How to Vanquish Fear the Moment It Crops Up | Girls Chase

How to Vanquish Fear the Moment It Crops Up

Whether it’s the art of seduction, social prowess, travelling the world, starting a new business, or just picking up a new hobby, every man wants to be fearless. Every man wants to be able to take life by the horns, challenge his own hesitations, and take a step into making himself better.

But how do you do it? How do you overcome fear?

how to be fearless

Not just with jobs, not just with your social life, but with everything?

Today I’m going to talk about being fearless. I’m going to show you that you can transform yourself into a person who pursues his goals with endless determination.

Let’s go.

Colt WilliamsAbout the Author: Colt Williams

Raised in the American Midwest, Colt Williams made a name for himself in dating with a style based on soulful poetic seductions and playful dance floor antics. His style is all about inspiring girls and drawing them into one’s world. You can book phone coaching with him here, or get a copy of his guide to getting laid on Tinder, the product of months of study and experimentation by him on the medium.

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Comments

Moon's picture

Very inspiring article and useful especially for those starting out meeting women. Thank you Colt!

Author
Colt Williams's picture

Moon,

I definitely vividly remember what it was like to be just starting out, so I can certainly relate to the apprehensions and hesitations that come along with it. I'm glad it sparked some inspiration, and I'm excited for you. There's always a moment where you look back 6 months to a year later...and you see how far you've come, even if you're not a master yet. And *nothing* can replace how incredible that feeling is. All you have to do is put in that steady work to get there.

Go get it,
Colt

hiten's picture

hi colt...superb article...it made many things clear....got present to how fear stops you...its matter of practice...:)

Author
Colt Williams's picture

Hiten,

It's absolutely a matter of practice and having a firm belief in your sense of purpose. I'm glad you find it helpful, and hope that you will move past any doubts on your own path.

All the best,

Colt

Slow Hand's picture

Colt, Bravo!

I am constantly amazed at how often the articles on GC seem to speak directly to me. Coincidentally, I just put down 'the Brothers Karamazov', to the line, "the most personal things are the most universal." And in that light, I think you all do a fantastic job of identifying and proposing a solution to all sorts of personal and thus, universal obstacles in pick up and life. So far as I've seen, its unmatched online!!

I'm graduating college next June and have been grappling with the conundrum you described, about to book a ticket east. It has everything to do with deciding whether i want to take on the unconventional life Chase described, or opt for stability and comfort. I know what I really want. In fact, I'd like to write freelance and pick up anything else that catches my eye, getting by however I can. But the fear of failing, being seen as a cliche twenty something procrastinator, and being uncomfortable or unstable keeps me undecided.

I've come to terms with one specific point you made in your article; overcoming fear (just like learning a skill, and the skill of learning skills) is a long process. I like to think of every fear that I overcome as the last, like I'll wake up the next day ready to take on the world. But thats unrealistic. Although our minds are flexible, they have common thought patterns, so its not a 'one and done' breakthrough.

Thanks for the inspiration, and if you wouldn't mind, I'd love to send you a personal message and hear your thoughts on writing in general, and specifically writing abroad.

Looking forward!
SH

Author
Colt Williams's picture

SH,

I really appreciate the kind words. I think all of the writers here put in the time to make the articles as high-quality as they possibly can, and helping out readers like you is exactly why we do it.

It sounds like you're definitely ready to take on the unconventional life. I've been there -- it's so incredibly daunting at first. But the thing is, living abroad in the east is not too expensive, so finding freelance work to support yourself usually isn't too bad. And the amount of lessons and stories you'll get during your time there will be unmatched.

In terms of procrastination or being viewed as avoiding life...your 20's are the most important decade of your entire life. If you don't believe me, read the Defining Decade by Meg Jay. And it's those unique and character-building experiences that really shape you. You shouldn't avoid answering a call for fear of judgment. I always say that no one can live your life besides you. When you're 75 years old and you're thinking back on your life, are the naysayers going to be by your side saying: "See, I told you not to travel. Now you lived a stable life with a 40 year mortgage and minimal excitement...like the rest of us!" No! The naysayers will be nowhere to be found. Because the only common denominator in the entirety of your life is YOU.

So if you think that you want/need to take that trip...absolutely do it. And yes, feel free to pm me for more personal questions.

Seize that day.

