How to Pick Up Girls on Valentine's Day | Girls Chase

How to Pick Up Girls on Valentine's Day

Part II of our series on Valentine's Day is directed at the single guys out there, after Part I, "What to Do with Your Girlfriend on Valentine's Day," covered the gamut for fellas in everything from casual to committed relationships. This one, then, is one how to pick up girls on Valentine's Day.

how to pick up girls on valentines day

The title, however, is somewhat misleading; because, as it turns out, the best day to pick up girls around this holiday is not on the day itself. Rather, the best day to pick up girls on Valentine's Day is not on Valentine's Day; the best day to pick up girls on Valentine's Day is, in fact, the day after Valentine's Day... a day an old friend of mine introduced to me as "National Rebound Day."

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

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Comments

Wes's picture

Nice advice on the screening of cynical women. Its as simple as that. Around where I live there are girls like at all year round. but if we can screen for attitudes like cynicism, is there a way to screen for other attitudes and personality types like girls with bubbly personalities just to name an example. Don't get confused, I'm not talking about valentine's day or rebound day for this one but for every other day of the year.
Any stretegies for screening for these?
i completely understand the idea of screening and everything but I feel not so educated on doing it. i don't know if its because I don't know what I'm looking for or...
i mean I'm not really a picky guy, I have many tastes for how I like women. Curvy sometimes, fit other times, skinny other times...they're all beautiful to me. as for personality, I always just adapt to that unless their personality is just extremely unpleasant.
Is there a way I can be more picky while holding onto having the variety of women I'm attracted to?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Wes-

That's an interesting question... how do you learn how to be more picky in terms of personality?

As men's experience with women goes up, their pickiness over short term partners goes down, but pickiness over long term partners stays the same or goes up. So part of it is changing how you're looking at things. I've noticed that a lot of very inexperienced guys screen every girl as if she's a girlfriend, even for one-night stands; they, understandably, don't tend to get girls very often (or at all). On the other hand, I've had friends who were convinced they'd stay single forever, so they'd screen very loosely with every girl they slept with until they "ended up" falling into a relationship with some random girl who was good enough quality-wise and knew how to get them invested in her, but maybe wasn't what they ideally would've wanted in a mate.

On your own end for screening, the two big questions seem to be:

1.) What do I want to do with this girl?

... so you can know what role you're looking for her to fill, and thus

2.) What qualities am I looking for, and what do those qualities look like?

For instance, one thing to look for a lot is adventurousness. Another is ambition. These qualities will help you out a lot with sleeping with girls quickly (adventurous women have less reservation about spontaneity and trying new and exciting things than more reserved women do; ambitious women tend to be higher testosterone and, thus, higher sex drive, as well as viewing things from a "big picture" lens, which makes fast sex not such a big, all-important deal). They can also be very important in selecting a mate, combined with certain other qualities.

I'd suggest taking a look again at the kinds of girls article and figuring out which types match up with you best, and what the qualities of them are. You can then start perking up your ears for those specifically, and teasing women's personalities apart as you talk to them to find out if they match.

Chase

Wes's picture

Okay i'm starting to get a better grasp on it now. following your advice now, I'm seeing girls everyday that in the past I wouldve ogled over but now i realize I only want them for one thing...sex.
So basically i should just screen for a girl who is deeper than a pretty face if that is what I'm looking for.
And if I screen for someone who is adventurous I'm looking for a girl who likes spontaneity.
Thankyou, you're really helping me get past this wall that I reached. I've never been on the picky choosy side before.

Brentwoodbam's picture

Awesome post Chase. It was funny because I am starting to think like a seducer, and starting a few days ago I have been thinking of ways to weasel my way into reminding chicks that they are single on V-Day, and that just is no fun!

Anyway, my question to you is this : Is 2/15 or the following days a decent time to also hit up a chick you recently dabbled with at all? I know the rules of texting chicks in which you are no longer in contact with, but are there any special reasons to do so because of V-day?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Brentwood-

Probably wouldn't recommend it, no. No matter how she's responding to the holiday, she's going to see contact from you very close to Valentine's as:

  • A bright, shining light in the darkness that maybe, just maybe, she can have a romantic boyfriend after all
  • An all-too-obvious attempt by you to capitalize on the holiday and put together a hookup
  • A silly interruption if she's spending the holiday with her boyfriend or a new lover that you may not know about

Even if she's cynical, she still probably writes you off as some guy who's maybe looking for love, or some guy who's doing too little, too late.

Better to wait until 4 or 5 days after the holiday when there's no chance of you being mistaken for a Valentine's Day romantic and contacting then. At that point, emotions have calmed down, and women tend to be in a more receptive mode in general.

