Setting up your bedroom to facilitate great sexual experiences isn't the most important thing you can work on for your ability to seduce women... but it's one of those little things that can make all the other things involved in taking a woman from stranger to lover a whole lot easier.
If your go-to sex logistics spot is a bachelor pad with a single, uncomfortable bed under stark lighting and subject to distracting noises, you're not really giving yourself the best chance to excel at said pursuit.
Alternatively, if you set things up right, you can have hours-long foreplay tangled in pillows, blankets, each other, nakedness, soft light and seductive music. That's what I call "the bubble" - note that this is different from the bubble you can have in conversation... which is where you and a girl are in such rapt communication together that it feels like it's just you and her together inside this bubble, and the whole outside world does not matter - similar feeling here, except it's in your place.
With this article I'll be showing you how to create a bubble experience in your bedroom... and explain too just why you'll want to.
So what's the point of creating this bedroom bubble in the first
The following list gives the reasons you want to use this:
- To make inviting girls home back to yours easier
Some of us may have felt trepidation before when asking a girl home because our place to take them wasn't up to scratch. This trepidation can bleed through into the ask and effect the success of said proposal.
When you're confident of the place you have to take girls home to it becomes much easier to invite her over when you're out. It's a small thing, but being sure that you have an environment that is going to help the interaction along can give you that little edge.
- To make her more comfortable
Creating a bubble facilitates a girl's comfort markedly. This is good because a girl who feels comfortable with you in your bedroom is one who is more willing to open up sexually.
- To make yourself more comfortable
The bubble isn't only meant for her. It also has a strong ability to disengage your logical mind and make you much more comfortable, too... which helps you to open up sexually, as well.
- To make the sex better
When both parties are comfortable with their surrounds, this comfort gives them the opportunity to focus on the experience in front of them rather than externalities. Being comfortable allows you both to come away from distracting thoughts and be present - which always leads to better sex.
Better sex means you have more fun (didn't really need to tell you that one, did I?), but it also means that a girl is much more likely to come around again afterwards.
- To have the environment help seduce her
When you have the three elements of 'creating the bubble' working for you, you develop an environment which will seduce a girl almost by itself. Low light, seductive music and a comfortable place to lie put people 'in the mood'.
There are three (3) KEY elements that one should most take into consideration when converting a bachelor pad into a bubble. These are:
- Music, and
Let's have a closer look at each.
This is something that Ricardus and I have discussed and have both used to our advantage.
I know that Ricardus used to go for candles, but my current mood-light is a rock salt lamp (see the image below), which emits a really soothing reddish light that makes everything it falls onto look really nice.
I've gone for this option because my room doesn't have an overall dimmer... but if you have one of those, then you don't need to worry about buying a secondary light to set the mood.
When looking to buy a mood light, all you really need is something that gives off a soft light that isn't bright - so there are lots of options out there.
There are two reasons why dimming your lights can help you create the bubble:
By lessening the monopoly that sight has on your other senses, and
In overcoming insecurities and making everything look nicer
On that first - lessening sight's monopoly - when you turn down the visual stimulus that's perceivable, your other senses automatically sharpen to help you navigate the world around you.
Here's an exercise you can try. I'm assuming you're on a computer – run your fingers along your keyboard while looking at it.
Once you've done that, now try closing your eyes and doing it.
You'll realise that your tactile perception increases dramatically once your eyes are shut, as you're far more able to focus on your sense of touch once your brain is no longer processing visual information.
This concentration of feeling through our hands rather than our eyes can transform sexual experience, and help you become a much better lover.
Properly feeling your way around a girl's naked body helps you become much more in tune with it and with what she responds to. Also, when she touches you, you actually FEEL the touch.
This goes all the way to sex: you perceive much more keenly in a tactile sense how you feel inside her, rather than just watching it go in and out. So it's not just good for her; it's good for both of you.
You can actively focus your awareness on particular parts of your own body to help as you get better at this.
Our second reason that dimmer lights are helpful was to aid in overcoming insecurities and making everything look nicer.
This is one of the most powerful tools you can use to make a girl feel comfortable in a physical sense.
It's extremely rare to meet anyone who doesn't have any hang-ups about her body. Girls are particularly pushed for aesthetic perfection, so it's totally understandable that a girl may be nervous about showing you some parts of her body.
By taking the lights down low, you're still able to see, but a lot of those fears will be allayed as the softer light helps obscure these often deeply held insecurities, so she's able to focus on the experience, rather than keep her mind fixed on her physical insecurities.
This isn't to say that there isn't a time for lights-on sex later, but assuring her that you have a forgiving light in your room is something that can help you get a girl feeling comfortable taking her clothes off with you.
Musical preference is utterly subjective, so it's hard to advise you on specifics as everyone's taste is a little different.
My penchant is for deep, emotive songs that have a nice amount of bass. The music I've preferred having on my bubble play-list include:
- Fever Ray
Chase often recommends Thievery Corporation as a good choice here,
too, and Sade is an oldie but a goodie for creating a seductive,
luxurious bachelor pad atmosphere.
