How to Prevent Cheating by Your Girlfriend | Girls Chase

How to Prevent Cheating by Your Girlfriend

how to prevent cheatingYesterday I made a post on the infamous scenario of when a girl has a boyfriend and you want to date her or get together with her anyway.

As you might expect (though I admittedly hadn't really thought about before making the post), some guys got upset and one of them responded with, and I paraphrase, "How could you?" (another one responded with a comment that wasn't as eloquently put and didn't merit posting)

How could I what, you might ask? Why... how could I share with men this forbidden knowledge on how to get girls who are already attached! Now, I get a lot of people asking myself to censor myself on this website - human sexuality is the single most controlled and censored thing in recorded (and doubtless before recorded) history, after all... we're all biological organisms, and the ultimate aim of all biological organisms is reproduction. Everyone and their brothers wants to be able to control the system, maximize their own abilities to mate, and prevent others from becoming or remaining threats to them.

But as luck would have it, I prepared a companion piece for yesterday's post on how to get a girl with a boyfriend: namely, one on how to prevent cheating; or, how to make your girlfriend not want to stray... and how to make her so crazy about YOU that no other guy will be much of a threat.

Do please note: we're going to take a walk down evolutionary psychology road, so if you have any reservations about wanting to open up the hood on relationships and see what's really underneath, this ain't the post for you. You have been warned...!

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

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Comments

Essem's picture

Simply Eloquent. The truth of it, bolts and screws and all.

Though out of subject, I wonder if you have ever thought of posting an article about James Bond movies/novelties and the qualities he exudes in relation to seduction, confidence, and attainability? I believe you have posted something of similarity, nothing in depth however.

Skye's picture

Hey Chase! Love the blog, been a reader for a while now but I haven't seen anything here about getting a girl that's at work. Waitresses tend to be very attractive but not really receptive due to most likely gettung hit on all day, and just being overall busy, tired etc. Some inight from yourself and Ricardus on this would be really fun to see! Sounds like a good topic for a long awaited newsletter yes?

Skye

Eric's picture

I don't seem to have this problem.. I find it easier than any other place to get dates, and personally I find it better if you do it earlier in the day. It's hilarious when they make comments about how you are drunk but then realize you've been drinking water when you order another one. For the one's that are on autopilot, just call them over and ask if they are single.. They usually know which of their coworkers are single or not, so you can actually ask around if you do it without looking sleazy.. "Damn.. well you're all so cute which one of you isn't single?" (I don't use this, it's conjecture..).

I've also started a game once by asking if they are required to say they have a boyfriend, and then if they say no (or maybe yes..) you can tell them to bring others over to test this "theory" you have. It also makes you feel like a pimp having hot women brought over to you while you relax.

Other things that my friends have done to lighten the mood and keep them on their guards is to ask them what everyone's name is, or if they remember. You can introduce themselves after they introduce themselves as their waiter, and then quiz them every so often. Mix around the names just to keep them on their toes and to tease them. I also like to pause and make the waitress nervous a little bit when speaking.

sd's picture

Chase states the realities of how things work he is no more than a messenger, dont shoot the messenger. He is right, and we as males are lucky women will generally be faithful to a strong faithful man.

Great follow up post, and if you read "girl has a boyfriend" inbetween the lines you would not need to read this post for it shows the angles other men will take to get your woman.

By the way you helped me win my woman and create a pleasent home enviroment.

Just Dave's picture

I've read just about every blog on this site and even read Chase's book. I put into action what I learned from the blog as well as my own personal style. And guess what I was able to get girls , I wasn't relying on luck or hope. I relied on skill and my own drive. The truth is I've seen all this (cheating) on both sides of the field. "If" your girlfriend cheats on you, learn. And realize that maybe "I" wasn't a great boyfriend. Maybe "I" was being too selfish or elusive to keep the relationship going. Then better yourself. You know what though I changed to be able to be a romantic man, that my current girlfriend loves and appreciates. I don't supplicate or even spends loads of cash on her because simply I don't have that. I have the ability though to give her a great experience.

When someone cheats on you its not the end of the world, rather its the opportunity to take on the world. You can find someone better and be someone way cooler. Get your new girlfriend involve and work together like Ricardus said improve together. Do new things and most importantly love yourself before you can love others. Let the past go and simple live and enjoy your life. More importantly don't try to force a fit into a relationship. In your heart you always know that maybe this may or may not have been a good idea. But, hey I wouldn't like yoga or skateboarding if I never tried them. ;)

Take care,

Just Dave

annus horribilis's picture

really good article, keep em' coming

Franco's picture

I absolutely have to applaud you on your last two posts, Chase. Not only because of how accurate they are, but also because they do not hold back in representing the truth.

