How to Pick Up Girls on Valentine's Day


Part II of our series on Valentine's Day is directed at the single guys out there, after Part I, "What to Do with Your Girlfriend on Valentine's Day," covered the gamut for fellas in everything from casual to committed relationships. This one, then, is one how to pick up girls on Valentine's Day.

how to pick up girls on valentines day

The title, however, is somewhat misleading; because, as it turns out, the best day to pick up girls around this holiday is not on the day itself. Rather, the best day to pick up girls on Valentine's Day is not on Valentine's Day; the best day to pick up girls on Valentine's Day is, in fact, the day after Valentine's Day... a day an old friend of mine introduced to me as "National Rebound Day."


how to pick up girls on valentines day

If you read the previous article, I kicked things off with a brief few paragraphs on the history and evolution of Valentine's Day. It started off as a relatively obscure holiday in honor of one of (or perhaps all of) the many Christian saints named "Valentine;" became associated with the habit of birds beginning to mate in mid-February; and then became a rather debauched occasion, with men picking the names of women out of jars to select sex partners at random, before turning into a more romantic holiday a few hundred years later, and eventually a very commercialized holiday, throughout the English-speaking world and beyond.

Now, you may have read that and said, "If only we could bring back that tradition of picking names from a jar!" Well, as it turns out, the day after Valentine's Day keeps something of that original spirit of the holiday alive.

Valentine's does a number of things to women, not all of them "good" (as in: pleasant). For women in committed relationships, sure, it serves as a confidence booster and reinforcement that they're doing the "right" thing; but for women in uncommitted relationships, or with no partner at all, the holiday serves as something of a painful reminder, or even a wake-up call.

Because our society tends to define a woman's status by her romantic status (far more than it does so for men), and because the holiday so celebrates "love," and, by extension, committed relationships, women without a committed, "in love" romantic partner when the holiday rolls around go through something of a negative emotional cycle. The reaction of the woman to the holiday depends on her disposition, of course; but virtually ever single woman has some kind of reaction to it.


How Single Women React to Valentine's Day

There are three (3) chief kinds of initial reactions women without committed partners have to this holiday:

  1. Sadness. These are the girls who sit around and sulk a bit, act quieter than usual, and stay home by themselves polishing off a bag of chocolate. The take their lack of a partner as a negative judgment on themselves, and feel bad about it. They wonder why it is they can't find someone who loves them.

  2. Defiance. The women who react defiantly are the ones who will tell you, "Bah humbug! Who cares about Valentine's Day?!" They act like the fact that people celebrate this holiday at all in the first place is an insult to themselves (or to womankind, if they're of the more preachy variety) and display varying levels of cynicism and disgust for all things roses and hearts at this time of year.

  3. Awoken. I'm using the term "awoken" here to refer to women who'd been so consumed by whatever they'd been plowing their time into - work, school, research, projects, a business, a hobby, a passion, a cause, etc. - that they'd been completely ignoring romance for a while, and hadn't even realized that part of their lives had been on hold... until, that is, Valentine's Day happened once more. Their reaction isn't sad so much, nor is it necessarily defiant; more, it's similar to the foggy confusedness of someone who's just woken up from a dream, as culture has nudged them with the holiday and asked them to reassess their priorities, and they start thinking that maybe they ought to open up a place for men in their lives once more.

Now, off the top of your head, which woman would you suppose is going to be the most receptive to you around the time of this holiday?

Take a guess. Don't read on until you have.

...

...

... got it?

It isn't the sad girl. She's too busy drowning her sorrows in Hershey's and Nestle and Turkey Hill and Haagen-Dazs to worry about finding some new man.

And it isn't the awoken girl. She's functioning the most calmly of the three, not much impacted by the holiday, but realizing perhaps she ought to start her search anew.

No, it's the defiant girl, who wants to prove to herself how much she spits in the face of Valentine's Day - by going out and hooking up with some attractive new man, engaging in a relationship that is the very antithesis of the romance most women are pushing as the driving force behind this time of year.


Why Those Girls?