Personally, even when I was still pretty inexperienced, I found late February to be a better month for picking up than average. 2006, 2007, 2008 all I can remember struggling in January with girls, and then suddenly finding that late February things would pick up and get a lot easier. I never actually associated this with the holiday... always assumed it was just the gradual changing of the seasons, or people getting back into the swing of things in the new year. But, you never know...

Chase

Maxz's picture

National Rebound day, classic.

Never thought about the day after Valentine in that sense, but it rings all the right bells. I am going to hit the town the day after Valentine, hopefully I will have tales of lust and passion to share.

Legendary, Chase.

Balla's picture

Sup Chase!!!! I just seen this music video and after finding your website I analyze everything that has to do with pick up. I would like to know what do you think about this scene?

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RubBzkZzpUA(skip to the one minute mark)
And if the link doesn't work it's "Drake Started From The Bottom" music video.

I know it's suppose to be a funny scene but I wanted to know if there's any real seduction tips from the video. Like if guy two was acting more attractive than guy 1 for such and such reason. All I got from it was he was more serious and said better things than guy one.

I just want to know your view point on it. Thanks Chase.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Balla-

It's a very exaggerated video, and there's not much there you can actually use to build a seductive persona. Wayne's body language in the few scenes where he's calm and poised is impeccable if a little exaggerated, though (although sometimes it's good to exaggerate good posture / body language if you're trying to catch attention and get approached / opened / reopened).

The real-life Lil' Wayne certainly knows his way around women, however. He had four children (so far as Wikipedia knows, anyway) plus a miscarriage by five different women, mostly singers and actresses, two of those children (born to two different mothers) born within a month-and-a-half of each other. Eazy-E's parenting record for rappers (7 children by 6 mothers) may just be in jeopardy if Wayne keeps it up... ;)

Chase

Balla's picture

Hey Chase I think you saw the wrong vid Because lil Wayne isn't in the video.
The video is "started from the bottom" by drake and the scene is at the 1:00 mark showing two guys trying to pick up a girl. Thanks

mark's picture

Hi Chase,

I get other emails from other dating advice sites, they run contrary to your advice regarding going out the day after,

Why do you think that is?

They all suggest going out to a bar/lounge and any woman that is out is fair game (because she doesnt want to be alone on this stupid holiday)

I mean couples wont go to a lounge , more like dinner/restaurants, right?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Mark-

There are plenty of couples who enjoy bars, clubs, and lounges, too. In my experience, and in those of my friends, venues are dead on Valentine's, at least so far as single women are concerned. And the few single women you do meet, they appear to view you more as a predator out to capitalize on their misfortune in the face of the holiday... rather than the fellow holiday-hater the cynical women see you as the next day. It's something like meeting women as a foreigner in Thailand or the Ukraine... you are automatically pegged as a sex tourist, and it's an uphill battle with any girl not serving that market.

But anyway, that's just a few men's experiences. Maybe guys writing those other columns you saw have had different experiences, or maybe there are a lot of women reacting differently to Valentine's than what I've seen in other parts of the country. I've only celebrated it in California, D.C., and small-town Pennsylvania, really. So perhaps there are other traditions elsewhere - nothing consistently throws you curve balls quite like human nature.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

hey chase quick simple question, this weekend im going to two valentines parties and they are themed the same, you have to choose which "category" you are,

1.single
2. its complicated
3.taken

which is the best way to go as ? I'm sure going as taken is out of the picture because

a) it makes you too hard to get
b) you look obvious
c) or you look like a sleaze

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

If there's a chance to write your own label, I'd take that option (or just grab a label and pen) and write something like, "Impress Me," on it, or, "Labels Are So 2000s," or something like that.

If not, then... you probably don't want to be anything obvious.

If you pick single, you nuke preselection and call yourself a guy without options. Women screen you harder.

If you pick "it's complicated," you sound like a guy who's either mired in a confusing mess and not in control of his life, or you're just dating around and are kind of a scuzz-bucket.

The one I'd probably go with is "Taken," if you had to pick just one, and then, underneath it, writing, "(kidding!)" or, even better, not saying anything at all, and just interacting with women as if you're single, even with the "Taken" label on. Then, when women start fishing for details ("So where's your honey at?") you can make up some ridiculous scenarios about it ("Well, I have three girlfriends, but they can never decide who gets me for Valentine's so I usually just go out alone") or make an inside joke about it ("I'm not actually taken, but I was afraid of getting cornered by that crazy fat girl over there. Don't tell her I'm not taken, okay?").

Chase

studentofthegame's picture

hi Chase.how can one portray being the silent strong type in school.me for one I don't socialize to much in school but I mainly observe so if I decide to engage in conversation how can I do this and still come off as silent yet strong.also if I get the urges to talk should I express or suppress them ?thanks :-)

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Student-

Eric had a really great post a while back about learning to become efficient in seduction here:

Making Your Seductions EFFICIENT

What that one talks about is basically why as you're learning sprezzatura (the ability to come off as strong and silent but also powerful, commanding, and attractive), you need to go through the process of moving from Unknown (the guy who hangs back and never engages) through the phases of Jester and Peasant until you're finally able to be the King.

