There's nothing worse than planning a vacation or a semi-permanent
change of locales, only to get there
and find you've picked a spot that's no-go for meeting attractive new
either there aren't many attractive young women, or the women who are
there are closed to meeting new people / foreign men.
Therefore, to assist with your trip planning in 2013, we've put together a list - part shrewd detective work, part advice from several sources that will go unnamed - of the top seven (7) travel destinations in 2013 for men looking to meet new women.
Let's dive in.
independence from the Soviet Union in 1991, Tajikistan became mired in
a civil war that saw the utter destruction of its economy, leading it
to become one of the poorest nations on Earth. And as everybody
knows, poor women are women just waiting for more privileged men from
other parts of the world to
swoop down and save them from lives of poverty and wretchedness. Every poor girl
wants to have her own Cinderella story.
There aren't really bars here, and Wikitravel recommends that you make sure you're back indoors before sundown, which means you'll primarily be doing day game. The treatment of foreigners isn't quite as lavish here as in some of the neighboring nations, like Iran and Afghanistan - but that just means you'll have less competition from other foreigners not willing to step their games up and play hard or go home.
You've probably heard that women in Iceland are attractive and friendly to foreigners. But you may not have heard about the women of Greenland.
While the restaurant and hotel prices in Greenland are high, the temperatures here are low... and that just means more lonely women looking for a warm body to keep the subzero wind gusts at bay.
Another one of the "Stans," Turkmenistan is perhaps best known for
the paintings, buildings, and giant golden statues erected all over the
country in honor of its now-deceased, all-powerful leader Turkmenbashi
("Father of All Turks"), who was known to say he felt a little
embarrassed seeing so many monuments to himself while strolling about
town, but that it's "what the people want."
Walking with women here can lead to arrest - police often assume a woman walking with a foreign man is a prostitute, and take you both in. That makes Turkmenistan the perfect place to work on your time-bridging and follow-up game - you'll need to be good at letting women go and having them meet you again later, unless you want to spend the night in jail... so, come prepared to level up in those areas, and get really solid at setting up dates and counteracting flaking.
#4: Saudi Arabia
Head-to-toe abayas are the style-du-jour (and legal minimum covering) of women in Saudi. Which is great news for men struggling with approach anxiety around beautiful women - if you can't tell whether she's beautiful or not, there's nothing to be afraid of!
One downside, perhaps, of Saudi Arabia is that it is against the law for single women and single men to mix. The good news though is that the fanatical, volunteer religious morality police - known as the muttawa - aren't allowed in shopping malls or diplomatic compounds. What they don't know won't hurt them!
#3: North Korea
One of the best things about meeting women abroad is the exoticness factor - just like women in your home country go crazy for foreign men, women in foreign countries go crazy for you - because there, you're the novelty.
And nowhere on Earth are foreign men more novel than in North Korea.
Think you can't go to North Korea? Wrong you are! There are tours departing all the time from Beijing (see: Koryo Tours). The challenge for you once you get in is going to be giving your "guides" (read: handlers) the slip - they follow you just about everywhere, to make sure you only see what they want you to see.
Make sure you leave your computer and smart phone at home, unless you want them filled with North Korean government spyware when they're seized from you on entering the country before you get them returned. And it's not like you'll be accessing the Internet anyway - you're in North Korea, after all.
But, should you succeed in slipping away from the fake towns filled
with artificial shops and pretend inhabitants all there purely for your
pleasure and manipulated impression of the country, and you manage to
get out to meet some real North Korean women, just make
sure you tell them you're from Europe. Remember, they've been
brainwashed for decades with mental programming to the gist of every
suffering and privation they endure being something that's come at the
hands of America. You might not get the same exoticness boost by
telling them you're
from the States, then.
Tired of Turkmenistan's smothering police, Saudi Arabia's overzealous volunteer morality cops (who obviously have way too much time on their hands), and North Korea's constant hand-holding (and fake everything)? Then you're going to love Somalia... a place with no rules, guides, or laws.
Like, there's not even a real government in Somalia.
Which means, of course, that you can do anything you want!
Including dating sexy pirate women - remember, piracy is at the top of the economic food chain here, and being a pirate is about the highest rank achievable in Somali society.
Just be smart while in Somalia - don't let any pirate women's pirate husbands find out you've been playing steal the booty, lest you find yourself walking the plank. Pirates are a lot less forgiving these days now that their captives have been fighting back - make sure you remember your right to parlay, should you end up in any sticky situations.
struggling with losing women because you haven't quite
gotten rid of that creepy vibe yet, Antarctica may
well be your dream destination - during wintertime (roughly
September), the sun stops rising and the seas freeze up, and nobody
gets in and nobody gets out.
Which means, I'm sure you've realized, she can't go anywhere!
have to get used to you - and learn to see your awesome side.
Every year, only a few hundred people remain in Antarctica during the brutal winter, but every year those few hundred people are supplied with tens of thousands of condoms. If that doesn't sound like the makings of a hedonistic wintery fun-fest, I don't know what does. Book your trip soon, though - you won't be able to make it in there before the seas ice over and the sun goes down if you don't get on it right now.
One word of advice if you're going: make absolutely sure you move fast before they close the place off for winter. Nothing worse than having all the hot girls pair off for six long, cold months of darkness, while you're left with nobody but the sled dogs for company and no way off the continent for half a year.
... and there you have it. Your top seven countries to pick up women in 2013.
No sense lounging around - get over to your favorite travel search engine and book your flight - hordes of beautiful foreign women await.
UPDATE: This article was posted (in jest) for April Fools' Day 2013.