How to Visualize: 5 Steps to Massive Success


If you're the kind of hard-nosed, stubborn-headed realist I am, things like visualization usually sound like some kind of hippie-ish New Age flimflam to you the first 10 or 12 times you hear about them. That's how it was for me anyway, and I'd always laugh a little and shake my head dismissively when I'd hear people talking about "the power of visualization."

how to visualize

But the more I studied successful people, the more I kept running into things like visualization, meditation, and taking time out of your day to focus on what you want. Cases in point:

  • Henry Ford would take time out of his day to clear his thoughts and imagine the kind of company he wanted to build and the benefits it would provide to people

  • Thomas Edison and Nikola Tesla - both rivals and peerless inventors, and both professed visualizers who imagined their inventions succeeding

  • Tiger Woods visualizes how the golf ball will move and where it will stop before he ever hits it

  • Arnold Schwarzenegger, before he spent much time bodybuilding and again once he started, spent time visualizing what it would feel like to win Mr. Universe, and began acting like he'd won it already a few years before he actually did

  • Jim Carrey, feeling broken down and beaten by his lack of success in Tinseltown, wrote himself a check for $10 million for "acting services rendered," dated it for 10 years later, Thanksgiving 1995, and stuffed it in his wallet so he'd never forget it. 10 years later, just before Thanksgiving 1995, he was told he'd be paid $10 million for the film Dumb and Dumber, and he buried the check, now falling apart and in pieces, with his father - it had been both of their dreams that he'd find success

Even Albert Einstein first hit upon the theory of relativity while visualizing it, and Steve Jobs talks about blocking out the outside noise to focus on the inner voice in his 2005 Stanford commencement address.

I read about Olympic skiers and world class tennis players visualizing the slopes or the game. I read about martial artists visualizing a bout before it began. Business builders visualizing what their business would one day look like, years before it showed any signs of ever getting there back when everyone else thought they were crazy.

And I thought, this isn't just some hippie New Age junk. There's something to this, and I'm not doing it, which means I'm missing out on it.


how to visualize

In 2007, I moved out to San Diego, California, from Washington, D.C. A friend of a friend was there to meet me, and he showed me around town, introducing me to many of the good little hole-in-the-wall restaurants and trendy, cool nightspots. We spent a good deal of time talking, and at one point he stopped and told me about his "vision board."

I'd heard of the term once or twice before, but he went into some detail. He'd read The Secret, a book on imagining the things you want and some kind of mystical energy of the universe bringing them to you just by you focusing on them. It was, essentially, Napoleon Hill's "secret" - the one he mentions as the "the secret message of this book (in Think and Grow Rich)," boiled down into even simpler language and repackaged for a modern audience no longer so familiar with Hill.

My friend at the time he'd made his vision board had been living in Michigan, where he'd grown tired of the cold winters and rotund women (being a bodybuilder himself), and had longed for a change in ladies and locales. So, after reading The Secret, he built his vision board - a big poster with pictures of all the things he wanted on it.

Among the other things he put on it, he placed a picture of San Diego, and he stuck on too a picture of a gorgeous Puerto Rican fashion model he'd torn out of a magazine.

For a few weeks, he'd focus intently on the board 10 minutes a day, and imagined bringing these things into his life. Eventually he stuck the board in a drawer in his desk, though, and largely forgot about it.

Three months after he'd first put together that vision board, a friend of his called him out of the blue to tell him about a job he thought would be right up my friend's alley, doing Internet marketing for a new company just setting up shop. They could pay him well, and handle his moving expenses. The location? San Diego.

My friend, of course, said "yes."

When he made it to town, he was in a bit of a hurry to get settled in. He found a place off of Craig's List in a pretty good location for a decent amount of rent per month for the area, and met the landlord, liked the place, and signed for his room. He was told there were two girls renting the two other rooms, but he didn't meet them before signing or know anything about them.

As he got settled in, he met his roommates, and hit it off with one of them. This girl he started going to parties with, hanging out with, and met all of her friends and inherited a social circle to spend time immediately after getting to town. Eventually, the girl fell for him, and begun trying to seduce him. He almost went for it... but then he thought better of going for a roommate, and relented. She spent a good deal of time baking cakes for him, posing seductively nearby him, and luring him into her room though, trying to get him to change his mind.

One day one of his old roommates from Michigan, who'd been going through his Facebook pictures, called his cell phone and surprised him. After a few pleasantries, he got to the point: "Dude," he said, "that girl in your pictures! You know, the Puerto Rican-looking girl... the one who looks like a model!"

"What about her?" my friend asked.

"She looks exactly like the girl on your vision board!" the roommate said.

My friend had forgotten all about that board. But his roommate was right - she did.


Mysteries of the Universe?

how to visualizeNeedless to say, I put my own vision board together pretty quickly after my new friend telling me this story (I'd met the roommate, too; and he wasn't exaggerating - she was, indeed, quite beautiful). In addition to the vision board, I also started using affirmations and visualizations, things I'd never really dabbled with before. I read everything I could on them, and tried to find out the most effective ways to use them.