I think your question here is basically, "How do I go from Unknown to King?" and the answer is, "By going first to Jester, then to Peasant, and finally to King." To do that, yes, you'll definitely need to start engaging, although realize that at first you're going to be trying too hard and not getting the best results. It's a learning process... keep getting data points, keep refining as you go along, and over time, you upgrade yourself, and you get there.

Chase

Wolf's picture

Great post Chase I read on the boards about being the most dominate in a night club or bar.
I plan on going to the club to scrap up some girls who didn't have such a good v-day. But I want to know exactly how to be more dominant without being a creep. I've tried to be dominant by pulling a girl to me, I'm pretty strong and was kinda of rough doing so, which lead me getting rejected very coldly. So what do I have to do or say to be more dominant? What does a dominant guy do in a club and how do you not go over board and not end up in the situation I was in?
Appreciate it

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Wolf-

Check out this article for if you were trying to dominate on the opener:

Pre-Opening

... if you pre-open effectively, you can often then open with dominance with women who are very receptive.

For being dominant after the opener, what you need is a build up of investment. Once she's invested in you to a certain point and comfortable following your lead, it gets easier and easier to act very dominantly with a girl and have her go along with it willingly (and enjoy it). Check out these posts for more on that:

Compliance Stacking

Tactics Tuesdays: Command Women (and Have Them Listen)

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase,

This is unrelated to this post but something that i wanted to ask you for a long time. For ages now I am stuck in this classical Murphy's law situation, the girls whom i am not interested are falling for me and the girls i like , don't. And when i thought about it I realised that with the girls that am not interested the casual behaviour, the sort of push away keep distance, teasing or flirting seems to come naturally and seduction is easy. But as soon as I develop interest I get conscious and it is not smooth at all. Either I convey the interest sub consciously and not live up to the seduction or I dont know what, but even the girls who are interested seem to loose interest. I think handling this certainly deserves a post as am sure there are countless others with the same issue.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hi Anon-

You're talking, to large degree, about learned indifference... about learning to be as calm, cool, and collected around girls you really like as you are with girls you don't much care for.

That's discussed to some extent here:

How to Get Perfect "10" Girls

... and it's very much related to sprezzatura and the Law of Least Effort, here and here:

Sprezzatura Effort and Investing

The Law of Least Effort

... but I agree, the topic could use a post specifically just on that.

So - I'll see what I can do.

Chase

tayoisrich's picture

for the 1st time I spotted something that i disagree with u on... actually I am happy about this... In ur does confidence = success post u took a blow @ Robert Kiyosaki but I just wanted to say that his 1st 4 books are all u need to read... going for his extra seminars are not really necessary. It's the fundamentals that he teaches that matters. Because of him. I have two assets that provide me income and I don't do much work on them... the books made me see things that way instead of getting a job ---> and I am working on building my 3rd asset presently... really Robert Kiyosaki opened my eyes (just his 1st 4 books I mean :-) )

u see he ain't all that bad.... :-)

I hear voices in my head...

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey Tayo-

Very cool to hear you've built some income-producing assets, man - that's what it's all about. No sense getting trapped in the grind unless that's really your thing (and I don't think it's really too many guys' things...).

Kiyosaki does have some good advice packed in, but my main grievance is that it doesn't come from experience and there's too much conjecture mixed in, and it's also mixed in with some very bad advice (also mostly conjecture). Some guys can go through that and they're fine because all they needed was a gentle push in the right direction and some inspirational words and stories and a few simple ideas are enough to spark their brains, and other guys have good radars for picking out the good and leaving the bad. But a lot of other people just take everything in, and those people, when they're inspired by someone who's giving out speculative and misleading advice, can end up going astray (I've met a number of them in the world of entrepreneurship, in fact).

The biggest good thing about Kiyosaki's books, I think, is that he's gotten them to go so mainstream, and he thus ends up being many people's first introduction to the world of entrepreneurship and breaking free from the rat race. So... in that, he's done some good. However, you've got to keep learning after Kiyosaki; the best business people I've met often read Kiyosaki early on, but got into more meaty stuff as they went along. So long as he serves primarily as the push to get you going, and then you get your real advice elsewhere (whether that's firsthand experience, or some mix of firsthand experience and book learning from people with firsthand experience), I think you're fine.

Chase

BrandonA's picture

Hi Chase,

Since today is rebound day I was wondering how we convey this message over text for either girls we've been talking to OR in my case girls I match on tinder today. How do we convey that slight sarcasm and screen for defiance when we have no nonverbals to work with?

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