Your list may be completely different; the only thing I'd recommend is something with a nice little bit of bass.
You don't have to blast it - you only need to fill the bubble.
If you don't already have some, you'll want to get yourself a set of speakers. These don't have to be amazing, but a sub-woofer is a must.
I spent $100 on a pair of Logitech 2.1 speakers a few years ago, and they've served me just fine - if you're planning on bringing new girls back to your place regularly, these are assuredly a worthwhile investment.
Again, there are two main reason why music is an important part of building a really deep bubble:
To block out the outside world
To disengage the logical mind
On the first - blocking out the outside world - there's nothing worse than having your sex bubble with a girl broken by a house-mate, family member or anybody else moving about making a racket.
It doesn't even have to be within the house; external noises can be distracting and break the focus that the two of you have on being in the moment.
Shutting this out with music avoids those problems.On the second - disengaging the logical mind - this is the more important reason for playing music. The state of mind from which you best appreciate music is the same one you want to occupy when you're having sex.
The state of mind where you're present and not engaged in thinking, you're simply doing.
If this sounds all a bit airy-fairy then you'll just have to try it to see what I mean.
When combined with the right lighting, this has a synergistic effect that can be really powerful, as you increase the effect the senses of sound and touch have on the way you're both feeling and on your consciousnesses.
When a girl sits or lies down on my bed, her most common comment is an exclamation of how comfortable it is. It's one of those ones that you flop onto and instantly feel better about life.
What you want to go for is a large-ish bed that you can both stretch out on. The actual feel of the mattress is a subjective preference so that bit's up to you. What I've gone for is a slightly firm mattress with just enough give that it hugs you just a wee bit when you're on it.
Now, my mattress definitely didn't come cheap, but I see it as a 10-year investment in good sleep... and good sex. And what could be more important than those two things?
You've probably heard that it's a good idea is to have nowhere else to sit in your room (or in your entire bachelor pad, if you have a studio) but your bed, so you're pushed to sit on the bed together, should you enter the bedroom. That's not a bad suggestion really, and one I adhere to myself.
You also want comfortable, clean bed linen and a whole heap of pillows. I have six. Two firm ones for either side of the bed when sleeping, and the rest are soft and whatnot for when I'm lying about watching TV or cuddling with a girl.
Lastly, squeaking beds aren't cool. Do what you can to get rid of that noise. I've previously oiled the hinges of my bed, and that worked a treat.
There are two reasons you want to have a really comfortable place to lie:
Comfortable bodies are more present bodies
People want to get into comfortable beds
As you can already tell, the main aim of creating the bubble is to bring both of you into the present moment and out of your heads. When you're comfortable in a physical sense - as in, the position you're lying in feels really comfortable - it's much easier to do this.
Also, having the space to lie together comfortably, to try new sex positions, etc., can't be underestimated.
With regard to people just wanting to get into more comfortable bed, as I noted earlier, most girls squeal with delight at the comfort of my bed and the ridiculous amount of pillows and blankets. If a girl wants to get into your bed and stay in it, then all the better for your ability to stay in it long enough to have sex together. Seems a trifle, but the, you haven't been in my bed ;)
It's also a really nice frame to reinforce: that your bed and your room are overwhelmingly comfortable. When a girl remembers that, she'll always want to come back.
Bachelor Pad to Seductive Bubble
I hope I've helped you transform your bedroom into a seductive bubble of comfort, devoid of external distractions, which you and your lover can get lost in for hours.
If you combine all these things, then you truly have the keys to an altered state of consciousness... the state of consciousness where the best sex happens, that is.
Just as a quick aside, this environment works in synergy with my piece on sexual awakening. If you read these together and practice the tips in both of them, you'll have a physical environment and a mental environment that is massively conducive to good sex and sexual exploration.
Here's a summary of the main points we covered in this article on creating a bubble of intimacy in your pad:
Having a good environment to bring a girl back to can give you a little edge when you're out by making you more comfortable inviting her home
Creating the bubble makes her more comfortable
It makes you more comfortable
This leads to better sex
It helps your interaction by playing an active part in her seduction
The three elements of creating the bubble are light, music and bedding
Get a light that has a soft glow to set the mood
This helps lessen the monopoly that sight has on our senses and puts you in touch with your tactile ability, which leads to better sex
Low light helps mask physical insecurities to make a girl more comfortable taking her clothes off with you
Get speakers that have a nice amount of bass
Musical preference is subjective; choose something that you'd like to have sex to
Don't blast the music; play it just loud enough to fill the bubble
Music helps disengage the logical mind and helps drown out distracting external noises, which makes for better sex
A large and comfortable bed is what you should be aiming for
Clean linen, comfortable pillows and non-squeakiness all add to the comfort of your bed
Again, when somebody is comfortable of body they are much more easily to stay in the present
When a girl identifies your room and bed as really comfortable, it's a place she'll want to stay in and come back to - so, reinforce that frame of comfort
'Til next time,
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