How to Stop a Cockblock (Without Breaking a Sweat) | Girls Chase

How to Stop a Cockblock (Without Breaking a Sweat)

Over on the discussion boards, Landlord (a knowledgeable guy who's been having plenty of success and taking a bunch of girls to bed recently) asked about strategies on how to stop a cockblock:

cockblock

This girl was really into me, we had a great conversation, I went in for a kiss, she protested, I insisted, she gave me a strong, aggressive kiss/....she even 'apologized' for being so aggressive. Within 20 seconds, obstacle grabs her hand and drags her away.

HB9 immediately changes tone...says "you had your chance" and gives me her back walking away. I wait, go to the bathroom, then pursue. Ask for the number, she says "I would rather take yours, I want to be in control." I make a joke about that, put my number in her phone, then ring myself. She gives me shit about that. Will try to follow up, but not expecting any response.

A great interaction with a girl which included a kiss close and a number close was spoiled because I didn't handle the friend right....

The good news is, Landlord heard from the girl in his example here later on, and they made plans to meet up. So not all was lost (the full thread on the boards is here).

If you're out and about and actively meeting new women in social venues, though (picking up girls in bars, nightclubs, parties, lounges, networking events, happy hours, get-togethers), you're sure to run into the problem of cockblocks sooner or later, and you'll often end up going half-mad when you do. How can someone else just come up and interrupt you and this girl when you're talking to one another and simply drag her away?

In this article, we'll be aiming to help you remedy these situations, by examining the two approaches to neutralizing the cockblock: prevention of the thing, and cure.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

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Comments

Zac's picture

I always thought in a negative tone when it comes to cockblocking. Actually a part of me seeing cockblockers are some bitterness from some friends who have been affected by the girls who do it to them, and they are genuine people, (who don't date a lot of girls but this happens), and a certain experience in a social circle setting, It's stupid stuff really.

Guess sometimes today's experience trigger old memories, even the ugly ones happening to oneself. Can't block it though, ( need to understand why it cause that feeling)

I see increase in success with cockblocking when my fundamentals are tight. Yeap you are spot on. :) Be passive, don't be too overbearing, or try to win the group. Missed an escalation window! Yes! So impt

High energy, I have to tell you Chase. I dance in a club with friends and had a few girls have their guards up when i walk around them. Guess High energy doesn't really work so well, does it?

You're removing a huge brick of negativity from my life here. :)

Zac

Zac's picture

Chase,

Have you consider doing TED talks, or do you want to change the world, or at least the dating world with your knowledge if the opportunity presents itself some time in the future?

Zac

Nick's picture

That would be awesome; Chase you totally should. I view you as a visionary and you deserve recognition in the mainstream world even if some would get offended that some of your stuff is not politically correct; it is the truth and it helps men who take the time to study and do it and women all over are happy.
Then your teachings and influence will start a movement that will kill off all that politically correct mumbo jumbo and that " Just be yourself bullcrap" and kill off the procrastination that plagues most of our countries natives and women everywhere will rejoice that you taught men to be men.
Though, I have a feeling that you might be one of those guys that start something big and it gains little recognition then you die and someone who studied your stuff carries on your teachings and gains momentum and boom lives off the bounties of your hard work. Sorry, I have seen it so many times in history class, though their are some that gain the respect and recognition they deserve so do not lose hope.
Of course, all of that only matters if you want those types of things though.

Nick

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey fellas,

Zac, yeah, I enjoy TED Talks; never really thought of doing one myself. To be honest, I’ve been too busy trying to keep business afloat and get it to the point where I can really build the kind of team up here that can help take it to the next level and keep it going if I get sick or too burnt out or get my fingers broken in Krav Maga class and can’t type for a while. I think we’re close to that, so maybe I can get enough of a breather soon to start thinking about press and things along those lines. I could use a little more public speaking practice before embarking on something like that though; I'm a little rusty.

I do have some ways I’d like to potentially try and effect some real change in the world; I don’t know how much of an impact I’m having or will have via Girls Chase in that regard, but I tend to view this as good training for what is to come next. Anyway, it’d be a bit hubristic of me to start listing ways I’d want to change the world, since they’re primarily in things I haven’t started doing yet and it's all pie in the sky until you actually do it.

Nick, no need to apologize – my favorite author is the horror writer H.P. Lovecraft, who died broke and unknown, and was nearly forgotten altogether. The only reason he ended up becoming known enough to the point that he influenced every major modern horror fiction writer (Stephen King, Anne Rice, John Carpenter, Guillermo Del Toro… many more) was because August Derleth start republishing his work after he'd died.