Especially if you're newer to the art of picking up girls, you may cringe at the very idea of spiteful, cynical women. But aren't they HARD to get? most guys ask.

If you haven't read this article yet, do go check it out: "How to Tell if a Girl is Horny Without Her Having to Tell You." If you're short on time or want the elevator pitch for it, here it is: when women are mean, it's very often because those women are horny (or, at least, undersexed; they may not consciously realize they're horny).

how to pick up girls on valentines day

Yes, sadness and vulnerability is sometimes tied to receptiveness to sexual advances, and women who seem sad and vulnerable will often trigger a sexual response in men. The problem with the sad, lonely girls around Valentine's Day isn't that they wouldn't love to have some dashing knave waltz in and put a huge smile on their faces with a brilliant seduction and a couple of mind-blowing orgasms; the problem is that the sad, lonely girls don't go out around Valentine's Day.

They're too busy moping. Even if you text them to come out or send them a message online, they're just going to ignore it or turn you down. They're too busy feeling sorry for themselves.

As for the girls who've just realized they've been ignoring men and probably ought to make men a priority once more, they're actually a lot less affected by the holiday than other women are. The holiday just served to jolt them awake; now they're single and looking, but with women's normal boyfriend-screening blinders on. You may sometimes run into women who've woken up again to men around Valentine's Day who are open to having a quick fling just to get going again with romance; that's not unheard of. You can still make things happen with these girls.

However, when you run into awoken women on Valentine's, they're usually just going to calmly assess your boyfriend potential, and be in no unusual hurry to accompany you to bed.

The defiant girls, though... they're the ones who are up for a little Valentine's Day naughtiness. They're the ones looking to shake a fist at the holiday and say, "Ha! So there!"

And probably the best way they can do that is by picking up a man right after the holiday, and going to bed with him quickly.


how to pick up girls on valentines day

The first time I heard the name "National Rebound Day," it was early 2008 and I'd been living in California for about 6 months. My best friend in town had told me about it, and asked me if I'd be joining him out on February 15th for the "holiday."

"Can't make it," I told him. "My girlfriend's flying out from D.C. for Valentine's; she'll be staying with me here for a couple of days."

"Dude," he said with a laugh, "you're missing out. It's National Rebound Day; the best day to pick up girls all year."

My friend ended up going out on both Valentine's Day and the next day - the one he was calling "National Rebound Day" - and I went out for dinner and drinks with my girlfriend on Valentine's. I'd noticed what you'd expect on Valentine's - the only people I saw out anywhere were couples. My friend confirmed - the bars were dead that night in Southern California.

However, the next night...

... as expected, he brought a girl home with him in record time. A tall, thin, attractive girl he'd met at a bar - she was with friends, he was alone - and had spent 30 minutes or so ragging on Valentine's Day with - and then invited back to his place. They slept together within only an hour or so of meeting.

Was it really that solid of a day to pick up on? Was it better than other holidays - and other times of the year?

What made February 15th such a good all-around day to meet women on?


The Anti-Holiday

Halloween and New Year's Eve both have reputations as big "hookup nights." And some hooking up does occur on these events (I put a post up on how to pick up girls on Halloween just last year). However, they're not always as good as advertised. Each of them has a few strikes against it that you'll recognize from our primer on picking up girls in bars and clubs:

  • Girls are often in big groups
  • They often have agendas for the night
  • The mood very frequently is party / festive, not sexy / seduction

Still doable, but you're going against the tide.

However, February 15th doesn't have any of these.

It's just another day... except that a lot of the women who are out are still smiting from Valentine's Day and would REALLY like a chance to show it exactly how much they care about it.

That is, not at all.

Women who are feeling defiant the day after this holiday frequently leap at the chance to be with a man... because of a desire to "prove" to society how little the tradition of Valentine's Day means to them.

So there, romantic love!


That Doesn't Mean She'll Be Easy, Though

You'll be disappointed if you think that means you're going to walk into a bar or a nightclub on National Rebound Day and women are immediately going to be all over you. They might be - you never know - but chances are, they're going to be largely keeping to themselves.