I used to be an idealist myself (or as you stated, a "Disney-ish" believer) who believed that women just wanted what was romantic and displayed in romantic movies. What was ironic is that I was actually so confidently idealistic, I would attract tons of beautiful women because they could sense the confidence and security in my own beliefs. However, I started to notice a trend that I would often "befriend" these beautiful women (even after taking them on lavish, "dreamy" dates) instead of becoming lovers and entering relationships with them. One girl eventually changed all of that for me and was even the primary cause of me finding this website... but that's a story of its own.

Anyway, bottom line is, anyone reading this material who DOES NOT YET BELIEVE IT or finds it somehow "offensive" should actually be worshipping the ground you walk on. If there is anything I have learned in the last year (and especially the last 6 months), it is that the ability to truly understand social dynamics, dating, relationships, and women is an absolute blessing. It absolutely destroys fear, and it utterly reinforces your level of confidence. And confidence, with the ability to be unfazed in the most desperate of situations, is one of the most attractive qualities a man can have around women.

Please continue to "not hold back your punches." The only flak you will continue to receive are from those who have not overcome their own fears and past experiences. Maybe someday these blog posts will begin to resonate with them.

I am absolutely looking forward to your book on relationships!

Cheers!

Adam M's picture

you brilliant, :) you give humanity another chance to make things right again. thank you

Anonymous's picture

Could you write about what you mentioned, the whole making a girl feel TOO secure ? A I also agree with the top commenter you should elaborate on the "James Bond qualities" that you have mentioned before ;)

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey Anon,

James Bond is still in the works, but a post on making a girl feel too secure is live now here:

If Your Girls is Bored, Change These 6 Things

Hope that does the trick.

Cheers,
Chase

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey fellas, glad to hear this one resonated.

On the requests:

  1. James Bond
  2. Hired guns
  3. Over security in relationships

... let me see what I can do.

On the newsletter: I haven't forgotten, I've actually got a really cool, highly polished free ebook finished and ready to go to relaunch the newsletter going out regularly again, but I need to get a few things retooled on the backend before I can get the newsletter set to go out. Right now I'm over my quota sending newsletters just to the people on the autoresponder, so need to upgrade or switch delivery services to before I can start sending out new newsletters again. Stay tuned on that one.

On the praise - thanks, gents. And on the guys attesting I helped out a bit with love lives - very cool of you to let me know that, I appreciate it. Good to know this stuff is helping to make a few waves and helping guys do better with things.

We've still got a bunch of great articles coming up from Ricardus on relationships, and I'll be on travel but I'll see if I can cook up one or two over the next few weeks on something interesting (maybe one of these topics).

Cheers, all-
Chase

Derrick's picture

I think far too many guys in relationships get far too complacent, and think that because they are in a relationship that their girl is obligated to stay faithful.

I wouldn't go as far as to say these guys think their girl is their property, even if many people say "he/she is mine"

Rick C's picture

Chase, Excellent article. I wish somebody would have woken me up to your site a couple of years ago and educated me on this topic. Right now, my wife of 13 years that I have 2 beautiful young kids with is in the process of divorcing me. She had an emotional affair with a co-worker last year after I largely checked out of our relationship due to work demands, trying to manage the household, dealing with managing our daughter's ADHD and wrongfully thinking that her and my relationship would just maintain itself and that the other things were most important Being what a woman wants and being attentive to their needs is the way to keep them. I evidently hurt her somewhere in there and I can't get her back. Been desperately trying all year round and I can't get her to go to couples therapy. I think that the emotional affair with her co-worker is over, however, the effect of that affair was a catalyst for her to seek a divorce. I've been trying to improve myself, be a stand up guy to her and our kids and turn this thing around. She notices the positive changes, but says she doesn't love me anymore...it's too little too late she says. I haven't given up hope and I'm going to keep on trying even after the divorce because I love her and I love our kids.

You have good advice here. I think it might be beneficial to have a post on the unique factors of an emotional affair versus the typically thought of physical affair.

Sydney Girl's picture

My bet is she returned to you.