I'd done goal setting before, and still did it (and still do), to relatively good effect. In my experience, I never got the things I wanted quite as fast I'd have liked to have gotten them, but I DID eventually get them. I thought (I hoped) that with things like visualization and a vision board, it would work the same way.

To date, the only thing I actually got off my vision board (that I recall being on it) was a girl... one nearly identical in looks and body type to the one I'd put a picture up of (tall, slender, beautiful, and busty, of course - my first girlfriend in Asia, an architect). The other things - my income goal, commercial real estate property, a few more - are still pipe dreams, at least so far. But then again, my emotional desire for them was never quite as visceral as it was for that girl.

Visualizing sans vision board I put to good effect, however - I didn't have much luck with bleached blonde beach girls when I first moved to Southern California; I considered them airheads, and they treated me coldly. But at one point, I decided I'd spend time visualizing having fantastic interactions with bleached blondes, feeling warmly toward them, and liking them a great deal. A few months later, I was getting warmer receptions from them than almost any other kind of girl - a complete reversal.

I also visualized traveling the world, living in exotic locales... but I didn't know how I could, or when I could. I had a job paying me well enough not to leave, and a wonderful girlfriend treating me well enough not to part ways - leaving seemed impossible. But I visualized it and - in one of those "things work in mysterious ways" events - the girl broke up with me and the job more or less ended right around the same time. Both of them came back and offered me the chance to stay - the girl wanting to start up again, the job offering to let me stay on if I was willing to go back to Washington, D.C. But I took it as the sign I was looking for, and left for the next stage in life.

I'm not convinced that "the universe" brings you what you want, though. It might... I wouldn't be surprised if someday we found out that, somehow, it did.

But I think there's another explanation, one far less hung up on "the universe," and far more focused on you - and if you'll notice, all the people mentioned at the start of the article weren't people visualizing success and then just sitting around waiting for it.

Rather, the people who use visualization and become runaway successes are using it as just another tool in their push to become truly exceptional.

And visualization helps this push for success through three different effects.


#1: Training the Mind's Eye

I'm going to show you a video just below, and we're going to see how good your attention to detail is.

In the video, you are going to watch people in white t-shirts and people in black t-shirts passing basketballs back and forth. I want you to count how many passes of the basketball the people dressed in white make.

Here's the video:

How many passes did you see?

The answer's in the video; I won't spoil it here, in case you're skimming before you hit play.

...

...

...

Now... did you see the gorilla?

46% of people watching this video who are paying close attention to it do not.

That's sustained attention for you. It causes you to become blind to everything you're not otherwise looking for... even things that you'd think would be SUPER obvious.

One of the things you'll see guys talking about while doing the newbie assignment approaching girls on the discussion boards here is that suddenly lots of women are noticing them and flirting with them and trying to catch their eyes when they start doing this. And certainly the improved posture and eye contact they're using is helping them in this; improving your fundamentals does make you more attractive, after all.

But in years of teaching this stuff, one of the biggest differences I've seen is in what you notice; you weren't looking for women to be checking you out before. Now you are, and suddenly you're noticing women noticing you all over the place.

One of the things that visualization does to help bring things into your life is this: it trains you to start looking for the things you want. Like that gorilla, opportunities that were there all along but that you weren't seeing start popping out at you, and instead of being blind to them and assuming they simply aren't there, you start seeing these opportunities - and, if you're using visualization as one of many tools and not your only one, you start seizing them, too.


#2: Removing Uncertainty

In the movie Inception, it's mentioned that the fictional shared dreaming technology used by the protagonists was invented by the military to practice combat situations in dreams. But what if you could train yourself right now - inside your head?

There is one reason above all others why people don't have the things they want in life.

Fear and doubt. Fear and doubt stemming from lack of training, and lack of experience.

Answer me this:

  • If you went out, starting today, and asked 20 new beautiful women on a date each and every day, until you got one of those women as your girlfriend, could you have a gorgeous girlfriend in a month's time, no matter your experience level with women? Probably yes.
  • If each day you wrote down 20 new companies you'd like to work for and you called those companies until you found someone who could direct you to someone with the authority to hire people at each company, and you spoke to that person and asked him what kind of people he was looking for and with what skills and what qualities and what background, could you find a hiring manager at a company you like who's looking for exactly your skill set and experience level and land yourself a well-fitting new job in a month? Probably yes.

Why don't you?

Fear of rejection, and doubt that this would even work in the first place.

You'd probably just be wasting your time, you figure. So why bother?

The lack of experience doing such things prevents you from doing them. It's a negative cycle where lacking experience means you don't do the thing, which means you don't get the experience needed to do the thing.

Visualization trains your mind to have previous "experience" doing things you fear doing and doubt doing. It breaks the cycle. Men fear most what they do not understand - emotions are at their peaks of fear and doubt and uncertainty and, conversely, elation, enthusiasm, and joy, when you do not understand a thing, and when it seems outside your control.

The more familiar with it you become, the calmer, the more collected, the more poised... and the more successful.

