are diverse, but in most cases it boils down to social pressure to meet some very outdated norms.

But what if instead we operated in a manner so that deep down we knew that we were doing the right thing by trying to seduce her; by showing our sexual side? What if we knew that by leading the interaction towards sex we were also leading ourselves towards mutual happiness (or at least a happier state)?

Well,

Let me tell you that it’s liberating to play your part in the dance of seduction knowing consciously and unconsciously that you’re doing the right thing. Even more so, it does open up new doors, especially in social game.

Sadly, I can’t give you a surefire, step-by-step approach on how to overcome this limiting belief and instill in you a new one – every situation is unique and every man’s journey towards this goal will be different.

What I can do, is set you in the right direction by helping you establish a set of personal rules that you believe in: ones that will make sure that as long as you will abide them you will be true to yourself and in your mind you will be doing the right thing.

How to Mix a Drink to Make Her Taste Buds Pop


As I was slicing the lime I could hear them going “Mmm…” in a satisfied, flirty manner and then get giddy between themselves. Were they checking my butt while I was preparing the drinks?

Probably.

But who can blame those pretty ladies – skinny jeans were working their magic and I’m fine with being objectified, at least in this manner.

But this article is not about skinny jeans.

mix a drink

You see, over the years I’ve experimented with and picked up quite a few hobbies that in one way or the other helped improve my romantic life. Learning about men’s style helped me transform my appearance, learning to dance (particularly afro-latin dances) helped with leading, touching, and making her wet on the dance floor...

And developing bartending skills not only made the line “come over to my place, you really need to try my legendary mojitos” that much more effective, but also somehow ended up improving my social life (don’t worry, I’ll explain later).

The Seduction Triangle


Note from Chase: this is a guest post from John Turner, one of our senior discussion board members who posts under the handle TheDoctor. In this post on the “seduction triangle”, John applies a sales tool called the “sales triangle” to the world of dating and seduction. Here’s John.


When I was starting out in sales, I knew a few of the various sales techniques, had read a lot of theory, and I was pretty confident that I would be able to adapt at an excelled rate. So it wasn’t long before I knew my product in and out and was able to overcome objections quickly and efficiently.

I was sure I’d be a selling machine, but the truth is, I performed very… OK. That was it. Just “OK”. A lot of my prospects would vanish, deals would fall through, and I had an impossible time hitting my budgeted numbers.

What was I doing wrong?

I analyzed absolutely every part of my “sales game” and came up short as to the missing link. I knew it was not my lack of knowledge about the product, nor was it that I was unfamiliar with the tactics of the sales process.

I went crazy trying to figure it out, and I knew I was over-complicating it. It was then that I came upon a sales idea I had not heard of before:

Improve Every Aspect of Your Game Through Testosterone Optimization


Note from Chase: this is a guest post from Ben Harrison of Eat, Sleep, Grow, Repeat. Ben's article is on how to optimize your testosterone levels and shoot your results with women through the roof. Here's Ben...


Your outer-game is incredible? Your fashion sense is dialed in and your openers are eloquent creations of mastery? Everywhere you walk you leave a wake of construction; the construction of a social lifestyle that attracts a consistent stream of attractive women into your life.

How about your inner-reality, or what you may be familiar with as inner-game? You're internal reality is perhaps a veritable landscape of quality and vision seen only here before via the works of Lorenzo Gian Bernini, or perhaps you see it as more of a fantastical baroque mosaic creation à la Genoese Giovanni Battista Gaulli. You consider your inner game to be on point.

testosterone

On the other hand, perhaps you are newly immersing yourself into a social lifestyle. The technicalities and models of inner and outer game are perchance yet ambiguous terrain for you.

Whichever camp you reside in, there is something even more innate and internal which will optimize every aspect of your game; a mechanism within our very cells which may greatly enhance confidence, banish approach anxiety, and also fear of ambiguous escalation windows; a chemical balance of body and mind that provides the burning desire to persist and succeed in ones outcomes when dealing with the gauntlet of challenges that social interactions provide. Above all else, it should be recognized that it is possible to greatly proliferate your motivation to take action and your intrinsic desire to succeed in all areas of life.

Why Does Learning Something New Suck So Much?


We’ve all been there. We’ve felt frustrated, minimized, and as if we didn’t deserve to succeed. We’ve been in a place where it feels as if diving into a new world (like women, business, or personal development) is like being dragged into a confrontation with all the deepest cuts you’ve ever felt (hell). We’ve been smothered by it, we’ve wanted for it to let up, and we’ve blamed ourselves for not being able to let it go (as if it were an abusive addiction).

learning sucks

But why?

Why is it that in order to learn something new we let ourselves be pulled into such a desperate place?