Anyway, I don’t know that I’m doing anything all that profound here; I suppose the theories on effort and the nuances of conversation are rather new, but it’s all stuff people who are naturally socially gifted have been doing all along! All you could really say that I’ve done is break it down and explain it.

At some point once I’ve brought some more writers on here and I’m able to get a little breathing room, I’ll probably crank out a few books on some of this stuff – a relationships book, a book on conversation, and one on effort and investment and social interaction, most likely. Then do a revised version of HTMGC. And then maybe, in a few years, once all that's said, it starts being time for the next adventure, or maybe I find I can still contribute some more.

At some point though, you say all you’re going to say and it’s time to change fields. Even Einstein and Newton reached points where all they were doing in physics were repeating themselves – you’re most productive in your first 10 to 15 years in a field, when you’re still fresh and don’t know what your limits are. After that you tend to get too used to thinking a certain way and seeing some walls as being unbreakable… and then it’s time to retire or change fields to something where you can be fresh and enthusiastic and filled with possibility once again (e.g., Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Edison, perpetual field/focus changers, and men who stayed pretty damn productive throughout their entire lives; Steve Jobs and Elon Musk might be more recent examples).

Chase

Knight's picture

When talking to a woman what should my face be like? Does this change if I'm talking to a man or woman that I'm not interested in but have interests with being an ally? I've read your previous articles and enjoyed them - namely how to be a warm person.

I've been asking myself this question before coming to the comments though. So far I imagine for a woman that I have sexual interests in I should stay low energy, yet have a a small Daniel Craig-esque left hand side smile going on. When she says something I want to reward or genuinely agree with I should do the slow sexy smile.

Any thoughts on this and whether this changes with friends and males?
For men obviously I would obviously tone it down.

Knight

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Knight-

Sounds like you've got it down for women.

For men, yes, usually you'll want to drop this; it ends up feeling awkward to the other man when you're looking at him that way (it feels sexual). Use it if you want to mess with your friends' heads, but don't be surprised if men start touching you in places men don't usually touch or offering to buy you drinks! A more neutral / manly face is better for other men.

Chase

Nish's picture

Hi Chase,

Awesome stuff. It used to happen to me, but now as i am getting more experienced this is happening very less. Still happen though. As i am applying more social skills, and as i am learning the behavior of people there is one thing that hit me so hard that i almost feel so hateful. I had one night stand with a Gorgeous Latino. In the morning, when we just finished breakfast and i was about to leave for my home, she suddenly said " I am glad, i spend last night with you, if i had listened to my girl friends i would have missed this amazing thing with you" I asked her "What your Girl Friends told you?" She told me that most of her Girl Friends including Latins, Europeans and some American don't like the brown skin guys (I am Mix. Half Turkish, Half Indian), and they just ignore them, because they think only white people are good". This thing hit me too hard. Why it is like this? Why still there is this Racist Mentality among the White Girls? As i am in China now, and i remember one of your article regarding Foreign Girls. In that you talked about how foreign girl in any other foreign country feel so good when some guy from other foreign country approach them. But here it is not the same. Can you give me some tips on how to change this mentality of white girls.

lucifer7's picture

What you're saying about a whole bunch of people ("white/latins/europeans/americans) is a little bit too generic and simply not true about those groups as a whole.

There are obviously someone who are indeed a bit racist and/or might not like your features (which is different than being racist in the latter case), but changing that is like... Asking how to change the world, you know that... ? :)

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Nish-

Sounds like you're an interesting mix - I'd imagine you probably have a pretty exotic look. Usually that's a good thing!

Like Lucifer noted, only some light-skinned women have this mentality. Others find dark-skinned men alluring and attractive. Still others have dark-skinned fetishes and will ONLY date dark-skinned men.

You can pretty reliably tie it to conservativeness... the more conservative a girl is, the more she tries to stick with what she knows and reduce risk-taking as much as possible. The less conservative, the more open to new experiences, the unfamiliar, and risk. Generally, the less conservative a girl is, the easier it becomes to get her to cross racial lines. The more conservative, the more difficult it becomes.

For changing that mentality - the best tip is turn yourself into the most attractive man possible. Get charm, edge, and conversational abilities all down; get a compelling sexual vibe. Get a sexy hairstyle, facial hair style, fashion, and a good body. Get great posture and a great walk and great facial expressions and slow, powerful movement speed.