This is what we talked about in, "Does Success = Confidence?" Real confidence is a byproduct of success, not a cause of it. When you've already been successful, you just know how to go out and succeed, regardless of your feelings.

Visualization does something else here for you besides clear away doubt and uncertainty: it creates false "memories" that allow you to remain more poised, collected, and adept in real world situations - because you're already rehearsed and prepared in your mind.


#3: Clarifying and Crystalizing What It Is You Want

Learning how to visualize allows you to do one other thing for yourself, as well: namely, it allows you to use visualization to crystalize your vision and clarify exactly what it is you want, down to its most distilled form.

how to visualize

Most people have only vague ideas about what they want... things like:

  • I'd like to be rich.
  • I'd like a great/hot girlfriend.
  • I don't want to have to go to work in the morning.
  • I want to travel the world.
  • I want to be respected.

... and other "goals" along those lines - pseudo-goals that are more amorphous ideas than they are plans or objectives.

When you visualize, though, you're forced to sit down and imagine things happening exactly... seeing things exactly as you want them to unfold, exactly where you'll end up, and exactly what you've got to do to get there.

Visualization takes a hazy idea, and transforms it into a crystal clear objective.


how to visualize

Your goals in visualization are thus:

  1. Training yourself to see and respond to opportunities

  2. Creating simulated experiences to get yourself familiar with things and remove uncertainty, fear, and doubt

  3. Clarifying your path, mission, and objectives - hammering home for yourself what you really want and what you're really after

These are all "intangibles" - you won't visualize for the first time ever in your life, then walk out tomorrow and be better at picking up girls or making a million dollars. Visualization is a long-term investment in getting better results tomorrow, for the most part (although as you get good at it, it can be used in short-term situations - we'll discuss how in a bit).

If you want a quick fix, it isn't visualization.

But if you've got a tough nut you're trying to crack that you're willing to put a little time into cracking, visualization may very well be one of the pieces you need to put together a proper nutcracker.


Emotions and Visualization

I'm going to tell you how to visualize in just a moment, but before I do, I'd like to stop and stress the importance of emotions.

The brain learns better with emotions - memories and experiences stick more firmly in your mind, their impact is more profound, and they're more easily recalled when accompanied by emotion. If you want to maximize the experience of running the mental simulations that are visualization, you must cast emotion into the mix.

And not just any kind of emotion. From "With Sadness Comes Accuracy; With Happiness, False Memory" of the journal Psychological Science, by Justin Storbeck and Gerald L. Clore:

The Deese-Roediger-McDermott paradigm lures people to produce false memories. Two experiments examined whether induced positive or negative moods would influence this false memory effect. The affect-as-information hypothesis predicts that, on the one hand, positive affective cues experienced as task-relevant feedback encourage relational processing during encoding, which should enhance false memory effects. On the other hand, negative affective cues are hypothesized to encourage item-specific processing at encoding, which should discourage such effects. The results of Experiment 1 are consistent with these predictions: Individuals in negative moods were significantly less likely to show false memory effects than those in positive moods or those whose mood was not manipulated. Experiment 2 introduced inclusion instructions to investigate whether moods had their effects at encoding or retrieval. The results replicated the false memory finding of Experiment 1 and provide evidence that moods influence the accessibility of lures at encoding, rather than influencing monitoring at retrieval of whether lures were actually presented.

The researchers were conducting a study on the formation of false memories here, finding that people in bad moods don't form these very well - you need to feel good to form a false memory, most of the time.

Visualization functions on much the same triggers. You are effectively planting false memories, of sorts, in your brain while visualizing - and this becomes infinitely more achievable when accompanied by positive emotion.

Recall all the examples of using visualization to become successful from earlier in this article, and recall the ends that each individual visualized:

  • Ford visualized the feeling of building a colossal company that made great products that people loved

  • Edison and Tesla visualized creating profound inventions that changed the world of humanity forever

  • Tiger Woods visualizes the feeling of having his golf ball make it into the hole

  • Arnold Schwarzenegger visualized the feeling of being crowned Mr. Universe

  • Jim Carrey concentrated on the feeling of receiving his $10 million check

... it's the feeling that each man is focused on; the feeling of success.

That's a happy feeling. A very happy feeling.

Two great books I've read - Body-4-LIFE, by Bill Phillips, and The Millionaire Fastlane, by M.J. DeMarco - both have authors who started out broke and visualizing buying their own Lamborghinis with the money they'd make off their future million-dollar businesses, and both men succeeded and both men bought their cars (Bill's was a blood red Diablo, M.J.'s was a silver one).

The point is, visualizing works very similarly to false memory implantation - except that you are planting "memories" in your head of success.

When it's time to act in real life, and do what you need to do, instead of flying blind, feeling nervous or unsteady or underprepared, or chickening out, like almost everybody else does, you're doing something you've already rehearsed time and again inside your head.

You're doing it the same as you've done it a hundred times before - even if only in your mind.


How to Visualize: The 5 Steps

This visualization stuff sounds pretty cool, right? So how do you do it?