Why is it that the process of learning to live with the awareness of a new set of threats runs us ragged?

Why do we give up that part of ourselves in exchange to LEARN?

How to Tell Whether It’s Good Advice or Bad


You have probably read a lot of posts online where different websites share conflicting ideas. Ideas and techniques you get from one place do not match the ideas you read somewhere else. In fact, you might have even read two different theories or techniques here on girlschase.com that conflict with each other. That is not unexpected.

In this post, I will discuss how you should approach this issue when you encounter it in order to make it all less confusing for you.

conflicting-advice

Why Sucking with Women Might be Good for You


I wonder how many of you fellow sexy men can identify with being a “hard case”? For how many of you is learning seduction, becoming a better, sexier man, and getting better with women not just a way to “have more control over your sex life”, but also a vital necessity, because otherwise “settling down” in the evening would be beyond your reach?

How many of you found this site not after a bad break-up (or several) but because you’ve never even had someone to have a bad break-up with in the first place?

When I first started on this path I was like that – completely, utterly terrible with women and seemingly beyond repair. So much so, that it took me YEARS just to get that first lay.

I remember thinking how much I hated the fact that I was struggling with something that came naturally to others.

Even though I had one friend at the time who impressed me immensely with his sexual conquests, his results were so far from my reality that even in my wildest dreams I couldn’t imagine that one day I’d be in a position where, like him, sex was just a few text messages and a drink or two away. Or that I’d compete with another natural buddy for the same women in bars (for mutual self-amusement) and be the one taking them home more often than not.

No, during those early years I would’ve sold my soul just to be “normal”; to find a nice, simple girl, who would like me (alright, who are we kidding, I would’ve settled with “tolerate me”); one who I could treat like a princess and be monogamous with. I had those fantasies despite knowing full well that it wouldn’t work long-term and that I would never feel fulfilled being monogamous; restrained.

suck with women

But for me even this “Plan B” was not in the cards.

It’s funny, but looking back, I consider myself to be very fortunate to not even have had the option to succumb to this temptation. Or, simply said, being completely terrible with women was one of the best things that happened in my life, as it pushed me not to resort to the seductive mistress that is mediocrity.

I’ll be frank – with this article my goal is not to teach you anything in particular, maybe just show a different way to look at your current circumstances.

This article is meant to motivate, to keep you going after a night out or a date when nothing really worked and you’re lying in your bed, lonely and wondering how much more wonderful life would be if only you could be “like normal guys” or if you “had a nice girlfriend” (or something similarly silly).

This article is also going to be very personal, as I will share some of the most embarrassing moments from my learning process and how “taking a beating” early resulted in disproportionate rewards later in life.

And in the same regard, I would like this article to be a sort of introduction. You’ve probably already seen my articles on becoming physically sexy (fashion, grooming), but the stories I’m about to share will set the context for some of the articles I will be writing in the future, and you’ll be able to have a better understanding of my background, my style, the way I do things, and, in turn, decide if that’s something you want for yourself or if maybe another author’s style is more suitable to you.

How to Get Started Improving Your Looks


This article is inspired by a superb piece Chase wrote recently: “How to Get Started at Picking Up Girls”.

Indeed, just like with pick up, it is quite easy to get overwhelmed by the amount of information that is supposed to help you improve your looks.

You will read advice like “make sure your clothes fit right”, “wear monochromatic colors”, “wear bolder colors”, “add contrast”, “avoid contrast”, “choose colors based on your skin tone”, “invest in a good pair of shoes”.

And if you’re brave enough to step into online communities that focus solely on men’s style you’ll find an even more confusing situation of names dropping and brand obsessing that for an outsider might seem even a bit snobbish (and indeed it sometimes is).

The funny thing is, such advice (even if it seems contradictory) is often technically correct and can lead to great results in certain situations.

improving your looks

But the problem is that unless you had some positive and style-savvy influences in your life – friends, women, etc. – who can show you what actually looks good on you, how proper fit should feel like, what colors go well together it is a very daunting journey to start on. This is especially true for guys who live outside fashionable cities, in locations where wearing basketball shorts and flip flops is considered an “okay casual look”.

I tried to address this issue in the last article “6 Outfits That Will Help You Look Sexy” and Chase wrote a superb primer for men’s style that covers most important points.

Today, I’d like to fill one more gap in the knowledge – the part that goes before you go out shopping or decide what you’ll be wearing on a night out. We’ll cover mindsets and healthy habits that should be developed.

But don’t be fooled, this won’t be a feel-good article that you will read and forget the next day; I will invite you to do some hard thinking every step of the way, so that by the end of this guide you will clearly know what needs to be done in your unique situation.

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