The more attractive you are and the stronger an impression you make, the less women are paying attention to your skin tone and the more they're paying attention to the fact that you bowl them over with sexiness. The tighter your fundamentals are, the more race takes a back seat.

Chase

anonk's picture

Hi chase.Is it possible for me to learn freelancing in three months?I want to learn the skill before I go to college but I don't know where to start or how to do it.I am passionte about soccer if that's any help thanks :-)

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anonk-

Sure. You need a base level in some skill to get you started - writing ability, programming, web design, etc. I'd do a Google search for guides on freelancing out there - how to win more bids, build a great profile, etc. Then head to somewhere like oDesk or Guru and build a profile and start taking some tests and looking for work. My friends who've made good money doing it recommend you start out underbidding to win work and get some ratings, make sure you do a great job, and then start bidding higher as you get more positive feedback and more experience and your profile begins to look more trustworthy.

If you really plow the time into learning it and doing it in the 3 months before college, I'd imagine you'll probably be in a good place once college starts and will probably have a solid profile that enables you to get work and extra income when you'd like it (assuming you already have some marketable skills; if not yet, then it'll be a work in progress, but 3 months will still help a lot toward getting you there or close to there).

Chase

Funman's picture

Hey Chase,
You are an absolutely a master of game.

1) If you are talking to a girl and she is telling you some story and then her friend arrived and is standing right next to the 2 of you (she’s not pulling her away),
Directly look at her friend and say with a smile “Hello, are you her friend of Katie? My name is Funman”, and then tell the girl “I think your friend wants to say something to us”, (saying this calmly and politely)

Your thoughts ?

2) What is your opinion on giving a statement of intent a) before you have kissed a girl b) after kissing her?

3) In response to one of my questions in your blog. You responded and I placed the quote here.

“Chase frames - yes, sexy but unmoved, like Bond. You don't want to seem to be growing obviously aroused / excited, or else it's too much (and looks too reactive). You instead want the appearance of a man who is himself sexual, and who's simply projecting his emotions onto her and causing her to feel the same (which, actually, is what you're doing).”

Now in the article written by Ricardus on The Legend of California Pimp part 2. If you could read the first point about the “Blame Frame” etc

A quote from that article by Ricardus is here

“He does that by saying things like "look what you're doing to me", with a voice tone like he’s incredibly turned on, or "you are making me a little nervous", "I can't handle this, go easy with me".
Isn’t this contradictory to your statement above?

Funman

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Funman-

See the article on breaking circle about what to do when people are hovering nearby you and someone you're talking with.

Statements of intent - these seem work better when the girl views you as equal or lower social status to herself, and when she's undecided about whether she wants anything with you and is inclined to push back. When she views you as unquestionably higher status and she's fantasizing about you and comfortable with it, it's best not to say anything and instead just do.

Same deal with projecting - when you're telling her, "God, look at what you're DOING to me! This is all your fault!" that works best when she's on the fence about you and viewing you as equivalent or lower status.

My theory on why it seems to work this way is that stating things verbally produces more buy-in, which is good with women who are less certain about you. However, with women who are already bought-in, it just seems odd and incongruent if you continue seeking buy-in. So, pace her reality based on where she's at - on the fence, get verbal buy-in first; ready to go, skip the buy-in and get down to business.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase, I already have a few girls in my sexual orbit (thanks to the site)

But I'm interested to know the most efficient way to keep interest among all of them

And I say efficient because I don't have time to focus on all of them all the time. So juggling them is getting difficult and some advice would be greatly appreciated

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

If you're electing not to sleep with a girl, you'll tend to see attraction expire if too much time passes.

However, you CAN slow or pause this process by removing yourself and any reminders of her from your life. e.g., the high school daters who never sleep together then go off to different colleges and different lives, only to discover each other again after each divorces in his/her 50s or 60s and they get back together again and it's all fresh and new and amazing.

Attraction expires as she becomes more comfortable being around you and interacting with you in a non-sexual way. So, easiest way to maintain interest over a long period of time is this: drop off her radar, and don't pop back up again until you're ready to make some magic happen.

Chase

Nick's picture

Hey Chase,
Awesome article that brought a realization to the sudden change of girls friends and how they act toward me when I started changing my fundamentals several months ago. :)
Anyway my question is not related to girlschase specifically. I remember you saying how you were able to ace tests in college without spending to many enduring bloodshot eye nights.
What was your process for studying that made your little time spent doing it efficient?

Nick

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Nick-

Glad to hear it hit home!