Yoshi 's picture

So my situation is as follows. I know this girl who has a boyfriend and he's definitely a beta and is constantly nagging her and is insecure. However shes very socially savvy and does A LOT of talking with her eyes. She's one of those girls that can get men to do whatever she wants. Me, I'm very attractive, heavy into fashion, pretty boy, muscular, and I have a great presence and I would consider myself to be able to hold my own socially with almost any girl now, most times I bed girls in the first or very soon after we've met. Back to my story, I get the feeling that she has tried to hint to me that she's wanted me for a while just purely based off of her eye contact and statements that I swear carrysubliminal sexual messages. Fast forward to today, we randomly ran into eachother at a train station by a shopping center and she offered to buy me some clothes, I accepted and she got me some jeans and a few shirts. Before I knew it, I led her to my place after it seemed as if she purposely asked to have her phone charge in my place so that we could later come back inside. We got to my room and flirted around a little and she kept insisting that she wanted to leave, while her actions and eye contact were saying the complete opposite. I kind of lost control of the situation and long story short we didn't end up having sex because she said she didn't want to cheat--cool. How would you have dealt with this situation. I waited a while after we got into my room to initiate any sort of flirting because I hesitated and don't quite know how to always close the show when it comes to "highly socially aware" women. It's like they play the eye contact and body language better than me, so I don't know how to react. Usually with these girls I always get the feeling that they're hinting at metro sort of man up and take it, but I'm never sure because they communicate it so subtly so I end up waiting to long when we get to the room and I feel the sexual window close so fast! Should I have just moved in on her aggressively and just grabbed her face, or do I play the game and wait for her to want me. How exactly do you deal with these types of sharp women, how do I pick up on cues, and is it safer to just go in aggressively? Lol, I know I'm ranting but thanks.

Yoshi

Bob's picture

Very interesting read and once one does not experiences this oneself it does not make sense. If I knew what I knew now and read this article I would have never bothered getting in a commited relationship. The amount of effort, trial and error and basically minimal return is just not worth it. Seems relatipnships are now build on games and impulses. There is no such thing as mutual respect and support. This article just highlights that being a sensible macho wins hands down. How about writing some pieces when children are involved? Seems there is a lot a real man has to do but women on the other hand can pick and choose? Funny thing is I can relate with a lot of the things here but overall am left wondering why bother with a relationship of this type? Try to play the little Spiel as mentioned in this article will leave you emotionally tired, drained and time better spend.

Anonymous's picture

I can relate to the third reason women cheat. I was "dating" a girl exclusively and she was totally wrapped around my finger. However, I refused to call her my girlfriend or publicly display our relationship. Long story short she cheated and made it obvious so she could get caught. She begged me to stay in the relationship with her and has apologized/ done anything to make me want to come back. So my question to everyone here if i do really like this girl do I take her back and how do I remain the dominant assertive alpha male that she was attracted too?

sumit's picture

Sir i have read ur article thoroughly.... u are like God to me . I love u r thoughts and equally agree. Just have no words to thnk u ... u are great and seems mastered the relationship thesis...its quite helpful to me to get out of the pain i am feeling due to infidelity , now i will improve myself and eradicate my mistakes ... u r absolutely right by saying girls need guy who secure her offsprings future... hats off to you ... will love to have ur email id .

R3@L's picture

I did the first part of the assignment about preventing the guy from committing crimes. if i take the guy out of the bad city and into a good one and give him a job then i solved it its not difficult. u right about some key points. but studies show women cheat more then men do. it could be for any reason or no reason at all. but it doesn't get reported because women are good liars. she may love u but feels the need to sleep with other men due to temptation (which u are trying to sell) and then comes home with a smile on her face like nothing happened. men do this but they get caught more then women do.(do some research on that and get back to me). the way you talk sometimes it would seem you are posing your self as the snake from the garden of Eden. anyone could cheat if you apply enough force and pressure on a relationship no matter how good it is and this goes for women especially. but you sound hypocritical in some ways about your previous article and in some in this article. i can see your biased statements. which makes you seem like a some kind of feminist. "you say if you try to PREVENT cheating, you will FAIL, 9 times out of 10" but later on the article you give ways to prevent it which is 1 of the hypocritical statements. when you say "don't try and stop her" basically means don't do anything to save your relationship basically just let it happen. WTF!! and you cant win by trying to stop people duh that's how you win. and remember some people don't know what they have until its gone and they are left with regret. which is why they might cheat on you with an ex.

wrote this in a hurry btw so i might be a bit vague here in there.