They're feeling defiant, remember. Not happy, giddy, and excited.

That means, of course, that it's your responsibility to find the women looking for you, approach them, and engage them.

Your base fundamentals still matter.

Your game still matters.

How you present yourself still matters.

Just because there are a lot more defiant women out than normal who'd like to make a statement by taking some attractive new beau to bed doesn't mean they're going to spring at the chance to roll in the hay with just anybody. You've still got to be on your game.

However, if you're doing things right, you stand a better-than-normal chance of picking up some attractive new girl on the day after Valentine's.


How to Get Girls on National Rebound Day

The first thing you need to be doing on February 15th is screening for that one quality we've been talking about this whole article: defiance.

If she isn't cynical, skeptical, or defiant, she isn't any more likely to accompany you home on National Rebound Day than she is on any other day.

Fortunately, we can get this one out of the way right off the bat: you can open girls by saying, "Happy day-after-Valentine's Day!" in a half-excited, half-sarcastic way (it's important you don't seem completely sincere here).

You'll know the girls you want by the eye roll, grunt, or disapproving half-smile they give you in reply.

how to pick up girls on valentines day

If she's nice here, she's probably either awoken or in a relationship. Sad girls won't be out (unless their friends dragged them out); awoken girls you shouldn't expect too much with. If a girl has a boyfriend, even if you'd normally try your hand at her anyway, unless they had a disastrous Valentine's Day she probably isn't going to be especially receptive to your charms (and if they did have a disastrous Valentine's Day, she's almost certainly going to fall into the sad or defiant categories, rather than the neutral "my boyfriend and I just had a nice Valentine's Day together and I'm happy and content" category).

So, if you normally steer clear of girls behaving sarcastically or cynically, you might struggle a little to keep up here... but if you're well-versed with these kinds of girls, they're more receptive now to you than perhaps any other time of year.

"Valentine's Day" is a tool you can use throughout your interaction with a girl feeling defiant, to remind her of how she's feeling about the holiday and get her prepped to go home with you. Don't over do it, where it's the only thing you ever talk about... but don't mention it only on the opener, and then never mention it again for the remainder of the conversation. It's a good topic if you broach it right.

Remember, because she's feeling defiant and annoyed, her patience is lower, and she'll more quickly move into auto-rejection if you don't move fast enough and get her out of there when she starts to really like you. She didn't go out the day after Valentine's Day to meet a boyfriend or husband. Keep that in mind. Be the kind of man she's looking for, and don't leave her hanging.

So, you might have an initial conversation that goes like this:

You: Happy day-after-Valentine's Day! [said half-sarcastically / slowly / in a sexy voice]

Her: Ugh...

You: I take it you spent last night cursing the marketing gods for an annoying holiday and not pulling petals off of forget-me-nots?

Her: I'm just pretending it didn't happen...

You: Yeah... [changing the topic to something more fun and suggestive] we can pretend last night was Halloween and we all got drunk and wore sexy costumes.

Her: [laughs]

You: If I remember right, you were dressed up as Xena.

Her: I would never dress up like Xena.

You: I'm going to order a drink. Don't go anywhere.

[you order a drink]

You: [turning back to her after getting drink] Come on, let's go sit down. [extend your arm]

Her: We just met.

You: All the more reason for us to get to know each other. Let's sit. [tap arm for her to take]

Just be unfazed through the initial cynical banter and get her investing and moving with you. Once you've done that, you've broken through the toughest part of the interaction with the girl, and so long as you keep things moving briskly, you'll be able to seal the deal.


What About Valentine's Day Itself?

I've gone out on Valentine's Day a few times. In my experience, it's pretty much always dead. Mostly just couples out.

Why? Well, my guess is, if you're a single girl... who's feeling glum about being single... and you know that no matter where you go tonight, there are going to be hordes of lovey-dovey couples celebrating their coupledom together... your incentive for venturing outside your home is virtually nil.