There are five (5) steps to follow when setting up your own visualizations to give them the thrust, impact, and effectiveness of those of world class athletes, inventors, musicians, and titans of industry.

Best of all, they don't take all that long to do. Here they are:

  1. Clear your thoughts. Visualization before and after clearing your thoughts is a completely different ballgame. Before clearing your thoughts, your visualization is just another thought stream competing for mental processing power with 8 or 9 or 10 other chains of thought spiraling through your mind. After clearing your thoughts, though, it's the only thing there, and gets your full focus, attention, and retention.

    Clearing your thoughts can be done like so: find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed. Sit comfortably down, and begin to breathe in and out, slowly. As you breathe in, "see" one of the thoughts running through your head. As you breathe out, release that thought. Repeat for as long as necessary (usually 5 to 10 minutes) to clear your head and silence your internal monologue.

    One tip to make this easier: focus on being entirely present (e.g., the thoughts about that bill you keep forgetting to pay or that date you've got tomorrow or that faux pas you made yesterday or that project report that's due this afternoon don't matter because none of them are happening now... all that's happening now is that you're sitting peacefully and in full tranquility).

  2. Imagine the process. Visualization is not just of the end you'll achieve. Those who use it most effectively visualize the entire process of achieving something - the beginning, middle, and end. You're taking your mind through a simulation of the thing you want - getting it and experiencing it and doing it.

    If you're visualizing a specific new girl you'd like to date, for instance, you'll visualize noticing her, meeting her, talking to her, setting up a date, bringing her home, taking her to bed, making love to her, and spending time with her later on happily. If you're visualizing a business success, you'll visualize building the business, the wonderful value you'll provide to your customers, how customers love your product so much because it benefits them so much that your business explodes in growth, and you'll imagine the financial rewards and notability you'll receive as a result of this. If you're visualizing an athletic competition, you'll visualize starting, playing or competing, and achieving victory.

  3. Feel the emotions. Of tremendous importance is that you feel the emotions: excitement, enthusiasm, pride, happiness, satisfaction. Really experience these as you run through your visualizations, and feel them every step of the way. Imagine the satisfaction you'll get looking at that gorgeous new girlfriend of yours, or driving that Lamborghini. Think of the pride you'll get from customers telling you you run the best XYZ business there is. Feel the freedom that being able to relax on an island in the South Pacific and not have to worry about alarm clocks or problems at work brings you because you own your business, instead of a business owning you. Feel the good emotions and let these simulated memories become ingrained in your psyche... so that when it's time to act for real, your subconscious will remember things as if you've already been there and done that.

  4. See and navigate the bumps and obstacles. In the Hagakure, the Book of the Samurai, it is said that a true Samurai thinks always of death: he thinks of death when he wakes, and he thinks of death when he goes to sleep, and he thinks of death at every moment in between these two. The reason for this is so that whenever he must confront death, he will be ready for it. Of course, what he's really doing is preparing his mind to engage in mortal combat at any time.

    Like the samurai, you will be best prepared for success if you visualize not just the victory you will achieve, but the obstacles you'll face along the way and how you will overcome them. In this way, you train your mind to not be shaken when you encounter roadblocks on your way to success; when you do come across them, it will feel as though you've seen it all before, and you'll have a much easier time of it because of this.

  5. Achieve success and experience it. Actually achieving success and experiencing it (in your visualizations) is of course a big part of the process, too. This is the one thing that all extremely successful people using visualization have in common. They aren't thinking, "It'd sure be nice if I had a million dollars"; instead, they're thinking, "When I make my first million dollars, THIS is what it will feel like." If you want to really put some punch into your visualizations, you absolutely cannot leave this part out. You must know the joys of success and live them every time you imagine.

To completely run through this process shouldn't take you more than 20 minutes. You can conceivably do it in 10, though you likely won't get as deep a visualization session in (and probably need to sacrifice completely clearing your mind to do so).

But 20 minutes to build up the mental ability to seek out, notice, and capitalize on opportunities to get the things you want most is not so much time.


When to Visualize

The next most important thing to knowing how to visualize is knowing when to visualize.

Your brain has a variety of different wave patterns at various stages of consciousness, including:

  • Beta waves: when you're fully awake and thinking
  • Alpha waves: experienced during periods of relaxation
  • Theta waves: dreaming / early sleep-stage brain waves
  • Delta waves: the brain waves of a fully asleep brain

brain waves

The deeper you can get brain wave-wise, the more the lessons of visualization stick in your subconscious. You'll reach alpha simply by jumping into visualization with a modicum of mind-clearing first; if you clear your mind, and you visualize just after waking or right before going to sleep at night, you can reach theta during your visualization.

Other reasons for doing visualization immediately after waking and immediately before sleeping are getting yourself focused for the day (in the morning), and both relaxing yourself and preparing your brain to focus on these items while asleep (at night). The brain also retains lessons learned better when followed not long after the lesson by sleep (a nap or a full night's sleep), giving you another reason to visualize before bed.