Anonymous's picture

I originally came here looking on ways on how to become more secure in my relationship (I am female) and I ran across this article. It is amazing. Even though I was looking for advice on the opposite sex, this gave me a new standpoint on my own relationship of 8 years. I have never been insecure in my relationship, but my bf cheated on me last year and I can't seem to stop worrying if it will happen again. This article made me c that I can't keep living in fear , as long as I provide love and satisfaction, I can't stop cheating but I can stop being so negative and change within myself. I try to control his actions, but I'm really gona take some of this advice. Thank u for the great post !

jbone's picture

i dont know what people think when they get angry at this... if they look at this article it obviously means they are searching for some help in their security and in their relationship. i gotta say this hit at home with me. ill be a man about it. i haven't been the most secure man and i have let insecurities get the best of me and ive been searching for ways to resolve my issue. this article was inspiring and its going to do me a lot of good. im going through this situation as we speak. i have had thoughts of my girlfriend cheating but in reality its not the issue. my problem is everything thats mentioned here about why the girl isnt in the relationship as much as i am and looks at me as weak. reason... is my trust issue and my being too controlling. were currently not together but we still live together. she tells me she needs her space meaning not be on top of her all the time, and that she wants me to prove that we can make our friendship just as important as everything else (which hasnt been the case at all) she wants me to be friendly with her and in time if we want more we'll try again. i let her down day in and day out. its been this way for about a month now. im always trying to make it more and i havent really respected her wants and needs. ive been selfish with mine. and thats having all of her. i really am pushing her away. shes 23 and ill be 24 next week... she's the second type you mentioned in the article about being the type that has been with very few men...3 to be exact. shes a christian who reads her bible everyday. she does likes to have fun and go to a party occasionally but shes not the partier. you know the type. shes a great girl who deserves and wants to be respected and have a leader and a go getter as her man. i can be that guy. i just dont know if its too late for me to be that for her. we've been together over a year 1/2. i want it to work and im willing to do what it takes. cause its only gonna make me happier and succeed in the long run. great article. needed this. your a smart man! thanks

Lost my best's picture

This whole article described my whole last relationship to a T. She was a dynamic woman but a very loyal one till....the relationship stalled, I made her insecure, and I was not ready for marriage and a baby and she was...short order it ended in disaster with her running straight out the door to another guy....She came back and we tried again and well guess what...you are doomed to repeat if you don't realize how this all works. Do not expect anything but a tragic ending if your woman is dynamic AND she does not get what she needs (not want...needs). Good luck guys and as hard as this is all to read it is the truth. I turned a blind eye to it all and have 7 years of what- ifs and regrets. You can only move forward from there but if you LISTEN to someone that has already been through the fire you will listen to this man in this article. Fucking Gospel truth he wrote!

Matt's picture

One of the best written posts ive read. You break it down to a tee and I can agree with everything you say. Great job!

Musa's picture

Chase, I've always believed that when it comes to matters of the heart there are no standard formulars or solutions hence I've always ignored following advise from magazines and internet.....

But Damn this is good, and it sure sounds like it comes from someone who has been around,lol

Because no matter how much we would like to think we all unique induvidual's and should be excluded from these stats, one can't help but notice the common outcomes/trends derived from a particular group of people's actions (the different characters)

May I perhaps request that you give us advise or insight as to why as a man you still feel bad/hurt when a woman cheats on you even though you know very well you did not make her happy...(sometimes on purpose.)

I find myself in a situation where a woman whom I constantly criticised for not being good enuf for me eventually cheated,I had plans to leave her anyway, but when she cheated first I felt crushed, WHY????

I learned a lot from this post, especially with reference to my case, the qoute below stood out :

"And be ready if you can't meet her needs to let her go - time is a lot more important to women than it is to men. As a man, your value only increases as you age - hers drops. If you can't give her what she wants - children, ultimately - put aside the selfish desire to keep her for companionship and intimacy, and release her to go find a man who can"

Besski Livius - The Long Distance Lover's picture

This is one of the most comprehensible articles I've ever seen anywhere on web about cheating, being a man and relationships in general, and believe me I've been reading a few lately.

I love the subject of relationships, and this particular issue is one of the most frustrating ones for both men and women. And here you give an great amount of great insights about how to prevent infidelity.

One thing that I loved most was the idea of giving her the freedom to do what she wants. I call this the Freedom of Choice technique, and what it does is puts the power in her hands, so that she chooses to stay with you, and it's not you controlling her. For me it's as simple as telling her "Baby, if you like a guy, and you want to sleep with him, NO Problem go for it, but keep in mind that the relationship is gonna be over.

But of course, you need to be a GOOD boyfriend for her, so that she chooses you over other guys.

So, amazing article. Glad to have found it and spent 20 minutes reading it. :) Cheers!

LR's picture

Well, my fiance is very controlling and he's isolated me after cheating on him a lot because other guys have tempted me and I did the deed. We live in Atlanta, GA and it's a very conservative environment. Guys are very possessive over their wives and girlfriends and they would never let them work out of the house, socialize with other people, especially other guys, go out alone, etc. They will always point out that they are the perfect partner than these other guys so that way you don't end up with the imperfect guy.