-Colt

luc's picture

Man, that's a bit of a limiting belief saying the 20s are the best time of your life or the best time for experiences.

it reminds me of a quote from the movie "the easy life", where the brazen life-loving character replies to his friend -who was actually in his 20s- longing for the younger years:

"the most beautiful age is the one you've got. Day by day. Until the day you kick the bucket, of course"

Anonymous's picture

Hi colt
Do you have any idea when the article about high school pickup might be up?

Richard's picture

Anon,

Chase has said time and time again that no "article" on high school pick up iscoming out because no writer on the site has extensive pick up experience from high school. Myself included who actually started my senior year, but didn't really get super tight until after that summer.

Anyway, I've got a small post about it on the forums side of things:

http://www.girlschase.com/boards/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=3831

Anonymous's picture

Hi Richard
That's a nice article you wrote there and I am going to try to put it to use.
I commented on an other post of colt's. (I believe it was about party girls) and he replied saying that he would write an article about HS pickup and get it in the queue. I understand the problem you mentioned, but colt said he was already quite good with girls in high school.

Sincerely

Author
Colt Williams's picture

Anon,

I appreciate your passion in wanting a high school-focused article. I said that I was *ok* with girls in high school, but most of my success came from a lot of luck and being brazen in my approach to certain girls. So, I don't think I'd be equipped to lay out a full system on high school game. I looked into getting it into the queue with one of the other writers, but the powers that be have kept with the decision of having no high school game article for the reasons that Richard outlined.

But, as Richard emphasized, *everything* on this site can be applied to high school. So, if you do so, you should already have a leg up over everyone else. But if you really really want my thoughts on it, send me a message and I do what I can.

Cheers!
Colt

Anonymous's picture

Hi colt,

How do I stop comparing myselflf to other guys? Is it better to tell myself that I'm more attractive than them or to just not think about it at all?

Author
Colt Williams's picture

Anon,

The most effective way to stop comparing yourself to other guys is to become *completely* comfortable with yourself. The funny thing about comparing is that it has nothing to do with other people.

Because let me tell you something, no matter who you are in this world, there's always someone better looking, with more money, who's smarter, and just generally better in one way or another. BUT, that doesn't make you any less of a boss, because everyone in this world is completely unique. That also means that all those guys you compare yourself with have their own insecurities as well. They deal with acne, and sickness, and low-confidence and a lot of other things that plague males.

The key is to find out what you care about, and to put in the work to be the best you you possibly can be. And when you work on further developing things like your sexy vibe with women, other guys will become irrelevant.

Just keep putting in the work, and focus all your energy on improving and appreciating yourself. Win the battle within, and you'll win the battle without.

All the best,

Colt

Dave Grohl's picture

A good movie that I would recommend to see that addresses fearlessness is Fight Club with Brad Pitt. Its a great movie to watch to help develop many things important to seduction and self construction. Here are some things I picked up on in the movie that might be helpful:
-Brad Pitt's character makes extensive use of peacocking
-Devil may care attitude is represented very well
-If you are looking to cultivate a "rebel" persona like Chase mentioned in his identity article, this is a great example of what it looks like
-great lessons on fearlessness: "it's not until you have lost everything that you are free to do anything" and my favorite, "first you have to know, not fear, know, that someday you are going to die"
-realistic relationship principles used in the story: Marlo doesn't leave the main character even though he is crazy. He gives her mixed signals and treats her like crap becuase of his "condition"(you will understand if you watch) but she never leaves because of the great sex
All in all, great movie. It really changed my views on things, aside from being a great resource for seduction training.

Author
Colt Williams's picture

Dave,

Fight club is definitely a great one. You outlined its various applications really well. And in terms of seduction it is especially pertinent for men trying to developed grit/devil-may-care attitude. And it is also a great movie to get you thinking -- great suggestion.

Cheers,
Colt

Anthony Milewski's picture

Fear is sometimes what keeps you safe, not having fear and being careless can get you embarrassed, injured or even killed. Fear lets you know, 'I should be paying attention, this is serious.'
I love Gary Buseys' acronym for F.E.A.R from his show 'I'm with Busey' its stupid, but always stuck with me, and actually helped me overcome some fear I've faced. It is:
FEAR;
F.alse
E.vidence
A.ppearing
R.eal
Another quote I find helpful, though I do not know from whom it originated (thinking maybe F.DR), nor its exact quote word for word, though the idea/point will still get across, it's something like this: "Bravery is not from having no fear, it is from being afraid and still following through with the task regardless" (please correct the misquote, and leave the true credentials.)

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