Important note: you'll have a very difficult time visualizing effectively while tired. As your brain tries to fall asleep, theta waves become interspersed with a pair of wave structures called "sleep spindles" and "K complexes"; and what will happen is that, if you're too tired, your brain will override your visualizations and force you into uncontrolled dreaming instead.

So make sure you get enough sleep if you want to properly visualize.

A good schedule to get you started: 20 minutes each weekday, Monday through Friday, either in the morning when you wake up or at night before you go to sleep.

It might be tempting to tell yourself you're going to start visualizing 7 days a week for an hour a time, but you'll burn yourself out quickly starting that way. Pick something manageable to start with, and as you get comfortable doing it and it becomes routine, decide only then if you want to do more.


Advanced Short-Term Visualizing

how to visualizeIf you recall earlier, I mentioned that I'd tell you how to visualize to achieve short-term objectives in addition to long-term ones. Here's that trick.

Once you have some experience under your belt visualizing already, you can switch into visualization mode to mentally "rehearse" right before you do something. You'll most commonly see this with sports stars - e.g., Woods mentally walking through a swing before he makes it with his club; a basketball player taking a moment to visualize a shot before he takes it. But you can do this with anything - a speech you're about to make, a martial arts movement you're about to perform, a new move you're going to try with that cute girl you've just met.

This is easiest if you've already anchored getting focused and visualizing to a specific gesture or movement. If you always meditate and visualize with your thumb and middle finger forming a circle, for instance, your body begins to associate this gesture with a relaxed, cleared state of mind, and you begin to slip into this state automatically whenever you form a circle with your thumb and middle finger.

The reason I say this is "advanced" is because until you're fairly adept at clearing your mind in a hurry and you know exactly what you want to visualize and how you're going to visualize it, not to mention yourself running yourself through the proper emotions without much prep time and switching off whatever emotions you were feeling a moment ago, you'll have a tough time crowding out all the sensory input that's streaming into your consciousness from the outside world (especially if, say, meeting girls in nightclubs).

Until then, you'll mostly need to stick to using visualization as a long-term method of upping your intangibles - but even as just that, it's a very useful thing indeed.


Visualization Wrap Up

Visualization is a really excellent way to get yourself focused and headed down the road to success, done correctly. It has the following three effects:

  1. Training yourself to see and respond to opportunities

  2. Creating simulated experiences to get yourself familiar with things and remove uncertainty, fear, and doubt

  3. Clarifying your path, mission, and objectives - hammering home for yourself what you really want and what you're really after

The steps for performing visualization effectively are:

  1. Clear your thoughts (5 to 10 minutes)
  2. Imagine the process (another 5 to 10 minutes)
  3. Feel the emotions as you do
  4. See and navigate the bumps and obstacles
  5. Imagine achieving success and really experience it

Of utmost importance here is that you feel the emotions, and that they are positive ones: happiness, satisfaction, excitement, pride, discovery, awe, enthusiasm, ecstasy, pleasure, joy. This allows you to better reap the full effects of your visualization by planting these imagined experiences deeply in your mind.

Visualize just after waking up, first thing in the morning (before breakfast, if you can) and just before going to bed at night when you can more easily reach alpha and sometimes theta waves for optimal results, and start out with something moderate - one session a day, every weekday is a good start. You may prefer morning over night, as it's generally much easier to clear your head and visualize for the day ahead than it is to try and convince yourself to do it later on when you may be tired or still busy.

But of course, do remember, visualization is nothing uncombined with action. More opportunities will seem to come your way once you're actively visualizing - but it's still up to you to seize them.

Just remember those men from the start of this article - all men of vision in their own ways, yes, but all men of action, too.

Visualize - then act.

Chase Amante

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Comments

Niraj's picture

Nice Article


Totally Nailed it Chase!
Bro ... Thats one of a gem article you have written!!
Cant get better than this to convey the right message across and I am really on to make this a big task into my daily routine.
Thanks Chase !!
Cheers!

Gem's picture

Glasses?


Hey Chase,

I had a question that I feel may have fit more appropriately in the fashion article you wrote earlier in the week, but that I think ties in fairly well with this particular topic of visualization as well. My question is what are your ideas/views on glasses in regard to how they come across aesthetically (in relation to fashion and such) and how they affect people's initial judgments of you (i.e. assuming you are a "nice guy" or something for example). Generally "Game, Pua Crowd" say to ditch glasses (like Mystery promptly encourages Neil Strauss in "The Game") but does it really matter much at the end of the day if your fundamentals are really solid?

I wanted to add some insights I've found from my personal experiences, what I've came to conclude (so far) about this matter and how I feel this ties in with today's article. I'm a college student and have worn glasses since I was 5. I got contacts in high school but have to be selective of when I wear them because I have chronic dry eye and when I wear them on a dry day (which is most days; most days are fairly dry in LA) I run the risk of having bloodshot, irritated, hungover looking eyes the next day. What I've done the past number of years and still find myself doing today, is wearing contacts when I approach, meet women, and pretty much do anything with women I am interested in or am going out to meet women. I've had to approach, and have gone through with approaches in glasses, and found no difference (and have been into a few pleasant, rewarding relationships even) to how women treated me (all while keeping fundamentals as solid as I can and attempting to progress efficiently through all the steps I've learned for progressing effectively with women throughout the years ). But, despite all this, it is always in my head that I'm more attractive (to myself primarily and then in general to everyone else) without glasses.