Romantic Cynist JA's picture

Okay, so for the past two week I have been talking with this girl. Got her into bed on the first date, nailed it, gave her a time of her life. However, she left he e-mail logged in on my computer (saw some sent pics that would make anyman jealous), she has really sexual texts in her phone (she allowed me into her phone btw) but deleted them afterward. She even gave me her fb password and the messages she sent and are having are highly sexually in content( recent like a week), yet she wants a relationship, she seems all heads over heels for me. How should I go about screening her?

Nietzschian's picture

So she's a go gal, and now she goes for you. Chances are that she has been trying very hard to find a guy that fits what she's looking for and she got you. Those messages were most likely continuations from before you hooked up, and won't continue if she continues to devote herself to you. Just keep an eye on her habits towards you, if there's a significant change, things may not be working out.

LR's picture

Well, women love jealous men.

Tyler's picture

How about a nice medium...

A girl that is fun, but not monogamistically challenged?

You're either bored and in a relationship, or you're single and lonely.

There's rarely any electricity left in a relationship after a short period of time. Feels like you either have to accept the fact that you're going to be bored and in a relationship or you're going to be single and lonely.

Unless the two of you have EQUALLY busy schedules and see each other enough to stretch that "short period" of time into a period of time that may or may not be relatively longer than that "short period" in reference to Shakespeare's "conserve love."

Tommie's picture

Hi , I used to be a "PUA" until I really kinda found myself by talking a lot and meeting interesting people and other hobbies.
From time to time I read these kind of summaries to see how others see women, and I often find them too black or white.

But, I must say this one really got me. I have dated 3 girls over the last 3 years, and they all were the perfect examples of those dynamic women. I am a professional dancer, and these masterpieces of ladies do appear a lot in our scene.

But this time I thought it was different, until she called me from far away, telling me she might cheat, as sex isn't the only thing that defines a relationship. She's kinda right, but I'm too loyal, too conservative- too romanticus maybe....

So I guess the only thing I can do is break up, because she will do it. She says because she needs to 'feel' to feel wanted, to be treasured. I just sense that right now she's still holding on but not for long, she's taking distance.
But how do you move on from these girls? I 've had my heart literally smashed 3 times now (i'll count the current one as well cos the break up will be enormously painful- she ticks off ALL the qualities :/ ), and I keep meeting these kind of women because I'm very social myself...

And where do you find those non-dynamic women? :P

(no native english speaker - my apalogies)

Flirting's picture

Wow, this was very informative. I'm a girl peeking around at this awesome blog, and I'm embarrassed to say that I sort of cheated on my boyfriend of 1.5 years recently. He let me do it, because he knew I wanted some fun, but now he's pretty pissed, naturally.

Before this I never really wanted other guys. He was (and still is sort of) all that I ever wanted and needed. It took me 5 months to get to that point, but once I was there, I felt that way for exactly 1 year.

Now, I'm starting to feel restless. My boyfriend is shorter than me (I'm slender and 6'0 tall, he's even skinnier and 5'10), and that's always been something that's bothered me. I'm so sad to say that he recently lost his job and is looking for something new. We also grew up differently; therefore, he's a pretty frugal guy, while I prefer to spend money on comfort because it makes me feel good.

Nonetheless, I love him. He's a wonderful person. He's supportive, affectionate, gives me time and attention that I really need, and helped me through a lot.

Sadly, when some tall, good-looking, wealthy guy steps into my life, I could not help but follow him to boat on the beach while my boyfriend went off on a road trip with his bros for a week. I'm really sorry that I hurt him, and I'm wondering if it's time for me to step away so I don't hurt him again.

Judging from your post, I'll try to do things to make him more powerful to me. Introduce BDSM maybe?

On a side note, I am a dynamic high sex drive woman. I want it all the time, and I think he's not able to keep up quite so much anymore bc he says it makes him tired.

While I don't disagree with you about avoiding high sex drive women, you act as though we are unworthy of relationships and should be avoided at all costs. We just like sex, like men.

Jeffrey's picture

The first reason as to why women cheat is a bit tricky to me. I have no problem keeping a perfectly balanced security in my relationship but what exactly do you mean by weak? Would a man appear weak if he openly shows his weaknesses or sensitivity to his girl?

JZ's picture

My previous gf recently cheated on me. We were doing long distance and she admitted to cheating on me. People keep telling me to not take it personally and that it isn't my fault, but how can i not?

This article was an eye opener, I've learned a lot from it and I feel a bit more confident in a relationship where infidelity does not exist. You have restored my hope in love.