Texting, emailing, or messaging girls on dating sites to meet up on Valentine's Day itself is a mixed bag - I haven't bothered with this personally, but friends who've experimented with it have reported a few girls slept with and a lot of wasted time / gloomy replies / ignored messages. It seems that most women who aren't in a relationship just don't want to do anything on the holiday other than mope around.

That's why they need a rebound, the next day.


Picking Up After Valentine's Day

So, feel free to go out Valentine's Day yourself to meet girls, and get your own data points. You might prove me wrong, and find yourself a girl to take home that very night. Maybe there's a defiant girl who's so defiant that she's goes out Valentine's Day, to prove how badass she is. Or, if Valentine's falls on a weekend night, you may be able to find a girl out with all her partnered-up friends, and her the lone single woman in the group. The rest of the circle may all but force her onto you.

For my money though, in my experience, and those of my friends, it's the day after Valentine's Day that you want to be going out on if you want to help some lucky girl have a far more fantastic holiday than she imagined she would.

Remember the basics for the holiday:

  1. The day after Valentine's Day - "National Rebound Day" - is your best bet for picking up a new girl around this holiday

  2. Girls who seem defiant, cynical, disgusted, and skeptical are actually your best bets to joke around with, get into quick sexual rapport, and pull on this date (actually, they usually are, if you can handle them, but they are even more so on the ides of February)

  3. You can use the subject of Valentine's Day to remind a girl throughout a conversation of her feelings toward the holiday, and of her desire to "make a statement" against it. Just don't overdo it (and be a one-trick pony), and don't move too slowly once she's started getting worked up over the holiday and her desire to spit in its face (and she grabs another guy instead of you if you're hesitating to pull the trigger and invite her home)

... then put them to good use, and you should do just fine.

And, if you have any wild National Rebound Day tales to share - or any Valentine's Day escapades that fly in the face of what you'd expect for the holiday - by all means, please share them in the comments below to help other guys learn from your experiences too.

Happy Valentine's Day,
Chase

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Comments

Wes's picture

Nice advice on the screening


Nice advice on the screening of cynical women. Its as simple as that. Around where I live there are girls like at all year round. but if we can screen for attitudes like cynicism, is there a way to screen for other attitudes and personality types like girls with bubbly personalities just to name an example. Don't get confused, I'm not talking about valentine's day or rebound day for this one but for every other day of the year.
Any stretegies for screening for these?
i completely understand the idea of screening and everything but I feel not so educated on doing it. i don't know if its because I don't know what I'm looking for or...
i mean I'm not really a picky guy, I have many tastes for how I like women. Curvy sometimes, fit other times, skinny other times...they're all beautiful to me. as for personality, I always just adapt to that unless their personality is just extremely unpleasant.
Is there a way I can be more picky while holding onto having the variety of women I'm attracted to?

Chase Amante's picture

Screening for Personality

Author

Wes-

That's an interesting question... how do you learn how to be more picky in terms of personality?

As men's experience with women goes up, their pickiness over short term partners goes down, but pickiness over long term partners stays the same or goes up. So part of it is changing how you're looking at things. I've noticed that a lot of very inexperienced guys screen every girl as if she's a girlfriend, even for one-night stands; they, understandably, don't tend to get girls very often (or at all). On the other hand, I've had friends who were convinced they'd stay single forever, so they'd screen very loosely with every girl they slept with until they "ended up" falling into a relationship with some random girl who was good enough quality-wise and knew how to get them invested in her, but maybe wasn't what they ideally would've wanted in a mate.

On your own end for screening, the two big questions seem to be:

1.) What do I want to do with this girl?

... so you can know what role you're looking for her to fill, and thus

2.) What qualities am I looking for, and what do those qualities look like?

For instance, one thing to look for a lot is adventurousness. Another is ambition. These qualities will help you out a lot with sleeping with girls quickly (adventurous women have less reservation about spontaneity and trying new and exciting things than more reserved women do; ambitious women tend to be higher testosterone and, thus, higher sex drive, as well as viewing things from a "big picture" lens, which makes fast sex not such a big, all-important deal). They can also be very important in selecting a mate, combined with certain other qualities.