What I've found that gets in my way is visualization in that, when I visualize the ideal seducer and visualize myself as him (with the appropriate shared features/fundamentals/behavior patterns etc.), I picture a seducer without glasses; I picture myself without glasses. I think of Daniel Craig as James Bond or the smooth animated Bruce Wayne Batman I looked up to growing up and each time I think of someone without glasses.

I wonder what your ideas on this issue are, do you think that glasses hinder your game to some degree? Or is it an unsettling mental thing that I should just ignore and gradually dismiss from my mind?

Thanks,

Gem

Chase Amante's picture

Glasses

Author

Gem-

Glasses are an interesting item, for the effect they have on your appearance. I had an Asian bodybuilder friend who'd always wear glasses, and it very nicely balanced out his vibe. He had big muscles and a very sharp, even caustic wit, so this kind of really solid, too-cool-for-school vibe about him, but then he'd always wear glasses. He did very well with women in bars and nightclubs, and pulled a lot of very pretty girls.

My opinion is, if you have a very tough, manly vibe, glasses can nicely offset this to break the stereotype. i.e., if you'd usually be perceived as a meathead, throwing glasses on says, "Hey - I may LOOK like a meathead, but I'm smart."

The best bet is probably going for balance - finding a way that, if you want to wear glasses, you're coming off as cool / strong / tough enough that you don't get pigeonholed into the "nerd" category. Do that and you ought to be fine.

Chase

Gem's picture

Chase, I like the points you


Chase,

I like the points you make; for myself actually, I'm very lightweight and weigh 150 lbs (originally weighing 120). I'm what's called an ectomorph bodytype and gain my muscle in lean muscle mass. Because of this, I can't technically achieve a big/macho/huge tough guy look but instead just fill my clothes out well (wearing size small; I prefer this actually because women are often turned off by bodybuilder types who have gained huge thick mass like some of my mesomorph/endomorph friends while in contrast to this I can look lean/ripped/shredded and have a girl be surprised and really turned on when my shirt comes off).

I'm a writer, and a website owner just like you Chase (enjoy reading and writing a lot) and like you'd mentioned in the book "How to Make Girls Chase", I kind of dumb myself down slightly, often times, to not come across as superior or risk auto rejection (i.e. not using too many big words and things like that; and I find no glasses can help supplement this). With clothes on I've found I still look pretty lean, skinny so having the glasses can make me look the nerdy type but perhaps there is a balanced point I can come to where it can work many situations ideally.

Thanks for the advice,

Gem

Anonymous's picture

Great article Chase, racing


Great article Chase, racing drivers also use visualization to enable them to complete the perfect lap, which then allows their sub-conscious to do the work, called being ‘in the zone’, I've had this happen to me a number of times when picking-up, kinda weird, wonder if anyone else has?! I wanted to ask you some further things on streamlining discovery in the moral superiority article comments; I've re-posted it here -

Thanks for explaining your reasons on charity. I thought you might say something along those lines and I agree with you. Most large scale social changes - Indian independence, the civil rights movement - work on the principle of empowerment, rather than aid. I'm not sure yet how I will change things, I believe I need to sort my emotional and logical needs before doing so.

For finding resources, you're right books are normally more informative, but just like on the internet there's a lot of nonsense to work through. My screening process for good and bad is getting better. It's more a fear that I'll miss out on things. For example if stock changes in a bookstore, I may miss a book that could have been incredibly helpful. Asking for suggestions from staff might work, but often you may have to search for books on the internet, and then you're into the whole cycle again.
Also, there's the case of not knowing what exactly to search for. When I searched 'how to text girls' I wasn't looking for a site that would revolutionize my dating, sex and well-being, just how to text girls! Knowing what to look for is just as hard as finding it. I feel like I want a process, where with the slightest problem I can solve it, and always be discovering things I never even knew of.

Note could you re-post the link please. There was a couple on Google, but I'm not sure if any of them are the site it is supposed to link to.

Thanks

Chase Amante's picture

Hacker News

Author

Anon-

Good note on the race car drivers; I've heard that before too, yeah.

Hacker News - sorry, I fixed the link in that comment but forgot to leave a note letting you know I'd done so. The comment with the repaired link is here.

Chase

Franco's picture

Visualization Before Dates


Good stuff here, Chase.

I actually visualize entire dates before I go on them with women, and I've done it because I've noticed it makes it much easier to make it actually all happen!

I visualize her walking up to me for the date; I visualize the introduction; I visualize the few moments I will decide to compliment her; I visualize myself asking her to come back to my place, her declining, and then myself persisting to get her to come home; I visualize her sitting down on my couch while I grab us drinks; I visualize the first kiss and the escalation; and I visualize us sleeping together.