Sapiosexual's picture

Well here it is. When even the most Dynamic Woman finds true love, she will give her heart, throw herself into her relationship and steadfastly settle down.
A lot of men choose (sometimes mousey) 'Reliable Women', on the advice of their fathers, peers and old fashioned cliches, just like what this page propagates. Well, guess what, look around you, these often plain, plump, apparently low sex drive women OFTEN cheat on their partners and leave them. These women appear NOT to be Dynamic, it's just they ACT like butter wouldn't melt in their mouth. The reality, as many head scratching men are left to see, is very different. Do you really think all is fair in love and war? Do you really think that you guys are the only ones going in with game plans? Dynamic women are just honest and it all looks much more than it is, they don't cover up and pretend. Mousey women are usually just conniving witches. I know, I'm a woman and I can tell you guys, you'd need to be on your toes with them.

It is not really right to judge a woman who may be Dynamic and assume she will not give her heart to one man. Surely you can see that she will tire of the brittle life, of being UP all the time. Even dynamic women need stability, family life and security. She is not a worse bet than her (mousey) apparently less dynamic counterpart. In some ways because of her Gung Ho attitude, when she commits, she will make that relationship a huge focus. I had a boyfriend who would NOT believe I didn't go out clubbing, I never traveled with girls etc, I certainly didn't indulge in casual sex. I loved him with all my heart and now after a decade of not seeing him, I have not met another man, i.e. lived celibately. I see now, that because I had high energy, liked taking challenges, had a great job which I had to travel with (alone), worked out, kept my hair, makeup appearance really well that people - men judged I was Dynamic. Being blonde, 6ft with a 26 in waist complete what my brother called The Casino Chick look. Yet I have been with less than a handful of men, and had my heart broken twice.

In that same time I've seen heartless 'safe bet' women kick their husbands out ruthlessly, take what they had. Play around with everyone, never seem to have their hearts broken. And these women, whom I was astonished were able to attract ONE man, they are never, ever without a partner. I am asked out still, but I see all these male game plans and lines a mile off, and I just look at guys and think, this is all they want, sex. A conquest, yuk. They don't really want to know you, or commit, or really really love you. It makes celibacy a very attractive option. And guess what, I've even more energy to throw into projects, working out, a good life. Which makes me seem even more like the unreliable Dynamic Woman on the outside.

Don't be so quick to judge a book by its cover. There is no need for Dynamic women to miss out on the rare opportunity of a good man committing, just because of stereo types. I know for a fact I'd have made a better wife for my ex, who wouldn't commit to me, than the mousey safe bet he chose who was his cheating wife.

Yhaceed's picture

Here's the deal: you think you're better than the woman who's a safe bet and you may be right. But according to this article the reason these women cheated in the first place was due to insecurity or their husband was weak or they needed to force a change. So it would help if you explained what happened in the relationships you're speaking of because I'm not convinced. I'm not saying you don't deserve a relationship and that you wouldn't be faithful. I'm just saying you should clarify where the article is wrong. Again if I knew you I wouldn't automatically think that you wouldn't be faithful to me if we were in a relationship hypothetically speaking. As a matter Of fact I would treat you the same as someone who was the safe bet but here's the part you probably won't like. Just because I promise you fidelity doesn't mean it's automatically going to happen and vice versa. That's just human nature. So in a way of sorts that I won't explain I'd be working exactly what Chase mentioned to very high degree. In other words IF you really loved me you would think twice before cheating on me and if you didn't there would be no reason for me to commit. And of course if I really loved you I'd think twice before cheating on you. That's the basically the logic from this article. If you're not trying to refute that what's your concern?

Dominant, Yet Still Learning's picture

Hi, Let me start of by saying I absolutely hate weak females.
---- Females that are simple and feeble-minded and cant fend for their own.

Recently I found myself in a relationship where I noticed I have a strong-headed female. Shes beautiful, petite but does not take crap from anyone. She's my trophy, the reason I say this is because - EVERYBODY WANTS HER, AND HATE ON ME BECAUSE THEY CANT HAVE HER.

Why ? - Because I am that strong-minded male (I suppose), My girlfriend constantly reminds me that she likes a bigger man that she feels safe with. A man that can hold her tight and feel strong. She likes that - and I'm not saying you have to be big to fit this category, you just have to "sho' nuff" and prove it.

Let me admit, I am that guy that contains a little insecurity NOT IN ME, BUT IN A RELATIONSHIP because for the simple fact that I TRUST NO WOMEN, AND TRUST GETS YOU KILLED OR HURT IN THE END

BUT !

After putting time and effort in to this girl, I learned the hard way she wasn't going to be easy. I took me some weeks after meeting her to even start dating her. I'm happy it took time and put forth the effort because it means shes more faithful. NEVER ACCEPT A WOMEN AS YOUR GIRL WHO YOU HAD SEX WITH FIRST TIME MEETING HER. NO NO - If it's that easy for her then it's easy for the next guy too.