I'd suggest taking a look again at the kinds of girls article and figuring out which types match up with you best, and what the qualities of them are. You can then start perking up your ears for those specifically, and teasing women's personalities apart as you talk to them to find out if they match.

Chase

Wes's picture

Thanks


Okay i'm starting to get a better grasp on it now. following your advice now, I'm seeing girls everyday that in the past I wouldve ogled over but now i realize I only want them for one thing...sex.
So basically i should just screen for a girl who is deeper than a pretty face if that is what I'm looking for.
And if I screen for someone who is adventurous I'm looking for a girl who likes spontaneity.
Thankyou, you're really helping me get past this wall that I reached. I've never been on the picky choosy side before.

Brentwoodbam's picture

Awesome post Chase. It was


Awesome post Chase. It was funny because I am starting to think like a seducer, and starting a few days ago I have been thinking of ways to weasel my way into reminding chicks that they are single on V-Day, and that just is no fun!

Anyway, my question to you is this : Is 2/15 or the following days a decent time to also hit up a chick you recently dabbled with at all? I know the rules of texting chicks in which you are no longer in contact with, but are there any special reasons to do so because of V-day?

Chase Amante's picture

Using Valentine's as an Occasion

Author

Brentwood-

Probably wouldn't recommend it, no. No matter how she's responding to the holiday, she's going to see contact from you very close to Valentine's as:

  • A bright, shining light in the darkness that maybe, just maybe, she can have a romantic boyfriend after all
  • An all-too-obvious attempt by you to capitalize on the holiday and put together a hookup
  • A silly interruption if she's spending the holiday with her boyfriend or a new lover that you may not know about

Even if she's cynical, she still probably writes you off as some guy who's maybe looking for love, or some guy who's doing too little, too late.

Better to wait until 4 or 5 days after the holiday when there's no chance of you being mistaken for a Valentine's Day romantic and contacting then. At that point, emotions have calmed down, and women tend to be in a more receptive mode in general.

Personally, even when I was still pretty inexperienced, I found late February to be a better month for picking up than average. 2006, 2007, 2008 all I can remember struggling in January with girls, and then suddenly finding that late February things would pick up and get a lot easier. I never actually associated this with the holiday... always assumed it was just the gradual changing of the seasons, or people getting back into the swing of things in the new year. But, you never know...

Chase

Maxz's picture

National Rebound day,


National Rebound day, classic.

Never thought about the day after Valentine in that sense, but it rings all the right bells. I am going to hit the town the day after Valentine, hopefully I will have tales of lust and passion to share.

Legendary, Chase.

Balla's picture

Music video pick up


Sup Chase!!!! I just seen this music video and after finding your website I analyze everything that has to do with pick up. I would like to know what do you think about this scene?

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RubBzkZzpUA(skip to the one minute mark)
And if the link doesn't work it's "Drake Started From The Bottom" music video.

I know it's suppose to be a funny scene but I wanted to know if there's any real seduction tips from the video. Like if guy two was acting more attractive than guy 1 for such and such reason. All I got from it was he was more serious and said better things than guy one.

I just want to know your view point on it. Thanks Chase.

Chase Amante's picture

Lil' Wayne

Author

Balla-

It's a very exaggerated video, and there's not much there you can actually use to build a seductive persona. Wayne's body language in the few scenes where he's calm and poised is impeccable if a little exaggerated, though (although sometimes it's good to exaggerate good posture / body language if you're trying to catch attention and get approached / opened / reopened).

The real-life Lil' Wayne certainly knows his way around women, however. He had four children (so far as Wikipedia knows, anyway) plus a miscarriage by five different women, mostly singers and actresses, two of those children (born to two different mothers) born within a month-and-a-half of each other. Eazy-E's parenting record for rappers (7 children by 6 mothers) may just be in jeopardy if Wayne keeps it up... ;)

Chase

Balla's picture

Wrong vid


Hey Chase I think you saw the wrong vid Because lil Wayne isn't in the video.
The video is "started from the bottom" by drake and the scene is at the 1:00 mark showing two guys trying to pick up a girl. Thanks

mark's picture

going out single on VDAY


Hi Chase,

I get other emails from other dating advice sites, they run contrary to your advice regarding going out the day after,

Why do you think that is?