It seems like a long process, but it's something you can generate rather quickly in your head once you've done it plenty of times, and not even just with dating. As you mentioned, this can be done with sports, work, pick-up, and all kinds of things. Forming a plan and having your logistics handled is one thing, but then actually visually running through your plan will not only help you execute it accurately, but it may even help you pinpoint flaws in your process! It's a great tool to use, and I recommend all readers begin to visualize success with everything they do.

Cheers,

Franco

Chase Amante's picture

Re: Visualization Before Dates

Author

Franco-

Wonderful suggestion. I've done a little visualizing before dates when I was uncertain about the logistics or how things would go - this is very helpful. It's a dry run of the date - BIG help in not having to sit there thinking, "Oh no, what do I do next?" because you've already run through it once (or twice) already. All you have to do then is follow the plan as you've rehearsed it.

Chase

Balla's picture

Great Post.


Hey Chase, I was going to ask about over thinking but I see you kind of covered it. I just want to know how do I not over think in stressful situations, like if I'm new to approaching. what can I do to calm my nervous and stay in the present even if I haven't reached master visualization yet? I also wanted to know is being serious boring, standoffish, or attracting? I don't want to laugh or be goofy anymore. I just want to be chilled and somewhat emotionless. What's the perfect way to do this without becoming a creep? and do girls like men like this? Thanks P.S. I can't wait for the sexy 2.0 article, I actually did want to know more about it in detail.

Chase Amante's picture

Stressed in New Situations, Having the Right Vibe

Author

Balla–

Unfortunately, in situations that are new to you, you’re going to overthink and get stressed out, no matter what you do. It’s part of how the brain learns… when it’s new, your brain hasn’t learned the patterns yet, and it’s going crazy trying to make sense of what it’s seeing. Only through repeated exposure and experience does your brain start figuring out what different things mean, what’s likely to happen after she does this or you say that, and what the best course of action for you is for you to achieve a specific result desired.

On being chill and calm without being too emotional, check out the article on how to be smooth - that’s really what that one’s about. You don’t want to be SO unemotional that you’re lacking in sensuality or a sense of humor – these things are important too. But certainly, you don’t want to be goofy, if you catch yourself being that. That can be endearing sometimes, but usually it just makes you seem more like a big kid than a viable sexual/romantic option. You want to strike the right balance between serious and calm, but in a way that you find life itself, and the games women play, all a bit amusing.

Chase

Tyme's picture

Great breakdown, loved the article


Really a great article.

I visualize on a regular basis, but after reading your article I found my visualizations are not structured and pretty sporadic. Now I can't wait to start visualizing before a night out gaming and my business. With the action I take on a regular basis this will help me internalize the process.

Thanks Chase

DanM's picture

Great Post


Thanks chase as always really. really helpful post

Thomas's picture

Completely agree with


Completely agree with everything you said here and I'm sold on visualisation.This links in with what I've Richardus say before about i "success folder" or something similar to that which he would constantly revisit to remind him of what he's working towards. My question is that I have many things I'm towards: improving my skills with girls, bodybuilding and exams. Should I visualise a diferent subject every night or should I choose one and visualise it over and over and over to form a really strong bond?

Love the website Chase. Haven't read a bad post yet. Keep up the good work

Chase Amante's picture

Visualizing One Item or Many?

Author

Thomas-

That's an good question, and my answer would be that you'll probably see more marked progress in that one area if you focus exclusively on the one, versus more gradual progress across the board if you focus on many areas.

I took a three month period and visualized repairing some scars I have on my shoulders for 20 minutes a day during my morning commute (a lot of time spent in traffic with nothing to do, so it was either listen to music on the radio, or get some visualization time in). That wasn't a full deep 20 minutes, because I was driving and had to be somewhat engaged, but the focus was on scar repair the entire time. The result of it was that most of the small scars I had disappeared, and the larger ones grew very noticeably smaller. This after having had them for over a decade with no change, and a dermatologist telling me the only way to remove scar tissue was laser surgery. When I was focused on only the one thing, I found I was able to get into a much deeper focus, and really feel and experience breaking down the scar tissue in my shoulders and feeling it be absorbed and replaced by new skin. I haven't achieved that level of focus before or since in less focused visualization, where I'm trying to cover more visualization goals in a shorter amount of time. For the best result, you seem to really need to be focused on mostly one thing.

My preference these days is to pick a small number of closely related items and to focus on those. If you look up "vision board" on Google image search, you'll see a lot of very messy boards with a lot of images and text. I think this is wrong. You want a handful of things you're focused on - too many, and you're as unfocused as you are while not visualizing. It's still not as effective as focusing on just one thing, but I think it's the happy medium between only one focus that you're incredibly focused on, but perhaps neglects other important areas of your life, and so many focuses that you aren't focused at all and you're really just thinking normally about things.

Chase

lucifer's picture

Wow! I've never much believed


Wow!
I've never much believed in being able to change body-features through meditation, but even if I don't know you in person I have kind come to trust you...

Leonidas Chase's picture

Vision


If you can't envision it, you cant achieve it. The strongest mind will concentrate the most but action determines the truth within the Vision.