This girl took me a couple weeks to even kiss her, and I'm no lame - I'm used to some females just givin it up - BUT THIS ONE WAS WORTH IT.

But let me get to the point, before I go into my lifestory.

Like Chase states - Don't give in to everything your girl demands at you, throws at you such as ultimatums - No sometimes, I believe it is only right to give in only if you feel the need and you feel that you can benefit from it - That's whats going to keep the relationship going - Afterall , if you demand something with your partner - Wouldn't you want it to happen too?

To be honest, and to my surprise - I've been with this girl faithfully for some months now, Haven't touched another girl
sexually at all. Yet, every once in a while she has great insecurities and wanted to go back to just friends because she didn't want to get her heart broken. And she's no basic female, everyday its females that wanna be just like her, do they hair just like hers etc. - When I say I have a queen, a diva - I really Do.

READ:
As far as being weak, Don't under estimate your relationship or over estimate it.

Don't be a sucker for love either, its OK to love but don't end up being the B**** Boy that does everything she tells you to do.

When in a argument, ARGUE BACK, ARGUE STRONG
(They like that shit, unless you have a weak female and she cries - get rid of her asap)

When you hug her, hold her - Do it manly, do it strong, do it tight.

Don't be dramatic

Don't be too feely and overwhelmed with emotion they hate that.

If she ever hangs up on you, be that guy to call her back make yo point and hang up on her and do not pick up. Believe me shes going to call you 10 times after that.

When they say they don't need you, they do . Its a fallacy.

But don't give in to be the sucker.

When

Anonymous's picture

UndHey, i got a serious problem. I've been with this girl for a yaer and a half. At the beginning of the relationship i learned that she cheated on her last two relationships. One of them was after 9 months and she said she was broken and depressed. The other was for a month and she did it because he was abusive . She said she did not regret the second time. But the first tore her apart and was shunned by her friends. Anyways our relationship i guess you can say i was cheating phobic. She never did cheat on me. But the guy she cheated the first time with was her friend who she claims she has no emotion for. so i let her hang out with this guy still i mean talks atleast during our entire relationship. Then we break up one night and words are said because she was paying more attention to him than me so i ended it before i was cheated on. I saw my actions as just a burst of jealousy and i.decided to apologize. Thing is on my way to her house ( we live on the same street) i found her with that guy (making out) in the same place me and her first got intimate (in her car, she preferred it) feeling disgusted and a little betrayed after she told me she would not do anything for a while like that because we wanted to make sure it was over i left. Later at home she tells me she has no feelings for him and tells me she needed it to get her mind off things. I ask her if she has been cheating on me this whole time she says no. (yes i cried a little bit thinking that she has). Im just wondering what should i do next trust her and be with her or forget her?

heleholo's picture

so i want to ask that if the girls who cheated because of commitment still goes through the phases like rebound cool off and longing ?. I lost my girlfriend because of commitment with the same way you wrote in here.3 year distant relationship with her first time sex with me. later summer I make her feel neglected and not beautiful and she find another man didn't cheat me as phsycaly but started dating directly and breakup with me for him but she tried to get my love until the last day . So is she just find a guy for her self esteem or will she could still go through the phases of cool off and longing .

Does girlfriend run to someone because of commitment still goes through the phases of break up ?

and maybe an idea about how can i act from distance without chasing her ?

thanks

Anonymous's picture

This is the best page I have ever read. Because guys are insecure in relationships or they cheat. This page has changed my life and for all of you that don't get this...nobody is judging you...you are judging yourself. Confident but weak men cheat and are not good in relationships and unconfident but strong men are good in relationships but are usually cheated on cuz they are insecure. Be confident and strong just like CHASE the man said. DO WORK!

Thanks for this extremely helpful and eye opening article Chase!!!

someone's picture

Thanks T T

Anonymous's picture

Chase,

This might be the best article I've ever read. You dissected this topic to the bare bone and hopefully saved me from making a horrible mistake. You helped me turn a corner on how I was thinking about things, specifically Thought 2 : Control.

I really appreciate it.

Edo's picture

Ok I've been in a rship with a girl what seemed to be the blur, innocent, demure sweet type. She's not that hot, but she's got her assets. She's had 6 boyfriends before me. I was number 7.and that too, she left her boyfriend in another country to be with me. I made sure she resolved to completely before coming to me.
I was a happy go lucky, boyish 19 year old that time. She loved my gentleman side and life in me. After 2 years of living together, she said she wants to settle with me, I was a pessimistic, paranoid person, always criticizing of her past rships, and also I always was jealous whenever she scored higher than me in our exams (we both are in the same University). She's a bit of a flirt, more natural at talking with guys than girls. I was also paranoid about that.