They all suggest going out to a bar/lounge and any woman that is out is fair game (because she doesnt want to be alone on this stupid holiday)

I mean couples wont go to a lounge , more like dinner/restaurants, right?

Chase Amante's picture

Going Out on Valentine's

Author

Mark-

There are plenty of couples who enjoy bars, clubs, and lounges, too. In my experience, and in those of my friends, venues are dead on Valentine's, at least so far as single women are concerned. And the few single women you do meet, they appear to view you more as a predator out to capitalize on their misfortune in the face of the holiday... rather than the fellow holiday-hater the cynical women see you as the next day. It's something like meeting women as a foreigner in Thailand or the Ukraine... you are automatically pegged as a sex tourist, and it's an uphill battle with any girl not serving that market.

But anyway, that's just a few men's experiences. Maybe guys writing those other columns you saw have had different experiences, or maybe there are a lot of women reacting differently to Valentine's than what I've seen in other parts of the country. I've only celebrated it in California, D.C., and small-town Pennsylvania, really. So perhaps there are other traditions elsewhere - nothing consistently throws you curve balls quite like human nature.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

valentines parties


hey chase quick simple question, this weekend im going to two valentines parties and they are themed the same, you have to choose which "category" you are,

1.single
2. its complicated
3.taken

which is the best way to go as ? I'm sure going as taken is out of the picture because

a) it makes you too hard to get
b) you look obvious
c) or you look like a sleaze

Chase Amante's picture

Labels at Parties

Author

Anon-

If there's a chance to write your own label, I'd take that option (or just grab a label and pen) and write something like, "Impress Me," on it, or, "Labels Are So 2000s," or something like that.

If not, then... you probably don't want to be anything obvious.

If you pick single, you nuke preselection and call yourself a guy without options. Women screen you harder.

If you pick "it's complicated," you sound like a guy who's either mired in a confusing mess and not in control of his life, or you're just dating around and are kind of a scuzz-bucket.

The one I'd probably go with is "Taken," if you had to pick just one, and then, underneath it, writing, "(kidding!)" or, even better, not saying anything at all, and just interacting with women as if you're single, even with the "Taken" label on. Then, when women start fishing for details ("So where's your honey at?") you can make up some ridiculous scenarios about it ("Well, I have three girlfriends, but they can never decide who gets me for Valentine's so I usually just go out alone") or make an inside joke about it ("I'm not actually taken, but I was afraid of getting cornered by that crazy fat girl over there. Don't tell her I'm not taken, okay?").

Chase

studentofthegame's picture

Strong silent type


hi Chase.how can one portray being the silent strong type in school.me for one I don't socialize to much in school but I mainly observe so if I decide to engage in conversation how can I do this and still come off as silent yet strong.also if I get the urges to talk should I express or suppress them ?thanks :-)

Chase Amante's picture

Learning Effortlessness

Author

Student-

Eric had a really great post a while back about learning to become efficient in seduction here:

Making Your Seductions EFFICIENT

What that one talks about is basically why as you're learning sprezzatura (the ability to come off as strong and silent but also powerful, commanding, and attractive), you need to go through the process of moving from Unknown (the guy who hangs back and never engages) through the phases of Jester and Peasant until you're finally able to be the King.

I think your question here is basically, "How do I go from Unknown to King?" and the answer is, "By going first to Jester, then to Peasant, and finally to King." To do that, yes, you'll definitely need to start engaging, although realize that at first you're going to be trying too hard and not getting the best results. It's a learning process... keep getting data points, keep refining as you go along, and over time, you upgrade yourself, and you get there.