In college, the first thing I'd do is figure out where most of a professor's test questions were coming from. I noticed that the majority of professors pull most or all of their questions from either the textbook or from what they teach in class (e.g., one professor's tests will have absolutely nothing to do with anything she teaches, and everything to do with the book, while another professor's tests she'll have answered every single future test question already in class).

If the professor tested from the book, I'd skip going to class and just read the book.

If the professor tested from class, I'd skip reading the book and just take good notes and re-read those before a test.

When I'd occasionally end up in a class with a teacher who tested from a combination of what he taught in class AND what was covered in the book, I'd drop that class (or late drop it) if I could; it wasn't worth the work to me to have to attend the class AND read the book when I could find a different course to meet the same requirement that was more efficient.

I made taking good notes and participating in class a priority (most teachers test from their notes, and don't test anything from the book they did not cover in class). Participating forces your mind to be more actively involved, the lessons learned stick better in your mind, and less studying outside the classroom is required. Good note taking (e.g., I'd have very clearly marked headers and subheaders and whatnot) was important for me too because, while it didn't matter while making the notes, it made re-reading them later IMMENSELY easier and more efficient. You also think about the notes you're making more at the time you make them when you're trying to organize them well, and that makes it easier to recall them while reviewing later, greatly speeding up the studying process.

Basically, I front-loaded as much of my learning and have it happen in the classroom by being as engaged as I could with participation and note-taking, so I'd have as little studying or work later as possible (I'd also try to do homework during class as soon as it was assigned in any free moments; if I could finish the day's homework before class was even over, I considered that a victory - more free time later). I learned to keep one eye open, so to speak, even while falling asleep in class, so I'd kind of hear a question, wake up, answer it, take a note, then fall asleep... then wake up, jot some more notes, answer another question. I had several teachers comment frustration that the guy who kept falling asleep seemed to know more than anyone else in class (they wanted the other students to participate more).

My philosophy was always, if I'm going to have to sit here for an hour anyway, I might as well cram as much of my learning in as possible while there and give myself the freedom to do whatever I want with the rest of my time.

Chase

Ishan Kingpin's picture

Chase,
Can you write an article describing how to be witty please??

I think its a powerful social skill but Humor never comes naturally to me.so always what I do is forcing myself to make a banter or witty comment but hardly that comes as funny or clever.most of the time I see my asshole comments bores my friends or they makes fun of it.I have many friends but they never like being around a piece of shit like me.I feel like I'm just a value less social burden who always gets the dirty look from people (especially girls.).But I really want to change,I want to be flirty,fun but dont know from where I can bring the humor in me.

I am not good at English,so please ignore my writing mistakes.
I enjoy reading your articles,thanks for being there,where nobody else were around.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Ishan-

I certainly can - it's on the article queue!

Chase

Scofield's picture

Great article, but I feel like you might have missed out on addressing cockblocks from guys as opposed to girls. How do I deal with the friendzoned guy or the guy who brought her there on a "date" or hangout?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Scofield-

Actually, all these will tend to work just as well with male cockblocks as with female ones. However, if you want a little advice more specific to men stepping in, check this article out: Dealing with Disruptive Men.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase,
Love the articles man, they've really helped improve my game.. You discussed how to stop a cock block by her friends, but what do you do if one of your friends is hanging around as a third wheel? A scenario where your friend's presence is preventing you from escalating or is making things awkward. How can I get him to go without being an ass and move forward with the girl?

Mr. JM's picture

Hey Chase,

I'm an American male of Italian descent living and studying in Mexico. I notice that the local women here are VERY receptive to Mediterranean looking males. They don't initially think that I'm an "gringo" appearance wise, of course, when I open my mouth they know; therefore I don't think that they are paying attention to me just because they initially perceive me to be some rich American that will provide them with some kind of meal ticket.

However, I've noticed that cockblocking, especially with the local men here, seems to be rife in bars and clubs. I've also gotten the impression that it's much harder to immediately take a random girl to bed here as opposed to the girls back in the States or girls from Anglo and Nordic countries. I've met so many girls that were willing to hug and make out with me all night but got scared when it came down to actually getting down and dirty.

So my question(s) is this: Are you familiar with the dating/pickup scene in any Latin American country. In other words, have you ever actually lived in a Latin American country and gotten familiar with the local women there? If the answer is yes, then could you tell me if these barriers that I've been running into are cultural barriers, or if I'm actually doing something wrong.

Thank you.
Mr. JM

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