During the 3rd year, One day, she went out with one of our University friends, a guy, quite a bad boy. they worked on the same thesis. I said I trusted her. She went home with him, and when I came busting at their door at midnight, they claimed nothing was happening.
Later we had a rocky rship coz of trust issues. Found some flirty messages on her phone, overall she had a overall flirty behavior.

Suddenly sumthg big happen, she had problems with the University had to be delayed. I was close and caring for her for all that time till she entered. It was our 4th year. She got a booty call one random night.
I confronted the guy and told him firmly to stay away.
Suddenly out of know where we had a huge argument, leading into a break up.

She found solace and a rebound bf who happened to be my best friend. I tried to get her back or at least tell me why and how she could break our rship. We were gonna get married in our 6th year.
And then she fold Me. She cheated on me the night with that bad boy during 3rd year. Then, she also had a mini affair and had sex 2 times with another hunk who was working out at a gym. If that wasn't enough, she was forced into sex with another guy but complied and even had a bathe with him.
That's why she said, our rship is too tainted, I had to leave.
She dated the new rebound for 6 months. I had left already.

Now she left the rebound and came after me saying I was the best she ever had and she's so shameful of what she did.

I wasn't the most perfect bf. I'm alright looking, I work out, I take care of her when she's sick, I love her woith all My heart and I shower my love and concern. I had my terrible pessimistic, egoistic paranoid attitude but we both clicked yet.

Is this fair to happen this way? Am I at fault?
And right now I want to try and make things work, yes I'm swallowing my dignity and pride. But I wanna see what wouldve happen if I showed I could be a REAL Man, and see if she cheats again. How bout it?

*ps she likes it when we talk, we always act adorable with each other. Pampering style. How do I BE A MAN and still do that?

Anonymous's picture

Great post, but I'm confused about some circular logic. You say that it's risky to enter into a committed relationship with a woman who has a high sex drive and has sex for fun, and is easily seduced. I agree with this.

However, the way to get girls in the first place (according to your posts on approaching women) is to flirt around with them and escalate to sex as soon as possible. So if we're flirting with girls and sleeping with them before they "fall in love" with us, how are we supposed to find the ones who will only have sex for love and not because we are seducing them?

Anonymous's picture

Hi Chase

I've been reading your articles on pretty much every topic there is on your site. I recently came out of a 7 yards relationship. In the beginning I was more confident than a peacock and over the years I adapted to worshiping the ground my ex walked on....long story short I relocated to another city for her as she impulsively decided to persue a career elsewhere but was open to me following her alba later stage. I moved up and to be honest career wise I've grown and opened a successful restaurant and doing well otherwise. A few reasons stand out on why I know it went wrong ...I did. Not Make enough money and wasn't ever there most of the time (chefs life) I couldn't hold a stable job because I did not understand the challenges of my iindustry when I first moved here. Although she knew I loved her with all my heart I just couldn't motivate myself to be a stronger figure for her. I completely understand why she left and it came at a time when she lost her father to cancer... as the no Brainer I feel I was the reason for this due to my lack of the above..I am emotional and I do believe I can balance that with a stronger character. I now found out 5 months later that she cheated on me and it's left me breathless... I ask you to please share any insight on how to remove the pathetic old me and bring back my peacock status ....I never had a problem with girls only I was a tad shy...other than that I've bounced back but I'm pretty torn today...I want to forgive and forget and move on briskly and correct my wrongs...

Broken and pathetic

Anonymous's picture

Chase,

This is the best article I've ever read on cheating..

Curious, how do you know this stuffs?

Fred's picture

My current girlfriend is great, she is 36 and her PAST is similar to the points listed above for red flags. I have been with her for a year and a half and I haven't seen any of these points now other than a high sex drive. She doesn't go to clubs anymore, she now has more girlfriends than guy friends, we only travel together, she is pretty tame and would prefer a night in versus going out. We are both committed to each other but we have had problems with me dealing with her past. The fights are always about me questioning her past and I have never seen her do anything to suggest she even talks to other guys. She assures me that she only wants to be with me and has no interest in being on the go and dating or having sex with anyone else. She sometimes laughs and says I'm probably the one more at risk as I didn't sew my oats. Overall she has an amazing sex drive, has slept with a number of men (maybe 25-35 is my guess), has traveled alone and has cheated on an ex-boyfriend before. Most days I feel good being with her but some days I wonder will she stray. When I read this article it makes me wonder more. Any insight?

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