Lu's picture

Chase, I began using


Chase, I began using meditation roughly a year ago and needless to say, it has helped me become more relaxed and a better man overall I feel. However, I haven't used visualization too much and have only really focused on clearing my mind during sessions.

That being said, I have a huge challenge ahead of me: two months from today I ship out to Parris Island, South Carolina, for Marine Corps recruit training. Everyone I have talked to that has been through it said there is not much to prepare for it, but visualization seems like it could help. You talk about anchoring positive emotions to help cement a false memory, but do you think it would be possible when envisioning drill instructors screaming and other intense mental games? Any advice you could offer will be of great help. Thanks for the insightful article!

Chase Amante's picture

Visualization and Boot Camp

Author

Lu-

Yes, you should absolutely be able to use visualization to get better prepared for it. My Marine friends tell me Full Metal Jacket is the most realistic depiction they've seen of boot camp in Hollywood - if you haven't seen that one, see that, and then visualize yourself going through that.

In addition to training, I'd suggest reading up on normal Marine protocol. e.g., it's fairly common in Marine training to not tell you the rules, and not allow you to break them. So, a recruit may say, "Permission to use the bathroom, sir!" and the CO will say, "Permission denied, private!" and guys will end up peeing their pants because they don't know how to ask to use the bathroom. It isn't until they realize the proper protocol is to begin with, "Permission to speak, sir!" and then, only once permission is granted, asking for permission to use the bathroom.

I'm told it's much more mental than physical. And, by the end of the boot camp, everyone's bonded and you're joking around with your CO and it's become a fun experience instead of the torture it is the first few weeks.

If you visualize being beaten down mentally, and shrugging it off as all part of the learning process, I think that's where you want to be most focused in your visualizations.

Chase

Lu's picture

Thanks for the advice, Chase.


Thanks for the advice, Chase. There's one more question that's been heavy on my mind recently. Your Marine friends; how would you rate their overall success with women? Getting better with girls has been a major focus in my life, and I was curious as to how they do in the field. Since being in the military, especially the Marine Corps, requires a lot of sacrifice and discipline in comparison to the civilian lifestyle, I'm wondering whether or not I'll have the opportunity to build on my game while serving.

Lu

Mr. Rob's picture

Chase, interesting article as


Chase, interesting article as usual. This, to me, almost ties into Ricardus's Success Factor Article, as far as experiencing the emotions of what it would feel like to be a seducer. I am currently dedicating my free time to learning seduction and charisma as instructed in the success factor, which are my most important goals. I noticed you told Thomas, i think it was, above to focus on one distinct visualization for most success. To me that means if im trying to find my ideal girlfriend I would visualize myself going to the mall, or wherever, seeing this girl, approaching and talking to this girl, dating and taking this girl to bed and the whole process while experiencing every emotion in between. Got that part, here's what I dont get.... now im going to have that exact same visualization going to the mall and meeting the same girl and doing the 5 visualization steps every day until I meet this girl 3-6 months down the road. What if I need to meet her on the street or at the beach should I visualize the same scenario in different places or different girls w/ different interactions. It seems unbeneficial to visualize one particular girl in one particular location with the same interaction as you may never encounter that particular situation. Or am I too focused on one detailed situation and not the bigger picture of finding a girl that fits my blueprint and successfully taking that certain type of girl to be my GF.

Rob

Chase Amante's picture

Visualizing Specifics

Author

Rob-

You can change up your visualizations. e.g., imagine meeting her at the mall one session, the beach another, a train station or airport some other if you travel, on the street yet another, and so on. You can imagine the interaction going slightly different ways, too: you hit it off, and grab her number, and meet up with her later; you hit it off, tell her to come on with you and grab some food or an ice cream or coffee, and from there go on an adventure, and end up taking her to bed that day later on, etc.

Imagining different types of women can be helpful if you're trying to train your brain to be more comfortable with different girls. If your primary objective is finding one specific kind of girl though, then focus on just her; you'll attune your mind to her very well, and start feeling both a lot more excited and a lot more comfortable around her when you meet her... as if running into an old friend.

Chase

Jason's picture

I also believe that metaphysical energy also does play a part,


I see your point in the person noticing new things after the visualization. But I also believe that metaphysical energy also does play a part, the supreme, energy, ( God) as I call it, I also believe in the son and master Jesus) that's besides the point I am not here to try to change your religion, but, in your story, your friends friend, got a phone call from some one he knew in Cali ( San Diego) offering him a job and moving there, that is beyond noticing new things !!! that is, the supreme (god) energy rearranging things to go according to a persons hopes and FAITH) that would. It is faith, Jesus said ( ask the father and believing as though it is already done and it will be done for you), I also say as I learned the thing you want has to also benefit every one else that is involved in it and to help them grow, ) . so the law of faith and attraction does also work it is there. ( not just noticing new things, thats part of it but also believeing of the invisible energy of attraction. I do like what you wrote , it inspired me. i hope what I wrote also inspired you also!!

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