Social Circle vs. Cold Approach | Girls Chase

Social Circle vs. Cold Approach

I’ve always been a strong proponent of meeting women via cold approach – that is, going and meeting women who are strangers whom you don’t know and who don’t know you – rather than via social circle. Both have their strengths and their weaknesses, but I think overall that the rules of social circle put far greater constraints upon your potential success and mental well-being than do the rules of cold approach.

social circle

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

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Comments

AidenWest's picture

What about social circle within a promoter or party thrower's circle? Those guys consistently have new girls entering the circle and those chicks are more likely to bang the high value men in that circle rather than a cold approacher. Love Systems say its the most efficient way to get consistent with 9/10game.

AidenWestCoach.com

Al from London's picture

Honest to God, I have just spent the last 6 months of my life learning this lesson. I agree with every word and don't think it's even possible to explain it than in the above article.

I got good at cold approach after getting over my ex early last year. Started meeting girls frequently, also improving quality of girls i was meeting and hooking up with... Got a reputation at work, and had two of the most attractive girls after me (few months apart), but got absolutely nowhere.

On the cold approaching i was using super fast escalation, then persistance and also playing the numbers game. At work i was just using C&F, rapport, jealousy, being nice (!), everything i could think of but kept missing escalation windows through not wanting to take risks. In both cases got attached, one case of Oneitis, and serious harm to my game for a couple of months.

Now back on the cold approach, which has really gotten me my confidence back and have one work girl super-target on the backburner (she's a 'Shy Exited Girl', just read that one)... Read the article on Hooking up with Friends too, and also loved that... Based on that, I'm going to keep the work girl on the periphery as far as possible for a while, as I cant move again yet (practical reasons). We're both getting friend-zoned and she's too good a catch to let that blithely happen. So it's distance + cold approach now!

This site is awesome by the way, cant believe I hadnt heard of it! ...I live with several dating coach PUAs and thought I'd heard of / seen all of them lol :)

Mothman454's picture

Lets face it: C/A rules because most men would never do it, and it communicates bold behavior to the woman. Its 100% Alpha.

Daniel's picture

Hi Chase,
Firstly, gr8 articles m8, congrats.
Alright the situ is this.
I started training with a personal trainer about a month ago via referral. I see her about 3 times a week to train but it is a professional relationship because it is her business obviously.
There has been obvious attraction escalating between us and I'm almost certain she's interested except every thing I've ever heard about this sort of thing says bad idea. I was planning on training for another month or so with her then dropping the training sessions and soon after asking her out. I don't want to enter friend zone tho. Do u think its a hard fast rule that these trainers do not mix work with play or can I crack the door open gauging of the signals I'm getting?
Cheers in advance mate;)
Daniel

Johnny's picture

Hello,
When you say cold approach do you mean cold approaching in bars and clubs?

Carlito's picture

Hi chase,
First of all I must say that I learned from your articles things that I would have worked on years just to discover. It is well explained,detailed,and most importantly very true.
But there was something I always thought about how can you lead and dive into deep conversations obeying then law of least effort? The two ideas seem to be controversial. I'm only saying how to use the law of least effort the right way without seeming quiet and weird.
Btw I think that the cold approach is much easier than the social circle: one on one gives you more confidence to lead and to act.
Thank you in advance:)
Carlito

Call me KaZ's picture

Hey Chase! Great advice on the sight! Just need help... I go shooting twice a week and there's this girl I really like that comes up once a week, we typically have a great time talking to each other but she lives quite a way from where I live(about 10 km) so to meet up its a bit of a problem. Also I have no idea what so ever as to how to ask her out. Please help!

April O'Neal's picture

Behaviors can take time change. Whether trying to cold approach or be the party thrower; buying new clothes, making new friends and hanging out with a crowd of your choosing can be helpful however the core of one's character and personality still may not change. When getting to know someone, a girl, guy or a even group, core beliefs come to the surface in every interaction, it's the vibe. Discovering the foundation of who you are and why certain things happen to you require learning the tricks of the trade as well as a therapist who can help you find the why and how.

Mike's picture

Just wondering what you think the best way to pick up girls that work as waitresses and bartenders. Usually they're the prettiest girls and have a lot going for them, but after all your a customer just like every other dude at the bar. Just start a conversation ?

Anonymous's picture

What if you live in a small town? Cold approaching might get you labelled as a creep or weirdo.

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