Chase

Wolf's picture

Being dominant in the club


Great post Chase I read on the boards about being the most dominate in a night club or bar.
I plan on going to the club to scrap up some girls who didn't have such a good v-day. But I want to know exactly how to be more dominant without being a creep. I've tried to be dominant by pulling a girl to me, I'm pretty strong and was kinda of rough doing so, which lead me getting rejected very coldly. So what do I have to do or say to be more dominant? What does a dominant guy do in a club and how do you not go over board and not end up in the situation I was in?
Appreciate it

Chase Amante's picture

Dominating in Clubs

Author

Wolf-

Check out this article for if you were trying to dominate on the opener:

Pre-Opening

... if you pre-open effectively, you can often then open with dominance with women who are very receptive.

For being dominant after the opener, what you need is a build up of investment. Once she's invested in you to a certain point and comfortable following your lead, it gets easier and easier to act very dominantly with a girl and have her go along with it willingly (and enjoy it). Check out these posts for more on that:

Compliance Stacking

Tactics Tuesdays: Command Women (and Have Them Listen)

Chase

Anonymous's picture

The Murphy s law


Hey Chase,

This is unrelated to this post but something that i wanted to ask you for a long time. For ages now I am stuck in this classical Murphy's law situation, the girls whom i am not interested are falling for me and the girls i like , don't. And when i thought about it I realised that with the girls that am not interested the casual behaviour, the sort of push away keep distance, teasing or flirting seems to come naturally and seduction is easy. But as soon as I develop interest I get conscious and it is not smooth at all. Either I convey the interest sub consciously and not live up to the seduction or I dont know what, but even the girls who are interested seem to loose interest. I think handling this certainly deserves a post as am sure there are countless others with the same issue.

Chase Amante's picture

Learned Indifference

Author

Hi Anon-

You're talking, to large degree, about learned indifference... about learning to be as calm, cool, and collected around girls you really like as you are with girls you don't much care for.

That's discussed to some extent here:

How to Get Perfect "10" Girls

... and it's very much related to sprezzatura and the Law of Least Effort, here and here:

Sprezzatura Effort and Investing

The Law of Least Effort

... but I agree, the topic could use a post specifically just on that.

So - I'll see what I can do.

Chase

tayoisrich's picture

Hey Chase...


for the 1st time I spotted something that i disagree with u on... actually I am happy about this... In ur does confidence = success post u took a blow @ Robert Kiyosaki but I just wanted to say that his 1st 4 books are all u need to read... going for his extra seminars are not really necessary. It's the fundamentals that he teaches that matters. Because of him. I have two assets that provide me income and I don't do much work on them... the books made me see things that way instead of getting a job ---> and I am working on building my 3rd asset presently... really Robert Kiyosaki opened my eyes (just his 1st 4 books I mean :-) )

u see he ain't all that bad.... :-)

I hear voices in my head...

Chase Amante's picture

Robert Kiyosaki

Author

Hey Tayo-

Very cool to hear you've built some income-producing assets, man - that's what it's all about. No sense getting trapped in the grind unless that's really your thing (and I don't think it's really too many guys' things...).

Kiyosaki does have some good advice packed in, but my main grievance is that it doesn't come from experience and there's too much conjecture mixed in, and it's also mixed in with some very bad advice (also mostly conjecture). Some guys can go through that and they're fine because all they needed was a gentle push in the right direction and some inspirational words and stories and a few simple ideas are enough to spark their brains, and other guys have good radars for picking out the good and leaving the bad. But a lot of other people just take everything in, and those people, when they're inspired by someone who's giving out speculative and misleading advice, can end up going astray (I've met a number of them in the world of entrepreneurship, in fact).

The biggest good thing about Kiyosaki's books, I think, is that he's gotten them to go so mainstream, and he thus ends up being many people's first introduction to the world of entrepreneurship and breaking free from the rat race. So... in that, he's done some good. However, you've got to keep learning after Kiyosaki; the best business people I've met often read Kiyosaki early on, but got into more meaty stuff as they went along. So long as he serves primarily as the push to get you going, and then you get your real advice elsewhere (whether that's firsthand experience, or some mix of firsthand experience and book learning from people with firsthand experience), I think you're fine.

Chase

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